Celebrating the holidays when you're alone | Mel Robbins
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- Опубліковано 23 сер 2024
- For some of us the holidays are all about celebrating time off and reflecting on the year with family. For others, it is a painful time of year.
It doesn't have to be.
I received this question in an email and I wanted to address the reality of being alone during a time that is celebratory for many of us. It doesn't have to be isolating or painful -- it CAN be a time for you to create a new tradition or rewrite a memory. In this video I explain some tools to do just that. I hope you have an incredible end to the year, and even if it isn't what the media paints to be a perfect celebration of the year, you can still make it YOURS.
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I’ve been spending the holidays alone for years. I surround myself with lots of reading, reflecting, and enjoying my Arts and Crafting! I love it! If you continue to reflect negatively on things that don’t matter you will be depressed. Why be embarrassed, find ways to enjoy yourself.
Cool Crafty Creations 💕💕
Cool Crafty Creations that's the spirit buddy three cheers for you 🥁
Awesome! I have VERY UNUSUAL new traditions and learning to feel ok with them. Like the not isolating...most people talk about helping the homeless. But there so many other charaties that are ignored...my heart is drawn to animals! So I volunteer with local animal shelter and even help with holiday mobile adoption events. My other things are going into nature. And like you Crafting! I look at my UA-cam playlist of crafts I'm going to work on "someday" and make the holidays time to work on them!
Hi Cool Crafty Creations, Glad I'm not the only one who think this way! thank you for sharing.
I cook, bake, sew, sleep, walk, avoid shopping centers like the plague, oh and stay out of debt. It's wonderful. I go church. Go drive in the country. Decorate a little bit.
I just adore having no obligations. I use it as a time to hibernate like people truly were designed to do and I get close to God.
NEver married, no kids. I got tired of being lonely one year and went out and got myself a tree, a gift, and some food for a great meal. Nowadays if I am alone on any holiday I celebrate by myself. I am rarely alone on holidays and I find it a chore to be around toxic people.
Paul L. Rogers Same here! That's why I love animals!
I'm doing the same. Feels good 👍
I LIKE being alone. Talking to myself is usually the most intelligent and knowledgable conversation I can have.
this
ahahahahahaaa
With the people I know. Absolutely 💯%! There idiots!!
That's lovely
This.
How comforting to know that I’m not alone FEELING alone. Strange but comforting. Thank you Mel. I needed this more than you know.
Deborah Haley me too, merry Christmas love I'm here with you 😝
This year I had to cut out my family out of my life due to their toxicity.....it was a hard step to take but I knew its what I needed to do for me. So today on Thanksgiving Im feeling the void. Thank You for the reminder that I am not alone in feeling alone that helps...
Being alone is the ultimate! No narc abuse 😊 No walking on eggshells!
I had to sit in my car last night and cry. I'm sorry, I just had to. I woke up this morning and just wanted to stay in bed all day. I'm glad I saw this video so I feel a little less "alone".
Ashley Collins ...you might like Tony Robbins, Abraham Hicks, Walu Child, and Amber Khan...all on UA-cam. When I feel a downward teary spiral creeping, or even if I feel really fine, any of these people show me how life support works 😚🙂🙃🤘🎁🎄🌣🦄🔥💓⛆🌳💙💚💙
Ashley you don't have to be alone. Come spend Christmas with me.
It makes me feel better I’m not the only one who feels this way
@@MsBevis-ib7fe *spew*
Did you mean: everyday
Much appreciated. I lost my husband and child. Family lives very far. Been the loneliest times of my life. This advice reminds me I'm not alone and not to isolate myself. God Bless you 🙏 ❤️
I am sorry for your lost. I Wish you a lot of strength, Love and blessings!!!!❤❤❤❤
I have been alone at Christmas/New Year for years but I have my wonderful pets and now I'm used to it. These tips are great. 👍
Kitty Martin Just the same! My pets are my friends and family!
You're opening line, says exactly how I feel about those "blessed" people on social media.
I’ve been spending holidays alone since I was 18, I’m 25 now and living in a small town with no family or friends at all. So during holidays everything is closed and the only thing you’ll see out is families together doing holiday activities and for me seeing that just makes it worse.
I thought I was the only one, estrangement seems to be the common denominator
Ohhh I agree !!
