4 Tricks for when doctors gaslight you - Dr. Kaveh LIVE
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- Опубліковано 18 лип 2023
- #narcissist #gaslighting #mentalhealthmatters
Medical gaslighting is real and can affect your physical health. Here's what you need to know to prevent it.
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5:54 - No. 1: Bringing support
7:35 - No. 2: Show your serious & bring pen/paper
8:40 - No. 3: Objectify symptoms in home diary
9:53 - No. 4: level the playing field & wear your clothes
Thank you to Catseye for the time stamps! :)
Gaslighting manipulation is a pressing issue in the healthcare world that we aim to bring to light. In relationships where power dynamics are significantly skewed, such as those between doctors and patients, gaslighting can take hold. This form of manipulation can cause patients to question their own experiences and symptoms, leading to a damaging cycle that can significantly affect their mental and physical health.
Our primary focus in this video is not to perpetuate a culture of victimhood but to empower patients to advocate for themselves. We're providing a comprehensive understanding of medical gaslighting, demonstrating how it can harm patients, and most importantly, fostering a mindset of empowerment.
Medical gaslighting can be a formidable challenge for patients to navigate. Psychological distress caused by gaslighting can manifest as physical symptoms due to the mind-body connection, making this an issue that can't be ignored. As patients, it's crucial to understand what gaslighting looks like and how it can impact the healthcare experience.
We also explore the broader implications of medical gaslighting. The undermining of patient experiences can erode the trust between patients and healthcare providers, and by extension, affect the overall quality of healthcare.
In the course of this video, we'll take a thorough look at this phenomenon, discussing its many facets without oversimplifying it to a set of strategies. We believe that fostering an informed patient community is one of the best ways to combat medical gaslighting. With knowledge and understanding, patients can better advocate for their health and contribute to a healthcare environment that values and respects individual experiences.
In essence, this video is a step toward creating a more compassionate and understanding healthcare space. Together, we can raise awareness about medical gaslighting, empowering patients to take control of their healing journey.
References:
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/arti...
www.webmd.com/mental-health/s...
This video/speech/channel DOES NOT CONSTITUTE MEDICAL ADVICE. Patients with medical concerns should contact their physician. If your concern is an emergency, immediately call 911. This information is not a recommendation for ANY THERAPY. Some substances referenced in this content may be illegal, and this content is not a recommendation for, or endorsement of, their use in any way.
Doctors nearly let my infant daughter die, telling me she had a cold. She was seven months old and couldn't sit up or crawl. She always had a fever. She always had a runny nose, now she was having trouble breathing .I kept bringing her back. They kept telling me I was just a young, hysterical mother. Finally a very young doctor heard me. He x-rayed her lungs. One had collapsed, the other was filling with fluid. They took her across the street by ambulance. She was under quarantine for several days. She had RSV. My baby would have died because doctors believed I was just a hysteric. Now she is a bright young woman who is planning her wedding. I thank heavens every day for Dr. C. Pierce Hunter, that young doctor who listened to me.
Great story of resilience and fighting for your child and thank God for Dr. C. Pierce Hunter caring enough to heal her!!😇😀👏👏
I'm so sorry this happened to you. I was treated the same way when my daughter had an illness. I think a lot of doctors treat women like they are hysterical even when signs and symptoms of a disease is slapping them in the face. Some
are so arrogant they no longer can see what is right in front of them.
Similar thing happened to me. They told me iwas hysterical mum. I mustered up the power to stand my ground and refused to leave hospital until paediatric Specialist saw my child. He had pneumonia.
You are awesome for being you...Thank you so much just for the sheer care that you are relaying here! You Rock!!!🙏💞
Same happened to me. My son ended up in the hospital, hysterical mom My Hinny. This has happened to many I know and love.
I am a retired physician and I regularly go with 3 elderly people to their appointments as well as friends who request me to do so. It's amazing how much better the physicians behave.
Wow, that's an awesome extremely helpful thing you are doing for people. Thank you! We need more like you to step up and do this for people.
Would you consider helping for pay? I would pay you to talk on my behalf to a medical facility requesting additional tests following up my visits.
I’m literally at the end of the line with doctors. I’ve spent 3 years worth of HSA savings in 1 year just to hear “we can’t even read the ultrasound we ordered, have no clue, don’t know, go elsewhere”.
Last doctor I went to did not even provide a bill I can submit to insurance to count towards deductible and the doc is out of network so insurance has to wait for them to provide the codes.
As a patient, I don’t even have a right to a detailed bill, and have been denied care.
That is wonderful that you do this!! Oh, I can imagine those Drs. are going to be on their best behavior!!
@@tanyaforostyan7069 You might want to look into the laws covering what a "bill" is in your jurisdiction, in order to be considered a collectable bill. Generally, it must include what was provided or performed, where, and when.
You DO have a right to a detailed bill. If you have trouble, look into the consumer protection office (whatever it's called) in your state or other jurisdiction. In US states, speaking to the state Attorney General's office is helpful. It might be worthwhile to call a newspaper or TV station in your area, ask to speak to an investigative reporter, and talk about it.
I've had just this problem. Good luck.
Yea taking someone with you really helps!
SPOT ON!!!
January 1, 1989, I was paralyzed in a car accident on the way to go skiing. No liquor or drugs, just black ice. I was 21 y/o.
About June of that year, I was having urological problems and found a doctor about 70 miles from where I lived. I got to the appointment, and when the nurse called my name, she grabbed my wheelchair and shoved me into an exam room.
About ten minutes later, the doctor barged in and asked why I wasn't ready. He threw a gown at me and told me to put it on and be on the table in TEN MINUTES!
First of all, I had no way to take my pants off, so the gown was absolutely useless. Then I looked at the exam table. It was about 18 inches, HIGHER THAN MY WHEELCHAIR!
I just sat there until he came back, and when he did, he was angry that I wasn't ready and was wasting his time. By that time, I'D HAD IT!!!
I rolled over his foot accidentally on purpose, pushed him out of my way, and left.
Now that I have been in a wheelchair for over 35 years, I can weed out doctors, nurses, and medical staff very fast.
Just because they're in white coats and have fancy titles, I REFUSE to let them intimidate me!
There's always other doctors.
Good for you.
Me too as well! I was being mistreated in the ER by staff. Never once saw a doctor. I was one seizure away from death! Plus i was tied to the bed by IV and blood pressure cuff both of which were crisscrossed over me. I had no way to get to the restroom and was trapped in a dark room with the door closed. Staff was no where in sight. Bladder about to burst. I had to take the bed table and slam it into the door untill someone finally came to see what was going on. I yelled at everyone in sight! Oh and another thing, I am truly sick and tired of all medical care employees who are exhibiting this stupid "Hero Complex" I have a son who is in the military since 2002. He started that crap with me as if I were to kowtow to him because he was a soldier. I flat out told him that he knew what he was getting into when he signed up! That he knew the risks. I am a brave woman but if am going to do something that I know the risks are high I always rely on God to use me. I have never feared nor took any credit for the the times the good Lord put me in the right place at the right time. Service to others is service to God. Deo Gracious!
@mageeherman784
I took my sister to the ER on Tuesday because she was exhibiting the signs of a stroke. You see all the ads and commercials telling you how to recognize stroke symptoms. She was checked out, and they said it was not a stroke. The following day went to a different ER, and they found a small brain bleed, which is a stroke. She's in ICU now. If you decide on a career to save lives. You need to be serious about it.
@@Contrarymary-pc9hm I hope you sue them if you can, she could have died!
Good for you, excellent!
As a retired surgeon, I AGREE here. As soon as I hit 60? EVERY doc brushed me off; a torn supraspinatous tendon IGNORED as "well these things happen as we age.." I was SURFING, doc. Never informed of the tear; I saw the scan reports! Then I had severe fatigue-I recalled similar when I had ovarian CANCER in '96. I had to fight then too as a young doc because no one BELIEVED anything was wrong because "Of course you're tired; you're working 100 hours/wk."I found it MYSELF! (and lived!) 27 years later? I fought the V.A. for 2 YEARs for hip pain and this same fatigue; was "getting older", and "old war shrapnel wounds in that hip." Finally I DEMANDED a PET scan due to my history--nope. Paid 5k myself, I HAD LYMPHOMA IN MY FEMUR. Post Radiation...waiting to see if we got it. "I go to the press, or the VA pays." They paid. STAND UP ELDERS! I'm 70 and NEVER say I'm a doc until they start the yeah yeah sure sure old lady CRAP. Don't EVER stand for it. Bring a medical person WITH you as an advocate! My brother had 'bronchitis' and severe back pain w/o injury over and over; Rx antibiotics, no chest x rays. I told him (6k miles away), "Tell them you are coughing up blood" so he finally got a CT scan. He had Stage 4 lung cancer (too late) chemo/radiation never helped and now he only has 3 months to live. STAND UP!
😢
I'm a female vet getting care at the VA. EVERY SINGLE thing is a fight. I never knew the fight the medical corps was training us for was to upgrade our own system. It's truly shocking.... I heard 80% of care vets get are from residents and med students. We are fodder.
So sorry! Thank you for sharing.
@@zapbutton8553😢
Thank you for sharing
I have the perfect example of doctor's gaslighting seniors. My Mom was in the ER after suffering from a stroke. My Dad and I were there with her. The doctor was talking to my Dad and explaining what happened to Mom as if he was a child. Little did he know, that my Dad was a retired physician. He said to the doctor, you know, I once helped to establish this hospital. Go and have a look at the wall in the atrium and you will see my photo there. The doctor thought because Dad is elderly and has a hearing problem that he was stupid. Big mistake.
Your dad is a rock star! I hope your mom has a smooth recovery. ❤️
WOW!
Some doctors are so arrogant and so willing to dismiss you when you are older.
You should be so proud of your dad.
QUESTION: I am nervous with an upcoming ACDF as I have been gaslight by multiple Dr's over the years before being diagnosed with fibromyalgia. Also endured decades of being married to a narc and gaslit horribly. Though I know better now I still feel overwhelmed by my health and don't want to jeopardize my healing with triggers I still get on occasion. Any tips on what I can do to dismiss the uncertainty I have for successful healing? Thanks!
Can remember walking out of a GPs -doctor once after he said he thought M.E wasn't a real illness just psychological and I felt so low that I wanted to end it all....I mean if I wasn't depressed before or having psychological problems I certainly would be after having to deal with a doctor like that right...
I would like to say things have improved but sadly they have not
Having had severe M.E. chronic fatigue syndrome for over 15 years. I have had my fair share of hitting my head against a brick wall....ie the GP-Doctor who believes everything is psychological and all my symptoms a result of that.
I have kept a symptoms diary now for the last 3 years as my health has deteriated. I did so to have as ammunition when facing the gaslighting and doctors who try to play down your illness and how it effects you etc. I
I complained to my doctor for five years that my stomach hurt and the 60 lb weight gain, lethargy was not normal. The doctor told me I was depressed, I finally changed doctors and within a week had a diagnosis of 4th stage squamous melanoma. I had a huge mass in my bladder. They said I had 2-5 years but I will be 10 years cancer free this April 2024.
Thanks for your advice and support.
Wow! God bless you 😎💪🙏
I'm so sorry. Yahuah bless you
It happened to me on the 29th of Fed when I attended a review and my concerns were abruptly dismissed and when I tried to express my frustration I was accused of being intimidating. Horrible experience and I still feel shaken by the experience
You mean you had squamous cell carcinoma or melanoma? I know I had SSC....it does mastisize. How did you find it? Ultra sound or mri? God bless
Thank God for getting you to the right doctor!!!
I am a retired MSN, RN. It’s so refreshing to hear a doctor speak out and teach patients how to advocate for themselves. Bravo 🙌🏻 doc!
Another retired RN MSN in support of this timely content
WHY SHOULD PEOPLE HAVE TO? I LAST SAW A DOCTOR IN 1965❤❤
“The doctor will see you now.” Sometimes translates to “The doctor will judge you now.”
I went to over 60 doctors in 10 years, every one either prescribed oxy then scolded me for refusing to take it or called me a drug seeker even when my first words were dont give me drugs fix me. When I was finally diagnosed by a specialist at USC, i mailed a copy of the diagnosus to every doctor that said there was nothing wrong with me and included a note saying "If you had tried to help me maybe I wouldnt be in a wheelchair today. Do better for your patients or retire."
