Borderline Talks Back | Coral More | TEDxUBC
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- Опубліковано 30 тра 2018
- Coral's talk bridges her poetic and academic passions in a discussion of social and professional stigma, and how this stigma can be fought using the dimensional model of personality disorders. Coral is a stigma warrior, activist, performance poet, and psychology student. Her poetry explores lived experience of mental illness, gender, and sexuality through a lens that is both educational and vulnerable. Coral believes in compassion, storytelling, and radical acceptance. Her academic work explores the relationship between rumination and negative affect, and in the future she hopes to contribute to the growing literature on self-injury and dimensional models of personality disorders. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
I am 1 minute in feeling more heard than my whole 23 years on this planet. Who is this lovely person. Thank you for seeing me so clearly.
I too have experienced the " we can schedule an appointment to help you in 2 weeks"
In 2 hours i could convince my self to just let go. In 2 days, i will no longer be this person,
In 2 weeks, i may not remember who this person was. I need help
ending the overwhelming pain when its occuring, i need help learning to not experience the overwhelming pain.
I think others can't see my pain because i am not bleeding, and my little brain says, 'we can fix that with a flick of a blade' and my little heart says ' oh no honey, that will hurt everyone but you' constantly living in such opposites are impossible to explain to a 'normal' person.
Your talk was soothing because i didn't feel alone for a few minutes. Thank you.
As a nurse and someone who is diagnosed with borderline I am so greatful for this.
I have no/low sense of self either. But am not A BPD. Have consulted through psychiatrist she said I don't have BPD. Now, she's performing CBT on me. Will it help to regain it ? . Can I regain my sense of self ? One thing's for sure, I do not have BPD but low/no sense of self. All symptoms doesn't match. It's not necessary to have BPD if you have low/no sense of self . Will it help? Please reply man. I know how it feels. Please reply. Lots of love.Btw my age is 20 now. Will be 21 on 9DEC 2020.
It's so good to know you can be a nurse with BPD!! I'm about to apply to nursing school & I have BPD. I just started DBT but I do still have a long way to go. Do you have any tips on coping with the stresses of nursing school and your career?
@@twighlight65500 I also have BPD and want to pursue nursing ! i’m a senior in highschool now. please let me know how your journey has been it’s really help
@@twighlight65500 I hope you got in to do nursing. If you live in the UK, I would suggest leaving this out from your application, as you will have no chance of getting in, even to do mental health nursing:-(
Of course youre a nurse
this is reading my life, im sweating at how acurate this is to me.
I have no/low sense of self either. But am not A BPD. Have consulted through psychiatrist she said I don't have BPD. Now, she's performing CBT on me. Will it help to regain it ? . Can I regain my sense of self ? One thing's for sure, I do not have BPD but low/no sense of self. All symptoms doesn't match. It's not necessary to have BPD if you have low/no sense of self . Will it help? Please reply man. I know how it feels. Please reply. Lots of love.Btw my age is 20 now. Will be 21 on 9DEC 2020.
@@mansi1701 Google low sense of self , results pop up of' Harley therapy low Sense of self'. Everything is matching expect last 2-3.
As a poet with BPD and someone who struggles to cope with living with this disorder, I appreciate your strong words of wisdom and your personal take on the disorder.
I have no/low sense of self either. But am not A BPD. Have consulted through psychiatrist she said I don't have BPD. Now, she's performing CBT on me. Will it help to regain it ? . Can I regain my sense of self ? One thing's for sure, I do not have BPD but low/no sense of self. All symptoms doesn't match. It's not necessary to have BPD if you have low/no sense of self . Will it help? Please reply man. I know how it feels. Please reply. Lots of love.Btw my age is 20 now. Will be 21 on 9DEC 2020.
@@sauravgupta4103 keep working with your psychiatrist. But also try DBT. Good luck
@@sunshineleo24 Thanks. How are you now ? Did you manage some symptoms. Did you regain your sense of self to be specific ? Thanks.
@@sauravgupta4103 I am doing much better now. I still have to work on dbt skills. Try some empowerment affirmations that may help you
@@sunshineleo24 I know it's awkward though. But can u tell me about your sense of self. How's it now did u regain your sense of self. If u want to rate out of 100, how much will it be ?
First, that poem was absolutely perfect. Second,coral is absolutely one of the strongest women and inspirational for anyone faced with stigma. I wish her the best luck in her life. She certainly deserves it.
I cried as you read the poem. I felt like you spoke for my soul.
Completely agree!
I didn’t even make it 2 minutes in
This made me cry. I've been wanting someone with a clinical understanding to voice what its like but in a non-clinical heartfelt and hopeful way... and you did it so, so well and so beautifully, thank you.
