Loner’s Psychology: Mystery of Schizoid Personality (Intro to 6 Hour SEMINAR, link in description)
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- Опубліковано 30 гру 2023
- Full seminar here: • Schizoid Personality a...
Schizoid lifestyle as rational, ego-syntonic (happy) choice
Schizoid personality mistaken for narcissism.
Schizoid not problem of object relations but of cathexis (object libido)
Paranoid ideation, dysphoria, anxiety, and catastrophizing as engines of schizoid behavior.
Inscrutability and irrationality threaten order and structure.
Treasure chest or pandora’s box.
Triggers grandiosity by challenging it:
Misunderstood: If only understood, will be mine
Blank screen (projection)
Blank slate (molding, formation).
Adventure, narrative, movie, thrills, technicolor.
Detachment: misconstrued as helplessness and childishness.
No threat of intimacy, lots of personal space.
Self-sufficiency misinterpreted as strength or fearlessness.
Asexuality is a challenge.
Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: www.amazon.com/stores/page/60...
Happy New Year! May we all survive!
I hope we don't
May you all thrive 🧡💛
😂😂😂😂😂
I was an outgoing child in the sense that I had many friends until I was eleven, and at that point everything changed, and from that point on I've had very few relationships. My husband, a narcissist, was antisocial, so that worked well for me. I've really only had 4 people in my life, a husband, sister, mother and father. 3 of the 4 were narcissists and the other suffered from schizophrenia. It is a relief to live alone although I need the companionship of animals.
Happy New Year to my favorite channel!
I’m a therapist that has learned more here than any degree/book/lecture.
Agree 100%!
Agree 37% my estimation))
Professor Vaknin I am 72. I just learned the racket of being a victim. I am not a victim
I did want love . I now understand that I am a bad object. Thank you so much for
giving out this information. You are truly healing alot of people with this information.
I can now come from understanding and I bet there alot of people like me that this
information you are explaining.
Celebrating new year with Proff Sam. It's not a great feeling but I've no option but to stay alone. Not happy not sad but content accepting life as it is. Schizoid wishing everyone a very happy New year.
Dear Prof, thank you for this excellent introduction into the schizoid personality; I look forward to your seminar. This subject has interested me for many years, and I believe that I have some traits which are becoming more noticeable with age. I am sending you my warmest wishes for a peaceful and healthy 2024, along with my most sincere thanks for all the wisdom and insights that you so generously share with us.
I have not heard anyone speak so clearly on disorders than i have heard from Prof. Sam Vaknin. thank you for the clarity and in depth knowledge on all ive heard from you the past 3 years of my life. thank you Sam.
A bit out there. I’ve been listening to Sam for two years, and I am in no doubt that not only has this learning helped me to separate from my narcissistic style ex, but also helped me to remain sane and safe. What I have realised is that it’s all me. My ex narcissist never actually existed! This is a moment for me that I realise, yes, physically there was a presence, but who he was, was me. I constructed him, I made him up, he was a figment of my imagination. Everything I thought he was, was my own ideal.
That's me, you just don't want to be with people and you can happily spend all of Christmas and New Year all by yourself. It sounds strange and I'm pretty sure my neighbours know 'something is up with me'. But in society out and about I can mask it really well.
It's not that as a 'zoid' we loathe people, rather, we recognize the stresses and strains and the mental anguish that people can bestow on us in being around them and having to deal with them. Understand that we mean you 'normies' no harm or ill whatsoever and we are not envious of your so called well adjusted 'social lives'.
Understand that you must not confuse schizophrenics with schizoids, they are very different things. Also I get a tad offended by people stating that being Schizoid is a 'personality disorder' - I say in these days it is an adventage with the broader vast swathes of loneliness out there - we can cope really well with it given the circumstances. Lockdown didn't affect us much.
There are 'some' down sides i.e. you don't tend to have a great friends and family support network and you won't have a family legacy but I can live with that - for the time being at least.
I must also state an interesting this in that my biological father who never raised me after the age of 5 but unfortunately I saw roughly 5 days on average peryear 30 years after age of 5 is a fully fledged toxic narcassist. So maybe there is a genetic link between betwen Schzoids and toxic narcassists. Thanks for putting a lense on this topic professor.
From what I've seen, being raised by a narcissist is a contributing factor to becoming schizoid. I've thought about it quite a bit, and it seems like developing schizoid traits is very adaptive to dealing with toxic people like that.
