Breast vs Bottle Feeding | Jordan Peterson
Вставка
- Опубліковано 8 лис 2017
- Jordan talks about the importance of infant care and whether mothers should return to the work force or go on maternity leave.
Source: • 12 Rules for Life - An...
Support Dave's Show: / rubinreport
Another Fun Fact: Your breast milk changes throughout the day depending on what your child needs. During the day your milk will provide more cortisol and in the early evening it’ll start to provide more melatonin to help your baby regulate their days and nights. Can’t do that with a bottle!
Thanks for sharing, never heard of this before, good to know :)
Melatonin on I herb :p
Yes you can if you pump on demand into a bottle
Thanks for sharing...
That's why now a days when you buy milk storage bags there is day and night written so you can mark what time of day this milk was expressed
Society is trying so hard to undermine the importance of stay at home moms. I graduated from an Ivy League school with hopes of going to medical school. I thought I was going to be single because I did not want to go to medical school with a family. Found my soul-mate right before I started the application process. Got married and made the second most difficult decision to forgo my “career” path. I knew it was the right thing deep down but after you have your child ur perspective of the world turns upside down. To this day, I have no regrets and listening to Jordan Peterson had reinforced this decision I instinctively made over a decade ago.
JLane Hardy I have the same the experience. I wanted to join med school as well.
The spoiled westerners have forgotten how to overcome hardships over and over and over and over again. So many people are struggling just to make enough to put food on the table, dress their kids and work from dusk till down 7 days a week and having to put off career as an option is a luxury. You have options. Your country has work options, you can get training during your parental leave or learn a new skill entirely. I don't understand where does with fear of not knowing what to do at work after several years comes from? It's not like you lose brain cells after giving birth.
Excellent point. Plus, you can put your medical school knowledge to work on patching up the neighborhood kids and teens. It might be interesting to get some data on how many people take up space at medical school who never intend to be doctors. It's a costly career choice, and in some cases, should demand some time in the field for the investment the medical community gave to these students. Shortage of doctors is not a joke; so, think carefully if you are considering a medical career - we need doctors, we need mothers. We need doctors to deliver babies. We know of people desperately wanting to become doctors who cannot get into medical school because of the shortage of spaces. Don't waste your time in medical school if you know in your heart of hearts you will not follow through with a career in medicine.
I’m with you on that, I finished my masters degree and while my cohort continued on to get their license and advance their careers I’m a stay-at-home mom, because that’s how much I believe in it. I’m providing for my kids what I never had, and that’s all I can ask for. I’m lucky, I got the education and career in waiting, and I get the home life. If you can do it, then do it. Maybe you have to sell the second car, maybe you need to downsize, but this is life, you won’t get this time back.
One of the biggest lies the Feminazis foisted on young women back in the 80s was "You can have it ALL" Job baby husband being optional climb career ladder etc etc. Yes you can have it ALL , just NOT at same time....
Man, sometimes I forget how blessed I am. My husband supports us so I can stay home and nurture our little ones. We're poor (teacher in AZ) but it's worth it.
Civilisation depends on your actions. Thank you!
Being poor isn't a bad thing.
Having a loved one to hold at night is priceless.
Take it from someone who can retire at the age of 20..
That is really lovely to hear. Restores my faith in humanity to hear such progress with lives. I really wish you and your young fanily all the best and to keep up the great work, love and support! You certainly have mine as well.
You are the backbone of America and teachers should be earning $100K plus.Thanks for teaching in this trying time!
@@eyoung8215 YES!
I chose to leave my infant at 8 months to go to work but I killed myself for it. Not physically, but my soul was shattered. I was all she had known and was ecologically breastfeeding. Left her because my husband wouldn't hear of anything else and I wasn't the kind of person to oppose others or the kind of person who had the mettle to follow her heart with big decisions like that. Took me three years to grow a spine and make the decision to stay home for my second one, despite his renewed insults about me not "progressing" enough to be a woman of this century. Manipulative man. Best decision I've ever made and God gave me the graces of discernment and detachment I needed to make that decision. Can't turn back the clock for my first baby, but I learned a life lesson. I hope I don't need many more. It was the whole "lobster growing a new brain" kind of growth.
Domestic Kenosis I hear you. Did the same thing. Same type of husband. I went back to work when my son was 7 months and it was the most awful heart wrenching thing. I was so disinterested on the job I might have been fired if I didn’t leave first. So I left after 3 months and threw all my efforts into running a home-based daycare. It wasn’t easy but I’m glad I did.
I think that's pretty wonderful, Domestic Kenosis!
I'm a full-time "Domestic-Coordinator" & wife (29yrs;) mother of 3 wonderful kids; 2 boys (10 & 13) who are also Amazingly-Autistic. I am glad you chose what is right for you & yours! Choosing to be a 'Mother' shouldn't be measured by such an insignificant & myopic 'yard-stick' as a chosen feeding method. Kudo's to you!
Good article here: health.usnews.com/health-care/articles/2017-03-27/breast-feeding-may-not-lead-to-smarter-preschoolers
Domestic Kenosis isn't I funny I'm hearing more and more of this lately.itso terribly sad that looking after your own children is considered such a step down by some.it excuse the cliche but is truly the most important job in the world .
Good for you 👏🏻👏🏻 I truly admire that. I am a stay at home mom to my toddler and now infant, as I told my husband many times I rather eat rice and beans everyday to save money and stay home with my babies.
Domestic Kenosis I'm so glad you got to stay for your second baby. It breaks my heart what happened to you! I was lucky and got to stay with my children, and it was painful for me to even THINK about having to go to some high falutin job and leave my babies.
Oh thank goodness there's someone out there saying these things. I stayed home for nearly two years with my first child & didn't even have anyone babysit her until she was about 18 months. I live in "socially progressive" California where our traditional family values are frowned upon. I was told by nearly everyone that I was creating a "clingy" child who would never want to leave my side. Surprise, surprise, the first time I left my child with her grandparents she was extremely confident & was like, "later mom." When I went back to work as a preschool teacher & she came along but was in a seperate class, she was totally fine. She's now 6 years old & completley confident & independent because I gave her a healthy attachment to begin with. I am currently pregnant with my 2nd child & plan to do the same thing, regardless what others say. I thank God every day for the loving & stable support of my husband who makes this all possible.
It's interesting, too, because people constantly ask me how we make it on one income. It's simple, we don't live an extravagant lifestyle. We have one car, no cable TV, we only eat out maybe once or twice a month, etc. It's truly remarkable how little we really need. We make those sacrifices so that our children have a stable attachment to mother & the family. It's more important than modern society wants to admit.
You are completely right! Forming a healthy attachment and bond with your child leaves them with the confidence in your relationship to be independent of you and know that they have you to come to at the end of the day. Children who are secure in their relationships feel stable enough to act independently without fear.
Good for you! My goal when I have kids is to stay at home and nurture them. Staying at home and being a mother is so important because we’re raising the next generation of men and women, and we want them to be decent people and contribute to society.
...and may you make many more! Cheers!
This is amazing and reassuring, thank you for sharing. I wish you all the best !
@@nicoleaklein41201 absolutely agree. My daughter was nursed until just short of her third birthday, slept in bed with me and whenever any playdates/social interactions/staying with nanny and granddad etc came up she couldn't wait. It became a family joke. My sister said to my daughter "go and ask your mommy". My daughter replied, "mommy who?" She was 3 or 4 years old. A strong bond early on makes for confidence later on.
I thought it would be no big deal to go back to work part time after my baby was born. My husband worked his schedule so he could take care of the baby at those times.
You CANNOT understand what it is like, the hormonal changes that happen in your body as a mother, until it happens to you. It's nature's way of getting a mother to go through the very difficult time of caring for a newborn. I had to quit because I just couldn't stand to be away from my baby. His father was great at caring for him, but I HAD to be there. Explain it however you want, hormones, mothering instincts, whatever, but the drive is very strong and you can't truly understand it unless you've experienced it.
post partum fucking sucks, i get what you mean. The experience is unlike anything prior.
I remember for the first 3 months of my daughter's life not being able to even leave her to go to the store for 20 minutes. I felt like I had to watch her 24 hours a day, and it was a physical ache and such anxiety the couple of times I did. I felt on high alert about SIDS until my children reached 2 years. But the plus side of feeling so much love and joy at everything they did and said, and the levels of patience and stamina I had physically were amazing.
That’s a good thing! You’re normal
Also, when breastfeeding the mother is boosting the baby's immune system, helping them stay as healthy as possible. That's not nothing.
If you're going to give the breath of life to another human being, you have to be willing to take responsibility for the welfare of the being. This is going to require that you put the infant's interests above your own.
responsibility? responsibility? who the F let this person out of their cave?
I think a lot of people don’t understand what that responsibility feels like though - both men and women. If you’re going to be a father and your wife is a stay-at-home woman, you need to be prepared to be a supportive husband. As a woman, you need to be prepared to (in my opinion) give up your career, if that’s the best option for the family you’ve created.
A lot of men these days won’t let their wives quit their job, and a lot of wives do what those men want them to do in the end because...well it’s like Jordan Peterson said. Women are more acquiescent. They usually end up agreeing for the sake of not causing strife on the relationship.
Both of the genders need a different perspective on parenthood. It’s really gotten out of hand.
Oceanovo94 Mysia No. I live in modern times and I keep my eyes open. Most of the career moms I see are just frankly bad moms. Children should come first. End of story.
Now, I’m not going to say that no women can work and have kids, and be good at both. Likewise, there’s lots of house husbands that do a great job.
But women who think they’re going to be “super mom” and they’re going to stick up for their “right” to not have to sacrifice any of their personal, selfish ambitions for the sake of their child’s mental health and psychological development - well I feel bad for them...and I feel bad for their kids. They have no idea what they’re getting themselves into. The poor kids end up paying the price. A lot of those same women swear by the attachment theory of parenting - which is such a contradiction.
See, the problem is that are unrealistic society makes parenting out to be something where you get to have your own life and have a kid on the side. ANY PARENT will tell you that’s not the case.
If I had more time, I would send you the sociological studies that show that children who grew up in the era where it became common and acceptable for both spouses to work, had increased rates of addictive behavior and all sorts of nasty repercussions.
There’s a whole generation of people who suffered those consequences - generation X. They were called the “latchkey” children because they would go home and there was no adult in the house.
