Dating Coach Reacts to FEDMYSTER and OFFLINE TV (PART 4)
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When I was 18 or 19 my aunt had brought over a man her age (around 40+)
Our family had game night regularly and invited a few friends and family over. This man was her boyfriend and my Aunt thought she was in love with him. (She’s had running issues with men in her life and still chooses questionable men)
The entire night we’re playing games, I felt like I was being stared at but I wasn’t really bothered because when you play CAH people look at you when you’re the czar. The adults had a couple of alcoholic beverages but only like 1 or 2. Other than that there was nothing really going on. 3 AM rolls around and this man comes to my room. I’m awake because I have insomnia. I’m still tired though and not capable of thinking properly. He asks me if there are any antacids in the bathroom. I, being tired and whatnot, get up and go search the bathroom. While I have my back turned searching for something in the cabinet that I knew wasn’t in there (because we never keep that type of thing in our bathroom) he had came in, and closed the door behind him without me noticing. I knew the antacids weren’t there but cooperated anyway. I wasn’t thinking anything by it. I gave up searching though and said “I don’t see any in here sorry. We might not have any.” And I was turned to him cause I wanted to leave obviously I was tired and want to try and sleep again. He went in for a hug and said things along the lines of “oh that’s okay. Thank you for checking.” BUT in that “hug” he ran his hands up and down my back. All over my back. He then let me go slightly and “hugged” me from the other side (like his head was on the left for the first hug and then switched to the right the second time). The next thing he did though was hold my sides near my waist and then lean down to try and kiss me.
Now at this point my brain is flashing red lights and I at first didn’t even realize what was going on. I wasn’t even fully aware of what he was doing until he was inches from my face. I speak up scared to death “w-what are you doing?” And he lets go of me and let’s me leave the bathroom. I run to my room and hide under my blankets. I barely slept. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know if I should wake everyone up, if I should go to the police. I knew if I woke someone up then that man would not leave the house alive. Mind you my Aunt claimed to be in love with this man so I didn’t want to ruin anything between them as well. So much was racing through my head. I wanted to run away. Mind you this was IN MY OWN HOME. I wanted to leave the house and sleep at the park. I was going to get an hour of sleep in my own bed (it was 5 am at this point.) I get a nap in and wake up at 6 am. Then I get a text from my aunt asking if I was awake. I said yes and we went to the kitchen and had a talk. I said my piece. Though when I was explaining it I was scared to mention the truth. I said “I think at the end he tried to lean in for a kiss” and she said “tried or did?” And I have anxiety to begin with so I feel like I’ve done wrong by even stating that. But what really got me is what I heard my aunt say what that man had said to her when she first woke up. “I think Joy has mistaken my ‘thank you’ a bit. I had said thank you last night and she looked a bit freaked out by it” trying to manipulate the situation to make me the crazy one.
My aunt and him left right after that. Later on I told everyone who lives in the house (my mom, sister, and brother) what had happened in my case last night. My mom was livid. Last night he had been pacing all night and had been making my mom uncomfortable too. He tried “showing her his hernia” by pulling down his pants in front of her. Essentially showing my mom his privates. And even before that he came out asking about antacids to my mother and she handed him a whole bottle. So before coming and asking me about the antacids he knew where they were already and knew they weren’t in the bathroom.
My point is this just goes to show that men well off in their age are still manipulative and will do whatever they want if they feel like that’s what they gotta do. It’s disgusting and from this time and a handful of other times something has happened between me and males, I’m terrified of men. I can’t see myself with a man anymore. I have a hard time being able to be in a happy, heartily relationship with a man. And it’s sick that now my life will forever be effected by these shitty human beings.
Sorry that happened to you It's a shitty thing to go through for me I have a difficult time having relationships with either gender (I'm a bi male) because both genders have done something to break my trust in some way on the female side nearly every relationship I've had I've been cheated on (3 seperate girls out of 4 relationships) so that kinda puts a damper on that one and on the other end of things I've just never gotten along with men that well in general cause growing up I was surrounded by drunk idiotic guys who were friends with my parents and in general I never really vibed with the being masculine thing the hardest one for me to deal with and the most serious one though is my "friend" on multiple occasions pushed me into doing sexual things with him and on specifically one occasion he molested me as I had told him no multiple times but he rubbed his "member" against my back door (really trying hard not to be too graphic) after I had said no and I had never done that sort of thing before so it was scary cause I didn't really know what to do other than say no and wait it out but yah main point is people suck in general and relationships just don't feel worth it to me anymore.
@@theninjamaster67 I’m sorry you’ve gone through your own share of shitty situations. I hope you get to experience a proper relationship with someone who won’t try and push you into anything you don’t want and also is there for you and won’t be childish and cheat. Everyone deserves that. It’ll definitely take time to heal but I do wish you the best.
@@joyhasnolifem8 I'm hoping for a good relationship too but it just feels so much like it's just not in the cards for me with so many crappy relationships including my latest one where it felt like my boyfriend just ignored me all together and I literally just ended it cause I finally had enough.
@@theninjamaster67 it probably isn’t the time then. Give yourself a break and better yourself. Find a new hobby or take walks and think about things that make you happy. A good relationship will come on time. Be patient, mr. or mrs. right is out there. You’ll meet them eventually.
@@joyhasnolifem8 Yah I'm planning on a good long break from relationships to just chill for awhile.
I feel like everyone's missing the point. It wouldn't matter if Yvonne said no, because the fact that Yvonne would've said no, wouldn't have changed the fact that Fed overstepped his boundaries. If she just said no Fed would've still been in the wrong. There's no reason for you to say "She should've just said no" because he would've still overstepped his boundaries and gotten kicked out of offline, even if all the girls would've said no.
