Apple Picking Is Only Romantic for White People - Cristela Alonzo
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- Опубліковано 9 сер 2019
- Cristela Alonzo explains why she isn’t into apple picking and suggests that rappers boast about buying more practical, everyday things.
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"it's not part of the joke, guys. i was just tired" 😂😂😂
I felt that 😂😂
3:23
Weak humor.
Both her’s and yours.
And you didn’t even get the quote right.
@@Zerpersande so?
You make me roll laugh! 😂😂😂
My parents scolded me so often about them damn apples. "You're great grandparents did not pick apples from Mexico to Wisconsin so you could lay around and play video games!"
Angel Pacheco they ain’t wrong though
Wisconsin apples hit different
FROM THE TOP ROPES!!!🤣🤣🤣
Ugh, worse is picking strawberries.
That's great lesson. You're lucky your parents taught you to be appreciative. Treasure your family history. You should be happy you have something to share to your next generation.
OMG! Hilarious ‘ I know, you pay with debit card. I was only messing with you!’ 🤣😃😂😘✨✨👍🏾
Gwen Simmons I’m dead 😂💀
That was the one part I didn't get!
@@ImperialDigimon me neither maybe she read the name
@@Fatelvis2 I think it is because there is a stereotype in the US that Mexican's always have a low credit score so they are not able to get Credit Cards and that is why they mostly use Debit Cards....that's my take on it though... I can be wrong.
Oh I was like what do Indians pay with
This is also why you don't take someone from Bangladesh on a romantic build-a-bear date.
Arthur Sprong Oof 😂
😅😅😅😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
lmao
Ohhhhh, now I get it.
@@simplyincorrigible7708 ? I don't?
I am a girly girl, and I hate the small talk in nail shops too. My favorite nail tech was actually a guy, I sat down, told him what I want. I put on my music, he did a great job, I tipped I left, did this for three years. Knew nothing about him, he knew nothing about me, it was great!
"Best friend I ever had! We still don't talk sometimes." -- Ron Swanson
;)
She rocking those mexican Jordan's. 😂😂
True Flights are the Air Jordan 7s for Latinos lmao
I was going to say the same thing 😭😭😭😭
Lol I see a lot of Latinos wearing those
its pronounced Hordans. and it has a catapult shooting jordan with a sombrero in the waffle
you a fool lol. no me jodas
My 6ft big burly neighbour played fekking Titanic song on loop for 48 hours straight when he split from his girlfriend!!
Did not answer the door.
I got worried so I had to call the police. He was in the bath crying when they bust in!😳
It’s not just girls!!
😆
When you hear that little flute intro you know you're going deep lmao
When I split with my ex I legit sat in my car on my lunch break every day and blasted Elastic Heart and sobbed. Her bit hit very close to home 😂
Exactly how does that work... cops bust in on what grounds??
@@mjade1673 if they have reason to believe the person inside may be in any need of help, especially if they're not answering the door, they're allowed to do so.
“In the back and in the balcony” lmfaooo😂
oh wow her physical humor is on point
Right? Lol 😂👍
😂😂
Or overdramatic and kinda annoying
R u serious? I felt terrible for this lady
@@eggplantglue7433 agreed. I didn't take the comment that way.
I did the same thing where this white guy asked if I was Thai and I said yes (I'm Filipino). Then he started telling me words he knew in Thai and I panicked and blurted out, "I was born here!!!!" and ran away.
Hahahahha busted
lol ive never seen a filip that looks thai.
I’ve never seen an Asian/anything girl run from white man busted made up story.
@@dadsfreetimeclassicgaming1220 both are from the Malay race so yeah we look alike
@@jackrush1222 Thai are mostly Tai-race, often mixed with Kmer who were in Thailand before Tai-race arrived. Filipinos are Austronesian. I am Thai.
Her cry is epic! 😭😂💀👻👻
*"It's complicateeeeeed!"*
SagittariusBoomBamPOW SheDidThat
I think we've all posted that at one point in our lives. (I mean as a woman).
I know I did when I was younger. Now I just keep it as "in a relationship"at all times. Even when I'm single. It keeps at least SOME guys away. But, there are still some that will hit you up.
Ok I have to follow your channel cause of your youtube name regardless of content lol
@@primeminister66 Lol! Awwww! Thank you, for subscribing to my channel! I'm your 12th Subscriber🙂👍
@@thetravelinsagittarian1316 Appreciate you my sister! God bless
she stole the "bernie mac kings of comedy got hit in the throat now you gotta pause scream"....
that being said she did it well.
Lol! This girl lay down in the middle of her stand up and took a nap 😆 🙌
The song part is so accurate lmao
"I'm unfriending you on Facebook" 🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭
I hate how easily I fall in love with all these comedians. So hopeless.
She is hilarious though.