Those kids never get to experience the parental love they should have felt. It affects a person’s sense of confidence and self-worth, and negatively impacts their ability to form strong emotional bonds.
Simply put, there’s just not the hours in a day to work 9-5 and then come home and nourish a relationship with a child. By the time you get home, it’s time for dinner, then a shower, then bed. How do I know? I babysat those kids, and talked to other babysitters about that.
Both of the girls had extreme self-esteem issues and both of them said that the other girl got all of their mother’s attention. One of the girls had an anxiety attack in school and passed out. The other girl would have fits of frustration and sadness and lock herself in her room.
Mom would constantly come home and just “have the talk” with her. That was all she would get from Mom. Discipline. She used to scream at me that she could never do anything right and...to be honest - she was right. Her parents just didn’t have the time to show her love. All they could do was spend the little moments they had on doing behavioral damage control.
Of course, they all went out as a family together on weekends. Almost always to places the parents felt like going. I think they used that to say they were a good family. Really though, you can get nice pictures from those days, but they don’t replace having a properly intimate parent-child relationship, and being close enough to your child so they can confide their secrets in you, and believe deep down that you love them.
If you think having a job is more important than that...well, I’m sorry you feel that way.
Honestly, I think the best solution for women that want to work, but also want to be the mother of children who have a working father, is to either do contract work/sell craftables, so they can put in very few hours one week if they need to, and can still be home with their kids...Or just to wait until the kids are nearing teenage years, and so, are less psychologically and emotionally dependent upon their parents.
Oceanovo94 Mysia My idea is actually based in science and research, and yours is not. Yours is entirely anecdotal, and your objective interpretation that you and your brother are “fine” is not exactly as objective or unbiased as you think it is.
What I here from you is a whole lot about what you want for yourself and what you “feel” is right, and about how you want your independence because you don’t believe you should have to give it up. There’s a whole lot of “you” in that narrative, isn’t there?
Furthermore, no, my philosophy is not outdated. If you had read what I said and listened to me, and actually took the time to employ your powers of analytical reasoning and critical analysis, you would have understood that my belief is that kids come first, but that there are many ways that women can still work in a professional life within the contexts of familial obligation. Furthermore, it doesn’t have to be the woman - it can be the man who makes themselves available to nurture the children. In fact, if you’d bothered to explore my perspective by asking questions or clarifying information, you’d find that I also feel in certain circumstances that another adult figure can fulfil that role. Although, it really should not be a babysitter.
You’re extremely arrogant, and you’re not as intelligent or progressive as you think you are. If you really value independence, then start with intellectual independence. Especially if you’re considering the sciences as a career path, you need to learn to educate yourself and formulate unbiased, objective opinions based on logical reasoning - not your skewed perspective of what you feel the world should be. Obviously, your feelings and beliefs are an important aspect to who you are, and they matter. However, they should never be the end all be all of the conclusions you draw about what is good and bad in life.
Normally, I’m not this rude, so I apologize if you feel distressed by my comments. But to be honest, I’m getting a bid fed up with women like you. “I’m really sorry there’s people like you”...”It’s honestly a disgrace”
What I find disgraceful is that there are women who use self-righteous indignation as a means to pretend their argument is based in morality. It is not. I am arguing on behalf of the mental health and welfare of children. You are arguing for your own selfish gain.
“I would never depend economically on a man...” - Guess what. That line doesn’t make you a better person than me. Doesn’t make you smarter. Doesn’t make you harder working. I have a business, I’m launching a startup, and I’m not only building a non-profit, but I volunteer 10% of my time to non-profit organizations. I am a self-made, well educated woman, and I take pride in the fact that everything I learn and all of the skills I strive to remain top-notch in, are manifestations of my consistent dedication to be the absolute best I can professionally be. Work is my life. I don’t take weekends off. I enjoy what I do.
Would it drive me crazy to be a housewife? Yes, absolutely. I would need to have a house husband if anything. But guess what? I read numerous books on child development, I studied sociology and read research abstracts, learned about neurological development, and in the line of my work, I’ve done extensive research on generational demographics.
I gave you completely reasonable examples of why children do not fair well without a strong adult role model in their lives (particularly a family member).
You disagreed, and you use that as a reason to shame me and talk to me condescendingly, and try to guilt me about my beliefs. Way to be scientific.
My parents worked too. The fact that our parents worked does not mean that it’s the best way to raise children. Everything we know scientifically suggests otherwise. To pretend that information isn’t real just because you don’t want to make sacrifices is really very selfish of you. You might as well smoke and drink while you’re pregnant. You’re essentially saying that you would rather risk cheapening someone else’s chance to thrive in their life just because you have childish notions about your “independence”.
Guess what? In a healthy marriage, nobody has independence. So you’re in for a real shock.
I’m not knocking your mom for the decisions she made. I love my mother to death, and she was also a working woman. That’s no reason to turn your nose up at scientific information and say that the way our mothers did things is just OBVIOUSLY the best possible way they can be done, and we should exactly emulate their example.
Grow up. And trash that terrible attitude and that god awful chip on your shoulder. We don’t need another millennial mom pretending she’s gods gift to man because she’s got a job while she’s got kids. You’re a shallow, selfish, childish little girl who can’t conduct a reasonable conversation with another adult because your massive ego is so overblown that you can’t see past your own narcissistic imagination.
Or, you’re not, and I’ve wildly misjudged you as a person. Unlikely, seeing as how condescending, rude, and self-righteous you are, and how you’re willing to say that other people disgust you because they have a different opinion...but it’s possible. I am often wrong. If I’ve misjudged you, well I really, sincerely apologize for that, and you and I should try to actually have a civil conversation backed by research and knowledge so that we can discuss the progressive possibilities for mother’s who wish to integrate professionalism into their lifestyle, and whether there are laws or policies that might fairly facilitate that changing style of parentage in our culture today.
Despite the fact that I think you’ve been a brat (and I really do question how well you were actually raised), I can still at least genuinely wish you have a good rest of your day. No clue who you are, but I don’t wish a bad day upon anyone, really.
Maybe you can make some changes to the way you view other people. You have the right to speak your mind, of course, but I’m not going to sit back and be shamed and patronized by you. Don’t expect everyone to roll over when you pull out your bratty little bossy self on people. I’m not like the other boys and girls you bully into agreeing with you and I’m not your rug. I’ve earned the right to have firm beliefs. If you can do better than fantasy and rosey portrayals of your lovely childhood, I would be more than pleased to hear what you have to say. Otherwise, I recommend you start with Piaget’s book on child philosophy.
Then you can do “The whole brain child”, boring but useful. “How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk” (my favorite by far), “How Children Learn” and “How Children Fail”, works by John Holt. Then do Jane Healy. “Your Child’s Growing Mind”.
None of these will cover the sociological side of children in later ages, but it’s a good start for early childhood development at the very least. I know I’m missing one on discipline somewhere in there...but that is fair coverage for ages 0-7 or so. Of course, studying the latchkey generation is a great idea. If you want, I can send you many, many sociological studies discussing addiction, impulse control, etc related to child raising and child environment. Sociology is really the best field for understanding how early issues in childhood pertain to later issues in life. Like, for instance, the inability to listen to others, use executive brain functioning, or cope with stress.
Please stop trying to indoctrinate other women by bullying them into sharing your beliefs. Encourage women to think for themselves, not follow the crowd and swallow sensationalist media. I want women to hold themselves to a high standard of analytical reasoning and intelligent discourse. I have a feeling that you probably want the same thing. So maybe start by setting a good example.
Oceanovo94 Mysia Well you can hardly blame me for thinking you’re a brat. At least, that’s how I feel about it. I also don’t think that, as someone who should be scientifically appreciative, you can call your personal experiences an accurate reference as to the long term affects of this cultural shift of children growing up with two working parents.
For one thing, what matters is not isolated incidences that you personally recall in your own life, but statistical significance. On a grand scale, how does this attitude affect the future success of children? We have studies for that. To your way of thinking, those studies don’t matter, because you’ve had some personal experiences that biased you to think otherwise.
If you want to base your beliefs of your biases, have at it. However, to call my beliefs disgusting because they contradict your feelings - well it’s precisely that kind of attitude that I feel needs to change in our society. Women are painted as being unwilling to use logic and reasoning in their arguments. I wish they weren’t. I’m especially sick of this attitude so many “progressive” women have, that they’re right, you’re wrong, so shut up. It’s so wilfully ignorant and frankly obnoxious. I believe it actually takes us backwards, as a culture. It causes more sexism - and it’s no wonder. Who in earth wants to talk to a bossy little brat who uses arrogance to belittle other people so she can get her way?
I don’t know who taught you manners, but they failed dismally. Maybe the reason you have such a chip on your shoulder is because you never got the chance to develop a really close, personal bond with your parents. Many people live their lives striving for their parents’ affections. It makes them bitter, angry people. A babysitter isn’t a parent, no matter how much you convince yourself it was basically the same difference.
Anyways, we obviously disagree, and will continue to do so. I can at least say this though. I do understand what it’s like to feel dedicated to your profession and also want kids. I also understand the frustration of being a female, with a limited biological timeframe for building a family, and also, a heavy investment in your professional aspirations. I’m also very familiar with the fact that most people look down on housewives and don’t respect them (possibly, yourself included). Obviously, it’s a massive sacrifice. People have a right to make their own choices. But when it comes to kids, someone else’s entire life is affected by your decisions, so I do not believe they should be made based on what a person feels like they want for themselves in their own life. Not when it impacts the future of someone else. Especially when that someone is completely dependent upon your choices, and who they are is molded by what you do. That, to me, is selfish.
Personally, I think staying single is great! I’m glad I have that option on my country. Married women seldom seem to be happy, regardless of whether they stay home or pursue a career.
Breastfeeding is by far the best thing and babies deserve it.
I’m so glad I made the sacrifice to breast feed my baby it was darn hard but worth it
@Team Queen’ s Fearn Tucker and Bentley Forever you're a sick, moronic piece of shit
@Team Queen’ s Fearn Tucker and Bentley Forever are you seriously saying that breastfeeding is a sex act? You do realise that breasts are there to feed a child, that is their function. Society has sexualized breasts. If you think that breastfeeding is sexual then there is something really wrong with you.
Have you ever had the experience of breastfeeding before? I presume you haven't due to your odd views.
