Nick Hancock's Football Nightmares

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  • Опубліковано 19 сер 2024
  • Used to watch this all the time when I was younger, takes me way back.
    Released around 1996, can't seem to buy it new any more so I'm going to mercilessly cling on to the 'fair use' excuse for copyright!
    Update (2020): Two bits have had to be trimmed out to comply with Content ID matches. I'd imagine this will probably happen again in the future, sorry!

КОМЕНТАРІ • 138

  • @stevecollins1988
    @stevecollins1988 Рік тому +11

    GOAT VHS.
    Nostalgia through the roof.

  • @Marmadukeduke24
    @Marmadukeduke24 8 років тому +58

    my most watched VHS of all time - thanks for the upload

    • @andyhornhornhorn
      @andyhornhornhorn 3 роки тому +3

      Same here. Watched it at least 200 times.

    • @fman02
      @fman02 3 роки тому +1

      Mine was Debbie Does Dallas.

    • @oldschool8330
      @oldschool8330 2 роки тому +2

      Same.
      As a 12 year old I think I repeated “he’s clear, he’s clear, he’s clearly a twat” at least 100 times.

  • @Maradonaldinho
    @Maradonaldinho 11 місяців тому +8

    Had this on VHS as a kid, watched it over and over... Noah Hickey is a legend!

    • @tobiasblackmoar
      @tobiasblackmoar 11 місяців тому +3

      literally same here! just randomly had a flashback and cant believe i found it here and other people had the same experience!

  • @L-MAdv
    @L-MAdv 4 роки тому +33

    4:38 “A long-through ball. The number 11’s on it. He’s clear.... he’s clear.... he’s clearly a twat!” That’s one of my favourite quotes in this video! 😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @ScreenBlaster13
      @ScreenBlaster13 2 роки тому +6

      "And the keeper's said something to him, but he's missed that as well." 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @GaelicMagyar
      @GaelicMagyar Рік тому +2

      @@ScreenBlaster13 My favorite bit!

    • @Calsonic8899
      @Calsonic8899 4 місяці тому

      😂😂 savage

  • @rojbalc77
    @rojbalc77 6 років тому +71

    The 3 down votes were all from Peter Devine

    • @jayparmo2284
      @jayparmo2284 3 роки тому +1

      pretty sure one of them is david james.

    • @grieverzer0416
      @grieverzer0416 Рік тому +3

      He actually meant to press it 10 times, but he kept missing and gave up

    • @Calsonic8899
      @Calsonic8899 4 місяці тому

      That’s Peter … Devine

  • @Ryanoliver1709
    @Ryanoliver1709 Рік тому +6

    Used to watch this constantly on video as a kid! Bringing back memories

  • @MrBassman91
    @MrBassman91 6 років тому +18

    "This is the first time ever George Best has turned down a shag" 😅 I had this on VHS 1st time I've watched it for 15 years + Nick Hancock was excellent at this, very underrated presenter. I used to love 'They Think it's all over'

    • @oldschool8330
      @oldschool8330 2 роки тому

      Imagine the PC brigade heads would explode if they ever saw an episode of that on the bbc nowadays.

  • @revivedfears
    @revivedfears 6 років тому +21

    Fantastic defending here from the Great Crappo

  • @Taberesc
    @Taberesc 3 роки тому +4

    My kids were playing a game I never heard of the other day called “what time is it Mr. Wolf” and I was instantly transported to Scotland Zaire 1974.
    “Zaire’s defending of free kicks was based on an ancient game of “what time is it Mr. Wolf” between Congleton and Hull.”

    • @Taberesc
      @Taberesc 2 місяці тому +1

      In case you were wondering, Congleton won.

  • @Ruthypops1
    @Ruthypops1 7 років тому +7

    Genuinely hilarious video, there isn't a better football video thats ever been made. Hancock's comments and his delivery of them really are superb.

  • @DarkLight753
    @DarkLight753 6 років тому +8

    5:10 "Who does he get to celebrate it with? An extra from The Sweeney with an umbrella" - Spat my drink out laughing at that. Bloody awesome.

