Learn this before dating anyone

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  • Опубліковано 28 лис 2024
  • This will help your relationship tremendously

КОМЕНТАРІ • 710

  • @SAMMYTHEEDITMAKER
    @SAMMYTHEEDITMAKER 6 місяців тому +6148

    "Keep your relationship private, not secret."

    • @bella_querida
      @bella_querida 6 місяців тому +194

      My ex wanted that, he was my first bf i never rlly understood it until i would be getting my friends opinion on shi and everything he was saying in the beginning i'd do, until i realized that their opinions n them knowing everything was ruining shi between us😭

    • @Sauciermean
      @Sauciermean 6 місяців тому

      @@bella_queridaYup

    • @notusgodwind4512
      @notusgodwind4512 5 місяців тому +59

      ​@bella_querida that sounds like you told the wrong friends. They should only help you sort through your thoughts and give you advice on how to talk to your partner

    • @1lovebaking
      @1lovebaking 5 місяців тому +26

      ​@@bella_querida that happened to me too 😭 it was to the point where my friend liked him behind my back and told him lies, my other friends were just causing drama. Shit sucked

    • @im.special240
      @im.special240 5 місяців тому +6

      I FW THAT

  • @LeoBurz
    @LeoBurz 7 місяців тому +5747

    "Every attractive person is not good looking, and every good looking person is not attractive"
    Mannnn that cut deep

    • @raquel7675
      @raquel7675 7 місяців тому +20

      That hit so hard!

    • @Nicnacsqt
      @Nicnacsqt 6 місяців тому +19

      can you explain further the first statement why an attractive person is not good looking? Is it because of other aspects?

    • @damefame8921
      @damefame8921 6 місяців тому +6

      Deeper than any blade

    • @Musikmaker658
      @Musikmaker658 6 місяців тому +6

      You still have to do your kids a favor and make sure they don’t turn out like a giraffe.
      You have a duty to the future not your own desire. Even if the partner isn’t worth it. At least the kids bring value to the market. Worth the trouble.

    • @nyixtaa4731
      @nyixtaa4731 6 місяців тому +94

      @@Nicnacsqt the right quote was "not every attractive person is good looking, and not every good looking person is attractive"

  • @AndrewRoberts-ty9qy
    @AndrewRoberts-ty9qy 6 місяців тому +2119

    “You call yourself ugly, because some one else called you ugly” that cut so deep, especially because that’s something I am going through, and my girlfriend. I tell her almost every day how beautiful she is but she still doesn’t believe it. I hope one day she realizes how gorgeous she really is.

    • @m9rcelin3
      @m9rcelin3 5 місяців тому +59

      Awwwww you’re a good boyfriend please keep telling her that
      even if it seems she doesn’t see herself that way
      keep saying it to her it means the world for her to hear that from you
      youre a good boyfriend thank you for seeing the beauty in her keep treating her right and being kind to her i wish you guys nothing but the best in life

    • @Soren_Swanson
      @Soren_Swanson 5 місяців тому +21

      That’s the same thing for me. She’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met, and she still denies it. I’ll never stop telling her how beautiful she is though

    • @watchyourback8877
      @watchyourback8877 2 місяці тому +10

      What's crazy for me is that I've hear a lot of people call me handsome or cute, but I find it difficult to believe that at times, I don't even remember anyone calling me ugly yet I feel that way about myself.

    • @altimusprimal5792
      @altimusprimal5792 2 місяці тому

      @@watchyourback8877Bro i feel you. For years I’ve been held back by this feeling that I’m not good enough, that I’m an ugly son of a gun. Thing is, you gotta reach out to yourself and prove those voices wrong, cuz at the end of the day, those voices don’t matter. It’s what’s inside you that matters. I only realized this like either June or July of this year. And let me tell you that I feel better than I ever have been and I am a better man for having gone through that.
      Here’s a life lesson: Any challenge that you face in life has meaning, and that meaning is to learn from the hardships and learn from the mistakes. And I encourage you to make mistakes, since that’s how I believe we grow as human beings, even more so than if we are always right 100% of the time. Because, if we’re always right, we never really learn anything.
      I know I rambled on a little too long so sorry about that 😅. Anyway, I hope whatever I said here helped you in some way.

    • @bigsadge747
      @bigsadge747 Місяць тому +1

      I hope your relationship is still going strong

  • @thewrathofdumbledore4867
    @thewrathofdumbledore4867 7 місяців тому +2803

    Hi shimon. I went on a date with a girl I met on Tinder although we quickly moved over to messages. we had a great time talking with her on calls and we clicked in there, but when I met her IRL today. we didn't click at all. we smoked in freezing wind and talked but It wasn't a comfortable vibe, for me personaly. I actually watched one of your videos prior to going on the date and it helped me be able to have a nice time with her but even still I didn't feel the click at all. then right now, came home. (notifications) "Learn this before dating anyone" 17 minutes ago. it feels like fate brought me here.

    • @noÿr7
      @noÿr7 7 місяців тому +76

      But it’s not helping with handling ur dates. It’s a great video tho but I thought it’ll give advice for first dates.

    • @lotusisonyoutube
      @lotusisonyoutube 7 місяців тому +14

      @@noÿr7He already did others videos for first date

    • @lekoraxx5406
      @lekoraxx5406 7 місяців тому +97

      ​@@lotusisonyoutube The fact you actually went on a date is a good sign for growth and progress. Enjoy the journey and embrace failure and learn from experiences. The best way to learn is from learning from your own mistakes.
      Exclude the phone.
      Sit yourself somewhere.
      Reflect.
      Note down your thoughts and track your progress.
      Whatever it is.
      I wish you the best!