U SHOULD SEE THIS VIDEO ua-cam.com/video/TB2vnbjRc6o/v-deo.html
Me too!
Just saw her at Irvine improv! She’s hilarious
Not really. Makes simple jokes on her race and about men. That’s about all women comics know how to do. Honestly hadn’t been a funny woman comic since Rosie. Get better standards man. God Bless
It's complicated!!!!!!! Then takes a break on the stage 😂
redpepperdave It’s not part of the joke. I’m tired. 😂💀💀
What part of India?....ummm Gua-te-mala🤔🤣😂
Janika Dennis What’s the weather like in India? 😂😂😂
South East Asia and south americans looks the same
Lmao if you say it in an indian accent it sounds legit
@@GE0attack keep that thought to yourself brother... Nobody likes to look like anybody 😂😒
@@narekhart9862 i have seen common things
“It doesn’t even have to be premiummmmm” 😂
Love her personal take on picking apples.
“I’ll see you at a dinner” 😂😂
Lmao my bf was like why do you keep playing this song? BECAUSE IT’S OUR SONG! 😂
And he is still your boyfriend after that?
Look... you better cherish that dude and do right by him, because he is a keeper.
😂🤣😂
Taylor Swif
never heard of apple picking being considered romantic. must be an old thing.
On the east coast it’s popular. That’s as much as I know. Never seen a Hispanic person doing it romantically. Orchards hire Mexicans to gather them. In fact “Apple-picker” is a slur around where I grew up, which is covered in orchards
@@redram5150 no, it's not popular anywhere including the east coast.
John Handcock if you say so Chief. I’ll just tell all the people at my local orchard this weekend they’re not supposed to be there. Thanks! We didn’t know
I thought it was only gay men in New York that went apple picking.
@@dribrom older white women and yeah definitely gays
Listened to her prior routines and she really nailed this compared to a year or so ago. Extreme improvement in her timing and inflection. Serious potential present this was very funny.
Shay Sama doesn't she have a tv show?
2am and trying not to laugh too loudly so that I don't wake up my family...🤭 I might have failed 😂
I watched her stand up on TV back in 2011. I’m always looking forward for new content from her! I love Cristela!
Lost it @ "it's complicated" LMAO!!!!
Her patitas in the air kicking 😂 nombre sis your funny lol.
Love her, I wish she got a second season for her TV show it was my family’s favorite thing to watch together.
Wat Show??
@@adan3610 She had her own TV show several years ago, you can watch it on netflix
@@annashadows2001 Oh Ok thx u very much
The nail technician is said oh she going to lie let me go mess with her😂😂😂😂👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
"Oh honey I know you're Mexican, you pay with debit card. I was just messing with you.". 💙
You know a woman’s a good comedian when she has a nail salon story😂😂
The love song part is true 😁😂😭🤭
I work in San Jose in tech industry , I always use the Indian thing and it opens doors and free food and perks. Downey California
My sister is bi-polar when her meds would get out of balance she'd play VICTIM OF LOVE by the Eagles 19 times in a row 😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜
Modern Savage25 lmaoooo she was a manic depressiiiiiiive
which was impressive
very impressive I had to test it
🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
III
At least its a good song
I live in Oregon and I go not only apple picking but berry, peach, plum, etc picking because it's cheaper 😅
And the fruit here in the pnw is nice and yummy
Hannah blackberries and huckleberries slap different in Oregon
Wait, you pay to pick fruit?
The “we pick a song” 🎶 is sooo true and funny 😆😂😂😂 wow I feel seen…just ran across this and she’s becoming a favorite 😻
This is so fuggin accurate... I love how she throws herself into her comedy
I'd be like, "you know that place with the Taj Mahal? Yeah, I'm from there." XD
She reminds me of AkiDearest. She doesn't look like her, but her voice and attitude are the same.
She's latina Akidearest
I see it and I cant unsee it 😂😂😂
@@twoprayingbuddhas892 Nope. I'm pretty sure Akidearest is Filipino. She mentioned it.
@@XilK28 they're saying Cristela is the Latin equivalent to Aki
Cristela is so funny and entertaining! Love seeing someone from the RGV make a name for themselves in the “show biz”.
I know her sister Julie and brother Ruben...its great to know that she's from San Juan Texas...but what puzzles me is I don't know how we met
That last punch line!!!!😂🤣🤣🤣😂🤣🤣 had me rolling 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
i love how expressive she is
her delivery reminds me of gabriel inglesias
I was going out with this girl she says she wants me to meet her grandma... and I end up mowing the lawn
...and didn't need use of profanity or vulgarity...bravo! ❤
When she started her nail salon bit: you have boyfren? And my mind was like nope, wrong comedian
Anjelahhhh that’s a funny bit tbf.
