I haven't watched the video, but this doesn't sound right. You can and should heal in public too. People should be more public about their woes - then people wouldn't feel so alone in our modern slave work era.
Honestly this at 30 I'm still working on and truly it's because some of us don't have balance for some there's been more lovelessness then love and acceptance so out of fear it becomes almost like an unrealistic control of how we want to be wanted by others or that someone but I say unrealistic because you can't control the way you are valued this world Is certainly not even
I Remember being in Marching Band in high school. We went to Band of America (to preform the marching show ‘Artworks’) and we didn’t place super high, we weren’t able to Polish up the ending before hand, and we knew we could of done better, but all the audience was doing was Cheering. When we came up to the seats, they were chanting ‘red, yellow, blue, green’ over and over, (based on the dance break Sequence were everyone chants those colors repeatedly and we do a little dance, words can’t do it justice) all I’m saying is they didn’t care we didn’t do amazing by our standards, they just saw what was there-a fun show.
another one i live by for romance is "you cant convince someone to love you by giving more of what they already don't appreciate" good luck everyone and remember, you are worth it!
@@saltminer4463 I wasn't really talking about liberals either, but conservative states are filled with old people, where you will get hate crimes for simply wearing a pride pin on your hat (atleast where I live, west virginia is a shit state for the most part)
This dude is actually gonna clutch up this generation. Most older men are js making garbage how to get laid content. Like jelqing, mewing whatever the fck. This dude is genuinely honest and real.
@@GoatSimpulator Their opinions and how they treat you will never be something you can control. People who thrive in hostile environments thrive by knowing they are something else, and that their immediate surroundings don't determine them. People might treat you wrong, even sometimes without ill intent. You cannot be determined by that. So listen to what they're telling you, but then think for yourself. Take in data, analyse, determine what's useful, and dispose of the rest. Sometimes, they'll have things you can use to understand yourself. Sometimes they don't know sh*t so whatever they say or do can't matter at all. Sometimes they'll have advice for something that just doesn't apply to you, and doesn't align with your personal goals. Like hell, I suck at hunting. It isn't a problem for me, I don't hunt to eat and it was never part of my goals. So no matter how many times people insult my inability to hunt I won't feel the least worried or diminished. Similarly, *when you know who you are and where you want to go, then you will decide what gets to you.* That's why "judging yourself with their opinions" makes no sense.
@@Kiwi_DeFruit Wow that's quite a paragraph lol but sound advice my dude, thank you... I'm just saying if you are a person who tries to value other people's opinions, it sucks when their opinion of you isn't favorable for some reason you can't change (people thinking they can go over or back me down easily simply because of my height or size). I don't like constant confrontation but I'm also not one to back down from aggression so my life is filled with drama.
“there’s artwork everywhere, some people don’t like this artwork but go put it in another museum people will worship it” 1:57 those are some beautiful words❤
“You are just looking at yourself from the eyes of other people and that is corrupt.” Man, thank you for that statement 😭🙏🏿. I really! Appreciate this 🙌🏾
Rejection is protection. Being rejected by someone who would've simply used and abused u had u been attractive in "their" eyes is a blessing! Trust God's wisdom in your creation.
The positive male role model the internet actually needs. No toxicity, no belittling, just straight facts and positivity! And his advice can be applied by everyone! Keep doing what you're doing bro! Love this!
As an Asain male, I thought always looked unattractive. I hear people around me always tell me I have an amazing smile. But the more I look in the mirror at myself, the more confident I am in the way my face looks! Attraction will come naturally when it's the right person.
I have the exact opposite thing, my resting bitch face (I'm a Latvian) look solid, don't wanna be that guy but for sure above average, but seeing my smile makes me get rid of it.
As a person of color I find Asian men to be extremely attractive. I've grown up seeing a lot of girls dissing Asian men,but know there are some gems out there who aren't like that and find yall attractive
i’m 25 and i’ve been single my whole life while people around me are coupling up, so my self esteem and mood have been really shit. this came at such a perfect time that i couldn’t help but cry. thank you for your words and the motivation. i will work on bettering myself while learning to be kinder to myself.
Everybody's path is different. We might've been placed in the same environment in daycare and taught the same stuff in high school. But once you become an adult, you look around you, and everyone else starts separating from you and forging their own path in life. It's so, so difficult to really implement into your life. But there is really no strict blueprint for how one should live their life, no matter how much we're conditioned in childhood. You don't have to have a romantic partner at a certain milestone. You can go look for it if it's what you really want, but you have to look out for yourself first and foremost. Don't feel pressured to get into a relationship just because everyone else around you is in one. Let it happen when it's supposed to happen.
I figured this out when I realized I was attracted to traits that societal consensus deemed as 'ugly'. People have different tastes, and beauty is in everything
@@truemori6700you’re beautiful, courageous, caring, thoughtful, and loving, I’m so sorry you haven’t had that special day, but just know I love you. This life can be so hard sometimes, I know how hard it may be to get out of bed in the morning, to feel unappreciated. But I appreciate you, you’re struggling, and that’s okay, you’re so much stronger than you think. We’re all here for you. I love you! ❤️
A world of everyone being attractive to everyone else would be a nightmare. We already see relationships broken over infidelity with some of the ugliest people I've ever seen in my life.
THANK YOUUUUU. No one understands when i say i do my makeup and dress nice and do my hair everyday for MYSELF. I really could not care less what someone on the street thinks of me, it just makes ME feel good when I look good.
social media conditions us to believe we are ugly, they come up with new insecurities to make people feel shame every 5 business days. social media detox is important.
@@mil-kw9ziit affects people with overconsumption but it depends on what you use it for, some people base their whole life on social media. Then there’s others that use it for interests hobbies, entertainment or learning purposes.
Seriously though. Get out of your house and just go do something else for a few days. Book the cheapest hostel in a town nearby, go walk in the woods. It helps a lot.