    • @unkn0wnmortaL
      @unkn0wnmortaL 7 місяців тому +16

      If you give it another shot definitely go with a much cozier relaxing atmosphere

    • @jsjsshdjh6150
      @jsjsshdjh6150 7 місяців тому +9

      Srry to tell u but it wasn't fate. Jesus brought these events together so you can have your chance again ❤

  • @aarondk74
    @aarondk74 7 місяців тому +2680

    Love isn’t based on feelings , it’s on decision. It took me 3 months to realize I was in love with ex situationship. Always remember their’s always going to be a badder girl. But no girl can ever understand you both mentally nd physically then the one who’s trying.

  • @ayo_osk
    @ayo_osk 6 місяців тому +635

    the fact that you don't make cuts in the editing even when you forget the reason why you were talking about something makes all the video look like I'm just talking with an older friend, magically real.

  • @Sivuyisiwemelane
    @Sivuyisiwemelane 7 місяців тому +753

    " Nothing external can fix what's inside "- Shimon. Damn😔

  • @itswompie
    @itswompie 7 місяців тому +1489

    This videos timing is crazy. I just broke up with my 3rd girlfriend a few weeks ago. She is kind caring, and listens, but highly unstable and bipolar. We broke up because she didn’t feel ready, which I 100% understand.
    Today she introduced me to her new boyfriend. He took a puff of his vape and blew it in my face.
    When I came home I was not sad, depressed as I normally am. I was determined. I made a vow today to change myself for the better.
    I’m 278.2 Ibs, 43.7% body fat. I’m going to change my life today.
    4/24/24
    EDIT 5/2/24:
    Dating this super nice girl after grinding for weeks. She's so amazing. Thanks man!
    EDIT 5/8/24:
    Yeah... dodged a bullet with that one. She was wayy too fast. Guess I'm back to the grind!
    EDIT: 6/14/24
    Summer has been going for some time. been working a job which involves me moving heavy stuff around, so that's some good movement throughout the day. I need to get back with my gym bro so we can start getting that summer shred on.
    Not much weight wise has changed, I still need to weigh myself, it's been awhile. But yeah! I'll be coming here time to time to keep updating this post for you guys. Reply to this whenever so I can be reminded of it, my memory sucks lol.
    EDIT: 9/3/24
    By popular demand, I'm updating this lol. Thanks for all being along for my life lol.
    Anyway, time for the meat of this update.
    Life has been great. I've started taking prescribed Adderall for my ADHD, and stuff has gotten much easier for me.
    I've been working out, though I've discovered my weight plateau is 290.2 Ibs, which means I can't physically go over that unless I totally gorge myself, which is good!
    I'm currently pushing my music career, trying to get some internships with some game companies. I know it's cheesy and cliche, but check out my UA-cam channel, I post original songs, some Friday Night Funkin' content (though I'm moving away from that community as a whole), and I have my twitter linked to it, which is where I'm sharing updates on a comic series me and my friend Joseph are developing!
    So yeah, life is going well, and I hope it's going well for all of you too. Sounds crazy, but I love you guys. Stay cool! ☮

    • @darak4771
      @darak4771 7 місяців тому +40

      Ill watch your story

    • @swiftie4lyfe
      @swiftie4lyfe 7 місяців тому +41

      YOU GOT THISSS

    • @Krookedsmiles
      @Krookedsmiles 7 місяців тому +18

      Hell yea dawg

    • @lib.777
      @lib.777 7 місяців тому +23

      Wow that’s amazing, I don’t even know you but i really do believe in you.

    • @Ash-kw9iq
      @Ash-kw9iq 7 місяців тому +16

      never stop little steps everyday

  • @RyanLaTourrette
    @RyanLaTourrette 7 місяців тому +295

    Hope you all have a great Sunday!!!!

    • @toastedavocado299
      @toastedavocado299 7 місяців тому +3

      You too bro :)

    • @TaurusTalkss
      @TaurusTalkss 7 місяців тому +2

      You too bro 🗿

    • @RyanLaTourrette
      @RyanLaTourrette 7 місяців тому

      @@toastedavocado299 yo you remember the Legend 27?

    • @mercedeslynn2884
      @mercedeslynn2884 7 місяців тому +1

      How’d you know id watch this on a Sunday 2w later 🤯🤯

  • @libihiti
    @libihiti 7 місяців тому +474

    There's this girl. She is amazing, I feel so comfortable around her. Smart, creative, compassionate, fun and so remarkable. But, I feel like I have way too much on my plate (exams, work commitments, etc) to start something. Part of me is scared I don't give her the time she deserves, IF she even feels the same, but I'm equally scared I miss out on the opportunity to be with someone like her.

    • @camthedingo9553
      @camthedingo9553 7 місяців тому +3

      I promise u if she actually digs u she will understand your schedule. And probably find it more attractive than a dude having all the time in the world

    • @Ben-qx1yw
      @Ben-qx1yw 7 місяців тому +145

      Talk to her bro. I felt the same way, just too focused on myself to introduce a girl into my busy life. But busyness can get lonely. If you feel like you found someone that can grow with you and be a helpmate and not a distraction, take the risk. That’s rare these days

    • @libihiti
      @libihiti 7 місяців тому +23

      @@Ben-qx1yw Is it working out for you? Do you have enough time for them and your daily commitments?