‘Want me to wac your eyebrow’ 😂😂
‘I like your eyeshadow, look down’ 😂😂
@@ToFFe1920 I know haha I laughed so hard🤣
Lmaoooooo 😂 hahahaha! She's too funny! Lol 😂
Now I can't stop singing that Michael Bolton song! 😂😭💀
I love this woman. She is so good and always on point.
I'm dying of laughter! This babe is funny!!!
I had a girlfriend that wanted to go strawberry picking. I told I didn't want to go to migrant worker fantasy camp
I'm Hispanic and my ex chose "our song", he called me one night while we were in different countries just to say he had just listened to Heroes by David Bowie and it reminded him of us. It's been 9 months since we broke up after nearly 4 years together and I still can't listen to it bc I like it too much to ruin it. Lol
Ahhh, Cristela. I like her, but I have to admit she's not always laugh-out-loud funny to me in stand-up form, either. But, I did love her show, it was actually really good for a sit-com. Would recommend. 👍
ButcherofRagol what show? I like this broad
@@twilightgardenspresentatio6384 Its just called Cristela, it might still be available on Netflix.
The show was hilarious.
Her delivery is hilarious!🤣
This young lady is far too funny to have these UA-cam channels chop up her work up in a tiny little sections, she deserves full blown specials
if some1 invited me to pick apples and brought a joint I'd say its romantic
I like the way you think . Then when u get the munchies u eat the apples . Yes .
Is there any other way?? The fresh baked goods at the orchard!! Oh my
Sounds like the perfect date for me too 😁
Everything's romantic if you bring a blunt :)
Karolin S accurate
her facial expressions lmao
That last bit though 😂😂
And that's why I do my own nails.😂😂😂😂😂
Im in love. Her smile and laugh are amazing and she's hilarious 💝
If you haven’t “picked apples” by the fourth date, it’s over.
I hate small talk too. I don't get my nails done.
Peace&Love yeah, much cheaper to do it myself lol
This was literally a fight my parents had about strawberries.
Just found this, HILARIOUS 😂
That salon thing was the plot of at least one that's so raven
The title of this alone cracked me up. Glad I clicked to watch! Hilarious 😂
I was asked to go "berry picking," by a date once, and I'm like---what about rummaging around a hot field while doing dirty, physical labor sounds fun to you?
my aunt showed me pictures of my father’s family when they were young. the cabbies in New York had a tradition where a bunch of them and their families drove out to nearby orchards and filled their trunks with apples
White people like plantation tours too. As a black woman I think, why would I want to even go there? For the beautiful surroundings?
Stacey Singletary girl yes AND they get offended when the tourist worker is saying what the wypipo did they feel offended n awkward. Like why go there 😂😂😂😂😂
@@cowafungus8104 Don't lie. No one would want to date you
@@All-Hail-Gayle another absolutely hilarious woman I see
I'm a white girl. I've never toured a plantation, but I'd probably tour one for the history, with the sort of reverence one has while visiting battlefields or museums. Not as a fun, romantic date, but to remember the atrocities that were committed.
...also a little bit for the architecture. I'm a sucker for architecture.
Ezmyrelda Andrade so that’s their excuse for being racist?!
My love song for my first boyfriend was leaving on a jet plane
LOL. That was great! 🤣
Our song was “I Know You Want Me” by pitbull and she’s very very accurate lol
Mine was 'Burn' by Usher
What's the major export of India??
I died!😂😂🤣🤣 Totally caught me off guard
That Ana Gabriel impression tho... 2:36 👏🏽👏🏽
comedian: oh we got some latinas in the house??
leslie jones: wooooooooooooo
"No pos we got here late" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I miss her show. It was so funny.
It was.
I damn near spit my drink and choked.
this is funny.
Her faces tho...she transferred into abuela 🤣😂🤣
Cristela is the best comedian on this planet for the day. Possible next week until February calendar shoot has been shot. Sign me up.
Made me think how I can't listen to hey Delilah anymore cause it was me and my ex's song lol
Great stuff!!
*You can always pawn the Diamonds for cash...boom mind blown!*
Omygod I BURST OUT LAUGHING
material is platinum. delivery is a mission.
Her faces are priceless
I’m tempted to get my nails done there.
That place sounds fun.😁
Need more of her!
Got the hispanic jordans on lol
I'm bouta go ask my ex's what the song was for us 🤫🤣
True Rhymes careless whisper
Taylor swift-our song
Classic
LOVEEE HER
I would hang out with you! You are hilarious!!
Soon as she got on the floor
Me: "She ain't gettin up right away..."
I’m see you at dinner ! Lmao !
Her show was good they should of gave it one more season.
Loved it girl. Congrats 👌
catch the ladies at my nail salon asking about my brother's birthday like
Welp. I feel attacked. 3:15
My grand parents worked in fields too 😂😂😂😂
Can you believe this mates. One of the best positive ones.
Nail tech is savage
I freaking love this woman