Had an ER doc write me out as missing my child birthing years and I ask why and he said when we can't find nothing wrong that's what we put down. I told him go back to college and get a real degree in women's wellness because he over looked my scar from having my tubes tied 10 years earlier. The pain was severe every month after the operation depending on which side or ovaries shed. Pain in my going to my knee every month. Still never got an answer.
I am sure that no one responded to your letter
I had a paitent we sent to another physician for a workers comp claim (our physician didn't do workers comp). We knew there was a lot of pain meds coming out of there, but we had no idea how bad it really was. The doctor walked in the room and said "what have you tried, what doesn't work , and what do you want". Guy said he just said there like "ummm.....I want to get better". Long story short that doctor is no longer practicing due to his own addiction and well loosing his prescribing rights among other things.
You rock, I'm glad you took the time and effort to put it in their face!
Good.
Thank you so much for this message! To this day, 15 years later I still clearly remember a past attempt to find a new PCP. This doctor seemed nice at first, even friendly. Until he saw I had been taking an antidepressant for 10 years. No other medicine. He asked why and I believe in telling your physician everything about your health and reasons for medications. I explained I had been diagnosed with a panic/anxiety disorder, major depressive disorder, CPTSD, and social anxiety. He asked if I was previously military. I said no. Then he got visibly irritated and his voice changed. He asked why I needed my Paxil then. I said because I was raped, physically and emotionally abused almost daily by my father from the age of 6-17. He told me I just needed to "get over it" and shouldn't be taking this medication and that only military can have PTSD. I was stunned.. I got up and walked out without saying another word. The visit was over at that point. This man should not be a doctor.
You did the right thing. As to him not being a dr., you don't know maybe he learned something from your visit. It sounds like you triggered him. Who knows what was going on in his personal life, etc. Does that excuse his actions? Absolutely not. Just be wary of making broad and overriding judgement of others; or, for you sake, letting your hurt be prodded (easier said than done). I had a what I considered a form of PTSD that lasted a few years (due to abuse). I no longer even remember specific details other than a couple of memories and they have no ill affects. Thankfully, unlike your situation, the abuse was not during my formative years. I am long and well past it with the exception of one thing; and, 40 years later, I think it is finally starting to come back. It wasn't a bad residual effect but not good either. I lost my ability to feel fear which can work to advantage or disadvantage. Other people & animals sense lack of fear which I believe has assisted me when I encountered potentially dangerous situations. On the other hand, having no fear it is easy to do or say something that can put you in danger, (Only happened where I spoke unwisely a couple of times for which I chastised myself.) The worst result, and I ave 0 control over this, is that I have no adrenaline assistance. The best I can do is use logic. I am sorry for your horrible experiences and wish you well.
He should have been slapped and knocked out in my opinion. He got away that day but he ran across the right one the office would have needed to be rebuilt
"hold fast"! (1Thess.5 :21)
I agreed, no bedside manner & no human skills.
Absolutely not! PTSD is not limited to military! The guy is a nut!
I'm a retired cardiothoracic surgeon, and I can attest that Dr. Kaveh is 100% correct in his assessment of the medical profession and Physicians. There are plenty of Physicians that gaslight, and part of the cause is related to not being educated enough in evaluating and diagnosing the entirety of a person's symptoms and environment. Since they are unable to put the pieces of the puzzle together, they don't bother to perform the needed tests for proper diagnosis and treatment. Other concerning gaselighters are attorneys, politicians and corporate heads. I have been personally gaslighted by Physicians when I have sought medical care, and didn't tell them I was a surgeon. Physicians misdiagnose and overlook key factors in a multitude of patients everyday, all throughout the globe. Doctor's can get caught up in diagnosiing strictly by reading data, rather than putting on their critical thinking caps and considering all the factors surrounding a patients circumstances.
I worked several years on a cardiac unit. We had a young, arrogant cardiologist whose pt. was having MI..chest pain unrelieved, diaphoretic, Bp down, distinct changes on monitor. I called him to inform him & asked if we could move her to ICU & told him that she was about to code. He said I'll be there in a few minutes. He came shuffling in about 30 minutes later, stuck his head in the chart. I said, don't look at the chart, get in here now and look at your pt. I again told him she was about to code. He said, that's why we have ICU.🙄. We moved her to ICU & just as her ass hit the ICU bed, she coded. I went back to my unit. A few minutes later, the ICU nurse called me because they couldn't get three lines in for TPA & the nurse told the Dr that I could. So he wanted me to come put them in. Of course, I did but I so wanted to say, "that's why you have ICU". He was a bit nicer after this incident. I know when my pt. is in trouble & he almost let her die being a pompous ass.
YES! This! Healthcare worker for 40 years here.
Just curious, what's "code" and "TPA"? @@LynnLamont
@@mikeexitsa code is an emergency like a cardiac and/or respiratory arrest. TPA is the "clot buster" med. When they give it, it can cause bleeding if you stick them for IVs or labs or from other places. They like to have three lines already in place if they need them for medicines, blood administration or lab draws.
@@mikeexits TPA stands for Tissue Plasminogen Activator and does have its risks, one of which is hemorrhage.
Im a ER nurse for 25+ years. I've found that asking a MD a question and then letting them contradict their own gaslit comment really works well. They won't argue against themselves. They just agree and think it was all their idea and superior intellect. (I just giggle on the inside). How to manipulate the manipulator. It comes after years of experience dealing with arrogant physicians. 😂😂
How? Please script this out for me!
I have been dealing with a very unsympathetic gynecologist for nearly a year now. Many months ago an ovarian cyst was discovered by chance when I was suffering from kidney problems. She gave me birth control pills to shrink it (!!!) . When I got worried that it might be growing I went back to her twice (in 6 months). She got fed up . When I got an infection after a course of antibiotics she took my work for it and didn't check..... I got the wrong medication. When I went back she more or less blamed it on me.
The fact that I have P.T.S.D. (due to sexual abuse) certainly doesn't help here.
I've hopefully found a new doctor now!
Doctors and hospitals are notorious for this. Doctor, you deserve a humanitarian award for educating the public.
He will be canceled as soon as he is known for helping people. Health care has become nothing but ways for insurance and Dr's make money. People are nothing to most Dr's. As soon as a Dr finds treatments that help that aren't pharmaceutical made he's canceled. So many Dr's have been silenced for the crime of helping people. Cancer cures are a absolute NO NO in Healthcare and science. Cant make money off of a cured patient.
I Was in the medical profession.
You have my ❤.
I felt so close to my patients and knew prior to my education that I was meant for servanthood . It blessed me to be their advocate in the most critical and emergent health settings . I was recognized for these same characteristics and was well trained in proper documentation, by leaving personal opinions out of it and basing sound documentation on measurable , quotable descriptive , to the legal letter in time ,place and person .
It did not become apparent to me until later that others did not feel the same . I was never pulled in to court to testify. My charting spoke for itself. It also lit me up ! Set me up ! Gave others "their" reasons for joining in.
It took years. Too many , too late for me to realize what had taken place .
It crumbled me . Humbled me but , made a more supportive role model for those I had the honor to help, teach and encourage . They know that the very integrity of their profession as a patient advocate is protecting their patients from the prejudices of those who believe themselves to be an upper version of humanity by power , pain , finances, race , environment, narcissm or personal psychopathy that will never be realized in a " polite society " .
Your empathy , well rounded instruction for every person , every walk of life fits like a glove .
I am so glad I came up on your videoserendipity !
It's Actually my blessing !
You have placed a light on a subject that needed exposure for a very long time 🕯️.
Thank you for blessing us .
We Are listening with sound minds, hearts and spirits ❤
Yes and more awareness
Absolutely agree..
Very grateful for you sharing this information and validating how l felt at my doctor's office 😊
Agreed from many experiences with multiple places. Thought it was just one place, no.
5:52 Have someone with you
7:35 Have things written down
8:37 Diary at home
9:52 Ask person in the position of power to sit down at your level. Ask to put your clothes back on before speaking to person in power
I would love your help with all of my videos! 🙏
@@MedicalSecrets How can I contact you?
Yes! At least the last two seem to make the professional more as an equal & the patient much less vulnerable. Great ideas!
Why ask when you can tell? Just put your clothes on. You don't need permission to be
good look with doing this. you will be banned from the doctor.
My Dad had a procedure to dilate the opening to the stomach made narrow by a hernia. after the procedure, I called Home to see how he was doing. My mother said he was writhing on the floor in pain. being a nurse, I knew that was not normal. I left work raced home and took him to the ER. The ER physician treated me like a hysterical daughter, but we never saw him again after they found out his esophagus had ruptured. The x-ray showed free air, which means there was a tear in the esophagus. the next person we saw was wonderful Dr. Benoit, a wonderful and gifted surgeon now retired. He repaired the tear and the hiatal hernia. Thank you Dr Benoit ✨💖✨God bless you for having this channel where these experiences can be shared and help educate people. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Parents, please never leave the room if a Dr asks, my mom did, it didn't go well. I never told anyone.
That's great advice. I'm so sorry that happened to you. God bless.
I have been gaslit for years until I learnt to say ‘the patient living with the condition is the expert’ to doctors.
💪💪💪
That’s a good one, going to use that with my next appt trying to resolve abdominal pains!
Yes!!!!❤
💯
I really try to be respectful, and have told this to a few Dr's... that my brother's Dr said to him, "I'm a good Dr, but you're the best Dr of your own body."
Recently, my Cardiologist told me not to worry about something we were discussing, and I quickly replied that I'm not worried. I'm not going to let him or anyone else put words in my mouth! He knows I read on medical issues, and I take notes on questions for him. Right after my visit, I go over my list and usually make notes on his comments. Oh, he also made a comment about reading on Google, and I replied that I don't just look at Google, and told him of several Nationally recognized institutions that I reference. He had an Intern shadowing him that day, and no doubt was trying to make some kind of impression on him. I really like my Cardiologist, and I've made note of his comments. I'll figure out a humorous and diplomatic comment on that for my app in a couple of months.... something like... you know that Google is just a search engine to take me to what's important to read.... right? Lol! 🙃
In my experience, doctors respond in a hostile manner if questioned or their actions are spoken of.
After that, the doctor provides minimal, and even more dismissive, care.
My experience also. Doctors get angry when questioned. A patient can get kicked out of the appointment if they have a paper and pen to write things down. I have seen it happen
This happened to me. Little did they know I was planning on leaving anyways. I'm also into homeopathic things instead since I don't trust them, especially after what a friend of mine has dealt with involving them.
Goes back to the days when people thought doctors were God like. Seems some doctors / healthcare professionals still think people think that
So true! One is afraid to speak up! Most of the time they interrupt you!
@@Ruth695 Those types have the superior god complex attitude. I'm quite bitter to them and have left quite a few shocked with a jaw drop expression. I've removed myself from several of them that haven't kicked me out first despite I've been kicked out by some others. I also became much more homeopathic. This is what's best for everybody nowadays. If Drs keep messing up, it's going to cause extreme consequences on their practices down the road...
I once had an OB tell me that I was a hysterical woman while I was miscarrying. I never went back to him.
Now I find it sad that my doctor is looking at the computer screen and not me and never even touches me to examine me.
Thank you for your videos
(About 30 years ago.) My friend’s younger sister-we’ll call her E-was about 22 when she started feeling tired. Her pediatrician told her she was probably depressed. E said she did not feel depressed, but her doctor ignored her, wrote a script, and sent her home. Two weeks later, E went back, insisting something wasn’t right. The doctor berated her and told her not to be a such a hypochondriac. (My friend was not happy about that. I recall us talking about it at work at the time.) Well about a week later, E went back to her doctor with the same complaints, and this time her doctor was on vacation, so she saw the doctor who was covering. That doctor took her blood pressure and the waited for a bit and took it again. They rushed E to the hospital. She went into intensive care and died 2 weeks later. Apparently, E had a heart condition that made her heart beat erratically, and her pediatrician didn’t catch it. It was so sad. She was a beautiful girl.
Wow! That pediatrician on vacation is not fit for the job! I’m sorry for the passing of E. That kind of attitude could be deadly for anyone.
Many years ago my husband went to the doctor and was diagnosed as having bronchitis and given antibiotics. But he wasn’t getting better. He was getting worse. He went back to the doctor (twice) and was told that he hadn’t given the antibiotics long enough. The third time I went with him. I tried arguing with the doctor but she wasn’t interested so I stopped arguing and just sat there repeating “I am very worried about him”. After I repeated that a few times she could see that I wasn’t moving so she gave me an angry look and picked up her stethoscope. The result was “Oh you have pneumonia!”
