Sabine’s sarcasm is everything…. “I've been told I'm rude, arrogant, talk like a robot, am about as empathetic as a brick and similarly spontaneous but considerably less social. I think that’s wrong and I’m really just rude or German, but then I repeat myself.”
@@kylenetherwood8734 that's about the German humour you'd expect. It's very dry often very sarcastic. Sometimes it's so dry other cultures don't even recognise it as humour, which I think is where that stereotype comes from.
There's definitely a fine line between normalization and romanticization, I've found it helpful to not consider my neurodivergent traits "weird" but it also feels odd to call them especially "good", they just are and I'm just me
I absolutely agree. As an autistic person, I feel extremely uncomfortable when someone says autism is a superpower, not a disability. It kind of denies the fact that we have to go through so much struggle, need therapy and guidance to survive in a neurotypical society and it creates the illusion that all autistic people are misunderstood geniuses. Heck, I wish I was. I'm just a regular queer autistic with an average IQ who's lucky enough to have a job. While I don't hate my autism and learned to accept myself, I wouldn't wish others to be born autistic because of what I went through myself. I wish society would stop treating autism as a horrible disease and give us the support we need to become functioning members of society. But nobody should ever wish for being an autistic person either. A disability is never something desirable.
@@NoxAtlas Disabilities are context related, disabilities like autism are not disabilities by themselves but become a disability caused by the environment and social settings. Like no one was ever seen as intellectually disabled before the social settings became universal literacy. It was a change of settings that caused intellectual disability. Covid lock down was a change of social settings and the environment, autistic children excelled when remote learning before returning to schools, and development of things like motor skills rapidly developed. In the settings of lock down the parents were actually thinking they were just seeing things, it's as if their children were not autistic. Each time we change the environment, the social settings or both, who's disabled changes. Neurodiversity advocates say we should not forget about or ignore the positives when trying to help overcome the challenges. It's been discovered that autistic people in general can outperform nonautistic people at the RPMT test, autistic people tend to naturally complete it 40% faster. The difference between the IQ tests and RPMT test is the RPMT test doesn't involve language, it appears language is some kind of barrier for those of us autistic. Even the intellectually disabled who do things like line objects up as an activity outperform nonautistic people.
@@NoxAtlasIt’s only a disability because NT’s treat people who are different than themselves as trash. I’ve found that minimizing contact with NT’s has been very good for my mental health.
As a Dad with a 19 yrs old severely autistic son, what happened to him was the paras in school treated him like a boy who just wasn't trying to apply himself.They were confrontational towards him. Made his life and our life hell, until we realized they were ill-equipped to help him. He dramatically improved once we took him out of that special ed class. Wasted two years of his high school, and did major damage to his development. Don't always trust those who say we know best.
My sister faced the same thing in the 60’s. They didn’t have a name for it back then. She was quiet, thoughtful and highly intelligent and retained information (that interested her specific passion at the time) like no one else could. But they yelled at her, punished her, even spanked her in school, which was allowed back then) to try and push her to integrate better. It crushed her spirit and set her back years. Later she would go on to get two 4 year Bachelor’s degrees in just 5 total years. She still is emotionally about 6 but she can carry a conversation that is within her area of interest with a passionate genius level professor from a nearby university…as long as there is no stress and she doesn’t have to look you in the eye or figure out emotion or humor…. A doctor told my parents all those years ago “If she gets difficult just “tune her up” (meaning corporal punishment and yelling or isolating her and blaming her for her failures). I think how if she was born today what a wonderful life she might have had.
I wish I had someone like you in my life when I was in high school. I had the same situation: "Why don't you apply yourself? You have a gift you shouldn't waste it!" Yeah well, if it was a gift I should be able to return it. I knew more than my teachers about the subjects they were teaching, but I never did any homework so they begrudgingly graduated me with a D average.
I was diagnosed with ADHD and ASD, it's not a gold medal to wear. The truth is we're not all Elon Musk and Einsteins, the majority of us are struggling and not in the way that is cool. Ruined relationships, self harm, aggression (like throwing things, punching walls), obsession that consumes your entire life, coming off too strong in social interaction, poor work life, disorganisation. Dude, this is not sexy or cool at all... why do you want to wear this as a medal? I make minimum wage, I flunked out of college because I was focused on judo, I struggle with managing my finances. I take medications and go to therapy to minimise it and people want to flaunt it????
You grow as a person each time you overcome an obstacle. When life throws more obstacles your way, it's also a chance to grow more. People who wear autism as a medal are people who realized that all of the challenges they had to face made them better in the long run. When you finish a regular marathon, you also get a medal. And you deserve it for all the pain you had to endure to get to the finish line. Finishing marathon is not easy, most people can't do it. No one says our challenges are easy. It's the opposite - our challenges are very real and we are not flaunting them. We are flaunting ourselves because we have to live with them, we walk the harder way and yet we still go forward. Everything bad can be turned into something good. Me being scared so often among people only helped me become brave. There is no bravery without fear. Having few quality relationships just made the ones I have that much stronger. These are just two examples. I would not want to change myself now despite my struggles because I can see they come with the bad as well as with the good. It's just who I am. I hope your therapies will help you see the good side too. The struggles will never disappear but I can learn how to live with them.
@@PeterResponsibleHave you ever read "Candide" by Voltaire? The entire novel is a brilliant, scathing satire of this idea, i.e. "we all live in the best possible of worlds". It's a classic, and I recommend you read it, especially if you don't believe that's what your reasoning ultimately implies. There is way more to life than "growth" or "self-improvement" or whatever. Namely, and central to autism, there are relationships with others. Our society is pathologically obsessed with self-improvement--and the self generally. What good is a self without others? There is having a partner, and children, and a community. Life is short, and if one doesn't make certain milestones with regard to career development, pairing with a spouse, having children, etc., you don't get that time back. From a sociocultural perspective, what good is "self-improvement" if one blows past those milestones in the life cycle? Sure, it can be rewarding. But again: what about the other people in my life. (I am 44, and just found out that I am autistic after a lifetime of people telling me "oh, you are so bright, what's your excuse"?) I do not expect a lifetime without disappointment. And yes, I know there are people who have it worse. But they aren't me. I live my life, not theirs. And the life that I have lived has been one of a fairly attractive, good-willed person who just hasn't been able to navigate the world nor his own life in it to get from point A to point B to point [where most of my peers ar. If it were possible to still make those milestones, it would be easier to be optimistic. People usually respond to this with, "Everyone is unique, don't compare yourself to them." Yeah, that's nice. But when it comes to finding love, family, friends, career--anything beyond myself, self-actualization IN OUR SOCIETY--others are comparing ME to others, too.
