A Gay Mormon Love Story: Elder | Op-Docs | The New York Times

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  • Опубліковано 21 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 2 тис.

  • @ashleetrieu8320
    @ashleetrieu8320 6 років тому +4251

    It’s funny how his religion is what brought them together, but also what kept them apart.

  • @jessicashemone
    @jessicashemone 5 років тому +2913

    What amazes me so much in these documentaries is that they have so many clips of how they looked and what happened way back then. It’s so much visual to the story with that

    • @Pataganja
      @Pataganja 5 років тому +62

      Almost like it’s a documentary

    • @sydneyreyes7852
      @sydneyreyes7852 4 роки тому +3

      Pataganja lol

    • @sydneyreyes7852
      @sydneyreyes7852 4 роки тому

      But agreed

    • @Kwasisakyi1
      @Kwasisakyi1 4 роки тому +2

      Almost as if that's what they're supposed to do in documentaries

    • @lunalove9395
      @lunalove9395 3 роки тому +11

      @@Pataganja I think they meant more that...when all of the old clips were filmed, they probably weren't filming with the intention of it being for a documentary and him sharing this story - it was just them filming their trip. Its just lucky they had all the old footage so they could put this together

  • @indiego6794
    @indiego6794 6 років тому +6294

    "How can you be that much in love and not be together" that hurt

    • @stumack9755
      @stumack9755 6 років тому +16

      he was a smoker. NEXT!

    • @acates1064
      @acates1064 6 років тому +6

      Stu Mack it’s for a church, honey!

    • @caramel7050
      @caramel7050 6 років тому +2

      because uhhhhh jesus and muh gawd

    • @christyblake2881
      @christyblake2881 6 років тому +79

      Indie Go Unfortunately their story is not too uncommon in that way. Individuals sacrifice their own personal happiness everyday for various reasons. It’s a sort of daily torture that your mind never escapes.

    • @evelyngrnw453
      @evelyngrnw453 6 років тому +3

      Sad

  • @lemnlyme
    @lemnlyme 5 років тому +1798

    genuinely so upset when it ended, i could listen forever

    • @SandiByrd
      @SandiByrd 4 роки тому +6

      YES!!!! Me too!!!!

    • @sanchariguha5337
      @sanchariguha5337 4 роки тому +10

      It's so beautiful , i was thinking same ! He loves him , that's all I know !

    • @musaka9651
      @musaka9651 4 роки тому +5

      Me too

    • @T77pt
      @T77pt 4 роки тому +7

      I’ve watched this video at least a dozen times and it always draws me back when I think about it.

  • @lilliec6083
    @lilliec6083 5 років тому +1116

    "And I finally knew who I was, from a kiss of all things."
    I love this.

    • @Massev6871
      @Massev6871 2 роки тому +1

      The first time I kissed I thought, at last, THIS is how it should feel.

  • @YouTubeYouTube-hb7yq
    @YouTubeYouTube-hb7yq 9 років тому +6521

    UPDATE from NY TIMES ARTICLE
    "Though Tom left Gianni in Italy, their relationship continued in various forms over the years. Gianni still lives in Pescara, where he is an artist and cares for his elderly mother. Tom returned to the United States, where he remained closeted but eventually left the Mormon Church. (His marriage to a Mormon woman ended in divorce, after which he came out.) Tom now lives in Salt Lake City with his partner. Although their romance has ended, he and Gianni still consider themselves deeply connected and close friends."

    • @JanetteBuhler
      @JanetteBuhler 8 років тому +342

      Thanks for that update!!

    • @ginap2765
      @ginap2765 6 років тому +65

      😢

    • @bilindalaw-morley161
      @bilindalaw-morley161 6 років тому +58

      Thank you!! I had just typed "What happened?"

    • @kangtavenus1236
      @kangtavenus1236 6 років тому +196

      Cauz gianni is his soul mate and no matter whom you marry or meet or fall in love it's different with your very own soulmate .

    • @dagmarsigridmanondenijs-bl7156
      @dagmarsigridmanondenijs-bl7156 6 років тому +9

      Pri Opoku tell Tom the “small still voice” was God.

  • @zapantaronez
    @zapantaronez 4 роки тому +872

    "God, I'm tired of fighting and I'm tired of asking You to take this away from me, I've asked You a thousand times, take this feelings away from me, and You won't and You haven't, so I'm going to do what I need to do, and you do what You need to do, and that's the deal, You wanna punish me, You go right ahead, I'm tired of hurting." Im so hurt for him.

    • @ivypriscella
      @ivypriscella 4 роки тому +14

      Ronez Zapanta that made me tear up so bad, poor dude couldn’t win 😢

    • @AlexZ-lc6nl
      @AlexZ-lc6nl 4 роки тому +7

      The truth is tho, that we are all children of God. I’m so happy he found his way. The companion rule was made for heterosexual individuals so you don’t insight issues in the area you are assigned. It is sad that he was alone and further more than he couldn’t find the peace and love he wanted in his life. I’m glad he found his way.

    • @carichaos1651
      @carichaos1651 4 роки тому

      😔😔😔😔

    • @emifatikhatin6254
      @emifatikhatin6254 4 роки тому +4

      God is didn't exist

    • @hectorabcdefg9076
      @hectorabcdefg9076 4 роки тому +2

      I am 48 years old and I am at the end of the rope too.

  • @NymphetamineOrchid
    @NymphetamineOrchid 5 років тому +508

    I'm screaming "STAY!" at my phone. My heart brutally hurts over this.

  • @MrYougotcaught
    @MrYougotcaught 5 років тому +867

    THIS NEEDS TO BE A MOVIE OMG!!

    • @HJ-mg3dg
      @HJ-mg3dg 5 років тому +67

      His story is similar to CALL BE BY YOUR NAME.

    • @toxicperson8936
      @toxicperson8936 4 роки тому +3

      YES OMG. It would be such a hit!!

    • @alexrodriguez6581
      @alexrodriguez6581 4 роки тому +6

      @@HJ-mg3dg IM SCREAMING! THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT WHEN I SEEN THE "Death IN Venice" CLIP!!!

    • @marvelousTUD
      @marvelousTUD 4 роки тому +6

      IKR??? Call Me by Your Name vibes.