    • @peripheralvision9976
      @peripheralvision9976 7 місяців тому +73

      Relationships are commitments. They’re not meant to have a consistently increasing slope, there will at some point or another be certain things you have to overcome. If you really like this girl and fumbling her isn’t an option for you, tell her. Let her know that at the moment you can’t give her all you want to give, but that you intend to and are just facing obstacles. If the love is there, even if there’s some distance between you the attraction remains the same. If you genuinely have no way to make it work atm, still let her know. Like putting the rs on hold basically lol, for lack of better words. Point is, don’t overthink it too much. What’s meant to be will reach you even if it’s in the midst of two mountains, and what’s not meant for you won’t reach you even if it’s between your teeth. You know yourself and your situation best. Go with your gut on this.

    • @libihiti
      @libihiti 7 місяців тому +88

      @@peripheralvision9976 I did it. Told her how I felt and how I can't fully give all that I can for now, but in the near future. Thankfully she said yes! Thank you for your advice, my heart is so full.

  • @azuchenavlogs
    @azuchenavlogs 7 місяців тому +152

    i’ve had to apply this to friendships as well. learning to not share too much in order to make my own decisions without influence.

  • @shangojackson60
    @shangojackson60 7 місяців тому +333

    Honestly Shimon, you losing the thought created another good analogy. No one is ever always perfect, and in a lot of cases relationships arent perfect. but you were honest with us and yourself, communicated that and still moved forward. A lot of people, especially with your growth would cut that part out in favor of fake perfection. But you kept it in and still had confidence in this video because you still believe in the rest of the words in spite of the brain fart. Like in relationships, if something happens you should be honest with yourself and your partner about and of those slopes. The key is moving on with confidence in the relationship, when you bash it to outside people, youve lost the confidence of the relationship in yourself and want the validation of others.

    • @dilateddude6259
      @dilateddude6259 6 місяців тому +1

      that’s the type of things i’m here for, need to say

  • @JanMuench467
    @JanMuench467 7 місяців тому +266

    Great video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her

    • @ErikR.Sepulveda
      @ErikR.Sepulveda 7 місяців тому +11

      i have been in such a situation. i love my woman and unfortunately we separated about two years ago, but i could not let her go, so i had to do all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring her back, now we are back together, and i must say i am enjoying every moment.

    • @JanMuench467
      @JanMuench467 7 місяців тому +2

      wow, please how did you get a spiritual adviser, and how do i reach her?

    • @ErikR.Sepulveda
      @ErikR.Sepulveda 7 місяців тому +1

      Her name is queen stella laveaux ,and she is great at what she does. you can look her name up online and you will find all you need.

    • @JanMuench467
      @JanMuench467 7 місяців тому

      Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive

    • @Ipromiseyounobodyismad
      @Ipromiseyounobodyismad 7 місяців тому +62

      @@ErikR.Sepulvedayall are def both bots

  • @stuffthatsall
    @stuffthatsall 7 місяців тому +832

    You should do a video on friendship too, what a good one would look like, what a bad one looks like, and how to get out of one.

    • @helani107
      @helani107 7 місяців тому +14

      Fax

    • @BiancaJenkins-u6n
      @BiancaJenkins-u6n 7 місяців тому +14

      That would be a great topic!

    • @alexkane9380
      @alexkane9380 7 місяців тому +5

      agreed!!

    • @bigclitenergy
      @bigclitenergy 7 місяців тому +5

      yeah! ive been wanting to figure out how i can be a better friend and would love to hear a few points from shimon

  • @samsonparker-u9t
    @samsonparker-u9t 2 місяці тому +49

    She told everyone about our situations and it just felt like it was her friends talking through her instead of her talking about what she thought

    • @nathan.8
      @nathan.8 2 місяці тому +1

      realest comment i’ve seen

  • @dzesikaaa
    @dzesikaaa 7 місяців тому +549

    I just ended a 10 month relationship, bc of my bf. I told him i can't be in a toxic relationship,and i dont feel loved like i did before. He told me ''i treated you like this because i tought you would never leave me. Please don't leave me,i will change.'' And now i don't know if i will ever want to be in a relationship again, im scared of being treated like i am nothing again.

    • @dru5541
      @dru5541 7 місяців тому +115

      It sounded like your bf just said all that stuff to keep you to stay in a relationship where he felt in control, a relationship should never be one sided its good you got out when you did
      But if you are scared of getting into another relationship where you'll be treated the same then you should definitely wait a while, focus on yourself so that if your mind ever changes things will hopefully be better

    • @thewrathofdumbledore4867
      @thewrathofdumbledore4867 7 місяців тому +36

      Im sorry to hear that. I know about sociopathic behaviour very well as I have dealt with symptoms of male patheticy, as I have some of them. I wan't you to know that YOU DID INCREADIBLE dealing with it. recognizing his behaviour early on means that YOU ARE SO ready to find somebody special, because that power to escape from such a personality is something almost NOBODY can do. for now, take a while off dating for your own sake, you have dealt with something Awful noone should go through. you might be scared, but know there are many good guys out there, and with your ability to recognize such tendencies I KNOW you will do great! good luck onward and I hope you will feel better

    • @nevergiveupbaby1720
      @nevergiveupbaby1720 7 місяців тому

      @@dru5541which is what men do very often

    • @ibrokemyownheart4953
      @ibrokemyownheart4953 7 місяців тому +9

      You endured 10 months with an awful person. You will meet someone better that will treat you better. You deserve better. Take some time in healing yourself and when you’re ready you can be emotionally available

    • @winnumber101
      @winnumber101 7 місяців тому +6

      some people would never treat you this way--he really believed that he could take advantage of you

  • @TJ-oi5cr
    @TJ-oi5cr 7 місяців тому +208

    If you ever write a book, imma be the first to buy it 🙏

    • @dilateddude6259
      @dilateddude6259 6 місяців тому +3

      i feel like video is more suitable format, actually, like you feel like you’re sitting next to your best friend and talk about life and things, i’ve had that friend and that’s almost exactly how it feels

  • @ryderrex101
    @ryderrex101 5 місяців тому +70

    i love how he says all of this in the moment and instead of having a script he just says what he knows to be true, and it’s all facts.