So I think that I saved my husband’s life!
Wow you did save him
Ugh. There's too many stories like this. I've had a lot of bad experiences.
@@theflowerhead I am so sorry to hear that.
And she will still not change her behavior. Disgusting.
A very similar scenario happened with my niece. She had been on antibiotics for "bronchitis" for a week, but the swelling in her face and neck was getting way, way worse.
After getting blown off at a walk-in (They told her the same thing - "Give it time for the medicine to work"), she went to the ER a couple of days later and they found a softball sized lymphoma tumor in her chest.
A year later, she's cancer-free, but I am still very angry at the clinic for not investigating further. Her case was so bad, the hospital sent her right to Boston by medi-flight helicopter.
If the clinic had investigated it even just a little bit, and then immediately referred her to the ER, it may have prevented the need for such an urgent transport. It was scary. If my niece had "just waited for it to work" as was recommended, she may not still be here with us.
A month ago I met the first doctor who said, “You’re not crazy. I know what’s wrong with you. And we’re going to fix it.” and the tears came. Found out there was a medical reason why I was obese that had nothing to do with calories, exercise, willpower, or laziness. “You couldn’t have fixed this on your own.” 🤯 All the hurtful things I’ve heard over the years just rushed back to me.
What was it? My mom has the same issue
I'm so happy you found a kind, caring and competent doctor. I pray you're going to fully heal. You're worth it.
Glad you got help
Completely get that. My daughter lost a pregnancy and all the ObGyn could say was loose some weight. She saw another doctor in the practice who took her seriously and he ran many blood tests. Turns out she has a hormonal issue along with PCOS that cause her to gain weight.
@@LovinglfDesigns Search Dr. Eric Berg, Insulin Resistance and PCOS. Healthy Keto WILL reverse it! Dr. Berg has 10 MILLION SUBSCRIBERS for good reason!
The public allows the poisonous medical establishment to bully them because people are intimidated to have medical insurance and holistic Doctors are discredited even though more people are discovering our bodies are actually self healing with the right food, rest and exercise.
The more people who learn about holistic care, the more hurt in the wallet.
Had to click on this!!! Protecting everybody from narcissist's abuse is worthwhile
Having been in health care for my entire career my trick is to stand straight and not allow the physician to interrupt me even once, have awesome eye contact and to not back down. This levels the playing field.
It has also caused 2 doctors to tell me I look too healthy to be sick.
You can't win with some of these asshats😢
I’m a retired RN. I have a rare disease and is often hospitalized. It’s amazing the changes in care I receive when the nurses and doctors find out I worked as an RN.
I am also someone with a rare condition. Doctors would daylight and slander me.... until the Senate appointed me to the Rare Disease Advisory Council. Now they squirm
Facts 🎯🎯🎯
When The Dr’s, and Nurses Should be Giving The Best Quality Care that’s Needed. We as Patients need to Treat Right All The People that are taking care of us.
In what way ?
Laura, you sound like the nurse who helped me at the neurosurgeon.
My dad is a retired doc. He always said there were big differences between a healer and a clinician.
That's exactly why i only go to naturopathic doctors now. They listen and heal. They don't just slap a prescription in my hand to hide symptoms.
“Doctoring”, “To Doctor” are verbs.
Forgot to mention that some are sadists and perverts. They do cover each others butts so you may have not heard this.
My father was a physician in a classic text example of a narcissist I am sure many of the doctors are
WOW!
The pulmo in the US said to my face that he didnt know what was wrong with me because he had already given me antibiotics for “just a little bit of pnuemonia”. I was very very sick when he told me that. He said there was nothing wrong with my xray anymore. And he left it at that. I moved hospitals completely and it was impossible to get an appointment with a pulmo. I got so fed up and was already suicidal from being sick for about 4 months by then. I decided to fly back home to the Philippines (a total of 27 hours of traveling) to get some proper medical care. I checked myself into the hospital from the airport. It turned out to be pneumonia from MRSE bacteria and pulmonary embolism. I could have actually died. They gave the works, even redid my sleep study. I was in the hospital for 11 days. I have such a hard time trusting the healthcare system here in the US now. The care I received from the Philippines was far, far superior than what I have experienced here in the US.
I had a wonderful conversation, that I will never forget, with a NICU dr when my preterm infant was in the NICU. She said doctors are a dime a dozen. Do your homework and have your questions ready when you go to see a physician. If the dr doesn’t connect with you and you don’t feel comfortable with the care and recommendations, you get up and say thank you and leave. She then said if you tell anybody I told you this I will deny I ever said this to you!
This happened to me with a doctor and nurse in the ER once. They thought I was having a panic attack because they saw that I had been diagnosed with anxiety two years prior.
But I knew I was having an asthma attack because my inhaler wasn't working. I tried to tell them but they told me to just sit there and eventually my anxiety will go away.
My mom got to the ER and tried to tell them but they rolled their eyes and said they had real patients with real problems to attend to and that I just needed to calm down and realize it was all in my head.
I thought I was going to die. I was taking short shallow breaths and crying and saying please help me. They would just walk by and judge me. It was the worse feeling.
My mom went into the hospital and found my disabled aunt's doctor who knews us. He came and saw I was turning purple. He immediately made them get me a bed and asked why I had not been treated.
The nurse told him "Oh he just has anxiety" and made a crazy face as she did that. He asked her if she also saw that I had been diagnosed with asthma and she said that 9 times out of 10 if someone has anxiety it is all in their head.
He then ordered her to get me a bed and went to talk to the other doctor.
The nurse begrudgingly got me situated and gave me a shot and slowly I could breath again. But she acted like it was not the shot that helped me but my mind having some effect that it knew I got the shot and so that is why I could breath.
She told my mom that people with anxiety will calm down once they take medicine because they feel like they will be fine.
My anxiety works different than that. I hate taking medications because that gives me anxiety. I worry about side effects and everything. And my mom told her that. She shook her head and said "looks like I can not win with you people" and left.
We were shocked. Then about half an hour later she came back in and said the ER doctor also ordered me a shot of a drug that relaxes you, so that I could rest.
I asked her what drug it was as she prepared it. And she said "Why? You don't trust me?"
I told her "I don't even know you. And with the way you have treated me... No I do not trust you at all. I have a right to know what you are putting in my body "
So she shook her head and said fine and told me it was a medicine (wont say the actual name) that I had previously been given and which gave me intense paranoia both times I had been given it. It was so bad thay my PCP had told me to never take it again and to tell other medical people I was allergic to it. So my mom told her I was allergic to it and she said "what kind of allergy?"
My mom told her and she laughed and said "That is not an allergy ma'am. THAT is his ugly anxiety taking hold. He needs help."
I told her I have been getting help since my anxiety started two years ago but my allergy has nothing to do with my anxiety. That allergy happened when I was younger. I refuse to take that medicine. She rolled her eyes and said "Well, I am giving it to you."
She reached to stick it into the IV and I went ballastic. I sat up and started screaming. She stopped, slammed the needle down and said "Fine. Suffer. Is this the way you treat people who are trying to help you?"
"Trying to help me? I almost died because of you. You have treated me like a crazy person all because bad things happened to me two years ago and I having been trying to deal with it. But all you see is a diagnosis of Anxiety and PTSD and all of a sudden you judged me and decided that everything medical in my chart must come from my anxiety diagnosis. You think that is helping me?!" Was my response. She daid nothing and just left the room.
The ER doctor came in later and said the test came back and showed that I not only had asthma but also that I had gotten pneumonia. Wow.
He said they were gonna get me some medicine for the pneumonia. He said I was lucky I got the asthma medicine when I did.
I told him he had some nerve telling me that as he let me sit there for two whole hours gasping for air and telling me it was all in my head.
He said "well 9 times out of 10 when someone has anxiety it IS all in their head".
I was so angry and hurt. I told him. "Two years ago I witnessed my father die right in front of me and my mom and then two months later I was drugged and attacked and almost killed but I ran for my life and was chased and luckily got away. That is where my anxiety stems from. But I, like my dad, was diagnosed with asthma later in life. And today I almost died because you and that horrible nurse who I never want to see again judged me. THAT is not your job." I had tears in my eyes having to re-live all the trauma and began coughing. I could tell he felt horrible and apologized. I just asked for a new doctor and a new nurse and told him I hoped he learned something from all of this.
It is sad that when something bad happens to someone they are told to seek help and talk to someone. I did do that because after my attack I could not live. I shut myself away afraid to come outside. And when I contemplated suicide I knew I needed help and got it. But then you get diagnosed with anxiety, depression, PTSD and the like and then get judged for that. And they are not the only medical people who have done that to me.
I was told by my therapist that it is in my best interest and my right to ask a medical professional any questions I may have. And to voice my concerns because it is my body after all and who else is gonna do it. So I do ask lots of questions. I always have concerns about side effects etc. But it seems a lot of doctors hate to be asked questions. It like offends them and they take it like you don't trust their judgment. When the truth is we barely know the people who are caring for us sometimes so why even go there and take it personal?
That sounds like a horrible experience. I can relate to much of this
@Chango_Loco, I’m so sorry this happened to you. I hope this never happens again.
I went through something similar, but not as bad as your experience. I truly feel for you.
I am soooooo sorry. You were treated horribly and it was wrong.
I am so glad you had someone to advocate for you and you stood up for yourself! These days, it seems like other people, including institutions and governments, think they have the right to determine what happens with someone else's health and they don't listen. My mom went to an emergency room, and was misdiagnosed with dehydration and was sent home after an iv for that. She died a few days later from that mistake and a series of incompetent actions. The urgent care person did not listen. The hospital seemed to have lost all her medical records. So keep standing up for yourself!
Thanks for Helping us old people we're so hated for growing old 🧓 and wearing out 😔 sad but True
When my father was in his 60s, he ended up in the ER several times because he was in so much pain he couldn’t sleep. He had seen the doctor in the past with no real answers. At one ER visit, his doctor came in and told him “It’s just pleurisy - you’re going to have to live with the pain!” He finally found a new doctor who sent him to a surgeon. He had his gangrenous gallbladder removed, and was cured of his supposed pleurisy!
If you haven’t already, please bring a copy of your dad’s surgery report, a copy of that ER doctor’s report, with a note stating that the pleurisy was actually a gangrene gallbladder. And give a copy of the same to the adminstrator. Hopefully, that doctor won’t make the same mistake again. Glad your dad is ok now. ❤
It's stuff like that why I don't sign hospital arbitrations anymore. I've been misdiagnosed 3 times by hospitals. I've also had a hospital read my kidney CT's backwards... TWICE. TG my urologist caught it. I have to bring my hard copy of the CD for my urologist to look at it in person. She said that hospital I used has done that several times. In your case I think I would have contacted an attorney. At least a contact a contingency lawyer.
My mom was told by her Dr her problem was her heart. A traveling nurse told us it was her gallbladder. The nurse told the Dr but he told her to shut up. Thus is the stuff to watch for.
Oh my goodness, I wish him well now x
Wow. I grew up in a family where I suffered gaslighting abuse from my dad and brother. Today I am an extremely anxious person and suffer chronic pain. I also don't trust others and doctors fall under that. Thank you for talking about this.
I am a cytotechnologist and my husband is a pathologist. Two years ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer. First surgeon we saw basically did not want to consider what I wanted. She even came to the conclusion that I was undecided about how I wanted to treat my cancer. She knew best. She treated my husband and I like we were idiots and knew nothing about breast cancer. Needless to say we kicked her to the curb and found another surgeon.
I was gaslight until I learned to advocate for myself, I REFUSE to be gaslit any further.
I always leave doctor appointments feeling humiliated as an automatic response because I’ve been gaslit by so many doctors. When you find one that really hears and sees you as a person with value, it’s so amazing.
Whenever I do encounter a doctor that listens and treat me like an intelligent person I always thank them. They usually react flustered, saying: it is normal to act caring to your patients. I tell them it should be normal indeed, but alas there are a lot of doctors that are judging and condescending and not open to dialogue. So I cherish those who are caring and open.
Every time I have to start over with a new doctor… It sounds like a 90% chance of them not listening at minimum or gaslighting atmaximum… So tempting to just give up.
❤I’m an ER doc. The work of combat against this kind of gaslighting is real! Been there myself too.
And it's really bad at the ER!