  • @gromcom
    @gromcom 3 роки тому +6

    What a goal by Dalian Atkinson. R.I.P

    • @Matt_matt1
      @Matt_matt1 2 місяці тому

      Police officer got 8 years for holding his taser for 33 (thirty three) seconds and booting him in the head with steel toe caps twice.

  • @thisisdomedy
    @thisisdomedy 5 років тому +3

    This was my favourite VHS growing up, got it on DVD now as well but so happy that so many people felt the same about it!

  • @johnhetherington4717
    @johnhetherington4717 Рік тому +1

    Watched this so many times as a kid. The Nordic dancing gets me every time

  • @vinnee883
    @vinnee883 6 місяців тому +1

    Watched this a million times as a kid. Peter Devine.

  • @rossomac21
    @rossomac21 3 роки тому +6

    This is a perfect relic of the "if you want to see crap football, you have to buy a vhs compilation" era.
    I must have watched this a hundred times when I was a child.
    I feel the gay joke is justabout ok as I imagine it's the reaction anyone would have if someone gave them a lift and put their hand on their leg. More uncomfortable than disgusted.
    The words "Peter Devine" cannot be said in my mind in my own voice. It turns into Nick Hancock's voice without fail.
    Edit: I am a bit upset that with the French football being cut out, we lose "and he has the misfortune... of being Roger Cook"
    The "3am in Tonga" joke has somewhat rang true, what with 12:30pm kick offs to accommodate China and Thailand etc.

  • @rjellcome
    @rjellcome 8 років тому +8

    God I watched this so many times growing up on VHS

  • @andrewkates1321
    @andrewkates1321 3 роки тому +9

    Who’s here before or after listening to the Quickly Kevin watch-along?!

    • @NoveltyBobble
      @NoveltyBobble 3 роки тому

      Some of those gags have not aged well!

  • @rossomac21
    @rossomac21 3 роки тому +1

    "I said "Stoke?" He said "yeah!!"
    The delivery is magic.

  • @sven_bender
    @sven_bender 10 місяців тому +1

    10:30 - this part used to crack me up as a kid
    Ripley, Hendry, Crossley, badly!
    ...lonely

  • @matthewpople9639
    @matthewpople9639 Рік тому +2

    Me and a school friend got this vhs free on the front of total sport magazine. We used to quote it over and over

  • @daveyhal
    @daveyhal 3 роки тому +1

    I used to watch this all the time on vhs when I was a kid. Huge sense of nostalgia watching it now!

  • @tresorlomana
    @tresorlomana 4 роки тому +2

    Man I really appreciate you uploading this, I used to watch it on repeat when I had the vhs as a kid in the 90s

  • @nonamebill7421
    @nonamebill7421 2 роки тому +2

    A Stoke city game being rescheduled for broadcast in a foreign country but not in the UK. A throwaway joke on a football bloopers tape in 1996. But a reality in 2022.

  • @asd36f
    @asd36f 9 років тому +6

    10:33 - Crossley, badly, lonely - LOL
    15:32 & 21:38 - the defenders picked their spot and didn't give their goalkeeper a chance
    27:09 - The most bizarre save I have ever seen
    30:40 - Adding injury to insult
    37:56 - They've seen more of the ball than Carlton Palmer did during his England career - pure gold
    42:30 - Has the goalkeeper who scored this fantastic goal ever been identified?

  • @darrenlamb6279
    @darrenlamb6279 8 місяців тому +1

    Have a go shag, he’s off his line. That line hit me like a ton of bricks. I forgot about that line but I used to love it when I was 12 watching this.

  • @jamesgoodison6135
    @jamesgoodison6135 10 років тому +6

    More white hot Ulster League action. Superb. Shame this hasn't got the crazy French Ref?! Used to watch this VHS all the time. Cheers for uploading.

    • @sports872
      @sports872 3 роки тому

      Wonder why it’s missing 😢

    • @mrmoonshine7550
      @mrmoonshine7550 7 днів тому

      This bloke could irritate Jeremy beadle

  • @joemorris1282
    @joemorris1282 3 роки тому +4

    Ripley, Hendry, Crossley, BADLY....Lonely 😄

  • @Taberesc
    @Taberesc 7 років тому

    Loved this with years. Funniest comments ever made about football. Hancock was indeed on fire for this. Always come back and laugh as hard as the first time. Brilliant.

