Likes and subscribes help a ton. Thank you so much for considering that! For private coaching with me: www.TheLoveChat.net/coaching For professional therapy: www.BetterHelp.com/Rory (I am paid a commission, you receive 10% off therapy)
It's hard, but when people say get a new hobby and make new friends, it really really helps. I went out and started rooftopping and climbing towers (although dangerous, it's my version of fun and really gets me fit and helps me see joy in life), and then I started hanging out with friends at least once a week. If you don't have a lot of good friends, maybe try getting a new job where you can meet a bunch of new people? Or go find a hobby with people who enjoy it? I think that leaving your ex out of the picture really helps. Don't do no contact for them, do it for you. Don't stalk their instagram, just leave it alone. You will get to a point where you don't really need to watch these videos to often, maybe come back once awhile to keep yourself in check. But yeah thats my take on it.
You got this everyone. Rory is such a massive help. Listen to him time heals all and I thought it wouldn't it's been 7 months no contact and I feel better Sadly I was talking to a new chick but she tried monkey branching to me hell no not happening! 🤣
My manipulative ex BF who dumped me, he got engaged to a much older woman 9 years older than him! What helped me was getting a new job and meeting new people and I soon developed crushes on other guys! It helped me get over my ex. I’m not 100% over the trauma he had me endure, but I’m over him basically 100%.
I'm grateful for: 1) the sun and fresh air 2) the fact I have family and friends who care 3) second chances - with the right people (in my circles) 4) herbs, fruit and vegetables work like medicine 5) work full-time 6) a roof over my head 7) personal growth on a continuum
Been a while since I've seen one of your videos, so I'll take a moment to provide some unique insight with my own circumstances. When I joined your channel 3 years ago, my ex and I had just broken up after a relationship of 6 years. Within about 2 weeks, she was dating an orbiter she had monkey-branched to. Over the last 3 years, they have been moved in together for about 2 years, and are thinking of buying property together. Quite normal, but for me, it's as if someone has stole the place I wanted to be and completely supplanted me. There are two significant emotional problems that I contended with since my breakup. The first being that I made several life-altering decisions for my relationship; I gave up on going to a university abroad, for example. Having a relationship fail after making such decisions will feel like a shattering blow to your soul. I found this the easier one to accept. As long as you have a good education, eat well, exercise, sleep well, and find some sense of peace of mind, the feeling of having wasted time and effort will eventually ebb. The second problem, that I am unable to rid myself of even now, is the intense anxiety that comes whenever I think of meeting my ex in person again or someone talking about how her life seems to be much better after having left me for her new boyfriend. The brain works in mysterious ways, and triggering your fight or flight instinct at the first indicator that harm is about to come your way is one of them. Suppose you got hit by lightning once and survived; how calm are you going to feel when you see black clouds overhead again? Perhaps some of it is rooted in the insecurity of being weak, which I think applies to many people. "If only I were better, if only I did this, if only I did that. I'll never be as good as XYZ". I suspect this is one that's best left to a professional rather than self-medication. I'll leave a another example. This week, one of our mutual friends told me that my ex would be helping him out at his booth at our local anime convention. He also mentioned something about her and her new boyfriend selling their figurine collection. I plan to attend the convention, and then it hit me. What if one of the things they plan to sell is the figurine I got my ex for her birthday, the first birthday present I ever bought her? If I walk past that booth and see that figurine on display for sale, I'm probably going to lose my mind, given its sentimental value and significance to me. I am almost completely unable to think logically when these kinds of things trigger my anxiety. I don't think there's ever truly a solution to this. However, we can prepare for it in our minds, be vigilant, and calm ourselves so that we don't reactive impulsively. As a final thought, if anyone here has experienced anything like what I've described above, understand that feeling grief or anxiety like this doesn't make you weak. Pain and trauma affects each of us differently. While we all want to feel better and reach a happier place, we're only human at the end of the day. Some things can only be fixed by time, and even then, they won't be the same ever again.
Ive been down that road. All of my exes left me for another guy(4 times now). It sucks, id chase and chase. This happened to me recently and man let me tell you i felt worthless, absolutely broken. Then it dawned on me, every time it happened i grew. Sometimes by small margins some by leaps and bounds. I never understood why this kept happening to me. I completely lost trust in girls. But I reminded myself that there is another girl like me. Who couldn’t imagine doing that. Choosing to work on the relationship. Ive also realized the root problem that tends to cause this. Im to codependent, ive been raised to give and give. Dont get me wrong i still give. Im learning to love myself, be more confident, experience new things, set boundaries, to walk away , and overall just improve in general. This channel has really helped me to recognize what to do. Trust me it will pass but you have to face you fears and unroot the problem. I wish you the best!