I dont use social media much at all and only really use UA-cam reviews, vids like this and some gaming channels and yet I still see those perfect models and streamers pop up all the time anyways. I see them everywhere in movies and shows. There is no escape and even knowing everyone has different taste and types doesnt help. There is no niche set of people whod find me attractive and never will be, there is no being happy unless id magically be one of those perfect people everyone loves. Im glad other people can come to terms and be confident despite it but not all of can or have reasons to be happy with a body that I cant stand being in🤷♂️
i’ve been crying for about an hour just because of how ugly and lonely i feel and this video made my tears dry up. really made me realize that i needed to stop looking for validation from others ❤
@@acidicsoul4978That's maybe a nice try to lighten the day of someone but tbh the person does not want to hear that because for them their focus is elsewhere, all you say is "Stop complaining there are african children that are starving." That's not the point, just because someone sufferes more doesnt mean that you have problems that you see as something big
No lie your videos actually have helped me i stopped watching porn i started working out i started focusing on myself i started to stop overthinking about everything i finally could of talked to people without being scared Thank you so much shimon for your help
This is a beautiful response. I just found your video @askshimon, and I must say... very calm, cool, collected and wise words. I hope they help many many others. 💫
He gives me such Bob Ross vibes. He speaks so gentle and informatively. Edit: do not associate this comment with race because race has nothing to do with it. Bob Ross was a legend + a lovely gentleman, and this guy evokes the same aura in my opinion. Please don’t get offended by this comparison.
i really enjoyed the pep talk. Even though i already realized being focused on dating culture is not healthy, and how sexualizing everything isn't healthy, this genuinely was still more helpful than any other video about "men suicide more" and "dating sucks". none of that, just "be the best you"
Great video Shimon! I would like to mention some book that you haven't mentioned and its for Insecure Americans. So, its called CrushAnyGirl and its for finding a gf as Insecure American. After reading, you will have a better perspective on girls, and find your gf in thirty days guaranteed Highly recommended to read
" when you find someone for you, you do not have to play games. It is harder for you to get RID of them, than it is to make them like you". Wow, I had to listen to it multiple times, the make sure I got it right. I never thought about this.
Someone who likes you will like you as you are - you wont have to put on a facade to impress them. And it’s harder to get rid of them because if you realize you guys might not meant to be, they’ll be reluctant to leave you because they like you as a person and don’t wanna lose you.
This right here arrived on my feed at THE most perfect time in my recent life. Much love for making this vid man, good reminder to keep my head up and wear the crown, it aint about how others think but what's within you and your qualities 👑🙏
Every man and woman needs to hear this. Can't stress it enough. Me and my fiance have been together 9 years. We are inseparable. Completely effortless and blissful. And the secret sauce is we've never had to be anyone other than ourselves.
Plus working together even if it get's hard. Every lastig relationship went through at least one huge crisis together. And not breaking up over stupid nonsense
9 years together and still not married, mf that’s not a fiancé that’s a concubine 💀 be surprised if that shit lasted another few years idk how she ain’t fed up with your non commitment
Hey, you got any advice about 'shooting your shot'? I'm in Middle School and there is this girl I really like that I am really good friends with but don't have enough confidence to shoot my shot. As you said, you have been together for 9 years, so you must have some advice, and that would mean a lot. If you see this, thank you in advance.
@@braydenkaiser33I'm in middle school too and I have had this problem alot before I met my boyfriend who I've been with for almost a year. I recommend just be yourself and tell your brain to shut up and go with it. It's not easy but it's helpful, do your best to calm down your nerves beforehand. If she says yes, awesome. If she says no, that's okay too just remember to heal and focus on your growth as a person. As you said that you and her are friends, just act as you normally would (If that means being yourself, if you can't be yourself around someone then they aren't for you) I hope this helps, goodluck))
@@solus8685 haha I feel you on that. There are definitely days where it's the opposite for me. I'm not always the kindest to myself, so I do need that reminder that if there's love out there, there can be love within me as well. I'm hoping the two aren't mutually exclusive!
honestly this is probably the hardest a youtube video ever hit me. recently i’ve been the only person bringing myself up and motivating myself, but sometimes it just doesn’t work since i’m the only one telling myself this. everybody has been bringing me down recently and i’ve been bullied in the past. i really needed this since self confidence is not my forte, i hate the way i look and i’ve been working on loving myself, but it hasn’t worked. i needed to hear this, thank you.
Yoooo! Look at this young man speaking with an old man's wisdom! I appreciate everything you said, and wish I knew at your age what you have already figured out. Keep learning, growing, and sharing. You really did some good work, here!
Also don’t get stuck in the trap of trying to impress people. Just keep being you and you’d find someone who likes that. Otherwise you’re just pretending and that’s no way to live.
been there brother, live and learn you just gotta have that wake up call one day and realize you’re worth more than being dragged along by someone who only enjoys the attention you give them. glad you have woken up and i wish you the best on your journey of loving yourself
My heart melted when he said "Don't y'all know that you're still growing and morphing into your bodies" To anyone reading this please find confidence in the fact that you are blooming into a beautiful flower!🥺
you have been a gem for me. today has been so rough, and scrolling on youtube, i found your channel. i feel better and i know that you’re an amazing human being. thank you so much for your kind and caring words . 💛
I really needed to hear this. I've been feeling pretty insecure about features of myself that I can't change and that's led me to be very self-conscious. I'm quite lanky for my age and my hair isn't growing how I want it. I found this video around a month ago and ever since then, I've been going to the gym consistently and eating right so I can start bulking, my facial hair's started to come through, I've started taking care of my skin, sleeping earlier to reduce pimples. I feel much more free than I used to and it mostly stems from me working so that I can be happy with myself rather than with how other people see me. God bless you brother. You're doing good work out here🙏🏾
I used to linger on my looks so much just to get older and realize no matter what you do to for your looks you won't be everyone's type. Adjust yourself for yourself and you'll attract the right things and people
The problem is when you're proven to be no ones type. Everyone says this stuff but they always can find people who are attracted to them... im sorry to say but short, ugly, skinny, and pale guys are no ones type and never will be so
damn man, i needed this. These last years i’ve been struggling trying to fit in a space i don’t feel myself that much. Trying too much to appeal for others only on the outside, while the inside remains still a little immature. Keep it up with the content bro, appreciate a lot!
As a Muslim girl I absolutely love the advice you’ve given in the video. I don’t date because I practice my religion intently but I love educating myself about the world and how I can be confident in my own body without needing attention from others.
my major problem is comparassion. I am not ugly, a lot of people find me cute, but I always strugle comparing me with a lot of beautiful ladies, ig models, etc. I am not the type of beuty that I like, i have not a thin face, slin body, wavy hair, big eyes, i am overweight, big face, hooded eyes, afro hair and i hate that
The greatest gift you can give yourself is internalizing the fact that life is not a competition. Wealth, beauty, education, culture all these things become descriptors rather than caste partitions when you understand that you are of equal value to everyone else. Be blessed on your journey.
