Destiny Talks About Pronouns (Fan Email, Clocking, Neopronouns)
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- Опубліковано 28 сер 2024
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►Date: 9 Apr, 2022
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incredible how mr girl and lauren northern stayed completely still for 8 minutes
very good take from emailer on pronouns, a nice way to think about it imo. i'd add that the main problem with xenogenders is how they appropriate the word "gender" and real struggles of transgender ppl for their unrelated identities. you can feel some kinda connection to vampires or deers, but that has nothing to do with gender.
man i don't even think they do connect to vampires or deers, they actually just projecting meaning on those things. they connect with the idea they "aren't human"
@@bluebarrymore5442 To me it's like gender astrology. In the same way astrology clings to astronomy to try and legitimize itself this neo/xeno stuff clings to real LGBT/gender discourse. To me there's no difference between saying "I'm a Virgo" and "I'm Niveigender".
@@SubtleHawk agreed
we've gotten to the point where that dumb gamer bro meme "i identify as [insert unfunny thing here]" is somewhat palpable. i also don't think it's a coincidence that every person that claims to be dream gender or whatever else is under 18. my theory is that these people are groomed by the gay space into becoming "unique." i used to be in that space because of my friends and there's so much stigma if you're straight or cis. i'm sure 13/14 year olds probably look at the insane stereotyping that happens in this community and think "well, i'm not as boring as straight people! i'm not as ignorant as cis people! i must be x or y!"
it's also why so many girls lie about being bi (yes this is actually a thing). cis women are in that space as much as gay people and they probably see these memes or stereotypes as much as anyone else. add that to the fact that complimenting the same sex is more common and never seen as anything weird as a woman and they probably take that as a sign of liking the same sex. it all boils down to people wanting validation. ok, schizo posting over
@@ae-qw5xi i have heard people unironically claim attack helicopters is a gender....
Remember when the skeptic community was saying that the LGBT would have people that identify as attack helicopters and leftists were saying that's a gross hyperbolization of the issue?
As a leftist, I'm upset that we somehow lost that one...
Neo pronouns existed then and they haven’t really grown in popularity since. Literally nothing has changed
I still think the attack helicopter meme is a gross hyperbolization. Actually, that feels like an understatement. Or have you seen a lot of helicopter-gender people lately?
The way I remember it the attack helicopter thing was never about people eventually wanting to idenify as attack helicopters if we allow trans people, but rather syaing "you identify as a woman (in refference to a trans woman), well I identify as an attack helicopter and those are equally reasonable." It's sad to see some leftist now thinking the same thing.
@@ellewilliams5162 They grew enough where I know about them, for starters. To pretend like nothing's changed when people identify as deer on Twitch is head-in-the-sand behavior.
@@akikoivunoksa635 It is a hyperbolization, but now it's closer to reality than it needs to be.
It's wild how many content happened while he was playing Elden Ring.
*how much content
well he played it so often
@Char Aznable 10 vig isn't even the equivalent of 10 vig in other souls games considering how long this game is. He should've at least done 20 vig
@Char Aznable I’m sorry, but beating the game with ten vigor and a melee build gives you a “good” pass in my opinion.
How many content was it tho?
Hats off to the editor, really appreciate the additional context!
huh, what additional context was there?
@@miikavuorio6925 none
That email was extremely well written
Language exists to facilitate communication, forcing people to change away from using accurate intuitive descriptive language to the opposite just to appease with who js in a permanently fragile mental state is irrational, and foolish, and most of all it hurts the children who witness our cognitive dissonance and hypocrisy
Well fucking said my guy
I've always thought of social dysphoria as being a byproduct of physical dysphoria
I get dysphoria from being referred to with pronouns other than they/them so it isn’t always
being uncomfortable in public? There are infinite amount of things to worry about, but fitting in or knowing what you’re doing in situation I feel is pretty common.
But if you keep adding nuance to these issues, it'll mean I might no longer be able to scream transphobe at people who don't identify me with the aesthetics of a vampire!! STOP
Nah it doesnt matter, just call anyone a transphobe who disagrees with you, the twitter left will back you no matter how false it is.
Shorthand for the uninitiated: “If I’m not passing as the sex I would prefer to present as what’s the point?”
I've been saying a very similar thing since day one.
