I constantly hear "set boundaries"....followed by the fact that there must be consequences....followed by the other fact that they plow through boundaries. How does an adult person "enforce " a boundary with another adult (aged) person who doesn't remotely respect boundaries? How are you supposed to enforce consequences on a person who refuses to comply with the consequences?
Drive separately, sleep somewhere else in your home if finances are a problem or kids need both parents ( make him live somewhere else until he has been in an EMOTIONAL therapy ( not a regular counselor they have NO CLUE!!) always make it so you have an option to remove yourself and kids from him no matter where you are. Thats how you impose boundaries. You stop it from continuing that way....
You tell them that these boundaries keep you safe and sane. If he can't abide by them and respect you and the home, then he can sleep else where. Until he gets a damn good emotional therapist he probably will continue to see and over step those boundaries. If he refuses help get the hell away from him.
Boundaries are not to control them, it’s to tell them what you’ll do if they continue to disrespect, degrade, etc. I’ve literally heard of people walking out of their houses to get away from them in their rages. It only reinforces how despicable they are. And sometimes only boundary you have left is to cut all contact and leave.
Thank you.. Oh my all of this... I’ll add that he always catastrophiizing everything so then I’m the bad guy ( because I mention something he did , he says I turned it into the worst day of his life). God deliver those held captive the enemy, its truly a nightmare to live with.
Oh yes, I just recognized this pattern recently with my husband. The dramatization of things. It’s like do or die, won’t just let things settle or give time to process things. Thank you for sharing!
write down each thing that happens. Notice the pattern. Will help you so much to see the pattern. Use it in your business also. Why business keep records.
Yep that's what my ex does. So depressing. I was sick and he made it about him...oh I'm sick to. Sad. I feel so dumb then I forgive him because he love bombs me
So glad I found this video. Just recently bullied by ex narcissist. Wish I would have known some of these points as far as defending myself. He showed his true colors with his harsh and cruel words and behavior. This person will never be allowed to enter my life again.
I just bully them back lol! I don't put up with it anymore. I've bullied my whole toxic family and now I'm done with all of them. Lol! I'm alone but oh well. I mean it is depressing but what's more depressing is being around people who don't even care. I honestly wish I could just die but thinking about throwing myself against the train is just awful what an awful way to die so I just sit in my house and never come out.
He was my high school bully!! Really he was and he was big man on campus!! He was the boy everyone wanted and 18 years later here we are...stiff the man in social situations!! Hes big strong and Intimating and charming! Its astonishing what he could get away with and still fool everyone!
Yes, I am in this incredibly powerful sadness and waking nightmare, he discarded me like I was nothing and I am literally giving myself chest CPR to my heart chakra at night while I lay in bed alone and am trying to pick up the pieces. I cannot believe I love(d) him so entirely much from the moment I met him, and after all that we went through, THIS is who he has revealed himself to be. Thank you very much for your video.
Thank you!!!! You are exactly right that defending ourselves only escalates his rage. I have seen it in my brothers and others, the more you try to explain the louder you have to become because they get loud to shut you down and then you become louder to be heard. It is a tactic of the devil to cause us to become like the narcissist. the day I realized I do not have to answer anything to anyone because God sees it all, was the freest day of my life.
@@mariahconklin4150 We are living in the last days of apostasy. The mentality that dominates the culture now is what I call the 2 Timothy 3 mentality of total selifhsness. God said it would this way, as it was in the days of Noah when God flooded the earth because of the sin that was on it, we are in that same state right now. 2 Timothy 3:1-5 Difficult in this passage means "ragingly insane" Difficult Times Will Come "3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. 2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, slanderers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, 4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 holding to a form of godliness although they have denied its power; avoid such people as these."
Thanks for sharing! People like you are the reason we continue to do what we do, as challenging as it is, it is also rewarding to hear the transformation stories. We pray for continued healing and a restoration of hearts. God Bless.