@@bsadewitz I'm sorry to hear about your story. I never said it's easy for us, we do have those challenges. Some of us may be challenged so much they will never find what they are longing for the most. That's sad and I only hope you will find at least some part of what you're looking for. Even if some milestones are not reachable anymore. Thank you for the Candide recommendation, looks like an interesting read. I know Voltaire but never read this book. I agree with you that current society is pathologically obsessed with self-improvement. However, I didn't want to imply that all growth is necessary self-improvement. Sometimes growth happens when you realize there's nothing to improve and you accept what is. When you let go. My point was that challenges help us get there. You either self-improve and fix the problem, or you accept that the problem is not fixable - either way you will experience less pain. I guess growth to me just means experiencing less pain but I don't think we can ever get rid of pain completely.
@@PeterResponsible Thanks for your earnest and thoughtful response. Those are rare, especially on these platforms. Having reread (isn't that such an ugly word? Lol. But what else is there, "read again"?) both your post and my own, I came off as more acerbic than I intended--but what else is new? I thought you probably hadn't meant to imply that, so I did try to shift my focus away from you personally at the outset. Regarding the "medal" theme, upon further reflection, I thought, "Wait, I have control over which metaphorical medals I wear, and what they mean! The "neurotypicals" (at least the typical neurotypicals lol) have no compunction about the medals they wear, so why should I? They constructed the elaborate game-theoretic conventions which texture social relations! Who am I to defy them? You guys wanna do it this way? Fine. I'm gonna transmute this albatross you've placed around my neck into gold and then take it to the strip, pawn it, and take the proceeds and invest them into myself." I don't remember what her take was in the video, so the following may not apply to her (but it definitely does apply to SOME scientists with media profiles) but my response would be, "Um, everyone isn't suddenly neurodivergent." Most people aren't, obviously. The normies would consider this "taking language too literally"--as if I can't recognize hyperbole. No, see, that's how rhetoric works: salience, meaning, and spin. They can do it, why can't I? You had the ball, now you pass the ball to me, and now it's my turn, lol. Games. I would tell her that she has fallen victim to the availability heuristic. Being employed in the physical sciences is not an inoculation against it. Moreover, an increase in the frequency of the diagnosis doesn't necessarily mean that the diagnosis is illegitimate or whatever, either: for instance, a dramatic increase in the rate of a certain cancer is sometimes explained by advances in diagnostics! Again, I don't remember what she said, so this may not apply to this case, but it definitely does to others! Anyway, thanks for actually listening to me.
Not long ago, left handed people were ostracized. I'm ambidextrous and was forced to use just my right hand in elementary school. Some of my teachers would literally get pissed off when I'd go lefty. It's interesting observing how perspectives change.
If it was only about left handed. Now its about everyone. Except a few billionaires that are still respected. Only money and power will protect from this modern form of false science in the spirit of medieval religious extremism.
I'm (46) a lefty and so is my mother (74). She was forced (and beaten) to write with her right hand. When I was going to school, she went in to my teachers and had to threaten them if they tried to force me to switch my writing hand.
Me too. I'm 73 and can still learn a new skill (in carpentry, for instance) with either hand. I have always been grateful to the school for forcing me to use both sides of my brain.
@@TheOldFellow That's a terrible take. Anyone can train almost anything with their non dominant hand. People were beaten in school to use their right hand. That's a terrible thing and you are defending it? Nothing wrong with doing it by choice, but to be beaten and forced is an awful thing. Instead of being beaten, you could have just... y'know... used your right hand more. I use my right hand when using a computer because it's more convenient. When I worked in offices, it meant I could write something down while also using the mouse. I put the phone on my right side and answered with my right hand so I could also write when taking IT calls.
I'm autistic and was diagnosed at the age of 27. Since my diagnosis I feel significantly less anxious and more accepting of myself. I'm probably good at masking and that's why most people didn't see it. The more I go into detail of what's going on inside my head and what I actually think and feel however, the more people tend to understand.
How did you go about a diagnoses? Just look up a typical local doctor/psychiatrist on the matter? Or did you go through some alternative third party situation. Trying to get myself a diagnoses but I have just about zero dollars to my name when it comes to paying for those services (if they're too much).
@@halowaffles I'm in Sweden, so I'm sure the process is different here from where you are. I just talked to a doctor about wanting to get tested, and got a referral to the part of psychiatry here that does those types of tests and diagnosis. I have no idea what the cost might be in other countries, but it was free for me.
Being diagnosed at the age of 39 I feel ya. With the small difference that the more I go into detail how my brain works, the more people start to back away from me. ;)
Autism Speaks is criticized for reasons that predate their connection to Google. They have continually treated Autism as though the child is "missing" a crucial piece of themselves and that's why they have the puzzle piece. I think there are better Autism groups to promote but otherwise I appreciate the work you put into this video
@@lisasteel6817 I agree. I'm Autistic as well but I wanted to explain why they're problematic as I get the sense Sabine only has a superficial understanding
it seems like Sabine could use some intel on the social topics that she discusses on this channel. autistic people usually know of Autism Speaks narration’s damaging effect.
I'm not ASD but I have a lot of (online) friends that are. Nearly everyone I know agrees that A.S. is not on the side of the neurodiverse. I haven't been to their website, so it's possible they may have whitewashed in it, but their representatives often use language about finding a "cure" for autism and all their research is aimed at "fixing" the people who exhibit autistic traits. Better organizations focus on fixing society to accommodate people who may be different or on raising awareness and acceptance, which is the better strategy.
I got diagnosed at 24 and have also worked with people with autism (mostly "high functioning"). In my (limited) experience only those who are considered "rude" are able to hold down a regular job for a long period of time . Those who can mask well are generally so anxious and exhausted all the time they have trouble functioning. Masking is such a tiring activity while also so well integrated we can't turn it off anymore. There may be a middle ground, but it seems more like a scale to me. More masking, less energy. I'm not a researcher or a doctor, but I have serious doubts that diagnosing kids at a young age and teaching them to mask better is doing anyone any favors. I'm not against giving children with autism extra assistance, but too many of them seem to focus on "how to appear neurotypical". It's like teaching depressed people how to smile more.
You do have a point and better care and treatment for people with autism should be on the list for things we, as a society, need to invest in. However, simply sweepingly saying "they are fine just as they are" would be even worse and this is what I am increasingly seeing everywhere. To use your analogy, it's like telling a depressed person this is just who they are and they should embrace it. If we can eliminate the causes for autism, we should. If we can treat people who already have it in a way that will improve their lives, it is the humane thing to do IN MY OPINION, even though from a "greater good" perspective keeping these divergencies around is probably beneficial.
