Wow! Nicely said Trevor. This is so very important. I'm also a late diagnosed Autistic Person. One of my cousins told me, "Nah you're not Autistic dude. Your parents would have known." A Mental Health "Professional" also told me to my face, "And whose fault is it that you waited so long to seek a career?" I was stunned that he said that so I I very calmly told him, "It's not a matter of fault and even if it was it does no good to assign blame. Life happens and I'm Autistic dude, so the question is, "What do I do now?" Awesome message! I subscribed!
"I find it hard to believe you have autism" ok? Good thing you're not the one who decides then. I have autism regardless of how it looks to you and you're not a licensed psychiatrist or anything close to that. It's so weird when people say that.
As always…well said Trevor. It gets frustrating when i try to put into my own words… how me and autism function together with society (it hasn’t). Especially when society undermines my experiences that I’ve had to endure since I was a kid. Being late diagnosed means I have my own experiences, my own way of how I managed being autistic, my own stories. Instead of society picking apart something they don’t understand…why don’t they just ask questions? Or give us a chance to have a voice (without condescending comments or questions or judgements). There’s a way to talk to someone and there’s a way not too. Respect goes far for someone that has been batteling ANY mental health illnesses all their life, and shunned into silence by society. After awhile, it truly does turn into avoidance, because it becomes too much to explain to everyone or articulate why I feel the way I do. Or it’s hard to explain why I can’t function, so I just learned to follow everyone else’s cues, and hopefully my square piece will eventually fit into that circle shape. (Which it never did, this turned to failure in my eyes, and I strive to not fail…everyday). I agree with you one hundred percent. I’m glad I’m not the only one out here ❤️🔥
I find that being Autistic means acting in a way that makes everyone mistrust everything I say, including that I have Autism. Our eye contact and other nonverbal communication, except for a few who have actually mastered it, is misinterpreted as signs of lying. And even if you're really good at masking, it doesn't mean your nonverbal is good enough to look truthful when you actually are truthful. I have to wonder how many people are in jails and prisons around the world just because some lawyer or police officer found it easy to blame us for something we didn't do because we appear suspicious.
I think people think they're giving a compliment when they say that. Even though when anyone would think about that a bit longer they should realize that intent has quite the opposite effect. "Hard to believe your existence is entirely weird and bizarre to me"
I got the same thing even tho i was diagnosed as a kid, had speech issues and was in special ed til graduation. However, i have had some severe neurological issues and now with dystonia in my hand causing posturing ppl suddenly believe me and now they assume im not intelligent 🤦♀️ i may struggle speaking and hold my arm funny, but im still smart and can run circles around them in computer programming.
where did you learn computer programming? I've always wanted to learn how to code, but I never get very far. are there any good tutorials for beginners that you'd recommend?
People tell me about my son, "Ohh he doesn't look like he has Autism". I've heard this so many times. I think I had a moment of frustration with the ignorance and out dated stereotypes. So I responded, " He's disabled not ugly." Having a disability doesn't mean you're ugly and it doesn't mean that you can't be good looking". My son is a good looking 5 yr old, he's built like a viking and as tall as an 8 yr old. The most adorable little chiseled features a boy can have. A lot of therapist that work with him, upon meeting him are surprised and tell me how handsome he is with genuine surprise. So to tell you my observations from my personal life and this video popping up. You're extremely good looking with great articulation. The commenter most likely has a stereotype of what a disability looks like and is surprised when you're not what creature her minds eye sees. It's very telling the expectations society has on appearance and the value that's placed on appearance. Especially for those with disabilities. Thus the value we give another person in society, a large majority are of superficial nature. Appearance being one of many. Ignorance will produce back handed compliments. Making advocacy, education and awareness an important role to help shift society to a higher level of compassion.
Pretty privileged is so real I went from 320 lbs to 220 and people were so much kinder an understanding when I was more conventionally attractive and I was also invalidated by everyone just like this
Well, I went from 250 to 150lbs and it made zero difference for me. I had more physical energy that's it. Being "healthy" is overrated, I eat what I want and have a happier life. If that means a shorter life so be it.
I'm unilaterally deaf and get told frequently that I don't 'look' it. Questions and curiosity come with most disabilities, but regardless of how these comments are meant, the assumptions themselves can be invalidating or just rude. There are respectful ways to ask something without making presumptions.
It doesn't show because you put an effort to play a specific role outside home If you really liberate your self people from the outside gonna see alouf blunt rude weird all these labels
Wow! Nicely said Trevor. This is so very important. I'm also a late diagnosed Autistic Person. One of my cousins told me, "Nah you're not Autistic dude. Your parents would have known." A Mental Health "Professional" also told me to my face, "And whose fault is it that you waited so long to seek a career?" I was stunned that he said that so I I very calmly told him, "It's not a matter of fault and even if it was it does no good to assign blame. Life happens and I'm Autistic dude, so the question is, "What do I do now?" Awesome message! I subscribed!