  • @amaro_0091
    @amaro_0091 6 місяців тому +181

    "but there's beauty and imperfection, and im human"

  • @sshiiaa
    @sshiiaa 5 місяців тому +110

    “You call yourself ugly, because some one else called you ugly”
    Hi, my name is Shia
    I’m a young Asian female who is currently 13 years old and if you think about those typical Asian scenarios, my family is like that. When I was younger (I’m still young but like.. yeah) my mother who is very… let’s say, judgmental, used to always say, “why are you so ugly?”. I remember this one memory when I was in trouble for doing something (I forgot for what but I knew I was in trouble) and I walked into her and she stared at me for a good 10 seconds and finally said, “why are you so ugly?” and then walked away. I was standing there so shocked and stunned thinking about, “ugly? Me?” I said “huh” as in disbelief and kinda chuckled. Later on in that day I kept thinking about the incident and as I was growing up I was always insecure about my looks and still am to this day. Whenever I see her it became a habit to look “good” or at least presentable (still is happening to this day) I always become so… petrified? frozen? scared? I can’t quite describe it but I have this feeling as in I could drop dead and she’d just say, “she’s even ugly when she’s dead.” It’s probably not common for someone as young as me to be thinking this way but this was the way I grew up. My mother is currently 50 and I still care about my looks. That’s why whenever someone compliments me on my looks I sincerely take the compliment to heart and love them. Looking back at past pictures of myself the only things I can see is flaws and even when I look at pictures of myself now, I just see a scrawny little Asian girl who has seriously uneven chinky eyes. (My eyes are unbelievably chinky, which kinda means small but thin. Search it up) because of my monolids I never really considered my eyes a pretty feature on my face. I wanna learn to love myself but don’t know where to start.
    Dear mom,
    I don’t know why but I have this strange feeling love but resentment toward you. I wish you could tell me at least once about how pretty I look instead of criticizing me. I’m ugly because of the genes you gave me… you gave me the bad genes and blame me. I love you, but I also hate you.

    • @1lovebaking
      @1lovebaking 5 місяців тому +4

      Damn.

    • @vaseline240
      @vaseline240 5 місяців тому +6

      girl u shooked me, I hope you can get out of this

    • @mmiaxyz
      @mmiaxyz 5 місяців тому +4

      hey. if you ever need someone to talk to more, I'm here. you aren't alone.

    • @joshywoods
      @joshywoods 4 місяці тому +5

      Thank you, your story helped me realize the only reason I'm still doubting myself and feeling insecure is because someone else made me believe it. I know that it's not true. You can do it.

  • @bacondagger
    @bacondagger 7 місяців тому +70

    You are so right about being careful with dating and friendship bundles... what I got from your example was that people you think who are your friends or who you think are her friends may try to get in between your relationship. Love is a battleground where people do all sorts of things to get with who they want, be that your partner or even you. When youre in a moment of vulnerability, its so hard to tell what the friends are thinking when they give the advice or comments that they do...

  • @miraclegirl687
    @miraclegirl687 7 місяців тому +79

    "Never let one action blind you to the countless moments of kindness they have shown you." What he is trying to convey and he did it so well man… -3:22

  • @puIsaar
    @puIsaar 3 місяці тому +25

    i think the worst part about losing your first love is not only is it your first heartbreak but it’s the first kick in face that you got some shit to fix for the next person. It ain’t easy but it’ll all be worth h it

  • @madslappers5913
    @madslappers5913 7 місяців тому +107

    proud to be apart of the tribe. ❤

    • @BellinoChanelao
      @BellinoChanelao 7 місяців тому

      heck yes with that pfp you are surely on my same situation

  • @ShowtimeYikes
    @ShowtimeYikes 7 місяців тому +18

    About your analogy, I interpreted as it showing the perpetual and generational state of unhappiness and unfulfillment in relationships. You don't want their ignorance to real, organic relationships to affect your relationships and how you conduct them. Sad to see many people not know what happiness feels like in relationships because I'm sure it can be easy but they're often so unaware of how to cope in these scenarios, it cripples both them and their partner. Regardless, you shouldn't let these standards influence the relationships you cultivate or let these people into your lives.

  • @SipLikeKermit
    @SipLikeKermit 7 місяців тому +49

    Amazes me how uncut yet real your videos are, keep it up!

  • @jakub2524
    @jakub2524 7 місяців тому +39

    Im single from today... I feel lil better after that vid, thank you❤️

  • @masonidler268
    @masonidler268 7 місяців тому +58

    I love that u keep it all as one clip and don’t edit out when u get sidetracked. I do the same shit all the time when I’m trying to make a point, often times never coming back to it lol

  • @LeviShahShah
    @LeviShahShah Місяць тому +3

    This guy seems so chill. I’ve never seen him before but he seems so chill and relaxed. I think everybody would want to meet him.

  • @Toast_Host69
    @Toast_Host69 7 місяців тому +36

    Never been in a relationship but I think that is a really good preparation Thank you

  • @AzaTinto
    @AzaTinto 7 місяців тому +159

    Finally, someone who actually cares for us, not someone who only cares about our wallets like andrew tate, I wish you the best man.