Bro I’m exactly the same broke up 2 years ago now and she’s been with him ever since. You’re right it’s so weird how anxious we all get when thinking of our ex’s and the ones they replaced us with it’s got to be human nature I suppose. Keep going strong champ 💪🏼
Its so hard to stop comparing, i havent managed it yet! The new lady doesnt look attractive to me, but he clearly sees something in her, its very confusing and makes me doubt myself
My ex girlfriend and I were together a year and half. We've been broken up for 15 months. During our relationship I never meet her adult sons. However I did meet her brother and close friends. She has been with her new boyfriend for a year and he has meet her adult sons and the rest of her immediate family. I'm so angry and hurt!!
Love ur content Rory, even tho I’m not hurting anymore, and honestly miss the twitch streams, I’ll be back hopefully soon, lmao “I’m grateful for coffee” ofc you are 😂🤲🏻
Tbh I don't think I'll ever find out if she's in a new relationship she's blocked everywhere and I've deactivated my Facebook until I've healed and I'm ready ill go back on there , new information right now will just break my path and vision as atm im eating well , weight training and growing in confidence I don't need any distractions
Lucky man. My exs friends realllyyyyy wanted to rub it on my face. They kept sending me pictures trougth anonymous numbers pictures of her like blowing other guys, out drinking etc. Shes dating now, lowkey a downgrade and he looks like me like I used to be lol. Fat, now Im somewhat taller and fit lol she seriously downgraded.
@@theglobalistchannel1471 luckily I never really met her friends tbh, only together for a year, she's not a party girl but she loves attention on dating apps she's admitted to sleeping with someone else and on the night we was meant to reconnect and go for food she cancelled on me to go for drinks with her ex, and I know he stayed the night she denies it still but obviously know she's lying that was hard enough for me to take knowing we was so close to fixing things, like I said blocked and having a break from social media need to level up on the quiet and hopefully later down the road we cross paths and she sees what she missed out on, and the song " when you see my face hope it gives you hell" comes to mind 😜
@@theglobalistchannel1471 they are really messed up. Think of how much you dodged a bullet, in fact not just a bullet but a cannon ball if they really have to go out of their way to do that to you it just shows that you are worthy of someone even better
It took me 4 months and im finally feeling better. I still cry about it daily and she is still with her rebound. So she is beating all the odds and statistics saying rebounds dont last. She literally went out with the guy the same week she broke up with me and has been with him ever since. Happy as can be even though she has reached out 2 times in her relationship and been on the phone with me 3 hours total and told me she missed me. But obviously not enough. I think they will get married. At the very least she will get engaged this year. So all my nightmares are coming true.
It's just very devastated right now and it breaks my heart every time I think about it and I'll we were together for 2 years and we only live 30 seconds apart I mean that is a scumbag move I mean she has BPD How could somebody move in right away just like that that's not normal
Hey Anthony... I know it hurts right now... thats normal and your not alone. A big thing that helped me was differentiating between my ex and the fantasy/idealised version of my ex I had built up in my head. They are not the same people. Take this lady off the pedestal she is on. She doesnt belong up there. Take the focus from her and put it onto you. Its time to put yourself first. Go take up running, get fit, hit the gym, start journalling, lift weights, take up new hobbies, make more friends. Get after it. Let's not sit around feeling sad for weeks. Let's get after it. Time to focus on yourself. It gets better. Focus on you. You got this.
Yeah I appreciate your comment but still it's very devastated mean it breaks my heart we had plans for this year and I can't believe what was done to me I feel like I was stabbed multiple times not hard I can't believe she heal quicker than me
Dear Rory, thanks for your amazing helpfull video's. Me and my turkish ex husband( having Belgium nationality)are devorced in Belgium for almost 2 years. We still have a very good connection with eachother. Now it turn out that for the turkish law we are still married. We both agree that we gonna devorce here in Turkey also. Law in Turkey is different than in Belgium. I still have a good connection with his family and im always welcome. Stiĺl now im here i feel like i have a relapse. It was so easy for me in Belgium, we both agree with the devorce. How come that now I'm here i have it so difficult. How is that possible? Here in Turkey we have to come for cort tomorrow because there is no other way. I just ask myself why it was so easy for me emotionaly in Belgium and here i feel like i go trough a second brake up. We were married for 10 years. I just wanna know why i have such bad feeling? With a lot of Greetings from Belgium/ Turkey.