I just don’t understand why our health system is like this…I wish you were my ER doctor. I went through a phase where I kept having to go to the ER for stomach ache and vomiting for like years. Always told gastroenteritis. If not for the fact the last time I had bilious vomit I never would have been given a CT. Long story short it turns out that for the 14 years of my life which was the entirety of it at that point…all along I had superior mesenteric artery syndrome. Mom had taken me to GI too and it was first anxiety, then abdominal migraines then inferred munchausen by proxy so my mom never took me back because she was terrified I would be taken from her. But once they finally did a CT all of a sudden surgeons came in wanting to do surgery right away. Mom said no at this point I’m researching this diagnosis and want conservative treatment and was admitted. Treated like a Queen and circus sideshow because everyone wanted to see the girl with EDS and SMAS. We went to Germany for treatment and the care was amazing at every level.
For all your education you deserve to work in a better healthcare model and be treated better yourself. I’m so sorry for what you experienced and fight against for others. Please know that each person you try to help appreciates that. You’re a rare gem
@@chelseahill1257 Agree. He is indeed a very rare and precious gem!
Imagine the number of people who would have rejected the experimental jab if their doctors and pharmacists were honest with them. Millions would have avoided severe harm and death. Informed consent became illegal during covid as deadly treatments were mandated, and doctors were towed the line. I don't think Western medicine will ever recover from such gross negligence and outright malice.
Yeah I went to the ER and was admitted for Cholecystitis and then I heard through the curtain the attending tell the Dr who admitted me “it’s a holiday weekend, she’ll be fine following up outpatient”. I made an appointment but went back to the ER the day before my appointment because I was so sick, they gave me IV fluids and didn’t do any testing because I had just been there. By the time I got in to see the surgeon he had to admit me because I had pancreatitis.
I'm a 60ish woman.
Went to ER, & FIRST words out of his mouth were:
"How do I know if you are not just here for PAIN PILLS?!
Ass! Horrible.
Because one can order them online stupid dr! And No I'm not going to tell you
And every Wed night at speedway gas station around America dispensary of fentanal test strip along with trac test. The baddest opium out there. Horse tranz. Ha. I'm glad there are chemical students determined determined to help society if one chooses to use drugs. Dr's should not be our gods. They do not have wings
I went into the local ER (no other hospital for 60 miles) SIX times with severe abdominal pain before a doctor finally said, "Why hasn't this woman been sent to see a gastroenterologist?". Each time, I would have a scan and each time I was told it wasn't gallstones. Guess what it turned out to be after an endoscopy? Huge gallstones! I was in the ER another six times for the pain before I could finally have them out, six weeks after diagnosis. During the wait, I would come into the ER in pain with a printout of the diagnosis and color pictures and I would still be treated like drug-seeking trash. One doctor took my printout, looked at it, then tossed it into the corner wall, saying, "I don't know what this is." and walked. I learned to go only during the day, no matter how bad the pain was, in order to see a doctor who would acknowledge what was happening. One time, I took my sister with me. We were put in a small room. I was sitting on the table and my sister was standing by the door. When the doctor came in, I held out my hand and said, "Hello, doctor. Thank you for seeing me." He ignored my hand, glared at me, and barked out, "I'm not going to give you a prescription!". As he said that, the door he threw open when he barged in slowly creaked back from the wall, revealing my sister. I so wish I had a video of his face as he realized he had a witness present. His face struggled to change from scowl to a smile, but he just couldn't make it. It was painful and fascinating to watch. He managed a strangled, "How can I help you?". After that, my sister wouldn't let me go alone. But, by that time, the surgeon became available. In the three months of torture I endured, I heard just about every ignorant and stupid thing a doctor or nurse could possibly say. Because there was only one hospital in the area, I couldn't go anywhere else. (edited for grammar)
I am a retired Paramedic.When my new doctor was checking my lung sounds,she moved the stethoscope to the next lung field before listening to my expiration.When I asked her why she wasn’t checking for rales, rhonchi, or wheezing on my expiration,she said I know too much.😂
Retired E.R.15 years and Paramedic 41 years ⚕️
Wow, she doesn't like people seeing her incompetence or sloppiness!
I’m retired pararescue. At the VA, I can’t tell you the times (probably 20) I’ve called Dr. AND nurses out on simple things. Normal people wouldn’t know they are doing.
@@wango556-or not doing!
Same her I called a dr out for listening to my heart for about 10 seconds. Lungs the same.
I’m neither a doctor or a paramedic . I had to call out a paramedic last time 911 was dialed .
He was quite a bit younger, and apparently threatened by my knowledge. He rudely told me I’d “ have to sign a waiver” .
I calmly said.. “get one. I’ll wait”. Funny how he immediately backed down and started listening.
LISTENING is a lost art apparently.
I had a sleep doctor tell me that I needed to see a psychiatrist after my grandson passed. I told him I would pray instead. He literally said that was not going to work. I am 62, lost a mother, 2 brothers, 1 sister, my 19 year old daughter and now my grandson. Prayer was my saving.
I'm so sorry to hear about the losses you have endured, but I can only imagine how much resilience it has given you. I hope you have had support from your health and loved ones throughout 🙏
Amen!
Stay out of hospitals. Stay w your prayer tribe ❤
Always pray, pray every day - prayers for help, prayers of thanks, prayers for others.
God wants us to pray, God tells us that in our Bible.
Prayer is talking to yourself. If it helps you, good for you. But you’re not talking to anyone else.
I am 75 and argue with my doctor regularly. He is now used to the fact I do my research before taking any medicine or advice and he stopped gaslighting me when I heal myself.
I fired my doctors in November of 2022 after a diagnosis of Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia. The hematologist oncologist told me there was nothing I could do because “you are too poor to afford the treatment”. Then my PCP told me she couldn’t do anything else, even refusing to do labs to see if what I was doing made a difference. I did research, finding 1935 research published in a foreign medical journal. The research told of magnesium being used to cure chronic lymphocytic leukemia. I bought magnesium supplements, I took those at 3 times the amount recommended for 3 months. In March 2024 I found a new doctor, she did labs. Stating she felt my magnesium was probably at a toxic level, she also tested for that. When my labs came back they found “no signs of chronic lymphocytic leukemia. My magnesium levels were at a low normal. I will continue to be my own first doctor! I will continue to dismiss any doctor who doesn’t do what I need done.
That is amazing! How did you come by an obscure research from 1935?
@@se5594 searching the internet at odd hours, then following the strings where they lead me. I’m an incredibly patient person, most of the time.
The study was done on nutrient depravation and its results. The deprivation of magnesium was only a small part of it. The deprivation of magnesium CAUSED chronic lymphocytic leukemia, when added back into the diet, all subjects were cured. Incredibly, modern physicians only take ONE nutrition class in their entire education. I will continue my quest for health. For myself and my family.
I'm SO glad you're still here Ellen! That was my dear grandmother's middle name. Hugs from Georgia today! ❤
@@JamieLynnMorris thank you.🩷
When my mom went into the emergency room for bacterial pneumonia, she was treated like she was just looking for drugs and turned away. My mom returned home on the brink of death and I drove her back there right away and I stormed in there screaming at the top of my lungs and grabbed one of the doctors by his shirt collar and had to threaten them with physical violence and a malpractice lawsuit against them to just take a look at her. They ended up having to cover all of my mom's medical expenses, sometimes you just gotta raise some hell at these people.
I wish I had a kid like you - or even like myself - as I'm going to need one when I end up in the nursing home some time in the next 15 years. I have no one to act as my MPOA - it's awesome your mom has someone like you.
Good for you!!! 👍👍
😢@@youdontwanttoknow5203
I was once 2 months at hospital and the hospital food gave me urin acid arthritis attack and it was more painful then when I totally crushed my shoulder in an accident (the joint was gravel...). I told the doctors I needed a cure of predisolone and painkillers of the strongerst kind. They only gave me painkillers for 6 hours every 24 hours and refused to give me predisolone because I 2 years earlied had heart paplitation from it. After 10 days of horrible pain worse then I have ever experienced I forced the doctors to give me one last injection of voltarol and did drive the 3 hours home. Day after I did go to my regular doctor and he sent me on Christmas day back to the hospital in an ambulance with ORDER to give me prednisolone medication. 2 hours after first dose the pain was gone... 14 days later they sent me to a arthritis expert that confirmed I most likely had urin acid arthritis attack but then the sickness was totally gone and I went home ...
@@a64738 WOW...that makes me wonder about the arthritis I've been experiencing - I know my brother has gout and it's possible my arthritis is also gout. They can prescribe pain meds every 4 hours - surgeons still will but GPs won't. It's maddening because some people process pain meds faster - I know mine don't last 6 hours. Only 4. And my doc will not increase the dose. I have had one steroid joint injection for it and the pain was gone that night - but it wore off really fast so I might need an oral steroid, but I hate taking them. I too get palpitations and they make them worse. Empathizing big time.
My mother died a horrible death because of medical gaslighting and incompetence. Actually, to me, it was medical murder because she was completely dismissed and told repeatedly that she " just had the flu", "oh, well you sat around and let the flu turn in to pneumonia.". It took me getting in the doctor's face and demanding to know why he wasnt evaluating her for lung cancer.........by the time she had the proper tests the cancer had spread and she passed exactly 5 days after stage 4 diagnosis on Thanksgiving day. She spent months unable to breath, growing weaker and weaker in excruciating pain while that POS doctor billed her insurance. I am sorry to anyone else that has suffered this type of thing. God be with you.
I’m so sorry for what your mom and your family suffered. As a nurse, I’ve seen it happen to many elderly. Its truly criminal.
Sadly so many ppl go through such same things.
My brother went for more then a year to a doctor. Twice he was brought in while to collegues had to carry him. Within a few minutes he stood outside. Even after he at his job (constructions) collapsed several times over several weeks.
Two collegeas again brought him to this doctor. But it was closed. So they carried him to the opposite of the street where also a doctor was. Although not his own.
My brother was immediatly send to the hospital. Due to the record of his own doctor they did nothing. After 8 weeks he collapsed again. He had to go to his job otherwise he lost his job. Because there was nothing wrong with him. It was all made up in his mind told his own doctor. Once he asked him if he knew the term Hydroconder ? He did not. And then that doctor started to explain that to him with a rotten smile on his face. And his last sentence was while he walked us out of room " remember ! , there always comes a time when a Hydroconder will be right ". So everyone waiting in the patientroom woukd hear it.
It took another year that become aware in another hospital at the other side of the country where he also collapsed that he had Sarcoidosis. In a very late stage. His lungs were comlletely raptured due to tissieu pressure by large immflammation that were as big a eggs. Hundreds of them. Also in other organs. There was nothing to be done anymore. A dissease where nobody should die from anymore. Only when it progresses for years and years. It took only one picture of the lungs to see something was terrible wrong.
In his medical file that evil dictor wrote several pages over the years about being a Hydrocondor.
That was why in the first hospital visit the hospital did nothing. They only got a warning. That is what ever will be his punishment. He thinks.
I'm so sorry! Negligence completely.
@@keesverhagen9227Again....another case of malpractice! I do not know how the system works outside Australia where I live, but surely the twisted American system can be questioned. Can doctors be reported to these mega insurance companies or are they all in each other's pockets??
I'm so sorry 😢
A big THANK YOU … my adult daughter lives 3 states away, and she’s having trouble getting doctors to take her seriously for low oxygen, low blood pressure, heart palpitations, and other symptoms. She is tracking on her Apple Watch and finally her family physician acknowledges something is going on.
As a fibro patient, you encounter gaslighting everywhere...even from some doctors. With time, you start to doubt yourself, your pain, your sanity. Thank you so much for such supportive information. We need to learn to advocate for ourselves, our kids, elderly family....this is priceless.
Thank you Dr K. I remember meeting my daughter at her appointment with her new pain Dr. I was a couple of minutes late, and When I walked in he was sitting very close and face to face with her. He jumped back and suddenly became very defensive. She explained to him that she could no longer take the neurontin because it was making her fall asleep while she was driving and causing her to gain weight. He told her "isn't it better to be sleepy and gain 200 pounds than to have pain?" Talk about appalled! He didn't care about a thing she was saying, even though I repeated it and questioned him. He re-prescribed the medicine and we left.
I told her not to refill it. The next day she called his office and they would not let her speak with him. She said she was no longer going to take the medication. His response was "Fine stop taking it!" He gave her no instruction for coming off the medication. I told her to call the pharmacist. He told her she had to slowly decrease the dosage or she'd go through withdrawal and seizures. She went through withdrawal even though she decreased slowly, but luckily no seizures.