There are obvious genders like he, she, sometimes "they" even though that's a bit of a stretch.
And everything else is damn near synonymous with personality. If I don't recognize your personality at a glance, you don't get offended. Why on earth would anybody treat such a nebulous concept as "gender identity" any differently. It's actually insane and incredibly narcissistic.
This . . . Perfect.
I would argue that people DO get very offended when personality isn't recognized. In fact, the entire twitter battle is people getting upset where we see things like "You don't even know me" battles.
@@Doeyhead I wouldn't point to Twitter as an example of healthy human behavior or interaction. Like, ever.
@@undeadman7676 You said it didn't happen. It does happen, like all the time.
They isn't a stretch.
What a sad testament to the times we live in that the most important political topic for young people are what pronouns apply to 0.001% of the population
Say it louder for those in the back.
Word my nigga. Word
is that really the most important problem? or just something they care about
I think maybe you see it and it bothers you so it feels more present than it actually is. It is not the pressing issue by far.
@@alexglass818 that is an ironic statement considering the fact that you yourself just commented on a video dedicated to that very topic
The email Destiny was reading out about mental models has made me realize that I have no real mental model of myself beyond the fact that I exist and absorb outside stimulus. I feel like a Schrödinger's cat where everything from my mental state to self-identification is in flux and the only stability I can find in it all is when other people observe me. I have no clue what this means for myself, and never really questioned that feeling prior to now and I'm not even sure I fully understand what I mean when I say that, it just feels like when I try to think about myself, I end up running logic loops till I don't wanna think anymore. It's really strange.
You think therefore you are
Npc moment
@@evaahh9584 I mean there's gotta be SOMEONE who isn't trying to be a main character, right? lmao
You’re a man
@@Sumilidonuser doesn't that make you that one unique character then, in a world filled with people who feel they're the mc of their own story?
Not sure if it's a hot take but I don't think you can be trans unless you experience gender dysphoria or have experienced it for a prolonged time. Anyone else just trying to bandwagon and do the flavor of the month thing
Destiny when he has a new idea that he wants to bring up: Yeah so i just got an email
I was in the Destiny discord and asked if genderfluid people had to have their pronouns respected if they changed it hourly or daily and they said yes.
I disagree
Fucking hate this. It's such an obvious lie, if they had to live with a person like this they would obviously eventually get fed up and tell the person to shut the fuck up
In most situations like that gender-fluid people usually present themselves in ways that you'd be able to tell whether they were he she or they in that moment
@@caimaccass6911 what does a they look like?
@@lordmew5 the way someone is posed or the clothes they might change that day or moment to reflect how they feel in that moment, some people even change the way they speak to reflect the gender that they are presenting at the moment. In reality there's actually quite a few gender-fluid people who try to prevent as their original gender certain social situations but reflect their true Jen and if they really feel outside of that.
Well I'm not an expert on the subject I do believe it's really interesting and should not be the subject of ridicule but that's just me gender identity is a very complex subject and there could be a lot of Bad actors but I do believe some people are just trying to live their lives and could use a little help trying to feel comfortable in their own skin as we all have our own issues and it always feels great to have somebody supporting you and in your corner.
Gender critical people always hold up the idea of genderfluids that change by the second as an example of how ridiculous it all is, but how common are those people actually? Gendergluid people who are fluid to that degree are so far in the minority you're unlikely to every meet them. Most genderfluids recognise it can be confusing and are very patient and understanding and present themselves in a manner that makes it easier.
I identify as an 80's popular high school student. My pronouns are Ferris/Bueller .
Definitely a really good take on pronouns from that emailer. I do think one thing they missed is just how vastly peoples' understanding of pronouns differ. That person seems to have the understanding that there IS a reasonable amount of social construction attached even to the usage of he/she, therefore when someone describes them using the wrong one, there is a legitimate misconception about who they are. However, at least in the conservative circles I run in, it is incredibly rare for anyone to be describing anything more than the expected genitalia based on observed secondary sex characteristics, meaning there is no description of who you are that can be a mistake. The "Payload of information about their mental model of us" (1:40) that is described is specific to the people who have bought in to the trans/pronoun movement, and I argue that this encourages the exact same kind of toxic gender enforcement, just with more labels, that created the movement in the first place.
