It's really gross that people date at all. Dating = breeding = suffering followed by death. Zero people = zero problems = stop breeding The thing most celebrated as the thing that makes us human...having a family...is literally the root cause of every bad thing lol... It takes a real scum bag to date - and an even bigger one to breed.
@Jacob Ben Afia It's known as the truth... Putting a lable on the truth and calling it a "position" makes it sound like an opinion... That's dishonest. I refer to myself as a human - not an "antinatalist" I am just a human - one of the few who speak truth. My only position is honesty.
... Go and volunteer at a nursing home and spend the last 48 hours of someones life with them. Do it a few times - not just once - so that you get a better idea of the variety of tortures that await us. Keep in mind that dying at an old folks home is the BEST case scenario lol... As they are dying - don't walk away. Do not avert your eyes from THEIR eyes. Keep a fixed gaze and recognize what you are seeing is your own future and your own fate.... Then visualize the faces of YOUR OWN CHILDREN on the faces of these dying strangers...then at last...remind yourself that they will feel this pain....this fear....this agony - because you chose for them to. Dying is not as peaceful as most humans are brainwashed into believing... Go and see it for yourself. And don't leave the room to "get some air" ....don't be a coward...stay and watch it closely. Look onto their eyes deeply and FEEL what they feel as closely as possible... - Then recognize that WE are the harbingers of doom... ...
@bangmeister2012 try not to over analyze or overthink it. get the laugh then get out. also, you can most of the time tell what type of set the comedian is having with the first couple of jokes, so when it starts going to that rabbit hole just click out.
I noticed that things were getting pretty scary in the dating scene when I entered my 30s. I'm 37 now and don't even try anymore. My life is work, gym, dogs. When I really think about it, that's not so bad. LOL
@@boot2themoon wait until after you're 35. You really will not give a crap then. My late 30's was an eye opener and I felt so free and lifted. Men shouldn't have to worry about finding a "partner"...let women do that. Sadly, these days men have been indoctrinated into this fantasy too, instead of living their lifes.
haha I think he looks las if he could easily pass for Matthew McConaughey's slightly older, less famous, and after seeing his bit slightly less funny estranged brother. I didn't find his set to be more sobering than funny
This reminded me of a quote by Scott Cohen: "Don't you just hate that your requirements in a mate become stricter as you get older, and your good looks wane, making it harder to attract even the mediocre people you no longer find acceptable?"
Unless you are a rich man. At 40 y/o I have an easier time dating 20 y/o women than when I was 20. Dating is so easy if you’re rich, like shooting fish in a barrel.
@@swimfan752 Thank you. I'm glad you took my reality for such a long shot you thought I was lying. You must be young, how old are you? Do you not believe that rich older men can attract young prettier women? Just level yourself up and you'd be surprised at how much easier it is when you are high value.
@@David-fw4ly yeah but it’s not real, staying in your age range optimizes ur chances of finding real love. 20 year old women are just looking for money, fun, and attention. But kudos to you! Just keep rotating them as they age out 🤣 - a 26 yr old woman
dude, getting older is exactly like that in a lot of ways. like, especially if you're not successful in your career, either. You see yourself headed to what your younger self thought was essentially the worst possible way to end up. But you find a great sense of humor in it and it turns out, it's really not that bad. That you for coming to my TED talk? idk
I'm remarried. That stretch after my divorce was awful. So many crazy women (and men I guess) out there. It's too much work. I have one bit of advice. Marry someone who is innately kind and generous.
Exactly! That's the biggest factor. You can work with and get through the rest of life's challenges just a little easier with a kind spouse. But an a*hole makes everything more difficult.
Find someone who you can truly be yourself with. Someone you can be absolutely honest with and have unrivaled integrity. Hiding who you truly are leads to failure.
Yes, I've been divorced for almost 20 years and I have a diminished labido. It doesn't get any better than that! And now, for some reason, I have lots of money. 😃
@@Koudey you right. Loved Hannibal initially but his comedy since he blew up has just seemed lazy. I saw Andy Haynes perform with Rory Scovel like 8-9 years ago and I thought they'd both be huge by now.
I think I speak for all these swinging richards on this! Tinder is for quick hookups bro! Nothing serious! You may hit a 3.5! But with the right dim lights... she becomes a 5! Jus saying keep your standards low and the ladies will come! #porkfest!
A lot of good, intelligent people aren’t exactly extroverts by nature regardless and some of the most intelligent due to the way they have to live their lives literally practically don’t date.