I started to tip big batistas and give to those who make my life easier during the year. I also played an instrument at church and do community activities and it helps. Then the holiday is a day of rest. Even the mailmen/women appreciate a gift.
Me too! My kids hate me! I love them!
Same!!
@Mel: Another idea for those that are feeling lonely is to volunteer. Many towns & cities do a holiday dinner for those that are alone, elderly, shut-in or less fortunate. Our area does close to 900 dinners. That's both with deliveries or eating in and they could always use volunteers. Really enjoyed your video. Myself, I am not on any social media and I'm probably in the minority but that's O.K. I also haven't any T.V. and that's O.K. because the news is too depressing and there are now 4.5 minutes of commercials every 15 minutes. I have spent many holidays 'alone' but I am not lonely. Thank you for sharing.
1 For The People So do you know X-Mas Loneliness from First place? Cant believe that. As a lonely Person you dont have the Power to Volunteer, believe me. You are completely busy with keeping your own head above the Water.
I'm sorry this is your experience, but you have no right to criticize 1 for the People in this way - their way of dealing with loneliness may be completely different than yours. Instead of playing the, "I'm more lonely and depressed than you are" game, see if you can speak to a mental health professional or religious leader about counseling. Good luck to you and I hope you feel better soon.
My daughter and I have been celebrating the holidays alone for 7yrs because my mother was in another country. She's retired now and she even came with a plus one. She got married!!!! Hugs to all of you who feel lonely during the holidays..
3 years later and I found this video , I really want to start new traditions for my and amp up the self care . If possible buying myself a car for Christmas would be epic and enough for 🌬️💜 I m actually not stuck just something within me is nudging me to not travel home and try something new for myself outside traditional family gathering's.
Like many others out there, I too have memories of Christmas past. This is not my first Christmas alone but at least this year, I'm not homeless as well, as I once was during this time.
With that being said, too all of you that are either alone or struggling with the "Season" let me wish you a Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year 2018.
Thanks Mel.
You never forget your first Christmas alone!
omigosh SO GLAD you posted this Mel!!! My singing coach who has been an INTERNATIONALLY reknown opera singer confided in me that she spent last Christmas ALONE and sad. She is spending this year with us, spending Christmas eve night with us. I am so happy she told me so I could do something about it. If YOU are alone (not you Mel, someone listening, tell someone and yes, go do something!
First time I am alone in Taiwan after my divorce. Needed this advice. Thank you ❤️❤️
Same here
thanks Mel - it is my first holiday alone post divorce - kids going to their dads on Xmas day - but I've already decided to plan a special day for myself - going to the movies & to walk through some Holiday light shows since my (adult) kids are too cool to do something like that. So there was a couple days where I was upset but then I made a plan & now I am looking forward to it! Thank you Mel for all you do! And for that 2017/2018 goal planning download - I printed off one of each of my kids too! Viki
Good for you - enjoy the movies and take yourself out to a nice restaurant, too! Merry Christmas!
I’m sure your ex is better off now !
When this happens to me in future, I am ready with a plan: I am going to some European places with Christmas Markets. I love puttering around, even alone. Maybe pop into a pub and talk to people. Everyone is friendlier and love-y-er at Christmas time, don't be shy! Great vid, Mel!
Thanks Mel!!!. .... Lost my mom in June, she was the backbone for holiday traditions!!!
I was never really a christmassy person to begin with and then my dad passed away on Xmas day two years ago .He loved Xmas. The following year I could not bare the thought of Xmas day without him. So, we went on a cruise...best thing ever...no pressure..no commercialism..total stress relief. and I didn't have to hear the" awww your dad passed Xmas day, that's awful"
thanks Mel
You are the BEST Mel, thank you!! I am not exactly alone, I will be with my immediate family. But I feel alone because I am not married and don't have kids. So thank you thank you. Social media makes me compare SO much and we all know that comparison is the thief of joy.Happy Holidays Mel!!
Maria I know what you mean. I'm single and dired of questions about it. Hope things are better for you now... Best wishes!
Dammit...Mel...Please run for President....You nailed it...love it
Telly Swain not only president serves we all do 😂
Fight the urge to isolate....yes yes
Thanks a lot 😁...This is what I was looking for...now I realize it's just normal to feel lonely and I am gonna work on it especially on the social media factor.