Do you see mammals suckling from their mother as a sex act too? I presume you don't drink cow's milk...or eat cheese.
Well, breastfeeding is indeed much more than providing food, it is a sensual and intimate act between mother and child. The great obstetrician Leboyer spoke of "faire l'amour" ("love-making") in a literal sense of the phrase. Of course it's not sex but then again you could say that an infant has its very own kind of sexuality with breastfeeding then being a human's first sexual experience.
@Team Queen’ s Fearn Tucker and Bentley ForeverI know this person is a troll and I know breastfeeding is not sex haha... but for the record: sex is not disgusting!
Fun Fact: Mothers make different milk for boys and girls. Amazing!
The nutrient density of milk also with the baby's needs. Mothers of premature babies tend to have much more rich and fatty milk than mothers of healthy babies.
Oohi didn't know that, that's interesting. How does it work with twins of different genders?
+Michele J That's what I wondered too but I can't find anything on that.
@@michelethe80sbaby it's the same. Even with one kid the milk changes day to day depending on the nutritional needs of the baby. Even providing certain anti bodies on days they are needed. The temperature of the milk will also change depending on the child's temperature... If the child is too warm etc
With twins being fed at the same time. Each breast will adjust to the needs of the child feeding.
Its absolutely fascinating how it works.
It also means that pumped milk while still much better than formula is a still only a close 2nd to straight from the breast.
And that's just the physical aspects.
Ha I have 3 kids.. I had a walking encyclopaedia for a midwife on my last one. I learned SO much about the whole process. Felt like I had a university lecture after every visit 😁
penelope pittstop much appreciated, thank you!
I am a nineteen-year-old girl who has never been in a relationship in my life, but I've literally had a dream before about nursing a baby. It was a pleasant dream. Biology is wild.
Kurimson Kitsune so is Yahuah and Yashua
I had a pretty vivid dream about my “baby”. He had black curls and green eyes, and the most beautiful smile. My cousin dreamed about her “baby” too, but she only got to see her feet.
Neither of us have babies by the way! Haha.
Just wait until you feel in your womb, not your mind, that you want to carry a baby :0
I've had the same dream. It felt so real and I felt this bond and intense peace with the baby. I was thinking how can I feel what I haven't experienced.
@@Jeca299 Well, it's a dream. I didn't actually end up having a baby, and if I did, there's no way it would look like that. But dreams can be extremely vivid! Think of the nightmares you had as a kid - they're horrible. Your mind can go crazy places when your senses are shut off.
Reminder that there are women who are physically incapable of breastfeeding and have to formula feed. I’m one of them, if you’re feeling sad or like maybe you’re baby won’t get all the bonding time and physical benefits of BF i’m here to reassure you that you’re kiddo will be totally fine. I was unable to breastfeed past 6 weeks due to lack of milk production and stress, my son is super well rounded, healthy, is 12 months old and has not been sick even one day and is thriving emotionally. Breast is the best you can do but formula is a miracle for those of us who need it. (And it’s come a long way and is far healthier than it was) Feed your baby confidently and don’t feel bad.
There is not enough support for mothers. Society makes breastfeeding look easy, when it’s a long hard process. Only 5% of women can actually not breastfeed. More information and support is needed. My daughter breastfed dry for 4 days, if I didn’t have the support of my mother I would have given up or would have been told by another family member that she was starving (when she wasn’t). Most women CAN breastfeed, but don’t know how.. what is normal and what is not. Using a pacifier is also huge issue for deterioration in milk. If you ever choose to do it again, please seek support. Women need to be empowered to keep going and not be rushed to get back to work or get back in shape... or all the other societal bull crap.
@@lolli2943 I think in a lot of cases you have to be very passionate about breastfeeding and hell bent on making it work for it to work. I’ve got 2 children and with both I had breastfeeding issues at first partly because of undetected tongue tie and partly because of pain relief used at childbirth causing baby to be too sleepy to feed. It’s a long and tiring uphill battle to address the issue and feed on demand around the clock, but it’s worth the time investment to make it right. In both instances midwives, medical professionals and family members were pressurising me to switch to formula because the babies were loosing too much weight due to my supply not meeting their demand etc, but with perseverance I breastfed my eldest for 2 years and I’m breastfeeding my 2nd (10 month old) currently. You do have to beg, plead, research, stay awake at all hours and shed a lot of tears in the process to set things right. It’s really sad that there such a lack of support for something so valuable.
@@lolli2943 this is possibly the very best comment I have ever seen in regards to breastfeeding. You completely hit the nail on the head. ❤️
@@wingingitwithwildlings thank you 😊 ... it’s a very upsetting topic for me ...since I’ve heard “ I can’t breastfeed” so many times. It’s hurts like hell, your baby is going to loose weight (it’s normal), and like mine baby wouldn’t wake up to eat either. All of these are absolutely normal, and are not reasons to give up or be made to think something is wrong with you. The best piece of advice I received (from my mother) if you look at a mother cat (or any animal for that matter) they never move.. they let their kitten eat when they want and only get up for water or to feed themselves. That’s how breastfeeding in the first couple months is supposed to be. We are animals.
@@lolli2943 exactly that. Which is why I do not agree with the ‘fed is best’ phrase. Being fed is a human right, the best thing for an infant is to be fed by the breast from their mother. The emotional bond that breastfeeding brings is incomparable to any other bond, let alone all the positive health benefits that breastfeeding brings for both mother and baby. When people say ‘breastfeeding made me get postnatal depression.’ ‘My baby just couldn’t take to breastfeeding so I had to give formula’. It is simply untrue, if you look for the support you can/will breastfeed. Like you said only 5% of mothers can’t breastfeed but only 24% of mothers exclusively breastfeed their baby after 6 weeks in the UK ( where i am ).
Breast feeding is very very important, and women get endorphins when they breast feed which gives them a huge sense of natural peace and bonding with the baby. Breastfeeding is also extremely important for the baby. Most good midwives can help a woman learn to breastfeed if she is having trouble. It would help if Society was more supportive.
I wasn't breastfed because I refused the milk for whatever reason. I don't know how much of an impact it has had on me or my mom. But I wonder if a lot of my struggles today have to do with not being breastfed. For some reason, I have always had a slight fear of human touch and closeness. I remember this since I was a kid. I hope it wasn't caused by not being breastfed.
Right, and women need to not freak out when it doesn't come naturally at first. We do need teachers and to understand the whole thing. I had two babies. One took a little bit of me learning how to facilitate it. The second one, I knew how to do it but the second one had different tendencies and had to learn.
@@awakenow7147
I hate to say this, but chances are, you are right ...
My therapist, whom, like Dr. Peterson, has 20+ years of clinical experience and expertise behind her, has long surmised that a fair bit of my being the way I am is, amongst my other stuff, not being breastfed ...
I can apear to aloof, almost detached, even borderline recluse ...
But, and forgive me if this sounds like I am projecting, deep down within me is this overwhelming sense of longing, that, if I don't keep it locked down, will crash through me. My fear of touch and closeness, is, in actual fact, the fear of the other person letting go, or, worse, not wanting to be that close at all ...
If my thesis is correct, it means those most afraid of touch, are often the most touch-starved, that the fear of touch is actual the fear of rejection; some holes are just too deep to be easily filled ...
By the way, it is important to note that having such problems are not weaknesses, but vulnerabilities ... something which Dr. Peterson has elucidated far better than I ever can. It actually takes a great strength of character to look at oneself in the mirror, and see the reflection staring back; thus, it is the weak person whom is the least likely to fully understand their vulnerabilities, and to work on them ...
@@nigelft Thank you for the honest comment. Its strange but...it is almost as if you were describing me. Aloof, a recluse, never feeling part of any group...these are all traits that I strongly have. In regards to the lack of breast-feeding, my mom was actually deeply insulted/hurt that I refused her milk. This led her to treat me differently in subtle ways as I grew older. I feel that this also created feelings of shame in me.
And yes, the sense of longing is intense. I do want human contact very e much. But like you said, the fear of losing it is a lot to bear. So I avoid it for the most part. Over the years, I have fashioned myself as something of a "monk". Of course, I am no monk. But I live meagerly, I keep to a small circle of friends, and I do no engage in frivolous dating or things of that nature.
I did indeed feel that I was "weak" for being this way...I still do. And for years, I've tried to convince myself that I'm "better" than everyone else. More disciplined. I pretend that I don't need to be touched or be involved with other people. But as I'm sure you know, this was all a lie that I've told myself. I am currently working on myself as you said. Talking to my therapist. And taking time every day to be with myself and allow the vulnerabilities to be there.
@@awakenow7147
You are always welcome, and thanks for your honest comment too ...
Everything you said makes total sense to me because the old adage is true: it takes one to know one ... everything you said I see alot of myself in too ...
That is why I think Dr. Peterson has exploded so much on the world stage. When he gets emotional, as in actually shedding tears, is when he speaks of how many have thanked him, simply because of the few words of encouragement he speaks, and how it sadens him that there is this sheer lack of just that tiny bit of encouragement in the world ... so when he speaks of vunerabilities being strengths, not weaknesses, I has grasped hold of something very fundamental; that being human involves having vunerabilities. One can turn that into a strength: to be empathetic and compassionate in an often dark and cruel world, for in darkness, even the smallest flame can appear to be a bright light ...
Having been in therapy longer than I care to admit, I know it is hard work; but that you have rolled up your sleeves, and started working on yourself is a good thing ... just remember, no matter how hard it gets, and if your therapist is decent, there are days when after a session you feel punch drunk, that means they are doing their job ...
One last thing; don't get too hooked up into being a 'involuntary' monk; yes, it is hard being out there, but as my therapist is pushing me towards, being isolated isn't a healthy thing. Expand your horizons, get involved with stuff that you enjoy, but within your budget. You never know; for me, finding the Steampunk community has been incredible rewarding, as they are a very accepting bunch ... and, like finding my fiancé, you may find that someone, too ...
I wish you the very best ...
I like that he is saying this because he has mostly Male viewers. Men today dont like the idea of supporting their wives staying home or working less to raise a child. They would rather her work and have more consumer goods then blame her for the children's health and emotional problems. Xbox has replaced providers
I think you're onto something there.
what, this is plain wrong and actually the exact opposite. WOMEN are the ones battling about all this equality shit and diving into the work force. I've NEVER seen a man reject the idea of his wife staying at home taking care of the children, but trust me, when a man suggest that to a women, my god, the amount of hate towards him is unbelievable.