I consider that malpractice.
I would call it negligence for sure! I am sorry that happened to your daughter.
I do as well this country has become a crying shame of abuse on the weak and disabled they are all agaisnt opioids but it comes from a natural plant and we have natural reactions to these drugs our body will kick in and reject it by adrenaline but if u take drugs like benzos that stops ur natural body from being able to regulate ur adrenaline then u can go into withdrawl the benzos they use are all chemical they have no natural plant that produced this reaction at all people can't od on opioids but people in pain they're heart can give out from high blood pressure no to mention that this causes so many major problems with all ur major organs by being in pain it destroys ur body more then any effects of addiction they're bullshit about it being bad for u is garbage the fact that more people have died from it since they cut back proves it so for 2thousand years we use it sell over counter to the 70s but now it's band and people are dieing bs people are dieing from bad drs not pain meds pain can cause worse effects then addiction I was hit by a car I can't tell u how many drs have treated me so badly because I have a genetic flaw that causes nothing to work unless very high amounts makes every dr treat me so badly seriously if I could get out of bed I would be in Washington arguing with every politician until they changed these laws which they claim isn't supposed to effect people like me with end of life pain due to the bs drs have done to me im in palliative care and can't get pain meds to help me unless I spend money I don't have in the hospital I've gone through so many surgerys just to survive and I'm unable to get pain meds at home for my pain but they give me a redicouls amount in the hospital I have 3 people with me every dr visit because it takes 3 people to care for me since this 85 yr old man decided to ruin my life and that of my family's it's total bs if I could have a pain pump I could have all I want but because I can't have a pain pump because my body can't have the items in my I'm allergic they can't refill it monthly because lidocain doesn't work at all and the dr can't cause pain because it's malpractice to cause more harm but yet they won't let me have the right amount because there is a chance I could sell it even though they know it's what is keeping me alive the guy whom I didn't chose as my dr and I can't go to a new dr without his referral which he won't give me I was seeing a dr at this office and she left after she cut a cancer patient who was dieing pain meds in half she did mine same day I've been in bed ever since he showed up at our next dr appt and shot himself in the head in front of her we were there it was horrible but he let her know he couldn't live like this but she didn't care she wouldn't risk her license for giving him a dose he had been on for 10 years with cancer which is crazy I didn't know u could live that long like that I was hit 7 years ago took a long time for me to gain function of being able to talk walk understand things yet I suffer and I can prove with simple blood pressure test of how much pain I'm in 240/120 185hr yet they say they can't give me more yet the manufacturer of the drugs claims they are good for 4-6 not 8 hrs apart they only give relief for 3 1/2 hours and then I start throwing up from pain my body shakes sweats then I vomit my husband thinks it's early withdrawal but u can't get withdrawl withing 4hours it's the effects of the pain kicking in high gear I spend hours crying just trying to survive the next 10 seconds I use distraction but when migraines are full blown there is no help my face will start having these jerking thing where I can't see or have control of my face I have these lighting pain effects just ripping my body apart Jerking my body it's so miserable I worry I will die this way how horrible and if it was a simple 10 years ago I wouldn't be in this position I would be able to see a physical therapist and work to fix my body with the correct dose to help me I hope ur daughter gets better and u find help and relief so sad for her and what u are going through I know it ruins everyone's life not just hers but effects everyone but it will be soul crushing to her and makes her think this life isn't worth living I wouldn't be here if I didn't have 3 young boys I am living for them so they are not alone in this cruel world what's sad is my son is always trying to find someone to help me it's not his job it's my job to help him its tearing him apart because we had such a good life and in a second of someone else it all ended and the insurance that I pay way to much for totally screwed me and the old guy who didn't care got away with ruining every second of what life I had left I was in my 30s and now I live like a 98 yr old and have had to sell everything I ever made to survive my marriage is not a marriage it's a care giver and his lead weight drowning him he's so desperate to try to fix me but it's not a loving relationship it's he hates me he didn't sign up for this he is more child then man he was like another child I cared for he lived off me now we live off what I had bought and saved until its gone and my sons legacy is all gone I worked my butt off for everything gave up so much in life to make sure my kids never went through what I did as a kid and now they will anyways while I missed the precious moments to make sure they had college and a house and a car by the time they needed it it's so not fair but it's criminal what I go though just to survive the day laying in bed no family no friends no enjoyment just suffering upon suffering and who's life is better for this the drug dealer making his cut the black ops who are able to bust a cartel billion dollar stash ur not saving lives that's for sure I've seen so many people kill them self over this bs laws pain still there u just took away lawful people resources that's all junkies are still junkies u didn't stop them not a single one
I had moved back to IA, had to find a new pcp. In the town I was living, I couldn't find a dr who would take me as a patient because they only took so many medicare patients a year. So I had to go the dr's employed through the hospital and their ofc was in the hospital. A little history, this hospital has been a joke 2 or 3 counties wide that they were a 'bandaide hospital'. Meaning if you want serious medical care, drive the extra hour or more to city hospitals. Anything more than a few stitches, you didn't go to this small town hospital. Its been a joke since the 70's that I recall. And in 2008, its still the joke of the town.
I learned real quick the quality of care with the hospital employed drs.
Drs who couldn't get a job in a private clinic. The dr in this hsp clinic, after just one visit put me on methodone. I don't know why. I never asked for this drug. (degenerative joint disease, I didn't know all the other health problems yet)
It did help with the pain, but after about a year and a half. It wasn't helping. I felt that the pain was worse on the drug than on it. That's when I learned about the nature of narcotics for pain. First, there's no such thing as pain free. And narcotics tend to build up in the body, nixing the effectivness for pain control. I told my dr I didn't want to take it any more. He refused to take me off first. (because its a narcotic, I had to sign a drug paper. That paper said drs could test me for drugs at any time and there was no limit. He was testing me for a full drug panel about every other month. $1600 a pop!) Meet the new cash cow!
So I asked the pharmacist how to ween off the drug myself. Cutting back a bit at a time. Within the month I was no longer taking them, and had mild withdrawl symptoms for about 2 weeks.
When I saw my dr, he had me coming in every month. I told him I stopped the drug. I also needed a refill on my bp meds, etc. When I stopped at the pharmacy, I discovered that he gave me the rx anyways. I never filled it. I didn't trust him. He already angry with me because I complained about him to the hsp mgmt and they told him about it!
I didn't care. Because I was no longer on narcotics, I was able to get into a private practice who treated me with much better respect.
Should have filed complaint against that dr to that state's medical board of medicine.
@@MeagainIA2011that complaint about that Dr should have been made to the state's board of medicine. The board is forced to investigate the complaint.
I have had ankylosing spondylitis for 33 years. It took 22 years to get a diagnosis, and it wasn’t a Doctor Who figured it out, it was me. I could write a big giant book on the amount of medical gaslighting that I have been through. Now I am in therapy working through all of that gaslighting. The amount of damage that the medical community can inflict on patients by not simply listening, can last a lifetime.
wow - Don't know if you are a believer; but, I am. May God send you many blessings.
@@atlasshrugged7475 I am. I wouldn’t be alive today if I weren’t. Thank you! God bless you too ❤️
I am so sorry, @jowiens. That is very painful. I have 3 autoimmune conditions and my Rheumy was concerned I had AS, but I was spared that dx.
Omg I thought AS was one of the ones that showed up on imaging. I'm angry for you!
I have AS type pain but no clear signs like radiographic evidence
Same here. After I told Jesus Christ to help me get diagnosed a miracle happened and I was sent to get tested for lupus and get X-rays done and sure enough there it was, ankylosing spondylitis.
And Lord revealed to me how it was connected to MMR 💉 I received as a condition to getting a Green Card. Cell lines MCR-5 and WI-38. 💔
I'm the patient that fits into #3. I've been told over and over again that my tests are either normal, don't fit the normal for any specific condition, or get told they don't know what the results mean. I even had a Dr ignore results because he didn't know what they meant, and I had to call him out on it. I've been dealing with they pain and loss of full function on over half my body. This is over 3 years of this and ZERO answers, as of yet. I went from being successful on the job (manager at a fortune 500 company) front and a very physically active person (marathon runner, etc) to staying home on disability and walking with a cane, heavily medicated 24-7. After dealing with this for so long, I broke down and am having to see a therapist because I've been torn down by my condition and the slew of doctors gaslighting me. Oddly, scry condition you mentioned for #3 I was told I didn't have because some of my numbers didn't quite fit. It's so difficult to keep going and dealing with those in the medical profession, due to this, but it's something that I must do.
Honestly, I have no idea how your video even got into my suggested videos but I'm glad it did. Thanks.
After decades of fatigue, migrating Joint Pain, hyper mobility causing excessive broken bones and many different digestive issues... I paid $425 for a functional doctor appointment, he ordered a bunch of labs and now I have confirmation that I'm not an attention seeking hypochondriac, like I've always been made to feel. I tested positive for a connective tissues disorder... That causes issues that have hospitalized me in the past, I told doctors I believed I had EDS and none of them wanted to even attempt to diagnose me. A few actually laughed and said it was a "made up issue that the Internet has everyone thinking they have" or "there's no treatment for it so why do you care about the diagnosis" I care because I have children who suffer from the same pain I always have and complications from it can cause death if special treatment isn't taken when they do things like steroids shots into joints or organs rupturing without notice.
“It’s all in your head dear” was a refrain when I had severe endometriosis in the 1980s! Even after I was diagnosed!!! “Our tests show you’re not tired enough” when I was visibly falling over in front of them from sleep apnea.
Why do doctors deny there is something wrong with us! They act like we’re bothering them.
Thank you for addressing this horrible issue!!!!
Exactly!!!!
Why? A healthy person doesn't bring in the money. Keeping someone sick or allowing their illness to progress while doing "follow-ups" sure does though. Think about it. Not everyone is "nice" and "cares" for you. They care, just for your money. Especially if you have insurance. It's sad you have to even think about it that way, but as my favorite saying goes: Reality doesn't care about your feelings.
I understand. I had endometriosis for years. I didn't know that I had it; I only knew I wasn't well. I went to my PCP on multiple occasions for help. She would LAUGH and tell me it was symptomatic of perimenopause because of my age. It took 30 years of suffering before I found a doctor who diagnosed me! I'm so sorry you went through this...
@@MavicAir1 status, back in grad school there was a major difference between people in PhD and MD programs in terms of attitude. Neither of the programs were easy, but for whatever reason MD students thought they literally were “cooler” than PhDs. That starts in undergrad in premed programs. They somehow get “we are better than anyone else cause we decided to go this route”- that’s the attitude.
Throughout 15 years in academia in different ways, I have met two, literally two people who were doing premed and were genuinely nice unpretentious people. Most others go into medicine “cause you get to drive a nice car to work” period
Yes, my experience in the UK was very similar. Took 8 years to be diagnosed and more years of treatment and misery followed, including an unsympathetic, snotty gyne lady consultant.
If a doctor gaslights me he gets fired, you doctors forget you work for us, not the other way around.
Right, as if you have that power.
@@krielkip Actually, you do have that power. Nobody can tell you that you have to see a specific doctor. Don't be afraid to just say the magic words "you're fired" and then get a new doctor. For some very few of them, it's a wakeup call that they've fucked up pretty bad.
@@Quakeboy02 That probably works different over there, here in Holland you can ask for a second opinion ofcourse, but the system is very much against 'doctorhopping'. Sure you can say that you don't want to see a specific doctor, but the question then is if you can find another. Waitinglists are very long here, most of the time there is very few choice. It might even take you 2 years to find a housedoctor, and that is the one who generally decides which specialist you may go.
Here in Canada and in nb specifically you get what you get and there is no leaving the doc and if you try you get blackballed and you won’t get another.
Americans think they want socialized medicine but as commenters have said, you give up choice. You get what you pay for. My friends in the UK who can afford it always see private doctors.
For YEARS my son had symptoms of headaches, malaise after eating and ADHD. We went to many specialists for the individual symptoms. at 14 years old we ended up at a Med Help for what seemed to be pink eye. Found out later he had rubbed his eye to get out of school but thank God. The blood pressure they got on him was 178/118. when they told me that I said thank you. I am a nurse had been getting blood pressures of 160/100, 150/100 for years. I thought my cuff was too big. He was finally diagnosed with pheochromocytomas on each adrenal gland that sits on top of the kidneys and regulate pulse and blood pressure. I too was treated like an alarmist mother. Our heroes were Dr Daniel Ruan and Dr Biren Modi both in Boston at the time. God bless them and the staff of BOSTON CHILDRENS Hospital. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Too large cuff gives you a lower BP. Too small and tight gives you a higher reading.
