The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation. From the desperate city you go into the desperate country, and have to console yourself with the bravery of minks and muskrats. A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind. There is no play in them, for this comes after work. But it is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things
@@tikkiu7345 Who cares? Thoreau was a mooch. His mommy paid for his meal for those two years, two months, and two days, and he borrowed land from Ralph Waldo Emerson, on and on. What good are his critiques?
@@LetsGo_Brandon Got out of bed on the wrong side did you, go out and smell the fresh air and watch the tree blow in the winds. 🙄 I never heard of the guy, but I like the line.. it is characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things. Like comment your comment on UA-cam, a desperate attempt for attention perhaps? Don't be so bitter you put yourself in hell, for what? What do you gain from being such a bitter person, with hatred toward someone you never knew personally? Who cares what he did? Are you his judge? You shouldn't be because there is only ONE judge and ONE lawgiver, and it ain't you.
He has a wife that risked her health twice to gave birth and is sacrificing her time to take care of their children, but for this man it’s still not good enough.
At the age of 53 I ate a 🍄and I saw the world through new eyes. Grabbed my kid's bike and rode it several miles back to the old neighborhood where I grew up. I hit the handball courts and spoke with random people and enjoyed the beauty of being alive in a way I had forgotten. Why did I ever stop? Why did I get into a dull routine of work/home/work/home and nothing else? The world didn't change, I did. It's always there, always welcoming you to live a life that makes you happy.
Me too, I read this book that was like a 🍄. It basically states we are in a 💭 dream, like all this is an illusion , a matrix of codes that seem real but it’s all in our head.
New York City native living in Osaka 31 years in July. Agree fully: Japanese men are conditioned not to discuss their feelings because as we know this culture considers it “complaining (notice how in the beginning he makes it clear he isn’t depressed…).” The people have willingly ignored a lot of problems, and not confronting their government by having no plans for the future: it’s coming to a head.
I am 41-years-old man from Finland. I felt the same along time in my life. I have a degree in economics and marketing major. I was in a relationship with my ex-wife back then and working in a big company after collage. I was making good money and had a good looking woman but I felt very unhappy. Then (luckily) I got divorced 2013 and I was 30 at that time. First it was really hard to figure out what to do in my life. Then step by step I learned the things that are important to me. I started to play guitar, started a own business, went to singing classes, travelled to a lot of different countries and now everything is more that great. I am single, no kids and I can do the things I love to do but it took like 10 years to get here. I started to write diary and slowly figure out what is my thing in life. I think because of all this "noise" in our lifes it is really hard to find youself these days. I takes lonelyness and time to master youself and I think that is the most important thing in life... to find youself... Really good video. Thanks
Dude I’m sorry but how do you have a hot wife and not want to immediately put a kid on her 😭😭 and how could u find ur life boring omfg I’m so jealous I literally want your life in your 20s especially you being a white fit dude like bro I’m an ugly black lesbian lmfao
Most important thing in life=have kids. He literally explained in the video about population decline. Personally I don't fear it because there will be a natural equilibrium at some point and the economy and everything will figure out how to equalize
Another thing is, this point in time we are exposed to news and social media, we see all the negative news in a clump! Sometimes its best to switch off and go for a walk in nature. Focus on the good in your own life.
Depressing Story Time: From 2018 - 2022 I was stationed in Iwakuni, Japan in the US Marines. One of my side-quests was being a Finance nerd off to the side for the unit (yes, we do math in the Marines sometimes). I befriended the civilian comptroller (finance boss) Mr. Fujita a kind 50-year-old Japanese dude. He would get so happy when he saw me. Always telling me about fishing trips and inviting me. One day he heard I was leaving back to the US. He was visibly sad. He began to tell me about how he used to live in New York and California. But he purposely overstayed his VISA. Because of that, he was barred from re-entry. He began to tell me how boring life was in Japan and how the culture made him feel dead inside. The last time he felt alive was 25 years ago, when he was a 25 year old in the US studying. I think about him all the time when people try gloating about how "perfect" Japan is. Honestly, after this video, I think I need to find his email again and reach out. I feel like a POS for not doing so at the time and only thinking about it now. I was caught up in my own world. Something as basic as "Hey man, let's keep in touch" would have gone a long way. Men struggle a lot in Japan and it can be rough. That said, if any Japanese homies need a friend or contact when visiting SoCal (California), message me here or on Instagram (@sinlow_music just shoot me a message) & I'll 1000% be your tour guide. Be safe and remember the grass isn't greener on the other side. It's green where you water it.
@@workshop1668 You think that until you leave the US for a few years. Then you’ll understand what he’s saying in a painful way. By all means try it, it adds character. And there ARE better countries than the US. It’s just Japan isn’t always one
Having lived and worked in your country for a while as a foreigner, I am surprised you are just feeling this at 50. Japanese work culture is so extreme, it forces the individual to give up their life. The irony is you're surrounded by people all the time but it still feels so isolating...
its not only in japan. its the same in western countries if you work a low income job and dont belong to the middle class. i work in a supermarket and my life is boring af. i go from work to watching tv or reading at home because i have no free time anymore. and not enough money to enjoy life in real life instead of virtual. the last time i had vacation outside my country was over 20 years ago.
@@DanielRumbacheri do the same as middle class, living the dream they say. I’m glad I have a roof over my head but my days are spent working then home. Which I’m totally fine with but the work culture of 9-5 is such a backwards thing to have you work your life only to enjoy retirement on your last legs.
@@DanielRumbacher Japan is much worse than you can imagine. You have time after work to read? A Japanese man does not. You are at work from early in the morning to late in the night all week long, when you get off work you are forced to immediately attend the mandatory afterwork drinking and social activities with your boss and other employees. If you fail to, you are not a team player and risk your career prospects. Some men don't even make it home at night. It's so bad at times that Japanese companies will arrange relationship partners for you because you don't have time for that either.
@@stephenallen224 In Taiwan, many companies have these things called "make up days". If a nationwide holiday falls on a weekday, workers are expected to make up for it by coming in on a Saturday or Sunday. But yeah, sh*t sucks.
not everyone in japan has to work that hard, there are many exceptions. and the after work drinking is going to disappear in the future because young people dont want to do it anymore. i know people who live in japan. they all tell me that the trade is that japanese people work more hours, but they dont have to work that hard like in the west. in the west you work less hours but you have to work hardcore. in japanese companies many people pretend to work hard when in fact they do nothing at all or they even sleep at work. so not every hour at work is spent working there. the only bad thing is the after work drinking. and that is going to disappear in the future.
Emptiness is a lack of appreciation and a lack of ability to "feel" rather thank think. When you are older you will be nostalgic for your children when they were young. Ignore the news and hug your children.
He feels FLAT mentally. Hence the boredom. It’s not about a lack of activity in his life (which he has the free will to do but doesn’t) his lifelessness & stale mentality destroys his motivation. He’s begging for *mental stimulation* … which is why ppl use illegal drugs. And ppl question why ppl use narcotics The problem with narcotic users is they _often_ lack doing other activities, they focus too much on the drugs & are too much of home-bodies. My answer may be very non-PC but I’m fine with it cause it’s honest I also think his issue is a major reason why su!c!d€ rate is high in his country… something they don’t get to the bottom of! Everyone wants the politically correct prudent answer
We need to work productively for 4 days on monday to Thursday and rest for 3 days (hobbies, passion,celebration with friends) from Friday to Sunday this should be the new norm. Who's on board?
@@fujithegreat6069 of course they won't cause they too greedy and use fear tactics propaganda to divide and prevent us from developing our potential but if we are the majority pushing this new norm they will no choice then to submit to our will soon or later.
Of course they won't cause they too greedy using fear tactics propaganda to divide and prevent us from developing our potential but if we are the majority pushing this new norm they will have no choice then to submit to our will soon or later.
It’s not that the younger generation doesn’t care about politics, they mostly see it as exploitation for money, discouraged from participating from the powerless feeling thinking about it gives them, I am sure they aren’t alone. Your English is very good brother, thank you for speaking on this.
I’ve just reached my 43, a divorced man with no kid. So far to me is fantastic to me as I’m learning how to cherish moments in life. I understand when I reach your age, physical & mental change may make us feel most challenging time in life. So, I guess that is part of our life that we need to be through. Thanks for sharing. I can tell that you’re a good man & I wish you well to get through hard times!
I'm 33 now, Russian man, I know it might be different when I'm 50 but I believe a lot of unhappiness and lack of satisfaction comes from a few things: 1. High expectations. If you wanted something unreasonable in the first place, you'll suffer immensely, so we create unhappiness in our mind ourselves 2. Success ideology. People are infected with an idea that they should be successful businessmen and reach lots of things by a certain age. This is a kind of indocrination. People should find their own values in life, even if it's small like caring after animals/family/videogames 3. Political indocrination. I suppose that one is clear.
People r spoiled. I am a 53 man in America. I have a modern dead end job where I make good money for what I do. However, my role is beta at work. Many of my coworkers find it soul crushing. I am a casino worker. The way I look at it is it is my job to have fun and enjoy every day. This is a choice. No doubt life is not as exciting as it was for me at 20. Get over it. Our lives are short. If u r bored, u won’t be here much longer anyway
@@tikkiu7345 I often consider layoffs. I have many alternate plans. I would easily land on my feet and be probably making twice the money. I am raising kids. The project soon completed, I have one more payment on my house. My job has been good, I enjoy it. My point is eventually people make a choice to be happy or not. I choose to enjoy my life, not envy what another may have
I turned 50 this year, and sometimes I feel the same way. Life is about choices and goals; we navigate from one objective to another, all while trying to survive in this chaotic world. I've changed my way of living many times. I'm South American and tried to work there for many years. After that, I lived in Japan for 5 years as I am of Japanese descent. I worked in assembly lines and other jobs at factories and tried to open my own business. I failed a couple of times and gave up on the idea of living in Japan as I didn't see myself 'progressing' in my life. Now I've been living in Australia for about 15 years. When I arrived here, I didn't speak any English, but I worked my way up from an English school to earning my PhD. I worked in several jobs (cleaner, laborer, driver, etc.) to pay my bills because I knew this was the only way I had to reach my goal. There was a sense of accomplishment after finishing my doctorate. Now, I am teaching at a university here. However, despite all these 'victories,' at the same time, I feel an immense emptiness. In just one month, I'll become a father, and I feel a bit lost. I'm trying to organize my thoughts because I know my family depends on me to keep going. The cost of living here has skyrocketed, and I continue receiving the same wage. I need a break, but I can't take one. Unfortunately, life is this way. So many things that we cannot control. So, to sum up, I won't give up, and neither should you. You'll find the motivation, just like I will find mine! Cheers!!
also in aussie (your english is superb by the way!) and cost of living has definitely gone up :(( hope you're holding up okay, i'm sure the uni kids who learn from you are blessed!
Thank you for your moving and emotionally honest video. I felt so sad when you said 'the people are suffocating.' It is great that you are addressing this type of feeling and so important to hear men, especially, speaking about how life is for them. I always find going to walk in nature helps me get perspective and is refreshing. Urban environments can be especially oppressive if there is no time for recuperation in nature. Good luck with everything.
Im 45 without children. I understand your sentiments. What keeps me going is my interior life and niche interests. Spirituality also very important. I led a very adverse and narrow life experience. It is no better here in Australia. I wish you all the best. Try not to allow news and economy to upset and demoralise
I am 45 and also without children and it is the same here in Slovenia - EU. It keeps me going when I try really hard to find the way to get women in my life. After trying so many things I am finally on something...