👆🏻
Yes and no. Imo this is all true. Women are raised that way and men are raised a different way. So yea men need to change the way they look at things like how women dont want to make a big deal out of things. But the other direction is also true. Women need to open up and say no. And be willing to make a statment. Just like men need to look for context clues that something is wrong.2 way not 1. Saying no is not the be all and end all and them not saying no is no ecuse to fed.but progress is made vy working together towards a better life. Not make only one group do the work. Again cant say this enogh. Fed was shit for what he did and the girls in no way shape or form did anything wrong. Simple fact. But on top of that. Women do need to be more clear with what they do and dont want. Help us less social skilled people out. Again fed bad girls good
@@chrisneratko3346 I do agree that everyone should be doing something to make progress and not just 1 party, but as much as a lot of us women would love to speak up, a lot of us are afraid. We'd love to be more open, but we just don't know how men will react. It's very hard to say what you really want when there's a chance of the guy becoming aggressive or you get blamed. For example, when Lily and Yvonne spoke up about their experiences, a lot of guys immediately placed the blame on them. So yah it isn't easy to just be more open (tho i get nobody said it was but yknow). And there's also a chance that when we do say what we mean, it just gets absolutely ignored and disregarded no matter how much we try. I do hope things change for the better around here.
@Pile Of Beans *F A C T S* 👏👏👏
I agree 100% @midnight howls! Especially if it’s someone you know, the shock may overcome you in the beginning. If it’s a DANGEROUS situation, you may just want to let it pass so as not to make the guy more aggressive and do something worse to you ....
"I don't need to watch anymore of this jabroni" THANK YOU
Seriously! Thank God he cut Keemstar off. I couldn't listen to him ramble on and victim-blame. He's a fool, for sure, and I hate how people brush him off as a harmless troll or "he's just reporting the news", but Keemstar really showed his true colours when he said, "It's your responsibility to say 'no'."
NOPE. That's the exact kind of toxic masculinity that leads to rape culture and assault. As soon as Keemstar started his victim-blaming rhetoric I looked at Anthony to see his expression. I knew he'd shut Keemstar's BS down, but the jabroni comment was the icing on the cake. THANK YOU!
i dOn't nEeD To wAtCh aNyMoRe oF ThIs jAbRoNi. GiRlS ShOuLd bE PaSsIvE LiKe oBjEcTs.
cyc2140 he’s not saying girls should be passive. He’s saying it’s very understandable that their immediate reaction isn’t always to say no right away. Watch part 2
PLUS fed has established a close relationship with the women in the house so if something different happens out of nowhere, you are going to be shocked more than anything. I know I would be
@@cyc2140 Le funny distortioned audio effect
cyc2140
Did you not watch the video?!
"when you see dating as a game you no longer see women as people; merely as objects to win." You make amazing points and I love your videos keep up the good work!
Valentino Film agreed. Anthony come to London. I mean it. Im gonna keep asking ❤️
When you're "gamer" everything is a game even women.
Moe’s (Yassuo is his online name) shows a perspective of Fed’s actions on his male friends, and it’s really worth checking out. I think it does a good job of representing that women weren’t the only ones being manipulated (although they certainly took the brunt of it).
Also, an FYI: if you’re gonna go and try to interview Fed, be prepared since he might just give out a lot of apologies without really meaning them, and his fanbase might come and be very problematic (males make up the vast majority of his fanbase, and I personally think nearly all the women left his fanbase after what happened)
I agree if you do another part look at Moe’s perspective
Hello OTV Fan and Former Fed Fan here. if you go to any outlet from his discord to his subreddit 90% what you would find is former fans either express sadness and disappointment in fed or anger from his actions. I have no doubt that there is a lot of his fans that still love him and want him to come back as soon as possible. But anyone that were his true fans would loved and respected him want him to get help and want him to change and be a better person. Also, (side note) a lot of his fans were Yvonne fans and Lily's fans and just general OTV fans. I would say that a huge majority of his fan-based feels like me or at least are very angry at him so I doubt he would have a warm welcome if he came back too soon or at all (just look at Albert (lily ex) what he did was much less (still awful) and they ran him off the internet).
I agree Yassuo/Moe’s statement would be the way to go. It’d be a great counterpoint to Keemstar’s reaction; from a guy who knows the situation and isn’t succumbing to toxic masculinity.
Yassuo never show up here
Angelskimi is another good video to react.... i feel like her video is important to understand better that fed was doing things well with some girls but ruined his posible relationships by trying to always be available to these 3 girls poki, lily and ivone, check it out.
When I was 15 or so I had a male classmate put his hand on my thigh during history class. He kept it there for the whole class, slowly moving up my leg. I was sort of friends with him and I was too shocked and scared - and also too embarrassed - to push him away or say anything during class. I froze up, and when the bell rang I stood up and bolted out of the room. I was so confused. I thought maybe I had done or said something that made him think I wanted his hand on me, I thought it must have been my fault somehow. The next day he told my friend I had been “flirting with him” in class and asked her if I liked him... I think he honestly didn’t know how to tell a girl he liked her except through getting physical. I don’t know. Maybe he thought I would just push his hand away if I didn’t want it. I don’t know why I couldn’t do that, I honestly just felt like a deer in headlights. I think it’s a really widespread problem that men are taught that that’s how you act around women when you want them to like you. From experience, it doesn’t work.
It’s a huge problem, men especially should be taught not to make physical contact advances toward anyone without consent. In general kids should be taught that your body is your body and your voice will make a difference. I realise it is hard to speak up but I think maybe with the right education and the right system being held in place, that would help being vocal against unwanted advances.