  • @basilhenry-eyo6522
    @basilhenry-eyo6522 3 місяці тому +6

    This is true, this why there is that saying that states "keep your accomplishments and relationships private beucase people love to ruin good things"!

  • @Reversemotion20
    @Reversemotion20 7 місяців тому +90

    Timing couldn’t have been any better im asking her out tomorrow

  • @fettugenie749
    @fettugenie749 6 місяців тому +4

    communication is so important. understanding what your partner wants and needs is essential for making a relationship with them work. i recommend y’all ask y’all’s next partners these questions:
    1. what do you want/need in a partner?
    2. what do you need to allow others space in your life?
    3. why do you want a relationship?
    these are also great things to ask yourself. knowing what expectations you have for what kind of a man, woman, or person you want is so huge. it helps you raise your standards and know your self worth.

  • @fillo1762
    @fillo1762 7 місяців тому +8

    I just found out your channel and man woah, you're a good guy, an older brother that tries to help other out, I really wish you all the best for your future and may God bless you brother

  • @Chirpilee
    @Chirpilee 4 місяці тому +20

    I feel like there should be a disclaimer that if you are in a toxic/abusive relationship then you 100% should talk to friends and family about it for support. Some people are really good at gaslighting/manipulating you into thinking that issues in the relationship are normal when they are not. Of course I would never advise you to talk badly or insult your partner to your friends, but if they hurt you it helps to seek support.

  • @Oldpeachyqueen
    @Oldpeachyqueen 7 місяців тому +11

    Not only can 1:03 this happen to a relationship but it can happen with anyone even family, especially parents.😄

  • @kaidenperkins53
    @kaidenperkins53 Місяць тому +2

    I just got out of a relationship and this helped it feel better and worse at the same time thank you for making me realise that I needed to focus on things that I had a problem with and that them not doing anything to change that when I did ask them to is not okay

  • @deariez_me6484
    @deariez_me6484 6 місяців тому +4

    I'm not going to lie, this video hit. This video actually hits me with everything going on with my life, and it taught me a lesson. This lesson may resonate with a lot of people, but this video actually taught me a lesson. Recently in my life, my friend has been going through some pretty shitty things in her life. i've never dated, but all I know is that he's been treating her pretty badly for a long time. Recently, he's been manipulating her and telling her not to be friends with us. He told her not to talk to people when he disregarded her own words. i love her a lot, bc she was there for me in a really bad time. I could never let her be hurt, and I made her man promise him at the start that if he ever made her feel horrible, I'd be someone to hate him, and I hate no one. But ofc he did. Of course, I scolded him a lot recently for it. But after that, I found out something about him. Me and my friend both did. He hurts himself.....to get her attention. He really likes attention, he loves her attention. And it's not normal but he's obsessed with her in a sense. However, the more I watch this video, the more I feel like an external force. Of course, I never want my friend to be in a bad position, but I feel bad for butting in. This video really came to me during this time. And I'm grateful but.....I really don't know how to feel about it. She was going through an abyss of hell and she needed someone. I think your point stands, however, if it really goes to an extreme level, I think having external factors is okay. Only if it goes to that extreme. However, you made me realise that being an external factor means I don't know everything, I probably only know the bad side. And that made me realise stuff. Thank you for bringing me to this realisation.

  • @SarahPaints132
    @SarahPaints132 7 місяців тому +14

    This is a very hard thing, because you have to be careful that your partner is not manipulating you. Those of us who have been abused really need to take time to heal from the parts that are hyper vigilant because that will cause more strife with both people.

  • @orangeguy496
    @orangeguy496 Місяць тому +2

    I think what you were trying to say with the some of the people in your town having swingers for parents is that many people in life don't and can't always share the same perspective in relationships to such an extent where they can't form a "normal" or "healthy" relationship. It can be tough because not everyone shares the same ideals/norms of life, which eventually will cause issues, but can have a loveable and true personality.

  • @danco8167
    @danco8167 2 місяці тому +1

    “You call yourself ugly, because some one else called you ugly” It hit me so hard i almost teared up.

  • @woodentable47
    @woodentable47 7 місяців тому +12

    Im about to try my first relationship. This really helped, and that ship analogy was AMAZING

  • @skyythepacifist
    @skyythepacifist 4 місяці тому +3

    growing up i really struggled with my own sense of self having my siblings practically raise me and then take off when it was time for them to grow up and leave, i was conflicted constantly and never thought for myself. until i realized no one would understand me better than myself. it’s definitely a learning curve. thank you for being vulnerable. ❤

  • @Teresab-e4b
    @Teresab-e4b Місяць тому +1

    Why did he actually make it sound soo comforting ❤like.....what ??❤😊, "I'm human " man whatever he said ima about to go tell mu cousin no cap .❤❤😊😊

  • @infiniteskyeofficial
    @infiniteskyeofficial 7 місяців тому +12

    You’re my new fucking favorite creator. You’ve got so much experience and it shows, thank you for sharing it from your past and pain with us. It don’t matter how bad you screw up an analogy or whatever, you just speak the truth

  • @natashie._.
    @natashie._. 2 місяці тому +4

    I sent this to my friend because at the moment she is looking for a relationship, and she told me to fuck off and shrugged it off. People should really understand the importance of being in a relationship. It's not easy to deal with conflicts and problems, and what really hurt me is that she asked me to give advice to her, and she won't take it. Other then that, this video is very inspirational and effective. God bless you.

  • @astrohavoc8241
    @astrohavoc8241 6 місяців тому +6

    I just got out of a serious relationship with someone really close to me, and it took. Them finally giving me a wake up call too late to mend the broken words. And this video hits hella deep, and more then the truth. The deeper meaning between the words, true peace comes from within. You need to heal fully, before going to commit to something so serious.