I'm having trouble finding a woman who is comfortable with the idea of staying home. It's always "oh, I have to have a degree and a phd and work 90h"
This is so true! I know so many men that make their wives work so they can buy things that don't matter. Then if you do work not all jobs will give you extended time to pump while on break. Ita just easier to not have kids till you have a high income husband. So sad.
@@davifurtado6534 staying at home is not easy though, and most people in general (both female and male) simply don't want to do it. There can be something soul-destroying about relying on another person financially, about your life revolving around kids and a house, about not having colleagues and a daily purpose outside your family. Add to that the fact that it puts the person doing it in a vulnerable position both professionally and financially in the event of a divorce or the earning spouse being incapacitated and unable to work, and it's no wonder that most people are simply not willing to do it! Are you?
@@lavienestpasunlongfleuvetr2559 hell yeah I am, because I trust myself and I know that I will choose the right partner. The thing is, women are the ones with the boobs and it's good to breastfeed for at least a year, so they are more "put into it" than a man. I wouldn't mind staying at home, but I'm someone who always seeks the "best performance" of something so I know that a children being breastfed (which is something impossible for me to do) by her mother will be better.
But what you said enlightened me. Now I know that I have to find someone with a mind strong enough to 'endure' such things and smart enough to know that she chose a good provider.
But the way you put it makes the corporate world look so wonderful, and come on, 80% of people hate their jobs, yet said people don't want to stay at home? To me it sounds like fear of commitment
Also, being a stay at home mother is not a permanent job. If you want so desperately to 'prove' the world you are capable of earning a prestigious career then have kids, wait until they are maybe 6 or 7 and you can go have you career. If you had your baby when you are 24, there you go, you are 30 now and still have another 30 years to build your career.
There is also remote work that I see a lot of stay at home moms do, and that is probably what I'll suggest to my future wife
My mother took a maternity leave of about 3 months with me. I was breastfed until I self-weened at 9 months. I grew up to have “mommy issues” as they say, because despite having been breastfed, I was raised largely by daycares and babysitters when all I wanted was to be with my mom, who was a workaholic. The feelings of rejection and the coldness I got from her still affect me now as a 30 year old. It cannot be overstated how valuable it is to be a SAHM, breastfeeding or not. Despite having sought out an extensive education and planning to be a career woman per the pressure of aforementioned mother, when I met my husband and got pregnant, I knew I couldn’t repeat what my mom did with me. I was unable to breastfeed safely because of the lifesaving medication I had to take post-pregnancy, but I DO get to spend my days with my precious daughter at home, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything. It’s possible to have a beautiful bond and a healthy child though you are unable to breastfeed.
mm, my mother could never breastfeed me or my siblings because of a medical condition. i spent most time with my grandparemts the first three years of my life because of my parents work schedules( they worked the same hours so none lo them could stay with me those hours) since i would throw horrible tantrums in daycare. my mother never stopped working, and i nevel felt abandoned by her nor do i have any mommy issues and we are very close, as my brothers are with her and between each other and with me. the fact that your mother was a cold person doesn't have to do with her working out of home. you can be a stay at home and still be a cold detached parent.
I'm sorry of what you went through with your mom.. And I'm glad that you're able to build a bond with your child.
Agreed. You don’t need to breast feed to be a good mum and have some unbreakable bond with your child. Just need to be present and loving every day.
Its very rough to leave your infant
Oh yes...
Agreed.
Heartbreaking actually
Leaving a new baby with your mom helps!
Wasn't for me, but I am not the most maternal person I know.
6:55
When he says "functioning breasts" and imaginarily squeezes them. Lmao
Humming Brook HAHAHAHAH
I laughed
Squeezing them with those lobster claws if you know what I mean
Humming Brook A real man!! ❤❤
That fucking physical Freudian slip haha.
Watching this while breastfeeding my 15 month old and a single mother. People keep saying it’s time to stop she’s old enough but I’m just gonna keep going for as long as I can. It’s not only the best most complete food they can get it’s a regulatory mechanism while they cannot self regulate yet
Still breastfeeding my 23 month old. Everyones pressuring me to stop too! Not stopping, we're loving it♥️
@@xVirtueToVice let go mama, get over yourself and your need for being needed...
@@Mshabbak I'm still breastfeeding my 3.5 year old. Know why? Cause that's what nature intended. Back in the 70s they used to tell women NOT to breastfeed because formula was "better", lo and behold, after much research, that turned out to be wrong. Just like your opinion.
Wow.
@@Mshabbak eww. What a disgusting comment. Shame on you!
Shout out to the moms who work and pump during it! It is haaaaaard!!!!!!!! I'm going on almost a month and dammm. The commitment!!! Gezzzz.
I get so much hate trying to encourage and promote breastfeeding. It is amazing.creates a calmer healthier child and makes the bond something you can't imagine if you haven't done it. It makes me sad when mothers say they have no intention of even trying to breastfeed. I use breast milk on any cut or burn and it's healed within a day or 2. It works with the child's immune system and changes when he is sick. On top of all that you lose almost all your baby weight within a month and shrinks your uterus to normal size and helps prevent breast cancer. Compare that to formula which the main ingredients are milk/corn/soy, vegetable oil and supplements
@Team Queen’ s Fearn Tucker and Bentley Forever lol what? Yeah it has white blood cells in it. It's better than Neosporin
You are forgetting sugar. Sugar is a top ingredient in formula.
I saw a woman put her breast milk on her stretch marks and they started to vanish! I'm pretty sure this stuff can cure cancer! Breastfeeding all the way! I just wish I was drinking it too haha.
Actually.. Breast feeding doesn't "help prevent breast cancer" so much as it brings it back to the normal. What I mean by this is that it is the act of NOT breast feeding that RAISES the chances of breast cancer. Your mammary glands get all ready to produce milk and then are just cut off before completing the process. Either if dried up using a pill like they used to or binding- both seem very unnatural. Same with abortion or miscarriage- increases the risk of breast cancer because of these bodily processes being messed with. I feel like they just say it the way they do instead of this way is because they don't want women to feel like theyre increasing their chance of breast cancer by formula feeding... but thats literally what is happening. You'll have to ask the government, and healthcare industry why they don't say it the correct way.
Who is hating you for trying to encourage breast feeding?
I had to go back to work at 6 weeks for my younger two boys. We were migrants in a new country with no family or friends support. There was no maternity payment for the time I was off work, so being the breadwinner I had no choice...either work and eat, or stay home and starve. This was between 2003 and 2005 in Australia.
With the eldest child born in 2001, I had 5 months with him before starting my first job in our new country. In order to try keep up the breastfeeding as long as possible I would breastfeed him in his sleep early in the morning before rushing off to work, and then late again at night when I got back. It was a crazy time but we survived somehow. I certainly regret not being able to have more time with my children and more time for myself to recover physically from the births and have had my share of sadness about this.
I was fortunate though to have very kind and loving carers who cared for the babies in their own homes, and we were able to maintain stability in carers for the most part in the very early months and years, which certainly helped.
All this said, my children have grown into wonderful , caring, respectful and well adjusted young people with great hearts, and we love each other deeply. For that I am eternally grateful
i hate how america fails at maternity/ paternity leave
😍
My wife decided to leave her job when she was 6 months pregnant and hasn’t looked back now we have our 1 year old girl. Breastfeeding does matter and I’m so thankful my wife has become the center of the world for our little girl. #shitain’teasy #smartkid #rightdecision
Some fathers find it hard to handle this mother-baby bond and create unnecessary stress with their jealousy, ignoring the harm caused.
I knew I was right, I breastfeed my 4 children exclusively for 12-14 months each. I was 22 when I had my first daughter who now is 12 and I’m so glad I newsfeed all my kids. I was looked down by some people because I would feed my kids anywhere, I would always carry a breastfeeding cover with me so I would feel more comfortable.
Not sure what I stumbled upon, but I really like this video. I thought I was going to go back to work after having my child, but once he came I just couldn’t. Something in me would not allow me to go back so I ended up quitting and staying home for a year.
Brilliant as ever. Staying at home with my lo has been amazing & bfeeding is so beneficial.
agreed, wouldn't trade the experience for anything!
Yep!
First child I'm assuming
Madam Sophia bottle feeding is beneficial as well.
That Girl Reacts How? I’m just curious.
I’m very blessed to have had the opportunity to stay home with my little boy and breastfeed while my husband earned. Not everyone is as fortunate. Parenthood is extremely difficult.
Leaving my first daughter has been the most painful thing ever!!! I didn’t expect it to be that hard. Now that I have a second child, I am truly considering finding something I can do at home. I just don’t wanna leave her. My kids are my life and the main reason I wake up in the morning! It is hard!!!!
Sandrine Bakombo good luck lovely I hope you will be able to find something from home so you can stay with your baby xx
This goes beyond breastfeeding being good for infants. This touches on the necessity of clear cut gender roles. One person commented that her husband pushed her to go back to work after she had their first child. She even mentioned that it psychologically was hard on her to leave her baby and go back to work.
Gender roles are not just biologically necessary in order to reproduce! A man that pushes his wife to go back to work after she has had a child is not a man! A man takes pride in being able to care for and provide for HIS family! Men that won’t step up to the plate and do so are not mature or responsible!
Our world has become so messed up! Women aren’t just biologically made to bond and nurture children. We are biologically programmed to be nesters, to create a warm and welcoming environment. We are primarily nesters to create a safe and welcoming environment for children, but nesting benefits the whole family including the husband and extended family. The majority of women are happier NOT working full time. MOST OF ALL, WHY WORK FULLTIME OUTSIDE OF THE HOME WHEN YOU HAVE TO PAY SOMEONE ELSE TO CARE FOR YOUR CHILDREN? THAT MAKES NO SENSE!
Why not have the husband work some overtime and cut back on stupid expenses such as cable tv, excess electronic gadgets and services so that the family can afford to have the wife stay at home full time OR since entrepreneurship is so highly touted these days, why not create more husband and wife enterprises that the wife can help out with part time from the home and husband pursue after regular work hours? Having a wife at home full time isn’t just better for the infant but for the family as a whole.
