My Unorthodox Life on Netflix, fact-checked by Orthodox Jews.
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- Опубліковано 20 чер 2024
- Julia Haart's new show on Netflix called My Unorthodox Life is a gross misrepresentation of the Jewish Community of Monsey.
The show is riddled with misinformation and falsehoods.
The Haart family fabricated many of the narratives in this show simply to get a program on Netflix.
Furthermore, we believe that Netflix should be held accountable for not doing their due diligence and fact-checking.
We believe this will insight more antisemitism and hatred towards the community.
#myorthodoxlife
#myunorthodoxlife
I’m Muslim and I completely agree with your sentiment. The show pretends to support choices and freedom, unless you choose to be faithful and religious to your traditions, then you’re “backwards”, when in reality, that’s the biggest freedom of all- being able to practice your religion freely.
💯
100%
Agreeeee
I'm 1000% agree I'm a Jewish person and I have my level of traditions ( kosher,shabbeus and prayers and tziniout ( I'm trying little by little ) ) and I can live and be connected with my level of religion, they are place for everybody in our religion. I can go to architecture school be successful and to pretend one day to be a girl boss !! I can talk to boys if I want and of course with respect because I believe in it personally not just in a religious way because I think you need to have always boundaries with people to show how you want to be treated.
I have a boyfriend that I want to marry deeply and we believe in the sacred mariage even if we aren't shomerim neguiah and all the things, and all this is okay I know that I am in the real place and in agreement with my way of life , I know that I have a pure heart and God loves me with my level that I considered a good way of life , I know me , God knows me I am proud of my current journey everyday and when I do an another step to religion I'm very proud of that also . She just paint a point of the board without contests I believed that She suffered but it's not the case for every Jews there are levels and I think that you don't need to be in the extremes in the two directions to be happy you just can be in the middle and to try to be a better person everyday with you personally diaries issues . May God bless you all .
Well said
I'm not Jewish, but I was really upset with how the Jewish faith was held hostage in the series. I had to stop watching it midway, it really became about them pursuing their own personal choices - which is fine, but don't black list an entire faith/community in pursuit of it.
This!
bravo
Exactly! The parts which really bug me is how she tries to set her ways on her young teen son, who is at THAT age where he is finding himself and what he truly believes in. Which in turn could cause him to totally resent his mom, may even cause major rifts. I wish she would be more understanding and supportive of him.
I do wish every single parent would explain to their kids that just because they, the parents, believe in something, it doesn't mean their child has to believe it. Teach children to think for themselves, be skeptical, question everything, use their common sense and critical-thinking skills, do research, and keep an open mind to reality. This, rather than indoctrinating/brainwashing their child, and without guilt-tripping, punishment, pitying or shunning for their personal beliefs and feelings. No one can instantly choose or control feelings/beliefs, you can only possibly change those over time with deep thinking and openness. And of course you don't own your adult children, whose decisions you should accept or at least tolerate, if not respect, whether you agree with them or not.
There is too much attention to bad news and drama stories, don't you think? I am happy that people stop watching to give a clear message that no one can feed us shit anymore.
As a (Palestinian) Muslim: welcome to the club! We’ve heard it all before. I was applauding you two throughout the whole video. I watched all of My Unorthodox Life and it was so funny and horribly cringey at the same time how Julia demonized the Orthodox Jewish Community because I knew she was blowing everything out of proportion. It promotes antisemitism and that‘s very bad.
We all gagged at some point while watching the show. Am i right 😂
thank you cousin!
No. It promotes looking realistically at any religion for all the needless, ridiculous, unreasonable, unnecessary, degrading, undignified crap they put people, especially women, through. If that makes you cringe, it should. Any religion that conveniently elevates men above women and gives them the sole power to grant divorce, etc., is a sick, twisted and backward religion indeed and I find it highly suspect. Newsflash: It's not just a man's world anymore. Women are now considered human, too, with the same feelings as men and everything! Shocking, I know. And if your religion tells you to treat others of different religions (or no religion) less human than those belonging to your own, then your religion is a terrible, arrogant, inhumane religion. A good religion would be warm, inclusive, fair, kind, treat men and women EQUALLY and be welcoming to all. But any and all forms of extreme fundamentalist ultra orthodoxy breed suffering, ignorance, separation and radical extremism, which benefits who? Religion makes life much more stupidly complicated than it ever needs to be. And it's not only a major silly game for adults to which they subject their children, but it wastes so much precious time! And it has always caused much more harm than good; the total opposite of wonderful vaccines, which have always benefitted humans much more often than harmed them. Ignorant, ridiculous, needless customs and traditions are put above human rights, for what? Some unreasonable, unavailable imaginary invisible supernatural being, one who exists only in some people's heads and nowhere else? Time to grow up and get with the real world, to become more decent individuals, and to let some harmful and destructive customs/traditions finally go! They are no longer working, if they ever did in the first place. Don't let fear stop you from enjoying and living this one and only life we have, for all you know. And as far as you or anyone else goes, no one truly knows anything about any afterlife, it's all guesswork, no matter his/her claim. I'm a Humanist, I care about real things, like people, not oppressive imaginary man-made gods. You are not always the victims; you often victimize others horribly, and you know it. Even your own families! That's a very rough way to live, which you may find comfortable because it's been normalized by your abnormal religion, but it's torturous for many who you claim to "love". Forget feelings, just behave with kindness. Get off your high religious horse. You not only are no better than any other humans, your religion can make life a lot worse for humans. You only find it cringy because all the truths, especially the ugly truths, are being exposed. You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you can't fool all the people all of the time. Be brave, be decent, and stop the foolishness. P.S.- If there was a god, and it was a good god (preferably a female god--I know, so blasphemous; so sue me, hahaha!), it would despise ALL religions. ❤
@@barbkinney7576 um gd is both female and male in Judaism, when you pray to her you only use female pronouns. "i know, blasphemous," uh not...
@@rinan4058 And? Thanks, but I'm already schooled in many religions, and there is NO way the Jewish god is not a male! Let's keep it real. Males are favored in almost all religions. How convenient.
I'm Christian but I really respect orthodox Jews for remaining true to the laws given to them. These laws don't changes with what is fashionable.
A lot of these “laws” sound eerily similar to those found in Islam. I don’t understand how we can freely criticize Islam but saying anything about Ultra Orthodox Judaism means you’re anti-Semitic. Makes zero sense
These are not really "Laws" but simply the dictates of a pre-modern religious cult (much like religious orthodoxy in ALL other faiths - Protestant, Catholic, Islam, Hindu etc.) that refuse to adjust to the reality (scientific and otherwise) of the contemporary world. And indeed - by definition - such dictates never do change given their hostility to empirical reality which is inevitably affected by historical evolution and societal, political, and cultural change.
@@YummGreen "Cavemen" is an excellent description of all religious fundamentalists and "true believers".
@@NYCOPERAFAN Absolutely!
@@uhohhhsteven Islam is dog shit
I had to stop watching the show when her oldest daughter was being shamed for holding onto traditional aspects of her religion particularly relating to her marriage. It’s one thing to make a decision for yourself, it’s another to project that decision onto others.
"Shamed?" The entire fundamentalist Jewish religion is about shame.
@@dahliarose8466you’re utterly mistaken and I’m so sorry that you had such a bad experience with your own faith.
@@MacLevistein where did I mention my faith? Nice try at gaslighting. How utterly toxic of you...
Men are women are different, but they are both equally important in their own way.
Felt very good to hear from you guys. I am a Muslim.
Of course, in your religion women are oppressed as well so you must love this.
@@carmengr343 that's your perception so live with it or a better option to enlighten yourself with the reality.
@@carmengr343 Lol as a muslim woman I can tell you we are faaaaar from oppressed.
@@carmengr343 wtf are you talking about?
