You Can’t Shame A Gay Boy Straight | Gareth Patterson | TEDxStormontStudio

Поділитися
Вставка
  • Опубліковано 11 вер 2024
  • Can our sexual identity be altered through psycho-therapeutic interventions, or even prayer? And what would drive someone to want to change this deeply personal and very natural side of them? In some parts of the world it is still legal to offer specialist therapy in an attempt to re-orientate someone’s same-sex attraction. General Practitioner Dr Gareth Patterson shares his own personal story of growing up gay within an evangelical Christian community, the shame he experienced, and the circumstances that led him into Conversion Therapy (and out the other side). #NoMoreShame Gareth is a qualified medical doctor and member of the Royal College of General Practitioners. In 2019 he took up a GP Partnership post in East Belfast. Outside of his clinical job, Gareth is a proud advocate for the city he lives in and the country he loves. In 2017 he launched his own business, NI Coffee Maps, producing a series of pocket guides promoting the best local independent specialty coffee shops in Northern Ireland which is the first of its kind in the UK and Ireland. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

КОМЕНТАРІ • 127

  • @musicdirector8661
    @musicdirector8661 10 місяців тому +94

    It breaks my heart that this is even an issue for our youth. I am 58 years old and I listen to this man like it was back in the 1980’s with all the hate and prejudice that I grew up with. These so called “fake Christians” have no idea how much pain they have inflicted on our children because of their backward and uneducated views. I am so happy to see that you are moving forward with your life with no more shame and fear and challenging those around you.

    • @bherrin67
      @bherrin67 10 місяців тому +3

      Same 🤚🏻💔

    • @AndrewtateIsinjail
      @AndrewtateIsinjail 8 місяців тому +2

      Thank you queen or king for supporting 🏳️‍🌈 🏳️‍⚧️

  • @selispeks
    @selispeks 10 місяців тому +66

    The world needs YOUR memoir. If you wrote this script yourself, your talent is IMMENSE, and your story can help millions. Thank you so much for telling your story ❤

  • @desfrancis2543
    @desfrancis2543 9 місяців тому +11

    At 63 I'm only just Starting the process of accepting that my evangelical Christian upbringing led me to shut down and hide from myself and be overcome by the shame that haunted me all my life.. No more shame is my goal. Thank you so much for sharing xx

  • @nesa2000
    @nesa2000 Рік тому +81

    Beautifully and articulately spoken. Thank you.

  • @hansherrmannshausen9669
    @hansherrmannshausen9669 4 місяці тому +6

    i prayed to god to be changed, too. in the 70ties. The brilliance of Gareth's talk is, that he shares how deeply hurtfull and painfull this feeling of shame is, which was imposed to us. But that alone can be re-traumatizing to hear, depressing. Instead, he shows how far he got in transforming the impact of the unhealthy power structures over him, and to reconstruct a healthy self. He speaks so breautifully, his voice sounds form the depth of his heart and soul. Thank you so much, Gareth.

  • @juliancoulden1753
    @juliancoulden1753 Рік тому +42

    What a beautiful man.

  • @chnalvr
    @chnalvr 10 місяців тому +20

    Spot on, 100%! Living openly and authentically will not waste so much human potential that we really need in our world.

  • @leeboriack8054
    @leeboriack8054 2 роки тому +45

    Hope he has a life filled with happiness and finds the love of his life!

  • @roberthernandez4975
    @roberthernandez4975 10 місяців тому +11

    God loves you and does NOT judge you. We are our own worst enemies. God accepts and loves you exactly as you arenas beyond your wildest dreams. People judge not God

  • @mikevale3620
    @mikevale3620 Рік тому +41

    Very powerful and uplifting. I'm so pleased you found your path Gareth.

  • @roberthutchens7004
    @roberthutchens7004 10 місяців тому +17

    Beautifully chosen words expressing a profound message in just about the most beautiful spoken English I’ve ever heard.

  • @denniscampeau6577
    @denniscampeau6577 10 місяців тому +24

    Brilliant young man! Love is always the best answer.

  • @stephendavidbailey2743
    @stephendavidbailey2743 10 місяців тому +29

    At age 77, I still have the struggle I had at age 7.