What if my ex went back to her previous ex (we were together for 9 years)? She actually monkey branched to him when we were dating for 3 years (lasted 3 months) and stupid me took her back (happened in 2016). We have a 5 year old kid now and breakup happened in january this year. Thanks, Rory!
hey i need advice badly my ex started dating someone and told me and i ended up acting on my feelings and made them upset should i be in no contact or will they think less of me for how i acted?
Hi I got a question for everybody out there I just got out of a bad breakup about 2 months ago a couple of weeks go by she got back with an ex-husband from 20 years ago and got engaged on April 1st now is that considered a rebound what do you think will it work out between the both of them because since then she hasn't been living in her house and living with this crack pot anybody have the answer please let me know thank you
Yes, it sounds like a rebound. Rebounds are not likely to work but he may have been orbiting her while you two were having issues. Use this time of no contact to process & lick your wounds then start living your life without her. There's no guarantees that they will break up or of her coming back in future. You do you
Likes and subscribes help a ton. Thank you so much for considering that!
For private coaching with me: www.TheLoveChat.net/coaching
For professional therapy: www.BetterHelp.com/Rory (I am paid a commission, you receive 10% off therapy)
It's hard, but when people say get a new hobby and make new friends, it really really helps. I went out and started rooftopping and climbing towers (although dangerous, it's my version of fun and really gets me fit and helps me see joy in life), and then I started hanging out with friends at least once a week. If you don't have a lot of good friends, maybe try getting a new job where you can meet a bunch of new people? Or go find a hobby with people who enjoy it? I think that leaving your ex out of the picture really helps. Don't do no contact for them, do it for you. Don't stalk their instagram, just leave it alone. You will get to a point where you don't really need to watch these videos to often, maybe come back once awhile to keep yourself in check. But yeah thats my take on it.
When they move on is a good thing, that just validates that they never really cared for you. That will give you the strength to get over them.
Yes if a dumper can’t endure they never help you @ the highest regard. They should have . I do not wish them happiness.
You got this everyone. Rory is such a massive help. Listen to him time heals all and I thought it wouldn't it's been 7 months no contact and I feel better Sadly I was talking to a new chick but she tried monkey branching to me hell no not happening! 🤣
Based
My manipulative ex BF who dumped me, he got engaged to a much older woman 9 years older than him! What helped me was getting a new job and meeting new people and I soon developed crushes on other guys! It helped me get over my ex. I’m not 100% over the trauma he had me endure, but I’m over him basically 100%.
9 years isn’t a lot lol
I'm grateful for:
1) the sun and fresh air
2) the fact I have family and friends who care
3) second chances - with the right people (in my circles)
4) herbs, fruit and vegetables work like medicine
5) work full-time
6) a roof over my head
7) personal growth on a continuum
Been a while since I've seen one of your videos, so I'll take a moment to provide some unique insight with my own circumstances. When I joined your channel 3 years ago, my ex and I had just broken up after a relationship of 6 years. Within about 2 weeks, she was dating an orbiter she had monkey-branched to. Over the last 3 years, they have been moved in together for about 2 years, and are thinking of buying property together. Quite normal, but for me, it's as if someone has stole the place I wanted to be and completely supplanted me.
There are two significant emotional problems that I contended with since my breakup. The first being that I made several life-altering decisions for my relationship; I gave up on going to a university abroad, for example. Having a relationship fail after making such decisions will feel like a shattering blow to your soul. I found this the easier one to accept. As long as you have a good education, eat well, exercise, sleep well, and find some sense of peace of mind, the feeling of having wasted time and effort will eventually ebb.
The second problem, that I am unable to rid myself of even now, is the intense anxiety that comes whenever I think of meeting my ex in person again or someone talking about how her life seems to be much better after having left me for her new boyfriend. The brain works in mysterious ways, and triggering your fight or flight instinct at the first indicator that harm is about to come your way is one of them. Suppose you got hit by lightning once and survived; how calm are you going to feel when you see black clouds overhead again? Perhaps some of it is rooted in the insecurity of being weak, which I think applies to many people. "If only I were better, if only I did this, if only I did that. I'll never be as good as XYZ". I suspect this is one that's best left to a professional rather than self-medication.