@@Goodman849 seems that the likes of sunak and johnson love ukranians more than their own citizens. but these people have no concept of real life, a bit like king charles who got diagnosed at a private clinic on harley street. they did not have to ring a GP in the morning and try to get through triage by reception...
I'm 43. Had 2 young girls. Yet the abusive mother abducted them to another country so they cannot see me. That's very painful. In my case no kids would have been less painful. No woman would have been less pain. The only positive reproduction genetic legacy. On balance you could argue better off not. Women really can hide who they really are long enough to get what they want. Like Jekyll and Hyde @@klirmio21
This gentleman's generation was the lost generation in Japan. His life was likely a significant struggle with little capacity for joy or optimism. But I'm glad he has a family, that can be a source of joy when you need it most. Stay strong brother.
Thanks for making this video. Mid life crises is a real thing and from my experience, 45yrs old living in the US, stepping outside of your comfort zone zone as often as possible can make a huge difference in one’s quality of life. Don’t be afraid of trying new things, meeting new people. No, the current economy doesn’t help and the news is always bad but don’t focus on those things and get creative. Keep moving ahead! 😊
Thoughtful and insightful look into your life, thank you for sharing! I’m pushing 60 and have had a great life though many challenges like everyone else, also I’d say I have had luck with me. No abuse, no mental health issues, semi normal family etc..This is a huge topic, worthy of like an online forum or chat series. I think each person has things that could help them along the journey, unique to them. Learning who you really are helps everyone yet is elusive. Connecting with the divine is critical, not religion, but divinity …love rules all sounds cliche but is so true. Getting a life long or new hobby / pursuit that you really enjoy also helps. Being in nature, taking extra self care during the day like maybe looking at beautiful photos or art. All the small things re define your mood and happiness… hope that helps a little!
I think many people around the world resonate with what you have said in this video. I'm a 34 year old living in Houston, Texas and I feel the same way as you have described. In fact, most everyone that I know feels this way. The toxic political climate, economic issues seem to put such a weight on everyone that it's difficult to not feel emptiness. People want to live happy lives, but we have so many distractions and responsibilities that it's almost impossible to catch a break. Even in our news we have to decipher what the truth is... it's exhausting. I appreciate the genuine video, and I'm glad that it was suggested to me. You don't see too many of these types of videos on social media anymore!
you may not like the choice between Trump and the establishment but the republican party is basically entirely reforming because of the economic climate, and the establishment is attacking Trump because of the threat his followers represents. If the world weren't in such a bad economic situation, the politics wouldn't be the way they are.
Hello Brandon, I also have lived in Houston but left 15 years ago. Terrible place to live - the crime, politics, traffic, weather, the city is broke, etc. Even now, my heart goes out to those residents that once more are trapped in a 500-year flood that seems to fall on Houston every couple of years. I hope that you can escape that place of tropical depression. Not the full answer, of course, but it is a good start.
I am 31 in Sydney Australia and utterly fed up with everything. All I want is community and connection with people and nature, and that's impossible to find in this crazy modern world.
This has become very common after everyone took the vaccseen. Either yall are starting to regret you took it or its lowkey effecting you. People arent the same as even last year
hey man, im a teenager but ive noticed that my parents went through the midlife crisis phase. they ended up finding hobbies to both stay fit and enjoy themselves a bit more. now theyre going on walks every day for 30 minutes and play badminton every weekend and ive noticed how theyre feeling better. another thing that ive learned is that japan has an overworking problem, meaning that you wake up, eat, go to work, come back home, sleep. you basically have no hobbies and therefore often no social life. the social life you usually have is in bars really drunk. in my opinion, "healthier" hobbies other than drinking should be normalised like mountain biking, hiking, and more to improve the social problems for Japanese citizens. another thing that should be normalised is shorter workdays since overworking is so normal there which ive mentioned previously. with the increased amount of free time, people can find hobbies which would both drive the economy stronger since consumerism has been increased to fill the longer times off work and make the people happier. edit: as someone pointed out, the reason i mentioned hiking and mountain biking/biking is because japan, in general, has very varied terrain which would make such activities both fun and challenging. even if you prefer to bike around more active places (cities, towns), japan has good infrastructure for biking so it shouldn't really be an issue there.
and also the overworking is draining the person physically and mentally the whole week , which doesnt give any space to enough rest and then doing some interesting activities in the weekend or even during the week as a whole
@@benhallo1553 I can swear to you that playing badminton is very funny and can be violent, you move very fast and you have to get great reflex...but yes, walking can be boring
I am in Australia and resonate with this. Our housing is so unaffordable, that most young people will rent their whole lives. They cannot afford children. So they wonder, why engage in the workforce when there is no reward? Why vote when all political parties are the same self serving boomers who don't care cause they got theirs? There is no hope
I am 31 and in Australia too. This place is nothing like it was when growing up. I have had a gutful of work too and ready to throw in the towel and just try to enjoy my life the best I can whilst everything else falls apart around me.
I've just started doing that, I have beetroot, broad beans, spring onions and corn. They've only just sprouted but there's something so pleasant about seeing little stems break the soil.
I watch a lot of “what it’s like to live in Japan” videos; most of them glowingly positive. This is an important reminder that life happens to you everywhere, even in Japan.
Life everywhere is basically the same game if friends, money, hobbies, work, etc. Different lands bring Just a change of scenery nothing more nothing less
For sure. We bring ourselves to every situation, and a place is just a place. Japan is interesting and I've been there several times for work, but no way I'd want to live there. Too much city and too many people.
@@maalikserebryakov True that the "game" is the same anywhere, but some countries or regions have different work cultures. For example in Japan and China, the extreme work culture doesn't allow for people to have much of a life outside of work. It has some very negative effects on the general population.
Hey man. I came across your video. I want to tell you that I understand how you feel and I am pulling for you to succeed. Brighter days are ahead. I believe in you. Thanks for your honesty
This happens to almost everybody. When you have met your early life goals, you have to set some new ones. I struggle with this too. Get outside.... take up running, cycling, Kendo or anything but move your body and get out in the fresh air somewhere. Its hard to be bored when fully physically active.
I visited Tokyo last December and one thing I can say for sure is that people are the same no matter where you go. When I go to work in New York I like to look at peoples' faces in the morning when nobody is watching and the stress of going back to work after a day off is universal lmao.
I think Marcus Aurelius said something like, "The quality of your thoughts determines the quality of your life." Mid life crisis is extremely common. We discover that all we strived for when younger is not as fulfilling as we thought. Our thoughts determine our perspectives on life. Unfortunately, we have been brainwashed by tradition and societal norms that if you do this you will be happy ever after and if not, you are a failure. You must investigate these biases, determine whether they are appropriate to you personally, and then go on a self reflective journey to find out what is most important to you. This is not easy. Second, bad news is part of life and completely out of your control. Accept it and realize that mainstream media only shows you a tiny tiny fraction of reality. Extreme negativity is as delusional as extreme optimism. Reality is vastly more nuanced. Best wishes to you. ❤
This comment might be good for the video creator but for most people they just desire the fundamentals of life and they are being denied. It is really not a matter of quality of thoughts for them. As Chappelle said: Go tell a starving child that his problem is that he has a bad attitude about starving to death.
@@jackmiddleton2080 I have noticed that many people in these countries, regardless of their situation, are often laughing and happy with a very tight knit community. Their life is a continuous struggle but many of them find comfort in each other. Sure, some are in total despair but that's not "most people". There are decades of research out there into this and even today, with the happiness index, we see many poor countries at the top of that list. Obviously, they have a mountain of problems but for the most part, finding happiness in life isn't one of them.
I visited Tokyo last year and felt that most folks around me on the train, train stations, and just people walking around were stressed, unhappy, and depressed. Not a lot of happy faces except for a few young women laughing on the streets.
"except for a few young women laughing on the streets." Scary but this is why Asian men who go amok often attack women. There was a guy making the same remark in Korea who said "I attacked them because they looked happy". Very unhappy men taking out their anger, feeling society has fcked them.
According to United Nations statistics, the happiness level of Japanese women is quite high. The suicide rate, death rate from overwork, and depression rate are all much higher for Japanese men than for Japanese women.
I'm a foreigner from the US currently living and working here in Hokkaido in one of those 'disappearing' cities you mentioned. The population in my town is less than 5,000 people. To be honest there is not much fun stuff to do here, most ppl are either young kids or elderly, and some Hokkaido people are not that friendly to foreigners. Life here has been hard and lonely. I'm ready to move to a bigger city like in Osaka or Kanagawa. I'm grateful for my job and having a roof over my head, but my circumstances have seriously affected my mental health. It's comforting to know there are ppl who are experiencing similar things. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and hope you can find joy and fulfillment in your life.
@@icwiener9935Why would someone leave an entire country because they live in a small town? Maybe they're in that country because they like it, otherwise they wouldn't be looking at big cities as alternatives to live in.
Your candidness is very enlightening, it gives me, a bloke from Wales, a perspective that we’re very much the same the world over, the same frustrations and challenges half a world away. Diolch yn fawr.
Boredom is a civilizational disease. Ive lived in the wild and i can tell you i havent had a single boring day. People are trained to do one thing. Be consumers. Go to shopping malls or internet websites and just spend money. So no wonder we feel empty inside.
I feel like boredom is a complicated topic. I feel like if you're trying to "cure" it (usually by consuming digital media), your life becomes more boring than ever, but if you become comfortable with being bored, you'll inevitably arouse your creativity and make your life more interesting.
Living in the wild sounds like fun, and, "Yeah, I'm not sure how people become 'comfortable' with boredom." Once you reach higher levels of consciousness and realize that you have come here to experience the world, every and any situation, no matter how important, how small or big it is, boredom disappears. You begin to understand that all experiences are equal; we are the ones "scoring" different situations as better or worse than others, but in reality, it's all the same. It's all you experiencing the world in different manners or aspects. Rather than viewing life through the lens of mundane tasks or tedious moments, you begin to see each experience as an opportunity for growth and understanding. This shift in perception allows you to embrace even the seemingly mundane aspects of life with a sense of wonder and appreciation. Moreover, this realization challenges the notion of boredom itself. Instead of seeing boredom as an inherent feature of certain situations, you recognize it as a byproduct of your own perception. By understanding that every experience contributes to your personal journey and growth, you can transcend the limitations of boredom and find fulfillment in even the simplest of moments. Furthermore, this perspective encourages a deeper connection with the world around you. Rather than seeking out excitement or novelty to escape boredom, you learn to find beauty and meaning in the present moment. Whether it's observing the intricate patterns of nature or reflecting on the complexities of human interaction, every experience becomes an opportunity for self-discovery and connection. Also i could say that Boredom represents the concept of not being fully awake in this world, once you are fully awake you no longer need to seek out for nothing, as the world around you is no longer interesting you realise that what trully "matters" is in the spiritual realm, right next to the "source of all creation". This is just a phase to be experienced, to learn and grow from, so nothing is really boring maybe you need to slow down you mind ^_^.
i am 28 living here in the third world. no kids, no wife, no properties, just a used 2012 model car and bunch of scooters, my gf left me after 4 years. now i have nothing to do in my life. btw im just earning 1k dollar a month or less. im not happy.
@@askjapan9669 Its a culmination of all of your choices and the lack of freedom you are left with in that short time until retirement. I can only imagine the thought process. I hope you find a hobby to love and enjoy your life, you've worked so hard.