These videos are always informative and make sense but on some days, I get so upset when I get triggered by a thought and I lose that ability to not try to defend myself and yes I always end up looking crazy and bad so I fall straight into the trap 😩. I have to work on stopping myself from becoming overwhelmed.
Yes, it's definitely a learned skill to not react and fall into their trap when someone gaslights you. DBT can help with this. To learn more, reach out at info@marriagerecoverycenter.com
Me me me!!! Just recently...First time I've ever experienced "freeze"! The paralysis!! That paralysis reopened a now oozing wound. Trying to hold a Resilience anymore feels futile...and irreparable....The very womb that once sheltered & nurtured my love... Feels as if it has been shredded with razors & put into freezer...Empty, void of light, void of warmth, void of hope. Void of freedom, rights, voice, & choice.... Enslaved! Uh oh... Let me check on potential referrals in my local area! ✨💐✨
Emotional abuse is akin to enslavement because it robs you of the freedom to be yourself and show up authentically, and often results in physical symptoms such as PTSD, CPTSD. If you would like to speak with someone about our trauma recovery programs for women, please reach out to us at (206) 219-0145 or info@marriagerecoverycenter.com.
Unfortunately "not getting it" is one of the key markers of a person with narcissistic traits. In most cases, some level of intervention is needed to break through the resistance or simply help them see things in a different light. If you want to learn how we can help, book a free call with our Client Care Team: bit.ly/3I0dntB
I needed this video soo bad. THANK YOU very much because the gas lighting manipulation that goes on is unreal. I never even knew what a narcissist was, I never even heard the word before covid and I was at home alone with my phone. The more videos I watched the more I was like those people are telling my story because it was the exact same thing that was happening to me but with my son not my man. I overcame and even forgave for the worst childhood you could imagine to tolerate this crap now from my son. I over gave my only child because I never had a childhood and what I had was abusive. My crime robbing him from the natural consequences of his own actions trying to shelter him from all negative experiences because I have had so many. Not to mention 20 years of sobriety every self-help group I could find for the first twenty years of his life... on and on... For him to now claim I did nothing and tell everybody I was abusive and even convince himself of it for pity and the poor me victim story is beyond heartbreaking. It's the horrible and belittle me everytime I disagree. This videos spot-on about him being a bully. All of them s started after the sudden and dramatic death of my fiance in our home. A year later my son was taken pills and calling me names. Not that it was perfect but we had the best relationship we had in years before. He went from being a little spoiled still to abusive and he's only in my home right now because of my mom's enabling in using me along with the fact he refuses to leave. I'm getting ready to evict again. I never thought I would be in this situation again but I am and I'm sure this is going to turn into a restraining order.
Glad you found this video helpful. For more related content and helpful advice from our therapists, subscribe to our UA-cam channel, or visit our blog at marriagerecoverycenter.com/blog/
@@drdavidbhawkins how do I know if I'M the narcissistic bully? In my marriage I have tried for so long to get my husband to understand that I need an emotionally intimate partner in him. He refuses to hear me. It hurts me deeply as I feel so alone. After 23 years of marriage, and pouring my heart out to him begging him to listen with his heart to what I'm saying, he still refuses to care enough to have an honest heart to heart conversation about it. I've since become so frustrated that I explode in frustration and anger. I'm just wondering if it's me that's the problem. Any advice? Thank you.
Is it possible for you to share some ideas for statements I can make? I'm to the stage of not arguing when he shifts the blame. I'm still not sure about what to actually say other than that's not my reality. Thank you for the great advice. The "gap" is crucial!!