  • @OfficialFingazMC
    @OfficialFingazMC 3 роки тому +2

    Got this for Christmas when it came out and loved it. Only just remembered it as Port Vale (yes I know Nick is Stoke) are playing Carlisle, who have got a player called Devine. And who could forget that Peter Devine penalty from this video!

  • @sammykivett2548
    @sammykivett2548 8 років тому +1

    Thank you so much for posting these, childhood memories

  • @chrisduncan5842
    @chrisduncan5842 6 років тому +10

    "Look left....look right.....look like a prat"

  • @angels77100
    @angels77100 4 роки тому +5

    What ever happened to Nick Hancock? He was a great presenter on They think it's all over.

    • @twright1983
      @twright1983 4 роки тому

      He was in an episode of midsomer murders in 2018

  • @PhilosophyTube
    @PhilosophyTube 7 років тому +27

    I wonder why so many people watched this as kids?? I used to watch the VHS religiously too even though I had and still have absolutely no interest in football lol. I guess I enjoyed hearing him talk so passionately but not having a clue who any of the people he was mentioning are
    The bit about Dave being gay plays a bit differently now mind. Times move on I guess

    • @andrewistheotter
      @andrewistheotter 6 років тому +2

      Think it was free with a paper or magazine. Brilliant

    • @charlieblue2987
      @charlieblue2987 3 роки тому

      I had this on vhs it was brilliant

    • @15-Peter-20
      @15-Peter-20 2 роки тому

      You're beautiful x

    • @peterclapton625
      @peterclapton625 2 роки тому

      I had it as a kid as well and watched it all the time. I remember almost every joke Nick Hancock makes. Before he says them. I think I still have the VHS at my mums house somewhere?

  • @VesicABand
    @VesicABand 9 років тому +4

    owned this as a teenager great memories thanks!

  • @MrBannystar
    @MrBannystar 10 років тому

    Thanks for uploading! Great memories watching this when I was younger, and great memories of football all those years ago.

  • @cpfcolly22
    @cpfcolly22 10 років тому +1

    I love you for uploading this. Pure class

  • @sven_bender
    @sven_bender 10 місяців тому +1

    Yoooo the memories 🥰 poor Peter Devine

  • @aagrille7222
    @aagrille7222 3 роки тому +17

    “He’s clear, he’s clear, he’s clearly a TWAT!!!😂

    • @paulgriffin5120
      @paulgriffin5120 3 роки тому +1

      And the keepers said something, but he has missed that as well!!!!

    • @Calsonic8899
      @Calsonic8899 3 роки тому +1

      haha brilliant ... my favourite line of the video :)

  • @JustSam_96
    @JustSam_96 6 місяців тому +1

    What a throwback

  • @TonyMontana-fz4io
    @TonyMontana-fz4io 5 років тому

    My greatest vhs of all time. Nick Hancock was brilliant

  • @Elhombredelsacodivertido_91
    @Elhombredelsacodivertido_91 9 років тому

    You are a legend for putting this up. I also used to watch this when I was younger.

  • @runningsuperska
    @runningsuperska 6 років тому

    Thanks for the upload. I had this on VHS and the nostalgia is sweet.

  • @sadiswan
    @sadiswan 10 років тому +1

    I've still got this on VHS somewhere at my mothers place. This was pretty much the best blooper reel to come out. Watch the Neil Morrissey one at your own risk (footballers behaving badly istr). Good memories =]

    • @sports872
      @sports872 Рік тому

      I watched a bit of the Bradley Walsh football bloopers - was not bad.

  • @AbefromanKC
    @AbefromanKC 5 років тому

    Thank you for this! I have it on vhs but no vhs player. Used to watch this as a kid, havent seen it in decades

  • @SSBluefoxx
    @SSBluefoxx 10 років тому

    so pleased to see this i loveddd watching this as a kid

  • @rossomac21
    @rossomac21 3 роки тому +3

    "He's clear... he's clear.... he's clearly a twat."
    Simple but brilliant.