    • @steelcrown7130
      @steelcrown7130 10 місяців тому +3

      That is appalling. I was also 7, but it was 1967, so I am a little younger than you. I hope the struggle passes, and peace takes its place. It did eventually with me.

    • @auguststudio2707
      @auguststudio2707 9 місяців тому +1

      Hmm, I'd love to hear all about your journey.

    • @auguststudio2707
      @auguststudio2707 9 місяців тому

      Hmm, I'd love to hear all about your journey.

    • @Ravisingh-hm2kx
      @Ravisingh-hm2kx 7 місяців тому

      Why God has made us ,better I would have died in my young only 😭😭😭😭.

    • @rahil5989
      @rahil5989 4 місяці тому

      ​@@Ravisingh-hm2kxwe can connect, I am from india.

  • @nexty2
    @nexty2 10 місяців тому +16

    Thank you for sharing your story. As someone who has had a similar experience this speaks to me.

  • @oliverlondon5246
    @oliverlondon5246 10 місяців тому +15

    Incredibly powerful and impactful. Thanks for sharing. No more shame!

  • @GrotrianSeiler
    @GrotrianSeiler 10 місяців тому +11

    People don’t understand it’s not a choice. Just like it’s not a choice to be straight. Someday maybe this won’t be an issue.

  • @dennissmallwood9082
    @dennissmallwood9082 9 місяців тому +5

    You have a beautiful story. I hope you are happy and loved.

  • @marknewport8151
    @marknewport8151 10 місяців тому +16

    The word "Homosexuality" was NOT in the Bible until 1946. It was an "Editorial Decision". Consider the hatred that that "Editorial Decision" has fed and the lives destroyed. The Bible is NOT inerrant, but a highly edited and modified collection of books (some discarded from the collection when they didn't fit the chosen narrative) and stories from "pre-history". "Pre-history" is a period prior to written history. How have those "Pre-history" stories changed when only communicated verbally? Consider the familiar parlor game of "Chain of Whispers". Take ten people and begin with a whisper in one ear to be shared with the next and the next. After only 10 whispers, the message is entirely different. Now take that chain of whispers and multiply its repetition over years and generations. Hate is a terrible thing and hurts millions of people, yet there is nothing more satisfying to the righteous than to Hate in the name of God.

    • @jakejackson8238
      @jakejackson8238 9 місяців тому +3

      They so enjoy putting on that ghastly, fools-no one grin as they express their “love and concern “.

  • @dbona4445
    @dbona4445 9 місяців тому +4

    Love Yourself. That says it all. Just love yourself.

  • @laidbackbeau
    @laidbackbeau 10 місяців тому +13

    Similar to my own teen years. This breaks my heart. I hate that children still have to live in silent fear, shame. 😢

  • @wendyshannon789
    @wendyshannon789 6 місяців тому +4

    Gareth, your story is powerful and impactful. My nephew came out 15 years ago, and he had the same struggles with his church and Christianity. Thank you for sharing and will be sharing this with my wonderful nephew!

  • @ozfritz69
    @ozfritz69 10 місяців тому +15

    Thank you Gareth, for your story, for the pain you experienced growing up. In my case, it was easier to remove myself from the situation (I.e. the church and sadly family as well). As you eloquently state we lived with shame. I will never lose sight of your closing words about self-love, don’t let anyone put you down so one day this shame we endured and unfortunately has left us damaged will be no more and living is living regardless of who you love. Thank you!!!🤗

  • @judesharvin4238
    @judesharvin4238 2 роки тому +27

    Illuminating, Intelligent and moving. Gareth, you’re exceptional

  • @MiKe_Az2
    @MiKe_Az2 9 місяців тому +4

    Accepting ourselves is the best way to live fulfulling life!❤
    I hope your message reaches to every person out there 🙏

  • @alanthompson9871
    @alanthompson9871 9 місяців тому +4

    Thank you so much for your words. I am grateful for them and I know they will help many (including those of us who have already gone through what you have)

  • @franklinshouse8719
    @franklinshouse8719 10 місяців тому +14

    Very well said. A great story. The shame you feel is the direct result of religion. Religion poisons everything. Coming out is hard enough, but adding religious shame to it makes it all the more difficult. I hope you can continue down the path you are on, with or without religion. Btw, I'm an MD from the US.