Thank YOU for coming here to listen to them talk about it. But of course, as a Muslim with such similar values to us Orthodox Jews, I'm sure you understand perfectly how hurtful misrepresentation of your beautiful religion can be. We "backwards" people need to stick together :)
shes a singer but no man is allowed to hear her sing........makes no since
I'm a traditional Catholic and I had a hard time watching how religion was treated in this show. I watched this show with my mom, she is agnostic but from a Jewish family. Both of us were disturbed by a scene in the second episode where Julia goes to see her youngest son at her ex-husbands house, and she ends up trying to convince her son to not believe the things that he does, to the point that she starts crying in emotional manipulation. The way that she speaks about her more conservative children and her ex husband (who also appeared in the episode) is just disrespectful. If you want to leave your religion, that is fine, but expecting your children to leave with you all of a sudden after you raised them to follow that religion their entire lives is so unfair to them.
Hi, totally agree & just fyi, Judaism goes via the Mothers blood line so if your Moms from a Jewish family, agnostic or not, it makes you Jewish too, even youve been a practicing catholic;) welcome to the family! ♡
Two questions: why are you certain she is only crying 'to be emotionally manipulative' and not because she is upset? And why do you think it is okay for parents to want their child to be religious and encourage them that way but not okay for them to want their child not to be religious and encourage them in that direction?
I don't always like her as a character, but she isn't forcing her son (who is still a child) to not be religious, she is simply telling him that she disagrees with some of the practices and opinions he is learning from a religious institution. His father is a rabbi so he is definitely getting both perspectives. As long as no one is forcing him, what's the problem?
A woman can't sing in public...please
@@icarusgotooclose 1 because its reality TV 2 when they got married they agreed to raise there children in the way of the Torah here she is trying to pit one against the other
Wrong she wants Aaron to know he has options his community doesn't allow him to know that he's a kid ! Not an adult !
Actually some of the greatest life lessons I've learned is from a friend of mine who's a Jewish rabbi. Even though I come from Italian Catholic background, and not a religious person, or Jewish....he's always gives me great advice and inputs on how I should carry myself through life and just common values of how to respect myself and family. Great man.
God is universal and we can learn from different teachers ❤ I’m also from an Italian Catholic background from Toronto
Totally agree with you! My husband and I are both Christians and waited until after mariage to be together intimately: probably why we are celebrating our 47th wedding anniversary! Praise God! We have such a blessed and happy life because of God!
I did the same and had to get divorced after two years of therapy, doctors, sexologist, etc. Never again. Before I get married again I am making sure we are sexually compatible. Will I be judged? sure, not the worst thing I have done in my life, unfortunately. I'll just try to be a better person, but I will never put someone through that again nor will I put myself in that position.
@@missedanthrope6476 its still not a justification to badmouth an entire sect of pple
@@missedanthrope6476 you do realize that it also depends what your life style is. What you're seeking in a marriage.
What your ultimate goals are.
Ofc there needs to be love. But being bed compatible shouldn't define your entire marriage. Unless it's so bad and there is no true Love.
Shalom Im a Israeli living in Jerusalem :)
With regard of your explanation of "Thank you god for not making me a women" and in Hebrew - ברוך שלא עשני אישה.
Your explanation or rather "excuse" to this horrific statement is the "out of context" argument.
According to Collins dictionary "Out of context" mean as follows - "If a statement or remark is quoted out of context, the circumstances in which it was said are not correctly reported."
Say for example someone said "I want to kill Jews"(god forbid-rahmana litslan) now what circumstances can excuse that horrific statement? NON.
A horrific statement is a horrific statement. no "circumstances" can excuse such a statement. Instead of spouting what you have taught since the age of 1 maybe its time to reflect on things. Maybe its time to stop blaming everybody and say "hey maybe they're right.. maybe that statement is a little too far to say.. maybe it’s time to correct things".
Or own the statement and say "yes. Maybe it sounds a bit primitive but for us Jews thats how we see things". That’s perfectly fine to own what the statement actually literally says instead of being self-righteous
@@heroeshow - sounds like you are the "self righteous " one. By what objective standard is orthodox Jewish life and belief "primitive", as opposed to ancient, venerable or long-standing? Would you admit that there are many fashionable practices in modern society that could be considered barbaric, primitive or worse?
As a Muslim, I truly enjoyed watching this video. Thank you for fact-checking this show. I can only imagine how humiliating it must feel for your community to have your faith slammed by a former Orthodox Jew based on extreme generalizations. As Muslims, we feel the world is trying to shame us for our faith too, so I know your pain. I respect your values and your faith. In Islam, Muslims, Jews and Christians are the People of the Book, you are our brothers and sisters.
As a Christian women, thank you for your thoughtful comment. I agree with you. People on the whole love drama and would watch a show like this And not even think " could this woman had just had an isolated, bad experience? " but no.... they think it must be the same for everyone, everywhere. I have known families that have 6- 12 children...all of grown children happy with their Faith, life ,family ,parents and community...except maybe one child in the whole big family is unhappy and critical of the parent🤯 like what?!? All my examples are from families that even believe different than me. It makes me think there has to be something wrong here. Let us all not just assume anything we see in anyone. Have open eyes ! 😍
Thanks so much for your brotherhood and encouragement.
I'm Muslim and I couldn't watch more than a couple of episodes. There were a lot of contradictions in how the main character portrayed Orthodox Jews and it did not sit well with me. There was a scene were Bathsheva's husband makes a huge deal about her wearing pants, and yet in other scenes her outfits are not "modest" and yet he doesn't seem to mind. It made me feel like at least some of it is scripted.
I really enjoy learning about Judaism, but this is the last show on earth I'd recommend for that purpose.
Check out Peter santenelleo's videos on the Jewish orthodox Hasidic community on UA-cam
@@mendyyarmove I watched them! I enjoy all of Peter's content.
It's Leftist propaganda from people who hate religion. It's a mitzvah to have children but it's also commanded to care for them. I came from Lubavitch background.
I picked up on that same point about the wearing of pants -- in a scene very shortly thereafter, she is in a park wearing leggings and a cropped workout top, and he has no problem with it.
I agree.
As someone who is not Jewish , I found this video very interesting. Thank you for educating me. One thing I disliked though was when you mentioned that people who know her say her ex husband was a gentleman. My father beat my own mother and many of his friends said they thought he’d be never like that. They said he was a people person , which as someone living in the same house i knew it was him being fake. There could be things going on in the house that you and the friends may never know about.
That bothered me too.Being the nicest person in the world and a wonderful father doesn't make you a good husband necessarily. And abuse can't be detected by outsiders; abusers know how to be thoroughly charming and wonderful at all times... except when they aren't!!
Even Haart doesn’t say her husband was bad, though. She actually says he was a nice man and a good father. She has dinner with him in the second season.
Did you see him in the show, and what he was really like? She lies about everything else, why not that?
As a convert to Orthodox Judaism I must add that Judaism is very beautiful and honestly was the first time I truly experienced being valued as a woman.
Examples? what about Judaism did give you more value as a woman ?
I thought the majority of Orthodox and Hasidic Jewish communities are against converts?
A Jewish convert wouldn’t speak this way.
@@BiggerThenKingKong true, we don't encourage it or try to convert anyone, but if someone truly chooses to become Jewish they have all the right. We try discouraging converts as being Jewish is a lot for a person not born into it.
@@leahmoskowitz3462 First off, Judaism is not a missionary religion. Also the main reason why Kosher Rabbis, do not encourage conversion is because, most of the Jewish nation ourselves, are not Kosher Jews, not religious according to Halakha, Jewish law.
Only about 20% if that, of the Jewish people are righteous Jews. So to expect converts to become righteous, and stay righteous till their soul leaves their body is unique. Also it can be detrimental to their souls, because up until the conversion, there were only 7 laws the gentile had to keep to make it to heaven. So the Rabbis have to be careful.
The reason why Rabbis try to persuade any non-Jew from converting is because as a Gentile, they only have to keep the 7 laws of Noah, (plus all the laws that are required by common sense) by keeping these 7 Mitzvot they will reach Heaven.