Thirteen years with acalculus gallbladder disease. Thirteen years of terrible pain from gallbladder attacks. Finally my gallbladder died and the gangrene set in. They could see that I was in terrible pain and took a blood sample. They immediately put me on an IV antibiotic and checked me in. It was the night from hell, with alternating antibiotics and a morphine drip. I was talking to the surgeon after the surgery and my GI doc walked by. I called him over and had the surgeon explain. My GI doc said he'd never heard of that. That was in LA. Years later I spoke to a doctor in Florida saying it was very rare. His response was "Rare? We do surgery for that all the time." (SMH)
I have been suffering with Fibromyalgia/Chronic Pain since 1997. I was 20 at that time. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been told by doctors that: I was imagining things, this was all psychological, I was just throwing a pity party, those symptoms are unheard of, etc. I finally realized that for many doctors, if they don’t know how to help you, the symptoms are all YOUR fault. Narcissistic behavior, 100%.
I have it too and Chronic fatigue among other things. IN 97 they barely knew what Fibromyalgia was. I was fortunate to have a Dr who did research and stayed up on it. However it still took a cpl years to figure it all out. People with depression do have all the symptoms of Fibromyalgia so we can't blame them for thinking if depression is one of your symptoms that it is the cause of your other symptoms. We have to do our own research when they say they can't figure it out. I kept a diary and a cause and effect type log - so I could go in and tell them when what where etc.... This helps them narrow it down because frankly we are a mystery to them in our home life and they can't know everything we are experiencing. But by doing my diary I found that if I drink Diet anything, or use any diet sugars, I would be in a worse flare up than if I ate regular sugar too much. It affected the bowels which affected the fibromyalgia which affected the chronic fatigue and on and on... but now they actually have found this is a fact - the researchers now know this stuff and certain other foods and things can affect us badly. Keep a Diary. Its great advice as the Dr said.
@@jeanb.5405 Also, I was diagnosed at the Mayo Clinic. They didn’t give me any information other than pain management. I feel like those who are diagnosed now have so much more information.
Me too
The problem is that Fib.Mylg. doesn’t fit any known disease model. I’m not saying it doesn’t exist just that it has not been figured out…there is nothing that can be measured consistently from one patient to another, and therefore no standard of care or regimen of drugs that can be reliably applied across the board. What might work for you could cause harm to someone else.
Lyme disease is another one that doctors often dismiss
I 'm female, am now 70, have survived breast cancer and ovarian tumors, and have successfully lived alone and supported myself with MS for 35 years. I have two science degrees and was also a registered nurse. My experience has been that the majority of doctors are arrogant, dismissive, and do NOT LISTEN to anything that patients say. When at age 39 I asked a prospective breast cancer surgeon about the likelihood of lymphedema he chucked me under the chin and said "just keep on smiling honey, and everything will be OK". I walked out and kept looking for a surgeon I could trust. When I told the head of the neurology department at a very large and famous hospital that I had memory and mental problems, that I could not remember how to stop a car fast enough to avoid going through a red light, how to add/subtract single digit numbers, that I could not remember my own brother's name, he said "oh you're probably just depressed, depressed people forget things". You have to hunt to find a decent doctor who will actually listen to you and treat you as an individual instead of another Porsche payment. And when you find them, cherish them!
Registered nurse here, also agree on the comment on physicians
Thank you for providing concrete examples. Excellent!
Even then, when you have real diagnosable conditions, they ignored you!
I am so over having "fibromyalgia", with no conclusive tests.
This is so out of phase with my experience and experiences of others around me. Doctors actually over prescribe, over test, over follow up, and seem to do everything they can to keep you in the system. It's not in their best interest to turn people away. So I don't know where you live, but doctors over here are passionate about pushing drugs, tests, and plenty of worry about your health to make you keep coming back. So the reason I personally stay away from doctors is because I DON'T want their attention. Doctors are biased to find problems...and in my experience, they make problems because they convince people all their problems are 'treatable' by their drugs and surgeries. So they are great for actually health emergencies, but not for healthy LIVING. Living is up to you, not them. You only use doctors for diagnosis and treatment, nothing else.
@coop5329 I had a severe TBI from a car accident and a doctor told me not being able to remember things was because I was depressed from not being able to walk from the accident. And that my migraines were from depression. Ridiculous gaslighting.
You aren't kidding. I will die in Boca Raton because of that. My medical care is #1.
I took my just turned 2 year old son to the ER on Saturday, he was limping and very pale! The ER doctor told me that i was a hysterical mom and nothing was wrong with him! I took him to his pediatrician on Monday. He sent us to Children's hospital, and we found out he had leukemia! He will be 42 in June! Thank God for Dr Ramalingan in Lompoc, California! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Alexia L Dickey from Utica Park Clinic in Oklahoma is THE WORST GASLIGHTING Dr. In America.
I stand by it.
I’ve been gaslit so many times in my life’s long diseases. Doctors have treated me like a criminal for having pain, horribly worsening my diagnoses. Thank you for this presentation.
Same with me, and my spouse
Same here 😞
Also here!!My 'Doctor' behaves like a jumped up popinjay, he refuses to treat my insomnia correctly!
Me too
My autoimmune system doctor as well. I believe many of these doctors were not called to the field. They just went for the money without factoring in they must be knowledgeable in the field to treat people. I have a great primary doctor. I pray he does not retire. He is great.
Thank you from Soviet Union trained RN working in US for 20 plus years. I personally experienced bullying, gaslighting, mockery over accent and place of birth. But I learned to stand up for myself and move on. Stay strong Comrads!
Hi, from a fellow ex-soviet born Estonian:)
I think people who come here to live & work & learn our language & customs are usually much more intelligent than many lazy, undereducated Americans. You just keep your head up & smile kindly. You & I know what you went through to be a nurse here. I lived in Europe for 3 years & learned a lot about people & I respect all nationalities even if I disagree with their governments. You’re a gift. You’re a DOUBLE gift because you are in the service of taking care of sick/injured people in their worst moments. God bless you! ❤
Well done lad ❤
You are amazing !!! You are so honest and kind .. wish every was like you who has so much empathy and compassion for their patients ❤❤
I’m a US citizen who has never left the country, I am so sorry my fellow country folks have been ignorant and prejudiced against you. Especially with the current world events, even if you are now the Ukrainian or Russian, my country people can make bigoted and frankly mindless comments that embarrass my entire country, and me personally. Stay strong!
You have found out the truth of why we've lost our faith in most medical situations. Thank you for being vulnerable to experience from patients point of view-and then to express so well, MUCH NEEDED 💖
My doctor would never. He's amazing and supportive but also calls me out when he needs to
Having an advocate with you with EVERY doctor appointment and especially when you are in the e.r. or are hospitalized is vital!
As a Lyme disease patient, I’ve experienced gaslighting so many times. They really do make you feel like you’re crazy.
Ditto … I am in a dispute with the latest asshole.
Yes!!
It’s reassuring hearing from other people who have been demeaned by someone who uses their power in a way to shut you down.
Yes indeed..
Omg yesss! That's what I was going to comment. Not just Lyme but I have morgellons and unfortunately is VERY real.
I have to say I have a wonderful young Dr, she always explores why I’m in to see her, and yes it does mean testing and more appointments as well as seeing other specialists but in the long run I’ve grown to trust her.
I had one doctor yell at me saying "I'm a doctor and I went to medical school" as if that is all that is required to be a good doctor. Good talk on gaslighting.
My mother and I were bullied by a surgeon into allowing him to perform a surgery on my mother by implying that if she didn’t have it, it meant certain death. We refused at first, then he came back the next day and doubled down on how important it was that she have this surgery. After the surgery, he said there was absolutely nothing wrong. I complained to the hospital. I filed a formal complaint. I told them we only agreed because he terrified us. 2 weeks later she was dead from complications. I hate myself so much for not standing up for her. I recently received a letter from the hospital that said they investigated and he followed protocol and there’s nothing to see here. It was addressed to my mother. They didn’t even bother to see what happened to my mother after the surgery. They didn’t even know she had died after it. I am devastated. My big takeaway from this is DON’T RUSH INTO A DECISION. And YOU CAN ASK FOR A SECOND OPINION.
omg I am so sorry. To be treated so callously afterwards is just...there are no words
I am so sorry this happened to you Mother and You. ❤😢
Sorry this happened to your mom.A shame they can actually get away with this.
My deepest condolences for your loss. And my utter contempt for doctors like the one you had the great misfortune of coming across.
That is really traumatic and I'm so sorry you went through all of that. That was NOT your fault because you did the best you knew how to do at the time. You didn't have the benefit of hindsight like you do now. Try to meditate and breathe out those guilty feeling and breathe in that it was the doctor who was responsible for what happened. Now you know from experience and will know in the future how to handle a situation like that and perhaps get a second opinion before undertaking a surgery or anything major.
If you're able, get all of the records, write down the whole story of what he said and what happened, then consult a lawyer to see if they think you have a case. I understand you might not be in a place where you can do that, but if you're able to healing bit you could consider trying.
My mother was in the same hospital twice last year for an infection in her leg. She had a huge hematoma on her leg. The infection didn't go away after five days in the hospital. A few months later she was admitted for the same problem. Every hospitalist just wrote down that she had a swelling and pain and redness on her leg. Nine days later she couldn't walk. I called the CEO's office and demanded a different doctor. He came that afternoon (a Friday). He ordered a CT scan. On Saturday, they removed a large abscess from under the hematoma. She is walking again. You're welcome.
I'm glad you were there for her!
Unbelievable!!! That is awful. Glad she finally got help. Geez!!!
She's lucky it didn't turn into cellulitis!
Bless you for helping the situation.
My mother brought me in when I was unable to eat, vomiting, dehydrated, skin and bones. The "doctor" told her to make me drink as much Gatorade as possible. The nurse was visibly shaken and insisted he take a glucose test. My beta cells were completely decimated and I was hours from death from lack of insulin. She also knew and told her it was the result of vaccine injuries. That was over forty years ago. To this day, I will not think twice in firing medical staff who don't take me seriously. Like Dr. Kaveh says, always bring an advocate, but also demand a PATIENT ADVOCATE. They will stand up and take notice.
THIS! I just stumbled on this, and already love you and what you are about! Thank you! We need more doctors like you! YES, empower the patient! Don't let them walk out of the doctor's office feeling worse than when they came in! You are a gem and a unicorn, sir! ❤
I'll never forget what a doctor said to me back in my 20s. Im 66 now. I had to get an IUD removed because I got infected. Here I am with my feet in stirrups, and I asked if going on the pill would help me lose some weight (which is what I heard). He said, "You're never going to lose weight". I felt so humiliated! I was already in a vulnerable position and then made to feel so bad about my body. I left there in tears. Many years later, I was in the ER. I had surgery about 3 weeks earlier and was throwing up blood. The nurse, a male, said he had to check for blood in my rectum. I was laying on my side and said something about how uncomfortable it made me. He said, " Hey, it's no fun for me either," as he's digging into my butt. I felt humiliated and so self-conscious. We don't forget those kind of remarks.
Medicine has more than it's share of Cluster B aholes. 👹 Mean people suck. 😢
After finding out my aunt had breast cancer, I was concerned about a lump I had. I was told by a “expert” in front of a bunch of medical students that “flat chested women don’t get breast cancer”. They walked away laughing.
😮Holy shit!
I had a male doctor do this to me too!
I'll never be the same!! I was 18 yrs old, having an allergic breathing reaction to an antibiotic. No need to give me a genital and anal exam in the ER!! F'n disgusting.
@@rebeccacarlson9166no. That’s assault, not bullying or gas lighting.
In my experience, during 5 pregnancies & childbirth, the most conceited, patronising consultantants have been gynaes & obstetricians.
Consultants in every field of specialism should be subject to frequent & stringent supervision from independent, unbiased authorities such as the CQC.
Sorry you had to endure such dreadful & unacceptable treatment 😢😡
When my doctor saw me a day after giving birth, I told him my lungs felt like cellophane when I laid down and I felt dizzy. He told me to sleep sitting up, laughed, and discharged me. I ended up being rushed to the ER later with severe peripartum cardiomyopathy. I was in intensive care, but he barged into my room and demanded why I didn't tell him how bad it was.