  • @BOTWfan69403
    @BOTWfan69403 2 місяці тому +5

    Just something I wanted to add. If you’re going through a rough time in a relationship (like an extreme amount) then you should tell your friends, cuz real friends will see how to fix the problem and fake ones will tell you to leave immediately. Also if you’re doing something like playing games with the boys don’t leave/drop everything just cuz your girl said to do so, it’s straight up abusive to do that. (Tell you to leave that is). Make sure to make time with the boys too.

  • @cvjunior0305
    @cvjunior0305 24 дні тому +1

    I hate that im a jealous person. Theres a girl I love with my whole heart and all i ever wanted to do was make her happy. I messed up a couple times and our relationship changed from then on. A little while later she started talking to this new guy and I hated him for it. I dont even know the guy and yet I wanted him gone because I cant stand the thought of her with someone else. As her friend I just wanna see her happy but that jealousy I have wont let me. Were on a break from talking with one another rn but im working on myself because I want to be better for her. Even if her and I never have another romantic arc, I just want my friend back. She means everything to me

  • @Prettythinker
    @Prettythinker 6 днів тому

    "the world is always trying to tear you up from what you love" damn.

  • @MuraSF
    @MuraSF 5 місяців тому +2

    He's just said things that been on my mind even tho i've never been into any relationships, but hearing right and smart things from another person always feels so good iykyk. Thank u

  • @littlebodybrightlight
    @littlebodybrightlight 29 днів тому

    I feel your pain at the end there. I hate it when I have good advice and completely lose track of how I was going about saying it, but I like that your content is rawer. No cuts, no BS, it genuinely feels like you and I are in the same room having a conversation because that is so real.

  • @BowieMelody-gj5jt
    @BowieMelody-gj5jt 3 місяці тому +1

    I adore your ability to speak so objectively and eloquently about those topics. I really needed that.

  • @ClySaga
    @ClySaga 7 місяців тому +6

    I gotta say I love this channel. Very peaceful, good advice and kind community. I’m happy I found y’all ❤

  • @cherloundab.9987
    @cherloundab.9987 19 днів тому

    I absolutely appreciate how raw that part about you losing your trend of thought is😊 It makes the content even more so relatable

  • @Surge-Shift
    @Surge-Shift 2 місяці тому +2

    Told my boy in confidence that I was lonely now whenever we get into a dispute he brings it up idc if he’s joking it hurts cuz I told him cuz I trusted bro and then he does that? Never again haven’t told him anything deep since I honestly mirror his feelings back to him which is “idgaf how u feel” this is how u lose bonds people don’t do that I promise u ur friend won’t look at u the same

  • @Sl33plessness
    @Sl33plessness 6 місяців тому +3

    im 19, i haven't dated anyone well over a year. your video did help me realize some things, I've bashed my ex's many times for the pain and extreme trauma they put me through. one of my ex's who delt me the worse, physically and mentally. I'm friends with him because he changed. he wants to take me on a date on my birthday and while i care about him, i fear it'll all happen again, and i came to terms with the fact that I'm not in love with him, i do find myself missing his warm hand sometimes but I KNOW it that's not love, that's me missing what a warm hand feels like. it won't work. I'm not angry at him anymore, i told him i broke up with him because i needed him to understand things more, to be more mature and understand what he did. im proud of him, hes grown well and i hope both of us keep growing even if we never get back together. i want him to be happy. i didn't date him for his looks i dated him because i loved his heart. and despite me having low self-esteem. it's extremely low though I've gotten better with it. he thought out of everyone i was the prettiest, he protected me whenever i got bullied too, i had never seen such a thing and over time my feelings grew. him and i are young and though he fucked up badly, he grew, we grew. that's what i hoped for him. i still care for him and i always will. no relationship is perfect..., these are things ive learned.

  • @Baerisings
    @Baerisings Місяць тому

    "you call yourself ugly because someone else called you ugly"
    Ngl this resonates so much with me because I've been called ugly by people I used to like and I still haven't fully recovered yet. I know that I've changed but a part of me still won't accept myself and how i look. Killed my confidence a lot and now I can't even talk to anyone new normally because of it. It sucks

  • @DevinGunn
    @DevinGunn 5 місяців тому +1

    Despite you losing sight of your point, you looking back to see how that related to what you were saying was an impactful metaphor in itsself, its the part of the video that hits you the hardest- the hair started standing up on my arms. You perfectly demonstrated that, you need to stop and self reflect on yourself in a relationship, because you can get trapped in the looking forward so much that you can't see what's happening around yourself. This was beautiful. You, in this aesthetic with talk that's real and your approach to teaching as well as learning, is beautiful. I went over your points in my head saying that I already knew them and thought about the words you'd say next, knowing I- at one time- had thought them myself. The most impactful part was you looking back on where you had been going, that was the biggest lesson I needed to have known within my last relationship, may she rest in peace, two years of a relationship ending with her death in a car crash two and a half weeks prior to me finding this, as well as sending this message. I pray that everyone here take in the words that are being said in this video, because they are truly valuable lessons you'd have to learn the hard way eventually. As I once did.

  • @Kneecaps-007
    @Kneecaps-007 7 місяців тому +26

    good advice but i don’t plan on dating anytime soon

  • @shelovenikk
    @shelovenikk 5 місяців тому +1

    This is actually what ruined one of my closest relationships and I feel like while it might've been the right thing to do, I still wish I was able to keep it in house as you said. This is something I definitely needed to hear and I'm glad that you are trying to give advice on this especially WITH experience so that it doesn't sound like you don't know what you're talking about. Thank you for making this video man, much love and I hope you have a blessed day and so on.

