Don’t Smoke Weed If Your Life Sucks - Cristela Alonzo
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- Опубліковано 4 жов 2024
- Cristela Alonzo explains why you shouldn’t smoke weed if your life sucks and discusses how many men she’s slept with.
Original airdate: June 7, 2013
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Her response to the guy yelling "liar" was lightning fast.
yeeeeeeees hahahaahhaha
She gave him the eye after that. Like soon as I’m done here you won’t be making it back to your car.
Wait timestamp?
She was already gonna say that I think. She never got to any other punchline so I think that was it. It just coincidentally fit really well as a clap back lol
Smoking weed unemployed during a pandemic was rough, but I felt better by the end of the night
It doesn’t get better homie
that’s how it goes bro. You feel better at the end of the night because the only thing you’re supposed to do at that point is go to sleep. You take comfort in that. But during the day, when everyone’s supposed to be moving and working it gets rough again.
Getting high when you’re unemployed is a sign that it might not be recreational anymore... it is now an irrational addiction.
Same here I’m going through that right now
She’s like a cool aunt
a hot cool aunt.
@@ScottCasonRealtor Hey idk if I would go that far, but you do you bro
I LOVE the gymnast walking the straight line. And the slow mo! This is so smart and funny. She is so smart and funny.
I haven’t actually laughed in a while, this was funny. I needed that. Lmao
Yeah me too man 😂
Go watch Nikki Glazer then...
So true...
Life's good = weed
Life's suck = drink
Truth lol
She doesn't get near enough attention as a comedian! She's amazing!
She’s like the female fluffy, and that’s the ultimate compliment because he’s one of the best comics today 👍
Meh, fluffy ist way better. His energy alone is awesome, plus his jokes are mostly clean.
She’s better. At least in this sample no weight stigma yet still plays on the inequity.
@@ekdaufin1485 I still love Fluffy’s voices and sound effects though! The 2 just have a similar style
Lol it’s true! I was a dancer growing up and anytime I e had a sobriety test I walk just fine in heels lol
Anytime? Sheesh how many times have you gotten pulled over for a sobriety test?😅🤣
That's cool as hell😎 🍻
@@magnolia2 LOL
the key is to wear heels while taking the sobriety test so u can just say "oops sorry heels r so hard to walk in hahahaaa"
Slept w/ 3 lmfao I love her
I needed a good laugh and she definitely made me crack up!!
Just love watching you!! Thanks for the laughs.
Geez, I love this girls character 🤭 she's a natural.
Naaaaaaaaa, my life sucked during the quarantine. Weed helped ALOT😁😁 smoke up everybody 💯💯
The problem is, unless you're naturally very driven, weed will only make you feel good for a moment, even masking the feeling-like-a-loser. It'll make you feel good with the loser state you're in without doing anything about it. That's it...thus, promoting complacency.
@@lslewis Bruh, we get all that. I'm just talking about during quarantine. I had trouble coping with America burning all year my bad
@@lslewis It makes me feel human enough to function. I can’t work rn due to health issues anyway, so Im toking up so I can actually eat, and not waste away bedridden in pain.
@@blackdynamite5016 I hear you, man
@@Tayl0r_ Yeah, I understand. There are pros, cons, and exceptions to it. To clarify, I was just highlighting a common situation I see where people allow a substance to take control of their lives rather than use that substance to better it.
I would watch a couple hours of her telling jokes!
Totallyyyy
Netflix has a few of her best specials ! Totally recommended.
Home girl looks like she’s a smooth 4’5” of Hilarity.
Haha try 4,6 we short people stick together LMFAO
@@surenittyboyle3137 😂😂I’m 6’4” the inverse of that n I wish there was some sort secret society or something of us for sure.
@@andersonash9059 LMFAO im 4,6 and im not getting any taller and sorry to break it to you only short people have secret society's
4’9 club ayyye
@@undergroundsalmon2815 yes that it is tho lmfao
🤣🤣🤣 “I think I’m getting a warning” 💀😆
She killed it!
I laughed so hard at this while eating popeyes high that I choked on my chicken. thank you.
I am a gymnast and when I was young I had the walk the line a couple times. I learned quickly the first time DON'T DO A CARTWHEEL on the line. It gives you away.
My life sucks and when i drink by myself i end up sobbing, weed for me
I'm sorry you think that. But it maybe better by now. My life was tough when I was younger. Jesus changed my mind and he showed me what love is 💜 He loves you. Happy day ahead for you ✝️❤️
@@idaahtoong5187 thanks ida
Love her! CSI episode after a blackout!
My favorite person in the world from Rio Grande Valley
Yes , yes , and yes she funny , more please .
As a white guy who's dated alot of woc, I can say, accurate as hell
Uummm what the heck is a “woc”? we have enough acronyms to deal with already in 2021!
@@audio3980 women of color
You better be taking them to Nordstrom.
Screaming @ the confession 😂😂😂 (me now realizing why my friend dates white guys and she’s a poc) 😅
Oh yeah, drinking jokes take me back! I kind of remember my 20s. (This is good!!)
You are hilarious! Love this one!
She's real good!!
I literally laughed so much she is so funny, and weed helped me through tough times, id rather only be high ☺️😌
Weed makes my days go by faster
Slows my day up.. 😂
@@waltertx.6020 they prolly smoke sativa
@@bashwill236 yeah I don't smoke thc very often. But if I do, I smoke a vape pen.
It slows me down where I can sleep better.
Productive smoker here !!!👍
I'm high BTW
You're amazing!
So many times I've gotten warnings lol my Lincoln gets me pulled over but my white accessory as passenger gets me off
So True 😂
Fast forward. I like that. Until now I've been calling blackout drinking "time travelling."
Too real
Thats 1 of the best advices only smoke if ur life doesnt suck
Next fluffy ?😭😆
Man, I love Fluffy too 😂😂😂
Lmaooo she slept with 3 😴 LOL
I actually like this a lot
I forgot about her she's pretty good
LOL, that actually happened to me one time. I am was a gymnast most of my childhood and teens and when I got pulled over at 21 and had a few beers the police asked me to walk a straight line. I did and I even pointed my toes. 😂
she's good.
she is incredibly hot and sooooo funny. god blessed her.
bill burr alec baldwin head bit came to mind watching this lol
I hitt that fast forward button every Friday my cheat days are Thursday
Cruz ramirez talking about DUI😂😂
this was fucking funny, thanks yt algorithm
4 real....un....em....ployed.....😂😂😂
I smoke ... she is Comic genius
smoke regardless ^_^;
Funny
Love it
I can’t unhear her as Hester now,
Shes awesome
Rate the sneakers
ALWAYS IN STOCK AT MODELLS IN ALL SIZES
Sup comedy central
She is great
Cruz Ramirez Singing
Haha ask the right question...
So this is who is going to be hosting the new legends of the hidden temple. Interesting choice. May be good may be terrible lol
Calling out stoners everywhere lol
This chick is funny
She’s hilarious 😂 is the
She reminds me of gabriel iglesias idk why
Anyone here after listening to her on the rebirth podcast
Check it out if you haven’t 🙂😊
Yo best Female comic alive..the brown lady is killing the white girls who always talking about their periods and ect. Feminists..hating on guys ect. This chick the type to commentate the superbowl party
Gabriel Guttierrez, love you buddy ❤️ & here's me talking about *my* periods
😂
Day 1 .........
Day 2 ......................................................
Day 3 ......
Day 4 ...
Day 5 ...
❤️😀👏
😂👍
Cruz why you do that?
🤣🤣🤣
Neither weed or alcohol help me... sucks either way 🤷🏼♀️
Try stronger psychedelics than weed lol. It's life-changing. I can't say you won't still think your life sucks, but at least you'll see the world differently. I was pretty suicidal my entire life until I tried acid the first time. I've used them carefully for a few years, with meditation, and I'm a different person. You might also wanna check that you don't have any problems with your thyroid or adrenal glands. Stress can mess up all your body functions and major organs, including and especially mental health. A healthy diet with lots of raw foods, and adequate sleep, exercise, and fresh air. Just to give a few suggestions, if you really think the world sucks, I used to too and it was really shitty. If you think the world sucks there's no reason to have motivation, to be the best you you can be, so it's worth a shot if you don't want to feel at the end of your life that it was wasted. When you're out of the fog you'll see what I mean, you lived under a cloud and you didn't have to. Anyway, just these things changed my life and a lot of other people's, I try to share when I can. I wish you luck, hope things get better for you soon!
@@nicoleowens2318 thank you for this answer, I really appreciate it 🙏 thanks for taking the time, and for the advice. I have managed recently to put myself together, a bit, I don't even know how, it just happened. But, yes, trying out things is important, when done in a right way, I am sure it can help. 💕
yeah nah, smoking weed when your life sucks is the only thing keeping you from ENDING IT so im good.
the day after Halloween is my birthday
💨💨💨
Smoking weed while driving 🚗 is the best
Mellow & focus on driving
Cristela, whoever thought you should be our LOTHT guide was obviously on drugs.
I think she should try singing
"i got a dui that sucked" lol maybe dont drink and drive then👍
This isn't funny
You're not a rope
At all I thought I was the only one
She is terrible
You’re not funny.
Yeah I don't think it is either 😖
She talking bout unemployed . I guess so the gov we got will pay u to stay home to be on social media
I’ll smoke weed I don’t need your comedy to tell me otherwise
You aint white?
Damn, still not a funny Wemon. Do they exist?
I guess she's not one of "those" girls, huh... that's what we were supposed to pick up on.
i disliked that bit tbh
Puro malinchismo.
I wouldnt say that. Its an appropriate reaction to the racial bias in our culture, which is deplorable. She is creating humor and entertainment from a frustrating reality.
It's like her comic influence was just a compilation of worn out/over used stand up comedy garbage. Maybe the video was edited poorly and missed the part immediately before this started, where she said, "shitty comedians in the late 90's be like..."
I liked her but this comment was also funny 😂
Don’t smoke weed if your life sucks, cause you’ll gain a 100 pounds like Cristela and your life will suck worse. Oof
You really thought you did something
Why are you so rude. If you don’t like her, don’t watch!
Shes not that good. She's okay.