It doesn't necessarily indicate a genetic trait that your father passed along just because you had little contact with him after 5 years old- in all likelihood the attachment injury at the root of the schizoid adaptation would have been a fait accompli by that time, though not fully manifested. Mine began to show by around age 5, was obvious (or should have been, if anyone cared to notice) by 9, and was fully formed by 15, but it receded a bit at 24 when I met my wife-to-be. There could also be less overt forms of attachment issues such as an invalidating or engulfing mother, early high sensitivity to emotional, verbal, or physical conflict , emotional identification with your mother's state, parentification... all of those and others were present in my own history, on top of a covert narcissist/sociopath sperm donor who I hardly spent any time with from age 6 and haven't spoken with in 15 years- good riddance. Mom's a real peach in her own right too, so there are just too many environmental contributors to point to genetics, though it may also be a factor. It sounds like you lean more to the covert end of the spectrum, while I'm decidedly more overt, but not entirely; I don't initiate, but I can engage on a more transactional level and socially in certain circumstances and small groups of familiar people, I just seldom see the point...lack of stimulating context, history of dissappointment, anhedonia, avolition, existential absurdity of it all...there have been a small number of exceptions which I would welcome more of if they appeared, but otherwise why bother?
@@brianmeen2158In simple terms I agree with your point about anhedonia and avolition being the problematic elements, but I would point out that they are largely a result of not having access to the basic mammalian need of appropriate social mirroring- it just isn't THERE to be had, which to me indicates a SOCIETAL disorder at least as much as a personal one, and that lack figures large in anticipatory anhedonia for me. Of course as a 'zoid my standard of "appropriate" (and safe) are much more stringent than the normies' one of a warm breathing body that smiles back .
"The partner is perceived as a cost of the intellectual stimulation", that's so true!
True to a point, depending on the partner.- occassionally a unicorn is spotted.
My therapist initially thought I had a Schizoid personality.
Turns out I am autistic instead, which caused the personality. It all changed after I met my first partner, an amazing person, our separation and my healing from it.
There is also research that shows links between autism and schizoids. In summary, a schizoid may not show the outward signs of autism because it was not accepted or it put them in danger or both.
@@simple79ify This sounds interesting, very in line with my own experiences. Do you happen to remember a link/name of some specific research that talks about this?
@@utuelias www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8717043/#:~:text=In%20particular%2C%2036%25%20of%20ASD,Ryd%C3%A9n%20and%20Bejerot%5B40%5D.
Within first few pages:
"36% of ASD patients met the criteria for schizoid PD, 17% for obsessive-compulsive PD and 2% for avoidant and paranoid PD diagnoses."
WOW this man told me all I ever'v been LOL. Even mouthing common reactions from others🥳SUCH GOOD EXPLAINATIONS, DR
Your definition of schizoid being indecipherable, a person that cannot be decode, really hits me. I feel I'm a mystery to myself and to others. My best friend, the person who I most shared intimate inf about me, once said to me that sometimes he feel like I'm a stranger, like he doesn't know who I am. This is so fuckin' depressive.
Professor, thank you for your work this year! This is my best year so far in terms seeing the truth around me. 🎉
I am very grateful my Narc is no longer walking around with the mortal souls
Looking forward to this thank you. A fascinating topic about a condition that is practically a blank slate so far as public awareness goes.
You and your channel helped me save my life. Literally. I am forever grateful.
31:53: I can think of at least three people who've had that attitude toward me. You've described what they were most likely thinking perfectly. Frankly, I hated every second of interacting with them. They didn't view me as a person, they saw me as a curiosity, a possession, as you put it. Drove me insane because I'M not even capable of understanding what goes on in my head, all I can really do is describe and appreciate it. But these people thought they could. They couldn't.
36:00: aaaand, that's how I got incredibly good at making people think I'm just fine. As soon as they want to fix one part of you (regardless of whether it's actually broken or not), they want to "fix" all of you, and there's quite a few parts of me I'd much prefer to remain unfixed.
Treasure chest or Pandora's box. ~ For me, it has been both, and I've enjoyed them equally...
I have never been 'diagnosed' - and given a 'label' ~ but this 'Schizoid' description, seems to come diabolically close. I love your content, Professor > especially your style in presentation, and your vocal tone. Cheers & ThankYou!
This has helped me understand myself much better.
Happy New Year Sam. All the best to you. Learned a lot from you again this year, more to come hopefully:).
Happy new year! Thx for sharing the knowledge!
