How to be SUCCESSFUL in the face of narcissistic abuse
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- Опубліковано 4 жов 2024
- NORTH CAROLINA RETREAT
November 1-3, 2024
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
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Move silently. Don’t let them know your whereabouts. Gradually take the time to heal and recover. Rebuild your life. And keep the door shut, don’t let them back in.
Hello @NarcSurvivor. Have a wonderful blessed day. 🙏Stay strong. 💕💪
You are right.
Agree 100000% ... and doing so.
Stalkers/hackers make it hard to move silently.
A perfect marriage or relationship is an illusion; there's no universal playbook for making them work. What's effective for one couple may not apply to another. Nevertheless, I've come to understand that there's always a solution to be found. Half a decade ago, my wife and I faced such trials in our marriage that divorce seemed inevitable. Yet, through perseverance and determination, we navigated through the rough waters and emerged stronger, reunited, and more resilient
There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white..
This is helpful, I will look her up online right now...Thanks.
You wont regret it
How to succeed? Not giving a fuck about what narcissists do or say.
Edit: And carry a big stick for the narcissists who care about you not caring.
🙌🏼😆 yes but it’s so much easier said than done!
@@Dr.DorisTorres That's where you get your power. By disregarding them, even when they are insulting you. Treat them as you would some loser on the street who shouts out " hey, suck my dick". Are you going to argue with that person and give them credibility? Once you're done, you're done. Let them freak out..let them try to wrangle you back in when you they insult you so you keep them in when you are trying to defend yourself. It doesn't work. Let them spend the energy just like the loser on the street who insults you and has zero credibility.
A couple of days ago l sent my nephew a message.
His mother, who is a Malignant Narcissist, often invalidated him.
I prayed that one day when he grew up, he would make his way into my life.
My toxic sister controlled everyone within her clutches, and how they saw me.
I was the only sibling and the empath of the family unit who could see through her facade and evil hidden behind a veil of feigned innocence.
Fast forward 20 years and my prayers have been answered.
I have my nephew close to me..
knows he is loved, validated, simply because it is his birth right.
I tell him often so that he knows what authentic love and care should look like.
He has not escaped the damage of his upbringing so l educate him and bring him awareness.
Because we can't change what we don't acknowledge.
This video validated for me that I'm doing what l meant to do as an auntie.
I did my part as a auntie I baby sat from six am to six pm
Fir my brother in law it was never enough .....so I tried to work harder abd I didn't want him pubicaly embarrassed over my disability
Beautiful 😍 🎉
I wish I had someone like that 💗.
@@mac-ju5ot l understand, l too baby sat for long hours like yourself.
Let me say this, we baby sat because we love the children.
However, it is not our job and responsibility to have baby sat daily from morning to dawn.
Narcissists have children, but don't want to raise them.
Never beat yourself up and seek out to do more in order to be seen and validated.
Know your worth, and learn to implement boundaries.
It's taking care of you!
As you should...
Nurture your inner child.
Be your best supporter!
Those who derive their identity from 'success' are the same ones who can't sit still.. they can't get 'next to' themselves. It goes from a good work ethic to a frantic compulsion.
You are a legend, you have given me a super power. I will never forget your name. If I’m ever rich I’d send you millions.
I hope you can find balance Dr. Ramani.
You’ve left a body of work that would take years for survivors of toxic abuse to go through and experience the benefits from . . .
Hell yes! I have been belittled so much by the people who are called family that resting feels like a guilt trip to me. I even dislike holidays, as weekdays give me a sense of accomplishment, even if I do nothing.
Dr. Ramani, your videos have been a great source of strength. Thank you for doing this. Without you, I would have been stuck in the loop forever.
Narcissistic relationship are always conditional love and dead end one way transactional relationship. I am frustrated by such expectation and that is my battle. Some of my toxic family members and toxic people, I come across at work and life in general are my tests in this miserable life. I promise my inner child, I will do my best to protect her and my children, even by educating them . Thank you Dr. Ramani. 🙏🌹♥😎
I'm a therapist and one of the ways we explain the difference between (automatic) core beliefs/thoughts and more realistic, helpful thoughts is via the metafor of coach A and B (supportive motivation, not generalising, acknowledging that perfection is not sustainable but learning is of course possible the player wants it, and that enjoying the game and process is very valuable). And the mental, physical & behavioral effects it has on the athlete on the field and off.