Keep seeking out UA-cam help. Listening to people with this disorder like myself helps more than seeing counsellors who don't truly understand
@@wazzup20011983 I really needed to read you comment. Thank you.
To take the human experience and intertwine it with poetry, and personalize the pathology of BPD, is an important progression of humanizing the disorder. Something that can get so lost in diagnosing, defining and science of mental disorders. I study neuroscience and reminding myself of the personal experience of the things I study, help so much in keeping in touch of humanity and why I study what I do.
I cried watching this and think it was a master piece. Thank you Coral! You are an important person.
Thanks so much for this lovely comment
Currently working on some homework, as a fellow psych major with BPD this spoke to me. I am currently learning about psychopaths and how they have less responsive amygdala's, the emotion regulating part of the brain, often 18-20% smaller than the "normal" individual.. however, in my biopsychology class I focuses my work on the brain abnormalities of those who have BPD and we have more responsive amygdala's, often 20% larger than the "normal" individual. This shows we are more empathetic with others, more selfless. BPD is not bad, we have our own strengths and weaknesses as does any one else. Let's break the stigma!
I am among the people who are in bpd remission. I am 33 and struggle every day to find the person inside me that is not constrained by my own emotions.
Thank you for your beautiful words and bravery.
Thank you for being a BPD person and speaking the truth about the problems in care about our struggle and about stigma, esp clinical stigma. I wish you well on your journey. I hope you continue to achieve and grow and learn and that you can educate others. You are amazing.
I have no/low sense of self either. But am not A BPD. Have consulted through psychiatrist she said I don't have BPD. Now, she's performing CBT on me. Will it help to regain it ? . Can I regain my sense of self ? One thing's for sure, I do not have BPD but low/no sense of self. All symptoms doesn't match. It's not necessary to have BPD if you have low/no sense of self . Will it help? Please reply man. I know how it feels. Please reply. Lots of love.Btw my age is 20 now. Will be 21 on 9DEC 2020.
"just as the poems illustrate that which has no words, so do the injuries illustrate that which is unimaginable"
Couldn't have said it better myself.
That’s my favourite line too :)
@@coralmore3568 Your voice is heard and I can't thank you enough, Coral. I suffer from BPD. The poem "I Hate You Don't Leave Me". Was very eye opening to me. I was told remission of bpd begins 10 years after the initial trauma that started it. Have you found this to be true for you or others?
This part really struck me too. What a beautiful poem
This video deserves so many more views ❤️ what a beautifully detailed speech from a beautiful soul, thank you so much for saying these words ❤️ I can not even imagine how hard it was to talk about out loud, so as a fellow BPD sufferer thank you 😊 🙏 your a inspiration
Coral is absolutely amazing. Wow. I can't thank her enough for this.
Thank you!
@@coralmore3568 Ironic that you were told not to study in this area when Marsha Linehan has revealed she suffered from BPD and developed DBT as she felt there was no appropriate psychological treatment for her.
Yes honestly thank you. I have never heard anything that explained how I've been feeling my whole life so perfectly.
I suffer from Bpd and I could relate so much to your poem- it was unbelievably beautiful and heartwrenching!! I have had so many horrible ER experiences where I was suicidal but the nurses /,staff ignored and just let me go. Also I was in a grad program in psych, where I had to talk to my professor after class that I had Bpd and how stigmatizing this d/o is in my experience and that it was NOT at all a joke to tell future therapists that client's with Bpd are every therapist's worst nightmare!"
God I am SO sorry. I had similar experiences in school. Taking a break now for mental health but hoping to get back to it. Sending love!
I have no/low sense of self either. But am not A BPD. Have consulted through psychiatrist she said I don't have BPD. Now, she's performing CBT on me. Will it help to regain it ? . Can I regain my sense of self ? One thing's for sure, I do not have BPD but low/no sense of self. All symptoms doesn't match. It's not necessary to have BPD if you have low/no sense of self . Will it help? Please reply man. I know how it feels. Please reply. Lots of love.Btw my age is 20 now. Will be 21 on 9DEC 2020.
I am learning how to feel without forcing myself to drown. I feel this so hard.
❤️
All I can say is.... this is beautiful. I feel understood. My experience at a hospital was so similar, it's uncanny. A student psychiatrist told the nurses to let me go after a couple hours because my personality didn't meet the textbook criteria to worry enough about. It was Father's Day. I didn't trust myself to leave because I knew what would happen... When they found out I didn't have insurance I was moved to another facility for low income patients and mentally deranged inmates. It ended up becoming one of the most transforming times of my life. The group therapy was all across the board and I'll never be able to watch the movie Click without remembering Rob. Since it was a government funded treatment center we had the pleasure of having leftover food from the prison nearby. I offered Rob my food one night and in return he looked me straight in the eyes and told me he could see the beauty in me and to not give up on the world. He spoke about his 2 suicide attempts while I was terrified to speak about my very own issues. I still wonder how that man is doing.