Hello, I am a 24 years old who lived in France and west Africa ( Côte d’Ivoire) and wanted to share with you that you are not alone. Many many men in Africa and Europe feel the same way that you do, but men because we are not expected to share our feelings we just ignore it. We pretend everything is fine when it’s not. So I am very happy to see your video and I will share it
This is so insightful. I follow many foreign UA-camrs making videos about Japan but they only talk about the good things and that makes Japan look like heaven. Good to hear some honest words coming from a Japanese man.
Wow, thank you for sharing. I've been residing in Japan for six years already. Honestly, I feel the urge to travel elsewhere, or else I fear I might lose my sanity. There are moments when I question if I'm still human or simply functioning as an ATM. Perhaps it's time to embark on a journey.
I am 63 and retired at 60. This hit me a couple of years ago. It feels like a late mid-life crisis. I feel like making big changes in my life but am cautious that it may just look like the grass is greener on the other side. I have already experienced this a couple if times recently n my life. Interestingly, I feel my crisis is making me more distant from family, friends and my spouse. I think this is a symptom of depression. I feel a sense of inertia because I don't know what to think or what to do about my situation. I try to count my blessings because I know I am very well off compared to many, many people in the world and have much to be thankful for,
It is probably not in my place to give any "advice" or "criticism" but I have had life transforming events happen to me recently and I want to say that some of the best changes happen when you create a sense of urgency for yourself. Thank you for sharing your story.
HI! i have cronicle depression im well today but i been suffering very much,im a optimist person, im a dancer i see the beauty in the middle of the caos, and i try to embrasse the estoic and budist philosophy im from Argentina,so the economy here NEVER been estable. im 33 years old and sometimes i really want to quit this life,sometimes for the same as you,sometimes for the pain,but i think we are here to teach and learn from each other thats why inside of me im still be a child who works and plays. Never give up i you fall sometimes,get up and continue do your best and enjoy it, ENJOY IT . I really admire your country for the martial arts like Kendo ( im practice that) the discipline and the arts warms my soul. if you let me advice you,learn something new or try something diferent in your routine. ありがとう
Hello Mr. AskJapan. I’m Japanese-American and in my mid-forties. I had a major panic attack two years ago and I think about mostly existential issues these days. Thank you for your video and I hope you can find some sort of “ikigai” or passion to help you through your life journey.
“God, if you exist, I must know you. Save my soul, if I have one.” A prayer from an atheist Jew. The Christ answered her. You have a Creator and a Savior, do you know that?
No idea how i found this as a 17 year old in Sweden but sucks to see that the older generations are struggling as well. A lot of gen-z likes to think that life is soooo much easier for people born before us but apparently it's always been hard for most people unless you're born into wealth. Good luck man and i hope you find something you enjoy doing!
Life can be hell even for those born into wealth. I saw a documentary about young adults born into billionaire families. They grew up getting everything they wanted and waste all their time partying and have no real purpose or meaning in life. Depressed alcoholics.
I wouldn't say people had it easier, but I would say that it was "easier" to find meaning, and they, and my generation to a large extent, lived much more in tune with "natural order", I feel bad for Gen Z, way too sheltered by helicopter parents and the level of state sponsored brainwashing they throw at your guys is shocking...
Things were easier before Gen Z (trust me, I am an older millineal, just turned 40) but Japan is a special case where the bad things happening in the west already started much earlier in Japan.
We are all struggling with the dystopian world that has emerged over the last 30 years. I am a younger boomer and, even though I am in ok shape financially and have hobbies, it is depressing how disconnected people have become from each other when connection is the key to a joyful life. Life is meaningless without connection to our fellow human beings. I saw this change start at the end of the 80's and slowly lead to where we are now lamenting the decline the whole way. My only advice to my younger Swedish brother is to try to find people you can develop a deep connection with and you will have a meaningful life regardless of the noise around you. Be well.
Thank you for sharing. I believe the crisis feeling is no longer a mid-life thing. I am in my mid-twenties and I feel the same as you. I have a good enough job, friends and family. I am healthy and fit. But at the end of the day, me and the average person is stuck in this endless loop of: wake up, school/work, go home, and repeat. There just seems like there isn't enough time to do anything you want. Plus, it doesn't help when social media promotes people who portray themselves as living the live that you want, world events that are much bigger than your own personal problems, and people who are in similar situations telling you that they have it far worse than you. its like an endless one-up competition. It's just so tiring. Working out, brief respites, and staying away from social media are the things that keep me sane.
Your English is really impressive - this is really fascinating to hear, your honesty is very refreshing. The news cycle has a grim impact on people's psychological wellbeing. Try to give yourself the freedom and time to explore any activity or hobby that appeals to you. It's important to feel some creativity and autonomy from your own activities and pursuits in life too.
I'm studying both English and Japanese and interested in doing an exchange year in Japan, so I love listening to Japanese people who have just a normal Japanese accent speak English. Especially when the topic is also so relevant
This is such an important topic - the stressful boredom of life within a larger unsatisfactory or unstable framework. It DOES feel suffocating, and I think it's important to speak about such things openly, directly, and honestly. I appreciate your insight on this.
Hi. Im 50 too and have 2 young kids like you. I am from the U.K but have lived in Tokyo then Okinawa for 20 years with my Japanese wife and kids. I totally understand your perspective having lived in Japan for so long. Happiness can be difficult for some people living in Japan...but change is always possible no matter how old you are. Your life could have been shit and monotonous for decades....doesn't mean it has to be tomorrow or the day after. I am a big advocate of having a hobby. I am also taking my kids to gakudo ( after school ) and football club everyday and weekend but I love photography and make sure when they are playing football I get in an hour or 2 of photography. I love meeting my friends at the weekend and going drinking at Izakayas, I left my family and long term friends back in the U.K but strive to enjoy my life here. You say you don't have depression and I believe you, but I feel you could do more to make your own life better. Just because 40 something percent have the same feelings doesn't mean that's it..case closed... it's impossible to change. It is totally possible to change starting today or tomorrow, next week...do something different, be proactive. I really hope you find something that brings you happiness...if not get down to Okinawa for a weekend...I'll take you out and show a good time!!!💪👍
it is a bit of a relief when your kids get out on their own. you still have to worry about them though because there is still so much for them to learn and figure out when they get out into the real world.
@@loganl5408 It works for selfish people. That's for sure. A world that revolves around me all the time would have me selfish as ever. Kids keep you grounded and you remind you life is bigger than your perspective.
@@rotweilerscholar1181 I've always seen having kids as being more selfish considering world population has exploded in the last 100 years. Plus you have kids for yourself, no? Because you want kids?
That was a great video. Thank you. I'm 47 in Canada with Japanese wife. Lucky that my income is enough to pay bills. I also have a midlife crisis and I help it by learning something new and ignoring our idiot government, and always put some savings to gold/silver/platinum each paycheck. Learning small skills like sharpening knives or polishing my car makes me happy. I also started growing hot peppers inside my house with grow light. I like being totally carefree when we come to Japan every year. My kids are young, just 5 and 6. Hope you can find a cure for your melancholy. -Nick
I believe boredom is a self-inflicted wound. Your advice here is criminally underrated. the solution to boredom is not working less, it's just working at some thing we want to do even if it seems trivial.
Thanks for posting this. We all struggle when we have kids and life indeed can become very boring. What you need is hobbies. Something that is fun, that gets you out of the house and ideally something that helps you to exercise. It can be anything, but learning to play a sport is usually one of the best things you can do. Golf, tennis, table tennis, hiking, whatever. In my case, it was tennis. I joined a tennis club when my kids were small and it is the best thing I’ve done in my life. Made a lot of new friends and also playing club competitions. I play at least twice a week and keeps me fit and happy. Now started playing golf also. Can’t play much golf yet because it takes a long time, but hoping to play more often when my kids have grown up. Currently hitting balls in the range to get better so I can play decently when I have more time. I feel so sorry for all the people who have no hobbies or passions. I don’t know how they get through life.
This is a mutual feeling from danish people, most of the hours of the week are reserved for work and little to nothing is left for hobbies and passions. A lot of my friends' hobbies range from "watching TV" to "Listening to music" - nothing wrong with that, but it paints the picture. A lot of my family members are "healthy", but not much going on apart from work and "hygge". Thank you for the video.
Also, my thinking changed dramatically when I turned 50. Suddenly I could not stop thinking about how little time was left. And that I needed to try to make that time of some worth. At least you do have children. For some people passing your experiences in to children can give meaning to life. But everyone is different and one cannot make generalisations about such things.
Just watched some videos with your kids, it means the world when a dad is lively in the household. Your kids will remember that shit man, I had few moments with my dad where we played together and they are cherished memories that I hold onto regardless of my relationship with him now. Please continue to stay strong, for your kids. In my current position, just having a child to care for seems like it would help me mentally. I'm almost jealous (I'm 25 so I have time but still). Please keep letting us know what life is like over there, I'm personally very interested.
I'm 22 years old from Serbia, and I feel like you, I basically have long and boring average day, sometimes I think I'm an old man in a young man's body. I used to be much more socially active before the pandemic, and after high school, I enrolled in a university, studying history every day. I wish I had a girlfriend or close friends, but that's basically impossible from me at this time, because I'm so much busy. BTW, I've checked your channel, and you have wonderful content there, sir. You still have bright future, with your wife and children; try to guide your children into becoming better at handling life crises, many parents seem not to focus at that at all. You will not regret it. Also, I subscribed to your channel. Wish you the best!
You need a bigger purpose. I bet you have a dream (like everyone) that you never worked 100% hard on. If you be honest to yourself and realize which dream it is, and finally commit to it, then you rekindle your life. I am betting on your success, cause if you are here watching videos and feel the same way as this guy, you are already onto something
Hey bro I was scrolling down the comments and saw your post and I felt like replying as my mum is Serbian but I am born in London and I can say most people here in the UK live the same life you describe in Serbia. Something has definitely happened everywhere. It's all become work and paying bills here and has definitely become worse since the pandemic. The UK used to have a lot more joy and life but it has disappeared. A few small percent of people in central London have great lives but for most it has become a daily boring chore. Many people are not happy here anymore, many Brits are leaving for Asia or somewhere else. All I want to say is there are definitely other people out there all over the world thinking the same way. Take care and all the best.
Hi, Croatian here. I'm surprised by your comment cause when I was travelling around Serbia people seemed happier and more friendly than in Croatia. I left Croatia and realised happiness is within you. Just need to try different things. Don't worry too much if you're 22 though. I was struggling in my 20s and have just started to figure it out now at 32. If you have an open mind and resist the distractions it's never too late turning your life around. Good luck bro 🍀
Hi. A mid life crisis is a very well known phenomenon in America, so much so that it is a pretty common reference in t.v. shows and movies. In a way I think you are doing better than most who feel a little empty in life because you keep up with your youtube channel daily in a healthy way. It is used kind of as a vlog with is really just a journal of sorts. You are able to voice your interests and concerns to people around the world. I have heard often from people older than me that apathy is probably our biggest enemy, and apathy develops slowly over time as you build a routine in life that you perform that no longer has anything new to show you. So boredom will follow. Maybe think about things that have intrigued you recently and consider if you can maybe learn and maybe even participate in that thing. Have a good day. I enjoy your videos.
Thanks for your comment. May be in Japan, everything is so peaceful and slow, which are good things but sometimes make us feel emptiness. I should go abraod.