I am glad that I spotted my mother’s moving of the goal posts and dragging that carrot seemingly fast.
For the family business website I’d built, which I wasn’t earning any money from and had built for my parents anyway, I redesigned the look of the site. I knew my mother well enough to know her style and what she would like. But, I could tell that when she looked at it, amongst other things she was doing, she wasn’t happy with it. Not because she didn’t necessarily like it. But, because I did something she could not. It was more important to her, for me to keep slaving, being told I wasn’t quite hitting the note and never getting approval. As I’m not one to take the Sisyphean path and do that which is thankless, I dropped it entirely.
This is 💯 my experience with family and relationships. I have always worked hard and got back up after being knocked down. Yet when trauma caught up with me, and I had to take a break to take care of myself, I was shamed blamed neglected ignored abused and criticized by them. It was shocking and beyond hurtful. I fortunately have got my health and strength back, and I now work hard but with a healthy balance for ME, regardless of them, and in fact despite them! So I no longer look for their approval as I know I won’t get it no matter what. Nothing is ever good enough nor right for them. I do what’s best for me and keep healthy boundaries for myself. They can get lost if they don’t approve. I approve of ME! Thank you Dr Ramani ❤
It was very hard for me to start succeeding professionally and it's something I'm still struggling with. What helped me was beginning to listen to myself and follow my heart. It also helped that my father supported me, and above all, that it was the main piece of my escape plan and my future. You helped me too Dr. Ramani when you told me I was handling the case I presented to you beautifully. You showed me I could. I can't thank you enough.
Looking back to what I did wrong. Instead of what I am doing right! I worked my butt off an got nowhere financially. In the narc family was hard work. My brother the athletic of the family my narc father pro football player in mid 50s -Brother football scholarship to college and quit. Became no good and worthless. It’s hard to reprogram that narcissistic up bringing!!! Ty for sharing Dr Ramani💫
Once again, Doctor Ramani, I feel seen and called out at the same time. Thank you for this insightful video. I grew up in a narcissistic family system, and success was both the price of love and the tool for control, because the definition of success was ever shifting, and lack of success was used as an excuse for maltreatment. I have struggled with "success" and feelings of never being enough and feeling that I had to earn love for my entire life. Past the mid-century mark, I am working to redefine what success and being enough mean to me.
My poor husband has been telling me for 20+ years that I don't have to "earn" everything. It is very hard to break this habit. Surprisingly, what has been very healing for me was caring for my father during his final years. As there was less and less I could do for him, my focused shifted to just being with him - accompanying him through the end of his life. I got so much happiness just from being with him, without "accomplishing" anything that it enriched my life and made my relationships with my husband and children better. Before, I focused too much on always trying to do more, but in the end it was just being that mattered. I don't miss the things I used to do with my father. I just miss his presence.
Thank you. That is very insightful and moving. I miss my father’s presence too.
I can relate to what you have said in so many ways. Being raised by narcisistic parents and growing up surrounded by narcisistic family and their enablers is a lifetime challenge and it changes the ways in which you look at the world and people. We are traumatised from the earliest years of our life and it changes us profoundly, we can only find compassionate understanding with those who have experienced it as well. Sometimes without saying even one word. Thank you so much dr Ramani ❤
My family of origin were looking after one person...themselves ........the rest of us were treated like trash.
I tried all my life to get my mother's approval. Never got it. Did so well in my working life. Whatever i did i excelled. She never gave any approval
No contact since March 2013. Working hard at leaving perfectionism prison. She lives in my head often. I work way too hard and don't know how to rest
"There's always that fear that the minute I let up on the throttle and have some balance this whole plane is gonna crash."
oh. OH! That's what it is. That's what I'm straight into the middle of. Thank you Doctor, for always putting words on what I could never voice.