  • @Drodz1030
    @Drodz1030 3 місяці тому +3

    This is so damn real my previous relationship ended prolly cause of these exact reasons because she used to talk horrible about me to her friend who was also supposed to be my friend which caused a lot of trouble and led to an eventual end of the relationship. I’m not innocent tho I’ve talked bad about her to one of my friends when I was upset and I regret that because it forever changed that persons perspective on her and you know sometimes you just gotta realize how much influence your words have on other people especially to people who trust you.

  • @Mvtherrat
    @Mvtherrat 3 місяці тому

    this is why i appreciate communication, its so important to solve ur issues together instead of complaining to other people.

  • @Snopdogdad
    @Snopdogdad 6 місяців тому +1

    I love the first note “not talking bad about each-other” simply a small thing of words with so much meaning , I mean it allows for each-other to grow and learn about it each-other , instead of arguing with each-other , learn from each-other and become better people all together .

  • @FLMANNNNNN
    @FLMANNNNNN 6 місяців тому +7

    My girlfriend can’t really work up the ‘courage’ to even talk to me at school, compliment me face to face, take a compliment or anything face to face related. I told her if she won’t talk to me at school but she will with others and won’t take compliments at school or generally have a nice conversation with me even if it’s brief, to not text me if she can’t do those things face to face, I told her how I felt and I reminded her how much I loved her. Am I the bad guy?

    • @LoveHestia_
      @LoveHestia_ 18 днів тому

      No doesn't make you a bad guy, you clearly stated your feelings due to circumstances. Maybe try having a sit down conversation with her about these things and why you feel the way you do. Good luck 👍🏻

  • @tyler6065
    @tyler6065 5 місяців тому +1

    I really wish I knew you in person bro. You seem like such a chill and down to earth guy who gives such a great perspective. Keep doing what you’re doing brother!

  • @Jahtoowavyy
    @Jahtoowavyy 7 місяців тому +2

    Man your videos always seem to help in those certain times when you need it brother !

  • @SnowyDreamer
    @SnowyDreamer 6 місяців тому

    The conversation I needed. Nothing scripted, no insanely overly edited stuff, no obviously fake crying, no sugarcoating. Just a 100% real talk about reality. It's as if i was sitting there with you just listening and that made me feel so much better.

  • @MarioHernandezII-q3l
    @MarioHernandezII-q3l 23 дні тому

    life sucks but videos like this and God help with my perspective on life.

  • @xboxhearts
    @xboxhearts 5 місяців тому +1

    thank you a lot for this video, I got done with a breakup months ago but I’m still confused why everything happened. I realized I made it way to public and told my friends every time something bad happened and made my ex look like the worst person ever. I feel really bad for that. my friends started to say she was the worst person and I believed in them despite all of the times she was there was me. I was a really bad girlfriend it was my first time being in an actual relationship but still. I let my friend who I only the negatives to influence me instead of simply communicating with my actual partner. I feel bad but I feel more understanding about our past relationship so thank you, thank you a lot. 🙏🙏

  • @complexsonicz9239
    @complexsonicz9239 4 місяці тому +2

    The meaning I got from that one point you made about the children of the swingers was that you can observe something from the outside, make assumptions and think its weird but...at the end of the day you don't really know their situation and getting in on drama type stuff might harm those people.
    I was thinking that this tied in with keeping your relationship private because just like drama about others may harm them, letting other people in on what you have with your girl will harm what you have with her. And that whatever people think of your relationship isn't yours to own and that they never really know what's going on behind the scenes.

  • @brittintven5782
    @brittintven5782 Місяць тому

    You bring so much peace and calmness with you.

  • @Gameboy...
    @Gameboy... 7 місяців тому +6

    its like god sent me ur video, i was just taking advice from lots of people on what i should do with my situationship and i wasnt very happy with what i was hearing

  • @bree.danielle
    @bree.danielle 5 місяців тому +2

    you is speaking facts bro, i really needed to hear this, and know that someone else thinks the exact same as i do.

  • @nateshaff7297
    @nateshaff7297 6 місяців тому +2

    The way you think is exactly how I think and feel and it’s so crazy I appreciate your videos so much you make me feel so understood and heard

  • @thebeefaugh
    @thebeefaugh 7 місяців тому +1

    You’re like an ancient greek philosopher in the modern day, love you

  • @naomiwebb7832
    @naomiwebb7832 Місяць тому +1

    thank you for keeping the part in where you messed up because that’s literally how a lot of my conversations with myself go and i feel dumb. seeing it happen to u tho made me feel a lot more normal so thank u. also ur a genius keep making videos forever pls!!

  • @heheno4206
    @heheno4206 6 місяців тому +2

    This made me cry. Besides the relationship thing its that outside influences and him telling me how it affects someone and that touched my heart♥️😣. People always wanna mention the bad people always are negative they’ll never bring up the good idk why people hate good idk why people never mention the good its just crazy and dont ever say there is no good in life there is its just never shown as much anymore

  • @flapjacks4947
    @flapjacks4947 4 місяці тому

    This is genuinely good advice, some of the people you trust the most will do you dirty. Just because you told them what’s going on within your relationship. Try and work on it privately, not openly.

