41 Dad Jokes in 4 Minutes! (with special guest star...)
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- Опубліковано 27 сер 2024
- Thank you to all of the dads who have made so many wonderful dad jokes over the years, many of which I stole for this video. There is a partial list of sources below!
Thanks everyone for your kind wishes during paternity leave. It's been intense and wonderful. I am glad I had a joyful way to return to this channel even though there's a lot to be concerned about in the world and my country right now. I really love making these videos, and I am very lucky to have this thing in my life.
If you're able and interested, John and I will be having many fun times at NerdCon: Nerdfighteria in Boston, February 25th and 26th. www.nerdconnerd...
I just found out I was dating a communist.
/ i_just_found_out_i_was...
Father Figure
/ why_call_it_a_dad_bod
I can saw wood just by looking at it
/ good_one_from_my_dad_i...
I wear my leather shoes when I’m sneaking around because they’re MADE of hide.
/ leather_armor_is_perfe...
Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of boats?
/ why_do_scuba_divers_al...
I love how the earth rotates, it really makes my day.
/ i_love_how_the_earth_r...
Tupperware? Tupperhere!
/ even_when_hes_alone
You know where you get chicken broth in bulk?
The stock market.
/ dad_joke_on_thanksgiving
“How long is dinner going to be?”
/ today_my_dad_was_makin...
Oh boiling water...you will be mist!
/ rip_boiling_water_you_...
Good Morning, how’d you sleep?
/ how_did_you_sleep
What book are you reading?
/ i_asked_my_girlfriend_...
Why won’t you untangle!
/ wife_yelling_at_earbud...
Orion’s belt is a huge waste of space
/ orions_belt_is_a_huge_...
What do you get when you divide a poop into three pieces
/ what_do_you_get_when_y...
How many sides does a circle have?
/ how_many_sides_does_a_...
Huh...there’s a hole in my shoe…
ME TOO! It’s how I get my foot inside!
Jean Jacket
www.reddit.com...
HILL AREAS!!
/ mountains_arent_just_f...
Will Smith
/ how_do_you_find_will_s...
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Help transcribe videos - nerdfighteria.info
John's twitter - / johngreen
John's tumblr - / fishingboatproceeds
Hank's twitter - / hankgreen
Hank's tumblr - / edwardspoonhands
I don't always tell dad jokes... but when I do he laughs.
Oh no, Dad Jokes!. Yes, yes he does.
ShawstinAu vlogbrothers liked tis.
Semantic ambiguity!
This is so great. Welcome back, Hank! -John
Hank-John, the middle child.
Bantha Worship no, that's Dave
vlogbrothers Didn't john speak to hank via text (emails are the exception) and has to do a punishment ? PUNISHMENT
alice li
There was another. It was just hard to tell because everyone always thought they were referring to Hank or John. But no, they meant Hank-John.
Their middle-brother that we never talk about? Yeah he was always a wildcard.
Hank holding up his infant and going “this is my baby,” has real “I made this,” energy.
ITS A HANKLING
chαnnel zero +
chαnnel zero +
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I've got a hankling for some barbecue...
chαnnel zero +
When you tell your son, "okay, I'm taking you to mom", that's the thing that makes you a dad more than any other! LOL
Forcemaster2000 +
I know right lol
The good news is while I had him in there mom got to go on a nice long walk by herself, which was I think the first time that's happened for months.
Love dragon ball z? buy g mo skee my filthy spirit bomb help him go platinum hurry! much love thank you.
How are you finding it being new parents?
Just in case I ever make one of these again...what jokes should I include?
Why do crabs never give to charity? Because they're shellfish.
vlogbrothers Shödingers cat crossed the road... And didn't
The Hand Eye Coordination one and the Turds one because you seemed to actually genuinely laugh at that one
-ALSO YOUR BABY IS SO CUTE-
When life gets you down, make a comforter.
When a mushroom was denied entrance to a dance club, the mushroom protested with, "But I'm a fun guy!"
Kid: DAD, where are we going?
Dad: CRAAAAZY!
My dad makes that joke literally every time we ask that question
"I can't wait for the day when my son says, dad I think I have your sense of humor, so I can respond by saying, YOU GIVE THAT BACK!"
I'm surprised my dad never thought of that one.
-So why did Adele cross the street?
-To say Hello from the other side.
Best dad joke ever!
BAM!
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Stealing that one!
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jajceboy +
Quite possibly my favorite Vlogbrothers video ever. Congrats on your new dadhood, Hank. Also - Orin is easily one of the cutest things I've ever seen. Congrats on that too.
woah, didn't know you watched vlog brothers Hi kayla!
lilsimsie i agree, hank+dadjokes=life
Also i love your vids:)
lilsimsie Hi Kayla!!!!