    • @maxinee9752
      @maxinee9752 4 роки тому +4

      IKR he’s an amazing story teller

  • @MsFlipped365
    @MsFlipped365 5 років тому +828

    A kiss that shows you who you are? Could this be any more romantic?

    • @rhanna5188
      @rhanna5188 3 роки тому +4

      Right. I had a similar experience. I SO related to that elegant emotion.

    • @MsFlipped365
      @MsFlipped365 3 роки тому +2

      @@rhanna5188 you are counted among the blessed. Be well ❤️.

  • @eprongles
    @eprongles 4 роки тому +508

    My dad told me that on his mission he was with these two other guys, they were real sticklers for the rules, they followed each one to a T. Many years later my dad found out that they had gotten married. He was very shocked but they were happy, but that's all that mattered. I honestly believe that they had a big part in my dad accepting the LGBT community (:

    • @jesuscardenas2347
      @jesuscardenas2347 2 роки тому

      ❤❤❤

    • @jmrabinez9254
      @jmrabinez9254 Рік тому +1

      1.- How did they fall in love with each other?
      2.- Why did they fall in love with each other?
      3.- After many years, were they still sticking to the rules? Or have they changed a bit? How are they now in their way of being?
      Sorry if I ask, but I like to learn from other people. I like it a lot.

  • @aznwilly8013
    @aznwilly8013 6 років тому +3853

    Call me by your Mormon.

    • @Indigo-lp5sl
      @Indigo-lp5sl 6 років тому +7

      melvin tayko 😂😂😂😂

    • @LNLN123
      @LNLN123 6 років тому +1

      melvin tayko 😂

    • @joshuabrazile
      @joshuabrazile 6 років тому +45

      Bless you! I was about to start ugly crying before I read your comment!

    • @nataliafernandez8644
      @nataliafernandez8644 6 років тому +19

      YES THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I THOUGHT

    • @birdyelke775
      @birdyelke775 6 років тому

      Melvin...hahhahhahahahahhaaahahahhaaaaaaaaaaa

  • @no_one2197
    @no_one2197 4 роки тому +319

    I'm a lesbian living in a quite homophobic country, I was crying the whole time watching this.

    • @funandcooljokes
      @funandcooljokes 4 роки тому +5

      Lucy Ferr shut up poocy

    • @user-mv1hv5ce3b
      @user-mv1hv5ce3b 4 роки тому +2

      @Lucy Ferr shut up poocy

    • @rachelrenee5604
      @rachelrenee5604 4 роки тому

      In the days of old, there was a blind traveler that wanted to travel the world for fun and did so by starting in Russia of all places. Now he wasn't blind from birth and maybe that lent to his abilities later in life but his charm and charismatic humor furthered his ability to feel his way through his travels. The path was not easy but friends were made, new foods were shared and the trip around the world did come to be!
      I thought about this (true) story more then a few times while enduring the divorce from my birth mother at 13yrs old,.....no one has your path but it will come to be, you will see. Now then, what is your next step?

    • @seriouslyseriously1063
      @seriouslyseriously1063 4 роки тому +18

      To no one: I hate that you named yourself no one and that you aren't free to express your love openly and honestly. Take some small comfort in knowing that some of us listen and some of us care. Try to live happily whatever path your life takes and remember, you are doing NOTHING wrong. You are the victim of homophobia and you should change your name to Someone!

    • @carrotjuse
      @carrotjuse 4 роки тому +1

      It broke my heart.

  • @TheSpaLife69
    @TheSpaLife69 5 років тому +949

    ..... who here digs this guy’s hair 😎👍🏻

    • @heggy_69
      @heggy_69 5 років тому +12

      Kinda reminds me of Garfunkel. I like it

  • @RodrigorReyes123
    @RodrigorReyes123 4 роки тому +285

    “I’m going to do what I need to do. You do what you need to do.” He invented “you do you boo boo” in his own way lol 😂
    What a beautiful story. I hope to have a story half as beautiful as yours one day.

  • @RubyOpheliaQuinn
    @RubyOpheliaQuinn 9 років тому +2134

    I honestly thought he would stay with Gianni. I'm actually a little heartbroken right now.

    • @ornachia2489
      @ornachia2489 6 років тому +4

      ikr

    • @cristianleal2954
      @cristianleal2954 5 років тому +3

      Me too

    • @graceaguilera2594
      @graceaguilera2594 5 років тому +30

      Yo saaammee I was just like in my head “run back to him like every love story please”

    • @themoongoddess1190
      @themoongoddess1190 5 років тому +4

      I know! Just let him walk away through the trees. :(

    • @kristinwright6632
      @kristinwright6632 5 років тому +35

      The mormon programming is intense and he was at his most indoctrinated being on a mission. If he had chosen to abandon his mission and stay he would have had to walk away from his family and entire support system. And likely he would have hated himself. He really took the only reasonable choice. I'm sorry he had to marry before he woke up and got out.

  • @melflo4651
    @melflo4651 6 років тому +3205

    You asked God many a time to take away your “weird feeling “
    Don’t you think His silence was His answer?
    He will not destroy what He created.

    • @tootsiePOP745
      @tootsiePOP745 6 років тому +179

      beautiful and true

    • @barbaraarmstrong4529
      @barbaraarmstrong4529 6 років тому +312

      You are so right. God's silence was his answer. He was trying to tell you, you're feelings were not weird. Love is Love.

    • @izzamario3108
      @izzamario3108 6 років тому +76

      Mel Flo You guys are delusional

    • @smaller5764
      @smaller5764 6 років тому +18

      Krystal Joseph i agree

    • @chelseaheineman4620
      @chelseaheineman4620 6 років тому +3

      Yea

  • @dandylion7697
    @dandylion7697 8 років тому +1245

    Tom Clark you are a master of the verbal paintbrush. Your words and emotions created a sad but beautiful portrait in my mind.
    I hope you found love and peace within yourself at some point in your life.

  • @notagain.12456
    @notagain.12456 4 роки тому +220

    This is the worst heartbreak ive ever been through.

  • @rainepanda
    @rainepanda 5 років тому +266

    As an ex-mormon this made me cry. It's interesting how for whatever reason one decides to leave the Mormon church, it is always the birth of their true self

    • @spazzpopmania5080
      @spazzpopmania5080 5 років тому +14

      Really???? That's crazy cause when I went from atheist to becoming a member of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints, that was my awakening!