My father never told me he was proud of me or he loved me. Thanks to Dr. Ramani, I know why now. Thanks to a bad lifestyle, he's gone now.
Thanks, Dr. Ramani. 💜 This is one of your best videos! The over-achieving, never good enough from a toxic family, that's me. In the past I have worked myself to exhaustion because only when I am producing do I feel safe. I wonder if I would have achieved as much if I weren't from a narcissistic family. I needed outside validation from accomplishments to feel okay. The over-functioning driving yourself into the ground is a trap.
Thank you so very much for your on point view of what we have or are going through. You have a wonderful impact and I hope that one day I will be able to help others as well.
Doctor Ramani. Thank you. What a beautiful explanation and presentation. I appreciate you.
Thanks so much for caring Dr. Ramani.
OMG!!! Thank you so much Dr Ramani. I do relate. It’s getting easier to relax and exhale the more that I heal, and more importantly as I stay away from toxic people.
I understand what your message means in that video Dr.Ramini of that never enoughness..
.that holy grail that isn't attainable
Its imprinted on our souls no matter how well we achieve or how well we exceed because we yearn for what we never received as children & as adults....i could name endless lists of my surviving skills...an endless authentic gratitude list to you on the many ways you support myself & thousands in this community & i know it still isn't going to grant you that unreachable holy grail that you & your community of survivors will continue to strive towards for the rest of our lives
Narcissistic abuse sears through your soul....we can heal & ease up under your guiding wisdom & a good trauma focused therapists
Excellent analogy thank you DrRamini ❤
you described my life to a tee. Everything I did was so I would be "seen" and loved by my family but now I realize that only made them resent me more. I am now retired. This might explain why the only time I have peace is when I am working in my back garden (not the front) which I jokingly call my secret garden since no one else ever gets to see it but me. As you might guess as an overachiever, it is huge.
I’ve never considered myself high achieving or a perfectionist, I never went back to complete my degree after a medical leave, but while in school I excelled in my classes despite a later ADHD diagnosis. I needed that recognition from my teachers. In various customer service jobs I sought approval and recognition from my managers and over the years accepted supervisory promotions with maybe a quarter raise that I absolutely HATED because of that.
I came from a toxic family of origin. I study lifespan development. I see how the critical needs were missed at different ages. There was also a lot of negative modeling. I learned this in high school as all my friends had households of positive regard. They still do. I'm learning. I had no idea how relationships worked for real. I'm guilty of narcissistic traits when I was addicted to alcohol. They've gone down. Now dealing with anxious attachment. I'm getting there. I date someone who came from narcissistic abuse. I was worried about triggers a lot because they came out. Mine did too. I miss her dearly but it could not work. Anxious attachment was too much for her.
Good Afternoon Dr Ramani ❤
My parents are my unconditional love and support. I unfortunately was targeted in 1990 love bombed, and endured every glossary of a demonic 👿 narcissist Melford Morris, ex husband. My sympathic nervous system is still a mush mess, and it my parents who takes care of me after being dumped/discared in 2003. Thank you Dr. Ramani for your videos, as i use to show my parents the hell i endured and growing more and more in strength. Power Persevering in Prayers Psalms 1-150🇯🇲👑🙌🙏😇❤
I’m 29 and feel like the worlds biggest failure. I didn’t reach any of my goals in my 20s… I did get a degree but my grade wasn’t the best - so there’s that. But I spent most of my 20s figuring out what was wrong with me and dissecting and healing from the narcissistic abuse. So hopefully my 30s will be better (and more successful).
Doctor, could you please make more videos about this subject, going deeper in those behaviors we have in workplaces that are related to childhood traumas?
I feel so f-ing seen. I work so hard and in this economy, my partner and I are getting nowhere. But I work from home, with a chronic disease, am successful at my job, and keep the apartment up and running, all while I feel like 💩. Then my brain tells me I'm worthless and haven't done enough. Why can't we afford more and better? But the economy is crap. I have chronic health issues. I have an amazing supportive partner. We have the building blocks to do better. Just got to keep slowly chipping away.