@@wellendowedplatypus9024 I definitely think there are forms of education or therapy that are highly beneficial for people with autism, especially those focused on healthy emotion regulation. I'm just saying that trying to mold an autistic person into a neurotypical person socially is in my experience incredibly harmfull. As for a cure, it's a very sensitive topic. I think any form of oral treatment for adults with autism will be hard to find. But if such a cure exists in the future it should be up to the individual if they want to take that cure. Not everyone with autism wants to be "cured", which should be respected as well. Though to artificially manipulate the gene pool to eliminate autism seems really problematic to me. Not a big fan eugenics, personally. In truth, a lot of individuals with autism are struggling and I think both mental and medical treatment are avenues worth exploring. I just think we need to make sure the treatments are actually improving quality of life and not actively harming it. (Apologies if that did not come across in my previous comment.)
Your whole last paragraph is AMAZING. I have felt that very strongly for so long. Instead of societal institutions and infrastructures expecting us to change (at huge expense to our mental health), we need to be understood. So many brilliant minds are being shut out of schools and workplaces because we don’t fit “the norm.”
@@user95395 Come again? I am 40. Laat year I was making 6 figures before I burned out,. I am only recently diagnosed. I extremely worried about being homeless soon but I can't bring myself to find work. I know something is wrong but no idea what to do. Fuuuuuuck.
As someone who clicked on this video with the question “is there a difference between being on the spectrum and just being socially awkward?” in my head, I found this really helpful. Thanks!
I read somewhere that symptoms between social anxiety and autism for example may be similar, but the root cause is different. Like the cultural ommunity I grew up in was very judgemental and focused on social hierarchy, to where it wasn't a fear of being judged because you knew for a fact you were being judged because you were doing it too. My husband misses a lot of social cues so he struggles through conversation and just struggles with a laundry list of things in general Definitely an interesting question though
its more apprent to massively inpoactful moody events. such as a loss of life, a marraigem, a baby birth, birthdays, etc. that's the type of stuff where an apathetic response almost assures it's not just being socially awkward. shyness is a huge part of it
This is an important thought, because societal-norm gaslighting can lead to healthy people believing they are unhealthy, so if you are surrounded by psychologically projecting fools, you might believe the majority-imposed belief systems about yourself. And even if you are aware of that, that could imply you are very observant and thus ponderous and caring, so that could then trigger unjustified self-doubt in you. The result is that for example an emotionally cold or just cruelly unrealized-selfish social environment can make an emotionally healthy person become a social recluse. Furthermore, there is a memorable scene from Beautiful Mind that probably flew over many people's heads regarding its implications and the topic of autism: He tried to pick up a woman at a bar, but not really. He used a very blunt approach and got slapped for it, and that amused him. The point there is that he wasn't socially inept and unable to take a skillful approach, but he understood all too well the silly pretend games and formal ritualisms normalized in society to - ironically - manage fear in social interaction, and chose to toy with people's inability to handle a more overt and sincere expression. So basically, you can become a recluse either when you can't understand people or when you understand them too well, arguably better than they understand themselves, or at least better than they want to accept they understand themselves.
I was gaslit all my years to believe there’s nothing wrong with me when there clearly was. Because I “look” and “seem” normal. Now in the process of getting an ASD diagnosis after a massive meltdown and I’ve jumped from therapist to therapist until my current one noticed the signs right away because she works a lot with ASD people. She was the first to take me seriously and not push my symptoms to anxiety, depression and such. I even told a previous screening therapist that I suspected I have ASD but she brushed it off, whilst my current noticed it within the first 5 minutes of talking to me and helped me with the referral. Just because people seem normal, doesn’t change the internal struggles we face every single day.
This is my 1st ever comment after years reding others online. Your experience spoke to me. I realised my diagnosis 10years ago, whilst researching the subject on behalf of my diagnosed son, nephew & niece. I remain un-diagnosed because in Australia it costs $1800 in the private sector, unless it is picked up at school as a child. Even though I have had Community Mental Health help for years, am now on Dissability Pension for mental health issues & recently received funding through National Disability Insurance Scheme, I still may not use my psychiatric part of funding component for diagnosis... Doctors keep saying "Why do you need diagnosis, it won't change anything?" is SO FRUSTRATING. Without diagnosis, if you don't know me I can pass as "normal", without diagnosis I can't claim to have it without feeling like one of those fashion people jumping on the bandwagon & people think I'm full of it, just what socially awkward woman with anxiety & depression needs!
Aravis, From my view, saying there's something "wrong" with you is not the right way to put it's ableism. There's nothing "wrong" with you, you have biological differences that cause difficulties and make you struggle with certain things.
With no cure and limited treatment options... why bother seeking out a diagnosis late in life if you "know" your limitations, what works for you already?
@@danielmoore4024 saying there is nothing wrong with it is dismissive. If having autism meant there was nothing wrong with me I wouldn't struggle socially or get stressed over stupid shit like not having my hairbrush on my desk during the day and under my pillow at night. When a biological difference causes difficulties for an organism then there is something wrong with it especially when it regards some of the most defining features of that organism in my case that being my social skills among other issues.
Speaking for myself, I did not "suddenly" become Autistic. I was Autistic for 58 years before I was diagnosed. As were others. As were many in the past who died without knowing why they felt like such a freak. New knowledge is a great thing. Knowing I'm Autistic has given me so much closure regarding the trauma of my life.
Everyone can be diagnosed with some form of neurodivergence. Take Synesthesia. While there are extreme cases, _all_ people have some overlapping of senses. It why we describe certain sounds as "sharp" colors as "loud"etc. The reality is if nobody could tell for 58 years, you're probably normal and should be skeptical. Ask who benefits from your "diagnosis".
Those who say autism is worn as a medal didn't experience the bullying, the constant self criticism and the constant efforts to be normal always ending in frustration and the consequent self hate. It's not a medal it's an explanation that brings clarity and self compassion.