But by converting a non-Jew to Torah Judaism, essentially the Rabbi is making a huge decision by allowing a non-Jew to join the Jewish nation, because the convert up until now, to reach Heaven, he/she was only required to keep the 7 laws of Noah, which is required by all the Gentiles. When a convert becomes a Jew, he/she must keep all of the mitzvot of the Holy Torah, which is bestowed on all Jews by The Creator.
Which unfortunately, most Jews TODAY, do not keep. By converting he/she to Judaism, and IF they do not keep the laws of the Torah, he or she is in jeopardy, by not reaching Olam Haba. Thats why the Rabbis must be careful.
Loved this. I had a conversation with a Jewish friend of mine and was so confused as to what he meant that it was BS. This laid it out very nicely! Live in Lakewood and have cam across many wonderful Orthodox Jewish people.
Amazing thanks for the comment
A I live in Lakewood too 👀 I’m jewish lol
Not orthodox, Christian myself. I do agree with all that you have spoken of here. Feel sad for Julia and her family as they have completely fell off the moral spectrum, literally this show is all about gluttony, of money, sex, and “all about me” life, that’s what the show should’ve been called
Orthodox Christian, I found the series confusing except my heart goes out to the children being led astray
Thank u finally some peacefully intelligent good people
Shalom Im a Israeli living in Jerusalem :)
With regard of your explanation of "Thank you god for not making me a women" and in Hebrew - ברוך שלא עשני אישה.
Your explanation or rather "excuse" to this horrific statement is the "out of context" argument.
According to Collins dictionary "Out of context" mean as follows - "If a statement or remark is quoted out of context, the circumstances in which it was said are not correctly reported."
Say for example someone said "I want to kill Jews"(god forbid-rahmana litslan) now what circumstances can excuse that horrific statement? NON.
A horrific statement is a horrific statement. no "circumstances" can excuse such a statement. Instead of spouting what you have taught since the age of 1 maybe its time to reflect on things. Maybe its time to stop blaming everybody and say "hey maybe they're right.. maybe that statement is a little too far to say.. maybe it’s time to correct things".
Or own the statement and say "yes. Maybe it sounds a bit primitive but for us Jews thats how we see things". That’s perfectly fine to own what the statement actually literally says instead of being self-righteous
Well, this is the World nowadays. As Soon as i Profit from It.
@@Pinkui sad.
Julia seem desperate for a “Kardashian” type of success- hence throwing her whole community under the bus! Shame on her!!
or maybe standing up for what she believes in and incorporating tikkun olam into what would otherwise be a materialistic, meaningless, reality show with no real use? or maybe it's just called her self-expression, and self-determination, that is not to be policed?
@@ilanaleibowitz9370 she is a vapid liar who really belongs in Adult entertainment
@@ilanaleibowitz9370 I don't think you know what tikkun olam means. Meaningless and materialistic is the lifestyle she's celebrating.
I am actually Muslim, and was interesting to hear the similarities between values and beliefs (no bacon, no sex before marriage as its an intimate thing between husband and wife…) that our religions share.
In my opinion overall there are extremists in all religions and philosophies and beliefs, and too much of anything is always bad.
I have noticed that most Netflix content on Jews is quite negative. It is sad. Maybe as a muslim i am sadly used to Netflix and others out there loving to hate on my religion and saw it similarly happen to Judaism and sadly just didn't react because it is an ugly norm.
Julia’s husband in the series seems like an amazing man and they have a good relationship portrayed. Maybe she just felt that she wanted a way out and her surrounding wasn't helping her. Not an excuse to trash the religion but there is no smoke without fire, this really has to stem from somewhere.
There are bad jews, christians, muslims, atheists and others out there of course, but generalizing all based on few is sad.
On different note, was really interesting fo hear more about Judaism.
in this site there are some excellent videos about judaism
ua-cam.com/users/JewsforJudaismCanadavideos
Yes! I'm an Orthodox Jew and one of my dearest friends is a Muslim and it's SOOO interesting to talk to her about how similar our cultures and religious practices are. When I went to her wedding I could not believe how similar some of the practices were to mine! Prayer times, relying on sunrise and sunset for fast days, definition of monotheism (compare Maimonides 13 principles of faith and Al Ikhlas), I'd be here all night naming similarities.
And about Julia, I mean really, there are plenty of people who just do not feel at home in certain communities. Doesn't mean the community is bad, and it doesn't mean that something is wrong with her, it's just personal preference and I think she's inflating the rules because that's how SHE saw it. And her exaggerating it is probably part of a coping mechanism for leaving her husband and the community which still I'm sure was an extremely hard thing to do. You're choosing to estrange yourself from the entirety of your life you had before. Any shift like that will be a bit of a trauma, so I'm sure in making that decision, she felt the need to justify to herself why everything was bad enough to leave so she exaggerates to make herself more secure in her decision.
Also, plenty of people have issues with certain laws if it's too hard for them for whatever reason. In Judaism we have a concept of getting a "heter" for certain things like if you have a medical issue you can get a "heter" to not fast, or if you have some sort of emotional needs that conflict with certain laws, there are ways around it like exemptions or other ways of doing things because your health, physical and mental is extremely important.
It is funny and interesting but as a Jewish guy I always found more common with Muslim people when it comes to religious and traditional values and they found the same with me..
Same! I'm Jewish and always felt more comfortable with Muslim people, because there's just something familiar and similar 🥰❤
Peter Santenello and Shlomie zions produced some amazing videos a few months ago about the jewish community, One of the videos actually addressed this issue of women being second class. The professional woman he interviewed debunked the myth.
Peter Santenello just released another great video 6 days ago.
Those oppressed frequently don't understand their oppression. When they have been raised a certain way they accept it as truth. I am sure many women in Afghanistan would say they have no issue with the Burqa but they are still being oppressed.
@@RobertWilliger Is that why women are protesting in Afghanistan now??? They KNOW they are being oppressed 😉
Julia obviously never heard of Judge Ruchie Freier.
Yet Judge Ruthie Freire is an outlier in Bobov she went to a Bais Yaakov School which is adequate in secular subjects including AP courses. She did not graduate from a Chassidic School which does not adequately teach secular subjects. No regents or AP courses. Julia Haaart was not from the Chassidic community and was liberal Yeshivish/Right wing Modern Orthodox.
Judge Freier is one woman out of how many? Please. She's not the norm in the slightest.
You are upset at Julia for portraying the extreme as the norm than you do the exact same thing on the other side. Freier is one in a million. Far from the norm.
@@Bulvan123 I Agree with you Bobov does not give regents diplomas and trying going to college they will expell you
Julia Haart could have gone to college from her Bais Yaakov in Monsey. I will admit she was very unhappy with Traditional Judaism and wanted a hedonistic life style
@@Bulvan123 There are more Julia Haart’s than Ruthie Frier
I found the series to be propaganda to love money above all else, I feel sorry for the children.
This. You can see Ben & Bat, who *may* have otherwise remained frum, pulled away by her monetary support/houses/possessions. But of course, she raised Bat with those materialistic values, so it was the expected outcome for her. And no surprise that she chose a boy who was the same way. Very sad.
I felt sorry for the youngest kid who’s literally torn between being religious and being “in the world”.
Let him choose.
Let him be don’t introduce him and guide him to sin.
I’m Christian By The Way.
@@TheCheerfulable Christians, with solid morals and good values, have more in common with us orthodox Jews than Julia does.
Perfectly said!!
@@TheCheerfulableyes! she's so impatient with her kids, she was so pushy and controlling.
One of my biggest issues w the show is that she makes it sound like that she was brought up the most chareidi hassidic maybe satmar style and in reality she grew up as like the most modern out of town orthodox and her husband wore like a blue shirt and barely a black hat and they got a drop more religious shes a faker
I watched without seeing previews and was so put off I couldn’t get through the 1st episode. Something is off. I am not super religious and not easily offended but I was super offended all the way through.