I’m no psychologist, but you need to remap that brain. HHHOW are you self-blaming like that, when you already know the economy is a steamy pile??? You’re doing a whole lot, with less. DO NOT allow yourself or others to make you feel you’re not doing enough. You’re doing what you can and doing well at it. Think about all of the people who aren’t doing anything and there’s aplenty. They do nothing for themselves and expect everyone to do everything for them. They don’t even try to mitigate their own circumstances. So, rest easy on that. These are very painful times and you are not alone!❤
@@rcatablet2984 wut?
@@privateprivate8366 oh. I agree I need to remap Dat brain. Currently working on it. Realizing and accepting it is an issue are my 1st steps. Making a game plan right now on how to treat myself better.
When I had a father tell me I was no good doing chores as a teenager and changed his expectations daily, so I was never good, and i couldn't get out of that situation, the brain naturally starts telling itself that after a while, unfortunately. I'm waking up now. Working on telling myself how awesome and how much I do. Silencing the nagging voice that says I don't do enough. It's a process
@@rcatablet2984 and if you think I'm saying I support Trump, that's all on you. I never said those words. He's a terrible man. But the economy is terrible for the working class. That's just a fact. It's amazing if you have a trust fund or lucked out in life, but not for people who work every day. And nobody running is going to fix that. Our system is too broken.
Politics shouldn't be in a narrcist education vid always one or 2 lol
I just finished Ina Garten’s memoir and thought about how often many of us make it in SPITE of having parents who just never should’ve been parents. Her parents were downright hateful. Mine loved me the best way they could, which wasn’t the right way.
Good morning! 😊
Great video, Dr. Ramani!
Music reaches deep inside the soul. "Stronger Than Before" - (by Janny Grein).... I cried through this entire song the first time I heard it. It is so healing, strengthening and encouraging and I hope it touches the heart of someone else who may need it. ❤️ ( Edited name spelling correction! 🙂)
Never being valued for just being myself is a big life theme in my case. I feel as if I need to be generous and do things for people just to be accepted. Of course, this rarely has the right impact because the people who hang around are so willing to use a person like this.
It's like chasing the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. At the moment I'm trying to stop my perfectionism in small ways, like with the housework. Amazingly the place looks just as good! I waste less time, and the angst of perfectionism, at least in those tasks, is diminished. I'm also trying to build a stronger sense of purpose within myself by spending time with myself-- instead of my to do list. The 'outside' narc-foo becomes less important then, as I build my inside self.
Me!! Thank you Dr.Ramani❤!
Me too. You are enough. ❤
Something to share with your kids to help them build awareness of not only own family systems but other families your kids are friends with. My ultimate goal is to help my daughter pause and recognize toxic patterns so that she can make her own decisions without fear of being cast out for not conforming with other people expectations. I'm praying to succeed in gifting her tools to navigate healthy future.
G'day Dr Ramani.🐨
This is profound sharing! You are a phenomenal therapist. Thank you, I see it. ❤
They will never be happy and you will never be good enough in their eye.
You must do it for you and you only.
I cannot thank you so much for this dissection of family dynamics of narcissistic family systems, thanks to your books n videos, I realised it was not me, my worth was not defined by my career or job
My father was dutch my mother indian. My father was a workaholic. My mother was a farm wife. They were good parents but it was all about working all the time. Now that im older i crave spiritual nourishment. I can only get that through the church not my parents. Life is all about love. The money will follow. Keep it balanced! 🙏🏼
For my mom it was never enough and not good. I could do better ,I went no contact at 53 never too late to get rid of an abuser
Dr. Ramani thank you for sharing this topic with a brilliantly insightful description. This is very helpful. ❤️
@DoctorRamani, this is your best video yet !
I've gotta get it done just to spite them all at this point.
Yep this is me. And sadly others outside our family system can pick this up about us. If we stop overproducing or overachieving and live more in balance, some will actually treat us like we’re slacking even if it’s a healthy normal for anyone else.
One thing I experienced and noticed throughout the course of my life is that narcissist's successfulness and achievement rate in their life it's mostly due to "use and discard" tactic, and if the abused keeps silent afraid of being called crazy or unaware, it's a plus for them, they will keep doing it, fake " _thank yous_ ", no genuine appreciation, very rarely is by their own merit or hardwork.