Nobody is taught that, but a lot of people do because they can't figure out how to act around women. It's sad, it comes more from the fact that we don't really teach kids anything about that so then they go for the dumbest things without realizing how much it is inappropriate and how much it can hurt someone...
Trevor Körber
*Humans are becoming dumber ever second we speak , parents don't even teach that cause it may be " akward " which is bullshit.*
@@Proger-sj8cj I think it is the responsibility of parents and school to teach these things.
I have experienced something similar but the person legitimately inappropriately touched me. I couldn't speak up because I knew no one would believe me, so I just went through the rest of my school days sitting next to him knowing he had disgusting thoughts about me or that the reason he was nice to me was just because he had certain intentions. I am a pushover and I'm timid, I have a hard time speaking up so I often blame myself.
I appreciate how Anthony says "I used to think this way", and has changed his mindset about certain things. It's very respectful to see that a person can question their beliefs and say "no this was wrong of me to think this way".
Keemstar makes me sick
i think thats what he do thats why its ok to him if girls did not say anything because of shock.....he's shit
He did say he was more educated and apoligized for his action. But he can def still be a huge jabroni
Tbh i almost closed the video when i saw him, i really can't stand that man.
@@KyamosTheStubborn i recommend you keep watching, anthony's reaction is really informative
Im so glad he reacted to keem. Now i want keem to react to this
Dude, you are angel, like seriously, hearing kimstar's point of view, I knew that he was not being empathetic, that he didn't understand, but I couldn't put it into words, I felt so much rage. But then you said your opinion about it, and I felt so relived, you were able to say what I tried to but couldn't, in the best way possible. I wish, we all as men can learn from this, and be less toxic. Thanks for your work, you are amazing.
I mean, he doesn't deserve empathy of any kind though. He's a sich individual.
You should react to yassuo's perspective as he was basically one of his best friends and shows the aftermath of the situation
When I was 17, in a public transpo vehicle, a man around 50 sit beside me and started touching my side boob using his elbow. I frozed and my brain just stop functioning. I wanted to say stop or no to him and ask for help but my voice just can't come out. It was a feeling that I can't explain. There's so many things going on my mind, I even think that he might not intentionally meant to rubbed on to me, I was validating his actions, but I moved a bit on the side to avoid him and he moved towards me as well. I keep saying to myself that I need to scream for help, that this is the situation that I was warned about and that I need to ask for help, but I thought if I did scream, will they help me? What will this man do to me? Will the police get involve? What if this man hurt me? What will they say? So no sound came out. And i just fucking sit there, hugging my bag so hard, teary eyed. Thankfully the other guy on my side gets up and leaved, so I have more room to move further away from him. It was my stop, I got out and go on with my day like normal. I didn't tell anyone (except here today). That night I cried myself to sleep, I had many sleepless nights. I keep blaming myself why didn't I fight back. Why didn't I ask for help. Why. Just why. From my friend's POV I am a very vocal person, a fighter you might say. But when I was on that situation, I became someone else, someone I don't want to be. After that I am more aware of my surroundings, I constantly feared that someone might do that to me again. When I feel that someone's invading my space I moved away to another seat. But still cant voice out my discomfort. So please stop saying that the victims should've say NO, because we wanted to, you don't know how much we fucking want to say NO and STOP. We wanted, but we couldn't. And that fucking hurts..
@DaybreakCD
Thank you for explaining what this reaction is! I’ve been in situations, where it’s so tense, awkward or terrifying that I just freeze up and don’t know what to do. Sometimes I can get through it and ‘override’ my lizard brain’s commands, while other times I can’t and get stuck in that situation. I’m glad I finally understand what happens to people during these terrifying situations.
I get that, but at the same time it really is important to say something because that person may be genuinely unaware that he's making you uncomfortable. This doesn't sound like the case (at least from your recollection), but it is entirely possible to get into someone's personal space without realizing it. And if I did that, I'd _want_ to know because I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable. Any normal person would want to know.
And even if that's not the case and you're dealing with a somewhat deranged person who's convinced himself that your lack of resistance is consent, saying no could still help. In fact, there are very few situations when saying no could make things worse. It may not help, but it almost certainly won't hurt.
@@hellterminator Read the last bit of her paragraph again, I don’t think you understood.
i am a 15 year old boy, I do not really understand relationships all that well, I never thought in a way that makes women seem lesser than, i have never thought in a way that has made me think of them as objects, but this channel and this whole fed situation has definitely helped inform me of what relationships should be and what i should and shouldn't seek out of them, thank you for doing what you do.
Ey I'm a 16 y/o girl, I'm glad young guys are seeing stuff like this and learning not to be toxic (and not have horrible beliefs like the ones in Keemstar's video) uhh make sure your guy friends respect women and you do that too 👌
I love ur profile picture 😂
Julia thanks lmao
@@homeworkbreak4237 guy friends that respect women are incredibly rare and it somewhat pisses me off. To the extent that in some groups, trying to explain what toxic masculinity is gets you alienated and kicked out.
Basically I no longer have any friends and I'm fine with it
Sibte Ali oof that sucks, I thought that it may be weird to bring stuff like that up but enough for someone to stop being friends?! Makes me scared that these things that have to change so much never will... glad you're good and try to spread that though, thanks for respecting people 👍
🙏🏼👏🏼 thank you on the video with freaking Keemstar. He has NO clue what it’s like to be a women. The power dynamic is truly there.
@@alansaulson yeah, but those toxic traits hurt women more than they hurt men
Trying to fix the muted audio. Tweeted TEAMUA-cam
My suggestion is adding subtitle into the blank space
"This jabroni" omg I'm dying!