Lastly, running a home is more than cooking, cleaning and doing laundry. Our society points out all the work a woman has to do at home once she gets off of work and pushes men to be domesticated to pick up the slack. Why not have more women stay at home full time and work part time?
Natalie Johnson I think the problem is people want the cable tv, brand new gadgets, lots of clothes and excess toys, going out to eat, etc and aren’t willing to sacrifice the stuff or the big house or the vacations to stay home.
I do see your point, but, as peterson pointed out, this is a concept that will work for a majority but not all women. The problem is rather that society feels like it needs to set ONE standard that shall then fit everyone. Some moms want to work because they like their job and/or feel restrained by only ever taking care of the home/children. Especially if you had an intellectually challenging job before and enjoyed that, you may get bored quickly at home. The point is that families have to find something that works for them. If the father is better with children, more patient, etc. than he should stay home, if it is the other way around, the woman should be the primary caregiver. Important is that children get one-on-one attention when they are young, and that their caregiver is not constantly frustrated with them.
Well said!
Kathrin Lindern agreed! Better to have a few hours of awesome attention from mom than get ignored for 12 hours by a mom who is bored with staying home. I think that a lot of women are working unhappily for money for things they probably don’t need though. It seems like I’ve observed it a lot in life. In our pursuit of stuff we miss out on time with our kiddos that we can’t get back. Of course that doesn’t apply to everyone :).
THIS! 🙌
Breastfeeding was near on impossible for me. After speaking with breastfeeding specialists and councillors, hiring a hospital grade pump to 'up my supply' and using nipple shields to enable latching I was at a loss. I turned to pumping and bottle feeding breast milk where I could, but I found out that the breast milk itself is only one thing - the skin to skin, eye contact and closeness of the feeding is what enables the bond to form, brain to develop and enhance intellectual ability in baby. I feed from a bottle as I would from a breast. We do what we can.
this guy has a few vids that make me eye roll lol
bottle and formula are amazing too.
he also said grab babys leg and kerp saying no to train thrm..um..no lol
He said in the video that you could successfully bottlefeed, and that is what you did.
@@sarahlalonde3630 Agreed. There are some videos where he makes excellent points and is right on the money, but he has VERY patriarchal views and some of them are quite degrading and dismissive. I am definitely not a feminist: I don't believe in the 'wage gap', I don't believe women are treated lesser than men, but I do believe there are still men out there who hold very patriarchal views of where a woman's place should be. It is interesting that Peterson's daughter, who is grown, has suffered depression, anxiety, and self-deletion thoughts. What does that tell you?
@@28FlyingDutchmanYou sound like someone who was bottle fed
Roll your eyes as much as you want it just means you’re rolling your eyes to countless scientific papers. Don’t shoot the messenger
Solution: maternal and paternal leaves and stay at home support. We have that in Finland. You can be at home I think up to two or three years and government gives tuition for that. After that you can go back to worklife and resume your career.
Same in Estonia. I can be home with my child for 3 years and my job is still waiting for me. Plus goverment pays me the exact same salary as I earned before (this is until the baby is 18 months old). And the family can choose who stays home- mom or dad. I think no women should have to choose between family and a job, it is possible to have both at least in most european countries.
"The hate speech never ends with you" LMAO
Jane Angela Really? Open your mind and your ears! Where is the “hate speech” in this?
val, did you watch the whole video? she was quoting Rubin's final joke at the end. and LMAO stands for Laughing My Ass Off
It was a rather good joke at the end, made me smile. Good explanation at the end as well, it seems logical if you remove all the environmental influences you only end up with the biological difference. Seems logical now but i also would not have predicated it.
So basically he's saying that men can take on the maternal role and women can take on the paternal role if they have the right temperament, character and warmth for the job. Which is basically what he says at 3:30. This is particularly helpful for gay/lesbian couples or single parents. But truly, there's no match for a great mother and a great father that love and respect each other. Well, I can't say I'm surprised.
I gave up my daughter for adoption. Shortly thereafter, a friend took me shopping at a Target store. I was freaking out. I kept feeling that I had forgotten something. I did not want to walk my dog for 2 years, because I was afraid that another dog would kill him. Biology is strong!
Michelle Blanchard
I really, really, really don't understand how anyone could give away their own child. :((
Twisted with Sarcasm if you love the child enough to know that it would be better off living with someone else you do it. There is no greater gift that you can give your child or the adoptive parents.
Michelle Blanchard
Sorry. But I have to strongly disagree. You gave up on your little baby. Why? What reason? What was so difficult?
Ofcourse, you don't have to answer. It's just I can't help but observe this from the perspective of the child, who will simply be confused and hurt as to why their mother gave them away. They'll compare themselves to other children whose mother didn't give them away. I can imagine their thought process...
"Their mothers cared about them. Why didn't mine care about me?"
I realise this comes across as a horrible comment to read. But as harsh as it is, it isn't meant as a personal insult to you. It's just I personally can't understand why you would do that. :(
Twisted with Sarcasm actually, my daughter is very happy and is with two parents who utterly adore her, a firefighter and nurse who quit her job to be a stay at home mom to 2 adopted children. I was raised by a mentally ill mother on Welfare in the inner city with no other relatives to help us. I wanted my daughter to have more than I did. I had no understanding of how to properly raise a child because my mother was a terrible one. Love is not always enough. They send me pictures and she can meet me when and if she likes. She lives in a lovely area with good schools. She goes to the pumpkin patch and on trips to Mexico every year. She has money for college, nice clothes, cousins and grandparents. With me she would have none of those things. We would be taking the bus with the crazy people and eating Ramen. I am also a loner and avoid people, that is not good for children.
Michelle Blanchard I think this is a very reasonable decision you made and I feel bad that you have to defend your decision in such an anonymous place as UA-cam. My mother is mentally ill too and I had years of therapy before I was capable to have and raise my two adorable children. I wish you all the best!
Breast cancer survivor who couldn’t breastfeed and both my kids are fine .. they slept through the night at a month old and it was amazing .
Same here! My oldest is now a toddler, never been ill a single day of his life and is ahead of his age in terms of height, speech and fine motor skills. The younger is 7 months old and is already attempting to stand and walk, sleeps all night since he was 1 month old and is hañpy and healthy as can be. Both have a GREAT bond both with me and my husband, and we never ever regret me not being able to breastfeed (all the contrary!). Fed is best, period.
I breastfeed my daughter. She's 8 months old and still wakes up once or twice a night. Are you implying that's bad?
Fed is best insinuates giving the baby anything is fine. Be it cows milk or sewage. Actually reminds me, I checked a backup bottle of formula I had in case breastfeeding didn't workout (because I'm not anti-formula) and surprised me what crap they put in there, including palm oil.
'Fed is best' gives the formula industry permission to put more crap in their products. Loved is best.
@@burtv1610 Keep riding your high horse. What part of "BREAST CANCER SURVIVOR" did you miss?
I breastfed til 20 months and my son woke hourly for feeds for the first year. After that, it became less but it was dangerous because I became so depleted I could have passed out.
With hindsight, I'd have weaned a little earlier and topped up with occasional bottles to get him to sleep better. He was the world's worst sleeper and it made me ill
@@violatralala read my comment again. I suggest you don't attack the people on your side.
Best thing I ever did in my life was breastfeeding both my son and daughter for over a year. I was blessed and thrilled to be a stay at home mom and wife. No one can take that pure happiness away from me. It was hard but amazing.
Breast truly is best, although I recognize that it isn't feasible for every mother and there is no shame in that. Here are some alternatives for women who do not produce milk, must take medication harmful to baby, or have to work due to economic hardship, etc:
-When bottle feeding, maintain skin to skin contact, so hold baby up to your bare chest or stomach while feeding.
-Maintain eye-contact if possible.
-Share baths (you shower first) so baby can get your microbes*
-Take advantage of early samples and try to find the best formula for baby, and take note of breastmilk donation banks if you can afford it.
-Baby-wear when possible to maintain physical closeness (and enjoy the blessed benefit of free hands!)
*The physical contact of the breast and baby's mouth also causes the mother to create microbes in response to the germs in baby's saliva, which she transfers back to baby during breastfeeding. In addition to the multitude of other benefits, this is a really cool one that people don't frequently discuss. Mothers are literally capable of substituting a newborn's lack of an immune system!
@Team Queen’ s Fearn Tucker and Bentley Forever did you really just call breastmilk a 'dirty body fluid'? Wow. Just wow. Breastmilk is actually naturally sterile and safer than formula. Thats why you have to use cooled boiled water to make formula...so it kills any potential pathogens.
@Team Queen’ s Fearn Tucker and Bentley Forever no. It really isn't. What do you suggest that babies eat?
@Team Queen’ s Fearn Tucker and Bentley Forever formula? So instead of using human milk, you use milk based on cows breast milk? Also, not all babies are ready for solids at 4 months. The recommendation of 6 months is there for a reason.
Also babies are not meant to sleep all night. By force feeding them or filling them up with other things, you can actually stretch their stomach or increase their SIDs risk. Just like babies are meant to sleep near their mothers and not in their own room. Babies cry for a reason. A mother reacting to that and her baby is how the baby develops.
Also you should not deny a baby food just because you want to wean them. Babies are meant to be fed on demand, as adults we eat when we are hungry, not when we are told. Why would you expect a baby to feed on your schedule? This is one of the problems with formula. People are so obsessed with how much a baby has had or how long you can stretch a feed out that they have forgot its a bloody baby. Stopping night time feeds at 3 weeks?!?!? Its a developing baby! How can a baby develop if you aren't feeding it enough.
You are treating a human being as an object. As they are all the same and not every baby is different. Next you will tell me you shouldnt pick a baby up when it cries or hug it after 3 weeks....
@Team Queen’ s Fearn Tucker and Bentley Forever and milk feeds should be continued up to 1 and beyond. Not stopped at 6-7 months. Bloody hell. What have you been reading to be so misinformed?!
@Team Queen’ s Fearn Tucker and Bentley Forever actually, babies do still get a lot from milk. Studies show that even after 2 years, infants still get benefits from breastmilk. That is why it is suggested to breastfeed for two years and beyond. Breastfeeding is also not just about nutrition. It is good for the babies gut health, can act as a painkiller, helps their immune system, can help them go to sleep quicker, is a source of comfort, reduces SIDs....shall i go on?