One advice I can give you is to follow ppl who look like you! Seeing them being beautiful will make you realize you're beautiful too and maybe give you some inspo for hairstyles and outfit that look good on your type of hair and body :)
"why would you use their opinions to judge yourself", is when I shed a tear. I have always seen myself through the lens of other peoples eyes. I felt like a lot of us needed to hear this.. and be hit by something particular. I can't tell you or stress to you HOW much I needed to hear this. I have been going through a rough time, and everyone I talk to kind of brushes it off or doesn't know what to say, so this was exactly what I didn't know I needed.
My mother was never a woman I listened to often, people called her crazy and she mistreated me when I was younger. But as I grew up I began to see her struggle, not that it makes it okay, and that she was never crazy. Mean and cruel out of mislead love, yes. But never crazy, I love my momma. When I turned eighteen she told me something that truly stuck with me, something that I think only she could say I could understand from her. “Always be yourself, truly. And watch how people react. Their reactions tell you everything you need to know.” If you are being yourself, and you are being put down, or judged. Or made to feel crazy or like your emotions are being brushed off, do not take anything THOSE people say about you as word of law. If they are being cruel and mean, not trying to help, only saying things from a place of hatred. Do not listen. Those who care, who want to be in your life, who value your emotions, will show that. People show that differently, but you can tell. You can’t value the opinions of everyone about you. Try to focus on your opinion of yourself, and the opinions of those who truly care. If you look around and see nobody truly cares, look inside yourself. And you have to search for people people who do. I hope you know that the opinions of those who only want to tear you down, and hurt you. Those who have never wanted to see you happy or succeed, or those who don’t value your worth mean nothing. I am a random person on the internet and I care about your well being dude, as long as you’re striving to be the best you, I think you’re doing great. If a random person cares this much, someone out there who knows you better will care 1000000x times are much dawg
Shimon, just makin sure you know you got me to go 34 days no drugs or alcohol. I was around a bit before Christmas at my rock bottom then i clicked one of your vids. Thank you for what you do and keep making good content
This is one of the best youtube videos ive ever watched, and ive took alot from it. I always stay in relationships way past due, i stay with people who dont treat me right cause of the fear of not finding another person after. I always find when the relationships do happen to come by its always when im in my best state of mind, the time when i stop yearning for a relationship and instead yearn for the love of myself is when i always find love. I have a hard time letting go of my ex especially when they have a new person they are talking to every month and i havent even had a crush since we dated. It makes me feel like im in a rush to find another relationship too, like im meant to move on as fast as he did but im starting to love myself and what i do again and who hes with doesn't effect me. Thank you for this video it was a beautiful reminder, keep doing what you do and spreading whats positive💗
Bro I took your advice about doing something different for different results and whatnot. Changed my life in a weekend. I knew you were right, I was just scared of the unknown. After a couple of weeks you convinced me. Thank you my friend
So true. On top of that, your shyness is actually attractive. Being nervous and shy when meeting a girl, not knowing what to say, saying simple and "unoriginal" things is attractive - if you're genuine. Be genuine, even if that means being shy, or silent, or not smiling - even when you approach, especially then - is the most attractive thing you can do. Don't listen to dating coaches, don't use techniques, don't play games. And you'll find lots of people who would want to hang around with you.
Thank you so much for this important message I’ve been dealing with insecurities and not being confident in myself cause of they way I look but after watching this video! You have really helped me, I’ve been bullied my whole and named called by other people. I truly wanna say thank so much for this!❤🥺😊
'develop your sense of self worth from _internal standards_ and not incessant comparisons' reclaiming the self-esteem that's been stripped away over years is tricky, but worth the effort. healing takes time.
As a 19 year old black male in his first year of college this video really resonated with because of the simple fact that I’m always self Conscious and wondering how I look to other people , watching this video made me realize that maybe I’m not focusing on myself as much as I think I am. Thank you for this
Its 1am in the morning after a very stressful week of self reflection, intellectual challenges, phycological and soul bending experiences. I'm having a 2 lb steak and yogurt wondering who I am at 30. And I cant tell you how much I needed this. Thank you brother man, +1 to the tribe
This is beautiful! This is something I've just started learning on my own and I'm about to be 28. I hope this reaches a younger crowd so the can shine brighter earlier in their future and excellence the process of finding self love. Keep up with the content ✌🏾
I cannot tell you how much I needed this. Seeing other girl (and guy) 'friends' seem more happy and social than me has destroyed my self-esteem, but videos like this and meditations on this I do by myself are really helping me. Thank u
I am a latina woman and I just wanted to say, you are a beautiful man. You have an angelic face and you are very soft spoken. I could listen to your voice for hours. Everything you said was 100% true.
There’s a quote that goes “we all ugly to somebody.” And that is what keeps me confident. I couldn’t care who likes me, finds me attractive, or not- I am who I am ✨🤷🏾♀️ took awhile to get here, but working on one’s self is veryyy important.
im in high school right now and really struggling with people pleasing, among other things. it’s like this video came across at the perfect time. your words come out so comforting and trustworthy, thank you for helping people
For some reason your room aesthetic reminds me of Prince. I prefer to be single, happy, healthy and at peace than to run after people and convince them that I deserve a chance. I used to pray for inner peace, that's my treasure ❤🙏🏻
I appreciate the advice man.....fr you opened my eyes and I grateful that their are people out there that share their experiences....All love man, I hope are you doing well❤
I *just* found this video, and boy is it powerful. Pretty much everything this guy said hit the bullseye. I’ve always been pretty secure with myself physically, but I always had issues with people and my personality. Sometimes I feel like I’m unappealing to be around just because of the negative side of my personality showing on my face. I get irritated easily by small things, and it’s something I’ve always struggled with. I’ve been trying so hard to right myself personality-wise, but maybe I don’t need to rush to fix it. Maybe I just need to focus on myself and wait for God to put the right person into my life, and just surf the waves at they come, rather than try to rush against the current. Thank you, dude. New subscriber here. God bless you for this powerful message.❤
“there artwork everywhere, some people don’t like that artwork, but put it somewhere else and it’ll be worshipped” is such an amazing mentality, i actually got chills. i love this guy!