Hi, Actually, I made a podcast episode about the 'midlife crisis' a while ago. Since I'm not personally experiencing it, I could only discuss it from an objective viewpoint. Hearing perspectives from Japanese individuals on this topic is incredibly valuable. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
Thank you for making this video. You've encouraged me to look ahead in my purpose(s) 10-20-50 years down the line and to consider how our social environment and national/world news cycle will grind us down over time if we let them My feeling is that only people with strong hearts and desire for purpose are the ones who struggle the most with fears & pain of meaninglessness may your journey proceed upwards from here
The problems that you speak of are happening in the UK too. No confidence or trust in government, a decline in living standards for most people on average to low incomes, businesses closing down, full time, non agency work difficult to find..hard to see a bright future for my grandchildren. Many people feel as you do, myself included. We can only hope things get better in the future
My first time to Japan last week. My observations especially in the cities, adults seemed rushed, tired, unhappy, and stressed. Also, school aged children hurrying to get to school and then long ride home on trains. Not a happy place, I am thinking most in the outlying areas have more relaxed and happier lives. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Also, most of the population appeared fit and trim but I have heard many adults drink and smoke a lot. I plan to go next year again, but maybe only to Osaka, Nara, Wakayama, and Okinawa.
Your English i amazing and I think you're a cool guy. Soon you will not feel so bored for example you have been very creative making this channel and well done bro. 💪🏼
Thank you for sharing your perspective. There are a lot of videos on the subject of Japan but they are mostly from western content creators, so this gives a more authentic view. I hope things get better in Japan!
Thank you for this. I understand what you are saying. Passion, inspiration, love and emotion are so important. Maybe try a new class. Anything to spark new ideas and happiness.
I'm American, turning 55 this week. I've felt this way for a while now, and I think it's mainly due to the fact that we're transitioning to a new phase of our lives. You realize your healthiest years are behind you, and you're pretty much done raising kids, but you've still got a bunch of time before retirement. You need to find a new purpose for your life, but you don't quite know what it is. It's been rough, but I think I'm finally starting to come out of it.
Since I couldn't afford a Porsche, I bought a surf skateboard at 53. I'm currently learning to skate... or kill myself on the board :) - but... somehow it's invigorating. Maybe it's the small steps... but I can totally empathize with you. I hope for you and everyone in this situation that you get out of it! For myself too :)
I'm 19. I'm an American. I constantly ask myself what's the point. I can work 16 hrs a day and would still barely be able to afford my own home. If it wasn't for my father letting me stay at his place for a bit to gather my resources, I'd be living in a car or tent, even though I work full time. Not only that, but family structure is crumbling nationally, so the idea of having one is very risky because the kids most likely won't have both parents stick together which is insanely damaging to them and hence to society. This nation has become a nightmare, some brave new world, ferenhiet, 1984 mix of horse 💩. There's cameras on every stop light. You're constantly being surveilled. Man, the list just doesn't end.
@@user-mj9lq9vp3wstill better than China. I'm sorry for you. Maybe do something out of the ordinary. Church, military, whatever. I have everything you might want (I'm twice as old, European) but my health is not that great. Choose an employer who pays for some excitement and purpose in your life.
Thank you for sharing. We all can feel that way at times. Just book yourself a holiday on a cruise and relax. You have to take time out to enjoy. Don’t take it so seriously. I am 45 and you have more than me. But, if i focus on what i don’t have it will just make me feel sad and helpless. Focus on positive thoughts and create positive energy. Watching and attending Tony Robbins seminars really helped me redirect the focus. 🧘🏻♀️ ❤
Man, I don't know your channel and this is the first video I'm watching from yours. We are all suffocating. I guess it is a worldwide crisis. I live in an European country. Same feeling (even though we do work less hours than in other countries). Nothing makes sense. Feeling emptiness since I'm 25 yo. I think people only realize the nonsense at the midd-age 40's or 50 years old, when their kids are becoming adults. But believe me, when you failed at the social achievement of building a family, you feel the crisis way before. I am personaly impressed to see a japanese man expresses his feelings that good. This is a very good thing in my opinion. Now, how to find sense / how can we feel better in this tough world ? We have to be creative. If we have time, if we make place in our agenda to get this time not only to think how to improve that situation, but also to create real link with other people. We need to meet more. We need to socialize (and not only for comparisons), we need to try new things, and find what can make us happy again. Or, at least, enjoying life a little bit. All ideas are welcome !
I visited Osaka and Kyoto last year and felt that most folks around me on the train, train stations, and just people walking around were stressed, unhappy and depressed. Not a lot of happy faces except for a few young women laughing on the streets.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and reflections with us. You touched me deeply and I feel with you so intensely. Don't give up, change! I did, too, at the very same age: Different job, started to articulate sadness, hopelessness, but also what makes me happy and joyful. I think change always starts with ourselves...the rest is to follow. But one thing is for sure: Life isn't perfect, for none of us. And it is sad that only from the age of about 50 we start to see clearly what we're missing: Love, affection, friendship. Go, go, go for it!!!
I understand what you are saying. Finding your purpose in life can be a life-long quest. Many of us never “find it”. You are not alone. Try to spend more time with your children, go to the park or library. They grow up so quickly, it may not feel like that now but blink and they are teenagers, not too interested in hanging out with The Parents. Which is OK, they should be out socializing with their friends. So try to be with them now. Find a hobby or interest that you enjoy and feels fulfilling. Yes, the value of the yen is dropping and daily life might feel boring and uninteresting, so find your own path (you are a father), something that sparks your interest. Best of luck to you.
Thank you for your openness and honesty. I am visiting Japan from Australia for a month with my wife and one of my adult sons. I have heard that Japanese working hours are long (compared with Australia) but you didn't mention this aspect. We are staying in Hakuba and rented a car for our time here. We drove to Itoigawa and visited the Oyashirazu brick tunnel, walked through it, and climbed hundreds of steps. Our hearts were pumping and our lungs were bursting. It felt great to be alive. It was in Golden Week yet there were only a handful of others enjoying this amazing experience. Take your son and daughter to places like this. Savour the joy through their eyes. Get back to basics. Find somewhere like Oyashirazu near where you live. I wish you the best!
I hear you, I went to school in Japan at Tokyo Uni, we are about the same age. The honesty ab out your feelings is very compelling, feel free to write and get in touch whenever you want to touch base with foreing people. I have to say tho, my time in Japan is definitely some of the best time I've had in my life.
Japan is a fun place to go on holiday... but if you're there to work - it can be hell. It really depends on the company you work for though. If you're in a bad one, they'll attempt to bully and slave-drive you while skirting labor laws. Being a foreigner I always knew I could walk away at any moment though... and I did.
MAN looks damn good to be 50 y old
Thanks
no way. he could pass for 30
@@summerwinter89 he said he is around 50 in the video
japanese people are known for not aging
@@rihan449 most Asians don't crack ... lol
Secret to Happiness:
1. Something to do
2. Something to look forward to
3. Someone to love
Elvis Presley said this back in the day.
And sadly in this sick modern world, so many are lacking all three
As if number 3 was accessible to everyone, especially middle aged men.
@@Mythdoubt lots of ladies and dudes (if you're into that) out there :)
@@bleuet3897fat ones.
“Most men lead lives of quiet desperation" - Henry David Thoreau
The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation. From the desperate city you go into the desperate country, and have to console yourself with the bravery of minks and muskrats. A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind. There is no play in them, for this comes after work. But it is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things
@@tikkiu7345 Who cares? Thoreau was a mooch. His mommy paid for his meal for those two years, two months, and two days, and he borrowed land from Ralph Waldo Emerson, on and on. What good are his critiques?
@@LetsGo_Brandon Got out of bed on the wrong side did you, go out and smell the fresh air and watch the tree blow in the winds. 🙄
I never heard of the guy, but I like the line.. it is characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things. Like comment your comment on UA-cam, a desperate attempt for attention perhaps? Don't be so bitter you put yourself in hell, for what? What do you gain from being such a bitter person, with hatred toward someone you never knew personally? Who cares what he did? Are you his judge? You shouldn't be because there is only ONE judge and ONE lawgiver, and it ain't you.
He has a wife that risked her health twice to gave birth and is sacrificing her time to take care of their children, but for this man it’s still not good enough.
Henry thought he was hot shit with his little cabin.
At the age of 53 I ate a 🍄and I saw the world through new eyes. Grabbed my kid's bike and rode it several miles back to the old neighborhood where I grew up. I hit the handball courts and spoke with random people and enjoyed the beauty of being alive in a way I had forgotten. Why did I ever stop? Why did I get into a dull routine of work/home/work/home and nothing else? The world didn't change, I did. It's always there, always welcoming you to live a life that makes you happy.
Me too, I read this book that was like a 🍄. It basically states we are in a 💭 dream, like all this is an illusion , a matrix of codes that seem real but it’s all in our head.
Just a side note. You don’t need a fungi or radical life decisions to get there
@@Maayraa111 What book did you read?
@@AndrewKrivtsovyou don't need it but it accelerates your progress
you live within a few miles where you grew up? Maybe shrooms didn’t help that
It's rare to see such honest opinion from Japanese people, really appreciate your honesty about the situation and your feelings
Thanks for your comment
Oh just because he is Japanese shut up
Maybe because he is older, speaks english and the channel is small so he is safer
@@leisiyox lol it's not like they are going to assassinate him
@@user-jf5gl2yb6h ofc not but criticise online? yes
I’ve lived in Japan for almost 30 years and it’s really refreshing to hear a Japanese man speak so openly and candidly.
Yep, it’s quite rare for Japanese. Lived there for 15+ yrs …
Yes, and showing face clearly without wearing a mask or editing the voice or something.
That's pretty sad considering this isn't a controversial topic....
New York City native living in Osaka 31 years in July.
Agree fully: Japanese men are conditioned not to discuss their feelings because as we know this culture considers it “complaining (notice how in the beginning he makes it clear he isn’t depressed…).” The people have willingly ignored a lot of problems, and not confronting their government by having no plans for the future: it’s coming to a head.
He may beJapanese but he sounds American. May have lived in the US.
I am 41-years-old man from Finland. I felt the same along time in my life. I have a degree in economics and marketing major. I was in a relationship with my ex-wife back then and working in a big company after collage. I was making good money and had a good looking woman but I felt very unhappy. Then (luckily) I got divorced 2013 and I was 30 at that time. First it was really hard to figure out what to do in my life. Then step by step I learned the things that are important to me. I started to play guitar, started a own business, went to singing classes, travelled to a lot of different countries and now everything is more that great.
I am single, no kids and I can do the things I love to do but it took like 10 years to get here. I started to write diary and slowly figure out what is my thing in life. I think because of all this "noise" in our lifes it is really hard to find youself these days. I takes lonelyness and time to master youself and I think that is the most important thing in life... to find youself...
Really good video. Thanks
thanks for your comment.
lol i can't help but think your advice here is to divorce and leave kids/wife
Dude I’m sorry but how do you have a hot wife and not want to immediately put a kid on her 😭😭 and how could u find ur life boring omfg I’m so jealous I literally want your life in your 20s especially you being a white fit dude like bro I’m an ugly black lesbian lmfao
Most important thing in life=have kids. He literally explained in the video about population decline. Personally I don't fear it because there will be a natural equilibrium at some point and the economy and everything will figure out how to equalize
@@arthurvilkas7815 yes but _when_ will the equilibrium be reached, and after how much pain...
