IF YOU'RE ALONE FOR THE HOLIDAYS | Life Lessons
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- Опубліковано 12 вер 2024
- Are you facing the holidays alone? This video provides some tips on DOs and DON'Ts for getting through the holidays solo.
Hi, I'm Allison and welcome to my Elder Gal channel! I have a master's degree in counseling psychology and worked for a number of years as a bereavement counselor.
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Make a list of the things you're grateful for, a home, breath, food in your stomach, the ability to walk....
Christmas has often been a struggle because it is SO big in the culture. It is important to spend the time doing what we really want! Thanks for this video!
Thanks for your insightful comment Simply Zen! The pressures of our respective cultures can really affect us.😊💜
As a child growing up in the UK, Christmas was very traditional. Years later I do not subscribe to Christian beliefs for a variety of reasons. I celebrate with my daughter and grand-daughter. Usually, Christmas Day, is spent alone, because my daughter and family are with her in-laws. So, I don't make a big deal out of it. Just another day, go for a drive, enjoy nature, or whatever. The past is the past, live in the moment, and be content with it.
Yes, living in the moment is key, sjordan! Thanks for your comment!
I'm a guy who enjoys sports. On Christmas, there's lots of good games to watch on TV and the holiday comes and goes fast.
Holidays are challenging since my husband passed a yr ago. Am 70 and unable to travel except close in. The hardest part is my 3 grown children live their own lives and so I don't get to see my 3 grandchildren who live 2 hrs away. I mail gifts every bday and Christmas and never get a thank you. I don't understand but hope it gets easier. Thinking about helping deserving family this Christmas. Kids deserted when stepdad had cancer then dementia. One son will come around when he needs $. Coming into focus. Finally. There's hope.
Thanks for sharing this, Aletta! Sorry you don't see your family much. Take care!
I think it has to do with being an only child. When somebody says “family" I don't want to hear about it. I'm like a cat that doesn't want to be picked up.
I hear you on that Joseph!
I have spent many holidays alone, Christmas, New Years, Birthday, Thanksgiving.... at first people suggested I go do things like Volunteer, sometimes this can be good but what I find works best for me, is to think about the day ahead of time, ask myself what do I want? What would be the most kind and loving way for me to send that day? Is there a meal I want that goes along with it? Then maybe I will buy that meal ahead of time. But usually I find it's best to mostly look at it like another day... Do what few little things seem like they will be helpful, but just "let it go" in some ways... Sometimes I will get myself some special take out food. If I feel like it, maybe get some flowers.... If it is my birthday maybe i want to go to the bakery and get myself a piece of carrot cake : )
Thanks for sharing this Sheila! Anything that helps you get through the challenging days is great! Everyone needs to find what works for them. Take care!
Helpful advice. Holidays are hard, even for people with family around. Thanx
Thanks for your comment Barbara! Yes, holidays are a challenge!😊💜
THANK YOU for having a realistic list of how to deal with holidays alone....I see too many videos, webpages, social media saying: Go out and do all the traditional holiday events, don't isolate and spend it with a friend's family gathering, ect.🤦♀️🤦♀️ I hear you the Don't List. The one that was the worst for me was the: Go to friend's family gathering. For me each time it was just like you said and two of the people that invited me it was worse: when they had dinner I was stuck at the snacks table with the other person with no family sat...we didn't know each other and they didn't talk, the other was..I was stuck at the kids table just thrown into the job of babysitting while the adults ate.🤦♀️🤦♀️ Each year I try to make new traditions and I felt worse, this year I'm trying something new: It's all about SELF CARE. What recharges me: walking on nature trails, playing my hand drums, and extra snuggle and play time with my cat.😁❤️😺
Appreciate your comment so much Muze Rhythm and that you have shared your personal experience. Glad you found what works for you at the holidays! Thanks again for your input!😊🎄💜
This year I am planning to volunteer all day on Thanksgiving day, and for Christmas and New Year's I have a fabulous solo vacation planned. I often get invites to other church families homes, but that is just weird and reminds me of what I lack in my life that I wish I had. So this year, I will be gone!
Sounds iike a good plan dayhikr!