Celibacy, my dear interlocutors, is not merely a personal resolution but a celebration of solitude. It's a testament to the self-sufficient psyche, thriving in the absence of companionship. Yet, let us not forget the symbiotic potential of human interaction. Collaboration is the cornerstone of our societal edifice. Each individual, an unmined gem, possesses the latent capacity to illuminate another's existence. This, I posit, is our quintessential purpose-to aid, to uplift, to transcend together. Intrigued facts.
Happy New Year✨ Thank you ❤
Happy New Year, dear professor, thank you for your lections!!! Hopefully all bad experiences with narcissist will stay in past years, only nice , handsome and funny professor Vaknin will guide us😊!
I’m a Schizoid who is desperate to leave life once and for all ..
Happy New year, thank you for all the education and making it interesting anc entertaining too ✨✨✨
Great video on SPD, I can relate to a lot of what was said
Wonderful! Extremely interesting! 👏
Great video, very relatable to my current situation!
Frohes neues Jahr Professor Vaknin ☘️
Looool! Happy New Year🎉
Happy New Year Sam!!!!
Happy New Year!!
Thank you for this course!! 😊❤
Happy New Year professor.
Hi, Sam.
Happy Healthy New Year.
Oh. This is an interesting listening experience, in the sense that it offers a way for me to see how others perceive me. As a schizoid (or at least a person with a lot of schizoid traits) I have always _hated_ when others project things onto me because they are so incredibly often just wrong. In trying to understand or connect they just end up isolating me more. Or they paint me as manipulative and malicious, and if I try to explain I'm not, that I am simply trying to get understood, I just get painted more manipulative.
Fun times.
To avoid this I have ended up in secluding myself from most of the population and trained myself to detect those few who seem to be able to be on the same wavelength.
(From which follows that if and when I get misunderstood by those I have started to trust, it gets under my skin in a way nothing else does. And so the trauma cycle continues.)
can't stop watching.
The section describing how a cerebral or covert narcissist seek the approval of their peers (other men) even more than that of his romantic supply was quite illuminating for me. I would very much appreciate if somebody in this community could provide me with keywords to search for more on this specifically.
Very interesting...
Professor, we are here and we are watching
I was a happy child until everything changed when I was between 11 and 14. Im not sure if was caused by the constant physical abuse of my father or what caused it. Gradually I became more and more antisocial to a point that Im 47 now and dont want to have any interaction with people. Im married and have a daughter but I still avoid social interaction of any kind. At work I do stuff on my own and avoid participating in meetings and job parties. The curious fact is that my 2 brothers have the same personality as me. I wonder if the cause was how our father raised us.
it also happened around the same age for me. Didn't help that I developed chronic sickness around that time too and was very isolated as a result of that. On top of that my family is very toxic. I have never really recovered from my childhood and I'm 22 now lol
love youuu Sam
I am spending time with a schizoid for 4 years. Over all this time Ive walked in the dark with this person. It was excruciatingly soul dismantling. Now after all this time I am discovering the schizoid personality disorder and the more I'm listening and reading about it, the angrier I get over the precious time Ive wasted with that person. Honestly I am feeling pure rage inside myself, thinking about this. All the self doubt this created in me. Like wtf?! Sorry for this but I just try to comprehend what Ive actually experienced the past years. 🤯 Makes me furious. Its like the gate to a new world of knowledge opened for me. I am more thankful Ive discovered that because now I know how to avoid these people. Ive had enough. Bye. *slams door with a smile
You can have all of it, Sir:)
Спасибо за прекрасный канал
First of all- thank you for clarifying the pronunciation I’ve heard different things from different psychiatry preceptors 😂 (I’m in the US)
" Like a treasure chest locked in a vault with the combination long forgotten" - Good God Man .
King in the cave. Cave with a 150 bolt lock on the entrance.
Crown is sitting outside the cave by the way. Just in case that’s all someone is seeking me for. Feel free to take it, if you can handle it. 😂
Wow! Insightful content. The VENN diagram could make this overlap and their distinctions indeed more clearly. Personally, I has been said by several people (who worked professionaly with many people) that I'm unreadable. For those who like and change people into becoming more like them. WHY? No, answer needed 99+% is BS.
Sam - I swear, it’s like you’re following me.
Sam is the man fr fr
Happy new year Prof from Lesmon in Jamaica 🎉
Wow, I never knew I was actually a schizoid. I learned a lot about myself. Thank you.