Speaking for myself, I had to deprrogram my mind to stop working too hard in order to find live. I'm happier now.
Thank you so much! This spoke to my situation so specifically. ❤
Thank you so much Dr Ramani.
Omg that 2x2 grid is EXACTLY how my brain works… I did something similar. I made a timeline of what my life would’ve looked like if I had supportive parents, and then the timeline of my actual life. Then I decided everything I would need to do now to heal from my past experiences so and what skills/needs I need to meet myself by parenting myself so I can “switch” over to the other imaginary timeline where I had good enough parents. Probably sounds crazy af 😂😂😂
I HAVE BEEN ASKING THIS FOREVER AND ITS SO MANY WORDS TO USE I COULD NOT FIND MUCH ABOUT IT / YOU WORDED IT PERFECTLY I WAS BEING SPECIFIC LIKE HOW TO HELP YOURSELF DO MORE POSITIVE IN THE EVENT OF BEING OR LIVING WITH THEM THAT SET ONE BACK LIKE A FOREVER LOOP OF A CATCH 22…
It's weirdly true that when you stop doing something, a whole bunch of people will, indeed, forget about you. Else if you see them still they'll not stop taking the opportunity to needle you about what you're not doing in the form of leading questions, fake and in any case unnecessary sympathy/pity for not still being involved.
Yes and Thank you again. This has been helpfull. But also confronting with a C, and yet soothing.
My lasagna is cold now..
😁❤️
I really need to watch this video. Thank you.
At this point can you read my mind
Sometimes excellence is an exit strategy. We already know people to whom we ought to be important don't care.
Wow…this hit me hard. So true ❤
I became a little like this, but due to a bunch of factors never succeeded. Though I think it applies to more than just families; I think we live in a world built by narcissists for narcissists. To be important, respected, or loved, you have to succeed, but not for yourself. Does anyone without a personal attachment to you care if you just succeeded at kicking an unhealthy habit or addiction, overcoming severe psychological trauma, or mastered a skill used only for recreation? NOPE! You have to succeed at skills that people or organisations can make use of; you have to succeed in proving your worth to others, because your "worth" in society at large is determined exclusively by what others can extract from you. Once the chicken stops laying, it's off to the chopping block, so we are instilled with this need to constantly prove ourselves, to seek more and more validation, especially as we're encouraged to tie the validity of our identities, even our lives themselves to our transactional usage. We always have to be skilled, be committed, be productive, but never just "be," so we all get that bit of narcissistic insecurity because that's how the world, especially in the modern day is set-up. Because of this, we all try to force ourselves into this mould, to be tryhards who grasp frantically for any scrap of validation as if it were food in a famine, to become obsessive perfectionists who fetishise capability and scorn mediocrity or disability, and to become shallow materialists who assign one's validity as a person to the assets they have or represent; we tell ourselves to seek out conflict so we can prove our superiority in victory because we need to be ashamed of self-preservation, and at the same time we know we MUST win because there's almost as much shame in being defeated and proven lesser, hence the words "coward" and "loser" being universally negative.
We're all instilled by society with the crippling shame of never being good enough in a world where good enough isn't good enough.
Failing tp achieve can be the other side of the same coin: either straightforwardly burning out or just the utter demoralised "what's the point of even trying" of knowing that no matter what you do, you can never win, only ever lose. If nothing you do will ever be good enough, what's the point of even trying? Acceptance of futility is just as much of a trap as the mistaken belief you will 'win them over'.
So true. It's killing me too.
No matter what we do, we seem to be outnumbered by the narcissists and enablers and will never be seen as anything but a door mat for supply. Narcissists and their flying monkeys spend all of their time watching every move we make to stop our success and we spend our time dreaming up ways to get away from them. One big circle. The narcissists skulk around and we can’t tell they are there just by looking. It takes a while.