My mother breast fed me and I swear I have foggy memories of times looking into her eyes and feeding. I was even called a mother's boy by my sibs who for some reason weren't breast fed. Being a guy I have little opinion other than in saying that I know for fact that my mom was eveything to me while my older siblings were not quite the same. Or something. I don't know. I do know that I'm okay with whatever theory you may have. Unlike my brother or sister. She was my world and everything. The most beautiful person that ever lived. No shame. None. My sibs say that kind of thing like it's a contest or something. I genuinely meant it. My mother was angelic...
This is probably true in most cases, but interestingly enough, my husband was not breastfed and he has a much less turbulent relationship with his mother than his older sister who was breastfed...
Sweet
I have no opinion. My husband was breast fed and his mother is not a maternal human being. They are not close. I don't believe that breastfeeding creates a bond predictably. I have observed no difference in people who were breast fed. It's wild how strongly people can feel about something intangible. Breast milk is great. Formula is great too and has literally saved lives.
I went back to work early as we were financially screwed ... I was physically and emotionally destroyed when I left our daughter with her grandma ... our relationship suffered because my sorrow grew into envy ... my mum was witnessing all my daughter's firsts ... first word, first step, first hug ... I distanced myself from the pain and our relationship never evolved ... 7 years later we had our son ... I refused to work and we are so close ... I had to prove to myself that I could be a good, loving mother ...
I'm in my early 20s and when I'm at that place in my life where I either want or have a kid, I want to spend it's first years entirely stay-at-home, and I do mean years. I already know what it's like when parents are always working, not to mention school occupying so much time. I don't care if I'm broke or people scold me for being a "jobless bum mooching off my husband" but it's my maternal duty. I want to create more well adjusted people for the world
It pisses me off how people say stay at home moms are mooching lol.. its a round the clock job you can’t clock out of. Especially when you’re breastfeeding you’re on call😅 it’s hard taking care of a baby. There are some moms who don’t raise their babies or do jack shit around the house. But for the most part most moms do alot
If you want to be a stay at home that's on you, but you HAVE TO UNDERSTAND what that means. My biggest beef with childless women is that you all THINK you know what you want until it actually happens, then you panic and throw all of your plans to the fourwinds. Do research, talk w your partner, have a plan, dont just decide "im going to do this one thing and this one thing only and nothing not even death, poverty or divorce" will stop me. Bc that seems incredibly selfish imo. Even stay at home moms reach a compromise w their husbands, working moms also reach a compromise. you cant just decide shit on your own and think everything will turn out ok you arent single anymore
Mooching of who? your husband is your provider dumbass that is one of core duties of a husband to provide and protect is literally hardwired in men
I exclusively breast fed two babies for 4 years, I was so proud. So when I had my twins 10 weeks early, couldn’t hold them for days, couldn’t breastfeed... I pumped my heart out. I pumped so much milk for them they tripled their weight in 2 1/2 months. That’s the strength and love of a mother. I wish they would breastfeed but they don’t have the same strength and stamina a full term baby has. It breaks my heart somedays but I also know they ARE getting my breastmilk and I will continue to pump for as long as I’m producing milk!
You go momma! Good job doing what you need to for your precious babies. Congratulations and bless you 🙏
This makes me so happy and reassured that I kept at breastfeeding my baby! It was very hard in the beginning, I got mastitis and bled, needed medication but we did it and my child is thriving ❤
I worked so hard to get breastfeeding down as a first time mom. It was a very challenging process but I did it! All the fears and frustration the first week were worth it! We both have it down now!
I've seen other people go after him but spoke of the things he says it's just deeply honest and hard to dismiss. I nursed all 4 of my children up to a year for my girls and 6-9 for my 2 boys. It helped me be a better mom because I was able to connect with them.
I stopped breastfeeding at 1 mo. When I found out that my soon to be ex husband was cheating, I got so depressed that my body just stopped producing milk. It's been almost one year and It still hurts having to bottle feed my daughter. It was the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me, the connection was amazing. Sadly I am never going to experience that again and it lasted so little...
I am so so sorry that happened to you! I hope you and your little one will have the best life from now on.
If you earn 2 times more then him , you will be broke so no! ...plus most men I know rely on women to do the shopping , cooking , cleaning and even majority of time looking after small children while say he goes gym or does his own thing (speaking from experience) but If the child’s grandparents whether it be on the mans or woman’s side are willing , retires or leaves job earlier then should can be able look after the kids, look after kids while they work if child is sick or pick up /drop off the kids from daycare / preschool or take them to their hobbies/ sports . I say it’s so important women find men that earn as much as they do or more and have parents that are willing to support the load of looking after the kids too and not just one side for instance the women and her mother ) doing it all. There are mothers out there that I feel so much empathy for so it’s crucial you pick the right men to have kids with and not men that want to be your child instead doing equal parenting , that don’t want to hold 50 percent of the responsibilities towards raising kids. It’s a woman’s responsibility to make sure we know the kind of person we have kids with and not just have kids to men that care more about attending to the gym, clothing or sitting down after work and being catered 24/7 then looking after his own kids or taking part or taking over household responsibilities i.e cooking, washing up , ironing, , clothing / washing kids , changing nappies, or working/ study just as hard to provide a better lifestyle/ future for his kids so they may have more than you. If not women will eventually become angry, exhausted, depressed and it’s not good for the kids! Love and a job isn’t all you need to raise kids, it takes so much more determination and willingness, you need a man that helps without being asked too... otherwise you will struggle immensely. I know so many men that won’t or can’t handle obvious responsibilities that should be equally shared of their own children especially when they’re 0-5 years besides going to work and coming home. They just won’t do it it’s as if they are scared to take on these roles , somehow they think it’s the mother job that somehow they will develop breasts if they do. I despise these men and urge women to put your foot down if this is the case or get a divorce to TEACH them how it too. So many men marry to be looked after, after they leave their mothers home by marrying out of necessity because its the thing to do, and some pick women who they know earn more just so they know they will be looked after.... it’s a tragedy to everyone involved who has to sacrifice for his unwillingness to want to do more!
“It’s hard by men to do right by infants in the first year.” My husband would definitely agree. 🤣 Four babies in.
It's not hard for men to do right by their children in the first year. That is a load of B.S. It's more of, THEY DON'T WANT TO. Peterson is full of shit. There is nothing hard about comforting an upset infant or changing a dirty diaper. How is it a man can manage to put a fellow man on the moon, yet be so "clueless" when it comes to changing a diaper or comforting a sick or upset baby? We allow men to slack off and use weaponized incompetence when what we really should be doing is holding their feet to the fire and force them to pull their weight. It takes two to make a baby and it takes two to raise a baby.
As a case in point: read one of the comments left above by a man. He stated, "As the father of two kids, I use the, "I'm just not equipped to be a primary care giver" argument all time. I love my kids to the moon and back, but dad is for rough and tumble play mostly". Pathetic. In other words, he only wanted to be around for the "fun" parts and stick mom with the heavy lifting.
Thank god my father wasn't like this. He was 100% involved with all 3 of his children, and not once did he ever leave a component of child-raising to my mother to handle alone. In fact, in one of our home videos, my mother recorded him taking me to my changing table where he changed my diaper, all while he sang and talked to me, then rocked me after to comfort me. THAT is a real father. Not some slacker who wants to be around only for the fun stuff.
I love how Jordan Peterson states facts without worrying about so called "hate speech." Facts are facts whether specific demographics want to hear it or not.
If the mother isn't very maternal, why have children? If you can't mother your child properly (including the most important thing for infants, nursing them at mother's breast), why have them? Obviously it isn't for the best interest of the child. If the father isn't 100% on board with proper raising of infants, then I would advise not having babies.
So how would you advise a mother who's breasts did not produce anything more than colostrum like mine. and also how would you advise a mother who chose to adopt her child Like My Mother adopted Me. I get it, you're passionate about breastfeeding and I am too. I'm still pissed that I couldn't breastfeed my daughter. Another thing: my birth mother breastfed me. She also allowed her boyfriends to sexually abuse me!!! There is alot to childrearing...
@@nanmari9362 she was getting at the point of why have children when you your not maternal. Nothing about adoption or lack of breast milk for a newborn
@@seanpadraigobrien1260 "if you cant mother your child properly (including the most important thing for infants, nursing them at the mothers breast) why have them?" What do you make of that?
I'm not super maternal by nature but love my kiddos and want what is best for them even if i dont find things like snuggling personally enjoyable. You dont have to be totally agreeable to have kids, but you better be really self disciplined to make up for it.
Life isn't perfect, ever.
Img the idea of divorcing yourself from a relationship with your child in order to go back to work is so real. This is a real modern day issue
I am so glad to have found this video, especially reading the comments. It’s helped me with my decision. Thank you!
Such a great conversation. Thank you and so much respect!
I am the higher earner. I returned to work at 12 weeks. I was very ready! I love my job. We also were fortunate to set up very supportive care arrangements. We ended up starting a daycare on-site where I work, so I could just go down and nurse her the days she was there. My husband and I also don't work all the same days so she isn't in daycare every day. The mental health of the mother is important. I would have REALLY struggled if my child was 3-6 mo during quarantine. Instead, I had a 13-16 mo old and was blessed with lots of extra time with her and really enjoyed the extra bonding, of course. Going to work doesn't mean you don't love your child. It also doesn't mean you stop breastfeeding. My child just self-weaned at 17 mo.
Thank you. I think we need a lot less immediate judgment and a lot more openness for flexible solutions, like yours. Situations are different, mothers are different. Children thrive when they are feel loved and safe, and that's what we all have to try to accomplish. What we don't need are working and stay-at-home mums pitching their solutions against each other like it's some sort of competition.
I breastfed my son for first 4 months until my supply dwindled. Ive been a stay at home mom for like 90% of his first 2 years despite working very part time in the summer. Its been one of the best decisions...to stay home with him as much as possible in the early years. Especially since i went through much abuse before and during my pregnancy. At 3.5 months hid dad got arrested for assaulting me so i pulled every string possible to be able to stay at home with him as a single mom. Its tough but i know im doing the right thing. Its so worth it!
Or..... we let mothers decide what is best for their baby. Breast feeding and formula feeding both lead to healthy, happy babies. And no mother should be shamed for whatever they choose.
Some mothers cannot breast feed and some mothers cannot formula feed. As long as your child is fed and loved that is all that matters.