Thank you for making this video! As an Orthodox woman I agree with everything you and your wife said! All very true
I understand that she doesn’t represent the community and she’s likely generalizing… but on the singing point… if you can’t publicly sing… julia’s comment wasn’t a lie
You’re also generalizing saying that a “get” is easy to receive from a man … domestic violence is often accompanied by control and so it’s easy to see that you’re just painting broad strokes with your stats of .00001% and thats pretty dangerous. but again i do know her painting broad strokes is also dangerous but it’s also just hard to take you seriously if you’re going to make up stats
Julia said women can't sing. She didn't qualify it in anyway. Jewish women can sing. They may not be allowed to sing publicly, but Julia never said that.
@@PrincessSixThirteen in fact she said that her dad gave her the permission to sing in the house but not when they had guests. Obviously it's a religious belief but it's a discrimination for her prospective
Not to be able to sing publicly is monstruous.
@@PrincessSixThirteen actually Miriam discusses only being able to sing at home on the show with her father. Not being able to sing in public still sucks if that's not how you want to live.
Well done Berel. Thank you for setting the record straight.
As is typical unfortunately with most so called "reality tv shows” is that the producers twist the facts to make it more interesting for the viewers. Hopefully anyone with intelligence will realise this when watching.
I'm Jewish not Orthodox but I do respect your response related to Netflix, I watched and felt not right, very judgmental.
I really enjoyed this video. Very educational for someone like me who's not Jewish! Thank you.
What he needs to do his stop bashing the netflix show and not take it personal because it's her story. His beliefs/religions is up to him... But remember that they grew up differently.
@@DisneyCruiseShip He is not bashing. The show is actually the ONE bashing us.
I'm Jewish and religious but not orthodox. I love my religion and seeing a show like that is kind of hurtful in a way.
I'm Jewish, and this isn't educational, they are just trying to spin very disturbing sexism in their community with half-truths. Please do not use this as a source.
@Emily Boru She lies trying to portray her life that she was locked into a community like Kiryas Yoel or New Square . She was libera Yeshivish/modern Orthodox. She is lying and bashing traditional Judaism as fundamentalist and dangerous!
@@AS-pg5zl obviously you watched the wrong Netflix.. she certainly never had any such issues w her marriage.
First point - she said sex is a taboo and you disagree but go ahead and list why it is a taboo. What's the point of watching anything else you say if that's the logic your going to use
So glad you put this video out. More poeple need to see this.
Agree!!!
I feel upset watching this show. I stopped at the 3rd episode.
@MyNameIsJeff1 111 could we talk about any poor person on welfare, as if its exclusive to jews!!!!!
@MyNameIsJeff1 111 you seem to be generalizing an off a lot. Of course there are issues in each community, but when you generalize it totally de-legitimizes your claims.
@MyNameIsJeff1 111 Julia Haart’s ex husband was a Wharton graduate !
We really appreciated how well you both explained these things, and also how respectful you were while explaining. Thank you.
Well you should think again this man is a danger to the Jewish community, he’s the reason antisemitism is running wild. He wants Jews to be with Jews, Italians with Italians Greeks with Greeks that’s dangerous, that’s dividing our culture, that saying we don’t want any part of your culture and that’s why antisemitism is running wild in this country because of people like him saying we don’t eat bacon like the devil only eats bacon, where are university thought bad influence. Could you imagine that are universities are bad influences the biggest college in the world have gone to some of the universities like yell, like Harv it, like Princeton the greater schools in the world but they are a bad influence , so how could you even get this guy even justice how could you say he’s doing a good thing he’s dangerous to the community to the Jewish community. I’m half Jewish half Italian I live in a secular world not in the ultra Orthodox fundamentalist, I live among Italians I live among Catholics, I live among protestants, I want to share their culture is not run away from it these people wanna run from it and that’s why antisemitism is running wild
I’m not Jewish but I’ve met Orthodox Jews and worked with them and I’ve never heard the women say their miserable or act in such a manner lol. There were things that I actually admired about their way of life and found beautiful. So when I watched this show I was not moved by Julia’s statements and I found her dismissive attitude towards her community disrespectful. I don’t like the way she tries to push her lifestyle to her kids either. If the kids find being orthodox a way of life and their happy she should respect that just as she demands respect of her current views. We should be respectful of other peoples views and beliefs even if they don’t align with ours. Great video!
This show just sounds like a rebellious person with a platform, promoting unhealthy behaviors. I can empathize with her struggle with all the rules/laws, but her arrogance does not prove she is free either.
The fact that a woman ultimately needs the approval of their husband to actually “get” a divorce is mind blowing. That’s not what equality looks like to me. I can appreciate many beautiful parts of your religion, but this one bites the dust for me.
It’s a two way street. Women can refuse a Get also, but unlike women, men can go get remarried with no consequences.
Same.
@@KeshetAylonit so then her refusal is irrelevant. Technically she is dismissed and no longer married to her husband.
I don't think Julia Haart is 100% truthful but the way the woman in this video is just sitting there looking like her husband has to give her permission to talk and the fact she has to wear a wig (it's obvious) is a bit odd.
100% agree…as it is the case with most religions and their desire to oppress and control women
its funny how many groups that claim to fight against anti-Semitism, are not saying anything about this, its a shame how the charadi community is treated among the non religious Jewish ppl
That show is very cringe. Thank you for sharing your views. I’m tired of Orthodox Jews being painted as something they are not. I’m not Orthodox Jewish but it’s just lame seeing the same negative media portrayal over and over…
So glad you made this video. Watching other Netflix shows opened my window to learn about Judaism and I highly admire the religion. It’s disappointing how the show’s focus is quick fame and sabotage the religion. The CONTEXT is everything. I will be sharing this video👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼. This in all religions there are wounded souls but do not represent the whole population. We all have problems in all lives.
You guys are LEGENDS!! Proper loving these videos! Am sharing it to all my friends in the Jewish South African community :)
I was intrigued by the show because I thought to myself how cool, to learn about a different culture. I’m Native American and I love learning about different cultures. I felt uncomfortable watching the show because it portrayed such a shallow existence, imo, and how it basically demonized an entire group of people, and that is not right. I couldn’t finish the show! Thank you for shedding more light on this situation. Also, no hate to the family in the show, they are living life how they want to.
I appreciate your point of view but it's her side of the experience. It's her story and her view.
firstly, as Christy said, it is Julia's experience, yet it's not hers alone, and none of what she said is truly false. the misogyny there is real. it in many ways parallels a cult.. in the attempts to silence people, especially women, and deny them of any right to an identity, to education, self-determination, and a right to express. Moreover, the Heart family's representation actually reflects a far wider array of jewish observance, from secular, to modern orthodox, to yeshivish, to Hasidic -- far more accurate and nuanced than the media's oft linear portrayal.
@@ilanaleibowitz9370 Only attention whores have the need to lie about orthodox Judaism. PS As for your "cult" comment, you don't know your ass from your elbow because simply by definition Judaism is the furthest thing from a cult as one can get. It's hard as hell to "join" Judaism and with cults they actively seek out members. You really missed the boat. Sow how misguided yo actually are. Pathetic.
@@ilanaleibowitz9370 i just watched something about"lev tahor"... that s a cult!!! nothing else! i agree with all religions,when it don"t go at the extreme...
They are living the best life in my opinion. Lol
This was very insightful. I worked at orthodox Jewish men owned company while ago. When I started it, it was middle of summer and I was wearing spaghetti strap sundress. The owner told my boss- who was not Jewish- to tell me if I could cover up my bare arms. At first I thought it was amusing and strange but since I was working in their office, I decided to be respectful. After a while, they all got used to me and ended up working there for 10 years. Those guys were one of the coolest I had worked for and I learned a lot about the culture. Thank you for educating ppl!