13:49 wow!
Did you sue????
Being an overweight senior person I have experienced this. Both times I went home and wrote a letter as to how I felt. The first time was an intern and she said she did not say what I said she’d done. Being a RN I realized what was said in the room “behind the curtain” and she was just parroting some of “joking” being said. I hope she went on to be a better doctor since she was just starting
Thank you for your great videos
I have to leave the comment section because of this very comment. I can’t deal with this bs coming from DOCTORS. You have my sympathy, lady.
Good grief. Awful patient care.
Honestly the absolute worst are hospital based psychiatric providers. They are been downright abusive.
I have felt belittled by doctors all my life. Now at 70, I have realised that I have acute awareness of my body and its changes. I now ALWAYS take my husband with me. More than once , he has had to intervene to support me.
Me too, I totally understand you
All my life I've been abused by Drs, misdiagnosed, neglected and have searched for the right dr most of my life. I have so many chronic diseases and had cancer twice, I have spinal stenosis and need urgent which is risky, I don't trust drs and suffer in silence,
@@tracey21able I hope you get some satisfaction. It’s very frustrating, indeed. All the very best for your health from now on💖
@@stephaniebell4272 thank you so much..means a lot..I'm just struggling and tired of Drs who has light me . neglect me and misdiagnos me. I have so many serious health issues because of the negligence. I only trust God now to get me thru each day
Thank you 👍 God bless you 🙏💞
Thank you for being honest! I had a urologist get so nasty with me because I asked a simple question. The question was about a procedure he wanted to do on my body! He had me in tears. He told me he was done and walked out. The resident with him reported him for his behavior to my GP. I eventually ended up seeing a great urologist that said I didn’t need this unnecessary procedure! Sticking up for yourself is a must in the medical setting.
Thank God the resident had the courage to report him.
I’ve learn to reverse it on them, by repeating what they just said to me, and have them state that it is the diagnosis for my health issue. Which they never want to do, so it actually triggers them into doing test, and not just dismissing my claims. I take back the power
I'm happy that you have found strategies that work for you! Hopefully others will learn from what you have shared!
We dealt with this when a "Doctor" at Kaiser told a friend of mine that his bone on bone loud crunching hip pain both Land R was sciatica. Dumped her, and got a new GP, and made sure in no uncertain terms the reason she was dumped was written in detail on his Kaiser patient portal, which she could still accss/read. Her clearly wrong dx delayed total hip transplant for 5 months. The pain he went through is her bad karma.
I had a doctor who gave an absolute, fibromyalgia is genetic and that’s it. I asked him, how do you know? did you test me for it? No response
I have an appointment next week that I made to discuss notations of "abnormal"on my blood tests. I had been notified that I was fine but asked for copies as I always do. He was busy, tired, couldn't relate because I hadn't brought them. I thought they were in the folder he carried. He's a good man. I think the system forces him to go door to door too fast in the large loop. He used to have his own office before he quit to care for a loved one in another city until death. One hears" the system" is broken a lot.
I'm going to start doing this! Thank you.
Great video, I have fired a few doctors for these same reasons in the past few years. They are always surprised.
I have FND and been gaslighted for many years. Thank you for bringing this to light!
I was diagnosed with cancer back when Covid was popular, I was not able to bring anyone with me to any of my appointments. I kept a diary and wrote everything down, I became my own advocate, I questioned everything! It empowered me and I truly believe it was a huge factor in my healing experience.
Excellent talk Doctor.
Educate yourself about the cancer industry lie, and get out from this big pharmaceutical cancer so called" treatment " who are responsible for all so called cancer deaths.
When you see many doctors, you walk away more confused about your care
COVID was never popular.
@@SarahKingsleyHaussman Oh, it certainly was.
@@SarahKingsleyHaussmanCovid has caused my hearing loss. I 100% know this because I caught it and had awful tinnitus and ear pressure then sudden hearing loss 2 months later.
As a senior woman I can tell you I've had thus happen more than once.
Same here. Doctors are lazy. A good one is hard to find.
Once you hit 50, if you look gray, you may start getting targeted for cognitive decline or Parkinson. The kids get targeted for add, adhd, and autism or other behavioral disorders. The moms get looked at for post-natal mental symptoms, and their babies are scrutinized early, too, for autism. Everyone is a target. It has to do with CPT billing codes some of the time. Clinical notes get written. Always check them. It's possible to ask for some changes or corrections through the medical board if the office refuses.
Old ladies are always accused of having "Anxiety."
I went to the ER for heart palpitations. I was 66.
I was dismissed without any explanation. Diagnosis: Anxiety.
@@karenmontague1490My Daughter has racing heart symptoms (120 bpm while sitting in school at age 16). Docs think it's stress and she says she doesn't have any (loves school and people). She's felt it even at younger ages and got an ECG every time. This time we saw a Cardiologist who tested her then advised, "Not enough salt. Try taking salt supplements and eat more salt."
Still can't find a cause but she limits sugar and caffeine now. Her Aunt told us she has low blood pressure so we now think it could be a genetic thing from that side of the family.
@@psiskyam now on my 3rd primary care physician since July of 2022. The first 2 fell under the category being discussed: #1 was egotistical and screwed with my meds with very negative results and insisted his way way right….#2 got annoyed if I asked a question…fired and fired.
I’ll see a new one in September. Fingers crossed. When you are over 65, they tend to either bully you or think you are an idiot.
Yes, happened to me. Not depressed, frustrated and no faith in the medical system. Made mistakes I suffer consequences. Not woe is me.❤😂🎉
Doctors in the norman regional health system almost always gaslight. I'm sick of it. They make me sick.
This happened to me with a botched surgery and now I am partially paralyzed. This man has a heart of gold
God bless you. I myself find it difficult to stop ruminating about the harms done to me, so that it is my default thought. I'm working on it though. I'm so sorry this happened to you.
Not all Dr's are good many wanna milk insurance money for pushing drugs and sugury happened to me
I hope you have obtained an attorney for that botched surgery.
@hayswhite That’s horrifying 😢 I am so very sorry such a terrible thing happened to you. I hope you took legal action against them.
Bless you
I’m so sorry. God heal you.
As an 25+ year RN, I appreciate the experience and thoughtfulness you've given to this topic. The hospitals have so changed over the years, I feel we have lost touch with the ones we are meant to serve - even each other. Thank you Doctor.
Yes , the new age diagnosis is being done by filling out a form . The new doctors are on a computer with their back to you , doing their diagnosis only by test results , not physically examining you .
As a healthcare professional for 20+ years I agree. Everything is different and the care the pts are getting is not the same. The newer fresher pcps seem to defer to specialty anymore, not wanting to be bothered. I blame most of it on hospital administration, they expect so much from all of us and it’s literally impossible to do everything they want us to do daily.
I was amazed one day when a friend of mine told me she fired one of her doctors. I was all, you can do that?! It was a very eye opening moment I had never thought about it in that perspective before. I’d had a CNM that had I realized that it was an option I would’ve told her she was fired because she made me so mad at the time. As it was I just switched CNM’s. We need to realize that WE CAN FIRE DOCTORS too. Obviously they aren’t loosing their job but they are loosing your money. Take the stand and make it clear that you are not happy by telling them they are fired. Don’t pay them to treat you that way.
Wow! You are the first doctor who has talked about this openly, that I know of. In 2017, when taking my elderly father to a hospital he had been to for the same exact thing a year prior I was gaslit, by both his doctor and his nurse who didn't want him in their hospital because he was elderly. It cost him his life. Honestly, it's still so painful I had to stop this video to finish later. This hospital did not coordinate his care with the VA and as far as ethics goes, they threw the Hippocratic Oath out the window. My father died a slow lingering death which caused me to have a complete mental breakdown. I was 46 at the time, I was injured in the line of his care. I knew something called gaslighting existed, but I never had it pulled on me like it was done. I told the doctor he was slurring his words: Doctor:"Oh he sounds the same as he did this morning." Nurse: "Probably the Ambien" I'm like: "He has a spot under his tongue" they force discharge him to a rehab, ignoring my medical proxy. He had a slow painful death, they sent him out with a hematoma and an extreme fall risk in the rain and cold. He fell within 8 hours and ended up in ICU. They sent him home to me with signs of Serotonin Syndrome, unable to breathe, eat, sleep. And after I buried him, I went to Hospital M's clinic and they tried covering over my injuries for 7 months. I finally left. What people must understand, the VA doesn't coordinate care with outside hospitals, not here anyway. And if your parent is elderly, in MA...NO lawyer will take the case because "No future earnings lost"....I was completely devastated and was near suicide. But I had a brilliant psychologist, and after 7 months of further gaslighting I left and got doctors of color, who actually listened to me. That's when the race-based gaslighting started. It's an involved story, but people need to know this. My father's treatment was less about color because he was white, I'm biracial black/white, and his Hospital M. Doctor likewise was African, and VA doctor, Dr. P. (African-American) but his VA doc routinely ignored veteran's direct questions. And I questioned my sanity. These doctors know exactly what they are doing. It wasn't until a few weeks before his death a CNA told me this doctor ignores all the vet questions. To their face. He couldn't swallow prednisone, and pocketed the pills in his throat. I asked for liquid meds and she scoffed at our request. Now this is post chemo, imagine his suffering. Long story short, I sued as a pro se litigant appellant, and they got off due to technicalities. Gaslighting is a shameful practice and should be beneath the medical profession. For the 7 months that followed my initial care, I felt like I was going mad, instead of focusing on my healing, I was trying to prove that I was sick. So in a way, it actually hurts the patient. I took it to the Supreme Court, but ran out of time...and nobody cares for seniors. I spent seven solid years of documenting and fighting, now I'm sending my records to Congress...and I hope to write a book to tell the people what's going on. Gaslighting, in a word is shameful. And because I was devastate, I did not file the appropriate complaint forms within 12 months...so it was all swept under the rug with zero accountability, as if my father a decorated WWII vet, as if he life didn't matter. I was raised to trust doctors, I never felt more betrayed, and to this day, I can't visit my local hospitals. I travel 40 miles to Umass Memorial where the doctors are excellent. The only advice I can give, if a doctor isn't listening you you...leave if it is safe to do so. Edmund J. Janas, II
Earlier this year I developed a life-threatening auto-immune condition, and as I looked back, I thought it may have been triggered by a pneumonia vaccine (less than two weeks prior). I mentioned that idea to my hematologist, who brushed it off, saying there's no research indicating a connection between the two. Months later I talked with an old friend, an immunologist who specializes in vaccines. She said any time I have a concern that a doctor dismisses, I should ask them to document my concern in my chart.
thanks for that idea.
Yes, vaccines can trigger any autoimmune disorder. There is research out there. You just have to dig for it.
i've told them that stuff for ages, 'never heard of it, you are a teaching school - write that down' I have one of those strange immune systems i guess , or no one ever bother to figure out i have Fibromyalgia (which i am diagnosed by a specialist) - i am allergic to alot of mediciations includeing the flu shot. The woman who came to give me my 3rd booster was gonna also give me the flu shot - i said, no , you can't. Since that booster - i now have ME/CFS - so on top of the pain, i can't get out of bed most days . Because i've fallen through such huge cracks when wanting medical care - i haven't phoned my doctor in 2 years. -- what's the point
Good advice!
I don't trust any vax these days; they've been sneaking extra things in them.
1. Have somebody with you. Harder to manipulate two vs one.
2. Have things written down to get a serious response from the
3. Diary at home for objective data
4. Ask Doctor to sit down at your level. Ask to put your clothes on for doctors conversation.
5. Don’t walk away in fear, anxiety or feeling poorly about yourself. Don’t allow yourself to be gaslighted!
Have been taking a notebook with me for years. Doctors do take notice of you taking notes. They also take note when you discuss side effects of meds that you research. One time I gave an oncologist a med journal article and told her to “read this” sternly. She tried to tell me there is no relation between primary immunodeficiency and cancer!!
Thanks doc for the encouragement.