Another thing is, this point in time we are exposed to news and social media, we see all the negative news in a clump! Sometimes its best to switch off and go for a walk in nature. Focus on the good in your own life.
Wow, thanks
Depressing Story Time: From 2018 - 2022 I was stationed in Iwakuni, Japan in the US Marines. One of my side-quests was being a Finance nerd off to the side for the unit (yes, we do math in the Marines sometimes). I befriended the civilian comptroller (finance boss) Mr. Fujita a kind 50-year-old Japanese dude. He would get so happy when he saw me. Always telling me about fishing trips and inviting me. One day he heard I was leaving back to the US. He was visibly sad.
He began to tell me about how he used to live in New York and California. But he purposely overstayed his VISA. Because of that, he was barred from re-entry. He began to tell me how boring life was in Japan and how the culture made him feel dead inside. The last time he felt alive was 25 years ago, when he was a 25 year old in the US studying. I think about him all the time when people try gloating about how "perfect" Japan is.
Honestly, after this video, I think I need to find his email again and reach out. I feel like a POS for not doing so at the time and only thinking about it now. I was caught up in my own world. Something as basic as "Hey man, let's keep in touch" would have gone a long way.
Men struggle a lot in Japan and it can be rough. That said, if any Japanese homies need a friend or contact when visiting SoCal (California), message me here or on Instagram (@sinlow_music just shoot me a message) & I'll 1000% be your tour guide.
Be safe and remember the grass isn't greener on the other side. It's green where you water it.
That last line hits deep
sending you and mr fujita some love
Complete opposite for me. Can’t wait to leave the US.
@@workshop1668 You think that until you leave the US for a few years. Then you’ll understand what he’s saying in a painful way. By all means try it, it adds character. And there ARE better countries than the US. It’s just Japan isn’t always one
Thanks for your comment.
Having lived and worked in your country for a while as a foreigner, I am surprised you are just feeling this at 50. Japanese work culture is so extreme, it forces the individual to give up their life. The irony is you're surrounded by people all the time but it still feels so isolating...
its not only in japan. its the same in western countries if you work a low income job and dont belong to the middle class.
i work in a supermarket and my life is boring af. i go from work to watching tv or reading at home because i have no free time anymore. and not enough money to enjoy life in real life instead of virtual.
the last time i had vacation outside my country was over 20 years ago.
@@DanielRumbacheri do the same as middle class, living the dream they say. I’m glad I have a roof over my head but my days are spent working then home. Which I’m totally fine with but the work culture of 9-5 is such a backwards thing to have you work your life only to enjoy retirement on your last legs.
@@DanielRumbacher Japan is much worse than you can imagine. You have time after work to read? A Japanese man does not. You are at work from early in the morning to late in the night all week long, when you get off work you are forced to immediately attend the mandatory afterwork drinking and social activities with your boss and other employees. If you fail to, you are not a team player and risk your career prospects. Some men don't even make it home at night.
It's so bad at times that Japanese companies will arrange relationship partners for you because you don't have time for that either.
@@stephenallen224 In Taiwan, many companies have these things called "make up days". If a nationwide holiday falls on a weekday, workers are expected to make up for it by coming in on a Saturday or Sunday. But yeah, sh*t sucks.
not everyone in japan has to work that hard, there are many exceptions. and the after work drinking is going to disappear in the future because young people dont want to do it anymore.
i know people who live in japan. they all tell me that the trade is that japanese people work more hours, but they dont have to work that hard like in the west. in the west you work less hours but you have to work hardcore. in japanese companies many people pretend to work hard when in fact they do nothing at all or they even sleep at work. so not every hour at work is spent working there.
the only bad thing is the after work drinking. and that is going to disappear in the future.
I can relate to this, I also have unsure feelings like “is this it?” and I feel like there should be more.
Emptiness is a lack of appreciation and a lack of ability to "feel" rather thank think. When you are older you will be nostalgic for your children when they were young. Ignore the news and hug your children.
He feels FLAT mentally. Hence the boredom. It’s not about a lack of activity in his life (which he has the free will to do but doesn’t) his lifelessness & stale mentality destroys his motivation. He’s begging for *mental stimulation* … which is why ppl use illegal drugs. And ppl question why ppl use narcotics
The problem with narcotic users is they _often_ lack doing other activities, they focus too much on the drugs & are too much of home-bodies. My answer may be very non-PC but I’m fine with it cause it’s honest
I also think his issue is a major reason why su!c!d€ rate is high in his country… something they don’t get to the bottom of! Everyone wants the politically correct prudent answer
We need to work productively for 4 days on monday to Thursday and rest for 3 days (hobbies, passion,celebration with friends) from Friday to Sunday this should be the new norm. Who's on board?
I'm on board. The board of directors from major corporations would not, sadly.
@@fujithegreat6069 of course they won't cause they too greedy and use fear tactics propaganda to divide and prevent us from developing our potential but if we are the majority pushing this new norm they will no choice then to submit to our will soon or later.
Of course they won't cause they too greedy using fear tactics propaganda to divide and prevent us from developing our potential but if we are the majority pushing this new norm they will have no choice then to submit to our will soon or later.
You're fired.
Are you willing to accept 20% paycut? Besides, many employers already offer 80% or 60% workweek upon request in an exchange for a smaller salary.
Y'all let's all support this man, everyone comment to make this video go viral 💪
Thanks for your comment. I will do my best
❤
agreed
let’s go!!! (my great grandpa who fought for the US in WWII doesn’t agree tho)
In America people feel the same way.
It’s not that the younger generation doesn’t care about politics, they mostly see it as exploitation for money, discouraged from participating from the powerless feeling thinking about it gives them, I am sure they aren’t alone. Your English is very good brother, thank you for speaking on this.
They dont care about politics but politics have literally brainwashed every aspect of their life. Maybe they should care more
I’ve just reached my 43, a divorced man with no kid. So far to me is fantastic to me as I’m learning how to cherish moments in life. I understand when I reach your age, physical & mental change may make us feel most challenging time in life. So, I guess that is part of our life that we need to be through.
Thanks for sharing. I can tell that you’re a good man & I wish you well to get through hard times!
I'm 33 now, Russian man, I know it might be different when I'm 50 but I believe a lot of unhappiness and lack of satisfaction comes from a few things:
1. High expectations. If you wanted something unreasonable in the first place, you'll suffer immensely, so we create unhappiness in our mind ourselves
2. Success ideology. People are infected with an idea that they should be successful businessmen and reach lots of things by a certain age. This is a kind of indocrination. People should find their own values in life, even if it's small like caring after animals/family/videogames
3. Political indocrination. I suppose that one is clear.
Wow, thanks
People r spoiled. I am a 53 man in America. I have a modern dead end job where I make good money for what I do. However, my role is beta at work. Many of my coworkers find it soul crushing. I am a casino worker.
The way I look at it is it is my job to have fun and enjoy every day. This is a choice. No doubt life is not as exciting as it was for me at 20. Get over it. Our lives are short. If u r bored, u won’t be here much longer anyway
@@chevy4x466Your choice to stay in the job too. You always have the choice to leave, who knows what might happen, could be good!
@@tikkiu7345 I often consider layoffs. I have many alternate plans. I would easily land on my feet and be probably making twice the money. I am raising kids. The project soon completed, I have one more payment on my house. My job has been good, I enjoy it.
My point is eventually people make a choice to be happy or not. I choose to enjoy my life, not envy what another may have
Especially in japan and USA
I turned 50 this year, and sometimes I feel the same way. Life is about choices and goals; we navigate from one objective to another, all while trying to survive in this chaotic world. I've changed my way of living many times. I'm South American and tried to work there for many years. After that, I lived in Japan for 5 years as I am of Japanese descent. I worked in assembly lines and other jobs at factories and tried to open my own business. I failed a couple of times and gave up on the idea of living in Japan as I didn't see myself 'progressing' in my life. Now I've been living in Australia for about 15 years. When I arrived here, I didn't speak any English, but I worked my way up from an English school to earning my PhD. I worked in several jobs (cleaner, laborer, driver, etc.) to pay my bills because I knew this was the only way I had to reach my goal. There was a sense of accomplishment after finishing my doctorate. Now, I am teaching at a university here. However, despite all these 'victories,' at the same time, I feel an immense emptiness. In just one month, I'll become a father, and I feel a bit lost. I'm trying to organize my thoughts because I know my family depends on me to keep going. The cost of living here has skyrocketed, and I continue receiving the same wage. I need a break, but I can't take one. Unfortunately, life is this way. So many things that we cannot control. So, to sum up, I won't give up, and neither should you. You'll find the motivation, just like I will find mine! Cheers!!
Amazing, what do you teach?
Thanks for sharing. Amazing story! I think you need another big challenge in your life.
@@human-ft3wk IT subjects
@@blackcurrantpop sure!👍👍
also in aussie (your english is superb by the way!) and cost of living has definitely gone up :(( hope you're holding up okay, i'm sure the uni kids who learn from you are blessed!
Loneliness is a huge huge problem in U.S.A for those aged 50+
It's a problem all ages groups world wide. Filling a void that cannot be full but by one thing.
@@tikkiu7345 Potatoes
Thank you for your moving and emotionally honest video. I felt so sad when you said 'the people are suffocating.' It is great that you are addressing this type of feeling and so important to hear men, especially, speaking about how life is for them. I always find going to walk in nature helps me get perspective and is refreshing. Urban environments can be especially oppressive if there is no time for recuperation in nature. Good luck with everything.
Im 45 without children. I understand your sentiments. What keeps me going is my interior life and niche interests.
Spirituality also very important. I led a very adverse and narrow life experience. It is no better here in Australia.
I wish you all the best. Try not to allow news and economy to upset and demoralise
I am 45 and also without children and it is the same here in Slovenia - EU. It keeps me going when I try really hard to find the way to get women in my life. After trying so many things I am finally on something...
Wish you keep your interest , take care , I got some problems as well but still keep going
@@Goodman849 seems that the likes of sunak and johnson love ukranians more than their own citizens. but these people have no concept of real life, a bit like king charles who got diagnosed at a private clinic on harley street. they did not have to ring a GP in the morning and try to get through triage by reception...
Do you guys regret having no children at 45?
I’m 26, and I feel like I’m gonna be without children as we’ll, or a partner
I'm 43. Had 2 young girls. Yet the abusive mother abducted them to another country so they cannot see me. That's very painful. In my case no kids would have been less painful. No woman would have been less pain. The only positive reproduction genetic legacy. On balance you could argue better off not. Women really can hide who they really are long enough to get what they want. Like Jekyll and Hyde @@klirmio21
This gentleman's generation was the lost generation in Japan. His life was likely a significant struggle with little capacity for joy or optimism. But I'm glad he has a family, that can be a source of joy when you need it most. Stay strong brother.
What happened to his generation?