This set speaks to me... I'm 37,I have 3 Male roommates & one of them cut my hair recently because I was broke. 😂😂 Dating does get harder at this age and older but it's all good. I don't have any children, I've never been damaged... I mean married & I have zero felonies. So I have alot of time to spend on myself & make myself better & most importantly up my game!! 💪😎👍
@@Paul-pd9uw I don't know why everyone always breaks a decade like 30s into. 30s are 30s no matter age you're in. 35 is an arbitrary landmark people like to use as some indicator of change. It's not.
@@ahaley3292I’m a man and agree with this. If decent women don’t find the guy desirable then there’s something wrong with the guy. He’s just not interesting enough for him to date him yet he wants something desirable. Same with older women too. It’s a human delusion. This comedian is 37 and lives with 3 men. How is that supposed to “sell”? He’s exactly where he should be in life in terms of dating and anything “better” would be a blessing. Women are delusional in dating but men are just as bad for one reason or another.
Audience was fine. I don’t laugh out loud much even when something is hilarious, so they were cool to me. Agreed that it got better. There’s other clips.
Sorry I'm in my mid thirties and old enough to see how miserable a lot of married people are. Just imagine being stuck in an unhappy marriage. I'll take being single ANY day.
To be fair a lot of people have a miserable dating experience in their teens and 20s as well. Lots of people get divorced which is extremely painful and unpleasant in most cases. I am 37 (male) and I have never been married, don't have kids, and sure I get lonely a lot, but I've always said it's better to be alone than to be with someone that hurts you or you just don't vibe with. Life on this planet can be extremely lonely, at whatever age there is out there.
I was listening to the clip the second time and right at the time he got that part I read your comment. Felt like it was my destiny as if I was at the right place at the right time.
@@miscellaneousmedia3753 yea I'm not meeting any chicks sitting on my couch all day. But it's what I do and I like to do it. And I like to be alone. I creep chicks out 😂
One of the funniest stand ups I've ever seen. Furthermore, I'm older than this guy, single and loving it... Been this way for some years now... I feel for him though because it seems like he's genuine😂
Even if you find yourself being 30 and still single. I highly recommend you continue to date women in the sweet spot. 23-27. Dating in your 20’s is already a nightmare, but It’s a walk in the park to compared to Dating in your 30’s.
@@vik8860 and when he gets divorced in a couple of years he can wonder why getting married for the sake of being married didn't work out for him. It will be a real puzzler.
@@amberl.8245 much love if youre a positive sister. Its just very necessary to use discernment when dealing with folks. You still have to be open to good people tho
He's really uttering his soul out there, and its a soft humor. I find that its full of depth, but its not hitting me in the gut... its too close to reality that I'm too familiar with where its coming from. It doesn't make me smile, it doesn't make me even slightly move my lips up in a grin, but it does make my eyes feel warmth. I hope Andy is doing well now 3 years later.
I'll be 32 this year and still single. It hits me when sometimes I almost have no one to hang out with on the weekends, because the majority of my friends are married with kids, and they usually have plans with their own family on the weekends. And my friends who are not married yet, also usually have dates with their bf/gf. Lol
I’m 43 and been single for years. I’m a pretty good looking guy, pretty smart, friendly and kind, yet here I am. I struggle to find words for how bad it sucks. I spent 2 years caring for my dying dad, which caused me to fall into a major depression, which is now just as bad plus I am grieving. I wish I had the courage to put myself out there when I feel this way, because I can’t stand this loneliness much longer. This is probably my karma for screwing around so much in my 20’s lol. Truth.
supernice_auto In Fort Lauderdale, FL. No, I haven’t tried. I wouldn’t be much fun and I want to, want to. But I just don’t. Maybe it will all pass eventually and I will feel the like I could be a good partner to someone. I’ve just fallen into this comfort zone where I don’t have to worry about being judged, or misunderstood. I just feel so alone all the time. It’s a difficult situation to figure out.
The only time I ever drank with some Australians I ended up getting into a fight with one of them and went to work 3 hours later. The party ended at 3 am and I went to work at six. Never again
Trust me, it's better to be single and be at peace than be in a terrible marriage. Does not mean you should not keep finding meaningful connections with people.
Here’s a secret that many married women will never tell you: They regret it. Many people partner up either for validation, or out of fear of “loneliness”. Then they compromise their values, wants and needs for the sake of someone they “love”. The most married couples have that’s good is the dual incomes, and the family photos. Other than that, most marriages are filled with fussing, lack of sleep, frustration, passive aggressive behavior, resentment, sacrifice, and emotional drainage.
But there is always compromise? Both have to compromise to an extent. The majority doesn't want to be alone.. friends are not the same. Yeah maybe those negatives are a thing but let's not forget all the good stuff, that's the reason we put up with it. And there is no magic person out there that will just make it effortless.