    • @rainepanda
      @rainepanda 5 років тому +34

      @@spazzpopmania5080 you see things differently when you were raised in it. I was Mormon for 25 years.

    • @33rdstreetknits
      @33rdstreetknits 4 роки тому +36

      I agree. Will never go back and have had to overcome sexism, racism, and homophobic ways of thinking to get where i am today. Religion is a disease.

    • @randysmith7189
      @randysmith7189 4 роки тому +21

      Sometimes leaving religious doctrine is the route to finding yourself, because you now are not living someone else ideal of you but your own. Religion doesn't always bring us together as much as it pushes and keeps us apart.

    • @arashf6094
      @arashf6094 4 роки тому +14

      @@spazzpopmania5080 So did my mom, she converted when she was 14, and believed in it up until this year (She’s 56) She discovered the lies the church told, especially about Joseph Smith. He was just a power hungry pedophile. 30+ wives, some of which being as young as 14. I recommend you research the horrible things he’s done.

  • @docpirate46
    @docpirate46 8 років тому +3520

    Oh this is so beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. Pls write a book about it, i want to read it.

    • @ronaldoroda403
      @ronaldoroda403 6 років тому +49

      The Book of Mormon, the awakening,

    • @tchannel9354
      @tchannel9354 6 років тому +34

      I want the movie too... 😢

    • @pjberra
      @pjberra 6 років тому +81

      I know how we Italians are, so I know Johnny blew out that Americana culo out with such passion that night. I love these stories, I lived these stories. My story was me from a born again Christian family (Italian American) and a strict Muslim (Kuwaiti American) both of us 20 and feel in love so deep, so strong. We held on to that love for almost a decade, he always told me he would die without me if he had too go back and live a fake like, that one day came and after a couple years of not seeing him and only hearing that he indeed move back per his parent's and died in a traffic accident. How I still long for that love we shared, only he and I knew the strength,
      value and depth of it.

    • @IvyRoad
      @IvyRoad 6 років тому +7

      Tom Clark has a website.

    • @vivian4949
      @vivian4949 6 років тому +10

      Paul Joseph Berra ..... I'm so sad to hear it turned out so tragic.

  • @ishamaini1
    @ishamaini1 9 років тому +942

    I hope Gianni gets to see this someday, your reunion would be amazing

    • @maggiejohnson9304
      @maggiejohnson9304 6 років тому +73

      If you read the article link it says they are still close friends

    • @caramel7050
      @caramel7050 6 років тому +73

      taltal milal
      Haha. AIDS jokes. Certainly not edgy.

    • @caramel7050
      @caramel7050 6 років тому +10

      KoivuTheHab Gods forbid my autocorrect isn't perfect.

    • @caramel7050
      @caramel7050 6 років тому +21

      KoivuTheHab
      Ah, so now a grammar mistake makes me intellectually inferior? Nice to know. I use it for convenience, that's all. Sometimes it doesn't work.
      No polytheist, just a person that likes adding every deity to the idiom for a change. It's kinda rude to leave out most of them, y'know?

    • @amsodoneworkingnow1978
      @amsodoneworkingnow1978 5 років тому +1

      KoivuTheHab
      So kind of you to be so instructive to all. Certainly sure if your opinions aren't you? But Please remember they are just that YOUR opinions. Please do not presume to inform me and others of what or whom we may believe in. I'm not insisting that you hold any belief system, not an I telling you how you may express yourself. If you check a dictionary you will find that Faith is described as believing in the unseen. My and others faith or lack of us none of your business, this documentary stated that he left the denomination he grew up in it never anywhere said he lost his faith

  • @nilesoien7867
    @nilesoien7867 9 років тому +1727

    So engaging that I spent half the day wondering if Gianni ever stopped smoking. Excellent.

    • @sbpeterson
      @sbpeterson 6 років тому +12

      Hahaha! I hope so.

    • @ttp436
      @ttp436 6 років тому +5

      Niles Oien Its making me want to quit even more

    • @giovanniintrevado6246
      @giovanniintrevado6246 6 років тому +39

      I've never stopped smoking and I'm still alive!

    • @IvyRoad
      @IvyRoad 6 років тому +4

      Tom Clark has a website that continues the story :0)

    • @wordscontrolminds
      @wordscontrolminds 6 років тому +7

      WithMetta
      CAN YOU POST A LINK PLS.!? WHAT A BEAUTIFUL TALE OF UNREQUITED LOVE. WOULD MAKE A BRILLIANT CONTEMPORARY MOVIE.

  • @CamxCam.
    @CamxCam. 4 роки тому +38

    The passion in this man's voice when he tells this story is very warm & comforting.

  • @adamgardiner5869
    @adamgardiner5869 5 років тому +243

    Love is love, whether it's first, fleeting or forever. To feel love is one of the greatest cosmic gifts we have.been given.
    Any thing, person or idea that tries to shame u for feeling it does not deserve your allegiance.

    • @TheWizOfKeyz
      @TheWizOfKeyz 5 років тому +13

      Adam Gardiner those are wise words my friend, & beautifully put too. i agree with your views on love 100%. too bad more people couldnt look at something so obviously beautiful, pure, and absolutely vital to our survival of this human experience as LOVE, & simply see it for what it is. if that were the case, im certain there would be far less of the ugliness & the hatred that we're all constantly force-exposed to on a daily basis. if only everyone could recognize love & simply accept it without feeling the need to try to label it a "sin," cast a dark shadow upon it, hide it/cover it up,
      warp/twist/pervert it, deny it completely, or try to present is as something its not, something we have to be ashamed of....then the world would be a much better place for all of us. to anyone who actually reads this comment all the way thru, thanks. Namaste.
      🙏👌👋🙌

  • @dillonlynch92
    @dillonlynch92 8 років тому +1276

    So beautifully sad. This should be made a movie.

    • @ttp436
      @ttp436 6 років тому +7

      dillon lynch I know What u mean but dont you think Its Just special as it is

    • @PassionGrows
      @PassionGrows 6 років тому +6

      dillon lynch there is a trilogy and I believe it is based on this story. It’s really good, you should check it out. The first movie is called The Falls.

    • @Absurdist1968
      @Absurdist1968 6 років тому

      I think not so much. As a documentary short it works just fine. As a scripted narrative feature, no major studio would fund it, though maybe someone could convince Netflix. And really, as a scripted feature, too much of the story would get changed to make a "more compelling" drama for the masses.