  • @deepnostalgia6036
    @deepnostalgia6036 6 місяців тому +1

    Hey man, there is absolutely no pressure in reshooting a video if you get lost in thought. Ik deadlines are apart of staying in business, but never feel like you have to rush and push out an incomplete thought. I really appreciate you and your words of wisdom. Keep going strong, and may God be with you 🫡

  • @stergacha9435
    @stergacha9435 2 місяці тому

    i used to trust him with my whole heart and i used to tell him EVERYTHING. When we argued he mentioned my insecurity that i told no one. After that day,i decided it was the end of trusting him THAT much.I barely tell him anything about what happened,i barely tell him about my day and i feel much safer and comfortable keeping it that way.

  • @donovanbrice5258
    @donovanbrice5258 6 місяців тому +2

    Chocolate covered strawberries on the dawgs is wild bruh but i fw the message😭🙏🏾

  • @YuzokoYikes
    @YuzokoYikes Місяць тому +1

    I love your reactions and advice so much ❤️ love the 'blah blah blah' stuff.
    Your advice always helps me, i really did cry when i watched this because it hurts so much knowing the truth and that the situation im in isnt the best, but im also releaved. I love knowing whats true and having a lead when im in situations like this. Thank you, genuinely, thank you.

  • @shierblock9173
    @shierblock9173 2 місяці тому +1

    Tysm man that was a really wise advice and i ll consider to take that advise cuz damn man you are so right, the relationships is about 2 ppl not what your friends or your mother or father thinks about that

  • @PerhapsNene
    @PerhapsNene 2 місяці тому +2

    He's so right on the grimy and slimey part. My "friend" heard that I had a crush and she never interacted with him until I told her that. She tried to get with him and flirt n everything, but I'm happy he noticed what she was doing. I honestly was gonna let it happen because I'd rather see her happy than me, and that's kind of bad.(mind u she tries to get with almost anyone when they say they have a crush/breakup. She was nice to me but that was it for me.)

  • @justkawaiicat1090
    @justkawaiicat1090 17 днів тому

    The hardest part of relationships is finding somebody open and emotionally mature, my peers tell me to get in a relationship but it feels most around me are confused which holds me back. I think that also the ending of a relationship especially since I’ve had many hard endings I have grown to not to talk down of those who do talk about me. I enjoy telling those around me how careful you can be to spend you energy and peace on. because sometimes even the people you love dearly that you shouldn’t revolve your life around them. Being your own person is so important, and being able to balance that with a deep relationship seems very skillful. Idk I’m in high school so it feels hard to meet people who have collected themselves enough in certain ways.

  • @HoldenDannie
    @HoldenDannie Місяць тому

    I’ve never been in a relationship, I feel like every time I am almost there and I can almost feel it. And I realize it won’t work out. And it really sucks falling in and out of love, and sometimes I have to force myself out of love for the best. Stay strong you guys

  • @jamesgoetz4643
    @jamesgoetz4643 4 місяці тому

    Gossip is the destroyer of any kind of relationship with anyone!

  • @Alezyer
    @Alezyer 3 місяці тому

    It's nice to watch these videos feeling really good about yourself, so you get more excited that you can improve yourself even further.

  • @jd3006
    @jd3006 7 місяців тому +1

    Thank you for being real, Shimon.

  • @TheyHateLou
    @TheyHateLou Місяць тому

    this dude speaking straight facts, needed this g thanks.

  • @yayeet5725
    @yayeet5725 2 місяці тому +1

    bro you're such a g man , awesome , wise words that gettin me thru this random ass breakup that came up on as-usually-usual saturday , sum 18 months was wasted but it is what is is , gotta keep swimming now

  • @Majinmmm
    @Majinmmm 7 місяців тому +2

    Bro you basically explained the issues i had in my last relationship with my ex-fiance.

  • @MYSTI_SYKO505
    @MYSTI_SYKO505 2 місяці тому +1

    As someone who only went through horrible relationships, i never talk about them negativly, and i always try my best to tell my partner how i feel, im scared of dating now because of my previous experiences, but after this video and after this video i actually feel a little better

  • @LuhKilla_
    @LuhKilla_ 6 місяців тому +1

    thank you man. I sadly ruined my chance with the girl of my dreams not long ago man because I bashed her behind her back because I was so hurt and immature and now she is hurt and can't heal and I want to help. but that's why I'm here. to learn.

  • @painttheskyy
    @painttheskyy 7 місяців тому +3

    God bless u young man...ur doing amazing things for the Lord...u definitely helped me n so many others...stand in ur truth n authenticity.

  • @Zenn3068
    @Zenn3068 6 місяців тому

    Bro ir videos have helped me mature so much in the last 6 months im like a whole new person i just finished school im getting extra hours i stopped being a freak im doing so good right now

  • @some1else688
    @some1else688 3 місяці тому +2

    Dang i watched this video too late. My very first love broke up with me over some issues and it was even the same month as the first time we met. Ik I'm guilty but he's just as guilty not telling me he was loosing feelings and the reasons why. Our whole relationship was built on love and one of the most important, communication. But he screwed up not communicating anything to me, where i would've listened and fixed myself, but he just didn't.
    2 weeks and a few days later, i still long for him, miss him, love him. But its so hard when he's giving all the attention he used to give to me, to a new girl he just met, he doesn't like her in that way, but still. He has no more attention for me. Its all for that girl.
    Let this be a lesson guys.
    PLEASE if you feel like u want to end a relationship, communicate. Communication is key, talk it out, ur problems , listen to each other, and try to fix ur mistakes. I'm so depressed these days at school and i wish i could go back in time to fix bad habits. If they're a good person, pls pls pls keep them. My Owen was so good, and I let him slip away... I love you Owen ❤

  • @cashmunycoop
    @cashmunycoop Місяць тому

    Just got my first girlfriend a week ago bruh I needed this. You’re doing great work man I appreciate it so much