His generation never discovered LSD
@@shaheedharun445 hell yea I loved california lots of tripping
@@TaiyouArt i lived in southern Cal, but found more acid in Virginia
Thanks for making this video. Mid life crises is a real thing and from my experience, 45yrs old living in the US, stepping outside of your comfort zone zone as often as possible can make a huge difference in one’s quality of life. Don’t be afraid of trying new things, meeting new people. No, the current economy doesn’t help and the news is always bad but don’t focus on those things and get creative. Keep moving ahead! 😊
Thoughtful and insightful look into your life, thank you for sharing! I’m pushing 60 and have had a great life though many challenges like everyone else, also I’d say I have had luck with me. No abuse, no mental health issues, semi normal family etc..This is a huge topic, worthy of like an online forum or chat series. I think each person has things that could help them along the journey, unique to them. Learning who you really are helps everyone yet is elusive. Connecting with the divine is critical, not religion, but divinity …love rules all sounds cliche but is so true. Getting a life long or new hobby / pursuit that you really enjoy also helps. Being in nature, taking extra self care during the day like maybe looking at beautiful photos or art. All the small things re define your mood and happiness… hope that helps a little!
I think many people around the world resonate with what you have said in this video. I'm a 34 year old living in Houston, Texas and I feel the same way as you have described. In fact, most everyone that I know feels this way. The toxic political climate, economic issues seem to put such a weight on everyone that it's difficult to not feel emptiness. People want to live happy lives, but we have so many distractions and responsibilities that it's almost impossible to catch a break. Even in our news we have to decipher what the truth is... it's exhausting.
I appreciate the genuine video, and I'm glad that it was suggested to me. You don't see too many of these types of videos on social media anymore!
you may not like the choice between Trump and the establishment but the republican party is basically entirely reforming because of the economic climate, and the establishment is attacking Trump because of the threat his followers represents. If the world weren't in such a bad economic situation, the politics wouldn't be the way they are.
Hello Brandon, I also have lived in Houston but left 15 years ago. Terrible place to live - the crime, politics, traffic, weather, the city is broke, etc. Even now, my heart goes out to those residents that once more are trapped in a 500-year flood that seems to fall on Houston every couple of years. I hope that you can escape that place of tropical depression. Not the full answer, of course, but it is a good start.
I am 31 in Sydney Australia and utterly fed up with everything. All I want is community and connection with people and nature, and that's impossible to find in this crazy modern world.
I'm in NYC, and it's hell unless you're a billionaire. This sucks!
This has become very common after everyone took the vaccseen. Either yall are starting to regret you took it or its lowkey effecting you. People arent the same as even last year
hey man, im a teenager but ive noticed that my parents went through the midlife crisis phase. they ended up finding hobbies to both stay fit and enjoy themselves a bit more. now theyre going on walks every day for 30 minutes and play badminton every weekend and ive noticed how theyre feeling better.
another thing that ive learned is that japan has an overworking problem, meaning that you wake up, eat, go to work, come back home, sleep. you basically have no hobbies and therefore often no social life. the social life you usually have is in bars really drunk. in my opinion, "healthier" hobbies other than drinking should be normalised like mountain biking, hiking, and more to improve the social problems for Japanese citizens. another thing that should be normalised is shorter workdays since overworking is so normal there which ive mentioned previously. with the increased amount of free time, people can find hobbies which would both drive the economy stronger since consumerism has been increased to fill the longer times off work and make the people happier.
edit: as someone pointed out, the reason i mentioned hiking and mountain biking/biking is because japan, in general, has very varied terrain which would make such activities both fun and challenging. even if you prefer to bike around more active places (cities, towns), japan has good infrastructure for biking so it shouldn't really be an issue there.
Thanks for your comment. Walking is nice idea because many elderly start when they turn 50-60
and also the overworking is draining the person physically and mentally the whole week , which doesnt give any space to enough rest and then doing some interesting activities in the weekend or even during the week as a whole
Walking and badminton sounds so boring
@@benhallo1553 I can swear to you that playing badminton is very funny and can be violent, you move very fast and you have to get great reflex...but yes, walking can be boring
@@benhallo1553 You should try it. Nature walks, pick up a sport or something. It is very relaxing and good both mentally and physically for you.
I am in Australia and resonate with this. Our housing is so unaffordable, that most young people will rent their whole lives. They cannot afford children. So they wonder, why engage in the workforce when there is no reward? Why vote when all political parties are the same self serving boomers who don't care cause they got theirs? There is no hope
Australia voted in a nanny state, but did not vote out brutal capitalism.
I am 31 and in Australia too. This place is nothing like it was when growing up. I have had a gutful of work too and ready to throw in the towel and just try to enjoy my life the best I can whilst everything else falls apart around me.
why is age significant? would you say that ww2 was started by a 50 year old?
sounds just like america
No offence tho you love in the most beautiful place you can try living in England it's 10 times more depressing
Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your thoughts and feelings and for speaking with integrity.
It is good for people to hear these words.
I've found the best way to keep it all in perspective is to garden, growing new life and being in tune with the seasons.
I've just started doing that, I have beetroot, broad beans, spring onions and corn. They've only just sprouted but there's something so pleasant about seeing little stems break the soil.
@@ReallyfastwindsUnbelievable My garden theme this year is exotic melons. I have 5 different varieties planted.
Interesting
Actually, I did the same, that's funny
Definitely. Spending time in nature is always so invigorating.
I watch a lot of “what it’s like to live in Japan” videos; most of them glowingly positive. This is an important reminder that life happens to you everywhere, even in Japan.
Life everywhere is basically the same game if friends, money, hobbies, work, etc.
Different lands bring Just a change of scenery nothing more nothing less
For sure. We bring ourselves to every situation, and a place is just a place. Japan is interesting and I've been there several times for work, but no way I'd want to live there. Too much city and too many people.
@@maalikserebryakov True that the "game" is the same anywhere, but some countries or regions have different work cultures. For example in Japan and China, the extreme work culture doesn't allow for people to have much of a life outside of work. It has some very negative effects on the general population.
*Capitalism* happens to you everywhere, *especially* in Japan
@@frederikbh1 And a lot more BAD life happens to you in places where capitalism is suppressed.
Hey man. I came across your video. I want to tell you that I understand how you feel and I am pulling for you to succeed. Brighter days are ahead. I believe in you. Thanks for your honesty
This happens to almost everybody. When you have met your early life goals, you have to set some new ones. I struggle with this too. Get outside.... take up running, cycling, Kendo or anything but move your body and get out in the fresh air somewhere. Its hard to be bored when fully physically active.
I visited Tokyo last December and one thing I can say for sure is that people are the same no matter where you go. When I go to work in New York I like to look at peoples' faces in the morning when nobody is watching and the stress of going back to work after a day off is universal lmao.
True
I think Marcus Aurelius said something like, "The quality of your thoughts determines the quality of your life." Mid life crisis is extremely common. We discover that all we strived for when younger is not as fulfilling as we thought. Our thoughts determine our perspectives on life. Unfortunately, we have been brainwashed by tradition and societal norms that if you do this you will be happy ever after and if not, you are a failure. You must investigate these biases, determine whether they are appropriate to you personally, and then go on a self reflective journey to find out what is most important to you. This is not easy. Second, bad news is part of life and completely out of your control. Accept it and realize that mainstream media only shows you a tiny tiny fraction of reality. Extreme negativity is as delusional as extreme optimism. Reality is vastly more nuanced. Best wishes to you. ❤
!00%
This comment might be good for the video creator but for most people they just desire the fundamentals of life and they are being denied. It is really not a matter of quality of thoughts for them. As Chappelle said: Go tell a starving child that his problem is that he has a bad attitude about starving to death.
The Buddha knew the same stuff.
@@jackmiddleton2080 I have noticed that many people in these countries, regardless of their situation, are often laughing and happy with a very tight knit community. Their life is a continuous struggle but many of them find comfort in each other. Sure, some are in total despair but that's not "most people". There are decades of research out there into this and even today, with the happiness index, we see many poor countries at the top of that list. Obviously, they have a mountain of problems but for the most part, finding happiness in life isn't one of them.
@@ghoulbby Right, because evolution prepared us for certain hardships but it never prepared us to work in a factory and live alone.
Thanks for sharing. Social media and news made life exponentially miserable. It’s inevitable I guess.
I would cry if I saw my dad post this. I feel for this man.
I visited Tokyo last year and felt that most folks around me on the train, train stations, and just people walking around were stressed, unhappy, and depressed. Not a lot of happy faces except for a few young women laughing on the streets.
and that few young women are from another country
"except for a few young women laughing on the streets."
Scary but this is why Asian men who go amok often attack women.
There was a guy making the same remark in Korea who said "I attacked them because they looked happy".
Very unhappy men taking out their anger, feeling society has fcked them.
I used to live in tokyo but now I'm out. Now I'm living in the rural area with my own family and my parents and feeling happier at the moment.
It's insane how so many comments got deleted. Censorship is real by video author.
According to United Nations statistics, the happiness level of Japanese women is quite high.
The suicide rate, death rate from overwork, and depression rate are all much higher for Japanese men than for Japanese women.
I'm a foreigner from the US currently living and working here in Hokkaido in one of those 'disappearing' cities you mentioned. The population in my town is less than 5,000 people. To be honest there is not much fun stuff to do here, most ppl are either young kids or elderly, and some Hokkaido people are not that friendly to foreigners. Life here has been hard and lonely. I'm ready to move to a bigger city like in Osaka or Kanagawa. I'm grateful for my job and having a roof over my head, but my circumstances have seriously affected my mental health. It's comforting to know there are ppl who are experiencing similar things. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and hope you can find joy and fulfillment in your life.
u are not alone bro
is moving back to the US not an option?
I moved from a small dead town in rural Japan to Tokyo and it was the best thing ever for my mental heath lmao
@@icwiener9935Why would someone leave an entire country because they live in a small town?
Maybe they're in that country because they like it, otherwise they wouldn't be looking at big cities as alternatives to live in.
@@icwiener9935returning to the US is always an option, just a very bad one.
Your candidness is very enlightening, it gives me, a bloke from Wales, a perspective that we’re very much the same the world over, the same frustrations and challenges half a world away. Diolch yn fawr.
My friend, thank you for sharing this with us. Many of us here in America feel like you do. This shows how alike all of us humans are 🙏
Boredom is a civilizational disease.
Ive lived in the wild and i can tell you i havent had a single boring day.
People are trained to do one thing.
Be consumers.
Go to shopping malls or internet websites and just spend money.
So no wonder we feel empty inside.
I feel like boredom is a complicated topic. I feel like if you're trying to "cure" it (usually by consuming digital media), your life becomes more boring than ever, but if you become comfortable with being bored, you'll inevitably arouse your creativity and make your life more interesting.
@@Johnnyvtg Its not complicated.Boredom comes from living a unnatural life.
@@Johnnyvtg Yeah im not sure how people become "comfortable" with boredom.
Agree. Many countries are over developed.
Living in the wild sounds like fun, and, "Yeah, I'm not sure how people become 'comfortable' with boredom." Once you reach higher levels of consciousness and realize that you have come here to experience the world, every and any situation, no matter how important, how small or big it is, boredom disappears. You begin to understand that all experiences are equal; we are the ones "scoring" different situations as better or worse than others, but in reality, it's all the same. It's all you experiencing the world in different manners or aspects. Rather than viewing life through the lens of mundane tasks or tedious moments, you begin to see each experience as an opportunity for growth and understanding. This shift in perception allows you to embrace even the seemingly mundane aspects of life with a sense of wonder and appreciation. Moreover, this realization challenges the notion of boredom itself. Instead of seeing boredom as an inherent feature of certain situations, you recognize it as a byproduct of your own perception. By understanding that every experience contributes to your personal journey and growth, you can transcend the limitations of boredom and find fulfillment in even the simplest of moments. Furthermore, this perspective encourages a deeper connection with the world around you. Rather than seeking out excitement or novelty to escape boredom, you learn to find beauty and meaning in the present moment. Whether it's observing the intricate patterns of nature or reflecting on the complexities of human interaction, every experience becomes an opportunity for self-discovery and connection. Also i could say that Boredom represents the concept of not being fully awake in this world, once you are fully awake you no longer need to seek out for nothing, as the world around you is no longer interesting you realise that what trully "matters" is in the spiritual realm, right next to the "source of all creation". This is just a phase to be experienced, to learn and grow from, so nothing is really boring maybe you need to slow down you mind ^_^.