    • @LemarSipes
      @LemarSipes 9 місяців тому

      Well one of the worst religions of the world is Humanism of which you embrace. Human nature is the most vile since it is separation & rebellion from the Creator. It is just as bad as those who believe they are religious yet live as humanists

    • @garymagruder7154
      @garymagruder7154 9 місяців тому +4

      My male partner (husband) now in the U.S. have been faithfully together for sixty years . We are now in our eighties. Together forever, EDLOVESGARY

    • @Pk-wu9tl
      @Pk-wu9tl 5 місяців тому

      @@garymagruder7154we need people like this ❤

  • @upsupeter
    @upsupeter Рік тому +30

    God made you just the way you are.
    There is no shame in that remember this life in not a choice. Your perfect go live your life and be happy. ❤

    • @LemarSipes
      @LemarSipes 9 місяців тому +1

      This is true. God mage me a pyrimaniac, I love to burn things down. I was born this way, always loved matches as a kid then explosives. I go to church and feel no guilt, I didn't choose to be this way

    • @ludovicleprinceroyal8721
      @ludovicleprinceroyal8721 9 місяців тому

      @@LemarSipes proud of you....as long as you're not Irish

  • @FinianSeaberg
    @FinianSeaberg Рік тому +10

    Thank you so much for sharing that! As a side note, I have always loved the Irish accent and I could listen to you talk all day!

  • @selispeks
    @selispeks 10 місяців тому +9

    My exact thought after finishing this: "That was beautiful. Thank you ❤" I couldn't say more. Just so beautiful. Thank you ❤

  • @martiansonmaui1749
    @martiansonmaui1749 Рік тому +17

    Thank you for sharing your experiences, Gareth. I hope you are finding happiness on your own terms.

  • @xzavierhamlet265
    @xzavierhamlet265 2 роки тому +34

    Thank you for the beautiful message and story ❤️

  • @thestickgatherer
    @thestickgatherer 11 місяців тому +9

    Wow! Incredibly powerful. Relatable. Thank you for sharing. Very appreciated.

  • @carolbell4811
    @carolbell4811 3 роки тому +23

    No, you can't, nor should you. I would accept my child and love him or her.

  • @YananoBere
    @YananoBere 2 роки тому +37

    This is so beautiful and illuminating ❤️

  • @crisvelundertale2159
    @crisvelundertale2159 10 місяців тому +9

    i really like the musicality of his voice

  • @charlesjohnston1506
    @charlesjohnston1506 10 місяців тому +4

    Thank you for your beautiful testimony. I hope you will share again.

  • @chuckvaughn
    @chuckvaughn Рік тому +12

    I'm sorry you had this path to travel. I hope you are doing well today. God loves you.
    Exudes international hurt too many.
    Hugs to you.

  • @cantstopthefeed
    @cantstopthefeed 10 місяців тому +8

    Awesome talk man!

  • @roysmallian2889
    @roysmallian2889 10 місяців тому +7

    What a Wonderfully spoken understanding of his life condition. He speaks poetry.

  • @shaunkilpatrick2113
    @shaunkilpatrick2113 10 місяців тому +7

    Thank you! ♥May we all live in love ♥

  • @lesperonis1146
    @lesperonis1146 Рік тому +11

    Well done Gareth ! You spoke the truth from your "Heart" ❤ not the interlect from the head ! Thank you for sharing this with world ,I can only imagine the massive amount of people that you have helped by telling this spiritual truth. 🙂👏

  • @sweetbb125
    @sweetbb125 11 місяців тому +10

    Thank you for telling your story, it could easily have been me talking for the most part. It is a more universal story than what society would like to believe or admit.