I love your honest wisdom. The things you're saying are spot on👍
Thanks so much EsotericOccultist, appreciate your comment so much!😊💜
I work from home for a hospital and I always choose to work Christmas. I’m not alone, although this year will probably just be my husband and I, but I prefer to stay home on Christmas and this gives me an excuse. Also it frees up my coworkers to enjoy being with their family.
There is too much fuss made about Christmas. Just keep it simple. I spend my time doing Christmas crafts. I found a Gnome pattern last year and made Christmas Gnomes and a Christmas Tree. I made a Gnome Village. It was fantastic!
Sounds great! Thanks for sharing!
My friend's family I've met briefly about 3 times invited me last Christmas and although it meant a lot to me something told me not to
Watching your vid it looks like I dodged a bullet
It's one of those scenarios that looked like SUCH a good idea beforehand but in the middle of it you're like "what am I DOING here??" And I would have had to STAY THE NIGHT as here in London public transport stops on Christmas Eve !!
Christmas last year was horrible
Nothing from my 4 siblings one of them messaged Merry Christmas on WhatsApp on Christmas day (??) (!!)
But I did think after it was thankfully all over thank GOD I didn't go to that family 😞
Easter, Passover, Ramadan everyone who's not interested can opt out and totally ignore it
Why is Christmas such an unavoidable drag for everyone right in the middle of winter when you're probably already finding life a bit depressing
It needs to be reduced down to the same scale as Easter
It took me a while to find my *new* way to celebrate Christmas. IT USED TO BE ABOUT PEOPLE. But those people are all dead now.
I make sure to focus on the Birth of Jesus now. I REALLY WANT THAT TO BE THE WHOLE FOCUS OF CHRISTMAS NOW. PRAISE BE TO GOD FOR THE GIFT OF SALVATION. All I care about now is to get to heaven someday.
Wow. The 1951 version of a Christmas carol is my favorite too.
I've been a widow for 6 years now and everything you described I went through from the Christmases with the presents opened in front of me to feeling unwanted in a room full of people even though they were trying to to Show Me Love. Now I actually take the time to go to Palm Springs and spend time at the museums and by the pool and shopping and it's so much fun and it's very inexpensive around Thanksgiving thank God😊 may we all have wonderful and fun holidays this year!
Thanks for sharing this Debbi! That sounds like a great holiday plan and a great place to be during that time of year! Best wishes to you!
Allison you fabulous gal you! Thanks for being you. It is hard to find - not just like minded but - like celestial being humans like you and me. Thanks for your heartfelt advise. If (or when) I have to find a celebration I suggest a celebration around military families. Having joined a christmas party at the former military housing reservation I was visiting I realized how inclusive it was. Cheers to you.
Thanks for your kind words Paul! Appreciate your comment so much!
What a helpful video. Comes at the right time too. I was dreading being alone this July 4th. I'm glad I found you. Your advice is sound, comes from experience and the heart, as well as education. Resonates with me at a time when it is needed. Thanks again for your wisdom and generous sharing.
Glad it helps Susan! Thanks for watching!
I DON' T LIKE CHRISTMAS BUT WHAT I CAN'T STAND ARE THE PEOPLE CLOSE TO YOU WHO IMPOSE IT ON YOU,HERE IN SPAIN THE FESTIVITIES END ON THE 7 TH JANUARY AND THAT DAY I AM VERY HAPPY🤣🤣🤣😂
Thanks for your comment Maria Luisa. I'm sure many people feel like this about a holiday being imposed on them when they just want it to be over! 😊💜
My closest friend (since 1974) invites me, but I don't like being around her children and their families. So I take a pass.
Allison is 100% right about everything when it comes to being alone for the holidays. First of all holidays are only one or two days out of the whole year and then everyone has to go back to there normal lives of going back to work or school. Those photos that you take with your family and friends is not an everyday event that your going to spend time with each other. As we get older, everyone changes, your family or your friends are not gonna be in your life forever. People are going to move far away, some people are even going to pass away. That’s just the way life is. If you feel so alone, then spend your time in church, what I mean by that is, I’m not talking about you praying to God or joining a religion, what I’m saying is just to be around people that make you feel happy and safe it will give you a chance to talk to someone. Then when you’re done with that, go to a nice restaurant and eat something great. After that buy yourself your own present and you will feel very happier in your life.
Thanks Anthony! I know what you mean!