Being single was a blast at 37, in had my own home, came and went whenever I pleased, had extra cash and jetted out every holiday, then... I met my future wife in grad school, now my life is filled with crying babies, stinky pampers, long hrs at the office and a wife that always seems to be on “that time of the month” and my 6 pack is gone. Don’t get married lol!
this dude's freaking hilarious! some of his "twist ending" punchlines remind me a lot of Wendy Leibman, another commedian with great surprise zingers, like the endings to her jokes kidna sneak up on you
@@Alex10daysago I wasnt especially interested in that. If you are passionate about having kids then that's a different situation. I've always had the impression that most guys end up having kids because "that's what you're supposed to do". When you're in your 20's men are vulnerable to falling into that trap. I don't regret not having kids.
Corkfish1 down the road I want to have a kid. But a baby from an egg donor. Never a full on wife. So she can one day change and take my money and someone I have grown to love. Im all about enjoying women and having girlfriends. But thankfully now science allows men and women for that matter to have a Family without a partner. Im 35 now and on occasion I do get the baby blues.
@@Alex10daysago maybe date a single mom if you want to be a father. I've just seen horror stories in marriages that you would not believe. Guys who were emotionally and financially devastated.
Corkfish1 same here. But I dont want to raise anyones kids or want a woman to engage with me on the off chance she can tie me down and have me pay the bill on her rugrats. Kids are cool. But my own kid with 50% my genes would be pretty cool. Going to museums. Concerts. Disneyland. All that cheesy stuff. But with your own flesh and blood. Because in the end we can only have so many one night stands. We can only fit so many toys in the garage. Sometimes it be nice to come hone and make dinner with your own kid.
Jesus that felt good to watch. once the tone is established after the two crescendos about his life, this clip became an automatic shotgun of perfectly timed punchlines. Andy Haynes you are fucking hilarious
Dude, i was thinking about it yesterday: you can't live in NY alone with a regular job, you need to live with some people, or else you'll be indebted in no time
I felt like this at 37 after leaving my much older alcoholic girlfriend. That was 15 years ago. Now I look after my very sick elderly parents and work two jobs for enough money for me, with nothing left over at the end of the month. That's life, people. Sucks for many. Don't have kids.
The "don't have kids" does sound appealing but I can't help but imagine we'll all wake up one day replaced by a heavily repopulating 3rd world Civilization in a matter of 1 generation.
"Dating at this age is like being in a town that evacuated and I was in the bathroom. " I didn't know if I should laugh or cry.
It's really gross that people date at all. Dating = breeding = suffering followed by death.
Zero people = zero problems = stop breeding
The thing most celebrated as the thing that makes us human...having a family...is literally the root cause of every bad thing lol...
It takes a real scum bag to date - and an even bigger one to breed.
@Jacob Ben Afia
Those who are born will suffer and die.
Those who were never born - will never be bothered by anything.
Facts are facts
@Jacob Ben Afia
It's known as the truth...
Putting a lable on the truth and calling it a "position" makes it sound like an opinion...
That's dishonest.
I refer to myself as a human - not an "antinatalist"
I am just a human - one of the few who speak truth.
My only position is honesty.
@Jacob Ben Afia I never knew that was a thing. I'm single and childfree because it just seemed easier. Although hope to fall in love again.
...
Go and volunteer at a nursing home and spend the last 48 hours of someones life with them. Do it a few times - not just once - so that you get a better idea of the variety of tortures that await us. Keep in mind that dying at an old folks home is the BEST case scenario lol...
As they are dying - don't walk away. Do not avert your eyes from THEIR eyes. Keep a fixed gaze and recognize what you are seeing is your own future and your own fate.... Then visualize the faces of YOUR OWN CHILDREN on the faces of these dying strangers...then at last...remind yourself that they will feel this pain....this fear....this agony - because you chose for them to.
Dying is not as peaceful as most humans are brainwashed into believing...
Go and see it for yourself. And don't leave the room to "get some air" ....don't be a coward...stay and watch it closely. Look onto their eyes deeply and FEEL what they feel as closely as possible...
- Then recognize that WE are the harbingers of doom...
...
Comedy is golden when you can laugh and somehow walk away even more depressed than you were before.
I'm 34, and this hit me like a Mack truck!
@bangmeister2012 try not to over analyze or overthink it. get the laugh then get out. also, you can most of the time tell what type of set the comedian is having with the first couple of jokes, so when it starts going to that rabbit hole just click out.
He's delivering the jokes and they're funny, but I can hear his misery. I can almost feel it.
Lmao I'm glad, or else you'd be a psychopath
I think thats the point though....also there isnt 1 good comdedian that is happy lol promise you.
Merkin 101 joe Rogan?