I couldn't breast feed. I didn't have enough to keep up with my babies demands!!
Meadowlark music exactly! My mum
Couldn’t breastfeed me due to me being 7weeks Premature. I had no sucking reflexes so I was fed by tube. By the time I learnt to suck all her milk had gone.
I breastfed for 3.5 months. I couldn't keep up with my son's demands, got my period back and my supply stopped and he was starting to become lethargic.We had no choice but to switch to formula. It was an emotional time for me because I had planned to nurse for a year but my baby was better off getting more to eat.
"Men don't have breasts, and this turns out to be a problem" hahahaha
My mom tried her damn hardest to breastfeed all three of us! She gave up after 2 weeks of trying her hardest and no milk would come out! We didn't starve to death on infant formula.
If no milk came out within that 2 weeks, you would've cried the house down and possibly gotten very sick with the risk of dying. So she probably didn't try that hard (ie: she supplemented with formula at the same time in that 2 weeks, which would explain why she couldn't produce milk, because supplementing causes you to not produce enough.)
You don't try your hardest for 2 weeks to exclusively breastfeed and don't end up breastfeeding your child unless you have a rare pathological problem.
my mother just recently told me that she didn't breast feed me right from birth despite all the doctors imploring her to do so. i'm the youngest of 3 children. she breast fed my oldest sibling, tried so with the middle sibling but her milk was starting to get sparse already and so she thought she wouldn't even try it with me anymore. she obviously dindn't put any more thought into it.
of course you can't turn back time but i'm a bit resentful about that and that she only told me now that i'm 25.
i was the child that had the most problems with her and i was the one who developed a depressive personality disorder early on (around 10). i have serious problems with love; it seems like i'm unable to accept being loved. so mothers, please do breast feed your infants. or at least replicate it as closely as possible if you don't have the necessary milk.
i'm in exactly the same boat my friend. I wonder if it's for the same reason. It makes sense if you consider it being a very critical stage in an infant's development as it is first contact with another human when most vulnerable. I wasn't breast fed because i was born premature and was kept in the hospital for a couple months and once I was released by mom's milk had basically dried up.
To you 2 precious kids, (my children are in your age group), please don't go crazy turning this over and over in your heads. I'm a NICU nurse, as well as a mom of 3. I've seen many circumstances that have made breast feeding not an option. What does matter is that the baby is lovingly held very closely and getting eye to eye contact. I've seen too many people actually not even hold that baby while bottle feeding. If it's done like that, it is very unnatural for both the child and parent. When I bottle fed instead of breastfeeding at times, I made it so close and snuggly and it was "our time." That's what matters. I've seen just as many breastfed as bottle fed babies have some real problems as they matured. That part of your life is over. Let it go and concentrate on what you may need to change about you to improve your lives now. There is a beautiful God given spirit inside you waiting to emerge. Blessings to both of you!
K F
Lovely comment :)
(All too rare these days)
K F reads more into my comment than there is and Cheryl Lynne appearently really wanted to have a chance to demonstrate her education.
K F, you're also talking in a very condescending manner. I'm not your child.
Abyssic 1- I am sorry. I never meant to sound condescending. Just wanted you to know that I know lots of people who were breastfed that have serious problems in life. As kids mature, it seems to have made no difference one way or the other. I think the overall atmosphere of the home probably matters more. Also, each person is different.and handles things differently. It's just that you can go crazy rehashing what happened in the past. I am as guilty as anyone. I wasn't even referring to you most of the time. Again, I never meant it that way.
I breast fed all my children, at one point I breast fed my daughter for over 2 years, so much better for mum and baby
It’s also worth considering that not everyone can breastfeed (some have low milk supply or have been sexually abused) there are also single dads out there who cannot breastfeed (obviously) not one size fits all. As long as the baby is fed, that’s all that matters. We must not demonise people who can’t breastfeed either.
No one is demonizing them, it isn't an attack to say breastfeeding is better than formula, it's the truth. But for women who can breastfeed it should definitely be encouraged. There are a lot of formula moms who just don't want to breastfeed for whatever reason, you do you it's up to you the nutrition of your child. But saying breastfeeding is better for the baby isn't bad.
I lived in East Germany as a young single mother. The government was constantly broke and they had forcefully tried for a few years to provide free daycare to lure the women back to work.
How ever after the first results were in they clearly stated that infants taken from their mothers are socially ignorant, a lot less intelligent and very cold and calculating towards others. They are also widely incapable to form lasting connections with others.
So 1971(!) the government decided that it was cheaper and a much better investment to just pay single mothers for three years 75% from their last income.
I received 1974 exactly that for my last child and loved it. It was not welfare but I received my paycheck from my company as always.
Every civilized country in the world has more than 1 year of paid maternity leave plus in most cases the job of the woman is held for her to come back to and can only be filled temporary.
I can't believe that in America we are still debating this issue today. To this day there has never contradictory evidence surfaced that this is the way it needs to be done.
I also can't believe that feminists in this country are as stupid to hold giant rallies for Trumps tax returns and totally ignore that they are the women in the only modern country where they don't have a year maternity leave and other blessings. Go figure.
Not every country has a year.... Maybe Germany.
I'm from Ireland its 6 months. I live in the Netherlands and its 16 weeks in total. My baby was 10 weeks old when I was expected to go back to work. I didn't. I just left.
But no... Not every civilised country has a year.
@@jenster29 in poor Eastern European countries women can leave for at least 1 year with 60% of their income or 2 years with less percentage or even more time, depending. I live in Bavarian part of Federal Republic of Germany, I opted for 3 years of maternity leave, and i am a 1st generation immigrant. the health of my family is my priority. I can even have some time to get trainings before the end of the parental leave to improve my skills. people, there are options but you have to stop making excuses.
@@julijakeit if the options aren't provided by the government then the woman has no choice. Bills have to paid. Kids have to eat. Just because a country is rich doesn't mean the people living in it are. The dutch government only gives 16 weeks. After that you have no income. I am also an immigration but what does that matter? You opted for 3 years because it was an option. How could you choose it if it wasn't?
America isn't a developed country, it's just a rich country. Big difference there.
@@julijakeit I live in America and don't have kids (nor planning on having them here because this country has shit social support) and I am genuinely jealous of Europeans who feel like they can have a personal life with family. Here most people are slaves to the corporate world or their increasingly less paying jobs. To have a genuine family life here is a luxury only for the very rich, it seems.
I'm a stay at home mom. I got a lot of hates from my husband's parents and relatives(Koreans). They keep telling me that I should send my infant to day care for 14 hours. They think I should not take good care of my children bcz they wont be successful in the future.My father in law told me if the mom takes too much care of her children they will be losers. But my husband and I never doubt about me staying at home and taking care of our daughter and son. Even we r kinda poor now but we r happier ever.
If Americans value 'family' so much, then why on Earth don't they have paid maternity leave? I read about American women going back to work when their baby is 6 weeks old and it breaks my heart.
Exactly. I live in Denmark, and we have a full year of paid maternity leave.
Breast feeding was a wonderful part of my early motherhood experience.
I love breastfeeding my baby. She’s only 4 months and I can’t imagine paying someone else to take care of her most of the time. I have two part time jobs - overnight during the week and one day on the weekend. I’m fortunate enough to have my parents watch her the day I work. I don’t feel like I’m missing out. It’s hard but so so worth it. Once my baby is in school it’ll open a lot more opportunity for me but until then I fully plan on being her sole caregiver
The correlation between breast feeding and intelligence does not mean causation. I can think of some hypothetical intervening variables. Like income -- maybe more wealthy households are headed by persons of marginally higher intelligence, and the mothers in those households may have more opportunity to stay home and breast feed (so, genetics). But not necessarily. Maybe low income, low intelligence moms stay home and breastfeed longer. But those moms may have an inferior diet, and so may their children (so environment/nurture). Probably needs more study.
Roothog Ordie seeing as how breastfeeding boosts the immune system, it wouldn’t be surprising that breastfeeding gives the baby critical nutrition they need for their brain to develop. Also all the other issues Peterson mentioned: the close relationship of the baby to mom, the skin-to-skin contact etc, that is good for the baby’s psyche.
I had never heard of this correlation until Peterson mentioned it. Is it JUST a correlation, or have we done studies proving a direct link between the two? Have those variables you brought up been accounted for?
I suspect it's impossible to prove a direct link because we can't test newborn infant IQs.
There is evidence of causation for very few of the desirable effects correlated with breastfeeding. Intention to breastfeed is correlated with greater affluence/education, which is more likely to explain any other correlations.
Thanks for sharing such mind clearing ideas.
I couldn’t leave my son after birth... I didn’t trust anyone #Hes5now #AllisOK
This guy needs his own show.
I breast feed my child for 2 years while working full-time. Breast, pumping, and formula for when I didn't have enough. It was tough but worth it.
say it again for the people in the back!!!!
“there’s more differences in the groups than there are between them!!!!!!!!!”
amazing. always love you jp and Rubin!
Hallelujah!! I love hearing this ...
As a man, I find the whole demonization of stay-at-home mothers incredibly distressing. And to read some of the comments of women with husbands who pushed them into returning to work despite them not wanting to is upsetting, to say the least. If/when I get married and have children, I want it to be with a woman who wants to be a MOTHER. I want her to WANT to breastfeed our child. I want her to WANT to spend as much time as possible raising our child.
I don't want someone who is half-hearted about it, trying to wriggle out ways to balance being a mom with other activities in her life, as if they all have equal importance, as if being a mom is a check-in-the-box between a career and traveling to Europe. Being a parent is more important than any job or amount of money or fleeting comfort -- if you aren't ready for that kind of commitment, don't reproduce. To hear about men who actually want their wives to be lesser moms than they could be is frustrating; as if women don't have enough people pressuring them to be wage-slaves and indistinguishable from men.
It seems like every day we are learning of more ways that modern alternatives and compromises are inferior to traditional and natural practices. I understand that the ideal isn't achievable by everyone, though I would say those people should maybe reconsider having children until it is feasible to raise them the best way possible -- the world needs less children of broken homes, not more.
But if you choose not to breastfeed your child without a good reason, you are a bad mother, no matter what some magazine article written by a sassy feminist says. And if you are a man urging your wife to work for MONEY instead of be a MOTHER to your child when it isn't necessary, you are a bad father. Because a good parent should never compromise for anything less than the absolute best possible for their child, or else they aren't a good parent.