He asked respectfully and you complied respectfully and learned a lot! Wonderful ❤
I am not Jewish and I consider myself a very open minded person. I believe that it is fine for her to change her life, it is her right and she is inspirational in some ways. I did however feel uncomfortable with how she obsessed about her children practising their religion and culture, they should be allowed to decide for themselves, she is a bully regarding that topic and contradicts herself. Parents can only lay a foundation and then lead by example, children should not be forced in a direction. I also did not appreciate the way she spoke to her oldest daughter and especially her son-in-law, I felt sorry for him, inlaws can be awful and on international tv it is even worse. Writing and speaking about their sex life is cringe. I accept she wasn't happy, we don't know what happens behind closed doors and she obviously did not love her religion but everyone is different. Typical showbiz, I also found their clothing a bit over the top, I am not conservative regarding clothes but it felt that they wanted to make a statement by showing too much flesh all the time. The hems were extremely high and the cleavage was shown a little to much to often. That was done for shock value and I thought it to be a little tacky. She is my age and I feel we should not dress like teens anymore but that's just me. Miriam kissing her girlfriends and Julia her husband seemed so forced and uncomfortable, the show was definitely heavily scripted.
You sound like an older person and I think all that comes clearly across for anyone with a grain of common sense! But the younger crowd has none of it, nor can they see through the liberal agenda Julia keeps shoving down everyone's throat. And that is why Berels video was created!
I don't give a shit what she does with her one kids. My issue is her perpetual lying.
That’s all Juli is doing laying down a foundation, her youngest son is still very much into Monsey community Shlohmo oldest son still prayers a few hours a day and the oldest daughter is very much religious getting away from being fundamentalist. . Like a 28 years old wearing pants for the first time . This man and woman said what you call fundamentalist to me it’s normal, but it’s still fundamentalist to the rest of the world. The thing Julia really want and I don’t blame her she wants her youngest son to be a secular education. The Ultra orthodox fundamentalist don’t believe in college education, they claim all universities are bad influence, could you imagine at Harvard, Princeton, Yale a bad influence some of the greatest scholars in the world have gone through schools and if you call them a bad influence then we’re in trouble, This man and woman claiming that Jewish people, should stay with Jewish people Italians with Italians and Greeks with Greeks that’s completely anti-American we’re supposed to enjoy each other’s culture , share each other‘s culture but they wanna be alone they don’t want us in our culture and that’s why antisemitism is running wild in his country . It’s because of people like this to spread and hate, and knocking Julia. I bet you didn’t know that Julia on New Year’s Eve this year was in the Ukraine, driving an ambulance bring a medical supplies to the wounded . She could’ve been in New York City cinema calamitous parties in New York City no, but this woman that these people are: bad she was helping others, that’s what I call brave, that’s what I call fighting for America, that’s what I call freedom for all people nachos Jewish people, nachos Italian people nachos Ukrainian people of all people. She’s fighting for our freedom, and that’s When I called a brave woman not someone spreading hate and dividing all our cultures
I’m still watching the series. It seems scripted and very “reality show” directed.
Me and my whole family converted to Judaism. We love it. It’s so meaningful. This is explained very well 👍🏼
Mazel Tov!
...you cant convert only being born into it...
@@lauran1962 that is an extremely false statement
@@lauran1962 that has never been true what
@@lauran1962 you can't just decide you're jewish and be jewish but conversion is definitely possible its a complex long process
This is absolutely amazing. The whole community has been trying to find ways to express this. You accomplished exactly that. A lot of the things that Julia is speaking of are not in practice in alot of communities/sects. A huge blatant lack of context. Thank you 🙏
@@carolineleonardo7720 Exactly. The reaction to the show is showing us that what Julia said was true. There is a high price to pay for women who do not follow the designated path. They are shamed and demonized and discarded. Healthy communities can be introspective when criticized. I saw so many Rabbi's slut shaming Julia.. for what? Choosing her own life. That is not healthy.
@@carolineleonardo7720 she doesn't express it as HER experience, but the Orthodox experience. She is trying to shame the entire community.
@@carolineleonardo7720 Actually they are not in practice in her previous community, as I am a part of that community. The show didn't bother me, but it was defamation at best. If I'd tell people *you* were tormenting people, you'd be defensive pretty fast, and especially if it weren’t true. She most definitely did not have a very joyous life, which is unfortunate , and I feel for her 100%. But it IS wrong to lie and slander a Community just to make yourself feel justified for leaving.
@@carolineleonardo7720 I live in her old community total bs
@@keepingitkianatural for lying about us
Yasher Koach! The best part of this is that you took her own words and told the TRUTH to what Julia was saying. The funny thing is she doesn't really say why she left. Except that she was held back...but held back from what???
Sounds like a bunch of excuses to me…and, your wife was deferring to you on every question, looking over to make sure she was saying the correct thing. It is what it is…FUNDAMENTALISM! And, as Julia said, any form of fundamentalism is dangerous. Regardless of the religion.
Good job. Netflix is an entertainment company. There is no one way to live an orthodox life or traditional life, each person has the right to do what works for them. Netflix has a way of desecrating Jewish life, they need to get a life!
@luxe life stop killing yourselves first....and on top of that, your lies dont sell. The world knows who you are. Period.
@luxe life you're off your rocker
@Healing Yourself where did killing Palestinians come from this video is talking about the truth about orthodox judiasm where in the video did they mention Palestinians
@@shayahmurad491 exactly..what is this person talking about??
Hey guys, great work.
Just a note, if your audience includes people not familiar with Jewish terminology, make sure to translate and explain all Hebrew terms that you use.
Your wife looks sad and like she’s remembering her lines lol
The acid thing is such a blatant lie. I couldn’t believe my ears!!
Yea like what what what...?!?? Say that again, are you talking about passover cleaning??
@@AF-dq9vn LOL
Unfortunately, and I hate to say this, that part of the show isn't so simple. There are schools that used to (or still do) teach their students that that's what will happen to them after they die if they don't dress modestly. It's messed up and extremely sad that there are educators who believe fear is the right approach. I'm just glad that Jew in the City exists. One of the things they're doing is trying to find the schools that are using harmful approaches and teach them the proper way to educate their students.
I know! Lol, I was struggling to figure out what in the world she was talking about when I heard her say it! I used to cry watching Unorthodox and refused to watch this kind of programming, but I started to because I think it's dangerous to start throwing bits and pieces out there that as he explains is taken out of context. Or completely fictional like, acid, clothes wash?!
Where did this idea even originate from? I’m assuming there must be, at least, a grain of truth somewhere in her declaration.
Finally someone to represent the orthodox community online.
Thanks for defending the orthodox . They are just attacked so often.
They attack themselves by their stupid and backwards behavior such as for instance their unwilligness to take Covid seriously and wear masks, socially distance, take vaccines etc. All of which causes greater death rates in their own community but which they persistently deny. Just like all other forms of religious fanaticism.
@@NYCOPERAFAN ah, there is the tolerant liberal.
@@molivson So typical of the violent supremacist right - demanding "tolerance" for themselves but in principle refusing to grant it to others who are supposed to pander and grovel to them and cater to their every entitled whim.
I think you need to consider every human can share similar lives but still have a unique experience. Everyone should also be allowed to have their on beliefs and express their values how they want!
Sure... But she wasn't sharing her experience. She was shoving her "correct" liberal values down your throat and bashing other people's values and lifestyle choices. Compare to "Unorthodox" and see the difference. THAT was about sharing a woman's sad and unfortunate experience. THIS is about glorifying Julia's lifestyle choices and applauding her for not being a "backward primitive and misogynistic" because she left a husband she felt trapped with, got a job, and raised her kids using her own value system. Wow. Cuz nobody else does that.
I'm not Jewish, but I'm glad you stood up to this woman and this show.
Yes, because they are ✡and running the world and they're not paying tax.
Jews lie and worship satan.
For what? Speaking her truth 😂.
If you are happily married then you have a beautiful life and don't feel oppressed. Your husband will support your career if you choose to have one.