Dan Potato keywords “good comedian”
I actually do feel it.
His despair is palpable. Someone give him a hug or I will find him and give him one. Funny guy.
Rant Therapist ehhhh I feel like it’s just his role. Most comedians play off what people might assume
he is getting re-married soon, he just got engaged.
@@nmpete3365 exactly. It's his shtick
He's married with a baby now.
I will find him and hug him after his next divorce. Think positive.@@blackbetty476
I noticed that things were getting pretty scary in the dating scene when I entered my 30s. I'm 37 now and don't even try anymore. My life is work, gym, dogs. When I really think about it, that's not so bad. LOL
it really isnt. Dogs are life.
Its actually really great. plenty of ME time.
same...I dont really get why people would be upset by it.
Crap I'm about to be 33 and haven't dated in like 4 years out of laziness and apathy.
@@boot2themoon wait until after you're 35. You really will not give a crap then. My late 30's was an eye opener and I felt so free and lifted. Men shouldn't have to worry about finding a "partner"...let women do that. Sadly, these days men have been indoctrinated into this fantasy too, instead of living their lifes.
he's got some legitimate talent. I want to see more of him.
Yes, a quiet dark akwardness. Keys to a successful career in comedy and acting.
The dog is homeless. I have a house....... We'd rather him stay here🤣🤣
Yes I Am LOL. As a former animal shelter director... oh my goodness!
He's talking to us like we can't speak English.
Dog: Yea man I think I can do better.
@Pernell13489 former director? What you do? They gave you the boot bc you can’t be trusted either?
I thought he was gonna say they would rather put the dog down then letting him adopt it.
“i’m undefeated” HAHAHAHA I CANNOT
...finish a sentence.
There, I did it for you ;)
He low key looks like Julius Caesar
Oh ma god he does!!
haha I think he looks las if he could easily pass for Matthew McConaughey's slightly older, less famous, and after seeing his bit slightly less funny estranged brother. I didn't find his set to be more sobering than funny
Maybe a caricature, the real Caesar had a very wide head.
Like he said himself, he's not hot, he's handsome
@@pearz420 and greek and shorter and darker
This reminded me of a quote by Scott Cohen: "Don't you just hate that your requirements in a mate become stricter as you get older, and your good looks wane, making it harder to attract even the mediocre people you no longer find acceptable?"
Unless you are a rich man. At 40 y/o I have an easier time dating 20 y/o women than when I was 20. Dating is so easy if you’re rich, like shooting fish in a barrel.
Damn that’s too real
@@David-fw4ly 😂 you’re capping
@@swimfan752 Thank you. I'm glad you took my reality for such a long shot you thought I was lying. You must be young, how old are you? Do you not believe that rich older men can attract young prettier women? Just level yourself up and you'd be surprised at how much easier it is when you are high value.
@@David-fw4ly yeah but it’s not real, staying in your age range optimizes ur chances of finding real love. 20 year old women are just looking for money, fun, and attention. But kudos to you! Just keep rotating them as they age out 🤣 - a 26 yr old woman
This was hilarious and also put the fear of God in me.
I read this. Saw the video. Now I too am this.
Oh my gosh! Your username is my username, too.
Then that means you are pathetic
@@torachan23 shut up
dude, getting older is exactly like that in a lot of ways. like, especially if you're not successful in your career, either. You see yourself headed to what your younger self thought was essentially the worst possible way to end up. But you find a great sense of humor in it and it turns out, it's really not that bad. That you for coming to my TED talk? idk
This is the most depressingly hilarious set I've seen and it had me rolling 😂😂😂
I'm remarried. That stretch after my divorce was awful. So many crazy women (and men I guess) out there. It's too much work. I have one bit of advice. Marry someone who is innately kind and generous.
Exactly! That's the biggest factor. You can work with and get through the rest of life's challenges just a little easier with a kind spouse. But an a*hole makes everything more difficult.
Where is the kind and generous humans warehouse please?
Great advice. Key word here is "innately". Everyone can be kind, and everyone can be an asshole.
Find someone who you can truly be yourself with. Someone you can be absolutely honest with and have unrivaled integrity. Hiding who you truly are leads to failure.
I have a much better piece of advice: Only marry someone phenomenally wealthy.
I’m 36 and have been single for quite some time. I must say, I enjoy it. The peace and quiet is addicting.
Yeah same here.
Human Being i miss it so much
Yes, I've been divorced for almost 20 years and I have a diminished labido. It doesn't get any better than that! And now, for some reason, I have lots of money. 😃
True. I like hanging out with me
#peaceistheonlyhappiness
the years have not been kind to seth meyers.