Thanks for your inquiry. Dr. Hawkins often answers questions from our viewers and followers on the Marriage Recovery Center's Instagram stories. Please follow us on Instagram Stories to find out the answer to this question and more: instagram.com/marriagerecoverycenter/
Narcissistic blame shifting (see Bible verse Judges 16:10) ...for example of narcissistic annoyance (see Bible verse Judges 16:16) Delilah really cried like a victim knowing she was trying to betray Samson. SMH
Exactly what I’ve wasted time energy money, for a bully, he traumatized me his bullying turned into rage. He would just start being mean for no reason, tell me what I think what I will do. Told him go 4 months ago still traumatized then they get on the phone saying they are being abused Working hard to heal, if I couldn’t get a word out then, there is nothing to say to a vampire💔🥵😭🙏
Glad it was helpful! For more related content, subscribe to our channel. Or, book a free consultation with our Client Care Team to learn how we can help: bit.ly/3I0dntB
I'm so broken.... My childhood was indescribable. It was pure hell. My father raped my pets for example and made me watch. Now I'm with a man that told me my reaction to his abuse isn't justified and that I'm abusing him..... I love him. I love him. I love him. That's the only reason I'm still here. I love my kids and they're the only reason I'm still breathing 😢
We understand the heart wrenching position you are in. Please reach out to our Client Care Team to see if you would be a good candidate for our Women's Core program. It is a trauma focused DBT program to help you heal and navigate the complex world of emotional abuse and past and present trauma. Book a free call here: bit.ly/3I0dntB
Jesus is the answer. Get close to him. Read the bible. Then see he offers forgiveness for all that need it. Forgive yourself. You were a child and could not protect your pets. Forgive you. Ask JESUS for forgiveness. He has power to forgive all. Then make your peace and move on. All people and animals have scars. We live in a fallen world. Do not kid yourself. The best can do is to forgive yourself, forgive others, and then really forgive yourself and move on to make your world better. Some toxic people may need to be kicked out for a time of your life while making the new one.
@@jackfrosty4674 Jesus isn't the answer.... He didnt do this to me. Why would I ask Jesus to forgive me for something I had no part in as a child? Somewhere you're misguided and think I blame myself. Absofuckinlutely not! I know the dif between sex and rape. Rape is of no fault of the victim. I get your heart is in a good place but please fuck off until you do some soul searching and talk to God about why in the hell you feel like it were necessary to blaim the damn victim. Tf outta here
I actually become the bully lol! Every time I have an issue and feel hurt he ALWAYS makes it about him. He runs away and says things like, "I can't deal with this I had a hard day at work..." always about him always always always so I called him a moron and told him he can deal with it by himself. I took everyone out of my life I'm just done. I don't even want to work at this point because I'm always getting bullied it's annoying. I'm tired of it. He's so immature I'm over it so I just bully him back lmao. Oh well. I told him multiple times how he should change he doesn't want to and he's always invalidating my feelings. I'm done. Gas lighting at it's best. I just mirror him. I'm over it. After watching my own mother in multiple crappy relationships Idk why I bother.
Thanks for sharing. Here is a video you may find helpful, and we have many more. The Blameshifting Bully: ua-cam.com/video/EvxWb-KT_y0/v-deo.html Is Emotional Abuse Contagious: ua-cam.com/video/DMoqch_2tpU/v-deo.html For more related content, subscribe to our channel or sign up for our newsletter to get helpful tips and advice delivered directly to your Inbox: marriagerecoverycenter.com/mailing-list/
Growing as a person who can communicate non-defensively is a journey that involves understanding the beliefs and personal history that may be underlying your behaviors, and learning new behavior patterns to replace the old ones. The question to ask is "Why am I doing this?" The "How can I stop?" will require some outside help. If you'd like to talk to learn more about how we can help, we can be reached at (206) 219-0145 or info@marriagerecoverycenter.com
I am acting as sole, live-in carer (it's gone on for a year and a half now, against my will and is stopping me from living/working) to my vulnerable narcissist mother. My elder step-siblings (big age gap) are both emotionally retarded, but my elder brother is a frightening, bullying alcoholic who would frighten and destablise almost anyone. They are blind to my mother's consistent abuse, in denial about how they treat me, and now I woke up to the fact that this emotional abuse and neglect has been a feature of my entire 60 year relationship with them. Boundaries are swept past, forgotten, of no consequence. It's terrifying and I cant get help from any counsellor on the national health in the UK, and can't afford a private one. I'm always so close to desperation and don't know for how much longer I can go on. Dr Hawkins, can you help me? There's real desperation in my reaching out to a UA-cam channel. I've tried to learn everything I can about what I face and strategies for coping, but I'm even too scared to go no contact. I don't think I could do that by myself.