To the author : I remember promising that I'd buy "all" of your books if my situation ever stabilized. Well, it's not "all" of them, but now that my situation finally started stabilizing, I went and bought one of your audiobooks today.
"get out of your house and do things." and then it's 2020. fuck.
Great insight. I'm used to being alone for the holidays but these tips will make it a lot easier.
Same...I pray this year is better for us🎄🎅💃🎅🎄
This year I’ve been distancing myself from all my friends, since they’re all married and they make me feel like I’m not enough all by myself, therefore I don’t get invited to certain things, cos I don’t have anyone by my side. They make me feel like something is wrong with me for not settling … Even tho I always plan things and host but I get left out for Xmas. so next year I plan on making single friends. As Mel said, the holiday season makes you reflect and it did majorly this year. I don’t feel lonely, but it’s sucks knowing that you don’t have real friendships anymore….
This is good advice for any time of the year.....because these feelings may be intensified at Christmas time, that doesn't mean that is the only time you feel alone or unloved. These steps will help on the normal day too and I'm going to apply them in my life. Thank you Mel
I booked an 18 day trip to Quebec City for Christmas and New Years!!! 😊
This was good advice. After many many years of experience doing the holidays alone (no family in the country) I love it. People invite me to their family gatherings but I never go because I don't want to be a spare wheel. And I feel obliged to be the perfect guest which always makes it uncomfortable. What I did the past couple of years was have a week of indulging in good food in mid Dec. Than I do a water fast to detox for about a week leading up to Christmas. Than the last week of December I hit the gym and and get out to places where it is not too busy. I do New Years eve celebrations (but don't over-do it on alcohol). Than when the new year starts I feel great.
Definitely don't do any social media during the holidays
Great advice for sure. . When my husband died I started taking trips on the holidays it was magic just such a blessing and no sadness
So important to take care of mental health during the holidays. It can be lonely during the holidays.
I'm typing this 11:48 New Years Night Aloooone. I love channels like this because it reminds you that other people get lonely too
Thank you Mel. I’ll be spending holiday alone.
Janet Tan this video sure does help us!
I personally would be cool just spending time with myself and never feel lonely but I guess it might be a different story for the coming holidays.
What she said is SO TRUE & relatable & wise. Planning my own new tradition
All this applies whenever I’m feeling down, which used to be all the time. I don’t know how I figured this out on my own, I’m just smarter than all the narcissists who were in my life think I am-and smarter than them as well, which explains their abuse-but this seemed the natural way to go once I understood I needed to get my head straight before I could make any further progress in life rather than being stuck in the mud or even backsliding.
I just spent my first Thanksgiving and Christmas estrange from my birth family, and I gotta tell you, it was pretty awesome. No painful phone conversations; no ridiculous travel just so I could be tortured continuously from all sides for two or three days; no obligation, no shame. I drank beer, watched Netflix, made awesome meals for myself, went cycling, played guitar, just all around me time.
I’m happy to hear this frank advice which resonates with what I discovered.
LMAO "I want you to get the f&ck off social media" I totally love her and I love this.
The idea that isolating is bad for self care is sooo wrong. Yes, many people love to be around others but there are VAST swaths of the population that need, want and actually crave alone time. There's absolutely NOTHING wrong with that and your suggestions are nice but seriously one-sided.
See.....I love video games! I have loved them my whole life and I'm a middle aged man. AND before you think "Oh basement virgin" think again. Nothing could be further from the truth.
BUT I'm always around other people so isolating and playing video games is my therapy. It's insanely fun and helps me regulate moods, emotions and all that. I love it and I absolutely LOVE playing video games around the holidays. In fact when everyone else is out of town for holidays, it's my favorite time.
Not everyone needs nor wants more connection with other people and getting out and about can be more stressful than simply staying home and isolating. It's actually self-care for many people.
It's seems odd that you don't know that and didn't address it.
Mel, thank you. Oh wow! This is exactly what I needed to hear🙂. It's my first holidays alone, single and child gone for the holidays😏, this message has given me a push to enjoy my own company and keep busy😉 during the holidays 🎄. Thanks once more👌🏽.
She's right. What a great woman
Mel I love, love , LOVE this!!! I lost my parents and siblings over the last 9 years and it’s been TOUGH! Thanks for the kick in the a$$ I needed to start fresh.