    • @hellofromtheothersideee
      @hellofromtheothersideee 6 років тому +21

      Call Me By Your Name is like this!

    • @tanuashealth9791
      @tanuashealth9791 6 років тому

      Noooooo

  • @giona632009
    @giona632009 7 років тому +805

    I love how tell his story without putting down Mormon believes. He is right and a great guy

    • @utisti4976
      @utisti4976 6 років тому +6

      Giovanna Cruz Fritsch
      He sure didn’t read the part in the Book of Mormon that says “Marriage is between a man and a woman” though.
      Whatever, he could go ahead and do what he wants I guess.

    • @aubreywilliam9048
      @aubreywilliam9048 6 років тому +37

      Giovanna Cruz Fritsch he should be putting them down :)

    • @elisaagnew5070
      @elisaagnew5070 6 років тому +4

      ΛutistiЄ Probably the book 📚 f mormons was written by a straight guy

    • @hopedean6424
      @hopedean6424 6 років тому +9

      @@utisti4976 Yeah why don't we all live according to a single book that should go well

    • @nekilof-2363
      @nekilof-2363 6 років тому +11

      @@elisaagnew5070 A straight guy with "only" 40 wives... (source: www.nytimes.com/2014/11/11/us/its-official-mormon-founder-had-up-to-40-wives.html)

  • @jwalt8019
    @jwalt8019 9 років тому +2008

    Riveting, sad and beautiful simultaneously.

    • @jacobopstad5483
      @jacobopstad5483 6 років тому +12

      This is so beautifully told. Thank you!

    • @mariewelch5073
      @mariewelch5073 6 років тому +3

      I love your profile picture. Hush hush is awesome.

    • @AmbyJeans
      @AmbyJeans 5 років тому

      Snaggle Toothed
      Yes

  • @simplyselina
    @simplyselina Рік тому +13

    This was so beautiful. I’d love to know more. These stories of our elders are so important. I’m crying.

  • @meredithfraser3726
    @meredithfraser3726 4 роки тому +96

    I wonder how many Mormon missionaries fall in love while they are out on their missions. It must be heartbreaking.

  • @billsmiley1294
    @billsmiley1294 6 років тому +224

    "It wasn't just about love, it was my awakening." - My tears express what I would like to say....

  • @michaelearendil6843
    @michaelearendil6843 7 років тому +440

    Gianni was a breathtaking, gorgeous young man.He is an artist and takes care of his mom... very fine fellow.I hope he is happy.

    • @giovanniintrevado6246
      @giovanniintrevado6246 6 років тому +69

      Thanks Michael, I am amazed at the things you know about me and having your best wishes of happiness makes me even happier. I do not know you but I am sure you are a beautiful person and I wish you a life full of love.

    • @giovanniintrevado6246
      @giovanniintrevado6246 6 років тому +56

      Thanks Gary, I am happy to know that there are people like you in the world, I have done many beautiful things in my life but my masterpiece is my work on my mother who is almost a hundred years old and is fantastic!
      I've always thought that in life you do not have to regret especially when you love people, I still have a beautiful relationship with my first known love when I was 17, before it happened "elder" and with Tom I'm always in touch and we update on our lives even if we are far away.
      The smoke of the cigarette is the most negative thing in my life, every day I tell myself that I have to stop, I hope to get up one morning and never smoke again I promise you that I will do my best. Gary I'm glad to meet you, I wish you so much happiness

    • @cclaplatatizio5160
      @cclaplatatizio5160 5 років тому +5

      Giovanni Intrevado what a beautiful couple you two made!
      Wonder why you guys didn’t reunite after your missionary work and find your unique love story where you left it and live happily ever after ... hope you found happiness ! Best Cecilia

    • @ParvaizRaja
      @ParvaizRaja 5 років тому +6

      @@giovanniintrevado6246 You are a beautiful soul inside and outside. Much love to you from Pakistan.

    • @giovanniintrevado6246
      @giovanniintrevado6246 5 років тому +14

      How nice to know that there are people like you in the world. So much love for you from Pescara

  • @gnju9xd
    @gnju9xd 6 років тому +162

    My heart just broke. I so hoped to hear him say, "And so I stayed with him," even though I knew it would end up this way. Sad.

  • @lindaseaman4065
    @lindaseaman4065 5 років тому +52

    Tom! I had been thinking of you of late and happened upon this video! I recognized your voice before I did your pictures! You were a huge part of our High School memories with Sue, Brenda, and Marty! So glad to have finally located you!

  • @CaricatureQueen
    @CaricatureQueen 6 років тому +13

    This is the most beautiful love story I have seen. It crosses the realms of faith, culture, politics, respect ... and brings two humans together in love. Their journey was too short ...

  • @stefanoacquasanta6041
    @stefanoacquasanta6041 6 років тому +512

    I'm italian, I'm going through something similar with this guy, who is american, who I may am falling in love with. He may is too. He's leaving in a month. I know that I should be living the present, but I don't think that we as humans are capable of it; we lay on the memories of the past and hopes of the future. I don't really know how this is going to end, but I wish that faith won't turn the beautiful gift of love into a torture for me

    • @lamingtongirl123
      @lamingtongirl123 6 років тому +72

      Wow so Call me By Your Name is more common than we think lol

    • @giovanniintrevado6246
      @giovanniintrevado6246 6 років тому +16

      You must live the present not the possible future!

    • @juswuzz8929
      @juswuzz8929 6 років тому +10

      Dearest futuristic monster. We have one life brother. Use it wisely. Godspeed! 🇦🇺 ❤

    • @johnboys4697
      @johnboys4697 6 років тому +3

      futuristic monster I pray for you ... I hope you have a happy ending!

    • @theelvenprince6701
      @theelvenprince6701 6 років тому +10

      And how did it ended? I'm really curious

  • @stephanietanniss
    @stephanietanniss 6 років тому +345

    well they had to contact Gianni for the additional photos and his permission to be used in the story so they probably spoke again

    • @justinorear5861
      @justinorear5861 5 років тому +14

      Stephanie Tannis the photos and videos were taken with consent in Europe during the 70s(?). I don’t know but I don’t think consent in posting matters at this point.