If you are unhappy in your marriage and your husband beats you,doesn't support you having a career and he is jealous and controlling then you might say "women are oppressed."
We should not judge that one religion is better or worse than another.
We should learn what different religions are all about so we can better understand those we perceive to be different. We just might find out we are more similar than different.
Did you notice that her ex husband had a dog in their Monsey home? A little indoor poodle. That fact stand on its own. Her life with her ex husband was not a fundamentalist environment.
And you would know better than her because u experienced her life right?
Maybe he got it afterwards? Who knows?
@@zxck28 i know personally very frum Jews. The fundamentalist do not have indoor dogs.
You realize that there are levels to fundamentalism right? And the fact still remains was that the father was comfortable doing modern things within the house but not in the outside conservative community. His daughter expressed how she was was not allowed to sing if there was a male outside of the family present. And you think that isn’t fundamentalist? You have to be so deluded. You’re the type of cushioned woke person that has never lived in a non secular society. Your ignorance is truly radiating.
@@ns2110theonly It seems like you have not been overseas to fundamentalist counties. I have news for you. I’m an immigrant that came from a country with has similar “rules.” Don’t hide behind the term “rules” as a poor excuse to belittle the status of women. Rules should have a practical purpose to them. Not singing in front of non related males is not a rule, it’s a barbaric practice that should be cast away. There were many “rules” in the past that justified slavery. By your logic we should just abide by any “rule” even if it’s not ethically sound. In my motherland, women have to wear a veil completely. Are you going to sit here and tell me that women should just deal with it because it’s simply a rule? Stfu
Love this and thank you for taking the time to educate people about the Judaism, those Netflix show’s are giving such a bad reputation to our community.
I'm Christian but I really truly love your culture. I have good friends that are Orthodox Jewish and I'm learning so much from them. Thank you for your culture ✡
Glad you made this video because when I watched the first episode of Julia Hart’s serial, I was horrified by what she said about her community. I always thought Jews were some of the most forward thinking people, but she made them sound like very backward- thinking ,close -minded folk. So this was good to see.
They can be both. No one's experience is the same. Julia's experience is true for her.
@@ttttyyyty911 yes... absolutely
Very well said Berel!!! We need to send this to the netflix producers!!!
Thank you for this video! I am a reformed Jew who found herself rooming with two Orthodox Jewish women at college. I didn't know much about Orthodox Jews so it was a great learning experience. I became really good friends with one of them and we would often joke how our little suite in our dorm was like a mini United Nations! We had one reformed Jew, one Conservative Jew, two Orthodox Jews, one Christian, and one Muslim in our little crew.
Keep the unity and diversity going
@@eatmyshorts7973 ALWAYS!!!!
I’m a Bukharian Jew and I never knew most of these things. Thank you so much for explaining this to in the best way possible.
Thank you so much for sharing your hearts and facts about being Orthodox Jewish people. I have not seen the show, but I am so thankful you both have brought to light and brought clarity of the truth of being and living in an Orthodox community. It's truly beautiful!
i'm from mexico and i made a speech in shul about this tv show, some points a little different then u, it's great to watch this happening!
My husband comes from a mixed faith family. Some are strict practice some reform practice. No one I have ever met in these families have ever behaved in this way! Did no t make it through even the first episode. Found it distasteful.
I watched the entire series. Julia and some of the other family members (including her ex-husband) made a point to say that what they experienced and how they grew up were NOT what we would normally consider to be modern Orthodox Judaism. She explicitly said that how SHE and her immediate family, and many others in their town of Monsey, were part of a FUNDAMENTALIST Orthodox Jewish faith & way of life. Towards the end of the series, the ex-husband is talking to the youngest son, Aron, about how Judaism is on a spectrum, and not all Jews are in the same part of that spectrum. This idea is very similar to other faiths, and has been shown in tv shows most recently with Fundamentalist Mormonism & polygamy. Shows like Big Love and Sister Wives depict a form of Mormonism that created an uproar in the mainstream, modern Mormon community. I see this My Unorthodox Life as creating a similar uproar (as evidenced by this video and many of the comments below).
Amazing job, thank you so much for allowing people to hear the side.
"We believe in the Joy of Life"....i love that, thank you Berel!
Dor Hafluga times. This one can’t relate to this one, and that one can’t relate to that one.
Thank you for making this! SAD that there is so much misinformation and that it, unfortunately, finds a loud voice. She must know that she is not telling the whole truth, and therefore she (and not just Netflix) is responsible for this...despicable.
Good on you to clarify. The world needs this stand that you make as the rest of the world doesn't understand the reasoning for keeping things sacred.
Personally, I applaud anyone who leaves a religion where they feel oppressed. If you truly don't feel that way, more power to you. Just know you're only human like the rest of us, and you need to treat everyone equally and respect people's choices. Respect can only be a mutual thing.
True it's the person's choice- but don't trash a religion while doing it. I feel for those who do have a negative experience but that does not encompass the religion as a whole. That's the problem with Jewish representation- it focuses on all the stereotypes and not any truths. It's very rare to see accurate Jewish representation in the media.
@@Maddie-gx6us All religions have some ridiculous, if not oppressive, rituals, customs and traditions, even if those do nothing to benefit their members. (Others appear to be harmless, if not beneficial.) There's a few that just need to be done away with, in my opinion. So please don't take this personally, I'm not trying to just single out Judaism. With all due respect, and I do respect humans who deserve respect (that respect can only be mutual, of course), but as far as religion goes, none deserve my respect, especially not the Abrahamic ones.
@@Maddie-gx6us I only trash trashy religions (which is all of them, lol). Nothing personal. I like people, it's religion I despise. It's always done far more harm than good. Much misery in it's wake. If there's one invention I wish humans didn't create, it's religion.
Can I ask if you were religious at one point? I'm honestly curious because more often than not someone who has an athiestic perspective has been hurt by the religion of their youth. Not trying to preach but understand.
@@Maddie-gx6us Oh brother, lol. It's the usual "Something 'bad' must have happened for you to turn against all religions, you poor thing." Well, sorry to perhaps disappoint you, but no, nothing bad ever happened (other than the usual wrath of sexually-frustrated nuns and their 12-inch rulers. Oh, and pedophile priests, of course. But they never abused me, they only seem to like little boys. 😪). Anyway, luckily religion didn't dominate my life, so no major trauma. All that happened was something very good; my brain happens to be a sensible, logical, reasonable one, so that as I grew and matured, my brain did, too. Damned brain, I can't control it, I can only educate it. And now it rejects nonsense and accepts reality, like it or not. My brain has a mind of its own. No one can instantly "choose" to believe or not to believe, that comes gradually by keeping an open mind and using critical-thinking skills. But thanks for your concern! Take care, and be well. And get vaccinated! Don't be a menace to society!
Please direct me to the facts in this video. I seem to have missed them.
I just see a lot of opinions in the guise of facts. Maybe I should make a reaction video with ACTUAL facts.
Yeah, would be nice
My exact thoughts, let's make one.
These are facts. Based on a solid Jewish education. If you have a lifetime to learn them, feel free to make a video. Its a free country. Maybe you can get a Netflix show too, especially if you're willing to bash religion.
@@molivson I went to an ultra-Orthodox Hasidic school and got "a solid Jewish education." I also literally spent my lifetime learning the "facts" of religious Judaism. Please continue to lecture me on my lack of knowledge. Also, I am not anti-religious; many of my friends are still religious and we respect each others' differences. I have opinions on the flaws of the system, but that doesn't take away from my respect for certain traditions that are beautiful and helpful. I simply believe that people should back up their statements with facts, rather than creating a video that is full of opinions, with very few facts, and calling it "fact-checking" the show.
@@molivson I also have seen a few videos with REAL facts, not opinions, that call out problematic parts of the show. Don't get me wrong; there are some unrealistic and untrue parts of the show. I just think that when you make a reaction video that claims to fact-check, you should bring in cold facts to back yourself up.