It's a medal in the same way a scar is it took lots of pain to make and probably a lot more to be willing to show and thats exactly why it should be celebrated
Sorry to hear you went through that but I think the medal wearing reference are to the tiktokkers and such that have latched on to this as a new way of expressing some kind of individualism, thus setting them apart from everyone else and making themselves feel special or unique.
the amount of bullying i got in highschool and middle school was the worst, literally everyone hated me, i was known as the "autistic depressed guy with the long hair", in fact people hated me so much that i was swatted, my depression got so bad i had to drop out of highschool, and now 8 years later i still wonder when the police will show up at my door at 5am again
I wish i could have seen this episode four years ago. My wife is undiagnosed but is certainly on the spectrum. It took me some time to put it together and I feel bad about how hard things were when they didn't need to be. At the time I thought she was the problem... I now know that my misunderstanding of her masking or mimicking was the impetus of our difficulties. Her answers were an approximation of what she thought "regular people" would say or wanted to hear. I thought she was mocking me, and I would get sooo frustrated. We now both know how to make sure the other understands exactly what they need to understand. I'm so glad we made it out the other side, she has made my life so much more interesting and full I can't imagine living without her.
I'm glad you figured it out. When I start to feel safe with someone, I am known to ask them "Is this how normal people talk?" Because I just don't KNOW. The only time I got along with the other women at work, is when I was forced to p!an a big wedding. I Just wanted to go to city hall. What are your colors? Are you going to get your nails done? How are you going to wear your hair? Ugh. I don't CARE!!! I managed to avoid all the dances and proms , and a big wedding HE wanted was like a prom on steroids with people staring at me. It was so awkward. And then he didn't even dance with me after that first time. It was apparently HIS special day, he was the little princess, Belle of the ball. We're not together anymore. I actually wanted to call it off that day.
I bet your wife has a "hyper masculinized" face and a very deep dark voice. I heard autistic females have hyper masculinized faces and more testosterone than neurotypical women probably because of prenatal testosterone they were exposed to in the wombw
@@jeffstewart3860 seems like most of her talks are focused on children getting help. But there are so many undiagnosed or self diagnosed adults into their 80's even just figuring it out.
"Her answers were an approximation of what she thought "regular people" would say or wanted to hear. I thought she was mocking me" - I don't know what you're talking about here. What was she saying? What was wrong with it? Some examples would help a lot.
I remember a lot of the problem us folks on the spectrum have with Autism Speaks is that they don't exactly have a sterling record, namely that they made a number of productions in the past which mainly went out of their way to paint us as a burden on everyone else, as well as them (at least at one point) advocating to a full-blown cure to Autism as if it were cancer. This struck a nerve with a lot of people because to them, this was AS seeing them as a problem to be fixed rather than different people to be helped and welcomed.
Yup. Autism Speaks against those who support the extermination of people with autism 🤷♀️ like the non-autistic-lead "Autism Speaks". Frankly it shouldn't be legal for them to call themselves that. It's really "Neurotipical WASPS speak about how they would replace their kid if they could*
1. Many autistics see their autism as something fundamental to their personality/identity/existence, such that without it they would be someone else. This would make A$'s cure narrative unattractive to them. Imagine a charity that intends to improve the lives of gay people through discovering an actually effective conversion therapy. 2. Some of the research A$ funds is about prenatal detection. There is no reason for this from the perspective of treating existing autistics, only preventing new ones. 3. A$ focuses on the impacts of Autism on families and caretakers. This dehumanizes and infantilizes the actual autistics by removing their experiences from the equation and putting focus on them as eternal children to be taken care of.
They haven’t stopped, although it’s moved from “we’ll fix living people’s brains” to “we’ll prevent you from existing”. Autism Speaks has merged with at least three other “charities”/research organisations that have the goal of eradicating autism through research into genes that can be tested for in utero. Like many foreign countries have tried to eliminate Down Syndrome, they plan to promote tests during pregnancy that have percentage indicators for autistic traits (there’s practically no way to test only for diagnosable autism before you can interact with the testee), and if the value is over some arbitrary number they’ll recommend abortion. If you’ve followed along, congrats. Yes, they are doing eugenics on autism and the breadth of autistic traits. No, it is not broadly illegal. Even in some places with very tight abortion restrictions, they allow for this sort of thing even into late pregnancy. Many proponents of this form of eugenics will use the necessary rights to abortion and the idea that autism is only suffering that needs to end to argue for this. They ignore acceptance of adults largely because they just ignore us altogether. It’s presumed that this would be the parents’ choice. Except it isn’t, because you don’t get to choose who your kid is. We don’t have very good guesses about who will be a net positive or negative for society, and there’s no way to know whether your child will require your permanent care. As a parent, you only really have the right to bring children into the world in exchange for the responsibility to make sure they’re taken care of. Anyways, Autism Speaks should redirect what it wants to do to us onto itself and terminate.
@joaquin5796 The point was that advocacy for a cure makes it seem as though autistic folks in and of themselves are a problem to be removed, instead of just trying to provide accommodations to them to help them still live their best lives. A lot of people on the spectrum see cure talks as other people hating what is an inherent part of who they are.
I actually have spent a lot of time thinking about the topic of being german or autistic .. I know it was a joke, but seriously there is a social/cultural aspect of autism that makes it easier for autistic people to fit into a specific cultural context. For example, german people are said to be more bold, even rude, direct and say what they mean (especially people in the north). Theyre said to rely less on social cues and implied requests and respond more to direct suggestions and say what they want. A typical example is how it is considered polite in some countries to reject an offer a few times before you accept it. Like being asked "Do you want a piece of cake?". Germans are generally more likely to just answer the question. That doesnt mean all germans are like that, but its just more common here than in other parts of the world. I haven't come to any conclusion on what that means though. Are some germans more autistic? Or do we just respond better to autistic needs? Would it be possible, since autism also has a genetic component, for some regions to have a higher prevalence with people on the spectrum, but less diagnosis because its easier for autistic people to fit in? I think about this a lot.
This doesn’t really make mucv sense when you look at how important conformity and social protocol is in Germany. If anything, autistic people suffer more in Germany because the school system does not largely undersdd to anc neurodiversity.
@@sfmikiYes but when the whole country is neuro-divergent, conformity would be being neuro-divergent. It would be the true neuro-typicals who would stick out like a sore thumb in Germany.
@@gg.6633 perhaps, but then judging from what I’ve seen, Germany is not quite on the spectrum. They like their comfort clothes, but their executive function issues are intact, they simultaneously appreciate the literal and contextual meaning of things, and they are outwardly directed quite often. Some character traits are quirky, but for the most part, quite neurotypical.
As a female probably high-func autist that grew up and still lives in Germany, I can tell you "No" it is not easier. If you don't act stereotypically to your social group enough, they will segregate you and bully the shit out of you.