thank you for making the video. I subscribed and liked. It really made me feel better whenever i have a fight with my gf, i love her but she made me feel like im never enough but maybe its just overthinking but yes this video helped. thanks
you remind me of a real good friend i got. real short guy from some random country in south america. but he hits me with the deepest shit ever. he just supports me, but is real. this video is just real. thanks bro
Thank you for posting this because it feels like antidote to a lot of the ‘pick-up’ dating advice that just feels toxic and inauthentic. Plus it’s so much less stressful than trying to ‘keep score’, which isn’t productive 🙏
In 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, it is written, "Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies." This suggests the importance of taking care of ourselves physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Thank you for this..I’m going through heartbreak rn. This helped me find closure. I was wanting to sleep and not think about it but this video popped up when I needed it. Thank you for helping me heal
Heavy on the younger ppl, I'm 17 turning 18 and I was rushing relationships at 13 because I was desperate for that "high school romance" I needed up being exposed and hurt alot. And only recently have I really sat down and just took my time, my boyfriend now we were friends since 13 and even though it took us a long time to realize we liked eachother it just made it feel more genuine, we've seen eachother at our worst and we still love eachother and yet it took us 5 years to realize it. But it's so worth it
"heal in private so that you can shine in public"
Let's gooooo
Amen🙏🏽
I haven't watched the video, but this doesn't sound right. You can and should heal in public too. People should be more public about their woes - then people wouldn't feel so alone in our modern slave work era.
thanks i need hear it stated like that
Dope I'm stealing it
"youre not supposed to convince people to like you" hit so hard ngl
Fr 😢
Yup, I’m in my 30s,I learned that lesson if folks aren’t feeling you,move it along and don’t force it.
That one definitely hit home
Ive been looking for that statement all my life
Honestly this at 30 I'm still working on and truly it's because some of us don't have balance for some there's been more lovelessness then love and acceptance so out of fear it becomes almost like an unrealistic control of how we want to be wanted by others or that someone but I say unrealistic because you can't control the way you are valued this world Is certainly not even
This reminds me of something I read once:
"When you see yourself, you see what you're missing.
When other people see you, they see what you have."
❤
I Remember being in Marching Band in high school. We went to Band of America (to preform the marching show ‘Artworks’) and we didn’t place super high, we weren’t able to Polish up the ending before hand, and we knew we could of done better, but all the audience was doing was Cheering. When we came up to the seats, they were chanting ‘red, yellow, blue, green’ over and over, (based on the dance break Sequence were everyone chants those colors repeatedly and we do a little dance, words can’t do it justice) all I’m saying is they didn’t care we didn’t do amazing by our standards, they just saw what was there-a fun show.
Well depends tbh. But often this applies to
SAY IT LOUDER 🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥
Talk yo shit brother📣
"Youre not ugly, youre just not your type"
Woah 💀 maybe ur onto smth
𝖬𝗁𝗆!
You’re not wrong
Nah bro you're majestic. And I'm saying this as a straight white dude.
I appreciate you fam
Def a handsome guy
As a Southern Brazilian, i definitely sees him as a straight 8/10. He looks good!
@@bezovrinho yesss
yesss it’s giving a young michael jackson vibes (from a bi black girl)
A motto I'm living by lately is "stop trying to make the wrong people love you the right way"
Mentally noting that, thank you
You dropped this 👑
another one i live by for romance is "you cant convince someone to love you by giving more of what they already don't appreciate" good luck everyone and remember, you are worth it!
Woah, thanks for sharing
“You could be the sweetest peach on the tree. Some people just don’t like peaches”
A perfect representation of positive masculinity, remind me of the quote “don’t chase the butterflies, mend your garden and they will come to you”
"And if they don't. Then... you still... have a beautiful garden"
That's the sigma motto I mean that ironically
cope
im growin my garden and its very enjoyable
"Your not ugly but you can be better" that hits hard
no answers? lemme fix that
@@korpzmarcelfranca6825🤓
1 answer? lemme fix that
2 answers? Lemme fix that
@@shabnammukhtar4906 3 answers? Lets keep fixing that!
“You appeal to another group but you may not be around them.“ needed to hear that bro
FACTS !!!
Growing up in a conservative state filled with closed minded people, you either learn this early or you become one of them
@@Yeehaw0588yeah because liberals are so open minded and tolerant…
@@saltminer4463 I wasn't really talking about liberals either, but conservative states are filled with old people, where you will get hate crimes for simply wearing a pride pin on your hat (atleast where I live, west virginia is a shit state for the most part)
@@saltminer4463 Yes. Conservatives are way more inclusive...
He’s the older brother we all need
💕💕
He's the elder sibling that all elder siblings wish they had growing up.
This dude is actually gonna clutch up this generation. Most older men are js making garbage how to get laid content. Like jelqing, mewing whatever the fck. This dude is genuinely honest and real.
Another slanderer of the jelq nation 😤
okay but he literally mentioned proper tongue posture 😭
He did also mention mewing but yeah
@@ilianalawrence8286 he did?!
@@beeposip 8:22 😞😞
"why would you use their opinions to judge yourself?" hits hard
I would say "because other people's opinions of you affect your day to day life...how people look at and treat you"
@@GoatSimpulator Their opinions and how they treat you will never be something you can control. People who thrive in hostile environments thrive by knowing they are something else, and that their immediate surroundings don't determine them. People might treat you wrong, even sometimes without ill intent. You cannot be determined by that. So listen to what they're telling you, but then think for yourself. Take in data, analyse, determine what's useful, and dispose of the rest. Sometimes, they'll have things you can use to understand yourself. Sometimes they don't know sh*t so whatever they say or do can't matter at all. Sometimes they'll have advice for something that just doesn't apply to you, and doesn't align with your personal goals. Like hell, I suck at hunting. It isn't a problem for me, I don't hunt to eat and it was never part of my goals. So no matter how many times people insult my inability to hunt I won't feel the least worried or diminished. Similarly, *when you know who you are and where you want to go, then you will decide what gets to you.* That's why "judging yourself with their opinions" makes no sense.