  • @L-MAdv
    @L-MAdv 2 роки тому +1

    2:25 “Look left….. look right….. look like a prat!” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @neilleslie9776
    @neilleslie9776 3 роки тому

    Amazing uploads. Now just need to find an upload of ‘and Smith must score’ and the 90s vhs nostalgia is complete

  • @SixEightySeven
    @SixEightySeven Рік тому

    36:39 Linfield v Glentoran Nordic Dancing is a thing of beauty

  • @suchomimus9921
    @suchomimus9921 Рік тому +1

    Amazing how despite not having watched this since I was in like 1999, I can still remember "he's clear ... he's clear .... he's clearly a twat!" and "it's bad enough having to look at Steve Ogrizovic's face without being asked to look at his arse"

  • @PotRipp3r
    @PotRipp3r 3 роки тому

    I used to have this on VHS, great upload. 👍

  • @joshlowers4691
    @joshlowers4691 2 місяці тому

    Childhood every weekend in a nutshell ❤

  • @adamfizz
    @adamfizz 2 роки тому +1

    RIP Dalian Atkinson

  • @kadi8456
    @kadi8456 5 років тому +1

    omg i stole the vhs from my geography teachers collection way back in 1998. jesus this was gold

    • @StoutProper
      @StoutProper 3 роки тому +1

      What were you doing at your geography teachers house?

  • @reddeadsinister6969
    @reddeadsinister6969 6 років тому +3

    Grrr can’t believe they cut so much from the original vhs version!

    • @cj1812011
      @cj1812011 5 років тому

      Probably to stop it getting taken down for copyright

    • @CalamityJames.
      @CalamityJames.  4 роки тому +1

      I had to trim two sections out this year due to Content ID matches, but this is ripped from the DVD version which indeed is shorter than the VHS one. Probably licensing issues or something.

  • @AngryBulldogg
    @AngryBulldogg 6 місяців тому +1

    20.45 Random Geordie fella, "wadda say man"

  • @laughingatbirds
    @laughingatbirds 9 років тому +1

    trip down memory lane, a favourite on our school football trips. anybody else get the vhs free with a copy of 4-4-2?

  • @ox2369
    @ox2369 Рік тому

    Saw a sign for Stoke Poges on the road, that's what brought me here.

  • @ScreenBlaster13
    @ScreenBlaster13 2 роки тому

    2:25 "Look left. Look right. Look like a Prat!" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @A-R-17
    @A-R-17 Рік тому +1

    I lost count the amount of times I watched this on video when I was young. One of the best Christmas presents ever. Am I imagining this or are there some parts of this video missing? Maybe my memory is playing tricks on me or i'm getting this mixed up with another video but I could have sworn there were some more bits in the VHS I had.

    • @CalamityJames.
      @CalamityJames.  Рік тому

      You're spot on! Not only did the DVD cut some bits out compared to the VHS version (I assume due to some rights issue) but I also got a couple of flags from various content providers which required me to cut a few more sections out to keep the video live!

  • @scoo4912
    @scoo4912 9 років тому +1

    Loved this. Cheers!

  • @matthewkelly4319
    @matthewkelly4319 10 років тому +3

    Chilaveeeeee-eeeeeeeeerrrtt goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooolllll

  • @adamwhitehead3614
    @adamwhitehead3614 3 роки тому +1

    Quickly Kevin brought me here

  • @fifa3008
    @fifa3008 9 років тому +2

    This Version is missing some bits. Especially this goal at the end. I am 99% sure it was on the VHS version but not this. One of my favourite parts of the video.
    but basile boli om-psg 1993

  • @JD-vq7nu
    @JD-vq7nu 4 роки тому +1

    Thanks for uploading. Many Saturday mornings would be wasted watching this. How did you converge this to digital? I have a few vhs from that era id love to have on demand (fantasy football league etc)

    • @CalamityJames.
      @CalamityJames.  4 роки тому +1

      HI, thanks for the comment and glad to hear other people with fond memories of this video!
      I did have it on VHS a long way back, but I actually found this (and the other two videos he released) on DVD some years back. They have a few things missing when compared to the VHS version (and a few more bits I've subsequently had to crop out of the video due to copyright claims from FIFA) but being on DVD it made it pretty straightforward to get it onto UA-cam!