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I showed this video to my dad who is a huge proponent of dad jokes, and he reminded me that "we have to study. It's not as easy as that". So bravo, Hank. You are a hard working dad
FRESH PRINTS XD
Christine! I love your videos!
polandbananasBOOKS Merry Christmas Christine :)
Hello Xtinemay
polandbananasBOOKS hello 😊
Hi
I make dad jokes all the time despite not being a dad. Does this make me an imPOPster?
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End this
Master Therion leave
Master Therion +
It took me a minute to realize that he started making dad jokes and wasn't just being himself.
Congratulations to Katherine for pushing out such a cutie-pie.
Hank has all the essentials of fatherhood: the son, the bod, the jokes, and the scatting.
No points for the impersonation; it was Obaminable. Sorry, Hank, you only get one chance at a first impression.
Father figure
HEY EVERYONE TWO QUESTIONS
1) do you have mass?
2)do you take up space?
IF YOU SAID YES TO BOTH QUESTIONS YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS
YOU MATTER
you are the definition o matter
Ok that's it happy holidays carry on
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SINCE WHEN DOES MATTER HAVE TO TAKE UP SPACE
yeah I have mass but I dont have enough volume.
OKAY THIS IS BETTER
the way hank is acting here is so adorable.
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He's always adorable actually.
Hank has a cute little potato
He is actually a pretty big potato.
I thought so too ^^'
Deebo Molina so adorable
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aww that was so sweet. baby looks so cute.
For some reason Elephant jokes were my Mom's favorite.
example: Why do Elephants paint their toenails red?
So they can hide in cherry trees.
+Gamesman01 A solid 10% of what I learned in college was elephant jokes...
Did you go to U of Maine?
What? You don't believe me? Well, have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? No?
See how well that camofloge works!
I'm always impressed that most of Hank's jokes I haven't heard before.
I'm a bit of a joke aficionado...
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Brynley Louise I just heard the Will Smith one earlier this evening :)
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Congratulations. May he grow up to be as good as his dad!
And as successful!
SciAm14 May he live long and prosper.
SciAm14 Tbh, I want him to grow up more to be like John.
SciAm14
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SciAm14 +
Hehe Hank: "OK, we're gonna take you to Mommy." Baby: "NOOOO I wanna be a UA-camr tooooo!"
Pantry Hank kind of creeps me out haha
Matt Earles I'm so glad someone appreciated that I was just standing there in my little pantry for that shot.
This is a man that has not slept in days XD
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Mouse GrayEagle +
Savannah Reynolds Mouse GrayEagle +
Mouse GrayEagle +
Mouse GrayEagle +
Hank, here are some dad jokes for ya:
- Why is it so hard for melons to get married? Because they
Cant-eloupe!
-Ya know, I never knew I was colorblind, it just came out of the purple.
-What do you hear when a sheep, a drum set, and a snake fall out of an airplane? Baa Dum Tsss
Thank you and goodnight.
If melons can't-eloupe, then they _insist_ on getting married, rather than just running away together and "living in sin".
Nillie
its just a joke.
Rylee Watson +
YES! Now I have even more jokes to annoy people with!
OH MY GOSH ORIN GREEN YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL POTATO
Congratulations Hank on becoming a dad and Katherine on becoming a mom! I hope you guys have a great holiday season and new year.
Hank has had these prepared for a loooooong time. He was just waiting for the kid (who is AN ADORABLE LIL NUGGET).
IKR Y'ALL
IT'S A REAL LIFE HUMAN BABY CHILD HANK
I KNOW IT'S SO WEIRD
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"This is my baby"
good gravy, somebody ate their Wheaties
+sweetboo1022 Frosted Mini Spooners, actually.
vlogbrothers Merry Everything to both of you. You always brighter. my days
sweetboo1022 guuyggughcbb hi know.lnihft bi nkmy💩🤖👻🤒💅🏾👄👰👰👳🏻👴🏼👖💄💋 👔👚👨👩👧🙇👯💃🏽👨👨👧🙍👩👩👧👧👩❤️👩
sweetboo1022
sweetboo1022
I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!!! ORIN IS SO CUTE!!!! I'M SORRY FOR ALL CAPS, BUT I'M JUST SO EXCITED!!!!
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Waterflame +
can't..... resist...tHE..... CAPS!!
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I forgive the terrible dad jokes because the baby is cute.
eustacia03 I still cracked at.. hand eyeeeeeee
eustacia03 ofcourse it's cute, it's a baby
eustacia03 you can't ever tell somebody that their baby isn't cute or atleast you're not supposed to
Hank is why I unsubbed. There's a reason why parents have favorites.
+projenna
wierd. Hank was always my favorite of the two. Guess some personalities just don't mix, even if youtube videos are mostly just a one sided conversation.