@@Kiwi_DeFruit Wow that's quite a paragraph lol but sound advice my dude, thank you... I'm just saying if you are a person who tries to value other people's opinions, it sucks when their opinion of you isn't favorable for some reason you can't change (people thinking they can go over or back me down easily simply because of my height or size). I don't like constant confrontation but I'm also not one to back down from aggression so my life is filled with drama.
bro woke up and choose to speak the realest words i've heard for a long time
“there’s artwork everywhere, some people don’t like this artwork but go put it in another museum people will worship it” 1:57 those are some beautiful words❤
This actually surprised me to believe it or not. 😅
I love how he goes "you understand what I'm sayin?" every now and then makes it feel real
So real in fact I almost answered "Yeah." to him while he asked that.
@@AtomicF0x He does speak in a tone and way where we're talking to him in person.
That's just a habit some people have
Truly it makes it feel like it's personal or literal irl conversation
Damn “if you believe that there’s love within you, then there’s love out there”. That hit
"Take a gamble that love exists and do a loving act"
@@DallyDooGDamn near put a tear in my eye
“You are just looking at yourself from the eyes of other people and that is corrupt.” Man, thank you for that statement 😭🙏🏿. I really! Appreciate this 🙌🏾
Lmao that line hit me so hard that I put it on my discord status
Rejection is protection. Being rejected by someone who would've simply used and abused u had u been attractive in "their" eyes is a blessing! Trust God's wisdom in your creation.
The positive male role model the internet actually needs. No toxicity, no belittling, just straight facts and positivity! And his advice can be applied by everyone! Keep doing what you're doing bro! Love this!
Seriously, the internet could use more sincerity like this.
We need more men like this 💯
Yeah sure.
@@loliboi6554 Cool of you to agree
@@dustinwalters2728 Uh-huh yeah, because this video is so life changing.
As an Asain male, I thought always looked unattractive. I hear people around me always tell me I have an amazing smile. But the more I look in the mirror at myself, the more confident I am in the way my face looks! Attraction will come naturally when it's the right person.
Big up king
Workout, its literally the cheat code
Being an attractive Asian is horrible because we get fetishized so badly. Especially us Koreans…
I have the exact opposite thing, my resting bitch face (I'm a Latvian) look solid, don't wanna be that guy but for sure above average, but seeing my smile makes me get rid of it.
As a person of color I find Asian men to be extremely attractive. I've grown up seeing a lot of girls dissing Asian men,but know there are some gems out there who aren't like that and find yall attractive
i’m 25 and i’ve been single my whole life while people around me are coupling up, so my self esteem and mood have been really shit.
this came at such a perfect time that i couldn’t help but cry. thank you for your words and the motivation. i will work on bettering myself while learning to be kinder to myself.
Right there with you fam 😢
Try being 39 and divorced lol
Everybody's path is different.
We might've been placed in the same environment in daycare and taught the same stuff in high school. But once you become an adult, you look around you, and everyone else starts separating from you and forging their own path in life.
It's so, so difficult to really implement into your life. But there is really no strict blueprint for how one should live their life, no matter how much we're conditioned in childhood.
You don't have to have a romantic partner at a certain milestone. You can go look for it if it's what you really want, but you have to look out for yourself first and foremost. Don't feel pressured to get into a relationship just because everyone else around you is in one. Let it happen when it's supposed to happen.
@@rebeccav.3734true! I’m 35 and single.
same here as a 22yr old gay guy living in a conservative country i needed to see this video cause i felt lost
I figured this out when I realized I was attracted to traits that societal consensus deemed as 'ugly'. People have different tastes, and beauty is in everything
I definitely learned that the hard way.
You grow getting called something for so long, that when the opposite happens all of sudden you’re like “huh?”
Yeah the “you must be joking right?…. Yeah they have to be messing with me ain’t no way”
still waiting for that day
True
@@truemori6700you’re beautiful, courageous, caring, thoughtful, and loving, I’m so sorry you haven’t had that special day, but just know I love you. This life can be so hard sometimes, I know how hard it may be to get out of bed in the morning, to feel unappreciated. But I appreciate you, you’re struggling, and that’s okay, you’re so much stronger than you think. We’re all here for you. I love you! ❤️
Bingo now I don’t know how to take. A compliment
this made me feel so much better about getting over a guy who broke up with me. i cant convince him to see my worth!
Exactly...im glad you realized it
Or if you’re dating the wrong person too… it happens but I had to break it off due to stress
@@purpleviolet9046What do you mean?
U fine af
Choose people that chooses you.
A world of everyone being attractive to everyone else would be a nightmare. We already see relationships broken over infidelity with some of the ugliest people I've ever seen in my life.
THANK YOUUUUU. No one understands when i say i do my makeup and dress nice and do my hair everyday for MYSELF. I really could not care less what someone on the street thinks of me, it just makes ME feel good when I look good.
social media conditions us to believe we are ugly, they come up with new insecurities to make people feel shame every 5 business days. social media detox is important.
if social media affects your confidence that much then you are probably very well ugly
@@mil-kw9ziit affects people with overconsumption but it depends on what you use it for, some people base their whole life on social media.
Then there’s others that use it for interests hobbies, entertainment or learning purposes.
Seriously though. Get out of your house and just go do something else for a few days. Book the cheapest hostel in a town nearby, go walk in the woods. It helps a lot.
I’m detoxing rn and I feel so much better
I dont use social media much at all and only really use UA-cam reviews, vids like this and some gaming channels and yet I still see those perfect models and streamers pop up all the time anyways. I see them everywhere in movies and shows. There is no escape and even knowing everyone has different taste and types doesnt help. There is no niche set of people whod find me attractive and never will be, there is no being happy unless id magically be one of those perfect people everyone loves. Im glad other people can come to terms and be confident despite it but not all of can or have reasons to be happy with a body that I cant stand being in🤷♂️
i’ve been crying for about an hour just because of how ugly and lonely i feel and this video made my tears dry up. really made me realize that i needed to stop looking for validation from others ❤
You look really good. Have more confidence in yourself ❤
You are pretty
@@acidicsoul4978That's maybe a nice try to lighten the day of someone but tbh the person does not want to hear that because for them their focus is elsewhere, all you say is "Stop complaining there are african children that are starving." That's not the point, just because someone sufferes more doesnt mean that you have problems that you see as something big
You're beautiful
I mean….i don’t see why you would think you’re ugly. Is this a genuine comment?