    • @amsodoneworkingnow1978
      @amsodoneworkingnow1978 5 років тому +45

      In reply I think the fact that he has left his comments here about his art, his smoking and his mother shows that he not only was aware of this video but approved it be shown. My blessings to two very brave men long may your friendship continue

    • @paigepena6330
      @paigepena6330 5 років тому +21

      There's a follow-up article that says they're still friends, so yeah.

    • @wuestion9473
      @wuestion9473 4 роки тому

      Justin O'Rear 🙄

  • @raulescalante1899
    @raulescalante1899 6 років тому +139

    Touching story... it's exactly my story. Same scenario. Same feelings. Same internal fights. Same prays to God... word by word. You in Italy, me in Mexico. Regards! R.

    • @cristinasubirats3237
      @cristinasubirats3237 5 років тому +2

      Cuéntame tu historia

    • @xochitlzuniga9413
      @xochitlzuniga9413 5 років тому +1

      Live your life how you want it, and dont be afraid of those who dont accept for they arent important

  • @slamdunk406
    @slamdunk406 5 років тому +32

    As an active Latter-Day Saint, I applaud Tom for his courage to share his story and also the fact that he doesn’t bash the church. He seems like a really nice and authentic person.

    • @2326038
      @2326038 5 років тому +8

      Ben Parker I agree with what you wrote about Tom. I doubt if I would have been as charitable when it comes to talking about the mormon religion though.

    • @slamdunk406
      @slamdunk406 5 років тому +2

      2326038 Yeah, it’s truly admirable

  • @alexandrasantos4648
    @alexandrasantos4648 5 років тому +10

    "It wasn't just Love but also the Awakening in Me"!!! This is just Divine! I felted in my heart.

  • @IvyRoad
    @IvyRoad 6 років тому +116

    Beautiful, painful, gorgeous, heartbreaking, beautifully crafted small film. Near the end, I checked how much was left because I didn't want it to end. I wanted Tom Clark to tell me about his whole life.

    • @juswuzz8929
      @juswuzz8929 6 років тому +5

      How does one pull so much emotion in 13 minutes. I think because we've all got our own, secret, wistful love story in there somewhere we can relate to this guys story so deeply. Or is it in his own unique way of telling. I'm not sure, but this story bit me on a visceral level. Thank you for sharing it. Could do with a bit of love today! 😊

  • @narelysnegron6140
    @narelysnegron6140 6 років тому +241

    I Love How They Have Actual Pictures And Videos Of Those Times❤😢

  • @emmaconn1627
    @emmaconn1627 4 роки тому +33

    It reminds me of when I moved to Scotland and left my boyfriend behind. All I could think was "how can we be so in love, but the universe wont let us be together." This made me cry real tears

    • @prithakshrestha
      @prithakshrestha 4 роки тому +1

      Why did you though?

    • @emmaconn1627
      @emmaconn1627 4 роки тому +3

      @@prithakshrestha I got into my dream school and it was an opportunity I couldn't pass up

    • @user-gv2pk6sf8n
      @user-gv2pk6sf8n 2 роки тому +1

      how about now? did you guys meet

    • @emmaconn1627
      @emmaconn1627 2 роки тому +3

      @@user-gv2pk6sf8n we're still together doing long distance. Its hard but worth it

  • @aren3113
    @aren3113 5 років тому +57

    This was incredibly well made. The part when he said sound stopped and then the audio went out... gave me goosebumps.

  • @fantabaz1
    @fantabaz1 5 років тому +337

    My family and I were banned from the Mormon church worldwide for helping a Mormon escape from the church. They had taken his passport and kept him locked up, eventually considering suicide. We got him out and he's now happy in his new life.

    • @kaityoar9125
      @kaityoar9125 4 роки тому +36

      I know many people who have left the church. It's not something you have to "escape" from. You can just not come to church anymore and that's fine. There is the FLDS which is an unsanctioned branch-off of the Mormon (LDS) church that still practices polygamy. That religion is disgusting and members do have to "escape". Was that what this guy was a part of? What were the conditions around helping this guy?

    • @hirat9730
      @hirat9730 4 роки тому +18

      @@kaityoar9125 Maybe that guy was higher up in the chain or was family member of someone important to the church. As is with any religion, the higher you are on the chain, the more difficult it is to get out, some are even threatened for their lives if they try to renounce their religion, I am thinking this is a similar case.

    • @carsonmiles7168
      @carsonmiles7168 4 роки тому +9

      I know you’re lying

    • @graceAMW
      @graceAMW 4 роки тому +18

      That's FLDS (they are just weird). I'm a Mormon(LDS) and I know we would never do that

    • @leoleyva4719
      @leoleyva4719 4 роки тому +6

      Slytherin Queen I’m sorry but y’all do do that. There are thousands of documentaries. Look up “ I escaped the Mormon church” or “ why I escaped the Mormon church”

  • @gregghanson6095
    @gregghanson6095 6 років тому +122

    Beautifully done. As an ex Mormon. I can say this is not only sad, it's tragic.

  • @kristalfisher7304
    @kristalfisher7304 6 років тому +151

    Why is there so many heartbreaking love stories in Italy

    • @Topesio66
      @Topesio66 4 роки тому

      kristal fisher Bwcbw

    • @musaka9651
      @musaka9651 4 роки тому +2

      That was the same thing i asked myself

    • @muymuy777
      @muymuy777 3 роки тому

      Same here. I'll travel the whole of Italy one day to heal myself.

    • @kristalfisher7304
      @kristalfisher7304 3 роки тому

      What does “Bwcbw” mean?

  • @jd2008765
    @jd2008765 4 роки тому +12

    Having also experienced forbidden love and the heart break that goes with it, I was very touched by this story. Beautifully done.

  • @believeinyourself7511
    @believeinyourself7511 5 років тому +57

    The videos and pictures along with the story were so sweet.

  • @jennwill80
    @jennwill80 5 років тому +33

    I've watched this over and over again in the past year. It's so beautiful.

  • @robmckay5421
    @robmckay5421 9 років тому +624

    Thank you Tom for your story. Did you ever see or hear from Gianni again? Terrible that you were put on Thorazine for being gay. Your time in Pescara, Italy was your moment of awakening. Its important to know thyself (Socrates).