Real talk.
I wouldnt go as far as saying someone is a BAD mother for choosing not to breastfeed. There is ALOT that goes into breastfeeding... I did not breastfeed my first because I was 19 and immature and not well informed on it and not as motivated, on the contrary, I also suffered postPartum hemorrhaging after labor, underwent emergency surgery and had a blood transfusion so I was heavily medicated for a while. My daughter is 6, healthy smart and beautiful. My other daughter whom is 6 months old I breastfed, I then stopped at 4 months because anything and everything I did wrong I would lose a supply of milk and didnt sleep at all. Couldnt eat anything without her being bothered by whatever it was...but by my own will and pressure of judgment around me I continued for as long as I can produce the milk. I dont want to call myself a bad mother for stopping, it comes very easy for some yet very difficult for others. Production and supply was main problem stress, extreme weight loss and lack of sleep definitely killed my supply. Anywho...some parents who only care about $$$ and working rather than caring for their baby is sad. I know they suffer losing their position at work but....its not worth it. I rather be with my kid then 5 different teachers or caregivers, I give you that. it's hard these days people make you feel inadequate for not working.... I was told a few days ago by an acquaintance that she only purchased breastmilk from highly educated mothers....yet failed to do any sort of medical checks on them simply because they were more trustworthy and acquired more integrity from their "high degrees or high professions"....and this was coming from a newly graduated nurse practitioner. YIKES! stay away from nurse practitioners 🙄🙄🙄
Well said.!!!!
So your hypothetical wife isn't allowed a social life and her life MUST revolve around the children (but yours doesn't of course).
Believe it or not, even if you are a stay at home mother, you still NEED a social life, so yeah that is important. If you prevent her from having one just because you want her to watch over the children (ps. they're your children too remember), you're a bad husband!
No stay at home moms need to have a life outside of just the child. Some sort of hobby or social life. I’ve seen countless stay at home moms become depressed because they just are with the kids 24/7.
Thank you for anthropologically and biologically understanding women so well, Jordan. You’re saying what no one will, and you’re showing no fear. It gives me strength as a new mother.
Jo Spengler there are a lot of gay couples who are much more stable both financially and emotionally than cis heterosexual couples. Who are poor and dysfunctional. Do right by the kids. Not by your church.
These outros tho - Jordan in the house, new favourite anime
3:20 "...And very masculine women who happens to be female..."
Something seems wrong with that...
he misspoke
Courtshannon if mother nature is so right why does it fuck up some genes and give people horrible lives
Evolution
Tom Franklin
Lots of medical conditions cause beer bellies and facial hair in women.. hahhaa
He's gay himself.
I wouldn’t have missed the first years of my child’s life for anything. Dr. William Sears also has wonderful information about breastfeeding and bonding
I waited 2 years to go back to work. Money was tight but it was worth it
When my son was born my husband and I both worked 2 1/2 days so there was always a parent with our children. Before the children were born we worked full-time. My son's are now 19 and 22 and they say they would not of had it differently.
My favorite two guys. love you Jordan, love you too Dave. Long happy lives for the both of you.
my kid couldn't be breast fed, i took that responsibility seriously to bottle feed. i would meet her eyes, and talk to her and feed her. it was a hugely rewarding experience, and i wouldn't trade it for anything, to bond with my kid to that degree. so i don't think breast feeding is half as important as the attention you give your child early on
Please make sure that you switch arms holding her to mimic breastfeeding. They said that it is important that a child can look around and have different views to look at than just looking at one spot while feeding
It should NEVER be a man's decision to send the mother back to work. What do they know.
100%! No person whom considers himself to be a "man" should ever act this way. Otherwise, he is no man.
It should be a decision made together. It's not like he should have no say.
@@stephenbrown9949 I don't blame you that you say that. I am a very independent woman and was sure that I would want to go back to work. But when the baby was there I wasn't even able to explain what I felt. Just thinking about handing over my baby to someone sent me into panic. It's nothing you can explain or negotiate. It is what it is.
You don't know any of it until the baby is there. I felt that anyone who was separating me from the baby was my enemy. I am a very intelligent and highly educated lady and it took me totally by surprise.
If you as a man are in that position you may turn yourself into the worst enemy a mother could have. Remember that.
@@liesascott5414 the financial burden of one person working might be too stressful though.
So you know absolutely nothing about the male experience and shouldn’t study it or have a professional opinion on it?
Is there any topic he hasn't spoken on?
End track (thanks to henrymcguy below): Sister Whale (Shanghai) - Flare. If you search UA-cam for "Various Artists - Sinogaze Vol. 1 (Chinese Shoegaze Compilation)" its track 17 at 1:15:59. The whole thing is actually a good listen. Dr JBP just keeps on giving!
I was manually scrolling comments to find a response like this! Thanks for the effort posting it man
Can't find it anywhere
@@SuperVOVANCHO Very welcome.
I just had my son 2 months ago and plan on staying home with him. It feels like my life has missed something that i never knew i was missing. I've never loved anyone more. Unfortunately i cannot produce enough milk for my son so i supplement with formula, but i give him every drop i have before i make a bottle, and when he is sad and tired breast feeding soothes him to sleep so i will continue even though i cannot be exclusive. I cried a lot, i felt so inadequate not being able to breastfeed completely, but not i have come to terms and am at peace with giving him what i can.
Your doing a good job, don't feel inadequate. Trust me, there are plenty of inadequate parents out there. Feeding with formula and breast milk together is fine, you are taking care of the child and in the end that is all that matters.
I got an ad for baby formula right before this started. 😐
Baby formula add are not allowed
Good. Formula is a life-saving product for both struggling babies and struggling parents.
You can advocate for breastfeeding without shitting on the alternative. It’s not that difficult to abstain from being an asshole.
I was the primary attachment as the first person to coddle and feed my infant daughter after she and her mother almost died due to a botched c-section at Queen's university Kingston while I was working in the same institution as an ICU RN...she looked directly into my eyes while I tried and held and and fed her...the nurses offered to place her back in her mother's arms as I was sitting at the foot of her bed during all of drama and she refused to take the child...it was as if she resented me and the baby...this resentment continued to the point when mother was home and I was designated to purchasing canned breast milk and ultimately told that I was no longer required and literally thrown out of the house as police were called because she felt I had somehow threatened her...
I am a full time SAHM mom but I have a few part time jobs I just started working around my hubs' schedule. Our 2 month old only wants me in the evening! So I literally do it all some nights on zoom, video off and baby in arms while typing! She is breast fed. My hubby tries but she needs mama and thank goodness for working from home.
Nursing my 14 month old to sleep while watching this 😊😊
My toddler is going on 2 years breastfeeding :) never a bottle
Congrats, your medal is in the mail.
@@marielisec.a.3072 haven’t received it yet
Thanks dear for encouragement words God bless you
My hospital pushed pectocin and it shattered my heart to have her leave my body too soon. I'm not letting her go until she's ready for it. I learned my lesson on listening to society instead of trusting my instincts.
The hospital pushed pectocin because they don't want your baby going into cardiac distress or to leave you and it with a bacterial infection. A uteral infection is dangerous and hurts life a MF!
As a first time mom, I had no idea how hard the breastfeeding is... I thought it would come naturally but I couldn't produce, almost starved my child for not being able to feed. I had multiple lactation consultants appts from Day 1 while I was healing from third degree tear, it took me about a month to catch up with the amount my infant would drink a day, until then we had to supplement formula. I cried so much with a newborn, it was a nightmare.
Don't be afraid, this will all heal if such things happen - baby and mother do help each other to overcome all difficulties in the beginning. If others have this kind of unfavourable start: just hold baby in your arms as much as possible, take in the adorable smell of its little soft hair, appreciate its seeking comfort with you. Carry the baby around in a way that is comfortable for you, too. And it is never too late to find ways to repair if something feels wrong.
If one of your nearest and dearest are depressed, try to hold them close, and feed them as much as possible, eliminate scary stimuli, and only slowly and adquately let them go again with lots of encouragement. This is possible over phone, too.
This has always helped. It is never too late...
www.amazon.com/gp/product/1871697727/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i5
Breastfeeding was much harder than I thought it would be. But I kept trying and now I regularly breastfeed and occasionally supplement with formula
I also cried the first week
@@celesteaurigue5546 Yes, often there are many obstacles and much pain, most mothers can't help crying. I am happy for you that you could handle the ordeal and did all this for your little one. Enjoy all the love you got to the fullest, you will be rewarded! Hope your baby's daddy supports you with all his might!
It doesn’t come naturally. It is socially learned. There have to be other woman to show it to new moms.
Breast feeding is all well and good, but as a mother who’s body didn’t produce enough milk, the reality is that ‘fed is best’.
Usually if a mother's body doesn't produce enough milk, it's because baby isn't put to breast often enough.
@@thefemininewomanrenee ‘usually’. Not if you’ve had HELLP Syndrome and your baby is 2 months early though. There is always an exception.
this is also we have moms and family. i had my mom and my own nanny that i loved caring for my child together with me.
i went to work for 5 / 6 hours as in during the day. I didn't care about going out for dinners or meetings after work hours.
if i am shopping I took my kid with me.
So he ate lunch and couple of snacks without me during the day and it was ok.
quality time was more important to me than all the time with my baby.
I knew he was having fun while I was working.
Gotta say, the only reason it was hard for me to return to work after 7 weeks of maternity leave was the guilt. Beyond that, I was ready to go back to work. Stay at home mom life is not for me, and the first 6 months of a baby's life is simply not enjoyable for me. My daughter is now 18 months old and it's harder to leave her now than it was at 7 weeks.
Wonderful Dr Petersen!
Seriously, please tell me the song at the end..
sounds kinda like diiv but ima try to shazaam
anyone? soundhound couldn't pick it up
Sister Whale (Shanghai) - Flare
If you still care after 7 months.
henrymcguy. Thanks
God bless you Sir! Ive been chasing this track for months!
Thats exactly my talk ! Thank you Jordan Peterson . And usualy people dont agrée with me.
I adopted and I couldn’t breast feed. My son is 16 months old, and I’m starting work again in a week. IT IS KILLING ME. He has been with me pretty much 24/7 for 16 months. I wish I wouldn’t of watched this because now I feel even worse for leaving him.