MEL, MEL, MY BEAUTIFUL MEL, I GOT YOUR BOOK AS MY GIFT, I HAD ASKED FOR IT!!!!!! And I am beyond happy to finally read it!!!! I’ve been watched nag every single one of your videos, now I’m so excited for your book!!!!! Thank you Mel, I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!💕❤️😘
You're amazing Mel! Great advice. Sometimes we can feel lonely and isolated with our people around us too....
I love you, Mel. Thanks for uplifting people with your one and a million ways. Happy holidays!
Started life alone, and sliding into the home stretch alone again. Been "blessed" enough already.
I can completely relate to this. I have no family or friends to spend time with, so I'm doing volunteer work on Christmas evening. Thanks for the video Mel!
Amp up the self care is the best antidote to self pity and loneliness and I don't mean self pity in a mean way because I'm alone myself and have to guard against feeling sorry for myself. At least I'm not in jail or in the hospital or a funeral home is what I tell myself. This too shall pass !!!
Omg you're so right some people in prison
But we are complaining that we are alone for 24-hours on Christmas
I got busy around the holidays doing a chest catscan to rule out lung cancer and seeing the cardiologist.
Further testing required, nothing available until late February and early March
I bought a pine scented candle, a wreath, a flower arrangement with Lillie's,a cinnamon broom and eucalyptus..it smells heavenly
I got a turkey with all the trimmings, peanut butter cookies and cannolis
I'm all set to cook, listen to Christmas music and watch holiday movies
Woo who, go me!
Great tips Mel! I was the one crying in the corners because I was away from my family, my friends didn't invite me to their parties, etc. This year I decided to contact a friend of mine and asked her what she was doing, and now I have plans. My thoughts were: "she is probably staying home with her husband, or she has a party with friends.." I was already creating excuses...so, I did 54321 and told her I didn't want to spend NYE alone... I believe it is a choice, which way should I go? Mel Robbins: You are a rockstart and thanks again for being you.
It’s not the first time I spend the holidays alone and probably won’t be the last but for some reason each year it seems to get worse.
Excellent video. People really tend to get caught up in themselves and it brews for weeks going into the holidays. I tell people to volunteer at an animal shelter or food bank. It is amazing how giving comes back to you 10 fold
I'm afraid in a covid world, there isn't much of this advice that works now. But I do appreciate this great advice though. Deleted social media years ago. Looks like I'm isolating for Christmas. Merry Christmas everyone.
Merry Christmas from another totally alone Christmas party!
Ben and Jerry in bed all day playing online games watching a movie or binge watch a tv show. Is far more comfortable and feel happier than family and friends that are opinionated and ask what your going to do with your life with that degree in mathematical Physics.
Comfortable New Year and Christmas
EVERYONE.
Hello. Mel!!! Yes this is very helpful and great advice thank you for your share!!
I love this! Thank you for being so damn straight foward it's really helpful and awesome advice!
I needed this today!! Thank you thank you!
Same
This is the first time spending christmas alone in another country. I never want to do this again 😅 Thank you for this video, it has helped me get through this time easier
New Tradition for myself!!!
Thanks Mel! Your advise is always helpful!
I would add: do something for others - nothing feels better than helping someone else. Be a secret Santa, serve a meal at a shelter, take flowers to a nursing home and visit with those there, deliver a meal to a senior and take the time to sit and talk with them, the list is endless.
Thank you Mel.
This info will help me because on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, I will be alone.
I live my whole life alone. I work from home, no family or friends in my state.
I understand that you're never alone
very good advice 😘 thanks... Same thing happens to St. Valentines day... the media makes it seems like if you are not in a relationship you are a loner... forever alone ... then you see on instagram, fb... etc... all this bunch of "superhappy couples" and stuff... Thanks Mel... you are awesome
Tahirih Achiaa do what I have always done for Valentine's Day - do a secret appreciation card, gift or effort for someone you know or someone random and never tell anyone about it! I've done it for years and it fills me with more cheer than I've ever had in receiving something 💟
I am so glad you touched on this. I'm finding loneliness can be overwhelming and actually cause mild depression to become worse. Since there is a major Hoilday almost every month these are wonderful tip for most of the year. I also think you are spot on right about social media!!! I think more needs to be said about how unhealthy social media is for us physiologically and emotionally. I never made the correlation with my spike in depression and usage of Facebook until I heard your TedTalk and checked out your personal sight. Very recently mind you. I feel like Facebook is just everyone one waving and saying ..... hey HEY IM HAVING A FUN FABOULOUS LIFE what do you got???...... ( every statment and picture) is COMPARED/JUDGED and those are not the best measurement of who and how life is going. Anyway Just my thoughts
Thank You and God Bless
Constance D
I love this woman! Wish I learned about her years ago.