I use holidays now to relax and decompress
I like to do that too Angela!
Go to church. The music is beautiful and we know there are many less fortunate. A movie is a nice thought. For me I go to mass on Christmas Eve and then on Christmas I enjoy peace and quiet. Take a walk and eat something good. Send out some e-cards and do as I please. This year I am planning a small tree and pulling out just the special ornaments which is helping me to downsize. There are always triggers either internal or external but I am lucky that I manage. What I liked is when you said we remember good holidays and now we create new. Take care 🙏🇺🇸💙🦋🌺
Thanks for sharing Donna! All good ideas!
@@eldergal I tell my friends when the ideas don't work then reach out to others. Even just a text can help. Or commenting to a you tube! I think we learn to identify and handle what we can. I guess this is part of learning to say no. Most of us want to please so we say yes to things that we don't want to do. I find I give a smile or a little chat to those who are out shopping etc because you don't know if someone is in a bad place and a little friendliness can help. Life is just not as kind as it used to be so we are all isolating ourselves. This was one of your best topics and I totally agree that going to someone's home is awful...a quick visit is best. Take care
YES on eat chocolate, especially chocolate cherry cordial! When I have one of those my troubles just melt away for awhile🙂
Sounds good Sammie, thanks for the comment!😊💜
It's just another day.
I retired from the county jail. I said this every holiday to my inmates. I also said it for myself when I had to work those holidays. It IS just another day
@@SilverDramaQueen1 Right. Most people are so brainwashed by their culture to put too much emotions into what is just another ordinary day.
Para mí no suponen un problema, no soy cristiana, sólo celebro el equinoccio de invierno. Nunca me ha importado vivir al margen de las convenciones sociales, vivo a mi manera y no le rindo cuantas a nadie. Tengo 60 y cada vez estoy más a gusto conmigo misma.
Thank you for your honesty. Ive been in a few situations you mention. Hershey Kisses are great ! Its not been an easy year. Thanks for your video.
Thanks so much for your comment Sharon! No it has not been an easy year! At least there are Hershey kisses!!😊🎁🎄
Great advice friend. Have a happy Thanksgiving.
Thanks so much for your comment and Happy Thanksgiving back to you!!😊💜
Good advice. 😄
Thanks so much Ashanna!!😊💜
@@eldergal Welcome. 😇
Hi Allison. Thanks for making me chuckle. The end of your video was very comical. If it wasn't true it wouldn't be funny. Sometimes I have found that a strawberry PopTart and an ice cold glass of milk can work wonders for anxiety and stress too. But I don't recommend making it a habit. Merry Christmas, Allison. Take care.
Thanks John!
@@eldergalYou're welcome.
To your last comment…no family 😂arguments and also no money wasted on presents that nobody really wants!
Thank you!🙄🙃
Thanks for your comment kinda like u!!😊
I NEVER get Invited to anyone’s house for any holiday.
I am in same dilemma, I may start doing something quite differently, the nursing homes and other places that maybe I can do some things that may add to others alone,it may be making xmas better for those that don't have family members or I have lost ones that we were close to one another but they are not estranged but past away,I was thankful for over 20 years I had a close friend,with a huge family and I went Thanksgiving and Christmas we all had so much fun,we played an exchange game with gifts at xmas,so that was wonderful,I have been alone a long time so maybe make a recipe that sounds fun,I think for me focus on what Christmas is supposed to be,not so commercial but focus on Jesus Yeshua and again do something even small for the needy,I have found focusing on my self too much or not realistic about the family situation,it is what it is ,for myself my son thinks as an adult{ into his 40's} that being verbally abusive is not acceptable and maybe I am better not being around this anymore,this is just for me ,I have done all I can do and I think perhaps it's better to not have them around me. I think a pet is a blessing
Thanks for sharing this Elizabeth! It's good to get out of our own thoughts sometimes. Take care!
How to politely decline such invitations? I would rather stay home, but friends are always inviting...
It's not easy, but I would make an excuse not to go. Thanks for your comment!
I relate to all your videos and appreciate your tips. But the music detracts 😢
Thanks, that's why I stopped using music after the first several months.
Lazy Christmas I did..
by the way I like your plant.
Thanks Paul - it's much bigger and thriving! I'll have to show it in a newer video. Appreciate you watching!
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