Too much day drinking
This was just as funny as the set tbh
I think he's actually significantly better looking than Seth.
But I get the point of your joke.
at least he's funny now
How did Seth Meyers even get a show. That guy is the opposite of funny.
Haynes is wildly underrated, should be more famous
kggregorie More famous than Hannibal Buress.
@@Koudey you right. Loved Hannibal initially but his comedy since he blew up has just seemed lazy. I saw Andy Haynes perform with Rory Scovel like 8-9 years ago and I thought they'd both be huge by now.
It was just getting better and better! Why did it end there???
"You're a nice lady!" 😂
“You’re a nice lady”, and she dries! - this part killed me
He's delivering like The Joker if he didn't have that laughing disorder.
Hahahahaha लवलि
@@nikhilsharma-xy7kr gay
@@nikhilsharma-xy7kr You can give it to my mother; She will politely refuse the Asian bullshit.
@@pineablesodayou play genshin impact 💀
@@pineablesoda and three years ago called this guy guy because….. why?
This routine made me reinstall tinder. I have a new-found sense of urgency.
Not the place buddy
If you build it! They will come!
It's been a month, have you found "the one" on tinder?
Yeah this ain't it chief
I think I speak for all these swinging richards on this! Tinder is for quick hookups bro! Nothing serious! You may hit a 3.5! But with the right dim lights... she becomes a 5! Jus saying keep your standards low and the ladies will come! #porkfest!
he had me at new opponents...😂😭
It’s not that all the good people are gone, it’s just that people’s true colors are more apparent with age.
Yes indeed, that says a lot about my hermit like existence. 😃
It’s always such a nice surprise to find genuinely caring and honest people. Fortunately, there are quite a few of them out there.
@@samcha9448 they are outnumbered by narcissists claiming their souls.
A lot of good, intelligent people aren’t exactly extroverts by nature regardless and some of the most intelligent due to the way they have to live their lives literally practically don’t date.
Also though with age comes more life experience, which often means more baggage. People start to get worn out
I just became 36 and single...
I've been single but only recently became 36.
I’m about to turn 36. High five bro.
@@OctoganicAngel you and Joe should change other's relationship status.
I can tell you it's all down hill from there. I've been it a week so far so I'm pretty experienced.
@@JoeCnNd Thanks for the heads up. I was gonna have a birthday party but maybe I'll just skip it and take up alcoholism right now.
@@OctoganicAngel I have beer. You can join me if you can accept that i sit around in my underwear all day. Dont change me and i wont change you.
"Hes not a barber he just offered to do it"... my friends before I got a license lol
Do you cut your own hair?
@@787brx8 I do..
I feel like this man wakes up in the morning angrier than me
lol
Based on your profile picture, no.
@@malcolmmueller734 you're an asshole😂😂😂
This set speaks to me... I'm 37,I have 3 Male roommates & one of them cut my hair recently because I was broke. 😂😂
Dating does get harder at this age and older but it's all good. I don't have any children, I've never been damaged... I mean married & I have zero felonies. So I have alot of time to spend on myself & make myself better & most importantly up my game!!
💪😎👍
Fk me, I always thought it would get easier for guys in their late 30s.
@@Paul-pd9uw I don't know why everyone always breaks a decade like 30s into. 30s are 30s no matter age you're in. 35 is an arbitrary landmark people like to use as some indicator of change. It's not.
By upping your game, do you mean that you're getting better at Fortnite?🎮
@@ahaley3292I’m a man and agree with this. If decent women don’t find the guy desirable then there’s something wrong with the guy. He’s just not interesting enough for him to date him yet he wants something desirable. Same with older women too. It’s a human delusion. This comedian is 37 and lives with 3 men. How is that supposed to “sell”? He’s exactly where he should be in life in terms of dating and anything “better” would be a blessing. Women are delusional in dating but men are just as bad for one reason or another.
Wish they would have showed the entire stand up. Just kept getting funnier and funnier. Audience was whack though.
It really did
Audience was fine. I don’t laugh out loud much even when something is hilarious, so they were cool to me.
Agreed that it got better.
There’s other clips.
Audience member gets heart attack laughing
Comments section: What a whack audience, nobody died
@@PolarisAb You really overthink these short clips.
PIZZA shooters shoot
Sorry I'm in my mid thirties and old enough to see how miserable a lot of married people are. Just imagine being stuck in an unhappy marriage. I'll take being single ANY day.
Single 4 life crew rise up
rockn roll They're afraid of ending up like this guy. But I've been unhappily married. It's definitely worse
That would suck.
My first marriage was like that.
Twelve years sober.
Not any day...
Most days yes, not any day though...
Its hard
Yea I'd rather be single .