,,When you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes." Damn
Great speech of this young man!!! All these internet gurus and dating coaches are poisoning our youth
so true
No lie your videos actually have helped me i stopped watching porn i started working out i started focusing on myself i started to stop overthinking about everything i finally could of talked to people without being scared Thank you so much shimon for your help
my man
Anytime family
that’s what i am trying to do. it’s a challenge but i know i can do it. thank you for being honest , it definitely inspired me. much love🩷
This is a beautiful response. I just found your video @askshimon, and I must say... very calm, cool, collected and wise words. I hope they help many many others. 💫
I hate being a negative Nancy it’s such a beautiful message I just noticed you used the wrong you’re keep being yourself✌️
He gives me such Bob Ross vibes. He speaks so gentle and informatively.
Edit: do not associate this comment with race because race has nothing to do with it. Bob Ross was a legend + a lovely gentleman, and this guy evokes the same aura in my opinion. Please don’t get offended by this comparison.
his nice afro also reminds me of bob ross
Oh yeah! I thought he reminded me of someone 😂
Is it also because of the hair?
☠️☠️☠️💀💀💀🤣🤣🤣👌👌👌
He looks like Michael jackson
i really enjoyed the pep talk.
Even though i already realized being focused on dating culture is not healthy, and how sexualizing everything isn't healthy, this genuinely was still more helpful than any other video about "men suicide more" and "dating sucks". none of that, just "be the best you"
Great video Shimon! I would like to mention some book that you haven't mentioned and its for Insecure Americans. So, its called CrushAnyGirl and its for finding a gf as Insecure American. After reading, you will have a better perspective on girls, and find your gf in thirty days guaranteed
Highly recommended to read
Ah yes "just some book" totally not YOUR book right? XD
Reads message, looks at Username...checks out. I really hope that's 2k bots that liked the comment and not 2k poor kids with their hopes up.
Guys, where did I said that it is not my book? Nowhere, so I dont see any problem in here promoting a book for Insecure Americans.
@@CrushAnyGirlyour channel name sounds like a felony
@@petermaxley Better read an ebook to find some girl than wasting time in comments... Commenting me wont bring you anywhere ^^
" when you find someone for you, you do not have to play games. It is harder for you to get RID of them, than it is to make them like you". Wow, I had to listen to it multiple times, the make sure I got it right. I never thought about this.
Can you explain it please?
Someone who likes you will like you as you are - you wont have to put on a facade to impress them. And it’s harder to get rid of them because if you realize you guys might not meant to be, they’ll be reluctant to leave you because they like you as a person and don’t wanna lose you.
@@jessicawilliams3849 thx
.
bro do you know how many people use that saying? its not "bars" its common sense
Okay.....
@@apricus4Jesus aye back tf up. let this person appreciate the comment. weird ass thing to argue someone about dude.
@@TyThaArtist__ yo chill it’s just a comment
I will say it’s very common, but I will also recommend reading books that augment your vocabulary and dialect.
This right here arrived on my feed at THE most perfect time in my recent life. Much love for making this vid man, good reminder to keep my head up and wear the crown, it aint about how others think but what's within you and your qualities 👑🙏
thank u so much man, ive been havin a rough time and this is exactly what i needed to hear, u have my full respect
Every man and woman needs to hear this. Can't stress it enough. Me and my fiance have been together 9 years. We are inseparable. Completely effortless and blissful. And the secret sauce is we've never had to be anyone other than ourselves.
Plus working together even if it get's hard. Every lastig relationship went through at least one huge crisis together. And not breaking up over stupid nonsense
9 years together and still not married, mf that’s not a fiancé that’s a concubine 💀
be surprised if that shit lasted another few years idk how she ain’t fed up with your non commitment
Love this ! Thank you for sharing your experience 🤍
Hey, you got any advice about 'shooting your shot'? I'm in Middle School and there is this girl I really like that I am really good friends with but don't have enough confidence to shoot my shot. As you said, you have been together for 9 years, so you must have some advice, and that would mean a lot. If you see this, thank you in advance.
@@braydenkaiser33I'm in middle school too and I have had this problem alot before I met my boyfriend who I've been with for almost a year. I recommend just be yourself and tell your brain to shut up and go with it. It's not easy but it's helpful, do your best to calm down your nerves beforehand. If she says yes, awesome. If she says no, that's okay too just remember to heal and focus on your growth as a person. As you said that you and her are friends, just act as you normally would (If that means being yourself, if you can't be yourself around someone then they aren't for you) I hope this helps, goodluck))
"If there's love within you, there has to be love out there somewhere."
Really digging this quote, thanks for the reminder.
Same. That one hit.
What if there's no love within you tho lol
@@solus8685 haha I feel you on that. There are definitely days where it's the opposite for me. I'm not always the kindest to myself, so I do need that reminder that if there's love out there, there can be love within me as well. I'm hoping the two aren't mutually exclusive!
honestly this is probably the hardest a youtube video ever hit me. recently i’ve been the only person bringing myself up and motivating myself, but sometimes it just doesn’t work since i’m the only one telling myself this. everybody has been bringing me down recently and i’ve been bullied in the past. i really needed this since self confidence is not my forte, i hate the way i look and i’ve been working on loving myself, but it hasn’t worked. i needed to hear this, thank you.
Yoooo! Look at this young man speaking with an old man's wisdom! I appreciate everything you said, and wish I knew at your age what you have already figured out. Keep learning, growing, and sharing. You really did some good work, here!