Toast crying made me start crying so much because I have never seen him be emotional. It honestly made me like him more 😭🌸
If you could get him on your channel i would be BLOWN AWAY. He's more or less been MIA this whole time since that screenshotted set of tweets. It feel like it would be nothing short of a miracle but it has been quite some time. If anyone should have a talk with him about his behavior I think you're the content creator whose best suited to do it
This sounds fucking awful
I honestly feel like hes just trying to run away from the problem. I hope he doesn't get the misconception that this is something that will die down with time and he will be able to come back, because from what I've heard that is his way of dealing with problems. (example, when he had issues with poki he runs to their friends house and complains, then goes back after a while)
Yea I get that, I just don't think it would be the best idea to give him a public platform so soon. It hasn't been that long so his alleged pattern of empty words wouldn't result in a good situation.
:D i'm going to open up here. i raised in a society that is heavy on toxic masculinity plus i have little to no experience when it comes to talking dating etc with women. when i learned situation in my mind was oh man i might do something like that cause i'm so inexperienced with women etc. then anthony said he is gonna react to this i was yea this is my chance to learn how not to end up like fed. anthony you have my especial thanks.i learned a lot be from your videos or audio book i learned so so much. this stuff never was this much helpful and never was free in my knowledge. so keep up the good work.
I’m in my college age and tried dating but without success, so naturally, i asked my friend (who is basically a F boi) for advices. But i always felt that those advices are way too manipulative and was not right. For the longest time i thought i’m in the wrong here, but after watching your videos, i realized it doesn’t have to be that way. Thank you for making these videos
Just done with the premiere please react to Yassou/Moe, Leslie and Kimi, the statements that they have are good specially Moe's. Also I think you should give Fed more time before he comes back in any platform. As many fans wants him to get help first and maybe figure out his life. Personally I think it would be great to just give him more time and let the community relax, as of now as many as his supporters would be there are also many haters that would cancel him. I don't support him but OTV themselves wants hin to be better and to not recieve hate. Peace, love the premiere 🌼💖
agreed.
Or, he shouldn't come back at all since predators don't have a place having the power and influence being a twitch streamer with that kinda following has.
@@cjdarksoul911 That's essentially the point Reine is making. He needs to get help and seriously reform before he comes back in any meaningful way.
@@tunguska-1454 you're missing his point. AT ALL meaning even if he does "change" he shouldn't be coming back to a social platform especially not one so polarizing and toxic as twitch.
@@mikeyv444 No reason not to return after reformation if one takes it in earnest. Nothing good to come of scorching the earth.
This sounds probably stupid, but thank you for these 4 videos of yours. I actually learned a lot about thinks I initially thought I already agreed on morally, but I clearly haven’t paying attention in my life enough to acknowledge this issues of mine.
I have to say that you also pointed out stuff that I don’t agree with, but these points are relatively small. You definitely helped me to understand all sides. For example now I understand much better why the girls reacted how they reacted.
I actually believe that I myself will come out as a better person with this knowledge in hand. So thank you.
At the end when you pointed out that Fed didn’t apologized in his tweet, I want to believe he apologized to his friends in private.
To be honest, at the beginning I thought all these videos of yours about OTV are disrespectful to all members. Because they initially wanted to solve these issues in private. They just couldn’t do that because they are public figures and obviously many fans demanded answers why fed is out. So they released statements for their fans and now THE WHOLE internet jumps on these statements to blame someone and to get themself involved, even though they have no business in doing so. At the beginning I though you were one of these people, who jumps on drama to release videos about this topics and to make a quick UA-cam money buck. Now I saw you are not one of them. Your videos about this topic are actually very educational. That’s why I would liked for you to have a bigger disclaimer in front of you videos. Something like: “These videos don’t exist to judge Fed, but to educate people and especially men about these situations similar to Fed’s his situation, so they can change there behavior BEFORE something horrible happens in there lives.”
This wasn’t clear to me from the beginning and after the first video with Poki, I nearly wrote a horrible comment to you xD But I sat down and watched all the other videos before I wrote anything, and now I see things definitely more clear. I just don’t think everybody who disagreed with you, sat down to watch even more of your content before judging you. That’s why I think a disclaimer would have helped xD Also to show the OTV members, who probably have seen your videos existence, to show some respect by saying: “I know I am not involved in your private problems and I am not here to judge any of you, these videos exist only to educate viewers.”
I hope everything was understandable, sometimes my English isn’t that good and especially my English grammar. So if anything was unclear just ask and I try to clarify things. Thanks for reading.
If it was for drama do you think I’d talk like a slow asshole?
@@AnthonyRecenello heh not wrong
@@AnthonyRecenello Ehhh, could be to lengthen the video for ad revenue.
b r u h... he says the bit about educating people about healthy relationships every single time tho i---
Bruh imagine judging a video without watching it and expecting the worst out of people.
Oh wait
I was 21. My driving license teacher put his hands on my hips once and I was so shocked , I couldn't move, I couldn't say anything, I think I even stopped breathing that moment. My body was paralyzed from fear and I didn't expect that reaction from myself, because I am usually pretty brave. But in situation like this I couldn't control my body and it did what it did. Fortunately he went no further
im sorry that happened to you
i hope you are ok 💞
@Afonso Robalo(10 CTAV) What do you mean by that
@Afonso Robalo(10 CTAV) you just shouldn't touch people you don't really know and if you know them well show your hand moving towards them so they don't get a shock
I felt the exact same way too when I was 19 working at a restaurant. One of my co workers, an older man in his 40s offered to tie my apron. After he tied it, he groped my breasts for a couple of seconds. I was frozen with fear too and didn’t say anything. Other co workers like a guy a decade ago would always hit on me and sometimes it was uncomfortable but I had to laugh it off because that’s just “what he does” with all the girls. But at least he didn’t do anything inappropriate compared to the other guy. I ended up quitting after a month.