I'll leave a another example. This week, one of our mutual friends told me that my ex would be helping him out at his booth at our local anime convention. He also mentioned something about her and her new boyfriend selling their figurine collection. I plan to attend the convention, and then it hit me. What if one of the things they plan to sell is the figurine I got my ex for her birthday, the first birthday present I ever bought her? If I walk past that booth and see that figurine on display for sale, I'm probably going to lose my mind, given its sentimental value and significance to me. I am almost completely unable to think logically when these kinds of things trigger my anxiety. I don't think there's ever truly a solution to this. However, we can prepare for it in our minds, be vigilant, and calm ourselves so that we don't reactive impulsively.
As a final thought, if anyone here has experienced anything like what I've described above, understand that feeling grief or anxiety like this doesn't make you weak. Pain and trauma affects each of us differently. While we all want to feel better and reach a happier place, we're only human at the end of the day. Some things can only be fixed by time, and even then, they won't be the same ever again.
I think you have idolized her. Into something she is simply not and by doing so it's crippled you. I'm really sorry. It ain't easy.
@@chriswest7639 That's what it means to be young, dumb, and in love 🤣
She meant a lot to me, so it can't be helped
Ive been down that road. All of my exes left me for another guy(4 times now). It sucks, id chase and chase. This happened to me recently and man let me tell you i felt worthless, absolutely broken. Then it dawned on me, every time it happened i grew. Sometimes by small margins some by leaps and bounds. I never understood why this kept happening to me. I completely lost trust in girls. But I reminded myself that there is another girl like me. Who couldn’t imagine doing that. Choosing to work on the relationship. Ive also realized the root problem that tends to cause this. Im to codependent, ive been raised to give and give. Dont get me wrong i still give. Im learning to love myself, be more confident, experience new things, set boundaries, to walk away , and overall just improve in general. This channel has really helped me to recognize what to do. Trust me it will pass but you have to face you fears and unroot the problem. I wish you the best!
Bro I’m exactly the same broke up 2 years ago now and she’s been with him ever since. You’re right it’s so weird how anxious we all get when thinking of our ex’s and the ones they replaced us with it’s got to be human nature I suppose. Keep going strong champ 💪🏼
The only good thing about being instantly blocked soon as he left me. I don't have to see stuff like this. Thank God.
Yeah, but then the new gf found me on social media and posted pictures of them for me to see. Why? Idk. 🙃
@@samanthaj1001 Oh my goodness
same
5 days NC. He was seeing someone else behind my back. I'm.still in a state of numb and shock.
Hit the fucking like button
Thanks for the video Rory!
Its so hard to stop comparing, i havent managed it yet! The new lady doesnt look attractive to me, but he clearly sees something in her, its very confusing and makes me doubt myself
She wanted be friends after. That's the reason I refused since she be dating someone else. That be devastating
I’m actually dreading this moment 😢
same
My ex was with someone in 2weeks of the break up i didnt realy have chances to sort my self out
My ex girlfriend and I were together a year and half. We've been broken up for 15 months. During our relationship I never meet her adult sons. However I did meet her brother and close friends.
She has been with her new boyfriend for a year and he has meet her adult sons and the rest of her immediate family.
I'm so angry and hurt!!
Love ur content Rory, even tho I’m not hurting anymore, and honestly miss the twitch streams, I’ll be back hopefully soon, lmao “I’m grateful for coffee” ofc you are 😂🤲🏻
I wish them the best. Then I move on.
Tbh I don't think I'll ever find out if she's in a new relationship she's blocked everywhere and I've deactivated my Facebook until I've healed and I'm ready ill go back on there , new information right now will just break my path and vision as atm im eating well , weight training and growing in confidence I don't need any distractions
Lucky man. My exs friends realllyyyyy wanted to rub it on my face. They kept sending me pictures trougth anonymous numbers pictures of her like blowing other guys, out drinking etc. Shes dating now, lowkey a downgrade and he looks like me like I used to be lol. Fat, now Im somewhat taller and fit lol she seriously downgraded.