20 years
My grandmother married my grandfather for money and to support her at the time 7 year old son with a new father. She was a horrible person to us and my mother. My mother nags my father so much he has 0 opinions about anything, just works and puts his head in the sand. He prefers being away from home working. My uncle's wife would have divorced him if he does no demand his inheritance to build her a big house. I see how my friends are also miserable in marriage and my own experi
experience with women is similar. I doubt this love thing people talk about exists at all. Better off alone schizoid or not. People also seem to be moral hypocrites, often misinformed and make dumb instinctual decisions. I prefer the company of my dogs. I used to be very angry as a teen and young adult because of these things, used to lash out and so on. Nowadays, I have come to accept that it's just how things are. I never feel alone tbh 😅
Can you talk about eating disorders more ?
Will do. Also search the comorbidities playlist.
What do you call it when I struggle to trust my own thoughts? It feels like my mind is gaslighting me. I often forget if I did or said something, and it negatively impacts my mood. Is this the narcissists voice or mine?
Search the channel for "authentic".
Schizoid personality disorder here, diagnosed 5 years ago. Ask me anything.
What would you recommend to someone dating/wanting to date someone with schizoid personality (he told me if he would seek therapy, he would probably get this diagnose)?
Our first weeks of dating were amazing, I find him a very intelligent, deep, beautiful man. His authenticity inspired me. The first weeks we would call almost every night for hours, talk about everything. We are both into philosophy and spirituality. We had similar trauma's happen in childhood, it was almost scary to find someone who really 'understood' all of this. And then all of the sudden he totally changed. All of his focus/interest went into his hobby, which is dancing. And went silent on me for 6 days. I thought maybe he needs space, so I'll give him that and I understand his passion for dancing. But after 6 days I got a bit worried. I said 'What's going on? Are you ok? If you want to talk, I'm here...'
He replied 'I'm ok, so it seems. The only thing is that initiating contact/reaching out/having contact with anyone is hard right now.' He doesn't feel the need to be social/have contact with anyone right now, and just focusses on his work and dancing.
I try to be really understanding, but at the end of the day, I have needs too. He can't give me any answers about want he wants with us, he can only be 'in the here & now' and follow his feeling. And his feeling tells him he wants to dance almost every single night.
I told him what my needs were, but he can't seem to compromise..
Is it possible to have a romantic relationship with someone with schizoid personality? (He's had relationships before). Or should I give up on hope?
Hi, I work as a cashier rn, there's a super shy woman with huge social anxiety who comes to me every time even if multiple cash register is open. She learned the pattern which time I'm there. We exchanged contact, when eventually added me, we had a nice conversation tho it seemed emonless but she even set up an unique theme for our chat. but I can barely talked with her even on text. She still visits me, often she pretends to forget something and return to the 2nd time. I mentioned someone gave me a gift, the very next day she bought me too. But still she's orbiting like a distant planet, and also seems like a genuinely nice person. Is this resemble to a Schizoid behavior? I don't know where to put this, but very weird. Now since I have BPD this gives me extreme mood swings. I love and hate this situation.
We're not schizoids, we were just born on the wrong planet
yeah idk about you but it bothers me how everyone thinks i'm just an introvert when in reality it's just that this planet is so fcked up that i'd rather not participate for the most part.
Oni diras al mi, ke mi uzas aliplanedan lingvon.
There's only one planet. Get used to it. Make some effort.
My seemingly schizoid 16 year old has refused to talk to his twin sister for well over a year. Then he added his dad (my ex), and now me. It wasn’t all of a sudden, but gradual, going from few in person words, to only texting, to now not responding in any way. I just about lost my mind, and now he stays at his dad’s full time, where my ex delivers him his meals to his bedroom, because he refuses to come out for any reason other than to go to the bathroom, grab something from the kitchen, or go to school. Even if he is the only passenger in the car, he will only sit in the back seat, and refuses to utter a single word. I could use a reality check or a pep talk. Any advice?
Get in the back seat with him. Don't say anything and kiss him on the neck/cheek/forehead and tell him you love him and if he ever needs to talk about anything that you'll be here. And then go back to your seat and drive.
I will try!
From my own experience I would say that avoiding pushing him is important, because insisting intimacy may feel threatening. It feels for me, at least. Appreciation about who he is, just the way he is and without trying to change him, might work better. Meeting him where he's at. Showing that you are there and that you want to learn to understand him and respect him as he is _when he's ready_ - _and_ then actually show it.
For me, emotional boundaries are the strongest of boundaries. Sympathy feels threatening, but my need to be understood is strong. I also like to talk with people about topics that actually interest me. So if people show that they are ready to actually listen and interact with me that way, to try to understand and value me as I am - without projecting or interpreting but instead asking clarification when needed - it's way easier for me to trust them and therefore also approach them.
I'm probably both schizoid and autistic though, so I'm speaking from that angle, I'm not sure if non-autistic people have similar experience. But I think at least some of this applies to those, too.
@@utuelias This is very helpful. If I get a chance. Right now he won’t talk to me, and doesn’t want rides in my car because I said he had to say “hi” or some other greeting at the start of the ride, and “thanks” or “bye” at the end. I told him he didn’t have to have conversations with me, but he had to show minimal civility. My thought is that if he won’t, it doesn’t feel safe for me driving him, with him much larger and angry, and sitting in the back seat. I feel like I can’t be relaxed and a safe driver without at least how you would treat an Uber driver. I want to understand his anger and anxiety, but at the same time, I don’t want to feel unsafe around it.
@@elstal22 Did you tell about your feeling of unsafety and fear being the reason why you'd like him to greet you? Because if not, and _if_ he happens to be like me, my guess would be that he doesn't realise it. He may for example think you are demanding things simply for the sake of demanding things, which would be an unfortunate thing for both of you.
As far as I've understood, many schizoids can have problems with demands/norms/rules they either find unreasonable and/or don't understand the _why._ In those cases explaining the _real_ reasoning behind them might help. And I mean, civility is not the real reason here, fear is, so using civility as a reason may not be a good choice. Especially for a schizoid person, who may have an experience of being misunderstood/dismissed for perhaps even his whole life. Meaning that if people either never or extremely rarely meet you where you are at, you eventually get tired of always meeting other people where they are at, especially if you can't understand why they need you to do so. That said, kindness and listening, understanding and acceptance - while giving a lot of space - can do wonders.
Of course I don't know your son, so I don't know for sure if this is the case for him. I also don't know if he's been aggressive in the past. If he hasn't, so if your fear stems from his feeling of anger only, I personally might discard the rule so that he could feel more comfortable with you, but you of course do also need to protect yourself if violence honestly is a risk there.
A really difficult situation, I'm sorry for you all there.
Who else don’t have object libido? Do you have or can you make a video about this topic?
How would a Schizoid fair in solitary confinement as opposed to people with typical personalities?
Even schizoids see and hear people and are in minimal contact with others.
You could be platonic.Weighing all the factors.
Sam, could you make more videos regarding art, art creation and correlations with mental health issues and personality disorders?
Will do. Search the channel for “art” and for “Gogh”.
@@samvakninamazing, thank you!
How will you know if you interact with internal objects or with actual external people?
You can't be sure. But healthy people can tell that the external object is different to the internal one - and accept it.
Ok thank you.
I think I would like a romantic relationship, sadly I am pretty much asexual so that basically disqualifies me from having one.
Not true at all. You could have a romantic relationship with another asexual or you could agree on an open relationship.
@@samvaknin I suppose the first is true. I couldn't be a cuckold though.
Его Величество -
Моё одиночество,
Ночей течение
К строкам влечение.
Тайное общество -
Я с одиночеством,
Кота мурлыканье
Часов моих тиканье.
Его Высочество,
Прибудет вечером,
Когда окончится
Сует стечение.
Жизни пророчество,
Новое качество,
Дня завершение
Покоя вторжение.
30:21 😂😂😂😂😂
Is it possible a borderline can turn into a schizoid personality or traits of it after narcissistic abuse ?
Schizoid behaviors, yes.
Maybe you have explained me, to me. I prefer to be alone most of the time. People, especially family; are more a chore, than a pleasure.
HNY
Приходится останавливать каждые 10 сек видио и анализировать , чтобы понять 😂😂😂
Heavens doc really? I really like my alone time. Lol
She zoid should be the way to prounuance but some reasons they call it Skit zoid. Skittle candies...
They do it with stupid word like Alzheirmers too. They call it All timers. Bs language
I wouldn't mind geting a gf but I'd prefer them to be more like a pet
@@bkalnoky I have no intention to treat them selfishly, more about feeling safe to engage
@@greenman3716...friendly, loyal, house broken (instead of a homewrecker), doesn't need, eat, or bark too much, trained not to bite the hand that feeds her, and content to lie beside you on the sofa and just be petted ; doesn't sound like asking too much- yeah, if only.
Thank you, Samaharishi, for this New Year's treat.