Been chasing this girl who has been probably keeping me around for the attention i give her. Thank you i needed this wake up call
Let her go man, it's not worth your dignity
You deserve better. Hope you get a nice girl on Valentine’s Day
Also don’t get stuck in the trap of trying to impress people. Just keep being you and you’d find someone who likes that. Otherwise you’re just pretending and that’s no way to live.
been there brother, live and learn you just gotta have that wake up call one day and realize you’re worth more than being dragged along by someone who only enjoys the attention you give them. glad you have woken up and i wish you the best on your journey of loving yourself
My heart melted when he said "Don't y'all know that you're still growing and morphing into your bodies" To anyone reading this please find confidence in the fact that you are blooming into a beautiful flower!🥺
No I’m not, I’m growing into an ugly subhuman ogre who will only appeal to special needs people
I haven’t been told this in awhile, thank you. We need more positivity in this world
The way you put it is so beautiful
So sentimental and hits hard Q A Q My to do list for ,arch happens to have the emoji a blooming flower
you have been a gem for me. today has been so rough, and scrolling on youtube, i found your channel. i feel better and i know that you’re an amazing human being. thank you so much for your kind and caring words . 💛
I really needed to hear this. I've been feeling pretty insecure about features of myself that I can't change and that's led me to be very self-conscious. I'm quite lanky for my age and my hair isn't growing how I want it. I found this video around a month ago and ever since then, I've been going to the gym consistently and eating right so I can start bulking, my facial hair's started to come through, I've started taking care of my skin, sleeping earlier to reduce pimples. I feel much more free than I used to and it mostly stems from me working so that I can be happy with myself rather than with how other people see me. God bless you brother. You're doing good work out here🙏🏾
The real talks he has with us is just what we need thank you so much.
No rush or something like this
I used to linger on my looks so much just to get older and realize no matter what you do to for your looks you won't be everyone's type. Adjust yourself for yourself and you'll attract the right things and people
The problem is when you're proven to be no ones type. Everyone says this stuff but they always can find people who are attracted to them... im sorry to say but short, ugly, skinny, and pale guys are no ones type and never will be so
This is beautiful. The words you spoke, the way you delivered your message. Beautiful. i needed this . thank you Shimon
damn man, i needed this. These last years i’ve been struggling trying to fit in a space i don’t feel myself that much. Trying too much to appeal for others only on the outside, while the inside remains still a little immature.
Keep it up with the content bro, appreciate a lot!
As a Muslim girl I absolutely love the advice you’ve given in the video. I don’t date because I practice my religion intently but I love educating myself about the world and how I can be confident in my own body without needing attention from others.
Same here ukhti
masha Allah sis , keep going 💜✨
@@semayraoneal8304 JazakaAllah khu khaiyran! I appreciate it sis
Same here as well, he gave sound advice
here as well!!
my major problem is comparassion. I am not ugly, a lot of people find me cute, but I always strugle comparing me with a lot of beautiful ladies, ig models, etc. I am not the type of beuty that I like, i have not a thin face, slin body, wavy hair, big eyes, i am overweight, big face, hooded eyes, afro hair and i hate that
Green beauty on UA-cam has a great channel for Afro hair
The greatest gift you can give yourself is internalizing the fact that life is not a competition. Wealth, beauty, education, culture all these things become descriptors rather than caste partitions when you understand that you are of equal value to everyone else. Be blessed on your journey.
One advice I can give you is to follow ppl who look like you! Seeing them being beautiful will make you realize you're beautiful too and maybe give you some inspo for hairstyles and outfit that look good on your type of hair and body :)
Lose weight, then.
Almost nobody thinks fat people are beautiful, and you will do wonders for your health with a better diet.
oh i felt this! i know i’m beautiful but i’m not my own type😭.. We actually have the same similarities of our insecurities that’s crazy.
I’m so happy this video found me, and then I saw the cross as confirmation. Thank you so much for sharing this perspective
i havent smiled at a video like i just did until i watched this one. thank you for this, ive been needing this a lot 💙
Wow insecurities really do come from seeing yourself through the corrupted mind of others! That is the gem I needed to shift my perspective💜👏🏽
"why would you use their opinions to judge yourself", is when I shed a tear. I have always seen myself through the lens of other peoples eyes.
I felt like a lot of us needed to hear this.. and be hit by something particular. I can't tell you or stress to you HOW much I needed to hear this.
I have been going through a rough time, and everyone I talk to kind of brushes it off or doesn't know what to say, so this was exactly what I didn't know I needed.
fr dawg
My mother was never a woman I listened to often, people called her crazy and she mistreated me when I was younger. But as I grew up I began to see her struggle, not that it makes it okay, and that she was never crazy. Mean and cruel out of mislead love, yes. But never crazy, I love my momma. When I turned eighteen she told me something that truly stuck with me, something that I think only she could say I could understand from her.
“Always be yourself, truly. And watch how people react. Their reactions tell you everything you need to know.”
If you are being yourself, and you are being put down, or judged. Or made to feel crazy or like your emotions are being brushed off, do not take anything THOSE people say about you as word of law. If they are being cruel and mean, not trying to help, only saying things from a place of hatred. Do not listen. Those who care, who want to be in your life, who value your emotions, will show that. People show that differently, but you can tell. You can’t value the opinions of everyone about you. Try to focus on your opinion of yourself, and the opinions of those who truly care. If you look around and see nobody truly cares, look inside yourself. And you have to search for people people who do.
I hope you know that the opinions of those who only want to tear you down, and hurt you. Those who have never wanted to see you happy or succeed, or those who don’t value your worth mean nothing. I am a random person on the internet and I care about your well being dude, as long as you’re striving to be the best you, I think you’re doing great. If a random person cares this much, someone out there who knows you better will care 1000000x times are much dawg
The way you laid it out in this video is so well done, thank you 💜
Damn bru that hit hard thanks man u put a bit of hope in makes all the difference
this guy is honestly such a life saver , i'm so thankful for you bro i cant even explain. you helped me so much!
I appreciate you fam
Shimon, just makin sure you know you got me to go 34 days no drugs or alcohol. I was around a bit before Christmas at my rock bottom then i clicked one of your vids. Thank you for what you do and keep making good content
Much love family ! I’m proud of you
That's beautiful ❤️.