I doubt my son will be able to live independently. It’s possible he’s slowly learning how to talk. He has a vocabulary based off his ability to understand us and he knows his abc’s an so far we know he can count to 20. Like me he has a very good sense of direction and if he could drive at 4 years old he go to his favorite park. I couldn’t live life without him. The major issues he has is with transition. He becomes very angry and destructive and although this has gotten better, he used to self harm and when he is very upset he will lash out physically if you are to close. Before I started using a wagon to transport him from the park to home it looked like I was kidnapping him on the way to the car because he would be fighting me like hard. Something that frustrates me deeply is that in order for him to function in this society to the extent that he can he needs a lot of therapy. Getting his diagnosis was extremely difficult and took 2 years. A lot of people push back against therapy saying that it teaches compliance which bad. But what the fuck else am I supposed to do.
We all have to be compliant hey. There have to be some sort of boundaries around behaviours. It would be poor parenting if you don't support behaviour modification. If it isn't done, as an adult he'll end up in a group home, half-stoned with medications, wearing an incontinence pad and stimming in a corner without any independence. Your fight is to make him into someone that others are happy enough to be around and as independent as he can be. All the best Elias.
I was diagnosed at age 23. I'm 25 now. When getting diagnosed, my reaction was, "Oh, that makes sense". It also really helped me put things together and more effectively navigate matters.
I’m very sorry to ask but I’m desperate, my fiancé is diagnosed ADHD but we’ve suspect he’s been missed diagnosed. His doctor says they don’t diagnose autistic adults only children, any nonprofit charities we reach out to for autism say they can’t help us without a diagnosis from his doctor. He is 23, we are at a loss, please any advice to help him I would be greatly appreciate. He spoke to his mom and she confessed she’s suspected since he was a child but never pursued a diagnosis, which was a shock. We don’t know how to help him but he struggles so much and needs help. I apologize if I came off as rude and for asking something so personal. I just want to help my loved one. We live in the US.
@@animefreak1149 what do you need help with? He managed to get engaged to you so that means he's high functioning. The only advice I can give is don't treat him different, think of him as an introvert, don't patronize him, help him in situations where he is stuck and can't figure it out, he may get cranky for things and lash out just give him some time and he will be ok and don't ever put him in the spotlight especially in crowded places. I was diagnosed when I was 10, I cried when my father told me and he asked if I wanted to be normal, I said yes and he treated me normal and never told anyone, people just taught I was shy and introverted growing up. We only want to be treated normal that's all.
@@animefreak1149 I don't know what country you're in, but adult diagnosis is a possibility in a lot of places. Where I live it's definitely an option, but also a lot of doctors are working with outdated information so they might give incorrect answers (e.g. for a long time you couldn't be diagnosed with both ADHD and ASD, and that's changed now but not everyone knows it). It might be worth speaking to a different doctor, or looking up adult diagnosis in your country. If there is a good online support group for your area, they might have more information.
If anything, it helps that you know for sure that you are clinically diagnosed. Because then you're aware of your brain's inherent shortcoming, so you can take sure steps to mitigate what your brain just isn't good at doing at. Better know that your brain simply is undertuned for one specific part of your social life and take alternative measures, than try to fight against that shortcoming.
Sabine belatedly finding out she might possibly be autistic in the process of researching a video about autism is HIGHLY relatable. 🤣 For me it was looking up articles to figure out how to be a better friend to my several friends who are officially diagnosed, reading over the descriptions of symptoms and going "WAIT A MINUTE"
I heard the symptoms, I heard the accent, I heard the humor, that’s definitely symptoms of being german… and then she outright says it, funniest crap I’ve ever heard.
We have ideas about everything and ideas about autism describe some experiences that differ from "normal life", while our own experiences of life create our understanding of "normal life". Like, if we read that autistic people struggle while communicating with others we assume they struggle more than us, we start with our "normal" experience of communication and imagine additional struggle on top of that. Or we read about masking and we don't see how our neutral face and stilted humor are masking, instead we assume everything we do as normal and imagine masking as some additional and probably consious fakery on top of that
As a person who is not on Twitter I wanna say: I think you might wanna dive deeper into Autism Speaks before saying it's harmless. Sure, the fear-mongering ads you could shrug off as just bad PR, but one of the co-founders, Bob Wright, has on multiple occasions expressed his doubt on whether autism may be caused by vaccines. All in all, this "foundation" is more interested in giving the parents of autism a platform, rather than autistic people themselves. Which would not be such a big problem if they 1. didn't claim to do otherwise, and 2. didn't fearmonger about autism as if it destroys everything around it, quote: "faster than pediatric AIDS, diabetes and cancer combined". Yes, that is a direct quote from an Autism Speaks promo video, word for word.
I was honestly surprised to hear her say that being against autism speaks is only part of a minority group on twitter. I felt like it was almost unanimous online that the autistic community disliked them. In my experience even before I realized I was autistic, even I knew about autism speak's terrible rep.
So what if autism is caused by vaccines? It's not impossible, and if there WOULD be evidence to support that claim it would be a perfectly reasonable position. Vaccines aren't some kind of magically perfect drug. I don't believe it's true, but it's not impossible. (also, pharmaceutical companies are litteraly sociopathic entities that are absolutely capable of doing all they can to deny such claims even if they knew them to be true)
@@hazelnuiitYeah, but it's easy to get carried away with the significance of "unanimous online". Believe it or not, most people still live in the real world! Not everyone is a forum-dweller, and many have no idea these "takes" even exist.
Wonderful to find your videos, I am going through them like I found a wellspring in a desert. Thank you, keep these coming. The reason I am here is I am 'neurotypical' and just discovered my wife is 'neurodivergent'. I believe this 'mismatch' has caused all the issues in a troubled but otherwise livable arrangement. I have found no really instructive information for our situation, most videos I have found are 'autistic husband with a neurotypical, but helpful wife'. Nowhere can I find help for me, to easily understand and live with her ways. I have found that autistic women are completely different creatures from other women, my late wife was incredibly dyslexic, but that is a world away from autism, and I've had never any tools to help with this. Just discovering she is autistic helped me decide not to leave her, as I was ready to do. I see only now what a huge mistake that would have been, but she was absolutely driving this neurotypical man bonkers. I will continue to search, as nothing in our world allows her to be 'normal' until we all change our views. Again, thank you.
I’m autistic, as independently diagnosed by four Ph.Ds over twenty-five years. I’m 40 years old. The best book I’ve read on this question is Nick Walker’s “Neuroqueer Heresies.” There are so many nuanced co-diagnoses that interact with Autism. These can include ADHD, CPTSD, Sensory Processing Disorder, Depersonalization/Derealization Disorder, Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder, Pathological Demand Avoidance, Dyspraxia, Misophonia, Hyperacusis and Selective Mutism. Those are just some of MY co-diagnoses.