    • @KaiseaWings
      @KaiseaWings 6 років тому +252

      I just looked it up. They've maintained a deep friendship internationally, even though Tom now lives with a partner. He left the Mormon church apparently.

    • @chokinonashes61
      @chokinonashes61 6 років тому +76

      Kai Sea
      Thank you for the update. I am glad they are friends, also that he has left the "church" that indoctrinated him.
      Heartbreaking, but beautiful.

    • @IvyRoad
      @IvyRoad 6 років тому +2

      He has a website that answers that question :0)

    • @mikeybanks4965
      @mikeybanks4965 5 років тому

      Kai Sea thank tou

  • @benth162
    @benth162 7 років тому +12

    My heart goes out to you even now. Your story brought a tear to my eye and brought back memories of my first 15 year relationship when my lover told me almost on my 50th birthday that he no longer loved me. I was stunned and totally caught off guard. He wanted to go out and fuque the world and when he did he ended up HIV positive and has been on welfare disability for some time now because he cannot hold down a job because of what the drugs do to him.
    What always breaks my heart is unrequited love, and when I watch these stories I am very touched.

  • @JTScott1988
    @JTScott1988 5 років тому +24

    I feel like theres a lesson here for me.
    Contemplating my current situationship and i may well need this story to move on with grace and dignity.

  • @yas-ob4hd
    @yas-ob4hd 5 років тому +31

    i adore this documentary so much. thank you. this was inexplicably beautiful and my heart is full knowing happiness came of this, albeit they did not end up together romantically

  • @chrisvandevert8117
    @chrisvandevert8117 7 років тому +205

    Well done. My first boyfriend was a married Mormon. I was a smart and tough 20-year-old atheist working my way through college; he was 37 and losing his religion fast. Set in early 1980's AIDS epidemic onslaught in San Francisco. There was high drama. Now, as an older man, I can appreciate that he was "culturally Mormon" but not a literal believer.

    • @andro7862
      @andro7862 6 років тому +9

      What the deal with gays having an age gap between them?

    • @lllaaauuurrraaa
      @lllaaauuurrraaa 6 років тому +12

      I'm a writer, and I think this would make an amazing piece of literary nonfiction. If you ever want to share your story, hit me up.

    • @lllaaauuurrraaa
      @lllaaauuurrraaa 6 років тому +3

      Wow, hi Gianni! (Kind of amazing to hear from you, honestly.) I was actually commenting on Chris Vandevert's original comment about his own experiences - however, I'm glad you reached out! This video is Tom's story, but I have no doubt your side of it is no less compelling. If you've ever be interested in sharing it, I'd love to talk to you.

    • @lllaaauuurrraaa
      @lllaaauuurrraaa 6 років тому +1

      No problem! I'm glad for the mix-up! I've found you on Facebook and sent a message, so feel free to contact me there.

    • @giovanniintrevado6246
      @giovanniintrevado6246 6 років тому +19

      the history of the communist is stupid. In Italy there have never been communists as you mean Americans, surely I would not have given my vote to Trump, I am a progressive and not a conservative.

  • @myahouston20
    @myahouston20 5 років тому +135

    I just don’t get how they never got back together if the loved each other so much

    • @MsAdlerHolmes
      @MsAdlerHolmes 4 роки тому +46

      Sometimes you need to have a love that doesn't last.

    • @winsboy
      @winsboy 4 роки тому +4

      @@MsAdlerHolmes -- Watching this film, to me, shows that this love still exists.

    • @hoihoi4453
      @hoihoi4453 4 роки тому

      me too....

    • @winsboy
      @winsboy 4 роки тому +1

      @@MsAdlerHolmes -- Absolutely on one needs that ...no one!

    • @johnyjohny5559
      @johnyjohny5559 4 роки тому +10

      There's a good chance that he would have been shamed and/or disowned by his Mormon family and friends. He probably decided he didn't want to risk that.

  • @littlekiwi9724
    @littlekiwi9724 6 років тому +21

    I rewatch this documentary every other month or so - it slaughters me every time! A great story, very well told.

  • @heh2084
    @heh2084 6 років тому +12

    So much emotion rolled over me when I watched this, the way he describes Johnny and Italy with so much love is so tremendously heartbreaking and beautiful at the same time.
    I was so touched by this, It felt like I could feel all his pain and love as he was telling his story. I hope you both live happy lives nowadays whatever that may mean.❤️

  • @magdaramirez3024
    @magdaramirez3024 5 років тому +7

    This is such a beautiful and important story to tell because I was raised Mormon and it’s so complicated, you love the gospel, but then you realized you don’t want to be part of it cause you have different views about gender, love, and the lifestyle you want.
    I think that we all have different stories, I got divorced and left the church this year, so it’s difficult cause it’s like you lose your community, but you know you don’t belong there.

  • @jessicaday22
    @jessicaday22 4 роки тому +7

    This is one of the most romantic and heart wrenching and beautiful stories I’ve ever heard

  • @aandre311
    @aandre311 7 років тому +266

    How come this is not a film yet?

  • @garfieldnate
    @garfieldnate 5 років тому +86

    I'm imagining his companion watching this 30 years later and thinking, "how did I miss that?!" I wonder if the rules are stricter than they used to be. We were supposed to be in the same room with our companion all the time, and of course to be in bed asleep by 10:30.

    • @ricobuttonpusher7061
      @ricobuttonpusher7061 4 роки тому +4

      Nathan Glenn it’s basically the same. You can only be alone when in the bathroom or president interviews. You know, so you keep the “good” Jesus thoughts

    • @DeepfriedBeans4492
      @DeepfriedBeans4492 4 роки тому +4

      @@ricobuttonpusher7061 absolutely insane, I would get socially exausted from a week of constantly being around people at summer camp, let alone for 2 year to be free advertisement for a cult.

  • @PettyLabelle70
    @PettyLabelle70 6 років тому +270

    religion should be practiced by mature grown ups, this destroys children, Catholicism screwed me up.

    • @elsakristina2689
      @elsakristina2689 4 роки тому +20

      This is why Christianity would be better off as a spirituality than a religion.

    • @missmelodies52
      @missmelodies52 4 роки тому +15

      Yes, I had no choice of religion as a child. It was framed as a choice but it never was.