LOve the straight-talking! Thanks
This is such a big truth, thank you for the honest straight advice
thank you i needed to hear this now.
Tougher times during the holidays, here too, sending you hugs if needed 🤗
Absolutely BEAUTIFULLY SAID!🤞🙏🥰
Just what I needed to hear, thanks!
It just magnifies your aloness when yuu see families together out enjoying activities or at church and you are alone..! So no. Not always a good idea. 😔🙏🤔.
I love this! At the beginning of the video I thought maybe this wouldn't apply to me because I generally don't feel lonely around the holidays BUT I do feel lonely in my business sometimes and can play the isolation game! We can apply these principles in other areas of life anytime of the year, thanks for the great tips!
My anxiety makes its hard to go out so all i know is to isolate. Today was hard to get up but my toddler reminds me she loves me
Thanks for this, Mel. Needed to hear this before my first Xmas alone. Hugs from CA.
Thanks, my friend, Mel
I can’t deal without my kids! They hate me! I love them!
Thankyou. So refreshing
Thanks to you. .more power
Very rightly said Mel
Starting new tradition, and thank you for these good ideas. Yes, stay off social media. Face book, I don’t even like face book anymore. Glad I broke that bad habit.
I lost my immediate family, i could have spent xmas with my roommates family, but i decided to ask my neighbor who has been very helpful to me this year and we also hung out and just chewed the fat . I think he appreciates someone that will listen. He is an elderly gentleman, so he needs a hand in certain tasks, and I don't mind helping now and again. Then last night got a call from my aunt inviting me out to her place with a ride that will pick me up. I could have spent it alone and i would have been just fine, im not really religious, but i just go hang out have some good food and such.
Thank you thank you thank you
Very good advice! Thank you!
This is all great ideas. Thank You
Never in my entire life never thought I’m gonna be spending Christmas without my family,friends,beloved ones...since I’ve emigrated to another country I wasn’t spending Christmas with my family for 13 years but I always had friends then my partner so really hasn’t had to really worry..But now I’m single without my partner,just me and my son and can’t go to visit family finally this year for Christmas also I’ve realised I have no real friends..my best one decided not to come so I wouldn’t feel alone during this time I’m so disappointed and hurt ...She prefers her narcissistic husband to spend with...but at least I have my son...Christmas was always happy time for me when I was younger and especially when been living in my country but not now ...nothing nice to be happy about no more ...😔
Great video Mel!! Thanks for sharing😍👍
Merry Christmas,Mel! Thanks for this video 🎄❤️🎁
Omg, the best video from you!!! Love u and you are so awesome. So true on every single point 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Thank you for this 😌 I also feel like listening, watching, reading, and seeing romantic Christmas stuff too also is a key thing to limit myself, similar to the social media concept
I hope this works during covid 🤞 Ty!
Thanks a lot Mel. Wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Love you. 💖😊🍫
I'm completely alone as a human being but I'm with my golden retriever so I'm not alone LOL and there's ways to enjoy yourself so many ways go on a walk go and walk in the rain with your puppy cook a meal watch a great movie have a glass of wine or a bottle of wine but not if you're an alcoholic just for fun you can drink the bottle while you eat knowing that you're not an alcoholic everything is a matter of perspective and the way that we think. Happy New Year 2023 to all of you who are feeling alone or lonely and may God bless you with tons of wonderful Joy peace abundance comfort and great health
This is my 38th Christmas single so I’m used to it.
Thank you
Watching this in 2020😭
Yep. Alone here once again. But I'll work out, go to church, but it's not easy. I want to share this on Facebook... lol...
Haha....you're the best! I can so relate to you and your viewpoints probably because I'm a Bostonian. Happy holidays.
You are the best Mel! Great and timely videos..THANK YOU!
Mel I FREAKIN LOVE U❤️❤️❤️😘 this video was just what I needed THANKS!!!
MEL you speak the truth!!! I love you, your awsome, so inspiring 💗