  • @chriscassam5254
    @chriscassam5254 7 років тому

    I had this on video as a kid

  • @thomasjones2415
    @thomasjones2415 2 роки тому

    Pure Class

  • @OfficialFingazMC
    @OfficialFingazMC 11 місяців тому +1

    How come certain bits were cut? I presume copyright, but I thought I'd ask...?

  • @AlexSmith-ov6fk
    @AlexSmith-ov6fk 4 роки тому

    I don't have time to watch the whole thing, but is the Nordic two step bit with the teams playing with a white ball in a blizzard on here? Hilarious, that bit

  • @AntonisBerkakisMotionPictures
    @AntonisBerkakisMotionPictures 9 років тому +3

    Epic Zaire players!!!

  • @multiplatinum400
    @multiplatinum400 9 років тому +2

    I've eaten Pizza in his house.

  • @paullewin570
    @paullewin570 7 років тому

    Thanks for the upload, I used to love this video (VHS) as a kid!! What was the other one called?

  • @Calsonic8899
    @Calsonic8899 3 роки тому +1

    28:14 haha the goalkeeper :)

  • @garybrew9427
    @garybrew9427 7 років тому +1

    btw does anyone remember this vid being free in a magazine? ??!

  • @christhegreat8096
    @christhegreat8096 2 роки тому

    Superb ❤️

  • @Shank88
    @Shank88 10 років тому

    great shout

  • @jayparmo2284
    @jayparmo2284 3 роки тому +1

    an extra from the sweeney xD

  • @hakc97again
    @hakc97again Рік тому

    Is the keeper at 14:19 Gabor Kiraly? I think it is with the tracksuit

  • @andrewwebster2598
    @andrewwebster2598 3 роки тому +1

    “He’s clear, he’s clear, he’s clearly a twat”

  • @shane-irish
    @shane-irish 2 роки тому

    Its the guy from goodfellows

  • @15-Peter-20
    @15-Peter-20 2 роки тому

    Shay Given the only Irish man not to know where Ireland is

  • @chrisduncan7954
    @chrisduncan7954 5 років тому

    Got the DVD version. Why did they cut 10 minutes worth from the VHS version?

  • @callumboscoe8685
    @callumboscoe8685 4 роки тому +2

    HITC sport?

  • @mrraoulandtheking11
    @mrraoulandtheking11 Рік тому

    That’s probably why Dave went to the garden centre with his girlfriend instead

  • @15-Peter-20
    @15-Peter-20 2 роки тому

    Ahhhh VHS

  • @colinjennings3661
    @colinjennings3661 4 роки тому +1

    Worst but of acting since Ali was in East enders😁

  • @eduardoabarca6021
    @eduardoabarca6021 3 роки тому

    HITC sport sent me

  • @RforR16
    @RforR16 2 роки тому

    Just curious, why did they remove the French clips?

  • @jcreedy
    @jcreedy 4 роки тому

    Do you happen to know if a bit that was clipped was an amazing team goal by a team in white, right at the end of the VHS?

    • @waingro485
      @waingro485 4 роки тому

      Yes it was, all french league clips were removed from the dvd release for some reason.

    • @KevBrown1984
      @KevBrown1984 3 роки тому +1

      Yeah, an amazing Basile Boli diving header for Marseille against PSG.

  • @theohaigy
    @theohaigy 8 років тому

    Oh quality! I'll be pinching this with video downloader before the copyshite police take it away!

  • @matthewbradley-flackett1542
    @matthewbradley-flackett1542 10 років тому

    Sooooo funny

  • @2112dim
    @2112dim 9 років тому

    3:06 - 3:26 soccer molestment!

  • @dean7879
    @dean7879 3 роки тому

    2:26

  • @matthewkelly4319
    @matthewkelly4319 10 років тому +3

    Chilaveeeeee-eeeeeeeeerrrtt goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooolllll