Please leave her.She deserves someone who is actually attracted to her both physically and mentally.And absolutely does not deserve someone who regrets for having her and does not consider her beautiful.
Looks are non-negotiable. Anyone can fake a personality. I dated an ugly girl because I thought she was wifey material, she was actually BPD and great at acting. She took nearly everything from me.
@@BD-1-And-Only Joke's on you for dating someone you did not even find beautiful lol. Looks do not correlate with personality unless there is plastic surgery involved (dark triad women get more plastic surgery and do other things to change their appearence)
Yeah for sure. I was in this situation 5.5 years ago. I decided to end things. I am single 5.5 years later and she found someone that could love and cherish her in a way that I don't think I could. Despite still being single, I have no regret. I know I made the decision that allowed her to find more happiness than I could have given her. I have hope that I will still find someone that can give me what I need as well.
@Ahmedd12 Good shii mane looks matter but they are everything and are certainly not the deciding factor on if a long-term relationship will work or not.
In my experience, all the girls I've dated who are like 8 or 9 for personality are also 5 or 6 for appearance. And the more I grow with them and learn to love them the more it actually affects my physical attraction towards them. I had a date with one of those girls on the same day I had a date with an 8/10 lookswise girl and the less good looking girl would later become my girlfriend of many months. That relationship didn't work out, but I recently went on a date with another 5/10 appearance and 9/10 personality and I honestly can't wait to see her again.
This has happened to me as well. She wasn’t that good looking but I started to get attracted to her more and more as we grow together. Her appearance started to either to look better in my eyes or I didn’t just care as much before. I’m dating someone who’s like that and currently experiencing the same thing again, and I think it’s beautiful
If you don't think shes pretty, don't be with her. She might be sad, she might cry and feel heartbroken, but being heartbroken for 1 week or 1 month is better than marrying a man your in love with only for him to divorce you a year later or cheat on you with a girl he does find "attractive". Please do yourself a service and her, don't be with her. You clearly aren't into her. That's fine. Not everyone is into everything. There is a guy who will find her beautiful, its just not you and that is A okay.
honestly this video is good to watch regardless of who you’re thinking about dating, any woman your interested in or have something special with could be brought to mind and evaluated while this video is played.
Yeah and also when he said the thing about rather being with a woman you feel masculine with, instead of insecure is really important. Never thought about it in this way
Looks are non-negotiable. Anyone can fake a personality. I dated an ugly girl because I thought she was wifey material, she was actually BPD and great at acting. She took nearly everything from me.
@@BD-1-And-Only just cause someone can fake a personality doesnt mean they will. And no one can fake a personality for so long. Mostly sociopaths and psychopaths fake personalities, not normal people.
A good personality and good looks aren’t mutually exclusive. Idk why people think you have to pick between the two. There are plenty of people who are physically beautifully and also have a great personality and there are people who aren’t that physically attractive and have a horrible personality. And the whole “looks will fade” rhetoric is irrelevant. Just because we age and may become less attractive over time doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter now or in the near future.
So when does it stop to matter? When you are more mature? Why not be more mature now? Or you will tell yourself I am ''ugly'' and old too so we are a good match. Wouldn't it be better to try basing your attraction on other things from the start and cherish yourself and others fully? Of course, never get in a relationship with someone you don't find attractive. But thinking that the looks of the other person is why you are not attracted is foolish. It's because of your own perspective and bias. And you can absolutely work towards changing how you see and feel towards things and develop a deep attraction based on grander things. If you want of course. If you are happy with the status quo and the elite deciding what is attractive and what is not for you, with things as stupid as colorism or taller=more attractive, then go on. If what you want is a vain life and you are attached to your superficial values, why change. Maybe, that's the only way for you and other people like you to find some kind of happiness and contentment in life, I can't judge that.
It's true though. So if your wife gets in an accident and her face gets affected and she stops being physically attractive, you will now divorce her because of something she can't control? What if you get suddenly disabled and can't walk, so now your girlfriend or wife whatever leaves you because you're not as tall anymore and stop being as attractive. Is this really the type of love you want, and the type of love you're giving to someone else?
There are not plenty of ppl available to the average male. A beautiful girl with a good personality goes to the 1% of top tier men. Remember, women don't want to date down either. A lot of these comments are from below average men who have forgotten this. Plus, there are a lot more men willing to settle than women.
@@vic419-mv5efhave you ever been to college? The women who spread their legs the most are usually 4/10 blue hairs, quirky, but not quite unpopular. If anything the traditional farm girls, immigrants, small town conservative stereotype of women who don't date much are more physically attractive than the feminists.
I think this is a common problem: Many of the most attractive women don't have the need to build their personality because their looks get them anywhere in life for free. The women with the best traits are mostly average looking, I'd go for an average good personality women over the good looking one every time. But I mean average, not ugly. Still: If you don't find her attractive, don't even try. Just imagine this: *Her looks will also influence how your kids are going to look like. *
i keep seeing attractive men being with women lot less attractive than them. id do it too if not too ugly, a good face will make up for not beigng segssually useful. but dont spread bad genes, judge genes by their biological family not just what genes are showing up in the person.potential in being good in looks, intellegence, muscle, pretty much everything biological, is limited by genes. breast feeding as much as bbay will drink is also esssential. surrogacy maybe a way. dysgenic microchimerism
@@NonameSpaminboxHUH I'd imagine that 2 "average" people could still make a 10/10. If there's anything I know about genetics there's always a chance for a mutation based. Example I have brown eyes, but have the trait for green stored in my DNA.
Break up with her immediately. She deserves better than you. You are calling her "ugly". This is extremely unkind and hurtful. If she knew that you thought she was ugly, she would dump you right away and find someone who actually likes her. The next guy will. Please walk away now and give the next guy the chance with her that he is waiting for. Stop standing in the way of another guys happiness by selfishly clinging on to a woman that you think is ugly. Because the only person in this scenario that is ugly is you.
Imo you're allowed to choose how the woman you want looks, but you can't be disappointed if a good-looking woman thinks you're ugly and rejects you if that happens
Exactly. Those are average assmen who think deserve Stacies and gigastacies. They are delusional. That's why those women stomp the floor with them and their "feelings _
You need to feel attracted to her. Just make sure you're not using explicit stuff or models as your reference point. But if you really don't feel attracted to her, then it's not worth it. Certainly if you feel any type of negative attraction then it's not really worth pursuing. If it's just neutral and maybe slightly positive then I think it could still be worth it since love grows over time. But purely neutral probably isn't good.
My wife is imo a 9.5 because she's very petite and cute. But the average man in the West who likes 6ft models or whatever would probably rate her only a 7, Asians would rate her a 10. This is obviously the ideal situation to be in.
@@AsAWhiteManMarriedToALatina Dude none of this is even relevant. Beauty is slightly subjective and we all know that already. But looks are non-negotiable. Anyone who tells you personality is more important is just coping for the fact they get zero women. They’re BOTH important.
@@BD-1-And-Only how is it not relevant? Beauty is *significantly* subjective, at least 50%, as I've just proven. If a girl is a 9.5 in your eyes but 7 in others, she will probably have a more humble and down to Earth personality. That's the point apparently you missed.
Yeah if you don’t find her physically attractive , let it go. You’ll convince yourself overtime but you’ll double back time to time questioning her beauty.
reason number one: you guys have spent so much time on social media and you got used to beautiful women, therefore you should leave her for another man that values personal traits more, please don't ruin her future
In my opinion, if the woman doesn’t turn you on, you shouldn’t consider be with her. Like, how would you praise her, she’ll feel your lack of desire anyway and we all know how important it is to a woman felling desirable and if you don’t deliver it to her, she’ll probably be looking for it in other man, who is really attracted to her. And also considering in a long term relationship you’ll probably feel a bit sorry for choosing a woman who doesn’t turn you on. I can’t figure how would you ravish her in love not feeling real attraction to her. Its just MY opinion! Hope you find the best way to deal with your situation.
everybody deserves to be loved mentally and physically., idk about the guy or the girl but from my place ,I want a guy to love me fully and if he can't ill exuse him (cuz it's not something u can control)but I cant keep with him !and that works for men and women both.
Well judging only based on your photograph, you look physically attractive for me. Now let me tell you a story There was one girl who I was considering dating, she had wife qualities, the lifestyle, the intellect, the worldview, the personality. However she was not physically attractive for me. It was a hard decision for me, dating a girl for whom I had no physical attraction. I solved the paradox in my head, by thinking that I need to be physically attracted to a girl, to a wife, or else I could lose interest. What you said about everybody deserves to be loved mentally and physically. That is factor what is needed in a harmonious marriage. So if I am not physically attracted to a girl, then it the component of physical love would not be present in such a relationship. The relationship would fall apart. I would not want to lose interest, I do not want to cheat or look at other girls on the internet, I do not want to break her heart by admitting that I have no physical attraction for her after she has fallen in love with me. There is a song by Michael Jackson, "don't go about breaking young girl's hearts, be careful who you love". So it would not be wise to get into a relationship only to not have any physical attraction at all, because then there would be a temptation to cheat. And I consider that as a grave sin. If I would find a girl who is physically attractive for me, then I would never cheat. It would be hell living with a woman without any physical attraction for her, and having physical attraction for other women instead. Sooner or later that leads to unethical thoughts or actions. So physical attraction or lack thereof should be one of the first questions to get off the table.
@@noweebatall5520 I watch Hamza for over 2 years now honestly some of his mentality, and the conversation women about is vital for us to understand guys a bit better. For example, I am a traditional women in some sense and not in some sense, therefore his channel allows me to adapt!
I'm literally living this as I write. She is intelligent, interested in me, has a good relationship with her family and work, has a good social life and is highly desired by other dudes. But I kinda find her "not attractive enough". It just sounds so stupid reading it out loud, and I think Hamza was on point talking about how we take other people's standards and let them lead or lives, even is such a seemless way. This modern world of ours can really fuck our brains up, but thankfully Hamza is here to make is think properly.
If you want to marry and spend your live with your future wife. She will become old and wrinkly. Then the attractiviness doesnt matter. So in the long run personality is more important.
How to change her: better style, gym for better body, better diet, gym for better body, low body fat percentage, fix her teeth, orthodontics treatment, skin care routine. Minoxidil for better eyebrows, a lil bit of make up if she needs it, DONE!!!!
Listening to what the other guys comment, I'm hearing a lot of things that would make guys complaint when women would say the exact same things in the reverse situation. "This sounds like a woman that would be a great friend for when you're single" "Don't settle", etc So many guys would get furious when they'd hear women talk this way about men Edit: the comments about not using the girl or leading her on are very honorable
bro i had almost the same thing happen: she was pretty enough (not necessary my type but doable), she had wife qualities, but she was so stupid that i couldn’t have a conversation with her that i didn’t have to dumb down for her and i couldn’t bring her in public because it was genuinely embarrassing. ended up breaking up with her after 2 months bc i took away the s3x to see if that was the only thing keeping me with her and it was
When you can‘t even have a deep and meaningful conversation with a girl, for me this is also a big turn off. You made a good decision there brother! Doing a s3x fast always shows if the girl is suitable for more then that. Take care 💪🏼
I think if you’re still at a point where you’re describing a woman you were with (you chose to be with her) as “so stupid” you still have work on yourself to do. I understand your point but Jesus you sound like a dick not gonna lie.
You'd be surprised how less physical attraction plays a factor in the older years, a partner who is interesting, can hold a conversation, has genuine hobbies and interests will get you through a lot more nights than just one who is attractive. Now don't get me wrong, there are women who check all the boxes---but's there are certain women who may not be a 8 or 10 but will 100% align with you and your values, those women will make the years fly by in enjoyment.
When you get older your sex drive drops (usually) and personality and companionship become more important. Though one could argue the relationship has become more of a deep friendship at that point.
Yeah I feel like young guys today don’t really think about what their relationship would look like in 10 or 20 years time. By then physical attraction is the least thing you need to worry about.
Dated a total bombshell-10 out of 10 but a nutcase-over a 7 who was totally down for me, ride or die. Cut 5 years later and the bombshell and I finally break up after a train wreck relationship and the 7 is long gone, happy, about to be married. Sometimes I find myself missing that sweet and gentle 7, remembering her red hair and freckles, her blue eyes and kindness. I still remember the night I left her behind for the bombshell, the pain of seeing her cry and trying to console her. It broke my heart but I thought I was in love with that 10 even though all the warning signs were there. Choose wisely, fellas.
I don't know anything about the 10 scale. Is she a 10 or is the a 7, it's hard to tell. I would just ask a simple question, is that girl physically attractive for me or not? Is the "my type"? So it's a very clear yes or no question. Other than that these are actually arbitrary numbers.
The problem is that there are too many options these days for both guys and girls. As a Muslim we are educated to prioritise compatibility and the other individual's personal qualities, e.g whether they are good mannered, pray daily, dress modestly - all in which demonstrate commitment. When considering marriage you should ask yourself 'Would we be compatible?' And also add some logic - look inwards at your own situation - Are you attractive enough to get a guy/girl better than her? Do you think you ever will? Do their personal characteristics outshine their physical appearance? Of course you don't want to marry someone that looks like an ogre but let's be real - no one is going to look like an Instagram model AND have a highly shining personality unless you're in heaven. If you're looking for a human my friend, sacrifices will need to be made. What I don't like about the self improvement community is that they put way too much emphasis on almost trying to be 'perfect,' as well as finding the 'perfect' other. It's fine to have slip ups now and then, although you shouldn't aim for it, so long as you're consistent in a few things and able to withhold logic you'll be fine. Also romanticising life will only lead to your misery.
Exactly correct brother, people fail to understand that when the time comes when the external facade or looks fade away the only thing that keeps the relationship going is the real.connection you have with the person
A good personality and good looks aren’t mutually exclusive. Idk why people think you have to pick between the two. There are plenty of people who are physically beautifully and also have a great personality and there are people who aren’t that physically attractive and have a horrible personality.
@AzureWolf168 Exactly - I wish more people knew this. During the Prophet's time (may peace be upon them all) the sole purpose of having multiple wives was to take care of them all by providing financially and in other provisional ways, especially as there were fewer men. A lot of what we see on the media today depict young muslim men flaunting how they can 'sleep' with all these women and describe it in such a disgusting way. I don't think the prophets would have taken a likening upon this behaviour as it is totally different to why they married multiple women. I do encourage others to look into religion, as well as other topics before making statements.
This is one of the crucial lesson i learned from my first relationship.Dont be with that person because fundamentally you dont accept them, every argument and fight can be beared if they are beautiful(dominant male instinct). Men thrive for beauty.Publicly you dont want to be intimate with her or even be around that person because it leads to shame and denial.Physcologically ,you start to become aggressive and toxic towards them and the other person would think that its their fault othey have done something wrong. It is one of the biggest mistakes i ever made , you wont be able to love her to the fullest. Also they easily sense it if you dont like them.
How do you get out of this situation without completely ruining her? Because she loves me so much and I can’t love her back with the same intensity she deserves and gives me but i don’t know what to say without completely ruining her mental and I don’t want to do that to her even if I don’t love her like she does me 😢
@@sonymicroninI'm in a similar situation but never tell her it's because of her looks. Just say you don't feel the same spark she does. You don't need to ruin her self confidence in the process of breaking up.
I know I'm a woman I'm 30 I don't know how old you are but my opinion is you shouldn't go with a girl you have no chemistry with, if you have no sexual compatibility etc these are very important Imagine if you marry her and then you start resenting her and looking at other women wishing you could be with them... it's not fair to her...
This is why I gotta looksmaxx before trying to date 💀 I don't want my future bf thinking I'm a 5 or 6 and saying "oh it's ok cuz she's got a good personality"..nooo way lmao
Why not? Do you want him to value you for who you are or for how you look? If you have to looksmaxx for him to like you, what happens when you grow older and become less attractive? Are you okay with him leaving you then?
@sirf-fuzzylogik4007 nah that's also an issue, I figured I work on myself and other qualities and be single 🤷🏾♀️ older women usually always get cheated on so why do that to myself? Also did u like..not read the comment? I don't want someone who is gonna think I'm ugly, that's self sabotage lol
The reason why she's such a great girl is because shes trying to compensate for her looks. I guarantee she'd not act so nice if she was more attractive.
Bro watching you makes me feel so nostalgic I remember a couple years back when you gave a strong message to so many men and shut down those blackpillers
blackpill is part of redill, it is abotu knowing limits of reality, the blackpill you dont want is the anti redpill one, because redpill is about self improvement . anti redpill blackpillis basicly same as bluepill in terms of morals, lefty garbage
Sounds like she isn’t the one. If you encourage her to hit the gym with you do you think her facial attractiveness would increase? Sounds like it’s just genetic preferences for this guy.
I first met a 6.5/10 girl a month ago and the first date was my best date ever, we connected on so many levels but I honestly was still not really attracted to her physically, since I felt great chemistry with her anyway I decided to go on 3 more dates with her and and the 4th date was what sealed the deal for me. Her super feminine traits coupled with her burning desire for me and genuine acts of thoughtfulness (she offered me a box of Belgian chocolate on the second date) were what made me totally overlook my initial lack of physical attraction towards her. I also went on 2 other dates with a 7.5 and a 8.5 shortly after my first date with her, both were super attractive physically but none of them made a better impression on me than the 6.5 and I never bothered dating them for a second time. I am so glad I gave us both a chance and couldn't be more grateful to God for having met her. Physical attraction is not everything.
There's a quote (which is in my school's curriculum) that I really liked, it says : ' Intelligence transforms ugliness (or nastiness) to beauty, whilst beauty can't fix illiteracy' So in my opinion, that's definitely 100% true, the usefulness of intelligence is more important than beauty, and beauty can get fixed throughout the ages anyways, either by hardly accepting that she's beautiful in your eyes or getting her to the fitness or any other solutions. And mentioning ages, beauty won't stay forever , what stays forever is the beauty of her soul, so if you find her perfect in knowledge and there's so much common in reading and your thoughts and whatever, then that's the big win and you should take the chance of engaging her and marriage after that, opportunity comes once in a lifetime.
@@abhishekjoshi8709 Well said, I just think in long-term way that you will get used to it , and if you're already married with an educated, intelligent woman, you wouldn't fight or argue, both of you can control it 90% of the time. And I think that you will get used to her face and body, instead if you focus on gratitude that I'm grateful for the girlfriend / wife that I have and the decision that I made (engaging / marrying her) and get along with it, you would easily happy with her, also if you're married to her and had kids, you would trust her that she's gonna teach them and take care of them with you helping her and they are going to be wise and all of this great things. So there are more perks in a great woman / mother , than a beautiful one.
@@abhishekjoshi8709 I replied to you twice but idk maybe youtube deleted it or something.. Anyways if you are both having some level of intelligence and wisdom, you won't fight 90% of the time, you can both take control of it. Also one thing which is to prioritize someone who has high quality wife is that you can trust her homeschooling your kids, cooking for them healthy meals, ingraining great manners inside of them (with you ofc cuz you are the man of the house), you both would create amazing environment to them. Greater decisions lead to greater life.. Your kids won't be jefferys (hopefully).. They would be educated and disciplined and have better social connections if you have great friends who have kids.. Maybe thats not the whole thing that happen, but you are the one who decides to make 100% of it happen, or not.
@@KA_A7mad07 Yes mate ! i get what you are saying . Thanks for giving me a new perspective. the only thing that matters is to treat each other equal and respected.
I had this happen to me when I was 17 and this girl approached me and we got into our first relationship together, she was a relatively attractive girl (around 7-8). Even though she'd be attractive to 95% of guys, it was extremely difficult for me to get myself turned on especially when we were together. Eventually I lost complete interest over the course of 1.5 years and she ended up cheating on me which didn't even hurt me because I wasn't attracted to her physically (pretty f*ked up I know). Now I'm in a relationship with an attractive girl (probably 7/10 but objectively less attractive than my ex), and it has been amazing the chemistry, love and sexual energy we have for each other all the time even when we're doing normal everyday routine. I thank you for that Hamza, started watching you 3 years ago and listening to you has really helped me become a better person overall
7:31 I actually agree and disagree with this... I certainly can tell what's considered "conventionally attractive" but I really could care less coz most of the time these "conventionally attractive" women dont actually look attractive to me.. if that makes sense? Like I really don't care what other people think about her attractiveness on the beauty scale, if she has her quirks and maybe asymmetries or whatever but I find her cute then imma wanna be with her regardless of what holywood and media considers attractive. You have to be some sort of hive minded moron with no thoughts of your own, to change your mind on what you find attractive just coz of others.. my mind must always be in the apocalyptic-state I guess?
I agree💯 Also I noticed a lot of what's being said depends on where you are from. Where I'm from, no man in his right mind would have a "hot" girlfriend because everyone will think of both of them as desperate losers and that he is not manly enough to be with such woman who constantly posts on social media and isn't modest. And your guy friends if they saw your hot gf will immediately understand that you both are just playing each other and not serious. Instead, if your gf dresses modestly and looks feminine, you will actually feel proud going out with her.
Nah, there are limits to the bare minimum looks threshold. If she has some genetic condition like neurofibromatosis then I'll pass regardless of how wife material she is. If that doesn't bother you then good for you.
Physical attraction is also the icing on the cake but never the cake itself. Looks fade, we get older. Value character above all else. Of course, one's partner should take care of themselves in a reasonable manner. But choosing looks alone or valuing looks over other traits is building on quicksand. Visit LA if you don't believe me haha.
If she doesn’t meet my minimum looks threshold I am not even giving her a chance to show case her personality. There are good looking woman who have both looks and personality. They have to have both looks and personality I don’t care how much money she makes all I want is for her to be attractive enough and have a great personality that’s it.
It is nuture there is always costs and trade off you will not find perfect person because world is not built perfectly so accept it don't come and nag about women
@@fatemad4012 I wasn’t nagging about woman🤡. I was just saying what I want it’s the manosphere I can comment whatever I am thinking obviously 10/10 perfection doesn’t exist. I can tell that you’re a woman that’s why you’re complaining right? Also I actually met women who are good looking with great personalities in REAL life before so I just debunked you’re statement.
@@fatemad4012 I’m not nagging about women I actually love truly beautiful women with great personalities and I have actually seen it in real life before you just don’t go outside. You’re just triggered because you’re a woman that is unattractive.
@@fatemad4012 I am not nagging about women also do you go outside? I have seen truly beatiful woman with great personalities you’re just mad because you’re unattractive.
Honestly I dealt with the same thing, funny enough though, I started finding her more and more physically attractive the more I fell in love with her. It used to eat me up inside because I always thought she was such a lovely and kind woman, but I just couldn't get over the fact that she wasn't an absolute PAWG. I don’t know exactly what advice to give to anybody, but for me, I just simply got over it. I love her now, I guess she's just an acquired taste!
Everybody LOVES me online... then they see me. I'm 30,never had a date et cetera. I've learnt to take being blocked and ghosted after they see my pictures in my stride and I just chat online to spend some time every now and then while keeping in mind that's always going to happen. It's not ideal but asking people out myself offline is met with mockery directed to my face, so... We can't always get what we want.
I felt like he exampled me lol but im proud of myself tho i feel hate myself sometime for my ugly face i cant do anything about it and i never had a relationship with boys and they never gives attention only for being not attractive and i also talk less i dont have a male friend too just 2 or 3 online friend from codm and other games.
DON'T think or worry about this until you consistently attract women. But once you have options, it's 100% worth trading attractiveness for loyalty, kindness, skills, etc. What really matters in attractiveness is that the girl has the 'X' factor that makes YOU go daaaaamn. Don't settle for less. But don't demand more because honestly, landing a 9 or a 10 with a good personality will be a whole ass journey outside of everything else, and isn't practical for most guys.
@@kit_dragons550 bro I already tried the "Jessica way" and it did not end well (you can't save a dumb hoe). So now I'll try what Hamza said in this video. I'll give this new girl a chance and see what happens. Even tho I'm already not that much hyped about her 😭😭
I was talking to a girl 2 years ago and she was like a 7/10 looks wise but I liked her personality. She was open and wanted to carry on a conversation, she was funny. And so I grew attracted to her and by extension my attraction for her looks went up bc of her personality. I felt that “provide and protect” role with her. I wanted to do that for her. No other girl has yet to make me feel that way. Unfortunately me and her didn’t end up dating
bro i dated a really attractive women like a 10 a model but shes boring bro shes not tendrness like average womens i prefer date an average girl honestly i just broke up with her today it not worth it normal girls appreciate you more.
I've seen it many times that insecure people are mostly rude and they treat others bad as they treat themselves, they're that much insecure that they think people will reject them after seeing them so they misbehave with other people even if other people are better than them I think it's all about their bad nature If there's a girl with average looks or if she just fatty or skinny but can be improved and if her behavior is really good she's good for real because behavior also matters in a relationship otherwise what's the point of having friends and relationships with people if they misbehave even after having average looks.
they're most likely to look over an average girl with a great personality for a pretty one with none and then complain about girls' personalities@@PropioniBacteriumShermanii
I had the same experience. I started a relationship and went for 2 years. But the lack of her looks started a hole in my relationship where I felt like I deserve to have a beautiful girl too. But since she was great inside, I continued. Then later and later there was a subconscious anger started inside me because I wasn't having a pretty girl but all my friends had. I only had sex with her like couple of times per year since I wasn't attracted to her body. Then I was attracted to other girls but never cheated on her because it felt like a crime. Finally the relationship was like a jail to me since sex was completely out of my life. Then I took all that anger on her and I thought she doesn't need to suffer anymore and broke up for the best. I know the quick answer to this question is "Forget the looks and love what's inside" but I tried that for 2 years and wasted both of our time. I just wanted to share my experience here and you're all welcome to criticise me. Thank you.
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation: 00:00 *🧠 Considerations on physical attraction and relationship prospects* - Physical attraction versus desirable traits in a potential partner. - Balancing the importance of physical appearance with other qualities. - The dilemma of pursuing a relationship when lacking physical attraction. 03:14 *💡 Advice on handling the situation* - Assessing the potential for authentic love and compatibility. - The importance of avoiding settling in relationships. - Being honest with oneself and the other person about intentions and feelings. 05:03 *🤔 Evaluating relationship priorities and potential trade-offs* - Reflecting on the value of a partner's traits and qualities. - Considering the long-term compatibility and suitability of a partner. - Exploring the dynamics between physical attraction, societal influence, and genuine connection. Made with HARPA AI
This is a common struggle for any guy whose slightly below average looking. Chances are you can't pull really hot women so you're stuck selecting among girls you don't have real attraction for. The really hot women either don't give you the time of day or have miserable, nasty personalities. The only real solution is to get your looks up, look for women outside the West where this is less of an issue, or just rely on pure dumb luck and circumstance to meet the "near perfect women" (which may never happen or won't happen till your much older.) It's a common conundrum.
from my experience, i've been with some 8-9:s and they have been the most fun to be around. definitely not brainless bimbos. sure there are those too but just dodge them, it doesnt take a long to figure them out. so no, they don't often have nasty personalities
As someone who takes care of himself + a decent income but not rich… my problem is i like to enjoy the physical 8-10s shortterm (which i do) & find a 4.5-7 to wife longterm (which i cant because she wont like me messing with so many 8-10s short term). It’s a me problem. I know. I may sound degenerate to some here, yet i know i’m at least honest when many arent. I wonder if i’ll ever snap out of it & if i’ll be happier if i actually do.
@@Totikfr Did you say ethnicel or ethical? Show my face? I figured youtube shows my face, no? If not, My IG should be on my channel description. Im only active on IG.
If you date mostly for looks, after having your children those looks will fade. she might bounce back afterward but eventually everyone gets old and you are left with almost nothing. Think in long term, if that is your intention in a relationship.
I had this happen to me, I didn't take her because I really couldn't get myself to be physically attracted to her, we both moved on and she started dating someone else and i really didn't care at that point I wasn't even jealous so yeah i honestly dont think its worth it
I made the mistake falling for 6.5/10 even 7/10. It works for a while but I ended up cheating and I could never 100% commit to children and marriage/being locked in for life. I think you need to make a decision and if she’s not your future then let Her go.
Dear Hamza. I just wanted to thank you for everything you have done for the young masculine community, you have inspired me to create my own UA-cam channel and I feel I offer a unique form of content as I am only 16 and been on self improvement for around 1 and 1/2 years. I appreciate everything you do Hamza. ❤
I had this issue when i was 17, i strictly told her it was friends with benefits, she had a good body but her face wasn’t all that, as time went i lost attraction for her, even sexually. I just told her i can’t keep doing this, and while doing things with her guess what, she got feelings. Even tho i told her from the very start it’s strictly friends with benefits. Anyways she got mad and upset but i dipped.
Don’t settle for an “ugly” woman who you like talking to. It will make u feel worthless and unaccomplished. There’s a better fit out there for BOTH of u. Don’t settle for someone who makes things that should be enjoyable and chore if u know what I mean. It’ll ware u down.
Attractiveness is both physical and mental. In the long run, to be attracted is to love; how can you love someone you are not genuinely attracted to? At the same time, if it is something she can change, as Hamza said, that is different.
Wow i needed this, all of the people that I've told they say that she's not like a modern 10 but man do i see something that they don't she's literally perfect like I assume y'all have felt this but I fell like there's no other lmk.
This happens a lot sometimes especially in cities really attractive girls have the worst wife traits, while unattractive women are usually the best. Although it's not always like this
If what you mean by attractive is just her looks, however, there is much deeper sense to that in reality. The looks are only the first signal of what she might be (wide hips generally signal she's good for breeding, for example). Attractiveness varies depending of how currently 'hot' or 'cold' you are as well. Those ones you mention might me more on the hot and crazy part of the spectrum. You definitely wouldn't want a 9/10 or 10/10 craziness woman for a wife although they might be fun for a 1 night out. A high quality wifey would probably be a 6 or 7 in craziness. A highly moral woman with values, as you mentioned correctly, is usually not the highest on the 'external beauty' side, nor on the craziness side (hence you can communicate logically a little bit better with her), but in reality might still be highly attractive especially once you connect and get to know her. The more you are on the 'hot' side , the more you desire a 'nurturer' for the moment. The 'colder' you are, the hotter the woman you desire. The sexual energies Hamza mentions in the video are precisely these.
I used to watch hamza everyday, you helped me out of a low place. I am more of my own man now, but occasionally there’s videos like this that really help me out. Thanks
Some people say personality > looks or looks > personality but to me, they are both equally important. The only difference is that it takes time to know whether a girl is a wife quality but knowing whether she's good-looking takes like 3 seconds and you'd always "find out" about her looks before getting to know her. And to me, there is like a subconscious threshold when it comes to looks which I genuinely find reasonable. Once that is reached, and as I said, it only takes 3 seconds to know whether a woman has passed that threshold or not, and only then her personality matters. If she does not meet that threshold, I have no romatic interest in her whatsoever.
This happened to me and I thought I could deal with it, but as soon as a hotter girl with the same qualities came into my life, I switched up real fast. If you have doubts, don't waste that ugly girls time, eventually you will find someone better on the outside and in.
first thing first: if any of sides arent attracted in a certain way, forget it and search for another one. If you just want to have one-night-fun go ahead, but if you want a serious relationship both sides MUST like each other to make this durable and healty. until you find the certain person go care about yourself: do exercises, read some usefull books and make a carreer. getting a boy/girlfriend is a result of you making youself better, both phsysically and mentally. the right person always come in the right moment, and of course take the things slow. Womans donst like rush guys.
Please leave her.She deserves someone who is actually attracted to her both physically and mentally.And absolutely does not deserve someone who regrets for having her and does not consider her beautiful.
Looks are non-negotiable. Anyone can fake a personality. I dated an ugly girl because I thought she was wifey material, she was actually BPD and great at acting. She took nearly everything from me.
@@BD-1-And-Onlyhow long did it take you to discover her negative traits? And sounds like she has a legit mental illness not just bad personality 😭
@@BD-1-And-Only Joke's on you for dating someone you did not even find beautiful lol. Looks do not correlate with personality unless there is plastic surgery involved (dark triad women get more plastic surgery and do other things to change their appearence)
@@fran791 Are you special needs? What are you even talking about?
Yeah for sure. I was in this situation 5.5 years ago. I decided to end things. I am single 5.5 years later and she found someone that could love and cherish her in a way that I don't think I could. Despite still being single, I have no regret. I know I made the decision that allowed her to find more happiness than I could have given her. I have hope that I will still find someone that can give me what I need as well.
I'd say a woman with wifey traits but decent looking is 100% better than a pretty woman who looks fit and good but she doesn't respect you.
I had this happen to me lol, mt ex was more attractive but our relationship was absolute shit.
Now I'm in a healthy relationship for 2 years
None is ideal...
@Ahmedd12 Good shii mane looks matter but they are everything and are certainly not the deciding factor on if a long-term relationship will work or not.
cope
Agreed.
In my experience, all the girls I've dated who are like 8 or 9 for personality are also 5 or 6 for appearance. And the more I grow with them and learn to love them the more it actually affects my physical attraction towards them. I had a date with one of those girls on the same day I had a date with an 8/10 lookswise girl and the less good looking girl would later become my girlfriend of many months. That relationship didn't work out, but I recently went on a date with another 5/10 appearance and 9/10 personality and I honestly can't wait to see her again.
This has happened to me as well. She wasn’t that good looking but I started to get attracted to her more and more as we grow together. Her appearance started to either to look better in my eyes or I didn’t just care as much before. I’m dating someone who’s like that and currently experiencing the same thing again, and I think it’s beautiful
Also if she's good at, and gives regular bj's. Brings a 6 up to a 10 for me.
The relationships still don't last tho so at the end of the day it doesn't matter. Relationships are pretty much dead in the west.
you’re prolly also a 5 or 6 that’s why
@@Edward_pradatrue. Or the Stacies would treat him better. If he was real Chad
If you don't think shes pretty, don't be with her. She might be sad, she might cry and feel heartbroken, but being heartbroken for 1 week or 1 month is better than marrying a man your in love with only for him to divorce you a year later or cheat on you with a girl he does find "attractive". Please do yourself a service and her, don't be with her. You clearly aren't into her. That's fine. Not everyone is into everything. There is a guy who will find her beautiful, its just not you and that is A okay.
💯
Tf u here for woman 😂
You are right.
honestly this video is good to watch regardless of who you’re thinking about dating, any woman your interested in or have something special with could be brought to mind and evaluated while this video is played.
Yeah and also when he said the thing about rather being with a woman you feel masculine with, instead of insecure is really important. Never thought about it in this way
@@stb7479yep. last relationship i was anxious (not masculine). there's definitely women that bring your masculine side way more
Looks are non-negotiable. Anyone can fake a personality. I dated an ugly girl because I thought she was wifey material, she was actually BPD and great at acting. She took nearly everything from me.
@@BD-1-And-Only just cause someone can fake a personality doesnt mean they will. And no one can fake a personality for so long. Mostly sociopaths and psychopaths fake personalities, not normal people.
@@SPACEDOUT19 My ex was definitely a sociopath. When she finally let the mask slip it was the coldest shit I ever seen.
A good personality and good looks aren’t mutually exclusive. Idk why people think you have to pick between the two. There are plenty of people who are physically beautifully and also have a great personality and there are people who aren’t that physically attractive and have a horrible personality. And the whole “looks will fade” rhetoric is irrelevant. Just because we age and may become less attractive over time doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter now or in the near future.
So when does it stop to matter? When you are more mature? Why not be more mature now? Or you will tell yourself I am ''ugly'' and old too so we are a good match. Wouldn't it be better to try basing your attraction on other things from the start and cherish yourself and others fully? Of course, never get in a relationship with someone you don't find attractive. But thinking that the looks of the other person is why you are not attracted is foolish. It's because of your own perspective and bias. And you can absolutely work towards changing how you see and feel towards things and develop a deep attraction based on grander things. If you want of course. If you are happy with the status quo and the elite deciding what is attractive and what is not for you, with things as stupid as colorism or taller=more attractive, then go on. If what you want is a vain life and you are attached to your superficial values, why change. Maybe, that's the only way for you and other people like you to find some kind of happiness and contentment in life, I can't judge that.
Speak for yourself 😂
It's true though. So if your wife gets in an accident and her face gets affected and she stops being physically attractive, you will now divorce her because of something she can't control? What if you get suddenly disabled and can't walk, so now your girlfriend or wife whatever leaves you because you're not as tall anymore and stop being as attractive. Is this really the type of love you want, and the type of love you're giving to someone else?
There are not plenty of ppl available to the average male. A beautiful girl with a good personality goes to the 1% of top tier men. Remember, women don't want to date down either. A lot of these comments are from below average men who have forgotten this. Plus, there are a lot more men willing to settle than women.
@@vic419-mv5efhave you ever been to college? The women who spread their legs the most are usually 4/10 blue hairs, quirky, but not quite unpopular. If anything the traditional farm girls, immigrants, small town conservative stereotype of women who don't date much are more physically attractive than the feminists.
Immage if she finds this video 💀
💀🤦
This is so messed up tho? Imagine saying this about ur grl on the internet 💀
@JuniperGal-ek2pu it's just hopinions from his experience, women aren't all the same and it's not right to put labels
@@reen6904 what did I do? 💀
I think this is a common problem: Many of the most attractive women don't have the need to build their personality because their looks get them anywhere in life for free. The women with the best traits are mostly average looking, I'd go for an average good personality women over the good looking one every time. But I mean average, not ugly. Still: If you don't find her attractive, don't even try. Just imagine this:
*Her looks will also influence how your kids are going to look like. *
i keep seeing attractive men being with women lot less attractive than them. id do it too if not too ugly, a good face will make up for not beigng segssually useful. but dont spread bad genes, judge genes by their biological family not just what genes are showing up in the person.potential in being good in looks, intellegence, muscle, pretty much everything biological, is limited by genes. breast feeding as much as bbay will drink is also esssential. surrogacy maybe a way. dysgenic microchimerism
@@NonameSpaminboxHUH I'd imagine that 2 "average" people could still make a 10/10. If there's anything I know about genetics there's always a chance for a mutation based. Example I have brown eyes, but have the trait for green stored in my DNA.
Isn't that pretty rare though? Also how'd you figure out that you have the trait for green eyes in your DNA? Sounds interesting.@@2mellow35
@NonameSpaminbox many beautiful girls don't have good looking parents...When choosing girl remember to see their parents young pics..
@@NonameSpaminboxwhat if you are yourself ugly
Break up with her immediately. She deserves better than you. You are calling her "ugly". This is extremely unkind and hurtful. If she knew that you thought she was ugly, she would dump you right away and find someone who actually likes her. The next guy will. Please walk away now and give the next guy the chance with her that he is waiting for. Stop standing in the way of another guys happiness by selfishly clinging on to a woman that you think is ugly. Because the only person in this scenario that is ugly is you.
Am sorry but what do most women do? It's the best thing to be straight forward as a man
you'd be surprised how many ugly women have self esteem issues, I know it may sound harsh and unkind, but Stockholm Syndrome is a real thing.
Imo you're allowed to choose how the woman you want looks, but you can't be disappointed if a good-looking woman thinks you're ugly and rejects you if that happens
Exactly. Those are average assmen who think deserve Stacies and gigastacies. They are delusional. That's why those women stomp the floor with them and their "feelings _
You need to feel attracted to her. Just make sure you're not using explicit stuff or models as your reference point. But if you really don't feel attracted to her, then it's not worth it. Certainly if you feel any type of negative attraction then it's not really worth pursuing. If it's just neutral and maybe slightly positive then I think it could still be worth it since love grows over time. But purely neutral probably isn't good.
My wife is imo a 9.5 because she's very petite and cute. But the average man in the West who likes 6ft models or whatever would probably rate her only a 7, Asians would rate her a 10. This is obviously the ideal situation to be in.
@@AsAWhiteManMarriedToALatina
Dude none of this is even relevant. Beauty is slightly subjective and we all know that already. But looks are non-negotiable. Anyone who tells you personality is more important is just coping for the fact they get zero women. They’re BOTH important.
@@BD-1-And-Only how is it not relevant? Beauty is *significantly* subjective, at least 50%, as I've just proven. If a girl is a 9.5 in your eyes but 7 in others, she will probably have a more humble and down to Earth personality. That's the point apparently you missed.
@@BD-1-And-Onlybeauty is mostly objective however attraction is subjective
@@Alex58355 that's an interesting way of putting it
Yeah if you don’t find her physically attractive , let it go.
You’ll convince yourself overtime but you’ll double back time to time questioning her beauty.
As a woman, I recommend this. Guys won't treat you well if they don't wanna fu5k you
reason number one: you guys have spent so much time on social media and you got used to beautiful women, therefore you should leave her for another man that values personal traits more, please don't ruin her future
True
In my opinion, if the woman doesn’t turn you on, you shouldn’t consider be with her. Like, how would you praise her, she’ll feel your lack of desire anyway and we all know how important it is to a woman felling desirable and if you don’t deliver it to her, she’ll probably be looking for it in other man, who is really attracted to her. And also considering in a long term relationship you’ll probably feel a bit sorry for choosing a woman who doesn’t turn you on. I can’t figure how would you ravish her in love not feeling real attraction to her.
Its just MY opinion! Hope you find the best way to deal with your situation.
only facts my brother 👍
It’s more like if you have no connection between the person then you probably won’t be turned on but if you do most likely yes .
To comfort you, if she was pretty she would not gave you a slightest chance to date anyway.
L mentality
@@jameshappy7707 no u
@@johnanderson6946 “iF sHe PrEtty she’s NoT giVe u a slightest CHancE” , Lol u sound like a cuck
@@johnanderson6946 your mama give u L mentality
everybody deserves to be loved mentally and physically., idk about the guy or the girl but from my place ,I want a guy to love me fully and if he can't ill exuse him (cuz it's not something u can control)but I cant keep with him !and that works for men and women both.
Wow, how come you watch Hamza as a female? Genuinely interested
yeah its not a good idea to date someone you arent attracted to.
@@noweebatall5520 I've been watching him since 2021 and bcuz a lot of his points and advices work even on women
Well judging only based on your photograph, you look physically attractive for me. Now let me tell you a story There was one girl who I was considering dating, she had wife qualities, the lifestyle, the intellect, the worldview, the personality. However she was not physically attractive for me. It was a hard decision for me, dating a girl for whom I had no physical attraction. I solved the paradox in my head, by thinking that I need to be physically attracted to a girl, to a wife, or else I could lose interest. What you said about everybody deserves to be loved mentally and physically. That is factor what is needed in a harmonious marriage. So if I am not physically attracted to a girl, then it the component of physical love would not be present in such a relationship. The relationship would fall apart. I would not want to lose interest, I do not want to cheat or look at other girls on the internet, I do not want to break her heart by admitting that I have no physical attraction for her after she has fallen in love with me. There is a song by Michael Jackson, "don't go about breaking young girl's hearts, be careful who you love". So it would not be wise to get into a relationship only to not have any physical attraction at all, because then there would be a temptation to cheat. And I consider that as a grave sin. If I would find a girl who is physically attractive for me, then I would never cheat. It would be hell living with a woman without any physical attraction for her, and having physical attraction for other women instead. Sooner or later that leads to unethical thoughts or actions. So physical attraction or lack thereof should be one of the first questions to get off the table.
@@noweebatall5520 I watch Hamza for over 2 years now honestly some of his mentality, and the conversation women about is vital for us to understand guys a bit better. For example, I am a traditional women in some sense and not in some sense, therefore his channel allows me to adapt!
I'm literally living this as I write. She is intelligent, interested in me, has a good relationship with her family and work, has a good social life and is highly desired by other dudes. But I kinda find her "not attractive enough". It just sounds so stupid reading it out loud, and I think Hamza was on point talking about how we take other people's standards and let them lead or lives, even is such a seemless way. This modern world of ours can really fuck our brains up, but thankfully Hamza is here to make is think properly.
If you want to marry and spend your live with your future wife. She will become old and wrinkly. Then the attractiviness doesnt matter. So in the long run personality is more important.
So if I was actually in love with someone I’ll get plastic surgery to be like super hot for them
So if I was actually in love with someone I’ll get plastic surgery to be like super hot for them
So if I was actually in love with someone I’ll get plastic surgery to be like super hot for them
So if I was actually in love with someone I’ll get plastic surgery to be like super hot for them
How to change her: better style, gym for better body, better diet, gym for better body, low body fat percentage, fix her teeth, orthodontics treatment, skin care routine. Minoxidil for better eyebrows, a lil bit of make up if she needs it, DONE!!!!
Listening to what the other guys comment, I'm hearing a lot of things that would make guys complaint when women would say the exact same things in the reverse situation.
"This sounds like a woman that would be a great friend for when you're single"
"Don't settle", etc
So many guys would get furious when they'd hear women talk this way about men
Edit: the comments about not using the girl or leading her on are very honorable
Looks are non-negotiable imo
Men are hypocrites. And then they will complain about women not giving chances to the male friends they are not attracted to LOL
The manosphere is feminism for men. They hate the other side but are completely like them at the end of the day
bro i had almost the same thing happen: she was pretty enough (not necessary my type but doable), she had wife qualities, but she was so stupid that i couldn’t have a conversation with her that i didn’t have to dumb down for her and i couldn’t bring her in public because it was genuinely embarrassing. ended up breaking up with her after 2 months bc i took away the s3x to see if that was the only thing keeping me with her and it was
When you can‘t even have a deep and meaningful conversation with a girl, for me this is also a big turn off. You made a good decision there brother! Doing a s3x fast always shows if the girl is suitable for more then that. Take care 💪🏼
I think if you’re still at a point where you’re describing a woman you were with (you chose to be with her) as “so stupid” you still have work on yourself to do. I understand your point but Jesus you sound like a dick not gonna lie.
That’s why the Bible is so big on no sex before marriage sex can be a blinder
@@Retainedvitalityindeed, same with Islam. It’s sad how degenerate society has become.
@@justsomeguy5020Even from an evolutionary perspective sex before marriage is considered harmful because of telegony.
He didnt say "do the hardwork, especially when you dont feel like it"
Finally one guy that noticed
He didn't feel like it
You'd be surprised how less physical attraction plays a factor in the older years, a partner who is interesting, can hold a conversation, has genuine hobbies and interests will get you through a lot more nights than just one who is attractive. Now don't get me wrong, there are women who check all the boxes---but's there are certain women who may not be a 8 or 10 but will 100% align with you and your values, those women will make the years fly by in enjoyment.
When you get older your sex drive drops (usually) and personality and companionship become more important. Though one could argue the relationship has become more of a deep friendship at that point.
Yeah I feel like young guys today don’t really think about what their relationship would look like in 10 or 20 years time. By then physical attraction is the least thing you need to worry about.
The smiles in the thumbnails are devious 😂
If thats for the algo strategy, its working
The person doesnt have to be super attractive to you but there should be Somethiiiingg. There should be at least Some level of attraction physically
Hamza, I'm in a bad place right now. Thank you for your videos.
I relate to you. His videos are a huge help in a Rut.
You are gonna to make it brah ❤
I don't care
About gay people but I care about you. stay strong brother 👍❤
@@Gay_Alien_69kinda weird, why did you bring gay people into this
Dated a total bombshell-10 out of 10 but a nutcase-over a 7 who was totally down for me, ride or die. Cut 5 years later and the bombshell and I finally break up after a train wreck relationship and the 7 is long gone, happy, about to be married. Sometimes I find myself missing that sweet and gentle 7, remembering her red hair and freckles, her blue eyes and kindness. I still remember the night I left her behind for the bombshell, the pain of seeing her cry and trying to console her. It broke my heart but I thought I was in love with that 10 even though all the warning signs were there. Choose wisely, fellas.
I don't know anything about the 10 scale. Is she a 10 or is the a 7, it's hard to tell. I would just ask a simple question, is that girl physically attractive for me or not? Is the "my type"? So it's a very clear yes or no question. Other than that these are actually arbitrary numbers.
@@konstantinrebrov675waffle hard
why are you referring to them by numbers 😭 they're humans
You got screwed because you were thinking with your penis
These are the types of people Hamza attracts as an audience. Lord help us.
“Young man jumped by three criminals”
Hamza: 😁
“Good wife but ugly”
Hamza: 😁
"I keep fapping thinking about my classmate" 😁
The problem is that there are too many options these days for both guys and girls. As a Muslim we are educated to prioritise compatibility and the other individual's personal qualities, e.g whether they are good mannered, pray daily, dress modestly - all in which demonstrate commitment. When considering marriage you should ask yourself 'Would we be compatible?' And also add some logic - look inwards at your own situation - Are you attractive enough to get a guy/girl better than her? Do you think you ever will? Do their personal characteristics outshine their physical appearance? Of course you don't want to marry someone that looks like an ogre but let's be real - no one is going to look like an Instagram model AND have a highly shining personality unless you're in heaven. If you're looking for a human my friend, sacrifices will need to be made. What I don't like about the self improvement community is that they put way too much emphasis on almost trying to be 'perfect,' as well as finding the 'perfect' other. It's fine to have slip ups now and then, although you shouldn't aim for it, so long as you're consistent in a few things and able to withhold logic you'll be fine. Also romanticising life will only lead to your misery.
Exactly correct brother, people fail to understand that when the time comes when the external facade or looks fade away the only thing that keeps the relationship going is the real.connection you have with the person
A good personality and good looks aren’t mutually exclusive. Idk why people think you have to pick between the two. There are plenty of people who are physically beautifully and also have a great personality and there are people who aren’t that physically attractive and have a horrible personality.
@@alwynmanalil426 you posted the same comment 9 times brother
As a Muslim you can also have 4 different options at a time. 😂 All other cultures there isn’t an unequal balance.
@AzureWolf168 Exactly - I wish more people knew this. During the Prophet's time (may peace be upon them all) the sole purpose of having multiple wives was to take care of them all by providing financially and in other provisional ways, especially as there were fewer men. A lot of what we see on the media today depict young muslim men flaunting how they can 'sleep' with all these women and describe it in such a disgusting way. I don't think the prophets would have taken a likening upon this behaviour as it is totally different to why they married multiple women. I do encourage others to look into religion, as well as other topics before making statements.
This is one of the crucial lesson i learned from my first relationship.Dont be with that person because fundamentally you dont accept them, every argument and fight can be beared if they are beautiful(dominant male instinct). Men thrive for beauty.Publicly you dont want to be intimate with her or even be around that person because it leads to shame and denial.Physcologically ,you start to become aggressive and toxic towards them and the other person would think that its their fault othey have done something wrong. It is one of the biggest mistakes i ever made , you wont be able to love her to the fullest. Also they easily sense it if you dont like them.
How do you get out of this situation without completely ruining her? Because she loves me so much and I can’t love her back with the same intensity she deserves and gives me but i don’t know what to say without completely ruining her mental and I don’t want to do that to her even if I don’t love her like she does me 😢
@@sonymicroninI'm in a similar situation but never tell her it's because of her looks. Just say you don't feel the same spark she does. You don't need to ruin her self confidence in the process of breaking up.
Same with ugly men and pretty women women will be worse for ugly men
Damn 😀 I guess I won’t be getting into a relationship then lmao
@@alexia964 lol same
IMO, you need to find a woman attractive before you even consider dating her.
I know I'm a woman I'm 30
I don't know how old you are but my opinion is you shouldn't go with a girl you have no chemistry with, if you have no sexual compatibility etc these are very important
Imagine if you marry her and then you start resenting her and looking at other women wishing you could be with them... it's not fair to her...
I’ll do a push up for every like this gets
Just do push ups, not only if you get likes
@@Nico-007 I train everyday lol
@@lusionvids nice then keep the grind going, but these comments have no point, just focus on self improvement as you said in your video.
This is why I gotta looksmaxx before trying to date 💀 I don't want my future bf thinking I'm a 5 or 6 and saying "oh it's ok cuz she's got a good personality"..nooo way lmao
Why not? Do you want him to value you for who you are or for how you look? If you have to looksmaxx for him to like you, what happens when you grow older and become less attractive?
Are you okay with him leaving you then?
@sirf-fuzzylogik4007 nah that's also an issue, I figured I work on myself and other qualities and be single 🤷🏾♀️ older women usually always get cheated on so why do that to myself?
Also did u like..not read the comment? I don't want someone who is gonna think I'm ugly, that's self sabotage lol
my experience is that it's rare to find both actually. To the point where if a girl is quite hot it's lowkey a red flag for me now
The reason why she's such a great girl is because shes trying to compensate for her looks. I guarantee she'd not act so nice if she was more attractive.
haha nailed it
Bro watching you makes me feel so nostalgic I remember a couple years back when you gave a strong message to so many men and shut down those blackpillers
blackpill is part of redill, it is abotu knowing limits of reality, the blackpill you dont want is the anti redpill one, because redpill is about self improvement . anti redpill blackpillis basicly same as bluepill in terms of morals, lefty garbage
Sounds like she isn’t the one. If you encourage her to hit the gym with you do you think her facial attractiveness would increase? Sounds like it’s just genetic preferences for this guy.
I first met a 6.5/10 girl a month ago and the first date was my best date ever, we connected on so many levels but I honestly was still not really attracted to her physically, since I felt great chemistry with her anyway I decided to go on 3 more dates with her and and the 4th date was what sealed the deal for me. Her super feminine traits coupled with her burning desire for me and genuine acts of thoughtfulness (she offered me a box of Belgian chocolate on the second date) were what made me totally overlook my initial lack of physical attraction towards her. I also went on 2 other dates with a 7.5 and a 8.5 shortly after my first date with her, both were super attractive physically but none of them made a better impression on me than the 6.5 and I never bothered dating them for a second time. I am so glad I gave us both a chance and couldn't be more grateful to God for having met her. Physical attraction is not everything.
cool
Bottom line is if you don't see Brad Pitt in the mirror don't expect Natasha to look happy when she sees you coming.
There's a quote (which is in my school's curriculum) that I really liked, it says :
' Intelligence transforms ugliness (or nastiness) to beauty, whilst beauty can't fix illiteracy'
So in my opinion, that's definitely 100% true, the usefulness of intelligence is more important than beauty, and beauty can get fixed throughout the ages anyways, either by hardly accepting that she's beautiful in your eyes or getting her to the fitness or any other solutions.
And mentioning ages, beauty won't stay forever , what stays forever is the beauty of her soul, so if you find her perfect in knowledge and there's so much common in reading and your thoughts and whatever, then that's the big win and you should take the chance of engaging her and marriage after that, opportunity comes once in a lifetime.
i disagree every argument and negatives could be tolerated to some extend if beautiful is present. example the great battle of troy.
@@abhishekjoshi8709
Well said, I just think in long-term way that you will get used to it , and if you're already married with an educated, intelligent woman, you wouldn't fight or argue, both of you can control it 90% of the time.
And I think that you will get used to her face and body, instead if you focus on gratitude that I'm grateful for the girlfriend / wife that I have and the decision that I made (engaging / marrying her) and get along with it, you would easily happy with her, also if you're married to her and had kids, you would trust her that she's gonna teach them and take care of them with you helping her and they are going to be wise and all of this great things.
So there are more perks in a great woman / mother , than a beautiful one.
pointless violence for simping for a good looking woman? Nah@@abhishekjoshi8709
@@abhishekjoshi8709
I replied to you twice but idk maybe youtube deleted it or something..
Anyways if you are both having some level of intelligence and wisdom, you won't fight 90% of the time, you can both take control of it.
Also one thing which is to prioritize someone who has high quality wife is that you can trust her homeschooling your kids, cooking for them healthy meals, ingraining great manners inside of them (with you ofc cuz you are the man of the house), you both would create amazing environment to them.
Greater decisions lead to greater life..
Your kids won't be jefferys (hopefully)..
They would be educated and disciplined and have better social connections if you have great friends who have kids..
Maybe thats not the whole thing that happen, but you are the one who decides to make 100% of it happen, or not.
@@KA_A7mad07
Yes mate ! i get what you are saying . Thanks for giving me a new perspective. the only thing that matters is to treat each other equal and respected.
To be fair, average doesn't mean ugly. A lot of guys seem to have a misconception about this.
I had this happen to me when I was 17 and this girl approached me and we got into our first relationship together, she was a relatively attractive girl (around 7-8). Even though she'd be attractive to 95% of guys, it was extremely difficult for me to get myself turned on especially when we were together. Eventually I lost complete interest over the course of 1.5 years and she ended up cheating on me which didn't even hurt me because I wasn't attracted to her physically (pretty f*ked up I know).
Now I'm in a relationship with an attractive girl (probably 7/10 but objectively less attractive than my ex), and it has been amazing the chemistry, love and sexual energy we have for each other all the time even when we're doing normal everyday routine. I thank you for that Hamza, started watching you 3 years ago and listening to you has really helped me become a better person overall
phermones etc, systems matching by smell
I had the exact same thing happen was a great girl personality wise but she just wasn’t what I desired looks wise even though other guys disagreed
sounds cringe as fuck but you really do need to vibe with someone to be in a relationship
@@joon_xe not cringe tbh
Everyone has his or her type!
7:31 I actually agree and disagree with this... I certainly can tell what's considered "conventionally attractive" but I really could care less coz most of the time these "conventionally attractive" women dont actually look attractive to me.. if that makes sense? Like I really don't care what other people think about her attractiveness on the beauty scale, if she has her quirks and maybe asymmetries or whatever but I find her cute then imma wanna be with her regardless of what holywood and media considers attractive. You have to be some sort of hive minded moron with no thoughts of your own, to change your mind on what you find attractive just coz of others.. my mind must always be in the apocalyptic-state I guess?
I agree💯
Also I noticed a lot of what's being said depends on where you are from.
Where I'm from, no man in his right mind would have a "hot" girlfriend because everyone will think of both of them as desperate losers and that he is not manly enough to be with such woman who constantly posts on social media and isn't modest.
And your guy friends if they saw your hot gf will immediately understand that you both are just playing each other and not serious.
Instead, if your gf dresses modestly and looks feminine, you will actually feel proud going out with her.
I think Women should not be valued at all on their looks and men should control their lust completely.
That's the dumbest thing I have heard in a long time🤣
Nah, there are limits to the bare minimum looks threshold. If she has some genetic condition like neurofibromatosis then I'll pass regardless of how wife material she is. If that doesn't bother you then good for you.
That's the irony, great looks and great personality are a rare combination. If you don't find her attractive, don't mislead her.
Physical attraction is also the icing on the cake but never the cake itself. Looks fade, we get older. Value character above all else. Of course, one's partner should take care of themselves in a reasonable manner. But choosing looks alone or valuing looks over other traits is building on quicksand. Visit LA if you don't believe me haha.
Well looks gets your foot in the door; nothing else about you will be considered unless someone looks good in the first place.
This is so messed up tho? Imagine saying this about ur grl on the internet 💀
If she doesn’t meet my minimum looks threshold I am not even giving her a chance to show case her personality. There are good looking woman who have both looks and personality. They have to have both looks and personality I don’t care how much money she makes all I want is for her to be attractive enough and have a great personality that’s it.
It is nuture there is always costs and trade off you will not find perfect person because world is not built perfectly so accept it don't come and nag about women
@@fatemad4012 I wasn’t nagging about woman🤡. I was just saying what I want it’s the manosphere I can comment whatever I am thinking obviously 10/10 perfection doesn’t exist. I can tell that you’re a woman that’s why you’re complaining right? Also I actually met women who are good looking with great personalities in REAL life before so I just debunked you’re statement.
@@fatemad4012 I am not nagging about women also do you go outside? I literally found a REAL 8/10 in Europe back in August with amazing personality.
@@fatemad4012 I’m not nagging about women I actually love truly beautiful women with great personalities and I have actually seen it in real life before you just don’t go outside. You’re just triggered because you’re a woman that is unattractive.
@@fatemad4012 I am not nagging about women also do you go outside? I have seen truly beatiful woman with great personalities you’re just mad because you’re unattractive.
For me tho when you fall in true love you will still see her as the most attractive woman in the whole universe no matter what
Honestly I dealt with the same thing, funny enough though, I started finding her more and more physically attractive the more I fell in love with her. It used to eat me up inside because I always thought she was such a lovely and kind woman, but I just couldn't get over the fact that she wasn't an absolute PAWG. I don’t know exactly what advice to give to anybody, but for me, I just simply got over it. I love her now, I guess she's just an acquired taste!
She sounds great, but if you aren't attracted to her, youre doing her a disservice to pretend.
Everybody LOVES me online... then they see me. I'm 30,never had a date et cetera. I've learnt to take being blocked and ghosted after they see my pictures in my stride and I just chat online to spend some time every now and then while keeping in mind that's always going to happen. It's not ideal but asking people out myself offline is met with mockery directed to my face, so... We can't always get what we want.
The body attracts the body
The personality attracts the person.
This was perfect timing for me, thank you Hamza!! I really like your input on this one. Wishing the best for all of you brothers
Bro calm down with the meme-like thumbnails🤣🤣
I felt like he exampled me lol but im proud of myself tho i feel hate myself sometime for my ugly face i cant do anything about it and i never had a relationship with boys and they never gives attention only for being not attractive and i also talk less i dont have a male friend too just 2 or 3 online friend from codm and other games.
DON'T think or worry about this until you consistently attract women. But once you have options, it's 100% worth trading attractiveness for loyalty, kindness, skills, etc. What really matters in attractiveness is that the girl has the 'X' factor that makes YOU go daaaaamn. Don't settle for less.
But don't demand more because honestly, landing a 9 or a 10 with a good personality will be a whole ass journey outside of everything else, and isn't practical for most guys.
Oh man the timing with this one...
Hamza I am firmly convinced that you were sent by God here on Earth to help people
Love you man
Hahaha same🤣🤣. So which one you going with?💀
@@kit_dragons550 bro I already tried the "Jessica way" and it did not end well (you can't save a dumb hoe). So now I'll try what Hamza said in this video. I'll give this new girl a chance and see what happens. Even tho I'm already not that much hyped about her 😭😭
I was talking to a girl 2 years ago and she was like a 7/10 looks wise but I liked her personality. She was open and wanted to carry on a conversation, she was funny. And so I grew attracted to her and by extension my attraction for her looks went up bc of her personality. I felt that “provide and protect” role with her. I wanted to do that for her. No other girl has yet to make me feel that way. Unfortunately me and her didn’t end up dating
Bro these thumbnails with the title are crazy 💀
bro i dated a really attractive women like a 10 a model but shes boring bro shes not tendrness like average womens i prefer date an average girl honestly i just broke up with her today it not worth it normal girls appreciate you more.
I've seen it many times that insecure people are mostly rude and they treat others bad as they treat themselves, they're that much insecure that they think people will reject them after seeing them so they misbehave with other people even if other people are better than them I think it's all about their bad nature If there's a girl with average looks or if she just fatty or skinny but can be improved and if her behavior is really good she's good for real because behavior also matters in a relationship otherwise what's the point of having friends and relationships with people if they misbehave even after having average looks.
hard to take you seriously with the bathroom getup
It’s kinda his whole aesthetic for these kinda video
@@sallehodell he’s got an audience but he’ll always be limited by that stylistic choice
This mase me become heartless towards men
Why?
they're most likely to look over an average girl with a great personality for a pretty one with none and then complain about girls' personalities@@PropioniBacteriumShermanii
I had the same experience. I started a relationship and went for 2 years. But the lack of her looks started a hole in my relationship where I felt like I deserve to have a beautiful girl too. But since she was great inside, I continued. Then later and later there was a subconscious anger started inside me because I wasn't having a pretty girl but all my friends had. I only had sex with her like couple of times per year since I wasn't attracted to her body. Then I was attracted to other girls but never cheated on her because it felt like a crime. Finally the relationship was like a jail to me since sex was completely out of my life. Then I took all that anger on her and I thought she doesn't need to suffer anymore and broke up for the best. I know the quick answer to this question is "Forget the looks and love what's inside" but I tried that for 2 years and wasted both of our time. I just wanted to share my experience here and you're all welcome to criticise me. Thank you.
Im sure the girl is not ugly but she is decent but I actually think he should give her a chance he can eventually fall in love with her
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation:
00:00 *🧠 Considerations on physical attraction and relationship prospects*
- Physical attraction versus desirable traits in a potential partner.
- Balancing the importance of physical appearance with other qualities.
- The dilemma of pursuing a relationship when lacking physical attraction.
03:14 *💡 Advice on handling the situation*
- Assessing the potential for authentic love and compatibility.
- The importance of avoiding settling in relationships.
- Being honest with oneself and the other person about intentions and feelings.
05:03 *🤔 Evaluating relationship priorities and potential trade-offs*
- Reflecting on the value of a partner's traits and qualities.
- Considering the long-term compatibility and suitability of a partner.
- Exploring the dynamics between physical attraction, societal influence, and genuine connection.
Made with HARPA AI
Why is the top comment always about the thumbnail?😂
This is a common struggle for any guy whose slightly below average looking. Chances are you can't pull really hot women so you're stuck selecting among girls you don't have real attraction for. The really hot women either don't give you the time of day or have miserable, nasty personalities.
The only real solution is to get your looks up, look for women outside the West where this is less of an issue, or just rely on pure dumb luck and circumstance to meet the "near perfect women" (which may never happen or won't happen till your much older.)
It's a common conundrum.
from my experience, i've been with some 8-9:s and they have been the most fun to be around. definitely not brainless bimbos. sure there are those too but just dodge them, it doesnt take a long to figure them out. so no, they don't often have nasty personalities
As someone who takes care of himself + a decent income but not rich… my problem is i like to enjoy the physical 8-10s shortterm (which i do) & find a 4.5-7 to wife longterm (which i cant because she wont like me messing with so many 8-10s short term). It’s a me problem. I know. I may sound degenerate to some here, yet i know i’m at least honest when many arent. I wonder if i’ll ever snap out of it & if i’ll be happier if i actually do.
@@Totikfr Did you say ethnicel or ethical? Show my face? I figured youtube shows my face, no? If not, My IG should be on my channel description. Im only active on IG.
@@Totikfr cringe black piller
If you date mostly for looks, after having your children those looks will fade. she might bounce back afterward but eventually everyone gets old and you are left with almost nothing. Think in long term, if that is your intention in a relationship.
7:18 THANK YOU he said it is she unattractive because you truly aren’t attracted, or cause your friends won’t approve?
Hamza, can you please put out another video for the girls? I loved your 'Where are the feminine women' video :)
I had this happen to me, I didn't take her because I really couldn't get myself to be physically attracted to her, we both moved on and she started dating someone else and i really didn't care at that point I wasn't even jealous so yeah i honestly dont think its worth it
Ofc
I made the mistake falling for 6.5/10 even 7/10. It works for a while but I ended up cheating and I could never 100% commit to children and marriage/being locked in for life. I think you need to make a decision and if she’s not your future then let
Her go.
These thumbnails are criminal with the video titles LOL
Lmao I just click the video.. “PHySiCaL AtTracTIoN…” 💀💀💀😂
Dear Hamza. I just wanted to thank you for everything you have done for the young masculine community, you have inspired me to create my own UA-cam channel and I feel I offer a unique form of content as I am only 16 and been on self improvement for around 1 and 1/2 years. I appreciate everything you do Hamza. ❤
Thank God for putting hamza where hes at. Don’t worship hamza
send her a looksmaxing video😂
I had this issue when i was 17, i strictly told her it was friends with benefits, she had a good body but her face wasn’t all that, as time went i lost attraction for her, even sexually.
I just told her i can’t keep doing this, and while doing things with her guess what, she got feelings.
Even tho i told her from the very start it’s strictly friends with benefits. Anyways she got mad and upset but i dipped.
Don’t settle for an “ugly” woman who you like talking to. It will make u feel worthless and unaccomplished. There’s a better fit out there for BOTH of u. Don’t settle for someone who makes things that should be enjoyable and chore if u know what I mean. It’ll ware u down.
Attractiveness is both physical and mental. In the long run, to be attracted is to love; how can you love someone you are not genuinely attracted to? At the same time, if it is something she can change, as Hamza said, that is different.
"Shes wife quality but ugly"
Hamza: 😁
Wow i needed this, all of the people that I've told they say that she's not like a modern 10 but man do i see something that they don't she's literally perfect like I assume y'all have felt this but I fell like there's no other lmk.
A spark and attraction can't be forced so if you're not feeling her like that then don't go for it.
This happens a lot sometimes especially in cities really attractive girls have the worst wife traits, while unattractive women are usually the best.
Although it's not always like this
If what you mean by attractive is just her looks, however, there is much deeper sense to that in reality. The looks are only the first signal of what she might be (wide hips generally signal she's good for breeding, for example). Attractiveness varies depending of how currently 'hot' or 'cold' you are as well. Those ones you mention might me more on the hot and crazy part of the spectrum. You definitely wouldn't want a 9/10 or 10/10 craziness woman for a wife although they might be fun for a 1 night out. A high quality wifey would probably be a 6 or 7 in craziness. A highly moral woman with values, as you mentioned correctly, is usually not the highest on the 'external beauty' side, nor on the craziness side (hence you can communicate logically a little bit better with her), but in reality might still be highly attractive especially once you connect and get to know her. The more you are on the 'hot' side , the more you desire a 'nurturer' for the moment. The 'colder' you are, the hotter the woman you desire. The sexual energies Hamza mentions in the video are precisely these.
Any of those average men who wants to date a woman above a 6 is delusional. 6 women are already gorgeous
I fully agree with this. I think attraction is just a check box. If you’re sexually attracted ✅. Beyond that focus on the inner qualities.
For every like this comment gets, I will do one pushup.
nah
"there are "3.95 billion women"- Google idk, just find different poon
I used to watch hamza everyday, you helped me out of a low place. I am more of my own man now, but occasionally there’s videos like this that really help me out. Thanks
Some people say personality > looks or looks > personality but to me, they are both equally important. The only difference is that it takes time to know whether a girl is a wife quality but knowing whether she's good-looking takes like 3 seconds and you'd always "find out" about her looks before getting to know her. And to me, there is like a subconscious threshold when it comes to looks which I genuinely find reasonable. Once that is reached, and as I said, it only takes 3 seconds to know whether a woman has passed that threshold or not, and only then her personality matters. If she does not meet that threshold, I have no romatic interest in her whatsoever.
Ever realized that men are more accepting than women
@@HK00088men have no option but always women marry uglier guys even I see plenty of pretty women with ugliest guys because women are more generous
then she isn't 'wife quality' looks matter a lot. If you don't like her looks this is useless
The title is attacking me..i am so ugly .
Same 🙃
Don't get married simple
This happened to me and I thought I could deal with it, but as soon as a hotter girl with the same qualities came into my life, I switched up real fast. If you have doubts, don't waste that ugly girls time, eventually you will find someone better on the outside and in.
first thing first: if any of sides arent attracted in a certain way, forget it and search for another one. If you just want to have one-night-fun go ahead, but if you want a serious relationship both sides MUST like each other to make this durable and healty. until you find the certain person go care about yourself: do exercises, read some usefull books and make a carreer. getting a boy/girlfriend is a result of you making youself better, both phsysically and mentally. the right person always come in the right moment, and of course take the things slow. Womans donst like rush guys.
Do people listen to this guy, bruh self improvement will not let that void go away, you must have a connection with your maker, hamza lacks that
Perfect timing for this video you have no idea
This video came at a perfect time.