When interacting with people who have the understanding of "pronouns refer to genitalia", for many people it feels better to have a perception that the person you're talking to associates you with genitalia that are socially expected to be congruent with your gender identity. Not the case for everyone and not ideal in comparison to correct gendering between people with a shared understanding of gender, but usually it feels better to be (or to believe you are) assigned social expectations that are more congruent with your identity than being associated with expectations you're more incongruous with. There's a sizable amount of people who are looking forward to living in cultures that have done away with genitalia to social role associations, but for now we have to deal with people making this connection and we want their understanding of us to be compatible with how we function socially (instead of solely how we function anatomically, when the two may clash in these cases).
@@Rose_in_Blue I really appreciate you doing exactly what I was referring to. The point I am trying to make is that, for a lot of people, there is minimal social expectation that is attached to the usage of he/she, and the social expectation that is attached is directly related to the biology that comes with the different genitalia (eg. we would have different expectations for physical prowess of someone we refer to as he compared to she due to the natural advantages males have in this area). Put another way, in these circles, the genitalia to social role association already has been done away with, we simply acknowledge that biological differences exist. When we hear people talk about societal expectations based on pronouns, it feels like a perpetuation of the current social gender roles, just with more categories to box people into.
@@amagicion5130 i don’t agree that we’ve “done away” with gender roles. maybe in a utopian society, a woman is nothing more than a person with a vagina and a man is nothing more than a person with a penis. but in reality, EVERYBODY buys into social aspects of gender in some ways. people have different expectations of men and women. many of these are subconscious. they might not all be entirely rigid, but when we refer to a person as “she” i would seriously disagree that we do not associate that with anything but a person’s physiology.
@@everyonesaidmynamewasstupi3713 Sure, I can acknowledge that that is the reality we live in. What is important is that the ideal end goal is the one where there are no social aspects of gender. The problem arises because these pronoun sensitive people are so bought in to the social link that they actively perpetuate it through their use of pronouns, literally pushing society away from that utopia.
@@amagicion5130 i think, in that case, your issue is more with the concept of transgenderism as a whole and not with sensitivity to pronouns. i can understand that position and i do agree to some extent. it feels odd to be actively pushing the idea that a person’s gender is tied to their personality, thinking, and behavior while trying to push back against those same kinds of gender roles, and it is true that these are two conflicting things.
however, the reality is, gender roles do exist. and as a symptom of the very messy way our society handles these gender roles, gender dysphoria emerges. in a utopia, nobody would need to be trans, because everybody would be free to be as they are regardless of the way they were born. but we do not live in that utopia, and so trans people do exist. but they didn’t choose this. is it fair to tell these people who are suffering under the system we all created to just hold on and suffer for a while longer while we all figure out how to fix it? i don’t think it is. so that’s my position. we can try to make progress, but in the meantime, i think we owe it to transgenders to respectfully address them in a way that makes them feel comfortable
Tbh I don’t mind neo pronouns as there only used by 25 and under autistic ppl you could even argue younger (under 18). If your willing to go around with dog pronouns or emoji pronouns then your probably to low functioning for us to reach friendship without acknowledging the power imbalance
Based
"emoji pronouns"
🤨/🤨self
@@Jodykang adhd is more of a stretch (so my bad) and it’s more so when combined with autism. I also see a lot of ppl on twt who are nd who say neo pronouns are more popular amongst ppl with Asd and or adhd but I’m less familiar with adhd and I’m not sure if their mischaracterizing adhd or not because in Online spaces adhd is treated like autism lite sometimes
My pronouns are 🔒/🔓 bitchhj
I just wish contra would double down on those takes more, instead of having to make an hour long apology video whenever she accidentally says something right lol. I wanna like her, but she panders to the far lefties too much
Right. I feel like I could have a constructive conversation about gender with contra. Meanwhile demon mama's out here defining herself as a women while saying there is no general definition of a woman to map onto (then why do you want to be one?) And Josie out here saying cis women don't understand true femininity the way trans women do.
@@emzkoe3904 "And Josie out here saying cis women don't understand true femininity the way trans women do."
I have literally no idea who this is, but to deny thousands of years of human history to substitute your post-modern drivel is insane.
@@courier4529 She is a trans twitch streamer.
And what exactly am I denying?
She's never apologized to them like that tho. She's made a few small apologies for things like wording, but never conceded her points and pointed out the pointlessness and pettiness of it all.