Hearing you talk about this stuff is stirring something in my soul man. Jesus I wished I lived in LA just so we could chat and just talk. You seem like a really cool dude.
'why didn't she say no" it's all in the brain really, when someone panics and freezes it' s because the panic signs from the amigdala in the limbic part of the brain doesn't transfere fast enough to the frontal cortex (which tells us to act and do smth). Plus i also think it does have something to do with how woman were raised to be quiet and never act on things.
I don’t think I want to see fed on the internet yet. The entire situation is still fresh and I don’t think he’s had time to completely reflect on his actions and anything he would say would probably be a reflection of what he told Offline during the private intervention. I think him keeping to himself and seeking private counseling would work best rather than the entertainment of his fans
agreed
Nah he SHOULD be gone for years. I don't care, if he comes back any earlier than a year or two I won't accept that hes changed. He has some serious mental problems that require hundred or thousands of therapy and other types of treatment. For him to be mentally prepared to get back to an actual life.
seeing scarra with hair is amazing
"I don't need to watch any more of this jabroni" 💀🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Made my blood boil when he was talking like...YOU JUST SAID YOU DIDNT RESEARCH!!!
Absolutely get Fed on a video for a sit down to talk about it and how to improve.
Absolutely but I wouldn't really film it
that was the intervention the otv cast did. it didn't work.
Yeah, I figured if it's out there for everyone to see it not only could help Fed to look back and reflect on his own time but also for other guys who might need that kind of conversation too.
@@jonathanrao4876 true but he could also make a forced perspective for the viewers and do what he did when he called his friends about the intervention and even tho we probably won't believe him it wouldn't make it better for him if he does lie
To early for that
8:29 how come the audio cuts off until like 10:26 ? there's like a huge chunk of speaking entirely gone there and a few seconds of it being yours.
just got to that part. Someone please find out!
Probably just *didn’t want to get demonetized for the music* (yes, I did edit this), long story short toast was saying how he wishes he would’ve done more and/or wishes he was more perceptive about these type of situations Bc it happens way too much to his female friends and associates (not just with fed)
I thought my phone was fucking broken
Demonetization for music
@@AnthonyRecenello that damn music
This video reminded me of an experience in high school that happened when I was 16. My high school had an open campus lunch policy, so my friends and I went with some friends to go eat at a local restaurant. My boyfriend at the time had to stay at school to finish some school work, so he wasn't able to go with us, but we had mutual friends, and they were all guys that we all mostly grew up with since elementary school. So it was me (female) and four other guys that I've grown up with and didn't really see romantically. We all crammed into a truck to get to the restaurant we wanted to go to; two in the front, one in the middle, and me and another guy in the back. The guy sitting in the back with me was really good friends with my boyfriend at the time, and so I didn't think much about sitting beside him. As we were heading to the restaurant, he started to let his hand wander around and attempted to place his hand on top of mine. I proceeded to move my hand away, and then he left his hand on my thigh instead. Not really knowing what to do or say, I left it at that. Except his hand kept getting higher and higher to the point where his hand was basically at my waist, he then wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him and began to go up to my shirt. I tried pulling away and just trying to make him stop without causing a scene. My head and heart are just pounding because I didn't know what to do. With a sigh of relief, we finally arrived at our destination; what was about three miles away felt like an eternity. I couldn't look at him once I got out of the truck, and I purposively didn't sit next to him. We finished eating, and all I felt was dread of getting back into that truck again. I tried positioning myself further away by sitting as close to the window as possible, but it didn't prevent anything. He made advances again, thigh to the waist, waist then up the shirt, and under the bra, but this time he wanted to take it further and came back down the shirt from my abdomen and tried sliding his hand under the band of my leggings. Fortunately for me, the band was really tight, and I had my legs crossed already, making it really hard and uncomfortable for him to do what he clearly wanted to do. Finally, we arrived back at school, and I darted out of the truck and never spoke to him again. I told my bf and the friends I was with what happened later on. My bf was mad at me for not saying anything to the other guys while it was happening, but he didn't put all the blame on me and chose to not speak to his friend again. I couldn't help but blame myself for why it happened, and why didn't I do more to stop it? It would've been so easy to just shout "no" or to just ask for help when others were just 3-7 feet away. I've always been really passive, and some would say a push-over, but it's still hard to accept that I just let that kind of thing happen. However, I learned a lot from that experience and just tried to never put myself in that kind of situation again.
That scene with Toast just made me fall in love with him.
1:25 i legit thought he just left a still screenshot of his face instead of a video reaction until a few seconds later when his eye twitched 😂💀
I think if Fed wants to come and talk or say his piece you'd be a great guy to talk to him about understanding where to go from here and how exactly to grow. He's not a horrible dude but he could've easily been going down a path of no return. I really appreciate your mentality and how you speak about this subject, you're calm,collected and do really understand a woman's perspective but not in a condescending or mansplaining way.
"He's not a horrible dude but"
yeah stop right there. He manipulated everybody, including sexual conducts with different women.
he's definitely a horrible person
He isn't a horrible dude? After manipullating literally everyone around him and sexually harassing all females in his friend circle and downplaying his attitudes with that alcohol excuse? He doesn't deserve one word out. He deserves the harshest of punishments and to be remembered for this for the rest of his life.
@@cjdarksoul911 "sexually harassing all females". Who did he sexually harass besides yvonne?
Dr. K needs to talk with him first, then this man second
Yea, I think talking to Fed will help not just him but a lot of other people in general. Do it :D
You know, it's kind of insane how life slaps you in the face sometimes. One day a series of youtube videos pop up in your feed, and it makes you realize how much growth you still need to go through as a person...