    • @seriouslyseriously1063
      @seriouslyseriously1063 4 роки тому +7

      @@aj_us There is no free will when you serve an angry judgemental fearful god. If you are an 8 year old child terrified of admitting to your headteacher that you didn't attend mass on Sunday for fear of his anger or punishment. The same good Catholic headteacher who loved to keep his hands warm inside the pants of good little Catholic girls in the primary school I attended. Having swollen knuckles from the ruler strikes because I was left handed and caught writing with my left hand always resulted in several knuckle strikes with the ruler. Being made to stand on a chair and be humiliated by an entire classroom, lead by a good catholic spinster teacher, because my mother cut my hair short. And now everytime I visit my fathers grave that damned woman sits in the grave next to him, her carved out name clear to see to remind me of the travesties endured in that school. Is this a Victorian novel? Nope, it's a Catholic Cheshire school I and my 5 siblings attended in 60's and early 70's. That was my comforting catholic upbringing. NOT!!

    • @seriouslyseriously1063
      @seriouslyseriously1063 4 роки тому +5

      @@aj_us No Annie, I agree it wasn't God but it was Catholic designated behaviour. I know people my age who never experienced such brutality throughout their school years either. I accept it is not everybody's experience of course but nevertheless it was mine and my siblings. As an interesting final comment, I equally attended a very forward and liberal thinking comprehensive secondary school, also Catholic.

    • @gregwilvert
      @gregwilvert 3 роки тому

      Priests fall in love with young boys. How simple and pure. Makes me choke up, it’s so beautiful

  • @marvelousTUD
    @marvelousTUD 4 роки тому +37

    Why isn’t this a movie yet??? I can already see the title! “One Night in Venice”, “Gianni”, “The Awakening of Me”. It would be amazing.

  • @briankraemer8139
    @briankraemer8139 6 років тому +6

    I cried through this beautiful story remembering my own awakening. Thank you for producing this story and sharing it with us. :)

  • @mihaelahatch3738
    @mihaelahatch3738 5 років тому +14

    This story should be turned into a movie

  • @lindymcleod
    @lindymcleod 6 років тому +18

    What a love story. Religions creat such heart aches. Your love was so pure and simple.

  • @tshirt9872
    @tshirt9872 4 роки тому +6

    It’s already such a miracle that both partners love each other, why would anyone try to tear them apart 😭

  • @yellowremy5085
    @yellowremy5085 4 роки тому +3

    Living near Pescara and seeing places I recognize in the video makes this story so surreal. I can't believe a story so beautiful has happened where I live...

  • @rawrfee
    @rawrfee 6 років тому +19

    What a story... brings me to tears every time and reminds me of my own experience growing up. Molto molto grazie!

  • @eyesglow1777
    @eyesglow1777 4 роки тому +6

    I’m in tears, I cannot understand how someone could punish this kind of love. It’s even too beautiful to be true, to be believed.

  • @hopie3273
    @hopie3273 3 роки тому +7

    This was so beautiful, is so hard to find that person that you can truly connect with, like him 'is not a matter of love' is that red string that brought them together, even though they didn't stayed together, they are that beautiful dream and memory. ❤️

  • @dulcineazulueta
    @dulcineazulueta 5 років тому +23

    I'm like no don't end with a black screen yet - and it did. Still, I'm glad they still maintain that connection - like I wish I could or did but people are really different nowadays. I can't help shake off the idea of this story that is so morose yet it brings me some sort of gladness that there are people who loved each other and retain what they have.

  • @almalynbautista3745
    @almalynbautista3745 5 років тому +6

    What a great story to end the night. Will be sleeping with a broken heart though... I wish I could go back in time, when stolen kisses and holding hands were everything.

  • @miasolala8415
    @miasolala8415 4 роки тому +8

    never leave your soulmate if there's even the slightest possibility to stay together. it's so rare to meet this person in life at all.

  • @miszadzyberti532
    @miszadzyberti532 6 років тому +3

    God this made me full on sob. This is so beautiful and touching.As a person that was raised in a strong religious based, small village in Poland I was told that my feelings and desires are wrong and bad. Now that I’m free and able to express myself when I see similar experiences I’m just... so moved. Beautiful and honest.

    • @giovanniintrevado6246
      @giovanniintrevado6246 6 років тому

      Hello Misza, I wish you to be happy in your life, now we are in a different time since 1974 and many things have changed. I hope you will find a person worthy of you!

  • @fidatazkiyah4338
    @fidatazkiyah4338 6 років тому +22

    07:30 "How can you be that much in love and not being together"

  • @hayden9802
    @hayden9802 4 роки тому +18

    You can tell he’s an artist because he tells such vivid images

  • @hollyken3
    @hollyken3 5 років тому +7

    Dear god I have never been so emotionally invested in a video

  • @emmaolivera3018
    @emmaolivera3018 6 років тому +3

    The image of him walking away, it tears at the heart

  • @ploy1043
    @ploy1043 5 років тому +81

    🎶“Love one another as Jesus loves you”🎶 Accept those who are LGBT, don’t bring them down. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

    • @elsakristina2689
      @elsakristina2689 4 роки тому +4

      Yes! Sadly I know from experience that if most Christians were to say that or anything else in favour of LGBTQ+ people, the other "Christians" would verbally attack them. It confuses and angers me to no end. It'd be so much easier if Christianity were a spirituality only but instead it's a religion and so many have turned it into a cult and of course there's what I call mini cults. I've had people tell me I'm wrong when I say that love is for everyone regardless of gender. It's one of the worst feelings I've ever felt but I won't give up.

    • @save_the_bees
      @save_the_bees 4 роки тому +2

      SamiiChan what did God and Jesus want? For all of us to love each other and respect each other no matter what. Love is suppose to be above hate, not the other way around! People seem to forget that :(

    • @DeepfriedBeans4492
      @DeepfriedBeans4492 4 роки тому +6

      @@save_the_bees While im an atheist exmormon I do think its ridiculous how much they claim to worship and follow a loving god yet tear people down for not following their cult's rules

    • @gregwilvert
      @gregwilvert 3 роки тому +1

      Secular free thinkers have always (for decades anyway) accepted lgbt people and don’t need any bible mythology.

  • @PanamaRubia
    @PanamaRubia 9 років тому +60

    Such a beautiful, touching story...had me in tears.