To be fair a lot of people have a miserable dating experience in their teens and 20s as well. Lots of people get divorced which is extremely painful and unpleasant in most cases. I am 37 (male) and I have never been married, don't have kids, and sure I get lonely a lot, but I've always said it's better to be alone than to be with someone that hurts you or you just don't vibe with. Life on this planet can be extremely lonely, at whatever age there is out there.
.... "She was really really mean to me"
Hands down my favorite part 😂😂
Half expected him to start the set with “Alright Alright Alright”.
Fredo McConaughey
be a lot cooler if he did
Lol ok!
That awkward cut to a female in the crowd after he talks about a mean lesbian
Sterotypicaly random 😂
Lmao literally just thought of the same key and peele skit
@Jeff B Lol I thought about that sketch too
and then the dark haired men when he mentioned "the jews"?!
I was listening to the clip the second time and right at the time he got that part I read your comment. Felt like it was my destiny as if I was at the right place at the right time.
I'm 25 and single haha I can't wait to be alone the rest of my life 🤙🏻
Same I'm 21, at some point you start to accept it, like "yes, this is my life now"
@@miscellaneousmedia3753 yea I'm not meeting any chicks sitting on my couch all day. But it's what I do and I like to do it. And I like to be alone. I creep chicks out 😂
Sagnik Mukherjee Just told myself this last night.
Same 25 and divorced. Been with several girls sence even dated one for a year... You will find it buddy.
28 yo over here
One of the funniest stand ups I've ever seen.
Furthermore, I'm older than this guy, single and loving it...
Been this way for some years now...
I feel for him though because it seems like he's genuine😂
This guy is me in 8 years. This is my future.
I hope you find the right person good luck on your journey.
Yeah we could all be him he didn't leave the address of the shelter that didn't give him the dog.
M. Lewis I only have six left...
UA-cam AMS he's advice will change your life
Lol
Why is youtube all of a sudden recommending me comedians that are actually funny?
Must be coz I'm 27 and single...
- Banana - lmao same 😪
I'm 27 too and this guy randomly appears
The algorithm must include comments I've written now. I should stop commenting.
Even if you find yourself being 30 and still single. I highly recommend you continue to date women in the sweet spot. 23-27. Dating in your 20’s is already a nightmare, but It’s a walk in the park to compared to Dating in your 30’s.
Seems pretty rough out there, maybe UA-cam it’s trying to prepare you for the imminent o.o Go out and date now Banana 🍌!
I enjoy being single... Too many broken people in this world. You gotta protect your smiles and cries
get married and do it fast.
@@vik8860 and when he gets divorced in a couple of years he can wonder why getting married for the sake of being married didn't work out for him. It will be a real puzzler.
I speak for all the women ready to find a husband when I say ignore vik 88.
@@amberl.8245 much love if youre a positive sister. Its just very necessary to use discernment when dealing with folks. You still have to be open to good people tho
That was what I was getting at... With the post
He's really uttering his soul out there, and its a soft humor. I find that its full of depth, but its not hitting me in the gut... its too close to reality that I'm too familiar with where its coming from. It doesn't make me smile, it doesn't make me even slightly move my lips up in a grin, but it does make my eyes feel warmth. I hope Andy is doing well now 3 years later.
This dude is seriously funny! He has actual jokes and punchlines
I'll be 32 this year and still single. It hits me when sometimes I almost have no one to hang out with on the weekends, because the majority of my friends are married with kids, and they usually have plans with their own family on the weekends. And my friends who are not married yet, also usually have dates with their bf/gf. Lol
As someone in their mid twenties, I’ve never been so terrified in my life
Lol I'm relating so hard rn
Ok I’ve checked and now he has two adopted dogs and a cute comedian fiancée. It all went well 😌
Yay!!!
Thank you for doing the leg work!
"You're a nice lady. Dries her right up." Hahahaha.
Started off kind of slow, but then started landing hard punches with these jokes. I need more. Lol 😂🤣
He’s the most accurate comic I’ve heard in ages!
I'm 40 and never been married. Relatable AF.
Its the bald spot
I’m 43 and been single for years. I’m a pretty good looking guy, pretty smart, friendly and kind, yet here I am. I struggle to find words for how bad it sucks. I spent 2 years caring for my dying dad, which caused me to fall into a major depression, which is now just as bad plus I am grieving. I wish I had the courage to put myself out there when I feel this way, because I can’t stand this loneliness much longer. This is probably my karma for screwing around so much in my 20’s lol. Truth.
I think you've created a mental prison, you need to release the shackles.
Where do you live? Do you try to date?