Seriously, thanks for that.
Please check out MOE’s perspective on this. His name is “yassuo” and his statement is really eyeopening to find out that what we know is STILL not everything that’s going on!
thank you for addressing what kem said. when i saw kem’s video i was horrified, and even more horrified at all the people agreeing with him. especially because he didn’t even read half of yvonne’s statement before posting that video, despite the fact that over five statements have been made by the time he posted it. thank you so much for teaching people about this.
These videos helped me as a woman understand how to recognize when a friend’s behavior starts to become manipulative, or when a situation should be addressed instead of trying to convince myself that it’s me just being weird.
It pains me when some people say..
"You could have said no"
I would argue that it should be
"You should have said no"
Because in reality
Not everyone has the ability to say no.
Not everyone has the confidence to say no.
Not everyone has the mindset to say no.
Saying No may not be something you would have been able to but it is the right thing to do.
The notion of "Oh, You could have done this , you could have done that."
is flawed. Of course, she could have done this or she could have done that but the question will he/she be able to.
From watching Yvonnie throughout the years in Offline I can confidently say that Yvonnie in that situation is not someone who would have been able to say No even if she wanted to.
add on to the fact that actually hearing 'no' doesn't mean anything to some people;
see twitch clip: "Fed want a hug from Yvonnie because he's sad."
@@1292817341 not wrong.. "No" is sometimes seen as just another challenge in the game to overcome. :)
Wow you actually reacted to keemstar. That's literally all i wanted out of all this, thanks so much!
What you said during Keemstar's video (and in previous videos in this series) really resonated with me. A couple of years ago, I was a freshman in college and I had an experience where I was hanging out with someone who I thought was going to be a friend of mine and he kissed me out of nowhere when I gave no indication. I wasn't even looking at him at the time. I froze like a deer in the headlights and was confused as to why he was doing that, what I felt about it and what I could do to figure it out. He kept trying to escalate things and that's when I snapped out of it and said I was leaving. I was lucky, he was just a horny idiot and not a rapist that would keep me in his dorm room against my will. I didn't report it only because I was not in a good place mentally to discuss it with college administration. All I wanted to do was move on and heal privately. For this reason, I don't regret this decision. I wish I could have been in a place to do so but that was not the case. I was in shock as to how this could have happened to me as I wasn't drunk, sleepy or at a party. And it wasn't a stranger. It took me a long time to stop blaming myself for even being in the situation in the first place. Now I know how to handle things, and I take the experience as (in a strange way) a blessing. It made me grow up and better learn how to read people, how to keep myself safe and what to do in situations when I am not.
But I feel for everyone who has ever frozen in such a situation and been terrified as to what to do. It's not as easy to understand if you haven't been there, but I'll say this. When you know something is coming, you have time to prepare. You can think things through. Maybe you can avoid the situation. When it comes to you without warning, especially if you've never had something like that happen, it's like you're in the Twilight Zone. You are in shock. Your brain shuts down and you can't process anything. Enthusiastic consent is the only consent.
You definitely react to Angelskimi because she actually thought she was in a relationship with him but she got led on because he was trying to go for other girls too
Your response to k* is really great. From past trauma when I get overwhelmed with any kind of emotions good or bad it's like my body just stops. I can't speak & I can't move. I had to go to therapy where what overwhelms me is constantly reintroduced to me until I can function enough while it's happening. It still happens but now days it's usually because I'm too overwhelmed with good emotions so like I can't tell people I love them when the feeling is too strong no matter how much I want to but I've found ways of showing it rather than saying it in the moment.
I want to add something to your already very empathetic and accurate description of how women have been taught to behave in situations that are scary or uncomfortable (try to diffuse it passively to not cause problems). I know that I can only speak for myself, but I also know many many women who share these feelings:
As a woman, I am constantly, deeply aware of my physical vulnerability. I am not a big or strong person, and I realize that most men can physically overpower me with very little difficulty. I also know that men who overstep with women, who are entitled and persistent and insecure, can be very volatile when they are rejected. I am constantly weighing the risks and benefits of different responses to unwanted advances, and I often feel fearful that if I respond too forcefully or reject them in a way that hurts their egos, I could be attacked, raped, or killed. And there is Nothing. I. Can. Do. (Obv I would fight back but, realistically, my chances are slim) This is why we do our best to just keep calm and be agreeable and do our best to just physically get ourselves out of that situation where we have no physical power, so that afterward we can take steps to stay safe and keep friends safe around the guy in question. To all men who get mad at women for not responding to these situations by being really assertive, please understand that A) you are coming from a place of privilege in which you don't feel you're always at the physical mercy of people you interact with, and B) that men have a responsibility to ask for consent and read body language rather than just assuming that stressed silence is a green light.
This has been incredibly informative and has actually helped me see alot of these habits and tendencies that I have myself!
I think an interview with Fed is a great idea and I also think a video dedicated to dismantling this type of behavior and building healthy relationships with others would be very helpful to many guys in similar situations out there
Seeing Lily in the exact same situation ive been in for 8 or more years helps me so much. I realized so much about why Im not at fault and why I felt guilty
Concerning keemstar's take on this - I absolutely agree with your points Anthony. Namely, (1) he's viewing this from a man's perspective, (2) the focus should be on the guy NOT carrying out bad behaviour, (3) incremental "boundary overstepping" by Fed within a very close-knit friend circle contributed to the whole affair. I also get that toxic masculinity is a thing and that it's deeply ingrained.
HOWEVER, the key lesson from keemstar's rant would be that just as men should be taught not to view dating as a game or to sneaky sneaky, women also need to be taught that it is OK TO SAY NO. Toxic masculinity isn't just ingrained in men - it's also why women are often subservient/quiet when uncomfortable. They need to unlearn that trait just as much as men need to unlearn "nice guy" behaviours.