Keep going,and always be hopeful Insha Allah
this is the sweetest thing i’ve ever watched, i appreciate you so much for this
This is one of the best youtube videos ive ever watched, and ive took alot from it. I always stay in relationships way past due, i stay with people who dont treat me right cause of the fear of not finding another person after. I always find when the relationships do happen to come by its always when im in my best state of mind, the time when i stop yearning for a relationship and instead yearn for the love of myself is when i always find love. I have a hard time letting go of my ex especially when they have a new person they are talking to every month and i havent even had a crush since we dated. It makes me feel like im in a rush to find another relationship too, like im meant to move on as fast as he did but im starting to love myself and what i do again and who hes with doesn't effect me. Thank you for this video it was a beautiful reminder, keep doing what you do and spreading whats positive💗
Bro I took your advice about doing something different for different results and whatnot. Changed my life in a weekend. I knew you were right, I was just scared of the unknown. After a couple of weeks you convinced me. Thank you my friend
I’m proud of you
So true. On top of that, your shyness is actually attractive. Being nervous and shy when meeting a girl, not knowing what to say, saying simple and "unoriginal" things is attractive - if you're genuine. Be genuine, even if that means being shy, or silent, or not smiling - even when you approach, especially then - is the most attractive thing you can do. Don't listen to dating coaches, don't use techniques, don't play games. And you'll find lots of people who would want to hang around with you.
I’ve been learning to think this way but this video and your influence definitely helped me be more aware and understanding. Thank you 🙏🏿
Thank you so much for this important message I’ve been dealing with insecurities and not being confident in myself cause of they way I look but after watching this video! You have really helped me, I’ve been bullied my whole and named called by other people. I truly wanna say thank so much for this!❤🥺😊
'develop your sense of self worth from _internal standards_ and not incessant comparisons'
reclaiming the self-esteem that's been stripped away over years is tricky, but worth the effort. healing takes time.
This guy has soo much wisdom at such a young age 🙏
Much appreciated💯
This video hit different man!! Very wise words, well spoken.
Your vibe and your speech is so precious, thanks bro !!!
As a 19 year old black male in his first year of college this video really resonated with because of the simple fact that I’m always self Conscious and wondering how I look to other people , watching this video made me realize that maybe I’m not focusing on myself as much as I think I am. Thank you for this
Its 1am in the morning after a very stressful week of self reflection, intellectual challenges, phycological and soul bending experiences.
I'm having a 2 lb steak and yogurt wondering who I am at 30. And I cant tell you how much I needed this.
Thank you brother man, +1 to the tribe
I feel the same way and I just ate 2 bowls of cereal lol😂
This is beautiful! This is something I've just started learning on my own and I'm about to be 28. I hope this reaches a younger crowd so the can shine brighter earlier in their future and excellence the process of finding self love. Keep up with the content ✌🏾
I cannot tell you how much I needed this. Seeing other girl (and guy) 'friends' seem more happy and social than me has destroyed my self-esteem, but videos like this and meditations on this I do by myself are really helping me. Thank u
I am a latina woman and I just wanted to say, you are a beautiful man. You have an angelic face and you are very soft spoken. I could listen to your voice for hours. Everything you said was 100% true.
There’s a quote that goes
“we all ugly to somebody.”
And that is what keeps me confident. I couldn’t care who likes me, finds me attractive, or not- I am who I am ✨🤷🏾♀️ took awhile to get here, but working on one’s self is veryyy important.
I love this quote so much do you mind if I steal and relish in it? (what I mean by steal is re-tell*)
love the simplicity of this quote
man think you so much, i rlly needed this video rn.
im in high school right now and really struggling with people pleasing, among other things. it’s like this video came across at the perfect time. your words come out so comforting and trustworthy, thank you for helping people
"I'm not gonna sit here an say I'm the most beautiful person in the world".
Dude, is the most beautiful being on the planet
Real 😭
For some reason your room aesthetic reminds me of Prince.
I prefer to be single, happy, healthy and at peace than to run after people and convince them that I deserve a chance. I used to pray for inner peace, that's my treasure ❤🙏🏻
I appreciate the advice man.....fr you opened my eyes and I grateful that their are people out there that share their experiences....All love man, I hope are you doing well❤
I *just* found this video, and boy is it powerful.
Pretty much everything this guy said hit the bullseye. I’ve always been pretty secure with myself physically, but I always had issues with people and my personality. Sometimes I feel like I’m unappealing to be around just because of the negative side of my personality showing on my face. I get irritated easily by small things, and it’s something I’ve always struggled with. I’ve been trying so hard to right myself personality-wise, but maybe I don’t need to rush to fix it. Maybe I just need to focus on myself and wait for God to put the right person into my life, and just surf the waves at they come, rather than try to rush against the current.
Thank you, dude. New subscriber here. God bless you for this powerful message.❤
“there artwork everywhere, some people don’t like that artwork, but put it somewhere else and it’ll be worshipped” is such an amazing mentality, i actually got chills. i love this guy!
thank you for making the video. I subscribed and liked. It really made me feel better whenever i have a fight with my gf, i love her but she made me feel like im never enough but maybe its just overthinking but yes this video helped. thanks
This is the most truth I've ever heard. Thank you I needed this
You have the most chaotic yet aesthetically pleasing background, it’s so authentic I luv!
This is the male influencer that is needed for young men. Keep up the good work!
I needed this, thank you. It feels like i am asking advices from a old brother
you remind me of a real good friend i got. real short guy from some random country in south america. but he hits me with the deepest shit ever. he just supports me, but is real. this video is just real. thanks bro
Thank you for posting this because it feels like antidote to a lot of the ‘pick-up’ dating advice that just feels toxic and inauthentic. Plus it’s so much less stressful than trying to ‘keep score’, which isn’t productive 🙏
In 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, it is written, "Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies." This suggests the importance of taking care of ourselves physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Amen. God bless
Amen 🙏
@@gritticusgod bless you too
Okay and
@@xHDdjuTrAXx--XIIX- we ought to take care of our bodies. He literally said it.
Brotha thanks for this, I've thought this way since I've got rejected and I can tell that this is the right path!
Bro, i love your content. It's so chill and vibe.
“If you play stupid games you win stupid prices”., thank god that i got to this video💯❤️
“when in doubt, look within” whew
Thank you for this..I’m going through heartbreak rn. This helped me find closure. I was wanting to sleep and not think about it but this video popped up when I needed it. Thank you for helping me heal
i really needed this bro such a blessing you popped up on my recommended
Heavy on the younger ppl, I'm 17 turning 18 and I was rushing relationships at 13 because I was desperate for that "high school romance" I needed up being exposed and hurt alot. And only recently have I really sat down and just took my time, my boyfriend now we were friends since 13 and even though it took us a long time to realize we liked eachother it just made it feel more genuine, we've seen eachother at our worst and we still love eachother and yet it took us 5 years to realize it. But it's so worth it