Does anyone feel embarrassed for laughing at the turds joke? Cuz I do.
It's past 2AM when I watched this, everyone is asleep in the house, and I lost it at the turds joke: I let out a really loud "HA!" And I had to pause the video to try to laugh silently.
I lost it really good @ the Whitney Houston 'hand eye' performance.
I don't consider those dad joke. I just consider them jokes.
And congratulations.
highdough
Exactly what I thought.
highdough Hi Dad.
highdough Then you must be the Dad.
So there he is - the luckiest kid on Earth. Congrats, Hank, and Merry Christmas and all that.
kcthewanderer +
Luana Castro :)
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So many dad jokes that my cheeks hurt from smiling and my sides hurt from groaning.
YES!
Adorable baby has a lot of dad jokes to (dread) look forward to when he has the ability to comprehend human speech.
This is my favourite vlogbrothers video of all time. Congratulations on fatherhood Hank!!
My mum is the one in charge of telling dad jokes, and I think she'd love these! Her favourite joke to make is this, though it makes more sense in Malay. We say "oh, mak kau!" ("oh, your mum!" roughly in English) as an exclamation of shock, and without missing a beat, she'll say, "But your mum is me!" *face palm*
When is the best time for a dentist appointment? Two thirty!
Get it? Tooth hurty? Two thirty? I'll see myself out... I'm not a dad...
That joke was a Nyt Mare.
Aditya Khanna Ohh! Yeah I suck at puns but my moms a dentist so I'll tell you mo' later
Get it? Kinda like molar? Yeah I know doesn't work but whatever I'll see my self out
I've been to the dentist a thousand times, so I know the drill.
(Credit: Owl City)
"Excellent, Dave will have the steak."
That killed me XD
It's honestly so crazy to see someone I've grown up watching and have had my world view shaped by bring new life into this world and become a dad. Congrats, Hank & Katherine! Orin is definitely in good hands :)
oh my god just adopt me already
Coming from a family with an absentee dad in later years, I feel like I missed out on dad jokes but possibly this video just made up for it. XD
thewinterizzy feel you. best dad Joke mine ever made?
" I'm sober."
x
Gothmummi xD
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Vampyricon
sexy
Hell, I had a father for all my life but he basically has no sense of humour whatsoever. that's possibly even worse.
1 second shy of the limit. Dude knows what he's doing.
Ten years of four minute time limits will do that!
@@vlogbrothers you definitely know what you're in four.
The return of in under 4 minutes! Nice to have you back, Hank.
Ugh, the cuteness! Congratulations, Hank and Katherine!
Gotta have a pun jokes battle with Ryan Higa
Walkin'Cat no Evan edinger
Omg. Baby! He's so cute! And it's so great to have you back, Hank.
wow the only dad joke my dad made was me saying "dad iam bored"......"hi bored iam dad"
Winter Rose if only we knew who this "iam" guy was
I think it was a fake name to get ahead of Ian on the attendance sheet.
Hello, yes I am a dad.
I do this all the time with my kids, but the most common one for us is when they say, "Dad, I'm hungry." and I say, "Hi hungry, I'm dad!". That never gets old! 😁
You are so qualified for these dad jokes. And Orin is so cute!!
The joke videos were the very first videos I ever watched of you guys, and I saw them in a time in my life when I really needed them. Much like I needed this video today. Thank you Hank, congrats to both you and Katherine on the birth of your son, and DFTBA
I guess they were probably my firsts too
Same! This is adorably full-circle.
Same here, I watched the 54 jokes one
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My heart!!
Also, did you go out to specifically get a fish balloon for the video, or is that something you've got just kicking around? I'm aware I may go my life not knowing the answer to this question, just know I will ponder it for the rest of my days. *Walks away mumbling "Dave... where did you come from? Does your fishy family miss you..." under her breath* xx
+Hailey Wright (MakeupbyHailey) It's actually DAVE GREEN
I remember there was a fish balloon during the Project For Awesome livestream, I don't know if this is the same balloon.
Hailey Wright aw. I hope hank answers you lol
yes it's dave the fish an ornament from the project for awesome.
Replayed the orin part so many times :D so cute!
YES!!!!
the orin part? is that the child's unfortunate name? btw, all that crying is clearly fake, he edited it all in at the end. the sound profile of it makes no sense coming from the direction the baby was in. Sorry for boring you, my career is in movie editing and videography :P
I love how you suddenly look like John now that you are a father.
Hank found Waldo!
Also, I think Hank has inspired a plethora of Millenials who were previously on the fence to become parents
nah, i'm definitely not going to want to have kids for at least another 40 years. some people just don't go together with kids, especially small kids... kudos to all those young parents doing a (hopefully) amazing job though.
midsummersky That's why I said those who were on the fence :) . You seem pretty sure about your child free decision so obviously not on the fence
true!