Her 'Cancelling' video was an exploration of Twitter mob cancelling, how and why it happens, the damage it does, and her own experience with it, it was in no way an apology video, and the crazy twitter trans are still angry about it to this day
I thought he was on a call with mrgirl and LS and was shocked at how quiet they stayed the whole time
like how he was being reasonably sarcastic then had to take it a step further to make sure everyone got the point
People can identify as whatever and whoever they want but they cannot force us to follow their delusions
1:18 the use of the word "ritual" seems pretty fitting.
This is as far as I go with Trans issues. I can work within their fiction but they cannot assume to have convinced me they're something I don't believe. I'm entirely playing along out of sympathy
What about really ugly women, you have the same stance? The REALITY doesn't match your assumption, therefore they're a woman out of sympathy alone?
Same. I feel there's several logical contradictions in gender theory and transgenderism that you see play out in the inner scisms in the community (transmedicalism and gender abolition vs self identification and enforcing gender roles as part of transition)
People will say that any intellectual disagreements you have should be kept hidden for the sake of trans people's mental health, and while they have good reason to be extra cautious, obscuring the truth about how I feel will never sit right with me.
.
I'll refer to someone by she/her he/him but that's as far as I care to go. And that's only easy for me to do if I've met that person when they're identifying as what they want to. If someone is in my circle and decides to transition, it'd be tough for me to get used to it. Also their looks decide what my subconscious does too. People think this is some evil thing but, no, if your features are dominant in one way then my brain is gonna do what it's always done and what is hardcoded into it.
I don't subscribe to the non-binary stuff. Transsexuality is all I can understand or see logic in. Things have just been pushed out to sea massively these days and you can't even see the land where you set sail from.
@@dave93x nobody disagrees... The ze zem zish zosh are viewed as crazy by 99.9% of people. Only deep rabbit hole twitter nutters fight for that.
This is a very strong email, in a good sense!
Contra passes. Thats probably makes a big difference in her experience at a bar vs. a woke circle.
So, Michael Knowles makes the same point as the trans individual, but they call him hateful and a bigot.
lmao
The emailer makes a big assumption - that correcting the use of pronouns towards someone never has anything to do with a change of perception of them, which I don't think is correct. I mean obviously some people correct out of obligation or because they are just polite, but from my understanding people who are pro-trans try to engage in good faith with the claim that the person they do not percieve as a certain gender is that gender (at least internally) and they change their perception not because they brainwash themselves or whatever but because they see self-identification as an important part of someone's gender from the get-go.
Pronoun spaces are built on that foundation of taking the communicated internal gender experience into perspective when treating someone in a gendered way, which is synonimous with a pro-trans position because a pro-trans position assumes that internal gender identity is a real thing and it should influence how we treat people. Obvously there are limits dictated by how we understand gender where I personally would say that gender identities like man, woman, something in between or neither fit within it and identities like cat, dog, Pisces or attack helicopter are not gender identities and should not be expressed through gender.
Given how the emailer's position makes the most sense if you essentialize someone's initial feelings towards another person's gender presentation and assume it cannot change in a genuine and good faith way and only due to polite self-delusion, I think they are at least somewhat transphobic, which a belief that only presentation matters is.
"There aren't many older trans people"
Kinda reminds me why there's no old wing-suit jumpers...
😳
great stuff keep up the great work!
every Jordan Peterson fan that listens to him properly already understand and come from this email's mindset/POV
"That they think of us differently than we think of ourselves - that's whats triggering the social dysphoria"
You can't control peoples perceptions of you
I don't agree with the first email on how accepting pronouns that are not assumable boils down to participating in a collective fiction of your conception of the person's identity. There are many things about a person that you cannot intuit from their immediate physical presentation and an introductory conversation, in that sense a pronoun gives you more information on what you might expect the person to behave like or what is of value to them, information that is not immediately accessible otherwise, and a neopronoun serves this purpose as well. Your conception of a person changes and is influenced by what identity they desire to go by, it's not only a verbal switch but also of expectations and behaviors.
I find a problem with this on two fronts.
1. We are moving away from assuming traits and behaviors based on the two binary genders already. There is information you can glean from whether someone uses the pronoun he/she but the culture is moving to put down those assumptions because they are heavily embedded in gender roles and biological sex.