Ultimately, should the worst case happen, it will be up to a woman to say NO. It is her responsibility to herself to do so. She won't be able to always rely on someone coming to help in the moment.
Ofc, there is the flip side of this being able to say NO- #metoo has shown that things can happen to excess, with innocent men being accused of crimes.
This is very important. So many people don't even understand what toxic masculinity is.
You should watch Kimi's, Mo and Leslie's videos on fed
Kimi's was... pretty bad
100%. I think the three videos Artluv mentioned are ones I'd be interested to see your reactions on, since they're from people a step back.
Niama Wait, I thought it was pretty good. What was wrong with it?
Manuel Gonzalez Parra i think Niama meant by, Kimi’s situation with fed was really bad, not necessarily her response
No
You are so good at explaining that feeling that comes when a guy makes a move on a girl and the girl just doesn't want to create a scene or provoke the guy to something worse so she goes with it. Something recently happened that provoked that feeling in me and I have been feeling so bad about it since but these videos have helped me gain a perspective that is in contrary to what I've been shown and taught all my life. It's still hard for me to forgive myself and to tell myself that it wasn't my fault but these videos really helped me a lot and I thank you for educating not only guys to act better and to not do these stuff but also educating girls to come out and to not feel bad for the way they reacted in the situation.
Yes, I want you to talk to him!! PLEASE!!
I'd just like to express my gratitute, this four part series really helped me get a better grasp upon some of the less good parts of my self. I feel like this has truly helped me understand why and how i've been able to act in ways in my past that i view as completely wrong.
🙏🏻
I think one final video would be a great way to round it off especially a video talking with fed! Love the content btw you’ve made me realize a lot of things I’ve never thought about before!
Anthony does a good job in explaining things in a nice and calmed manner, even after hearing Keemstar
Thanks for these informative and educational videos. I am not someone who seeks out online drama and I initially ignored this series of videos from you. I now have watched each of them and as a 27 year old woman I have learned a lot about toxic relationships, both romantic and platonic. I believe your input into this situation can help a lot of people. I hope that other people don't ignore these videos and learn from them as well. I think it would be helpful for Fed's fanbase to have him on your channel. I really appreciate that I am able to learn something new from every video on your channel regardless of whether I have previous knowledge of the subjects of the video.
Thank you. Yeah I’m not a drama person I just want people to have better relationships
Yassuo has an interesting perspective as Fed’s former best friend. Kimi’s statement was genuinely hard to watch at a couple points. Both worth reacting to imo. And yes please, if possible, talk to Fed. Everyone, including Fed, agrees he needs help and I think you could do that
One of the best person to enter this drama. One of the best UA-cam actually. Good glooks my G.
gLOOKS?
I am very thankful to my parents, especially my mom for teaching me good values. I once had a group of friends who thought being committed to one person in your life makes you a loser but to me they seemed to be the losers who don't value other people.
PLEASE talk to him! I’ve been a fan of otv for years and i really want fed to recieve your help!
*Sorry Fed is gone and he's never coming back , he doesn't need to talk to him he needs professional help*
Fed is a Lier and a manipulator, also he harasses women
I’m so glad I was able to find you, I enjoy helping my friends with stuff like this and these videos you make help me be better at what I do, I thank you so much Anthony and I hope that I can be like you after I graduate
I‘m really grateful for your videos they help me understand so many things and motivate me to change my perspective on dating and relationships completely into a healthier one. Thank you for doing this. I think you have a great positive influence with your videos
I never knew about OTV, but thank you for making these videos. Very important and many people can learn from this
It would definitely be nice to have another video with Yazzuo. It shows another perspective of someone who feels very betrayed by Fed. And it'd probably be really insightful to have Fed on your channel to talk about the situation.
Having a conversation with fed would be actually really awesome. In all this we haven't really seen his side of the story, only a few statements from twitter and I think that's really important. If you have only one side of the story you think that is the right one. The way they handled it basically made it so it's impossible for him to reply in any sort of meaningful way.
Thank you for making this vids, it gave me a better understanding of the drama happening and also the state of the women
If you were to do a follow up on this topic I'd recommend hearing Moe's point of view and leslie's as well (fuslie)!
I feel like they complement the points you've made but it also puts things in a different light when it comes to his manipulative nature and how he also did this with guys and not only girls.
I hope you could react to Yassuo, angelskimi, and fuslie's video. Those are important ones as well as yuna's statement. And Im sure it would be really helpful if you try to get in contact with Fedmyster thank you so much for doing this.
i dont think yassuos is informative at all tbh
yes pls. yassou showed this situation is not only gender thing but he did broke some bro code :D. and angel imo kimi experience was straight up assault. i really think if you can show fed the error of his "dating tactics" would be helpful for a lot of people.
@@heavymetal1ization it'll show how yassuo felt betrayed by his bestfriend.
I think talking to him would be very very good and might convince people that he was in the wrong sounds like a good idea great vid!
love your perspective, keep doing these videos man, re-educate how guys should act
LMAO THE THUMBNAIL SCARRA-
F
I started to ask myself if I have been exhibiting toxic masculinity myself. I grew up where this kind of masculinity was normal or praised that being a toxic man was being a true man. But ever since I started dating, I noticed that these flaws are popping up.
But watching more videos about toxic masculinity and how to properly treat women I have been conflicting with myself. You opened my eyes to this and now I have made it a goal to say sorry to women I have dated if I have ever made them feel agressive or making them feel boxed in.