日本人が公の場で直接発言するのは珍しい。とても良いお話しだと思います。
Use English, or piss off
❤
I know this is cultural, but this is a problem, you need to talk, helps a lot
Same here in Norway. I think it's mostly an Anglosphere thing, and I think they got it right.
そうですね珍しい!それが変わることを願っています
i am 28 living here in the third world. no kids, no wife, no properties, just a used 2012 model car and bunch of scooters,
my gf left me after 4 years.
now i have nothing to do in my life.
btw im just earning 1k dollar a month or less.
im not happy.
This was informative, authentic and clear. This is what the internet should become. Good job.
I legit thought you were late 30s or early 40s, not 50. Keep it up, dude.
I thought he was 12 🤯
We gotta enjoy what we got while we have it, your a good man and you got us watching and supporting you. Stay strong brother.
Thanks for your comment. It may be just one time bad mood but 50's must be very difficult time in our lives.
@@askjapan9669 I am 47 years old and I havenot kids and I am feeling good.
@@askjapan9669 Its a culmination of all of your choices and the lack of freedom you are left with in that short time until retirement. I can only imagine the thought process. I hope you find a hobby to love and enjoy your life, you've worked so hard.
I'm in my 30s in the US but I've seen so much about your midlife crisis, and have also learned many good things. Stay strong bro!
Hello, I am a 24 years old who lived in France and west Africa ( Côte d’Ivoire) and wanted to share with you that you are not alone. Many many men in Africa and Europe feel the same way that you do, but men because we are not expected to share our feelings we just ignore it.
We pretend everything is fine when it’s not. So I am very happy to see your video and I will share it
This is so insightful. I follow many foreign UA-camrs making videos about Japan but they only talk about the good things and that makes Japan look like heaven. Good to hear some honest words coming from a Japanese man.
Wow, thank you for sharing. I've been residing in Japan for six years already. Honestly, I feel the urge to travel elsewhere, or else I fear I might lose my sanity. There are moments when I question if I'm still human or simply functioning as an ATM. Perhaps it's time to embark on a journey.
Thank you for your video, I appreciate your honesty and simplicity. God bless you.
Thanks for sharing your story, congratulations on reaching level 50!
Sendign you love man. Thank you for so much honesty. Also you look AMAZING for 50 dude WOW!
Thanks for your comment. I will do my best
you might have no idea how helpful this video is for people like me trying to understand more about my father and his behavior
I am 63 and retired at 60. This hit me a couple of years ago. It feels like a late mid-life crisis. I feel like making big changes in my life but am cautious that it may just look like the grass is greener on the other side. I have already experienced this a couple if times recently n my life. Interestingly, I feel my crisis is making me more distant from family, friends and my spouse. I think this is a symptom of depression. I feel a sense of inertia because I don't know what to think or what to do about my situation. I try to count my blessings because I know I am very well off compared to many, many people in the world and have much to be thankful for,
It is probably not in my place to give any "advice" or "criticism" but I have had life transforming events happen to me recently and I want to say that some of the best changes happen when you create a sense of urgency for yourself.
Thank you for sharing your story.
HI! i have cronicle depression im well today but i been suffering very much,im a optimist person, im a dancer i see the beauty in the middle of the caos, and i try to embrasse the estoic and budist philosophy im from Argentina,so the economy here NEVER been estable. im 33 years old and sometimes i really want to quit this life,sometimes for the same as you,sometimes for the pain,but i think we are here to teach and learn from each other thats why inside of me im still be a child who works and plays. Never give up i you fall sometimes,get up and continue do your best and enjoy it, ENJOY IT . I really admire your country for the martial arts like Kendo ( im practice that) the discipline and the arts warms my soul. if you let me advice you,learn something new or try something diferent in your routine. ありがとう
Hello Mr. AskJapan. I’m Japanese-American and in my mid-forties. I had a major panic attack two years ago and I think about mostly existential issues these days. Thank you for your video and I hope you can find some sort of “ikigai” or passion to help you through your life journey.
Only the Christ can fill your emptiness. You live in America. Find Him when you can.
“God, if you exist, I must know you. Save my soul, if I have one.” A prayer from an atheist Jew. The Christ answered her. You have a Creator and a Savior, do you know that?
I get a lot of mileage out of the following quote: "It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society".
sending love mate, keep working on yourself you will get there brother
This is happening everywhere ... humans need to be free, not slaves to some corporation
there is some truth in that
1984 - George Orwell . Written in 1949 and as powerful then as it is now. Everybody should read it , especially in these times!
I appreciate your reflection and insight. Arigato gozaimasu. Thank you. Tell your family hello from 🇺🇸
No idea how i found this as a 17 year old in Sweden but sucks to see that the older generations are struggling as well. A lot of gen-z likes to think that life is soooo much easier for people born before us but apparently it's always been hard for most people unless you're born into wealth. Good luck man and i hope you find something you enjoy doing!
Life can be hell even for those born into wealth. I saw a documentary about young adults born into billionaire families. They grew up getting everything they wanted and waste all their time partying and have no real purpose or meaning in life. Depressed alcoholics.
@@jimb12312I’m not religious but I understand why people are. Life feels utterly meaningless sometimes.
I wouldn't say people had it easier, but I would say that it was "easier" to find meaning, and they, and my generation to a large extent, lived much more in tune with "natural order", I feel bad for Gen Z, way too sheltered by helicopter parents and the level of state sponsored brainwashing they throw at your guys is shocking...
Things were easier before Gen Z (trust me, I am an older millineal, just turned 40) but Japan is a special case where the bad things happening in the west already started much earlier in Japan.
We are all struggling with the dystopian world that has emerged over the last 30 years. I am a younger boomer and, even though I am in ok shape financially and have hobbies, it is depressing how disconnected people have become from each other when connection is the key to a joyful life. Life is meaningless without connection to our fellow human beings. I saw this change start at the end of the 80's and slowly lead to where we are now lamenting the decline the whole way. My only advice to my younger Swedish brother is to try to find people you can develop a deep connection with and you will have a meaningful life regardless of the noise around you. Be well.
Thank you for sharing. I believe the crisis feeling is no longer a mid-life thing. I am in my mid-twenties and I feel the same as you. I have a good enough job, friends and family. I am healthy and fit. But at the end of the day, me and the average person is stuck in this endless loop of: wake up, school/work, go home, and repeat. There just seems like there isn't enough time to do anything you want. Plus, it doesn't help when social media promotes people who portray themselves as living the live that you want, world events that are much bigger than your own personal problems, and people who are in similar situations telling you that they have it far worse than you. its like an endless one-up competition. It's just so tiring.
Working out, brief respites, and staying away from social media are the things that keep me sane.
Really love you and your videos. Your voice is so calming and it really helps my anxiety. Thank you for sharing your struggles with us ❤.
Wow thanks
Your English is really impressive - this is really fascinating to hear, your honesty is very refreshing. The news cycle has a grim impact on people's psychological wellbeing.
Try to give yourself the freedom and time to explore any activity or hobby that appeals to you. It's important to feel some creativity and autonomy from your own activities and pursuits in life too.
I'm studying both English and Japanese and interested in doing an exchange year in Japan, so I love listening to Japanese people who have just a normal Japanese accent speak English. Especially when the topic is also so relevant
You're a very skilled speaker and I guess you are only going through the natural reaction of the life cycle. Good luck.
This is such an important topic - the stressful boredom of life within a larger unsatisfactory or unstable framework. It DOES feel suffocating, and I think it's important to speak about such things openly, directly, and honestly. I appreciate your insight on this.
Hi. Im 50 too and have 2 young kids like you. I am from the U.K but have lived in Tokyo then Okinawa for 20 years with my Japanese wife and kids. I totally understand your perspective having lived in Japan for so long. Happiness can be difficult for some people living in Japan...but change is always possible no matter how old you are. Your life could have been shit and monotonous for decades....doesn't mean it has to be tomorrow or the day after. I am a big advocate of having a hobby. I am also taking my kids to gakudo ( after school ) and football club everyday and weekend but I love photography and make sure when they are playing football I get in an hour or 2 of photography. I love meeting my friends at the weekend and going drinking at Izakayas, I left my family and long term friends back in the U.K but strive to enjoy my life here. You say you don't have depression and I believe you, but I feel you could do more to make your own life better. Just because 40 something percent have the same feelings doesn't mean that's it..case closed... it's impossible to change. It is totally possible to change starting today or tomorrow, next week...do something different, be proactive. I really hope you find something that brings you happiness...if not get down to Okinawa for a weekend...I'll take you out and show a good time!!!💪👍
This sounds like normal parenthood. Apparently you get happier again once your kids grow up.
Not having kids is great too
@@loganl5408 until you're old enough to need help
it is a bit of a relief when your kids get out on their own. you still have to worry about them though because there is still so much for them to learn and figure out when they get out into the real world.
@@loganl5408 It works for selfish people. That's for sure. A world that revolves around me all the time would have me selfish as ever. Kids keep you grounded and you remind you life is bigger than your perspective.
@@rotweilerscholar1181 I've always seen having kids as being more selfish considering world population has exploded in the last 100 years. Plus you have kids for yourself, no? Because you want kids?
That was a great video. Thank you. I'm 47 in Canada with Japanese wife. Lucky that my income is enough to pay bills. I also have a midlife crisis and I help it by learning something new and ignoring our idiot government, and always put some savings to gold/silver/platinum each paycheck. Learning small skills like sharpening knives or polishing my car makes me happy. I also started growing hot peppers inside my house with grow light. I like being totally carefree when we come to Japan every year. My kids are young, just 5 and 6. Hope you can find a cure for your melancholy.
-Nick
I believe boredom is a self-inflicted wound. Your advice here is criminally underrated. the solution to boredom is not working less, it's just working at some thing we want to do even if it seems trivial.
Thanks for your comment.
Thanks for posting this. We all struggle when we have kids and life indeed can become very boring. What you need is hobbies. Something that is fun, that gets you out of the house and ideally something that helps you to exercise. It can be anything, but learning to play a sport is usually one of the best things you can do. Golf, tennis, table tennis, hiking, whatever. In my case, it was tennis. I joined a tennis club when my kids were small and it is the best thing I’ve done in my life. Made a lot of new friends and also playing club competitions. I play at least twice a week and keeps me fit and happy. Now started playing golf also. Can’t play much golf yet because it takes a long time, but hoping to play more often when my kids have grown up. Currently hitting balls in the range to get better so I can play decently when I have more time.
I feel so sorry for all the people who have no hobbies or passions. I don’t know how they get through life.
This is a mutual feeling from danish people, most of the hours of the week are reserved for work and little to nothing is left for hobbies and passions. A lot of my friends' hobbies range from "watching TV" to "Listening to music" - nothing wrong with that, but it paints the picture. A lot of my family members are "healthy", but not much going on apart from work and "hygge".
Thank you for the video.
Thank you for sharing your experiences. You are very insightful and articulate.