2. What useful information could you possibly glean from someone using neopronouns outside of "they recognize these pronouns"? For example, just with gender neutral "They" the most you get from that is that they recognize these pronouns, so they probably have progressive politics, but even that can be wrong and is better ascertained by just asking directly, and that's not even a neopronoun. Outside of that, there isn't some kind of group identity or established trend that's embedded in some kind of existing idea, because neopronouns are made up and sometimes straight up unique to the individual.
This is only a sensible statement under the assumption that the people you are communicating with have a good understanding of what each neo-pronoun implies. To me, it seems like the neo-pronoun community wants society to have a massive library of information memorized so that they can describe their individuality with a simple title, rather than the normal process of actually getting to know someone to understand their individuality.
I think your point is actually not true at all, if anything when someone introuduces themselves with neopronouns or something of the sort it would not add to peoples conception of them.
Rather it will instead limit peoples ability to further their conception of that person, because they will in their heads just place them in the box of "weird people".
By that manner it only limits the person in question's social interaction with others because others will tiptoe around them, and they will notice that they are being treated differently.
@@beepboopbeepp i don’t think people tend to use them outside of certain circles. Expanding this so people don’t see those as weird I.e normalising it is what people are attempting to do.
I don’t use them myself, and I do think optics are important in terms of effectively advocating for peoples rights, but at the same time if people find usage in this then I don’t see a problem
@@ellewilliams5162 People aren't going to use them because they directly contradict the point of pronouns. They're the broadest possible way of referring to people whilst narrowing down who you're referring to. Accompany that with a point or a stare, and whoever you're communicating with might catch on to who you're referring to. If not, you need to get into what they're wearing, height, ect. If I say "bunny is a good friend of mine" and point, the other person needs to have met and know this person in order for what I just said to narrow it down. At that point, it's so narrow I might as well use a name.
If someone were to ask me to use neo pronouns I would simply refuse.
The most you'll get out of me is calling you what you look like. If I have to put on unnecessary filters to even have the simplest of conversations with you I probably won't even engage
"I'll read the two pronouns above this..."
Isn't this recycled? I could have sworn I watched this a few months ago from inside the walls next to the doorframe (on the left)
That email is only interesting if you've never touched grass in your life. Someone using your preferred pronoun after being corrected doesn't mean they perceive you any differently but it's very important social behavior that let's people know who's good faith and who is just an asshole. Pronouns are strictly about perception at first introduction but that's not the only time we use them.
"Collective fiction" might be one of the reddest flags I've seen on this topic btw
You are right that someone adjusting their speech and using the correct pronouns is a good thing and shows good faith, but if you are a trans woman who only wants to be seen as a woman, someone initially seeing you as anything but indicates a failure to pass and is mentally a pretty painful experience and realization.
While this is no longer an issue I ever deal with, earlier in transition there could be situations where I was gendered correctly by strangers all day until one person gets it wrong, and while I've never gotten angry at someone for using what they felt was the correct pronoun (under the assumption that it wasn't malicious) that event makes you rethink your ability to pass and really makes you feel like a clown. You start to wonder did everyone else see it too and just pity gender you? When I thought I looked nice did I actually look like a man? Can I even trust my own visual evaluation of myself and what I appear to be to others? Is everyone else also engaging in this "collective fiction" for the sake of my feelings despite not believing it?
In essence, when you are misgendered by someone who had no malicious intent, it implies you failed at what is the single most important thing for virtually all binary trans people and my intent here is to help you understand why that misgendering would continue to affect the trans person despite the other party doing the right thing by correcting their pronoun usage. in doing so they had unintentionally showed that they see you as a man and while genuine mistakes are not something the other party should feel particularly guilty about, it is a painful experience for the person on the receiving end because the damage and all the implications of the misgendering are still there, which is that you don't pass.
I'm not too terribly concerned if someone that knows I'm trans, doesn't view me as a woman (even if it would be preferable) and only does so to be polite, what I am concerned about is that a stranger, a coworker, or a spouse's parents see and hear a normal cis woman speaking to them and that I can keep it that way consistently without too much concern.