  • @tolstoy431
    @tolstoy431 11 місяців тому +5

    Indeed beautiful spoken...NO more shame....you of all people should be Happy....because you struggled far to long....I hope you will find Your Man as soon as possible....Let your SOULS be Free FINALLY....And DON,T let anyone Hurt your PRECIOUS SOUL AGAIN.....EVER....❤❤❤

  • @johndurham1633
    @johndurham1633 10 місяців тому +4

    Thank you for shining light & hope

  • @davidolien2828
    @davidolien2828 10 місяців тому +4

    You are an incredibly gifted human being

  • @gmcm7432
    @gmcm7432 3 роки тому +39

    Proud of you for this, Gareth

  • @johnpresley4108
    @johnpresley4108 Рік тому +7

    You seem like such a good dude, wish you were my friend. Cheers from the Us, Oklahoma City to be exact. Hof bless you for your courage man. Seem like a wonderful dude.👍❤️

  • @johnpresley4108
    @johnpresley4108 Рік тому +7

    Love you so much man, my lifes been a lot like that mate, thank you for your story/sharing

  • @davidjaslow6458
    @davidjaslow6458 9 місяців тому +3

    A breathtaking presentation. You are amazing. You would be a perfect partner for some lucky guy. Dave

  • @tenorchazz4274
    @tenorchazz4274 2 роки тому +16

    BEAUTIFUL!!! 🙏🏾👏🏾

  • @cainen6355
    @cainen6355 10 місяців тому +4

    Intense, with a very inspiring and uplifting conclusion.

  • @gsxrcharlie
    @gsxrcharlie 8 місяців тому +1

    Thank you so much for sharing your story and powerful message. I also grew up in a N Irish evangelical church and could identify with everything you said. Thankfully, I eventually saw the light and freed myself of the shackles of their loveless dogma and judgement. Keep living in the light Gareth, the light that is you and your kindness to yourself and to those around you.

  • @mnarmstrongii
    @mnarmstrongii 10 місяців тому +4

    I love and respect you, my friend ❤

  • @sandrew255
    @sandrew255 8 місяців тому +2

    Just fantastic. I’m in awe of you. ❤

  • @tuneaddicted
    @tuneaddicted 10 місяців тому +5

    Gorgeous man. So brave too

  • @philiplovings9810
    @philiplovings9810 10 місяців тому +4

    People NEED TO REALIZE that NOT ALL PRIZES WON are MADE OF GOLD ( etc ) !

  • @danielwilda8167
    @danielwilda8167 10 місяців тому +9

    What a brave beautiful strong MAN you are! Best wishes for a joyful life and t freedom from shame that is yours to enjoy who you were created by God to be! Much love to you my Brother 🌈👍🙋‍♂️⭐️💪🏳️‍🌈💜🇺🇸✝️❤️

  • @billligon4005
    @billligon4005 9 місяців тому +1

    You are so well spoken, your talents lie in teaching/writing/acting and YES loving someone special. It all gets better - much better just you wait in see.

  • @user-nt8ph1ot5j
    @user-nt8ph1ot5j 10 місяців тому +5

    I like this handsome cute boy, and I hope I have a boyfriend like him❤

  • @jakebe4915
    @jakebe4915 10 місяців тому +4

    Find your own God and find your true SELF....You will be happy at the end, trust me. BRAVO PRESENTATION.

  • @auguststudio2707
    @auguststudio2707 9 місяців тому +2

    Thank you!

  • @rickgelb2213
    @rickgelb2213 10 місяців тому +6

    This man is amazing ❤😊😊😊❤

  • @user-kc2oy4qp1v
    @user-kc2oy4qp1v 10 місяців тому +7

    That someone should go through this journey of shame is the real son. I was raised Roman Catholic and as soon as as I was 18 and went off to college I turned by back on all the nonsense of the church and all religions, as they are all cults. You can be an evolved human without all their manipulative nonsense.

  • @alasdairmacmillan5359
    @alasdairmacmillan5359 Рік тому +12

    Bravo

  • @alexandreweber1024
    @alexandreweber1024 Рік тому +6

    God bless you man ❤

  • @geronarhu3107
    @geronarhu3107 Рік тому +5

    bless your heart

  • @PeBoVision
    @PeBoVision 10 місяців тому +3

    By the teachings of your own faith, you are exactly as god wished you to be.

  • @lorenzobianchini4415
    @lorenzobianchini4415 9 місяців тому +2

    Very well said ❤

  • @DaRyteJuan
    @DaRyteJuan 10 місяців тому +3

    Learn to meditate and you will discover you stop seeking love and approval from the outside. Love yourself first to set the example. Shame is self-generated.