Thank you for this video! I haven't watched many of these types of series and I think it is a shame how the media paints your beautiful community. I am a Roman Catholic that share many values that this society deems as 'fundamentalist'. Thank you for your charitable clarification :)
Thank you for your help with understanding. I did watch this show (Im not Jews) but I felt this was so wrong in so many ways just as a wife, mother and how you teach your family. Her dress, language and demands I fell are wrong in so many ways. Thank you again so much for clearifying this.
Everyone's experiences are different, in the show there was a woman who felt the same as Julia but couldn't leave the religion. Julia is only trying to spread light on hers and other people's negative experience, just as you can spread your positive view! Julia Haart's problem is not Judaism, it's fundamentalism. She has a voice and I'm glad she spoke and many are, too!
Thats what I feel. She has a right to share her story.
if you read the torah you would learn how special women are and were the ones that protested the golden calf
The rebbetzin said ...."maybe she felt imprisoned but that has nothing to do with religion"....brilliant!!
Berel and Eliana do a great job of giving us the facts and the "whole picture" of what Julia leaves out. The issue about women singing is a good example. A woman can sing and share her love of music, and there are some rules like a single woman cant sing in front of a group of guys.
In religious Judaism, a woman or girl can't sing in front of ANY guys except for her father, grandfather, husband or brother. It is not just a group. This means that women are restricted to sing only before other women. This is inherently problematic because the reasoning behind it is that a man will become aroused by a woman's voice. Men should be held accountable for their own actions. A woman's beauty or body or voice does not "cause a man to sin." His own person chooses to act sinfully or otherwise. Women should not be told what to do because it will affect men. Let men be responsible for themselves and leave us women alone.
@@fk3798 well ya, depends on how religious you are
This is actually incorrect! I am Orthodox (from birth), a woman, and a singer. I've performed many solos in front of men, at everywhere from Orthodox day school to Carnegie Hall.
There is absolutely no prohibition against Jewish women singing in front of men. There _is_ a law with different customs about when (not if) a Jewish man can _listen_ to a woman. I'll elaborate in a moment, but first I want to explain why this distinction is so important.
As an Orthodox woman, I am allowed to sing in front of men. If the men are Jewish, it's up to them to decide if they want to listen to me. If their custom is that they can listen, they can listen. If their custom prevents them from listening in that circumstance, they shouldn't be in attendance. If the men are not Jewish, this is a non-issue.
Bear in mind that all of this is only meant to apply when the woman in question is a potential sexual partner. A man can listen to a woman sing once they are married. A man can also listen to his mother, daughter, sister, grandmother, or granddaughter sing. For any other woman, it depends on the situation.
The prohibition against listening to kol isha [the voice of a Jewish woman] only applies if the singing is sexually stimulating. It is widely accepted that there is no issue if a man listens to a woman singing prayers, _zemirot_ (Shabbos hymns), lullabies, or at a funeral. These are all non-sexual situations.
Beyond that, opinions diverge. Some hold that men cannot listen to one Jewish woman's voice in pretty much any other context. Others hold that men _can_ listen one woman's voice in pretty much _every_ context. The question of what constitutes sexual stimulation is obviously subjective.
Note that I wrote _one_ Jewish woman's voice." Regardless of the custom, _kol isha_ refers to a voice in the singular. It only ever means _one_ woman. This does not mean that it only includes solos, as some feel that you can still clearly differentiate between the voices in a duet. But three or more women sing in unison, once again, there is no issue. (And by unison, I mean the same vocal part as well as the same time.)
But for people who are more lenient, you don't need three women or even two. You can listen to a Jewish woman sing solo. Perhaps you draw the line at love songs, perhaps you draw it at overtly sexual songs, perhaps you draw it at songs that you personally find arousing, or songs that are meant to personally arouse _you._
Whatever the man's custom, it has nothing to do with me. I can sing my heart out.
Of course, if a man does not listen to women sing, I am not going to perform a solo for him. That would be disrespectful. That is a valid position, even though I disagree with it. He has a right to draw that boundary for himself.
But no one is going to stop me from joining in when everyone sings _zemirot_ together at the Shabbos table. And so far, no one has ever tried. Like I said, that one is commonly accepted.
Yes, there are right-wing Orthodox and Chareidi communities where women and even young girls do not sing in front of men at all. (Except for the always permitted relatives.) I do take issue with that, to be honest, as this is a distortion of Jewish law. Within the law, you can be more stringent (3+ women per vocal part) or you can be more lenient (a man should only sing to a song that arouses him if the singer is his wife). But as far as I'm concerned, you need to stay within that spectrum or you're abusing the system. It's fine if you're just taking something additional upon yourself. It's not fine if you impose that on other people.
But like I said, I'm writing all of this as an Orthodox woman singer! My family, friends, and yes, my rabbi have always been hugely encouraging of my singing. And yes, _all_ of them ask me to sing for them and are very happy to listen.
@@TheLadyWhoLunches Thank you so much for sharing that context, though I don't think it does what you think. From what you've said there are many situations where it is at least inappropriate to sing in front of unrelated men. It also seems very clear that your experience is not typical of many ultra-orthodox women as many of them feel (or were told outright) that they are not allowed to sing in public. The reality is that there is restriction that many seculars find perplexing and maybe even unsettling.
@@keepingitkianatural You're very welcome! I understand what you're saying and part of it is absolutely right. I am Orthodox, not Chareidi ("ultra-Orthodox"), so my experience does not represent that of Chareidi women. Chareidi women _do_ sing in public, but only for all-female audiences and-for those that use social media-on online platforms. There's actually been a surge in Chareidi women singers posting music videos on UA-cam, Instagram, and Spotify! (If you want to read more about this, there was an article about it a few months ago in Tablet. It was called "Music Videos-for Women Only.") Bear in mind, these are generally women who don't feel comfortable with men hearing them sing. Much of it just comes down to cultural differences.
While I have strong opinions on this myself, I wanted to give a thorough overview of the opinions that you'll find within halakha [Jewish law]. Because the thing is, most of the time, there isn't just one accepted opinion for everyone, even within the same community. Different people have different customs. That's why it's so important for us to choose a community where people's customs align with our own. (My family moved for that very reason!)
In Modern Orthodoxy, there is no issue at all with women singing in front of men. It's only a question of whether men can be present if women sing solos or if the lyrics are sexual. And again, these questions do not have unified answers! Different people, schools, and communities have different customs. I can't think of anything that I wouldn't sing in front of a male audience. And I can't think of anything my Orthodox (male) friends wouldn't hear me sing!
Thank you for doing this... I watched the show out of curiosity for the Jewish faith and found it to be contradictory to what I understood. I find all religion fascinating, the Jewish community is relatively closed off so it is helpful you have gone through this clip to give balance. Thank you
If you're genuinely interested in learning more, check out Peter Santanello's docuseries on Hassidic Jews available on UA-cam.
@@estylizmi thank you I will check it out
Thank you for speaking truth!
May you be blessed
I haven't seen the show because I no longer use Netflix, but I'm so glad you made this video! Many of my Christian friends take things in our tradition out of context and I'm constantly showing them how it's meant to be. I dislike "Reality TV"... there never seems to anything real about it. Thank you for your effort.
I just like to see things from both sides and I feel like a few points were skipped over. In the documentary she mentioned her experiences wasn’t all of Judaism and her daughter is still a religious Jew. Also, most people should know not every thing you read/hear is 100% correct and whatever the topic, everyone can have a different opinion or experience. She also says many times though out this is not how all Jewish communities are. The series did not make me think it represented the whole Jewish community.
Just to clarify, her show isn't a documentary, it's "reality TV" -- which is notoriously scripted and edited to present whatever opinions the producers want. Real documentaries are carefully researched, and different sides are investigated and discussed.
Agreed. Same
Hey Berel. A entirely different persona than linkedn. You did a incredible job and I like this Berel better.