Most help ful . Thankyou
I failed my studies bc of my narcissistic mum and brother, and I have never succeeded in life and now I have so many health issues (physical and psychological) that I can’t even worked anymore bc of all the pain ! So now I’m dependent on my family bc I can’t work anymore… 😢
I just came across a Reddit forum this morning where "Only Narcs and NPDs may submit posts." For some reason (haha) Dr Ramani and Dr Les Carter aren't well liked people there. 😆😆
read a post on MSN this morning about not labeling narcs as narcs and it sounded like a flying monkey or a narc wrote it. smh
@@RobinSpeer
It likely was. 🐒🪽
Lol, I can’t imagine why. 😏
@@RobinSpeer Oh, the poor abused Narkys.
Thank you x
🥺 This... I resonate.
I work for a narcissist and recently accepted a job that doubles my salary and also got her in trouble with her boss. Not sure how i will be breaking the news to them yet. Keep your head up 🎉
I love her
What about the Scapegoat Child who tries really hard to find success and works hard, but nothing ever works because the Scapegoat cannot seem to get their act together or even find what he/she is good at?I thought I did all the right things...worked hard...went to college and then my life just went left and now I can barely get by financially and through the day!😢
My parents control me since I decided to come back amidst COVID. They say they want me to be independent yet I believe they are lying. Want me to come to them when making decisions so have no autonomy. Not the way I want to live life. Real life isn’t staying with the parents for many years, it is living apart from them.
Because they don’t want me to drive then I don’t get to, sad but true even though I have my license. Other things like that means I will probably be stuck with them for many years, however if I get to go to school again (practical college) then I won’t come back. I have learned my lesson.
Oh and I believe I am the scapegoat of the family (truth teller). My younger sibling is the golden child, even though I am not sure they know. I plan to tell them when I get out of the family home. Since, then if the parents retaliate I don’t have to pay attention.
You just get it
Good topic
I remember asking you in your online class. Why you work so hard? I feel good you exspored why. I bet you can figure out any family within 20 minutes.
Oh, 5 maybe. Gotcha.
When I say I clicked on this video like my rent was due ☠️😅
I am honestly not sure those fears of being forgotten are "irrational"
Hey so I'm just guessing right now off the little research I've done, I feel like my brother in-law somewhat fits this category. For me it started in 2019 my sister has been put in hospitals 3 times total and I was there for the last 2. The first time I heard was pretty bad Noone told me I had my own problems I was dealing with in addiction at the time. All I know from her first episode was she had gotten sick and was in the hospital for a week and not long after her and her family just came back to town she apparently just took the kids out of school went to her husband's work and said they needed to leave right now and they did. When I seen her for the first time she didn't even know who I was and didn't remember anything about what happened to her. The second time I was there also the 3rd time and it broke my heart to see her in the state she was in. I believed when her husband told me it was skitzaphrenic and she was in psychosis I believed him and I was there for them no matter what it was to make sure she wasn't under any kind of stress or anything. When covid hit hard I feel like it was just a good excuse for her to isolate herself even more than she had been. After the 3rd episode and her coming back from the hospital she and her family moved in to my mother's where I had been for awhile already everything was fine I thought for awhile but then I started noticing her husband doing really strange things which I'd say something and first they would say I'm crazy then eventually if you say anything it's them start screaming at my mother and I they would lay into her saying she don't care about my sister. He kept talking about this was his house which I didn't think anything of. The tension kept building and the gaslighting I think is the term is wouldn't stop my own niece and nephew who I was very close with few months prior started calling me crazy and I need help. After a few months of the arguments and trying to convince me I was crazy they started calling the cops or it was the mental health people who brought police with them for involuntary admittance but it wasn't working I feel like they really started trying to set me up to do something stupid eventually I did I was arrested recently and I don't wanna shift blame from what I did it was stupid but I feel like they both set me up to do it they both new everything about me new with the tension and how I told my sister his behaviors I've seen before in people and how two people ended up dead from a guy I new who acted the same way. 2 days prior to the night of.my arrest he makes sure I see him flipping a hammer in his han mean mugging then sets it down where he smokes at. Still awhile lot more things left out but my question and concerns besides I could end up in prison potentially from this my main worry is my sister and the kids. I know after seeing all the lies my sister and her husband made up about me and how the kids feel about me now I know I'll never be able to have my family back but but I'm worried about my sister having another episode and not having anyone to help and I don't at all believe she is skitzaphrenic anymore looking back now I believe whatever it was came from years of him beating her down inside. I know the doubt I have in myself and trust issues I have in others is alot worse after only 5 or 6 months of dealing with it. I don't think it's over is my concern I don't know why I even care at this point but it's family and I do they moved out and I can't have contact but the reports I've read after the incident and all the lies they have said I feel like it's a game for them and it's sick to me idk if they believe what they say but all the reports don't add up they tell them different. They are both alot smarter than me but it's like they are trying to hard and to me seems really childish how they word alot of it. If not that then he really sounds like he's writing a novel or something. Does it ever just end with someone like that or does it all start to just shift back to my sister I don't know who could help me and answer questions about this any recommendations on how or who to talk to would be great thank you
❤
If you want someone to ne able to.function more properly and is of Value to some other things or just from our shared humanity's perspective, you dont wait untill someone is near exhaustion even though i can heal fast under certain conditions imcluding some basic needs being met. At the least.