  • @blinkburrito7101
    @blinkburrito7101 7 місяців тому +1

    resonated so deeply to his story

  • @campbelllloyd6520
    @campbelllloyd6520 10 місяців тому +4

    Well done you.

  • @johncollins3560
    @johncollins3560 Рік тому +7

    This!! ❤❤❤

  • @randywatts6969
    @randywatts6969 4 місяці тому +1

    None of us chose it!

  • @bonsaijimmy
    @bonsaijimmy 9 місяців тому +2

    I applaud your courage , sympathise with your trauma & congratulate you for being true to yourself. If you were born in Southern Ireland , you will be Catholic. If you were born in Thailand you most probably be Buddhist. I don't believe that you have to be baptised a Christian to go to Heaven. Pope Francisdeclared recently" Homosexuality is NOT a crime". If you were born in Uganda or Zimbabwe, you will be jailed or killed. God loves me & you too !

  • @brittneyhaggerty762
    @brittneyhaggerty762 2 місяці тому

    Thank you for sharing your story.

  • @David-xm3ph
    @David-xm3ph 9 місяців тому +2

    First off, you must know that in your faith belief, that God is the creator of life. He created you the way you are. And God is described as perfection. Therefore, the way you are is perfection. Believe in your purity and authentic self and embrace those ideals. Love is love and whom you love is ideal.

  • @noopinionslikeswitzerland6966
    @noopinionslikeswitzerland6966 2 роки тому +16

    I love the Scottish accent, as an American. Such a beautiful voice.

    • @edheal3246
      @edheal3246 2 роки тому +14

      It is an Irish accent BTW

    • @PS-ru2ov
      @PS-ru2ov 2 роки тому +15

      @@edheal3246 its Northern Irish

    • @harrycoplin8414
      @harrycoplin8414 2 роки тому

      PLSSSSSS😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

    • @wardenblack9734
      @wardenblack9734 Рік тому +10

      He is not Scottish! He tells us that he comes from Northern Ireland.

    • @robertcaley2671
      @robertcaley2671 Рік тому +7

      The accent is Northern Irish, actually

  • @willembissett7223
    @willembissett7223 10 місяців тому +4

    🙏

  • @David-ho6mu
    @David-ho6mu Місяць тому

    Silence serves no one. ☝️ very true. We have to be “out” …. And they ask why we still need Pride…

  • @psychiatristsarecriminals332
    @psychiatristsarecriminals332 2 роки тому +9

    The idea is to get you to get rid of yourself so straight alpha chad had more room. Get to getting.

  • @Spinksreptiles
    @Spinksreptiles 2 місяці тому

    You can shame them into being heart broken and pretend there less them… like me… I think I’ll die alone

  • @brucass93
    @brucass93 2 роки тому +7

    💙

  • @mattmas32
    @mattmas32 10 місяців тому +3

    ❤🧡💛💚💙💜

  • @BERTONI704
    @BERTONI704 8 місяців тому +1

    Fantastico
    ❤❤❤❤❤❤

  • @BERTONI704
    @BERTONI704 7 місяців тому +2

    You are so nice man so beautiful ❤❤❤
    Un hombre hermoso 😍😍💖

  • @truthhurts986
    @truthhurts986 6 місяців тому +2

    Is he still single?

  • @corgiowner436
    @corgiowner436 11 місяців тому +5

    Thank you for sharing your very poignant story.

  • @samuelgalea7679
    @samuelgalea7679 Місяць тому

    😔

  • @rajaknowles2287
    @rajaknowles2287 2 місяці тому

    Deny your self take up your cross and follow me. JESUS
    JESUS BORE YOUR SHAME.
    adultery, fornication, are also sins.
    Dont try to justify sin or expect people to validate it.
    Confess and ask Hod to free you.
    Jesus came to set the captives free not to endorse bondage.
    He who trust in himself is a.fool.
    The road to life is.Narrow.
    Stop blaming christians
    Read the bible.
    GODS WORD

  • @coolfix948
    @coolfix948 3 роки тому +2

    ನನ್ನಿಗಳು ಕರ್ನಾಟಕ ದಿಂದ

  • @andrewaway
    @andrewaway 9 місяців тому +2

    ❤❤