Iconic inspiration. I myself have been diagnosed twice, once at 2-3, then again at 11. I see you on Tracey Marks' channel too, and on lefttube related content. Just wanted to say it's cool that your viral moment was a song about race inequality and that message was able to reach so many people, you've inspired a whole generation.
Yeah man. Neuro things are real complicated. I'm about to get SSA disability for depression and anxiety. I'm not autistic but I can really empathize with anyone that struggles with neurodivergence or mental illness. We all have a lot in common.
I have autistic traits: introversion, special interests, difficulty with eye contact. I am NOT autistic. I was professionally evaluated. I understand social situations, they just scare me. Because of my horrible social anxiety. I don’t stim. Alternatively, my best friend has autism and he stims all the time and is often zoning out into his “own world” but he’s tremendously smart and very fun to talk to. So…yeah. I think people use the autism word because they relate to some of the similarities like I have. But it’s a different mechanism. I think people self diagnose a lot and it’s easier to understand “autistic” when people explain their oddities.
@@nataliemadison-rascoe278 Thanks. No, I just think certain traits of autism can be shared amongst people who are on the spectrum and those who are not. I suppose it could be judged because it’s seen as a spectrum disorder so if I do have it mine shows up “milder.” I suppose because I have other mental health issues that I am still technically neurodivergent but my oddities come from a different source.
also, to my knowledge, autistic girls tend to have a better grasp of social situations. it's actually one of the key reasons why for the longest time, and still to this day, autism has been widely under diagnosed in girls
I think I don't understand them. Or well I should say I believe(d) I understand what's going on but as I get older I'm repeatedly faced with the fact that I have been misinterpreting, badly, what is happening with people all the time, and I don't know much about anyone due to not being able to see the line between irony and not irony. I'm smart. I'm a really good imitator also, so I think I basically faked my way through most social things my whole life. I remember thinking that I didn't know why I was saying or doing things all the time, just that it seemed like that was what was expected. And the responses people had were generally favorable so I picked people to emulate and got by on that skill. Edit: I really have to stop commenting before I watch the video. She names this skill: masking So my point is that I am very, very good at masking. My memory is turbo, so I can remember things I've seen or experienced on some level way back in time.
At school during the 1960s, I was called lazy. Once, when I did (very) good work, I was asked "who wrote this?" When I answered that I did, I was told "you couldn't have". Then my mother took me to do an IQ test, and they simply refused to believe the result. Saying that I still feel bitter about this after 55 years is a colossal understatement.
I always paid attention to my lessons in school, which was reflected in my grades, yet my third-grade teacher kept accusing me of "daydreaming," a word I didn't know. I suppose this was because I wasn't making eye contact with her, which at the time it would have not even occurred to me to do.
"You couldn't have" Ignorant people denying your own abilities. I have a similar experiences during childhood, thankfully my parents knew my abilities quite well. (Especially if I had to fix the TV & VCR setup in the early 1990s)😅
I am 46. I have been diagnosed with aspergers/autism when I was 33. I wish the understanding we have about it today was the same when I was a kid. My teachers and parents used to scream at me, even hit me when I couldn't concentrate on my studies, class or church. Unfortunately today people use it as tiktok trend, but I am glad and jealous of kids today who can get help with their autism, those who actually have it
I've worked with kids with level 3 (and some 2) autism, and working together to develop language through play. I only work through a play approach - we only "work" if/when the kids are interested and enjoy the activity. When we play therapeutic games, learn supportive symbols, gestures and hand signs, a lot of neurotypical kids join in of their own volition because it's fun. Teaching peers (also through play) to understand and respond is a huge part of my job and creates integration. Helping diagnosed kids communicate their wants, needs and feelings to peers and adults helps quality of life. Helping parents and other teachers tailor the home/class environment and routines to fit the kids is also essential. Yet a few self-diagnosed young adults of tiktok age tell me that ANY intervention is "torturing children". They have well organised activist groups at University. As Sabine remarks, they are unlikely to have experienced ASD as debilitating in the same way as someone who has no language. One of the activist arguments is "therapy forces children to stop stimming, which is torture". I've also noticed a drop in the amount of stimming kids do after therapy, but I ofcourse would never prevent a kid from stimming. Stimming often seems to be a way to deal with distress, discomfort, boredom etc. For me it seems kids don't have to self-sooth and stim as frequently when there are fewer triggers for anxiety and discomfort. When you can communicate what you prefer, you don't have to self soothe because your needs aren't met. When the environment and people around you are atuned and can anticipate your needs and avoid triggers, you also experience less stress and stim less. The black and white thinking that intervention is torture is harmful to kids, their families and care providers.
Something I highly recomend to fellow autists is supplementung L dopa and tyrosine. Basically doing the opposite or risperdol(sp?). It makes it easier to tolerate adverse conditions. I can also spike levels to maximize productivity. Only thing is its 6months on 1 month off. That 1 month can really suck.
It sounds like you're doing great work! Most autistic people are parimarily against ABA therapy which though it can sometimes be applied in a beneficial way, in most cases is essentially dog training undesirable behaviors out of kids (and desirable behaviors into them) without trying to understand or address the root cause. I've never met anyone who's opposed to any intervention at all, and certainly never met anyone who thinks nonverbal people shouldn't be taught how to communicate.
Nosoboko, The only intervention we are against is behaviourism which is what ABA is entirely based upon. We’re not the only ones against behaviourism, the science community in general are against ABA and claim it’s nonsense and abusive by only caring about the surface ignoring everything happening under the surface abusing the nervous system. I have never seen autistic people oppose Floortime, SCERTS, TEACCH, Occupational Therapy, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Speech Pathology, Music Therapy and tonnes more that are not based on behaviourism that was already out of date in 1940 and ABA was not founded until 1961 by Ole Ivar Lovaas and John Watson, you never like to tell us about those two cruel racists your work is founded on do you? Just how hateful must ABA’s grandfather John Watson of been to be arrested twice during his youth for assaulting black people in California? ABA is disgusting and nonsense, if ABA actually cared about the children you would listen to scientists and our testimonials of just how harmful and abusive behaviourism is, you would then abandon behaviourism and adopt and insure the healthier more humane interventions like DIR Floortime giving parents better options as we have been demanding. Don’t falsely accuse us again, none of us are against interventions to help and support, we are sick and tired of all the abuse from ABA therapists.
Life in general is stressful, so i won't ever stop stimming, and i don't only stim when stressed, I always! stim, i stim when i'm happy, because that is my primarily way of expressing joy, hand flapping, jumping or rocking side to side or whatever, body movements are my primarily way of communicating, really, that's an important thing to learn about autists...