  • @loopyluu9302
    @loopyluu9302 5 років тому +1

    "Angels in America" deals with similar themes. Glad you had the courage to come out and the sense to stay friends with each other. I lost my partner to mental illness recently but we decided to re-define our relationship from "girlfriends" to "family." Wasn't easy but it kept us close like you and G. Big hug from Munich!

  • @bennomedina-quinsella4763
    @bennomedina-quinsella4763 6 років тому +4

    An amazingly sad yet triumphant story.
    So many people deny themselves their path in life because of social conventions.
    I have known in my own life such conflict and only through the passage of time, was I able to be what I needed to be.
    This fellow and Gianni changed each other's lives forever and were so much greater for their time together.
    Just a a beautiful story with a less than flawless ending.
    Tears flow now...thank you for making this video...it will help countless people be who they are...thanks...

    • @giovanniintrevado6246
      @giovanniintrevado6246 6 років тому +1

      Hello, I'm Gianni from the movie "elder", you wrote a nice and right comment, you're definitely a special person, so thanks to you!

    • @bennomedina-quinsella4763
      @bennomedina-quinsella4763 6 років тому +1

      @@giovanniintrevado6246 ...bless you for writing...your story is timeless...be well...and be happy...

  • @kellymarieconlon6320
    @kellymarieconlon6320 6 років тому +6

    My heart hurt watching this. May you both find yourselves together and continue your story in the next life, if love and togetherness is not to be your fate on this earth. God bless you both.

  • @losttribe3001
    @losttribe3001 6 років тому +3

    I think there are many of us who have had these types of “first love” stories. This is very touching, especially with the presence of the Mormon church and their views on homosexuality.
    Just last week I found out my first girlfriend died 5 years ago. I had no idea. It was a gut punch. I remember how exciting it was to fall in love with her. We spent a few months constantly together until my father got another job and we moved 8,000 miles (yes, 8k) away. We lost touch and life went on. I’m now married to the love of my life and I don’t want anyone else. But for a few months when I was 17, I enjoyed getting to know her and the excitement that came with it.

  • @SnarkierThan-U-R
    @SnarkierThan-U-R 5 років тому +55

    I had a lesbian affair with a Mormon, we broke up and she remained in the LDS

  • @katrmet6893
    @katrmet6893 6 років тому +2

    In the past two weeks, I have not been able to watch a video without this one being recommended. I must say, I’m not disappointed by UA-cam’s algorithm for once

  • @TheRetroWoman80
    @TheRetroWoman80 6 років тому +6

    Self-awakening. Such a beautiful life changing thing. I can relate. I hope Tom is happy and found someone who matches him.

  • @themsaka4177
    @themsaka4177 4 роки тому +5

    Gosh. "my inside was coming out"
    Who would not cry for this?
    Felt that..... So badly 😭

  • @IcyAquaMarine
    @IcyAquaMarine 6 років тому +4

    I expected a happy ending between Tom and Gianni :( But I'm glad they're still in touch. Wishing you two the best!

  • @wifi5526
    @wifi5526 7 років тому +17

    Im in tears love your story.
    Hi from Milano

  • @angelmaduka9964
    @angelmaduka9964 5 років тому +2

    This is thee best UA-cam video I’ve ever watched.

  • @emmabarton98
    @emmabarton98 6 років тому +1

    This was honestly so beautiful. The way you worded everything combined with the video clips was perfect.

  • @mrdavidgreen6242
    @mrdavidgreen6242 6 років тому +3

    Sad, beautiful and absolutely amazing. Hope they make his story into a movie. I'm already crying.

  • @Raffanroll
    @Raffanroll 9 років тому +214

    Alas! - he turned down Gianni's offer to stay with him in Italy and make a life together. But how could they ever hope to reconcile their fundamental differences? After all one was an indoctrinated Mormon missionary the other a communist and possibly an atheist. Surely love(or God) could find a way for them to be together? I hope so. Maybe it was their raised consciousness which they experienced that matters. "Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" Oscar Wilde.

    • @calaneeodell4277
      @calaneeodell4277 6 років тому +10

      pride4fall I mean it's not impossible for a relationship like that to work, my Grandma is a Democrat, Hippie, Atheist and her Husband was a Republican, ex-military, Catholic. Relationships can prosper as long as there's understanding.

    • @Absurdist1968
      @Absurdist1968 6 років тому +1

      Well, I guess that's something to be hoped for, but it didn't happen that way. Check out the link in the description.

    • @skwills1629
      @skwills1629 5 років тому +1

      Indocternated...isnt the Cmmuist also Indocternated? WHy do we use it as a dirty word used as if Religion brainwashes you...

  • @sorbenjamin7695
    @sorbenjamin7695 9 років тому +366

    Tears. So many tears. :-(

  • @jasminemiller1563
    @jasminemiller1563 5 років тому +43

    How is this not a movie? I want to know more. I have so many questions. Did they ever see each other again?

    • @lynnkesh254
      @lynnkesh254 4 роки тому +5

      I think movie title is ...call me by my name

    • @mrsandman8849
      @mrsandman8849 4 роки тому +3

      watch call me by your name and you can experience a similar story of an American doctrate student visiting an Italian family in Crema, where he meets Elio. They fall in love, yet there were so many boundaries...the rest of the story is very similar to this one too. There is a book of the same name describing the same if you want to read that!

  • @ashleypeverett4833
    @ashleypeverett4833 3 роки тому +2

    Beautiful and sad... thanks for sharing this story

  • @jessicanigliazzo7863
    @jessicanigliazzo7863 5 років тому +39

    I’m a Mormon (been one for most of my life) and would like to say that God made you just the way he intended. He and we will love you no matter what! but there will be some individuals who say mean things. Please stay strong, God is aware of you.

    • @jessicawest4515
      @jessicawest4515 4 роки тому +1

      Thank you for this lovely comment! I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints too! Please try to say the full name so it includes the name of our Savior, as President Nelson instructed. But I'm glad you commented these loving words.

    • @DeepfriedBeans4492
      @DeepfriedBeans4492 4 роки тому

      cesletter.org and i imagine you are gonna blame individuals for the supposedly one true church not accepting people for 100 years because of their skin color? or joseph smith being told by god to marry minors and have like 40 wives? whatever works for you i guess

    • @DeepfriedBeans4492
      @DeepfriedBeans4492 4 роки тому

      @@jessicawest4515 How do you not realize how ridiculous that comment is