It's time to get back out there man. It's never too late.
supernice_auto In Fort Lauderdale, FL. No, I haven’t tried. I wouldn’t be much fun and I want to, want to. But I just don’t. Maybe it will all pass eventually and I will feel the like I could be a good partner to someone. I’ve just fallen into this comfort zone where I don’t have to worry about being judged, or misunderstood. I just feel so alone all the time. It’s a difficult situation to figure out.
J T thanks man. I know. I will get better and regain my life again.
More of this guy, whoever he is.
his name is in the title! are people blind, or just illiterate?
@@zombiemachinery4868 I bet you're Australian.
@@AnotherComputer LOL! Nope.
Just press the button
Looks like Seth Myers’ brother who was raised by the dad’s secret family. Funny dude
Being single is the shit if you're cool. I love hanging out with me!
Glad someone said it. When you're awesome, being single feels literally like always being around an awesome person.
Sounds sad. Like when you say your mom loves you
@Mr. No Reply You're both right and you're both wrong, as I allays say.
@@Duryism Perhaps they're delusions of grandeur, but to be honest, they get you through some hard times.
@Mr. No Reply "nah bro you're just a sad, lonley loser" says the person calling others names on the internet
Man, this guy's FUNNY. Gave me a few good laughs and idk know his name! Hope he does more stuff, I'll totally watch
John Nazario Andy Haynes is his name
HIS NAME IS IN THE TITLE
@@nepadron that was too much work for John
“Fucks like a Christian quarterback”!!😓🤣🤣
Felicia Kelley comes quickly standing. No f😍🌽🍒🍑s given. Hj's&bj's. Keep running db.
This guy is hilarious! His jokes and timing are great.
The fact that I barely smile or laugh. Especially laugh due to my depression made this priceless. I am grateful for that.
Some people just aren't cut out for the single life.
This is what Drew Brees is doing during his injury
Yes
😅
Facts. Mans funny too.👍😂
“Australians drink a lot. They turn a Tuesday into Coachella”
Stacy Steele Wisconsin...
*laughs in Mexican*
The only time I ever drank with some Australians I ended up getting into a fight with one of them and went to work 3 hours later. The party ended at 3 am and I went to work at six. Never again
australians have nothing on norwegians. i drank with norwegians once and i swear i had a whole week hangover.
Where do I find these people? At this point, I will do do what I must to be accepted as one of them. 😐
I’m a thirty-two year-old graduate student. This guy’s material is way too relatable.
Your style of comedy and delivery is excellent. I hope you find whatever it is you're looking for on the internet.
Find someone with the same life goals. And be kind to each other.
Trust me, it's better to be single and be at peace than be in a terrible marriage. Does not mean you should not keep finding meaningful connections with people.
Legend! Best comedian on earth. I would pay good money to see this full set.
"YOU'RE A NICE LADY!" lmfao
"I get grateful."
Fantastic clip, gf and I laughed thru the whole thing.
The crowd groaning in unison and laughing is amazing.
Here’s a secret that many married women will never tell you:
They regret it.
Many people partner up either for validation, or out of fear of “loneliness”.
Then they compromise their values, wants and needs for the sake of someone they “love”.
The most married couples have that’s good is the dual incomes, and the family photos. Other than that, most marriages are filled with fussing, lack of sleep, frustration, passive aggressive behavior, resentment, sacrifice, and emotional drainage.
Not in my marriage, don't know what is going on with ya"LL though...
But there is always compromise? Both have to compromise to an extent. The majority doesn't want to be alone.. friends are not the same. Yeah maybe those negatives are a thing but let's not forget all the good stuff, that's the reason we put up with it. And there is no magic person out there that will just make it effortless.
Being single was a blast at 37, in had my own home, came and went whenever I pleased, had extra cash and jetted out every holiday, then... I met my future wife in grad school, now my life is filled with crying babies, stinky pampers, long hrs at the office and a wife that always seems to be on “that time of the month” and my 6 pack is gone. Don’t get married lol!
Eh. There was also a time she was single without kids and could do what she wanted. Everyone says it is horrible when the kids are young. . .
“Dating in your 30’s and 40’s is like shopping at Marshalls”
2:52" - I'm undefeated, I have a perfect record... I'm single😂😂
He’s good. This is so relatable
this dude's freaking hilarious! some of his "twist ending" punchlines remind me a lot of Wendy Leibman, another commedian with great surprise zingers, like the endings to her jokes kidna sneak up on you
44. Divorced. Have No one and no money or friends. Your doing better than me.
How does that happen?
Hope it improves for you, been divorced at 40 had to go back home to parents etc.
Get after it and know you can start over
38. Never married (almost engaged before I realized she was toxic af), and same.
Same - 44 (divorced @ 37) - except I'm surrounded by phenomenal parents and my own children. Far from giving up - so much life yet to explore!
