Divorce and Children’s Mental Health

Divorce is a difficult time…that’s especially true for children. “It's usually challenging for them to understand what will happen after. How our family will look like, where I'm going to spend Christmas, or those holidays, all those questions,” said pediatric psychologist Frances Vidot-Hidalgo.
It’s important to speak with your kids about what’s going on at age-appropriate levels. “One of the hardest pieces when kids don't understand the real reasons about it, and there's like secrecy about it, or the adults have a negative relationship between them, that can even make it even harder or more stressful for kids,” said Vidot-Hidalgo.
Parents should try to minimize conflict and avoid speaking negatively about each other. They should also encourage kids to talk about their feelings. “That helps them process, because it's natural for them to feel sad or feel so confused or asking them how they're feeling and helping them find ways to process,” said Vidot-Hidalgo.
Parents shouldn’t just stay together for the kid’s well-being. “If they are in a relationship where the parents are not tolerating each other, are not talking to each other, kids still feel that. And really that they might feel, they might have strong feelings about what family looks like, why my family don't love each other or comparing themselves.” A mental health professional can help kids cope. You can learn more by searching for pediatric behavioral health on leehealth.org.
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