Yeah. Things I asked for were Reasonable! And yet she became the victim twisting it al on me I was expecting too much. Worse is she smearing me. People dont take time to know you. They believe the narc and side with them. Is so hard to have them bully and hard not to react or defend.
Absolutely not, unfortunately, narcissistic and emotional abuse happens in a variety of contexts - work, families, even teachers and athletic coaches. If you have more questions and would like to speak with someone about how we can help, reach out to us at (206) 219-0145 or info@marriagerecoverycenter.com. We look forward to hearing from you!
Anticipate the bullying?? What the hell is that supposed to mean?? You calling me a butthole?? 🤣🤣 Oops sorry. Anticipation was early and I wasn’t ready. 😀
Yes, it definitely goes both ways, and help is available for men who are abused as well. Check out our video on The Impact of Narcissistic Abuse on Men: ua-cam.com/video/N68Ch10E51k/v-deo.html
In other videos, Dr. Hawkins mentioned that in his counseling sessions it's like a 10 to 1 ratio. Yes there are women who are bullies, but the vast majority are men, unfortunately.
I think the extent of female bullying has yet to come out.. I believe more will surface in the coming years. ..most of the victims of female bullies are other women, or children powerless to talk about it or men ashamed to admit they’ve been abused.
Your videos are great except that you're constantly alienating men! Anyone can be a victim of narcassistic or emotional abuse. You are giving more power to the female covert narcassist when you do that while simultaneously making assumptions about men, many of whom are suffering in silent hell so don't give potential abusers ammunition by creating gender biases would be my suggestion. Female narcs have enough power. Let's not contribute
You keep saying he. Mine is a SHE. As a man, who's been called a narcissist by a narcissist, I hate that you use male pronouns. You look at society today, and the most narcissist gender, IMO, is women. They can gain a lot by it, and they do and will. If they could, they have.
You're so welcome! Glad you found it helpful. For more related content, subscribe to our channel or sign up for our newsletter to get helpful tips and advice delivered directly to your Inbox: marriagerecoverycenter.com/mailing-list/
Finally. Someone else calls them BULLYS!
I constantly hear "set boundaries"....followed by the fact that there must be consequences....followed by the other fact that they plow through boundaries. How does an adult person "enforce " a boundary with another adult (aged) person who doesn't remotely respect boundaries? How are you supposed to enforce consequences on a person who refuses to comply with the consequences?
Exactly. Only boundary I know is to leave.
Drive separately, sleep somewhere else in your home if finances are a problem or kids need both parents ( make him live somewhere else until he has been in an EMOTIONAL therapy ( not a regular counselor they have NO CLUE!!) always make it so you have an option to remove yourself and kids from him no matter where you are. Thats how you impose boundaries. You stop it from continuing that way....
You tell them that these boundaries keep you safe and sane. If he can't abide by them and respect you and the home, then he can sleep else where. Until he gets a damn good emotional therapist he probably will continue to see and over step those boundaries. If he refuses help get the hell away from him.
@@amandagonsman1504 make him leave? Impossible
Boundaries are not to control them, it’s to tell them what you’ll do if they continue to disrespect, degrade, etc. I’ve literally heard of people walking out of their houses to get away from them in their rages. It only reinforces how despicable they are. And sometimes only boundary you have left is to cut all contact and leave.
Thank you.. Oh my all of this... I’ll add that he always catastrophiizing everything so then I’m the bad guy ( because I mention something he did , he says I turned it into the worst day of his life). God deliver those held captive the enemy, its truly a nightmare to live with.
Oh yes, I just recognized this pattern recently with my husband. The dramatization of things. It’s like do or die, won’t just let things settle or give time to process things. Thank you for sharing!
Glad you found this helpful, and hope that you are on the path to healing. God Bless.
write down each thing that happens. Notice the pattern. Will help you so much to see the pattern. Use it in your business also. Why business keep records.
Yep that's what my ex does. So depressing. I was sick and he made it about him...oh I'm sick to. Sad. I feel so dumb then I forgive him because he love bombs me
@@jackfrosty4674 Thanks Jack
So glad I found this video. Just recently bullied by ex narcissist. Wish I would have known some of these points as far as defending myself. He showed his true colors with his harsh and cruel words and behavior. This person will never be allowed to enter my life again.
Glad it was helpful and hope you have found healing for your wounded heart.
@@drdavidbhawkins Thank you. I am trying to heal. I will never allow him to re-enter my life again.
I just bully them back lol! I don't put up with it anymore. I've bullied my whole toxic family and now I'm done with all of them. Lol! I'm alone but oh well. I mean it is depressing but what's more depressing is being around people who don't even care. I honestly wish I could just die but thinking about throwing myself against the train is just awful what an awful way to die so I just sit in my house and never come out.
I did the same thing! I vehemently defended myself! And wondered why I never got anywhere, now I know. Thank you!
He was my high school bully!! Really he was and he was big man on campus!! He was the boy everyone wanted and 18 years later here we are...stiff the man in social situations!! Hes big strong and Intimating and charming! Its astonishing what he could get away with and still fool everyone!
They weren't all fooled. Go back and talk to them. Many acted the friend, but stayed distant.
Yes, I am in this incredibly powerful sadness and waking nightmare, he discarded me like I was nothing and I am literally giving myself chest CPR to my heart chakra at night while I lay in bed alone and am trying to pick up the pieces. I cannot believe I love(d) him so entirely much from the moment I met him, and after all that we went through, THIS is who he has revealed himself to be. Thank you very much for your video.
Thank you!!!! You are exactly right that defending ourselves only escalates his rage. I have seen it in my brothers and others, the more you try to explain the louder you have to become because they get loud to shut you down and then you become louder to be heard. It is a tactic of the devil to cause us to become like the narcissist. the day I realized I do not have to answer anything to anyone because God sees it all, was the freest day of my life.
Sometimes I feel like those who care are on another damn planet it's like where the f are those people? It's so depressing.
@@mariahconklin4150 We are living in the last days of apostasy. The mentality that dominates the culture now is what I call the 2 Timothy 3 mentality of total selifhsness. God said it would this way, as it was in the days of Noah when God flooded the earth because of the sin that was on it, we are in that same state right now.
2 Timothy 3:1-5 Difficult in this passage means "ragingly insane"
Difficult Times Will Come
"3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. 2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, slanderers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, 4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 holding to a form of godliness although they have denied its power; avoid such people as these."
Your work is amazing and a true Godsend. Thank you for how much you have helped me and my healing process. 🙏
Thanks for sharing! People like you are the reason we continue to do what we do, as challenging as it is, it is also rewarding to hear the transformation stories. We pray for continued healing and a restoration of hearts. God Bless.
These videos are always informative and make sense but on some days, I get so upset when I get triggered by a thought and I lose that ability to not try to defend myself and yes I always end up looking crazy and bad so I fall straight into the trap 😩. I have to work on stopping myself from becoming overwhelmed.
Yes, it's definitely a learned skill to not react and fall into their trap when someone gaslights you. DBT can help with this. To learn more, reach out at info@marriagerecoverycenter.com
Me me me!!! Just recently...First time I've ever experienced "freeze"! The paralysis!! That paralysis reopened a now oozing wound. Trying to hold a Resilience anymore feels futile...and irreparable....The very womb that once sheltered & nurtured my love... Feels as if it has been shredded with razors & put into freezer...Empty, void of light, void of warmth, void of hope. Void of freedom, rights, voice, & choice.... Enslaved!
Uh oh... Let me check on potential referrals in my local area! ✨💐✨
Emotional abuse is akin to enslavement because it robs you of the freedom to be yourself and show up authentically, and often results in physical symptoms such as PTSD, CPTSD. If you would like to speak with someone about our trauma recovery programs for women, please reach out to us at (206) 219-0145 or info@marriagerecoverycenter.com.
Yes 🙌 this is exactly I have been trying to explain to him but he just DOESNT get it
Unfortunately "not getting it" is one of the key markers of a person with narcissistic traits. In most cases, some level of intervention is needed to break through the resistance or simply help them see things in a different light. If you want to learn how we can help, book a free call with our Client Care Team: bit.ly/3I0dntB
My step dad and step bro were covert narccistic bullies I were afraid of growing up. Glad I stood up to them
Glad you did not allow them to lose your voice and your identity. Thanks for sharing
I needed this video soo bad. THANK YOU very much because the gas lighting manipulation that goes on is unreal. I never even knew what a narcissist was, I never even heard the word before covid and I was at home alone with my phone. The more videos I watched the more I was like those people are telling my story because it was the exact same thing that was happening to me but with my son not my man. I overcame and even forgave for the worst childhood you could imagine to tolerate this crap now from my son. I over gave my only child because I never had a childhood and what I had was abusive. My crime robbing him from the natural consequences of his own actions trying to shelter him from all negative experiences because I have had so many. Not to mention 20 years of sobriety every self-help group I could find for the first twenty years of his life... on and on... For him to now claim I did nothing and tell everybody I was abusive and even convince himself of it for pity and the poor me victim story is beyond heartbreaking. It's the horrible and belittle me everytime I disagree. This videos spot-on about him being a bully. All of them s started after the sudden and dramatic death of my fiance in our home. A year later my son was taken pills and calling me names. Not that it was perfect but we had the best relationship we had in years before. He went from being a little spoiled still to abusive and he's only in my home right now because of my mom's enabling in using me along with the fact he refuses to leave. I'm getting ready to evict again. I never thought I would be in this situation again but I am and I'm sure this is going to turn into a restraining order.
Narcissistic abuse happens in families, in the workplace, anywhere really, not just intimate relationships. Sorry to hear you are experiencing this.
Your videos are saving lives! Thank you!❤
I definitely needed to hear this message today thank you Dr Hawkins, i really appreciate your videos❤
So glad you found it helpful and to know our message is reaching those who need to hear it. Thank you for your feedback
I just heard it and it confirmed that I am not going crazy as yet 😳
My dad is so difficult. He really lowered my confidence. Even today as an adult I'm struggling with this.
So true! I’ve been there....excellent advice, ty!💜
Glad you found this video helpful. For more related content and helpful advice from our therapists, subscribe to our UA-cam channel, or visit our blog at marriagerecoverycenter.com/blog/
@@drdavidbhawkins how do I know if I'M the narcissistic bully? In my marriage I have tried for so long to get my husband to understand that I need an emotionally intimate partner in him. He refuses to hear me. It hurts me deeply as I feel so alone. After 23 years of marriage, and pouring my heart out to him begging him to listen with his heart to what I'm saying, he still refuses to care enough to have an honest heart to heart conversation about it. I've since become so frustrated that I explode in frustration and anger. I'm just wondering if it's me that's the problem. Any advice? Thank you.
Thank you!
Thank you, Dr.
Is it possible for you to share some ideas for statements I can make? I'm to the stage of not arguing when he shifts the blame. I'm still not sure about what to actually say other than that's not my reality. Thank you for the great advice. The "gap" is crucial!!
Thanks for your inquiry. Dr. Hawkins often answers questions from our viewers and followers on the Marriage Recovery Center's Instagram stories. Please follow us on Instagram Stories to find out the answer to this question and more: instagram.com/marriagerecoverycenter/
My husband blame me for his womanizing, and for having debts which I spent for our needs.
Narcissistic blame shifting (see Bible verse Judges 16:10) ...for example of narcissistic annoyance (see Bible verse Judges 16:16) Delilah really cried like a victim knowing she was trying to betray Samson. SMH
Exactly what I’ve wasted time energy money, for a bully, he traumatized me his bullying turned into rage.
He would just start being mean for no reason, tell me what I think what I will do.
Told him go 4 months ago still traumatized then they get on the phone saying they are being abused
Working hard to heal, if I couldn’t get a word out then, there is nothing to say to a vampire💔🥵😭🙏
Thank you for excellent advise.
Glad it was helpful! For more related content, subscribe to our channel. Or, book a free consultation with our Client Care Team to learn how we can help: bit.ly/3I0dntB
I'm so broken.... My childhood was indescribable. It was pure hell. My father raped my pets for example and made me watch. Now I'm with a man that told me my reaction to his abuse isn't justified and that I'm abusing him..... I love him. I love him. I love him. That's the only reason I'm still here. I love my kids and they're the only reason I'm still breathing 😢
We understand the heart wrenching position you are in. Please reach out to our Client Care Team to see if you would be a good candidate for our Women's Core program. It is a trauma focused DBT program to help you heal and navigate the complex world of emotional abuse and past and present trauma. Book a free call here: bit.ly/3I0dntB
Jesus is the answer. Get close to him. Read the bible. Then see he offers forgiveness for all that need it. Forgive yourself. You were a child and could not protect your pets. Forgive you. Ask JESUS for forgiveness. He has power to forgive all. Then make your peace and move on. All people and animals have scars. We live in a fallen world. Do not kid yourself. The best can do is to forgive yourself, forgive others, and then really forgive yourself and move on to make your world better. Some toxic people may need to be kicked out for a time of your life while making the new one.
@@jackfrosty4674 Jesus isn't the answer.... He didnt do this to me. Why would I ask Jesus to forgive me for something I had no part in as a child? Somewhere you're misguided and think I blame myself. Absofuckinlutely not! I know the dif between sex and rape. Rape is of no fault of the victim. I get your heart is in a good place but please fuck off until you do some soul searching and talk to God about why in the hell you feel like it were necessary to blaim the damn victim. Tf outta here
Thank you
I actually become the bully lol! Every time I have an issue and feel hurt he ALWAYS makes it about him. He runs away and says things like, "I can't deal with this I had a hard day at work..." always about him always always always so I called him a moron and told him he can deal with it by himself. I took everyone out of my life I'm just done. I don't even want to work at this point because I'm always getting bullied it's annoying. I'm tired of it. He's so immature I'm over it so I just bully him back lmao. Oh well. I told him multiple times how he should change he doesn't want to and he's always invalidating my feelings. I'm done. Gas lighting at it's best. I just mirror him. I'm over it. After watching my own mother in multiple crappy relationships Idk why I bother.
Thanks for sharing. Here is a video you may find helpful, and we have many more. The Blameshifting Bully: ua-cam.com/video/EvxWb-KT_y0/v-deo.html
Is Emotional Abuse Contagious: ua-cam.com/video/DMoqch_2tpU/v-deo.html
For more related content, subscribe to our channel or sign up for our newsletter to get helpful tips and advice delivered directly to your Inbox: marriagerecoverycenter.com/mailing-list/
What do you do if you are that person?
Growing as a person who can communicate non-defensively is a journey that involves understanding the beliefs and personal history that may be underlying your behaviors, and learning new behavior patterns to replace the old ones. The question to ask is "Why am I doing this?" The "How can I stop?" will require some outside help. If you'd like to talk to learn more about how we can help, we can be reached at (206) 219-0145 or info@marriagerecoverycenter.com
Figure out why are so afraid and insecure. That would help alot.
I am acting as sole, live-in carer (it's gone on for a year and a half now, against my will and is stopping me from living/working) to my vulnerable narcissist mother. My elder step-siblings (big age gap) are both emotionally retarded, but my elder brother is a frightening, bullying alcoholic who would frighten and destablise almost anyone. They are blind to my mother's consistent abuse, in denial about how they treat me, and now I woke up to the fact that this emotional abuse and neglect has been a feature of my entire 60 year relationship with them. Boundaries are swept past, forgotten, of no consequence. It's terrifying and I cant get help from any counsellor on the national health in the UK, and can't afford a private one. I'm always so close to desperation and don't know for how much longer I can go on. Dr Hawkins, can you help me? There's real desperation in my reaching out to a UA-cam channel. I've tried to learn everything I can about what I face and strategies for coping, but I'm even too scared to go no contact. I don't think I could do that by myself.
Do these principles apply to the narcissist wife?
Absolutely, these traits apply to both men and women. We recently released a video “5 Traits of a Narcissistic Woman”
@@drdavidbhawkins Thank you.
Yeah. Things I asked for were
Reasonable! And yet she became the victim twisting it al on me I was expecting too much. Worse is she smearing me. People dont take time to know you. They believe the narc and side with them. Is so hard to have them bully and hard not to react or defend.
Him and her
Yes it can be either a man or a woman
does it Have to be in marriage?
Absolutely not, unfortunately, narcissistic and emotional abuse happens in a variety of contexts - work, families, even teachers and athletic coaches. If you have more questions and would like to speak with someone about how we can help, reach out to us at (206) 219-0145 or info@marriagerecoverycenter.com. We look forward to hearing from you!
Anticipate the bullying?? What the hell is that supposed to mean?? You calling me a butthole?? 🤣🤣 Oops sorry. Anticipation was early and I wasn’t ready. 😀
He/she please
This.
🌬
In my case ? The "he" is a "she"
Yes, it definitely goes both ways, and help is available for men who are abused as well. Check out our video on The Impact of Narcissistic Abuse on Men: ua-cam.com/video/N68Ch10E51k/v-deo.html
Same here
What about the ex wife, she is the narcissist! Emotional abuse weaponizing with kids...
Why is it focused on the man when the women are just as venomous?
In other videos, Dr. Hawkins mentioned that in his counseling sessions it's like a 10 to 1 ratio. Yes there are women who are bullies, but the vast majority are men, unfortunately.
@@MichaelMerino Thanks for that clarification. I have dealt with women like these and so I was wondering why the talk is one sided
I think because more men verses woman are narcissistic
I think the extent of female bullying has yet to come out.. I believe more will surface in the coming years.
..most of the victims of female bullies are other women, or children powerless to talk about it or men ashamed to admit they’ve been abused.
Your videos are great except that you're constantly alienating men! Anyone can be a victim of narcassistic or emotional abuse. You are giving more power to the female covert narcassist when you do that while simultaneously making assumptions about men, many of whom are suffering in silent hell so don't give potential abusers ammunition by creating gender biases would be my suggestion. Female narcs have enough power. Let's not contribute
You keep saying he. Mine is a SHE. As a man, who's been called a narcissist by a narcissist, I hate that you use male pronouns. You look at society today, and the most narcissist gender, IMO, is women. They can gain a lot by it, and they do and will. If they could, they have.
Thank you
You're so welcome! Glad you found it helpful. For more related content, subscribe to our channel or sign up for our newsletter to get helpful tips and advice delivered directly to your Inbox: marriagerecoverycenter.com/mailing-list/