@@Taylolol I feel like people being harrased by trans people for innocent misgendering is way way less of a problem in general than trans people being harassed by people saying they are demanding they adhere to a collective fiction. I think it's pretty easy to misgender someone accidentally or even just casually if a friend you've known come out and you're used to addressing them differently. When that happens it shouldn't be a big deal on either part to accept it as what it was but to move forward in a reasonable way. I feel like there's more pushback to that idea on one side than the other though.
Not being trans I don't know how much this holds water but I also feel like the importance of appearance drags us backwards a bit. Obviously visual cues are our first and strongest indicators of identity and stuff but like I said before moving forward after first impressions should be easy if you aren't an asshole, and there is the responsibility on the trans person to be understanding of that if they aren't an asshole about it. I feel like the importance of being able to "clock" trans women hurts all women by subjecting them to the idea they need to hold up to beauty standards to look "good/pretty/woman enough" as if those three all meant the same thing. And of course no one cares about trans men.
@@Thunderkeg I mostly agree with you assuming I am understanding correctly, and while misgendering is definitely an easy mistake to make if the person doesn't pass, and sometimes even if they do pass but you knew them as the other gender for a long time, I hope I provided some clarity in my previous comment about the thought process in a trans person's head when that occurs and why it might lead them to lash out even if they should try to be more tolerant of mistakes. Personally if a long time friend I met after I transitioned was told I was trans and as a result accidently call me he, I wouldn't freak out on them, but it would bother me, undermine my confidence, make it difficult to feel that this person actually respects me, and ultimately the idea that this person sees me as a man would remain.
There's some truth to what you are getting at in that the emphasis on passing has some harmful downsides, but at least for binary trans women who don't want to be publicly trans we are exploiting, so to speak, and surviving in the society that we live in. This can be done just to be comfortable in your own skin and for physical safety from harm and harassment.
I like to look pretty/nice/female/etc, not only because I desire to not be seen as trans, but because it makes me happy to think I look nice, and on that end cis women who fit the stereotype of an attractive feminine woman are in their own way upholding this binary as well. To be clear, being attractive, feminine, etc is not what a woman is, and I am very familiar with the common claim against trans people that "being a woman is more than lipstick and skirts". It absolutely is more than that, but there are plenty of cis women that choose to be more feminine, or more masculine, and in my speech I have no interest in gatekeeping what a woman is, I only do what is comfortable for me and aids in being seen by others in a way that matches how I feel.
I agree completely. That also set off a red flag for me as well (was awfully close to 'delusion')
So gender is a collective fiction, but somehow also it's not when about someone choosing their own pronouns? How's that?
Interesting perspective.
"Enter fiction" ie lie to them
Fiction in this context involve normative image too. Means even when we talk with regular pronoun ,we are talking with fictional gender stereotypes. Gender image of one self is fiction created. Even in normal gender. Just that when biological and fictional gender are in sync it is not disphoric. For trans it is disphoric and when you address them as different gender that disphoria worsen. But in case neo pronoun there are no stereotype association and if there are it is created by them and mostly unknown to common citizen.
So in short neopronoun are just new stereotype that self created with no inherited association but created for self expression but demanding you forced approval. Neo pronoun are like start sign.
Super interesting statement
8:16 domstiny
I am loving the trans arc
Thumbnail of contrapoints. Interesting choice.
Why? The video starts with an anecdote from Contrapoints.
Seems kinda bad faith to use Contra in the icon for the video. She never advocated for any bunny/bunnyself weird bullshit. Is she just there because she's trans and trans=bad?
@Logan Roof News but she didnt sow anything. thats the entire point
@Logan Roof News no youre not. i said she never endorsed bunny/bunnyself and weird ass pronouns like that, you countered "You reap what you sow"
Unless you can prove she actually does endorse bunny/bunnyself you are just wrong. You cant just jump to a completely different claim and declare victory. thats not how anything works.
8 minute videos scraping the barrel PEPE
Hi
Weak minds.
whats that supposed to mean
what the fuck is clocking
It's a term in the LGBTQ community mainly used by trans people and drag queens that basically means noticing something that someone is trying to hide.
The original and most common use would be to say seeing a trans person and realizing they're trans is "clocking" them for being trans (as opposed to not noticing and assuming they're cis).
Other uses could be like noticing someone is wearing a wig, or that someone subtly stole something by slipping it into their sleeve but if you notice you 'clocked' the theft.
my pronouns are 🦝/🦝self
my pronouns re kill / yourself-quick