I'm about to begin my Bachelors in Psychology next Spring. And I am so grateful now for everything I've been through. Don't give up. ❤
😊😊
So well explained that’s how I feel. The high helium feeling the low dim into the sea feeling it’s all so exhausting I just wanna feel ok.
Even though it's not as flawless at all times, she spoke with so much sincerity. I am still waiting on an evaluation for Borderline Personality Disorder but I so heavily resonated with her words. Thank you, Coral
i suffer from borderline personality dissorder with mixed states anxiety, ocd, saw this and bought tears to me, life is so chaotic and edgy :-(
This is how I feel, if you feel like that if you have BPD I love you and you are important for me. If I can you can!
So pleased that Coral is pursuing such a career - we NEED people who have lived it to support and guide others. EMPATHY EMPATHY EMPATHY!!!!!! Love you Coral!
Incredible. This moved me. Thank you for standing up and having the courage to speak against the status quo.
Fantastic. Bravo. You go girl. You are awesome. You message is right on. Carry on, carry on! You are a Pioneer. Expose BPD to the world and keep giving it a humanizing face. I am so, so proud of you. Whether you realize it or not, that bravery and courage you are showing now will help make your make in the world and perhaps even make you famous at some point. But if nothing else, you are matching yourself to the beat of an excellent drum. Keep following it! Keep doing what you're doing! Keep fighting to make BPD so well know it comes a household known world. Because whether you realize it or not, your fight here is, quite literally, saving lives. Bravo!!!
Helen Karp thank you so much!
It’s like finding gold when you hear someone speak what you feel! ❤️💫
Gosh that's the best compliment. Thank you!
It's fascinating that you are working through coursework in counselling and pschology. Thank u for sharing. Greatly enjoyed this, I hate the term personality disorder.
Wow! Im stunned at how good this speach was! Thank you for speaking up for us! 🙏❤👏
I honestly really needed this. My dream in life is to become a therapist, and I was honestly about to give up on the one thing that has kept me going for all this time. But seeing this is making me not want to give up on my dream. And keep fighting for what I believe. I’ve been through so much worse and. And I truly believe I can overcome this and be a wonderful therapist. Thank you
Coral here - we're in this together! All the best.
Absolutely amazing Coral! You are brilliant and we three love and cherish you in our own hearts of Glass. Emma, Sunshine & Rainbow.
the way i was treated in hospitals has forever haunted me
That was crazy, it fit perfectly into how I feel daily. Thank you.
Greatly enjoyed. What most helped you going through your journey! Not self harm, but struggling to deal with it.
Learning about clinical psychology and meeting other people with the disorder. :))
I wish there were more bpd awareness for men because the disorder affects men just as much, but unfortunately stigma just keeps bringing unhealthy misinformation
Agreed! I facilitate a peer support group for BPD and we have a large proportion of men. It always makes me really happy to see them.
I have no/low sense of self either. But am not A BPD. Have consulted through psychiatrist she said I don't have BPD. Now, she's performing CBT on me. Will it help to regain it ? . Can I regain my sense of self ? One thing's for sure, I do not have BPD but low/no sense of self. All symptoms doesn't match. It's not necessary to have BPD if you have low/no sense of self . Will it help? Please reply man. I know how it feels. Please reply. Lots of love.Btw my age is 20 now. Will be 21 on 9DEC 2020.
People don't like us and are scared of us because of the capacities we hold. Learn how to harness the strength of bpd as a man and do something special unique and creative, I know it's easier said than done.
I know.
I have a differential dx of borderline and yes there is a lot of talk among some circles ( including the practice I work at) where the providers are discussing the over dx of women and under dx of men and the symptom differences.
Thank you Coral!!
Thank you so much for this video. ❤
I'm recovered bpd, but i still feel it in there and I'm not 100% healthy. I was very relaxed and happy as a kid so i have hope
Wow. This is fantastic. As someone with bpd myself its relatable on many parts. Such as i've been to a&e for suicidal and ymurge to act in it was higher than normal but was told as I sought help couldn't be that bad so I left. Thanks coral
You're welcome! I'm so sorry you've had those experiences.
Thank you for this. I too am a Psychology student and I completely agree that the dimensional model should be instituted to replace the categorical model.
"an arbitrary number" is such a powerful way to talk about scales and quantitative inquiry - what are we saying about operationalizing a construct when we boil it down to a scale? why not explore the experience from a qualitative standpoint in conjunction with quantitative inquiry so that we can increase our efficiency in pursuing an accurate depiction of psychological experience? what are we avoiding?
Made me cry to no end. Thank you. BPD proud. 💪
Thank you for talking about the dimensionale model. I think it would greatly improve research and diagnosis. But I am no expert 😊
beautifully stated!
You are inspirational....I admire you.
Thank you.
Extraordinary young woman who will help so many people
Thank you
Thank you so much, you wonderful human
Sean OBrien you’re welcome!
very very much touching and interesting it would be very much useful to see the script in order to made it available in other languages
I'll see what I can do! :)
My life story, thank you so much.
lost for words. amazing.
this is my life, im crying
You are amazing!
This video should have a lot more views! I wish there was a love button! ♥️
helpful, thank you
I loved the time a crisis psych nurse greeted me with "You again"?
Or the time I was in a suicide crisis and the hospital once again dismissed me and discharged me. I was in enough of a crisis that we asked if there were other options. I was given one where a major criteria was that you couldn't be in crisis. If needing to attempt to kill yourself isn't a crisis I don't know what is. 🤷♀️
Jeez, I'm shaken up from top to bottom, it's a very very real example, similar self doubt that, am I really suffering or just making it up. And after resolution of the clinical spectrum to minimum, the identity confusion is heightened to a maximum, and it is difficult to think more .....
Thank you for composing a song whose melody hummed comfort in my heart. Today’s emotional forecast was cold and desolate. Having swallowed the key a long time ago, my voice box was locked. Once again bottling up all the pain. Dripping into my thoughts with suggestions to kill myself. Your vulnerability shined as hope in my minds sky. Illuminating that I am worthy of expressing my truth. That I’m not bad or crazy. Most importantly, that I can heal. ❤️
You are beautiful with words. I would love to hear more some time. I also have a page for survivors if this interests you. ♡
Hits hard. ❤
The poem is breathtaking. Where can I read this? Please share a written form of the poem
Hi fellow BPD
🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 thank you so much for this! For the first time in my life i feel that i’m not alone with my disorder ❤️
Did you write the poem? It's beautiful! You're beautiful! Thank you so much for explaining everything I feel so eloquently! I may have to use that poem to explain to others what it's like to have BPD! Thank you!
Cinthia Gypsy Landau. I did write the poem :) you can find more of my poems at coralthepoet on Instagram :) thank you for the love, and it brings me so much joy and hope to hear you might use the poem to help explain the disorder to others, that was my intention with it :)
@Coral More I tried looking up your Instagram but nothing is showing up :( I hope you are still sharing your poetry! I would love to read them. It would honestly be really helpful to me.
Thankyou. Thankyou. Thankyou.
This was like a Great . Big. Hug
You go girl!
It’s all the inner anger coming up from all the past abuse from our parents and those who never let us have a voice and people wonder why we are so mad 🤷♀️🙄come on.
Absolutely wreak after watching this. But in a good way. More insight to bpd WILL help me.
Thank you
I have no/low sense of self either. But am not A BPD. Have consulted through psychiatrist she said I don't have BPD. Now, she's performing CBT on me. Will it help to regain it ? . Can I regain my sense of self ? One thing's for sure, I do not have BPD but low/no sense of self. All symptoms doesn't match. It's not necessary to have BPD if you have low/no sense of self . Will it help? Please reply man. I know how it feels. Please reply. Lots of love.Btw my age is 20 now. Will be 21 on 9DEC 2020.
That poem sheeeeesh
My entire 40 years of life
But what about when your family member has every symptom of BPD and refuses to admit it and lies to practitioners to avoid diagnosis? My brother just died as a result of BPD fueled shame and addiction . I wish it were as simple as "don't stigmatize" but hurt people hurt people....so what is the way to deal with a loved one who is abusive and lies? How to actually help while not putting yourself in harms way?
im trying so hard to find this poem..
can anyone help please?
I wonder how she keeps a job and what type of job is best for someone with bpd.
💛🌻
Hi, I dont have sense of self either . I recently consulted a Psychiatrist , she said in order to have BPd , one must have 5 criteria out of 9 in order to have BPD . Now , she's performing CBT on me. One thing is for sure , I dont have BPD, but low to no sense of self . Can I regain my sense of self . I have almost none friends. Please reply man , can I regain my sense of self again.Btw, my age is 20 , will be 21 on 9 DEC 2021 . Please reply man . And you also suffer from identity issues , did u regain it ? How much will u rate your reganied your sense of self out of 100? Please reply man. i am very anxious now
I am a 35 year old father of 3. 1 has autism to my now wife. The other two, teen girls, we buried their mom 3 years ago. I was diagnosed in my teens. Everyday feels like an asteroid is coming. Everyday it feels like i summoned asteroids... i felt guilty when i had to have brain surgery. I scare people with outbursts... im terrified of turmoil.. i sometimes vent serious emotion on youtube comments
I could have a class on this
I am being punished because of this disorder😢
Pelo amor de Deus, alguém traduza pra mim.
This is way too relatable. 🫂