Better than which other Berel?
Well done, thanks for doing this.... lovely to learn more on your culture, religion and customs. I have to say that julia's ex seemed such a lovely and understanding man. I couldn't watch the entire season.
I agree with SO much of this EXCEPT: the part where you say that Italians marry Italians, Greeks marry Greeks - and insinuate that Jews don’t marry out because of cultural differences. But we have SO many cultural differences in the Jewish community! We’re so diverse!!! Moroccans, Ashkenaz from different places, Yekkes, Ethiopians, Indians, Persians…the list goes on and on! Not to mention converts from every cultural background. One of the most beautiful things about Judaism is we share these core Torah principles within incredible cultural diversity. Important difference to make. There’s no place for racism in Judaism.
I live in Orange County NY near KJ I’m glad you explained. Alot of people hate on the community , but I like to learn about different religions. Thanks for sharing
I definitely felt like there was a lot of problematic stuff going on in the show, first of all that the less clothes you where the more respected you are. Also a lot of generalisations seemed to be made, I don’t really know much about the orthodox Jewish community apart from some things I’ve read and seen, but I’m pretty sure that in any community there are always going to be variations and different ideas because people are generally not going to agree on everything. It just seems like the definition of freedom was basically to wear less clothes, make out with loads of guys, post post post your whole life online, and have lots of money. But that’s not true happiness. It was annoying how they were demonising Aaron’s religiosity it really pissed me off to be honest. Also the whole emotional manipulation and getting upset with him, that was definitely not one of her finest moments on the show. It’s fine to have your own idea about the world, but she was basically doing the same thing that she was accusing her so-called community of doing which was pushing her ideas on everybody else. It was very ironic. I found it so cringe when she showed that orthodox lady who was thinking of getting out of the community the vibrator, and then when she did the makeover and put her in jeans and a low cut top. Like she was some sort of possession or doll I don’t know it was really really cringe to me. I know part of it is for shock value and it is a reality TV show after all, I guess they are the new Jewish Kardashians but yeah very strange stuff. A repetition of the cycle but on the other extreme I believe. Thank you for this video it was really informative.
This was so informative! I’ve always been fascinated and curious about orthodox judiaism..and was really confused. This helped clarify things!
Bravo! So well said! Such a merit to our people, our Torah, and our Gd.
I usually don't say this kind of thing since I believe each person has their own experience and truth. (For example, "Unorthodox" was the protagonist's real experience since she came from such a dysfunctional family, and I don't invalidate the dysfunction she lived through.) But here, I know for a fact that Julia didn't even raise her daughters in such a strict community. She sent her daughters to a mainstream religious school. Not a school that is overly religiously strict. Just a regular, normal school. There are definitely schools in the Jewish community that hold of way more than just the letter of the law, but the school her girls attended is just normal religious and nothing that is seen as crazy at all. Also, kind of a side point - there are other things in the show that are literally just for the reality show aspect and %10000000 staged, completely completely made up. Based on what I know, I'm guessing that "Sarah" was just acting for the show and that whole storyline was made up. Which would make more sense because so many things about those scenes didn't make much sense to be real. I really think probably about 75% was staged and/or made up. (Making up also meaning not her specific experience.) Also, it's morning and I haven't slept last night, so that's why this is written so ineloquently.
I am intrigued about the staged parts...
You can't deny the fact that it is hard to leave the community. You put it as just "a way of life", but you fail to realize that a shared preference for certain actions amongst a group of people creates what is called a social norm which is a tremendous force. So given that in this case the shared preference includes a lot of restrictions and it has become a social norm, I think you can understand why people feel restricted and call it an 'escape'.
True that, but Julia didn’t come from that world & had no such religious norms to “escape” from. Neither her parents, siblings or ex-husband are anything like that. The fact that secular people don’t understand the difference between middle-of-the-road orthodoxy & the much stricter fundamentalism, is strange. You all have Google & the Internet.
Every community and lifestyle have social norms its part of the world. Of that's the case berel escaped from the secular world. Of course it's hard to leave not bec anyone holding u back its bec the person wants to fit in and be accepted no matter he/she does. When u move from societal norms of one community u move into societal norms for a diff community the person has to weigh his options risk/reward when switching communites.
there are ppl who feels the pressure
i also couldnt find my self in my community. i just figured out that i don't have to be that extreme. god gave us the right to choose
what i did was just find myself more modern community. but never thought our tradition or laws was to escape from
I'm still orthodox in my own way.
o think Julia just took the extreme side of it. i wish i could talk to her before.
@@dinaabr If Berel choose to express his religious choice as escape from secularism (many Jews often extoll the dangers of the wide world and how ungodly it is) that is his right and there'd probably be some truth to it... just like there is truth in what Julia has said.
It isn't hard to leave. People give up being religiously observant all the time. No one is being held hostage.
Thank u so much for this video. Ur work is imperative as the new face for orthodoxy against Netflix and the negative portrayals of orthodoxy.
what do you think about the unorthodox first netflix series based on deborah feldman's books?
Thus I believe this wonderful couple speak from their hearts it is my humble believe they are being naive. This is like a person from Australia speaking for all Australians. Thus must of what they say is true, it does not mean that what they say is true and what others are saying is not.
Same as Christians, many of my Christian friends cringe at listening to some other Christians believe, this is the same thing.
Agreed
Check out Peter santenello channel
They are not being naive, but trying to state the facts correctly as they pertain to ALL Jews. (They do come across as a bit naive though) What they are trying to do is fight back against the glorification of Julia's personal experience and highly ignorant "knowledge" of Judaism. Of course everyone practices a bit differently. But people are kind and supportive and warm, not rigid and controlling. Like if someone went to camp and got sexually abused and said all counselors only take the job because all counselors are pedophiles. Julia has extrapolated from her personal experience and is declaring that all Jews are like the ones she had troubles with. Of course not everyone is as healthy and functional as Berels and Eliana but the majority of people should be represented as well as the minority . Media in general seeks dysfunction and revels in it. And we (the ultra Orthodox with the weird rules who are absolutely and unabashedly content with our lives) our should be represented too.
This was Great! Very informative and great clarrifications
I was educated by Chassidic teachers & Rabbis in a girls Yeshiva for high school and yes there were gaps in my education but it workes out for me
I had one teacher Rabbi Zwick who encouraged me to go to art school which was probably the only person at that point who was positive about my" scribbling" I went on to get a degree in Fine Art
Today and i live near Monsey. I'm not observant but i love and respect our religion and traditions. The people around me (secular Jews especially) can be very ignorant regarding our orthodox neighbors and it can really be upsetting to see such prejudice in so called affirming and accepting liberals... this Netflix show adds to the misinfo around...
your video is amazing and helpful to me!!! Thank you
Correction regarding women singing. Women are allowed to sing, but Halacha is that she cannot sing in front of a man
And only by herself. But in a groip it is allowed. Also, if the man doesn't know how she looks like, he can listen.
And the Halacha is that a man shouldn’t listen to a woman sing, meaning that the man should walk away for a woman singing, the Halacha is imposed on a man not women shouldn’t sing in front of men
Well, many customs in the orthodox community are halachos twisted!
Lol, what a disgusting and backwards ideology.
@@ns2110theonly it’s not anti-Semitic. Other religions have this same exact practice and I would say the same exact thing about them. Morally and ethics does not pick and choose based on faith. A wrong is a wrong regardless of your religious or cultural background. A practice that is rooted in misogyny should be stated as such.
If anyone can please explain the acid part on the clothing, please enlighten me.
I am part of the monsey orthodox Jewish community and have kids of my own in this community, and have no clue what this is about
Everyone's personal environment is different. While this person's account (on My Unorthodox Life) may seem extreme, that doesn't mean we should discount it completely. Every community, no matter how homogeneous, has people with vastly different opinions and experiences.
There should be a video on how born-again Christians are portrayed by Hollywood, it would fill thousands of hours.