You dont know the entire story and if it does or does not look appropite according to standards that are not even relenvant at this moment due to some urrgency!
Enough is enough.
So at this current moment iny situation at this specific point in time and space ,i am being hinest and opem.about it and have the right amd valid reasons to do so.
Because i am also worth it!
❤❤
I want to go no contact with everyone in my family, and I can’t, I’m trapped. I have bipolar disorder and I’m on disability and I just feel like the hell with all of it and I just want to get a job. They don’t care at all anymore if I make a suicide attempt, or if I have to deal with horrible psychiatrists on psychiatric wards, they always want me to shut up and tell me I’m bothering them and that I talk too loud, and that I play music too loud even though it really isn’t that loud if you ask me, but none of them like me and they all yell at me that I’m too lazy and I’m too sensitive. I just tried to get an apartment to have my own space but I can’t get it, my income isn’t high enough. My husband who was my best friend died last December and I just don’t have anyone who is very supportive towards me anymore. I feel like my family wants me dead. I don’t want to go out by making a suicide attempt because I know how sad that is when people do that, but I could become homeless and I just can’t take all of this hate that I get from people. My elderly parents are terrible and I really don’t love them anymore. They are demanding and they want me to be a maid to them and do all kinds of things for them and they seem to think I was born to serve them. There’s no escape. I always feel like I want to run away and there’s nowhere to go. I hardly have any friends either, a lot of them just leave. I don’t care about therapy anymore, why am zI paying someone to talk to them? Tired of never measuring up and people putting me down. I always have to suffer.
What about all of us survivors of narcissistic parents who have no ambition or drive to succeed at all? We just work really hard at a job with no future, except more of that job. Not complaining. It's fun to disappoint my mother. 😂
30th, 3 October 2024
here's some advice for the doc, go to Huntington Gardens, ask where the giant lily pads are. (; get lunch
Cool
What if the work environment projects a healthy, supportive environment, yet fail to deliver on this premise.
i am groot
How about there is a aspiration, but you refuse to share it with other like-minded individuals as they fail to see the potentials, underestimate some actions and further put you in a box and transpose their wishes on you. Specially in the work-related environment and those who assume authority and dictate people's next move...
Do you have anything on dealing with teens when they sound just like the narcissist in your life? I know there is a difference between being an adolescent and having an antagonistic personality style. But, I neither want to be a pushover nor do I want to enact the anger I feel towards actual narcissists on someone who is still a child. Finding the middle path is tricky!
Can someone in the comments give advice?
I broke free from my narcissistic mother several years ago, but my father is still her punching bag. My relationship with him is a secret because he doesn’t want to anger her. I want to visit him while in his town but afraid he won’t come- he says he will but he’s so beat down by her. Advice?
You didn’t explain what to do, which means the title was misleading
So many pennies dropping right now 😮❤
Oh my ex boss was a total natc ..so wasnt his wife. I just took a tour if their new mc mandion .its nice but its not me. He was big on perfection...all that goitters us not gold