Tried that dident work my moms drove me to Hospital & aunt who actually works at that Hospital stood up for me I still got sent home even though 82 pounds liver damage 2 years later aunt brought me back to hospital I got impatient and got diagnosed with menstrual anemia turned into fully anemia which turned into folate anemia in the doctor had concerned that it turned into Mega blastic anemia and they got my weight up to normal after 3 weeks 2 weeks of IV fluid and my blood levels are almost to normal in 3 weeks my bones weren't growing so the doctor had concerned that I had Mega Blast ignea but no follow-up help can you give me a referral to see a gynecologist and I said I need a referral to see a bone expert and you need to drill into my bone marrow and test me and give me oxygen tank therapy he says I want to keep you taking oral vitamins I said I haven't been taking the oral Vitamins because I'm on a special cancer diet that another doctor put me on cuz I had vasculitis in the breast before and processed food can cause cancer to come back and vasculitis is what you get before it turns to cancer cuz it was like an Ensure and I told him I can't have processed foods cause of my other doctor recommended they just kept putting it on my my food plate and I kept throwing it away cuz I'm not supposed to drink drinking it and he wanted me to take oral vitamins and I said I have irritable bowel syndrome my GI doctor said you're not supposed to take heart pills cuz it can actually make irritable bowel syndrome worse the IV fluid didn't get my bones to grow back so I don't know why he was continuing to try to get me to take a little oral vitamin and I said well the oral vitamin is not working so you need according to protocol you're supposed to try something else and Hydro Barrick tank treatment is the next step and he said they don't have that I found out after I got discharged it was right across the street from the hospital he lied and I asked him to transfer me to another hospital and he refused and they wouldn't give me the appeal number to not get discharged until I sign the discharge paperwork and I tried looking it up and I couldn't find it so that I can get my insurance to cover longer stay in another doctor of mine that I did trust gave me a referral to see hematologist but the hematologist gaslighted me and I asked her is there a alternative test since my bone marrow drilling test won't be covered because my blood levels aren't below 40% and I asked her if there's alternative blood work she can do and she said that there isn't I found out later she lied and and according to further research you can have normal red blood count but have a high reactive protein autoimmune test which mine was really high from another doctor that tested me but they still gaslighted me and that's an indication of an autoimmune attack on the body and they could have done a bone density test after that and I had X-rays showing degenerative bone loss and still gaslighted no treatment given told that all women go through bone loss at age 40 and I'm like yeah but 40 year olds with don't have this much bone loss it's slow bone loss over time and I can't even wear an adult size hat anymore cuz my skull is shrinking and I have the beginning stages of glaucoma cuz my skull is pushing up against my brain and my eyes and I have oval shaped eyes I have to sleep 22 hours a day just to keep my blood levels up and that's not normal for a 40 year old maybe he just lost some weight and that's why your bones are sticking out and I said no it's because my bones are hurting and they're shrinking that's how I know the difference between muscle pain and bone pain
Doctors also Gaslight their patients to purposely make them sicker so they get more appointments out of their patience they also tell them that pharmaceutical drugs are safe when they're not and they try to lie and say herbs don't work even though pharmaceutical drugs have herbal medicine in them like title comes from the bark of a tree but when you process herbs and add chemicals to it causes heinous side effects with long-term use and I found out from a Suquamish tribe chemical specialist that pharmaceutical drugs are purposely bioengineered to have more side effects to get people to take more bioengineered pharmaceutical drugs to help with that part of the pain making doctors more money off of people suffering my counselor told me she was gaslighted by doctors and she researched this they told her that she did not have cancer over the phone and she requested her test results in paper form and it turned out she had full-blown skin cancer I know she got it cuz she had like really huge purple and blue moles all over her body I mean it was obvious there was something serious going on with her skin and they said that they just read the wrong test results but according to her research this happens all the time to patience too often to be an accident and a lot of medical places use third-party businesses that handle the medical documents and they don't always give you all your medical diagnosis and people have trouble getting money from their insurance because of this
RECORD EVERY CONVERSATION both in writing, and on your phone recorder or video. This is really important. Never go to a dr. appt. without recording the convo. (Do it quietly - they don't like it)
@rebeccadirks5385 "1. Have somebody with you. Harder to manipulate two vs one." I realize you're summarizing what's said in the video, but one of the worst appointments I ever had was with a clinical social worker (which still puzzles me because I went in for severe stress, on the verge of mental and emotional breakdown, which I now know was due to my undiagnosed autism -- don't know why they assigned me to a CSW) who verbally and mentally ABUSED me right in front of my husband. I was sobbing and falling apart in the chair and this vicious woman took great delight in berating me and blaming ME for my mother-in-law's psychopathic behavior (only one factor in my stress, which was primarily work-related), when this clinician had never met my MIL nor knew anything about her other than what came up in discussion at this first -- and ONLY -- appointment with her. It's a wonder my mind didn't completely snap, considering the shape I was in at the time. I was literally at my breaking point physically, mentally, and emotionally, and this woman took my descriptions of the stressors I was experiencing and twisted them into the worst gaslighting I've ever experienced, from a medical professional or otherwise. That was a number of years ago and I still struggle with the trauma of it to this day.
Great video. I’ve been gaslit from a few drs. I learned to stop going to them and always left so angry!
I’m going through this now. I recently went in for a small procedure and woke up with a huge screw going from one hip to the other.
I have extreme nerve pain, had to call the hospital to get help, found out my surgeon is no longer with the hospital and the new doctor refuses to believe there is any nerve damage.
I have extreme sciatica, it feels like I have shingles on the ball of my foot and up the side of my calf.
I’ve been battling Leiomyosarcoma and Langerhans Cell Histiocytosis for the last six years. 13 surgeries and 36 rounds of consecutive pelvic radiation.
I’ve had to fight my doctors for all five tumors bc I didn’t look or act sick but was fighting to explain I was dying. Something was terribly wrong with me every time!
I’ve had to fire multiple doctors and I’m now driving four hours away from home to be treated.
Everything has been great until this latest surgery and I’m back to square one with unacceptable behavior and lack of treatment.
For almost 20 years insurance dictated doctors gaslight and humiliated me and called me non compliant when I refused their prescriptions. Autoimmune issues, morgellons, Lyme, leaky gut, biotoxin mold illness. My dr at upstate university hospital in Syracuse New York told me I could not afford the mold treatment because I was on disability and lived well under the poverty level. They sent me home to die a slow death. God put an integrative medicine doctor in my life a few years ago. Makes a huge difference.
My depression left when my doctor listened to me!
Love functional and integrative medicine.
In UK we have NHS Choices. We are allowed to choose which hospital and doctor. Not what our insurance company dictates.
Yes, gaslighting occurs in the US, but happens in single payer countries too. Although much worse in the US. I had a gynaecologist try to slip in a hysterectomy when doing a biopsy on an ovary. Told him I didn't want to be castrated, he kind of blew up at me for saying that. I was an animal science major, I have seen how many nerves, blood vessels and muscles are involved with the uterus. No reason to remove a healthy one on the "suspicion of cancer." 18 years later, still. Have my uterus.
Love this!! I’m glad you pushed through & found a dr to help you! Many of us who are chronically ill, disabled etc experience gas lighting from drs. They get really pissed when we KNOW what they’re doing & confront them on it. I was in medical field for almost 20 yrs. They hate it when we speak their language
Thank for this very relevant video! I recently was in a Pain Management Clinic where I was going to receive a Genicular Block. When the Doctor walked in he said, “Everybody is being mean to me today!” I said why? he said, “Well, since I am a narcissist, I like it when patients say nice things about me.” I realized in that moment, this was not going to work. Guess what, it didn’t. I never went back and won’t go back. I obviously can’t type everything, but any person or doctor who would think that is a funny joke, won’t ever put needles into me again!
Took 27 years to get diagnosed with Ehler’s Danlos in 2020. I had been called a hypochondriac. Although there’s no cure, it is validating to know I knew my body, and I knew there was something wrong.
Same! I was finally diagnosed with EDS at age 52 after a lifetime of symptoms. Have been gaslit by so many docs over so many years. And now, I can’t get any doc anywhere near me to run genetic tests on me and my 2 grown kids to make sure it’s not a rare form of EDS! They all say “Oh, we don’t see EDS patients,” as if we’re toxic or crazy. I’m so sick of modern healthcare!!
I am worried this is undiagnosable. How did they finally diagnose?
Same ❤
@@Andrea_22222 genetic testing. Search for connective tissue genetic panel test
@@rrmother3748 i had to have a friend with me who has Loeys-Dietz Syndrome whose Dad passed away from it at 42 to come with me to my appointment reminding them that EDS and other connective tissue disorders can be fatal and we had to push for the testing. You will likely have to either push very hard, or pay out of pocket privately for a panel test. Good luck 🌹🦓
How refreshing to hear a doctor say these things….its SO HARD to find a good one.
As a late onset type 1 diabetic with gastroparesis and pots I have been fighting the gas lighting for years! It gets so hard to be your own best advocate when you’re tired from first fighting your body 😞
I am 69 and have stood up to 3 doctors who were verbally abusive to me and I would have a anxiety attack. . When I stood up to them they would change their attitude. I have problems with anxiety. I will be darned if I will let someone beat me down for their own ego. Thank you doctor for your help
I'm 80.. Don't feel bad about the verbal abuse. Most of them think they're 'gods'. I know people who have been sexually abused by doctors and a dentist. People need to wake up about the profession...do some research and see how disgusting the 'practice' was a hundred years ago. 🤮,
Same here!
I was gaslighted by my mom's Cardiologist. He never explained why her arm and leg did not work after coming out of the hospital under his care. I read online that if your salt level is low as hers was, and they try to raise it too fast, this is the result. This doctor asked me what I thought happened, as I did not know, he smugly just got up and walked out of the office. Later I learned from my mom's pcp that she was dying. After her seeing both of these doctors for over 30 years, this is how they treated her once they knew she was on her way out. They never offered info on help with her care or what was to come. I went home one night and came back to her house in the morning. She had died of heart failure by herself. My Dad was there but as a narc did not lift a finger to help her. I will hope that those doctors will have to answer to God one day for their actions. They we're out of line and didn't care. It's heartbreaking to me and something I will live with forever.
They will answer to God for their arrogance and evil. I am sorry about your mom.
Sorry for your loss ❤ If arrogant Drs were sued on a regular basis, they might be more respectful.
Thank you for you kind words. It helps soothe the pain. God bless you. ❤️
So sorry for your loss! It’s such a shame the heartlessness of doctors these days. They are like robots. I pray the Lord raises an army of doctors with compassion. 🙏
@@luvmyangels3 I pray the lord raises an army of legal people who’ll take these Drs down. Wonder how many patients go home and off themselves, because they can’t take anymore of the abuse. It should be illegal to treat vulnerable people, looking to them for help and diagnosis, like the excrement dragged in on their shoe! I’m sick of it!
Thank you for this word. I just quit going to doctors, unless I ended up in ER. I recently started taking someone with me. So much better now. I'm sharing this!
As a 50 year old female who was limping on my left leg. I went to two orthopedist, then two neurologists who all told me that I was a lazy walker. Go to physical therapy from each. I did. I worked and worked so hard that I gave myself tarsel tunnel in my foot. I then was having so much back pain from walking unbalanced that I went to a neurosurgeon. In his work up prior to disc surgery he discovered that I only had 10% of my tibial nerve in my gastrocnemius muscle. With a brace I could walk without a limp. I still had to have the back surgery. So all of the pain and sequels was diagnosed as female, 50, and lazy. So I do understand the problem of being gaslit. Thanks for your descriptions.
I have never imagined there was such a warm, transparent and genuine Doctor. Wow, this is truly inspiring!
Yes. I’ve ever only known one eye contact, listening, smiling, patient doctor in my life.
@@Donna-cc1kt Agree. Horror stories are the norm, now.
There are good doctors out there. They are hard to find, though. My problem is when I find a good one, they tend to retire soon after (not because of me, I assure you).
And rare
I'm a Registered Nurse and I cannot speak highly enough about Dr Kaveh. I will be giving his channel a lot of advertising to my friends whether nurses or not. I have never experienced an MD like this. A big factor is that he's into real medicine and not just conventional medicine.
It's refreshing to hear a health care professional address the proper psychological aspects of the industry. This man really cares about patients and is a true professional. Much respect!
Thank you soooo much for mentioning #MECFS and other invisible complex chronic illnesses! It took me 16 years to get a diagnosis, and I still don't have access to a Doctor who is educated about my conditions. With earlier diagnosis and education, I might not have become disabled and homebound in my 40's. Medical gaslighting is trauma and it causes real harm!
It's nice to have a doctor that that's honest and truthful for once