First
Hank has officially won the award for the most adorable father of the year
Welcome back Hank! Thank you guys for being a great inspiration for me and millions of other people! Merry Christmas! Congratulations!
Bill
Is he the guy in scishow?
+Taisia Tiron He is!
ha.
No, he's a baby.
Orin is adorable! ^_^
I call that an understatement!
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Teresa Doherty.
Okay Orin is actually the cutest baby I have ever seen.
what about the original dad joke?
-dad i'm hungry
-hey hungry , i'm dad
THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY! I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU! ❤❤❤❤✨✨✨✨😊😊😊
Q: What do you call a patronizing criminal going down some stairs?
A: A condescending con descending.
Q: Why can't dinosaurs clap?
A: Because they're dead.
Jokes in seconds and Giraffe sex....Its good to be back Vlogbrothers! I've missed you so! Now let's see more objects on heads and giving the middle finger to terrible SUV's and then we've fully covered EVERYTHING!!!!! (Wednesday songs about Peeps, too!)
The pure JOY Hank feels making these dad jokes is so adorable and perfect, and he loves his son so much, like there is not a more "dadly" person out there than Hank and honestly, that little kid is so lucky and happy and this video just made my life a lot better I have a lot of feelings.
"Dad, the gas is out and I really want a cup of tea"
"Put it on the corner...."
"What?"
"Because it's 90 degrees!"
Don’t forget the classic
“Would you like my name?”
“Sure.”
“I am Hugh Mungus”
Taylor Ramirez you're a savage
I cannot think of anything articulate to say because BABY
Congratulations Hank! I too became a father this year, and I very much appreciate the inspiration for some of the many dad jokes that I will make in my lifetime.
Hank is just so proud of himself and that made the video so much better. I was smiling so hard through the whole thing. Congrats Katherine and Hank!
First of all: YOUR SON IS ADORABLE.
Second: I love your joke videos and this was one of the best...BECAUSE YOUR SON IS ABORABLE!
Third: Welcome to parenthood. I'm the mother of 5 and it's the best thing I've ever done along with marrying my best friend/husband. 💕
This video is instantly a UA-cam classic. Well done
What did the Queen of Hearts say to the snowman?
OLAF WITH HIS HEAD!!!
You my sir have forgotten the best Dad joke of them all:
👋🏽 hi.
What's your name sir?
Hugh.
Hugh what?
It's Hugh Mungus!!!!!
•Jo• that's not a joke it's sexual harassment you animal!
YES DAD JOKES. I'm so glad you seem to be enjoying dad-hood. Also omg orin cuteness. Joke videos are the best.
Confession . . . I am a Mom . . . but I tell a lot of Dad joke.
I am a 19 year old teen and I tell them, lol
Brilliant return 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
I'm watching this on the 28th and after such devastating news yesterday, this really cheered me up. Always so great to be reminded of new life after so many have passed away this year. Not to mention just HOW HAPPY you look, Hank, your joy is infectious. Thanks so much for these terribly fantastic puns!
This was so funny, and your son is adorable
Omg congratulations Hank!! Your baby is gorgeous and I wish my dad had your jokes
For some reason, I read the above comment, exchanging "jokes" and "baby"
I'm rewatching Hank's joke videos and it's fun just to see how internet humor has changed over the years. Vlogbrothers is such a great perpetual time capsule of internet culture and it's both awesome and existential crisis-inducing to realize how drastically UA-cam has changed in only 12 years.
This is how one returns from paternity leave. It could not have been more perfect.
Wow it was just yesterday I wished for a Joke video by Hank, what can I say its a Christmas miracle
Hank's ridiculous amounts of energy have never been so useful, I'm sure. Congrats to you both !!
Hank got even more dad-like when he started explaining his jokes to make sure you got how funny they were😁
this video is going down in history
Am I the only one who really loves dad jokes? They're hilarious!
I'm so happy for you i'm gonna cry! Congratulations!
The majority of the time when I ask my husband to change our son he responds with, "but I like him just how he is!" This has been going on for almost two years now.
There is no better way to start off Christmas than watching Hank make terrible-yet-somehow-still-amazing dad jokes at 3 am. HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!
Is there a mushroom in here? There's a fungus amongus
"I made a playlist boop booda doop doop. BOP!" -- Hank Green, 2016
this video actually had me in tears especially his face during the stock market joke
1:01 is the funniest thing I’ve heard today, as were a few of the other ones in this video, but that one made me laugh the hardest 😂😂😂😂😂
You look so happy and Orin is so cute!!
OMG as a Dad I loved all of those.
*GROAN* I love that the captions explain some of the jokes. ("Orion's Belt has 3 stars.") That's just icing on the cake.