"I find it hard to believe you have autism" ok? Good thing you're not the one who decides then. I have autism regardless of how it looks to you and you're not a licensed psychiatrist or anything close to that. It's so weird when people say that.
As always…well said Trevor. It gets frustrating when i try to put into my own words… how me and autism function together with society (it hasn’t). Especially when society undermines my experiences that I’ve had to endure since I was a kid. Being late diagnosed means I have my own experiences, my own way of how I managed being autistic, my own stories.
Instead of society picking apart something they don’t understand…why don’t they just ask questions? Or give us a chance to have a voice (without condescending comments or questions or judgements). There’s a way to talk to someone and there’s a way not too. Respect goes far for someone that has been batteling ANY mental health illnesses all their life, and shunned into silence by society.
After awhile, it truly does turn into avoidance, because it becomes too much to explain to everyone or articulate why I feel the way I do. Or it’s hard to explain why I can’t function, so I just learned to follow everyone else’s cues, and hopefully my square piece will eventually fit into that circle shape. (Which it never did, this turned to failure in my eyes, and I strive to not fail…everyday).
I agree with you one hundred percent. I’m glad I’m not the only one out here ❤️🔥
Videos like this help me accept myself and have hope eventually more people will accept me
I find that being Autistic means acting in a way that makes everyone mistrust everything I say, including that I have Autism. Our eye contact and other nonverbal communication, except for a few who have actually mastered it, is misinterpreted as signs of lying. And even if you're really good at masking, it doesn't mean your nonverbal is good enough to look truthful when you actually are truthful. I have to wonder how many people are in jails and prisons around the world just because some lawyer or police officer found it easy to blame us for something we didn't do because we appear suspicious.
I think people think they're giving a compliment when they say that.
Even though when anyone would think about that a bit longer they should realize that intent has quite the opposite effect.
"Hard to believe your existence is entirely weird and bizarre to me"
I got the same thing even tho i was diagnosed as a kid, had speech issues and was in special ed til graduation.
However, i have had some severe neurological issues and now with dystonia in my hand causing posturing ppl suddenly believe me and now they assume im not intelligent 🤦♀️ i may struggle speaking and hold my arm funny, but im still smart and can run circles around them in computer programming.
where did you learn computer programming? I've always wanted to learn how to code, but I never get very far. are there any good tutorials for beginners that you'd recommend?
I used Skillcrush which makes it really easy & straightforward to learn some basics
People tell me about my son, "Ohh he doesn't look like he has Autism". I've heard this so many times. I think I had a moment of frustration with the ignorance and out dated stereotypes. So I responded, " He's disabled not ugly." Having a disability doesn't mean you're ugly and it doesn't mean that you can't be good looking".
My son is a good looking 5 yr old, he's built like a viking and as tall as an 8 yr old. The most adorable little chiseled features a boy can have. A lot of therapist that work with him, upon meeting him are surprised and tell me how handsome he is with genuine surprise.
So to tell you my observations from my personal life and this video popping up. You're extremely good looking with great articulation. The commenter most likely has a stereotype of what a disability looks like and is surprised when you're not what creature her minds eye sees. It's very telling the expectations society has on appearance and the value that's placed on appearance. Especially for those with disabilities. Thus the value we give another person in society, a large majority are of superficial nature. Appearance being one of many.
Ignorance will produce back handed compliments. Making advocacy, education and awareness an important role to help shift society to a higher level of compassion.
Yes I've heard that too. Sorry that happened as that can be very hurtful.
Trevor, thank you.
Amazing! Thank you for this validation ❤
Pretty privileged is so real I went from 320 lbs to 220 and people were so much kinder an understanding when I was more conventionally attractive and I was also invalidated by everyone just like this
Good for you for becoming a more healthy person
Well, I went from 250 to 150lbs and it made zero difference for me. I had more physical energy that's it. Being "healthy" is overrated, I eat what I want and have a happier life.
If that means a shorter life so be it.
Trust, but verify.
I prefer to questions to misunderstanding.
I'm unilaterally deaf and get told frequently that I don't 'look' it. Questions and curiosity come with most disabilities, but regardless of how these comments are meant, the assumptions themselves can be invalidating or just rude. There are respectful ways to ask something without making presumptions.
Great explanation
It doesn't show because you put an effort to play a specific role outside home If you really liberate your self people from the outside gonna see alouf blunt rude weird all these labels