@@theglobalistchannel1471 luckily I never really met her friends tbh, only together for a year, she's not a party girl but she loves attention on dating apps she's admitted to sleeping with someone else and on the night we was meant to reconnect and go for food she cancelled on me to go for drinks with her ex, and I know he stayed the night she denies it still but obviously know she's lying that was hard enough for me to take knowing we was so close to fixing things, like I said blocked and having a break from social media need to level up on the quiet and hopefully later down the road we cross paths and she sees what she missed out on, and the song " when you see my face hope it gives you hell" comes to mind 😜
@@theglobalistchannel1471 they are really messed up. Think of how much you dodged a bullet, in fact not just a bullet but a cannon ball if they really have to go out of their way to do that to you it just shows that you are worthy of someone even better
Hello Rory, the discord link here is expired it days, can I still join the community? I need it.
It took me 4 months and im finally feeling better. I still cry about it daily and she is still with her rebound. So she is beating all the odds and statistics saying rebounds dont last. She literally went out with the guy the same week she broke up with me and has been with him ever since. Happy as can be even though she has reached out 2 times in her relationship and been on the phone with me 3 hours total and told me she missed me. But obviously not enough. I think they will get married. At the very least she will get engaged this year. So all my nightmares are coming true.
Any updates?
No you had it right the first time. The inevitable.
It's just very devastated right now and it breaks my heart every time I think about it and I'll we were together for 2 years and we only live 30 seconds apart I mean that is a scumbag move I mean she has BPD How could somebody move in right away just like that that's not normal
Hey Anthony... I know it hurts right now... thats normal and your not alone. A big thing that helped me was differentiating between my ex and the fantasy/idealised version of my ex I had built up in my head. They are not the same people. Take this lady off the pedestal she is on. She doesnt belong up there. Take the focus from her and put it onto you. Its time to put yourself first. Go take up running, get fit, hit the gym, start journalling, lift weights, take up new hobbies, make more friends. Get after it. Let's not sit around feeling sad for weeks. Let's get after it. Time to focus on yourself. It gets better. Focus on you. You got this.
Yeah I appreciate your comment but still it's very devastated mean it breaks my heart we had plans for this year and I can't believe what was done to me I feel like I was stabbed multiple times not hard I can't believe she heal quicker than me
Rory, what about the discord link? It's not working?
discord.gg/8wQZ8VQh
Dear Rory, thanks for your amazing helpfull video's. Me and my turkish ex husband( having Belgium nationality)are devorced in Belgium for almost 2 years. We still have a very good connection with eachother. Now it turn out that for the turkish law we are still married. We both agree that we gonna devorce here in Turkey also. Law in Turkey is different than in Belgium. I still have a good connection with his family and im always welcome. Stiĺl now im here i feel like i have a relapse. It was so easy for me in Belgium, we both agree with the devorce. How come that now I'm here i have it so difficult. How is that possible? Here in Turkey we have to come for cort tomorrow because there is no other way. I just ask myself why it was so easy for me emotionaly in Belgium and here i feel like i go trough a second brake up. We were married for 10 years. I just wanna know why i have such bad feeling? With a lot of Greetings from Belgium/ Turkey.
Thank you for this video
What if my ex went back to her previous ex (we were together for 9 years)? She actually monkey branched to him when we were dating for 3 years (lasted 3 months) and stupid me took her back (happened in 2016). We have a 5 year old kid now and breakup happened in january this year. Thanks, Rory!
Thank you.
hey i need advice badly my ex started dating someone and told me and i ended up acting on my feelings and made them upset should i be in no contact or will they think less of me for how i acted?
one week after he broke up with me, he got into fwb relationship
What’s your thoughts on reaching out for a birthday to break NC if they reached out for yours a month ago
Don't reach out for their birthday. Only respond accordingly when they reach out to you.
Remain in no contact
Hi I got a question for everybody out there I just got out of a bad breakup about 2 months ago a couple of weeks go by she got back with an ex-husband from 20 years ago and got engaged on April 1st now is that considered a rebound what do you think will it work out between the both of them because since then she hasn't been living in her house and living with this crack pot anybody have the answer please let me know thank you
Yes, it sounds like a rebound. Rebounds are not likely to work but he may have been orbiting her while you two were having issues.
Use this time of no contact to process & lick your wounds then start living your life without her.
There's no guarantees that they will break up or of her coming back in future.
You do you
Discord link?
Even is she started dating a person immediately she slept with and was talking with even if we was in a relationship. Yes she cheated on me
Who ever shes with ....did you a massive favor : beta simps are as popular and as plentiful as poodles in a park....
Wow, great example of the mountain 💗⛰️
10:40-10:55 holy shit… it feels good to know that im not alone😞❤️🩹