I often ponder about this question. The answer I've come to is, we've always been here. In the past, only severe cases were considered but as knowledge grows about mental conditions, the easier it is to spot those who are neurodivergent but are able to mask.
Also consider the world we live in now, with ever increasing stimuli. At the same time you have to make so many more choices. Society has changed to where we are always seeing and hearing new things and people. Now consider past societies: You usually lived around fewer people, had far less audiovisual stimuli. You wouldnt have to choose between 1000's of jobs to find what fits you. Most often you grabbed what was available, or followed traditions. You could not go to a supermarket, where you have to decide which of the 1000's of products you wanted. Etc. If people with asd were around in the same percentages back then, many of the less blatant cases might not have trouble living their lives relatively normally.
My sister was telling me about a theory that stuff like monasteries and convents may have been largely formed and populated by autistic people. Just this specific niche of a lifestyle where people could shut themselves away from society when they felt like they needed to, and would dedicate themselves to a highly specialized discipline like studying and preserving knowledge or training martial arts. It makes a lot of sense to me, and I'd say it's a pretty cool picture of what people can do if we respect and accommodate their differences and treat them with dignity and respect, instead of acting like they're broken if they don't fit in with everyone else.
The problem is though what is considered a mental illness is becoming extremely vague and meaningless. We are probably a single generation away from calling being gay a mental illness again but this time for (in bold rainbow font) *inclusion* instead of hate. Horse shoe theory is more of a observed fact than it is a theory
Nah, it's just now every poorly-parented little snowflake with a conduct or personality disorder gets a parent-requested sparkly star crown that says "ASD" and have to be treated as special, instead of taught to behave. Sorry but if 10% of your population is diagnosed ASD, you have rampant over-diagnosis at the behest of bad parents.
@@KoosFramboos Wow...this is a GREAT point. Like the band Devo said, back in the 80’s, “Freedom from choice is what you want. Freedom of choice is what you got.” I never really thought about it before, but the lead singer Mark Mothersbaugh is likely on the spectrum.
the part about autism speaks was rather strange i think, the opinion that it's a bad organisation is really quite widespread amongst actual autistic people, not a fringe group of extremists like you say, of course the label of hate group isn't as common, but the organisation does not have a good or even neutral representation amongst autistic people
Yes, this part seems very poorly researched. Autism Speaks has redacted a lot of their bad history, but many of us still remember the statements they've made, the organisations that they've absorbed, the adverts they released, etc., which they currently disavow even while continuing to do the same things they always have done. The coverage they get in this video looks like a quick skim of their website without any investigation into their history. That's kind of irresponsible.
As an autistic person, I thank you for the humour, investigation and general tone. I hoped you talked about ABA therapies (Autism Speaks promotes those kind of approaches) that are aimed to eliminate stimming and "normalize" children with the goal of adapting them to society. That's the basic claim against Autism Speaks, ABA is torture and no one should be forced to stop what regulates and helps to manages their anxiety. On the other hand, as an activist, the most common feedback I get is "you don't look autistic" and "stop romanticizing autism, that's not it", etc So, I'm dealing everyday with a society that not only didn't have a clue about how I (or my brain) was: it managed to segregate me, leave me with no information or tools to know myself and make me live and suffer in silence alone, as it did with SO many others. And now, after more than 30 years of living undiagnosed, I guess we're a bit fed up with people that, again, deny and silence us and tell us how to cope and manage the way we express and try to help others. Because, in most cases, adult autistic people that are comunicating their experiences and knowlede, are not profiting on it. I don't make any money and try to speak up because, five years ago, listening to an autistic woman helped me find the right perspective and saved me. ¡Abrazo from Argentina!
Pd Sabine está re mal informada, cree y se come el cuento de que Autism speaks es una organización benefica e invisibiliza las críticas diciendo que "son un par de gente de Twitter" cuando esto no es así para nada. Le falta educarse mucho se ve. Y escuchar a activistas, académicos, filósofos científicos, profesionales de la salud que son autistas. Dejé un artículo de Chapman pero dudo que lo vaya a lee.
Your message implies that you must often bring up the fact you're autistic if you have people telling you you don't look autistic..why? There's nothing weird about autism. No reason to draw attention to it
This and this is also a reason that many autistic People don't like Autism Speaks. This group promotes ABA. And ABA is as much a valid Therapie as homeopathy is a valid treatment for anything. Not at all.
@@tonyvelasquez6776 Telling people I'm autistic is one of the first things I tell people about myself to reduce all the stigma and stereotypes. The stereotypes have given people an impression they know what autism looks like, by I telling them I'm autistic it increases the awareness that every autistic person is affected variously, like through me they can see not all autistic people don't want to make eye contact, they know not all autistic people are introverted, they come to know we don't lack empathy etc... Letting people see an autistic person off of the mass media helps them to stop having one out of two impressions. 1) Autistic people are like Einstein 2) Autistic people can't do anything by themselves When they're aware I'm autistic they know most autistic people are in between those two stereotypes.
I was diagnosed with autism when I was in elementary school and went through half a decade of behavioral classes. Through these classes I came to realize that, while I can mask my autistic traits, doing so is quite tiring. As a result, I prefer to just freely be myself and live as some random guy that's smart, weird, and weirdly smart. Then, because the people I work with understand my limitations, when we need to talk to someone one on one, they do it for me. Instead delegating me tasks which I am far more suited for. You need a circuit? Ask ash. You need a program? Ask ash. Need help with a design? Ask ash. You need to ask someone where the bathroom is? Don't ask ash.
I’m hoping I can find a job that allows me to be myself more, I’m currently working as kitchen staff for a pub/restaurant and I always feel bad when I need to run food and someone stops me to ask something since I always feel awkward and struggle communicating when things are loud and busy. It’s definitely helping improve my social skills over time but I also hate having to act “normal” for people who have no way of knowing I’m autistic at a first glance because any slight hiccup in my performance gives off the impression that I’m just a weirdo. I guess it also helps me with not caring what people think about me, but I can’t afford to completely disregard that because I represent my workplace and I don’t wanna be fired if someone complains about my lack of social skills or something I overlook whilst talking with them. I wonder if there’s any merits to masking or if it’s just overall a detrimental thing for mental/physical health
@@WastePlace Hey man, I've found that the service industry is pretty difficult for people like us, so good on you for the success you've seen thus far :) I worked as a customer service representative at Sam's Club for a bit (focused on Club Pickup), and absolutely hated it. I ended up quitting after 1 year, and began delving into STEM. Still, if being in the service industry is causing you stress, then if you have the aptitude and time, I'd recommend trying to go for a STEM related field instead. If you can't get a degree for one reason of another, there are some quick training programs you could complete to begin a STEM career. If you don't have the time or aptitude for STEM, would you consider a quieter job like, for an example, sanitation?