I'm 60 and never married. Thrilled I escaped that fate!
Corkfish1 did u want kids?
@@Alex10daysago I wasnt especially interested in that. If you are passionate about having kids then that's a different situation. I've always had the impression that most guys end up having kids because "that's what you're supposed to do". When you're in your 20's men are vulnerable to falling into that trap. I don't regret not having kids.
Corkfish1 down the road I want to have a kid. But a baby from an egg donor. Never a full on wife. So she can one day change and take my money and someone I have grown to love. Im all about enjoying women and having girlfriends. But thankfully now science allows men and women for that matter to have a Family without a partner. Im 35 now and on occasion I do get the baby blues.
@@Alex10daysago maybe date a single mom if you want to be a father. I've just seen horror stories in marriages that you would not believe. Guys who were emotionally and financially devastated.
Corkfish1 same here. But I dont want to raise anyones kids or want a woman to engage with me on the off chance she can tie me down and have me pay the bill on her rugrats.
Kids are cool. But my own kid with 50% my genes would be pretty cool. Going to museums. Concerts. Disneyland. All that cheesy stuff. But with your own flesh and blood. Because in the end we can only have so many one night stands. We can only fit so many toys in the garage. Sometimes it be nice to come hone and make dinner with your own kid.
Legit one of the funniest, most relatable sets...ever!!
This dude is legit. Loved his comparisons. The marshals bit, the dog, everything was on point. Love the Costco sweater.
This guys pretty funny I’d be interested to see more of his stand up
The most I've L'd O L in a while, I like his dry sneak attack style. Esp since the Marshall's thing is 4 REAL 😆
i'm 38. this guy is on point. he's so on point. lol
I am 41 and single for the rest of my life The Dimension Beyond
40,single and whenever I start to think about anything other than Smash&Dash I just reflect on the past 4 decades
*i’m good*
The sweater crying joke was the best 🤣
“You’re a nice lady!😂”
He looks like he could be on a dollar bill. He's got founding father kind of vibe. Very WASPy :P
Marcin Trelkovski Founding father 🤣
Lmao that's stereotypical af but so true LOL
Dude looks like a young version of the snow shovel murderer from Home Alone.
Ray Schultz that’s a deep cut right there
Damn, that’s cold 🥶
The nice old man?
Your comment was the cherry on top after watching that set.
Ray Schultz lol
I've never laughed and felt so bad at the same time
He's right, fighting to win is no way to make a relationship work.
Jesus that felt good to watch. once the tone is established after the two crescendos about his life, this clip became an automatic shotgun of perfectly timed punchlines. Andy Haynes you are fucking hilarious
Mean lesbian runs the warehouse, yeah, that would be the standard.
As the camera flashes to a laughing lesian
I feel bad laughing 😂 😭 you can feel the misery
This is hilarious but also low key motivational af being 29
Ben Mann get on that!
I physically cannot watch this while eating, it's just too funny I'm scared I'll spew out my dinner. What a find!
this dude is funny af...gonna need to find more
"It dries her right up..." great line... but not a pick up one.
im 43 year old single dad in a wheelchair. This guy has no idea how easy he has it.
We've got to get you set up. C'mon internet, let's do it!
@@myhandlewastaken Lol!
Just take a trip to Las Vegas and go 50 miles outside the city.
No!
Bad internet! Bad!
Try again.
Why are you in a wheelchair?
Dude, i was thinking about it yesterday: you can't live in NY alone with a regular job, you need to live with some people, or else you'll be indebted in no time
I'm saving this in my motivational video playlist to remind myself where I'll be in 10 years if I don't get it together.
I felt like this at 37 after leaving my much older alcoholic girlfriend.
That was 15 years ago.
Now I look after my very sick elderly parents and work two jobs for enough money for me, with nothing left over at the end of the month.
That's life, people.
Sucks for many.
Don't have kids.
Chris Dragotta without kids, who would take care of your parents?
Wow I'm 31 & single , no kids, watching over my elderly uncle & mom.
@@timothy790110 If I had kids, I wouldn't be able to help them.
Chris Dragotta no but youre helping your parents, that's my point.
The "don't have kids" does sound appealing but I can't help but imagine we'll all wake up one day replaced by a heavily repopulating 3rd world Civilization in a matter of 1 generation.
"I'm undefeated."
Do you need to suffer to create brilliant or even good art?
Yea
Affirmative
Rhayr Harry no
No blood, no hurt, no good.
Totally
Can write and deliver a good, smart joke w impeccable timing. Thanks man!
surprise long dog was gold
I’m in the same place Brutha...
Gotta laugh at it ✊