Thanks for your comment.
Also, my thinking changed dramatically when I turned 50. Suddenly I could not stop thinking about how little time was left. And that I needed to try to make that time of some worth. At least you do have children. For some people passing your experiences in to children can give meaning to life. But everyone is different and one cannot make generalisations about such things.
You just got a new subscriber! I love that you talk about important things and things that people probably usually don't talk about openly in Japan!
Just watched some videos with your kids, it means the world when a dad is lively in the household. Your kids will remember that shit man, I had few moments with my dad where we played together and they are cherished memories that I hold onto regardless of my relationship with him now. Please continue to stay strong, for your kids. In my current position, just having a child to care for seems like it would help me mentally. I'm almost jealous (I'm 25 so I have time but still). Please keep letting us know what life is like over there, I'm personally very interested.
I'm 22 years old from Serbia, and I feel like you, I basically have long and boring average day, sometimes I think I'm an old man in a young man's body. I used to be much more socially active before the pandemic, and after high school, I enrolled in a university, studying history every day. I wish I had a girlfriend or close friends, but that's basically impossible from me at this time, because I'm so much busy.
BTW, I've checked your channel, and you have wonderful content there, sir. You still have bright future, with your wife and children; try to guide your children into becoming better at handling life crises, many parents seem not to focus at that at all. You will not regret it.
Also, I subscribed to your channel. Wish you the best!
You need a bigger purpose. I bet you have a dream (like everyone) that you never worked 100% hard on. If you be honest to yourself and realize which dream it is, and finally commit to it, then you rekindle your life. I am betting on your success, cause if you are here watching videos and feel the same way as this guy, you are already onto something
Hey bro I was scrolling down the comments and saw your post and I felt like replying as my mum is Serbian but I am born in London and I can say most people here in the UK live the same life you describe in Serbia. Something has definitely happened everywhere. It's all become work and paying bills here and has definitely become worse since the pandemic. The UK used to have a lot more joy and life but it has disappeared. A few small percent of people in central London have great lives but for most it has become a daily boring chore. Many people are not happy here anymore, many Brits are leaving for Asia or somewhere else. All I want to say is there are definitely other people out there all over the world thinking the same way. Take care and all the best.
@@quadders9198 Thanks for comfort, I actually feel better now as I'm writing this
😅
Hi, Croatian here. I'm surprised by your comment cause when I was travelling around Serbia people seemed happier and more friendly than in Croatia. I left Croatia and realised happiness is within you. Just need to try different things. Don't worry too much if you're 22 though. I was struggling in my 20s and have just started to figure it out now at 32. If you have an open mind and resist the distractions it's never too late turning your life around. Good luck bro 🍀
I bet it'll go viral.
Thanks
I think so too, great video
youtube algorhythms blessed this guy
U were right
why
Mate, your channel is blowing up. Congratulations! Last time I visited your page you had half the subs.
Hi. A mid life crisis is a very well known phenomenon in America, so much so that it is a pretty common reference in t.v. shows and movies.
In a way I think you are doing better than most who feel a little empty in life because you keep up with your youtube channel daily in a healthy way. It is used kind of as a vlog with is really just a journal of sorts. You are able to voice your interests and concerns to people around the world.
I have heard often from people older than me that apathy is probably our biggest enemy, and apathy develops slowly over time as you build a routine in life that you perform that no longer has anything new to show you. So boredom will follow. Maybe think about things that have intrigued you recently and consider if you can maybe learn and maybe even participate in that thing.
Have a good day. I enjoy your videos.
Thanks for your comment. May be in Japan, everything is so peaceful and slow, which are good things but sometimes make us feel emptiness. I should go abraod.
Yes travel if you can! And your English is so good you would be able to enjoy yourself even more easily in English speaking countries.
Hi, Actually, I made a podcast episode about the 'midlife crisis' a while ago. Since I'm not personally experiencing it, I could only discuss it from an objective viewpoint. Hearing perspectives from Japanese individuals on this topic is incredibly valuable. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
Thank you for making this video. You've encouraged me to look ahead in my purpose(s) 10-20-50 years down the line and to consider how our social environment and national/world news cycle will grind us down over time if we let them
My feeling is that only people with strong hearts and desire for purpose are the ones who struggle the most with fears & pain of meaninglessness
may your journey proceed upwards from here
thanks for your comment.
The problems that you speak of are happening in the UK too. No confidence or trust in government, a decline in living standards for most people on average to low incomes, businesses closing down, full time, non agency work difficult to find..hard to see a bright future for my grandchildren. Many people feel as you do, myself included. We can only hope things get better in the future
thanks for your comment.
My first time to Japan last week. My observations especially in the cities, adults seemed rushed, tired, unhappy, and stressed. Also, school aged children hurrying to get to school and then long ride home on trains. Not a happy place, I am thinking most in the outlying areas have more relaxed and happier lives. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Also, most of the population appeared fit and trim but I have heard many adults drink and smoke a lot. I plan to go next year again, but maybe only to Osaka, Nara, Wakayama, and Okinawa.
True
Why is yen so weak against the dollar? Also, seems like Japan losing tons of revenue because tipping is not part of culture.
@@bw5277 tipping is not the reason they are losing revenue
Your English i amazing and I think you're a cool guy. Soon you will not feel so bored for example you have been very creative making this channel and well done bro. 💪🏼
sweet comment @swayp5715 💖 kind
Thank you for sharing your perspective. There are a lot of videos on the subject of Japan but they are mostly from western content creators, so this gives a more authentic view. I hope things get better in Japan!
Thank you for this. I understand what you are saying. Passion, inspiration, love and emotion are so important. Maybe try a new class. Anything to spark new ideas and happiness.
I'm American, turning 55 this week. I've felt this way for a while now, and I think it's mainly due to the fact that we're transitioning to a new phase of our lives. You realize your healthiest years are behind you, and you're pretty much done raising kids, but you've still got a bunch of time before retirement. You need to find a new purpose for your life, but you don't quite know what it is. It's been rough, but I think I'm finally starting to come out of it.
Maybe travel, that is what I will do more when I have free time. Now I travel every 3 months or so.
retirement lol for many there is no such thing.
Since I couldn't afford a Porsche, I bought a surf skateboard at 53. I'm currently learning to skate... or kill myself on the board :) - but... somehow it's invigorating. Maybe it's the small steps... but I can totally empathize with you. I hope for you and everyone in this situation that you get out of it! For myself too :)
I'm 19. I'm an American. I constantly ask myself what's the point. I can work 16 hrs a day and would still barely be able to afford my own home. If it wasn't for my father letting me stay at his place for a bit to gather my resources, I'd be living in a car or tent, even though I work full time. Not only that, but family structure is crumbling nationally, so the idea of having one is very risky because the kids most likely won't have both parents stick together which is insanely damaging to them and hence to society. This nation has become a nightmare, some brave new world, ferenhiet, 1984 mix of horse 💩. There's cameras on every stop light. You're constantly being surveilled. Man, the list just doesn't end.
@@user-mj9lq9vp3wstill better than China. I'm sorry for you. Maybe do something out of the ordinary. Church, military, whatever. I have everything you might want (I'm twice as old, European) but my health is not that great. Choose an employer who pays for some excitement and purpose in your life.
Japan is a beautiful country.
But I will see myself falling into depression if I end up living there.
Not if you live near Kabukicho 😊
why you think so?
Thank you for sharing. We all can feel that way at times. Just book yourself a holiday on a cruise and relax. You have to take time out to enjoy. Don’t take it so seriously. I am 45 and you have more than me. But, if i focus on what i don’t have it will just make me feel sad and helpless. Focus on positive thoughts and create positive energy. Watching and attending Tony Robbins seminars really helped me redirect the focus. 🧘🏻♀️ ❤
Man, I don't know your channel and this is the first video I'm watching from yours.
We are all suffocating. I guess it is a worldwide crisis.
I live in an European country. Same feeling (even though we do work less hours than in other countries).
Nothing makes sense. Feeling emptiness since I'm 25 yo.
I think people only realize the nonsense at the midd-age 40's or 50 years old, when their kids are becoming adults. But believe me, when you failed at the social achievement of building a family, you feel the crisis way before.
I am personaly impressed to see a japanese man expresses his feelings that good. This is a very good thing in my opinion.
Now, how to find sense / how can we feel better in this tough world ?
We have to be creative. If we have time, if we make place in our agenda to get this time not only to think how to improve that situation, but also to create real link with other people. We need to meet more. We need to socialize (and not only for comparisons), we need to try new things, and find what can make us happy again.
Or, at least, enjoying life a little bit.
All ideas are welcome !
I visited Osaka and Kyoto last year and felt that most folks around me on the train, train stations, and just people walking around were stressed, unhappy and depressed. Not a lot of happy faces except for a few young women laughing on the streets.
If Osaka gives you this impression, wait till you visit Tokyo.
Did you copy someone else’s comment and change the location…
women always live in a fantasy world 🤡
Man, very interesting video. Thank you for sharing.
Ps your English is great and looking good for 50!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and reflections with us. You touched me deeply and I feel with you so intensely. Don't give up, change! I did, too, at the very same age: Different job, started to articulate sadness, hopelessness, but also what makes me happy and joyful. I think change always starts with ourselves...the rest is to follow. But one thing is for sure: Life isn't perfect, for none of us. And it is sad that only from the age of about 50 we start to see clearly what we're missing: Love, affection, friendship. Go, go, go for it!!!
thansk
Just tuned in- you look AMAZING to be 50 years old!!!
Age is a number. Im 40 and look like in my late 20s.
People age differently.
@@SaithMasu12true, but society puts such a big emphasis on age, it’s really piss me off.
I understand what you are saying. Finding your purpose in life can be a life-long quest.
Many of us never “find it”. You are not alone. Try to spend more time with your children,
go to the park or library. They grow up so quickly, it may not feel like that now but blink
and they are teenagers, not too interested in hanging out with The Parents. Which is OK,
they should be out socializing with their friends. So try to be with them now.
Find a hobby or interest that you enjoy and feels fulfilling.
Yes, the value of the yen is dropping and daily life might feel boring and uninteresting,
so find your own path (you are a father), something that sparks your interest.
Best of luck to you.
Thank you for your openness and honesty. I am visiting Japan from Australia for a month with my wife and one of my adult sons. I have heard that Japanese working hours are long (compared with Australia) but you didn't mention this aspect. We are staying in Hakuba and rented a car for our time here. We drove to Itoigawa and visited the Oyashirazu brick tunnel, walked through it, and climbed hundreds of steps. Our hearts were pumping and our lungs were bursting. It felt great to be alive. It was in Golden Week yet there were only a handful of others enjoying this amazing experience. Take your son and daughter to places like this. Savour the joy through their eyes. Get back to basics. Find somewhere like Oyashirazu near where you live. I wish you the best!
Wow, thanks
I hear you, I went to school in Japan at Tokyo Uni, we are about the same age. The honesty ab out your feelings is very compelling, feel free to write and get in touch whenever you want to touch base with foreing people. I have to say tho, my time in Japan is definitely some of the best time I've had in my life.
Japan is a fun place to go on holiday... but if you're there to work - it can be hell.
It really depends on the company you work for though. If you're in a bad one, they'll attempt to bully and slave-drive you while skirting labor laws.
Being a foreigner I always knew I could walk away at any moment though... and I did.
I am 49, divorsed, no kids. and I am the same but making plans to cherish my life, cheer up mate!