Yo seriously thank you. I think something like this happened to me with a girl and back then I couldn't understand why it felt like she was just letting things happen but didn't look interested on it. It wasn't anything serious I think, just crossing boundarys a bit. Like if I were to put my hand on her thigh. And now it hit me hard that it's not that simple for some women. (Or people in general) To me it was just say no and there. But not everyone's like that and now I understand that. I think what's really important is to be there in the moment with the person you're with. Then naturally you'll just pick up on anything about them that seems off. Ex. Looking uncomfortable. Then you'll stop and ask about it. I feel that's really important.
Yes! Please invite Fed onto your channel!
i watch all 4 parts and it was very educational and thank you.
why you using that pic of my boy scarra?
Probably because all the other good quality pictures are of him smiling, and it might be weird to have a happy picture in this situation.
Aesthetic 😌
If anything I feel like these 4 videos alone could help him understand much more why what he did was wrong. Very insightful
I think it would be great to have Fed on the channel tbh, not only for his fans, but for him as well.
You need to react to Moe/Yassuo and yes please do Fed on video
Mah Boi With the Beard, I like it, even tho I'm 15 and haven't had a relationship yet, you still have made me a better person and how to understand what's in a relationship, how a relationship works, and How to actually be a great person thank you, Anthony Recenello
I am glad to have seen this video and I hope more people get to watch it.
1. Anthony is correct with how differently men and women are raised and we are taught to be friendly, approachable, and not to speak up, especially when the offender is a friend or a relative.
2. Even when women say no, SHOUTING NO, outright PUSHING the offender AWAY, the offender still pushes back to get their way.
3. When women speak up about being violated, women are usually questioned and blamed. Like, did we not do something to prevent it? How about men just ask or not do those stuff, right? (Like what Yvonne said in the previous video)
Thanks, Anthony for creating these videos. Kudos! #NoToToxicMasculinity
I really enjoy what you do and it is very important to do so because a lot of us do struggle with situations like these and other situations as well. This is something that should be taught very early but sadly it is not and I really appreciate that you do educate those who stumble upon your channel like I have.
Keep up the good work and thank you for the uploads
Im so happy that one of your videos popped into my feed a month ago.
😃
Hey man, discovered your channel a few days ago. As a man, you made me realize that maybe what I think as obvious facts, really aren't. So I wanna ask you to review the situation of the UA-camr Relax Alax, I thought he was absolutely right but now I wanna know what you think. Keep up the good work!
I respect that you’re delving into this situation, not to latch onto the drama, but to teach others valuable lessons that can be learned from Fedmysters wrongdoings. You’ve probably read it a hundred times by now but I’d like to suggest AngelsKimi, Fuslie, and Yassuo as the last few vids on the topic. AngelsKimi gives her own perspective on how fed treated her considering she was not as experienced in intimacy as the average person. Fuslie gives a perspective as someone who didn’t receive romantic advances, but still experienced his manipulation. And lastly, while I don’t think it would shed much more light on what’s already been said, Yassuo was Feds best friend and has been greatly affected by his actions.
I learned a lot about myself as a woman by following your videos. Thank you.
Toast is so pure
It would be great to have Fed on, but I think he needs time away from everything to think about his actions first
i remember when i was working in a certain Mc restaurant and we had a really good friendship circle in the kitchen with everyone. one of my friends from college started working with us in the kitchen and she was a really go friend of mine, we got along really well and would joke around alot and i noticed that one of my mates (who at this time was in a management position) started to get a little touchy, feelly with her and i could see she wasn't comfortable in the situation. when he wasn't around i asked her if she was alright and told her i saw what he was doing, she told me that she didn't like it but didn't want to tell him to back off a bit. so i told her i would deal with it for her so she didn't have too. I could understand what it must have been like getting all that unwanted attention, so I confronted him telling him that he needed to back off a bit 'cause she wasn't comfortable with it and just wanted to keep to herself. The explanation he gave filled me with rage in a instant... "but I haven't had sex in 5 years" once he said that i just couldn't believe that he thought that was a valid response
Toast's reaction is so heartbreaking
You’re right about the differences in how the genders are raised and you’re right about how women should NOT be blamed for being inadequate when they fail to say no. But while we still live in this kind of society, women do need to realize that they must say no. Discussing what the world is and what the world should be is very important. But self preservation and knowing how to thrive within the current system is also a necessary skill.
I think it is crucial for you to react to Moe "Yasuo"´s statement. It really presents diferent issues.
This is what it feels like to comment early huh? It's not much different
It is really valid. Ladies I know went through the same thing. It is really scary for the ladies but the guys who are close to them didn't realize it and felt really guilty and ended up self-destructing.
Have you ever heard of a game called "Emily is Away"? I believe that the whole game is a road you're used to driving on. Also while listening to some of the things you touch on in this video, it makes me think about how I've seen this game be typically played.
I think Kimi and Yassuo (Moe) statements are worth reacting to. Kimi was oblivious or rather, she didn't know how to react to Fed's advances, to the point she admitted she needed help from professionals. Moe legitemately wanted to stand up for Fed, but yeah, found out what happened shortly after.
Man these videos are very insightful. Definitely look into every statement about the situation. There's a very different view point in every video and some found deeper into what he's done. After that, then I'd say it's a good idea to bring fed to your channel
I want to see it! I love these videos, your very calm energy in these videos but still very firm I believe will help educate his fan base on this. Keep it up!
I think watching yassou/Moe's talk about fed is really insightful, especially because it's coming from a male best friend. Not only did he hurt women and make them uncomfortable, but he also betrayed his male friends. Regarding Fedmyster interview, I think it's too soon, let him go through some therapy sessions and have a chance to improve/reflect on his actions. Maybe a few months down the line you and/or Dr. K can consider interviewing him
I think a video with fed to show his fan base what he did wrong would be very beneficial