Exactly this for me too. For me, I “know” how to become a normal human being; I just don’t feel like. Because that to me apparently means I’m somewhat careless of what I say & do. For instance, I go to a very competitive private school and people always talk about and compare academic scores. While I fit quite well in terms of performance and was doing perfectly fine being friends with some people for a short while, but I soon became sick of the toxic behaviour as it made me feel pretty bad about myself, and now I’m alone, but a lot happier. People always associate autism as a negative thing, but all it means is that you view the world in a different way. Autism or showing autistic traits isn’t something anyone should be ashamed of.
@@DuskfoxOfficial Yeah, being able to fit into society is even used as a metric for how, "functioning" someone is. But, that's not who we are. We are the kind of people that, when given the chance, will traverse a path which occurs to very few. I mean, I didn't get onto my company's board of directors by being, "normal". I did it by committing to a bad idea so hard that it eventually became a good idea. As for your classmates, I've met a lot of people like that over the years (I'm pretty young), and, well... it rarely ends well... As an example, in college there was a person whom decided to compete with me in everything. Long story short, I didn't really give it any mind. Yet, he'd often lose. This drove him mad, but as time went on and other people refused to humor him, he found himself completely alone. I hope that he's become less competitive and is willing to have an actual friendship, but the last I heard he was stalking a girl I went on a date with. Point is, people like your classmates can be terrible kids, and annoying adults. So, distancing yourself might be a great call. However, don't let that stop you from reaching out to people that aren't a-holes. I mean, even us autistic freaks need a friend or two, don't we?
"I'm not autistic, I'm just German" is simulataneously the funniest and most depressing thing I've heard in a while. I swear a little part of me dies inside every single time I hear one of my younger coworkers say "Oh that person's got to be on the spectrum, they have [insert arbitrary trait here]"
Why? It's a spectrum. Do you mean that not all anti social behavior is caused by autism? A commenter above said that her autism causes her to correct people.
@@19Marc79don’t self diagnose, unless you have the right to properly diagnose others not saying you don’t have autism but maybe actually get it checked before just saying you have it
This was helpful, i was diagnosed at 5 because my mum noticed repetitive and "strange" behaviour, i was diagnosed with aspergers and autism (now just autism & ADHD) and that second to last statement nailed how people viewed me.
I had a good friend with ASD when I was younger. He found it weird that his parents said he didn't used to talk to them He felt he was talking to them. Red in the face he told me for years he thought they could hear his inside voice, because he could hear it. Used to get a bit upset when people wouldn't listen to what he was saying in his head.
My diagnosis at age 4 of OCD was blamed on my mother similarly to the "refrigerator" theory. My mother took it very badly, and left us. She literally thought she had created dysfunctional children. Before she passed away, I told her that after my having years of therapy that she was not, in fact, the cause of my neurological disorder, and she cried with relief. Sabine, thank you for this very rational (as usual) conversation. The point at minute 17:20 is a brilliant explanation of the way society can really do better. I hope you make it into a short. I know some people I'd like to share that with.
In a way your parents are the cause, but genetics are highly random. ASD is much like homosexuality in that it is not caused by parenting and can not be undone by parenting either.
I'm autistic. During the '50s, '60s & '70s when I grew up, autism was completely unknown except for those cases where people needed constant care. That made my childhood extremely difficult. My daughter is also autistic, as are both of my grandsons. Both grandsons were diagnosed early & attended specialized classes in school. My oldest deals with his autism far better than I did. He was given effective coping methods in school that he still uses at 27.
I think many mental conditions with less severe and obvious symptoms were almost criminally trivialized in the past. In my case it was "just" ADHS in the late 70s but I am glad, that at least now I know, where some of my earlier problems came from. Obviously, as is always the case, the pendulum swings too far in the other direction and now everyone and their dog seem to suffer from neurological conditions. I am not for trivializing those conditions but I would like to see less of the "neurodiversity being chique" BS. Those things can be very serious and I don't want to see this other kind of trivialization.
I'm 40 and on the spectrum; I also had an _extremely_ difficult childhood that I'm still pretty traumatized from. I'm glad to hear your children/grandchildren are doing better than you or I did. I feel like I left my formative years right at the cusp of society beginning to become aware of/integrating with ASD. I've always been a little chagrined that I wasn't born a decade later than I was, but I'm sure you had to overcome even greater obstacles than I did growing up. Congrats on making it this far 😀
@@hibryd7481 I spent many years fearing I was sociopathic because I didn't feel empathy like others. I was tested for autism when I was in university and was told I had Asperger's. It explained a lot and eased my mind. At 67 I'm far more empathetic, caring and open to emotions than I was.
Very succinct. I've noticed everything you explained here. As somone with high functioning autism I've come to resent this 'fashion label' behavior. Mostly because it diminishes my struggles.
I once received a text message from an ex girlfriend that said "I just got back from the doctor" (which is normally not a good text to get from an ex). She said " I was just diagnosed with moderate autism, which means you're severely autistic." We both had a good laugh over it because it's true. I do have an issue with autism speaks though. They're getting better as an organization, but historically they have been a group of parents, who are more obsessed with how they're children interact with them, than the welfare of their child. Basically "why does my child not love me?" and "look at how this effects my life as a parent."
This. Autism speaks as a hate group might be hyperbole but is not a fringe theory. They have historically not given a shit about the actual wellbeing of autistic children.
Yeah, agree on the autism speaks front. While accusations of "eugenics" are definitely an exaggeration, their focus seems to make the symtoms of autism less noticable to the people around, not the autistic person themselves. And Sabine did a pretty good outline of the negative effects masking like this can have, especially if it's sold as "you're broken and masking is the fix".
I absolutely agree with this. As a society "parenting" is the ultimate unchecked competency. There's no performance repercussions in being a shitty parent unless it reaches criminality. It's why parent teacher meets are often counter productive and it's how it's even possible to ban books right now. Our idea of individual liberty is demented. If we actually believed that then parents should have no input on their child's education. They should be asking the teachers for tutoring advise not the other way around. That extends to organizations like that because kids aren't funding it parents are.
I know it’s important to accept the differences in our brains and as people, but ADHD to me has been nothing except a disorder. I hate it and have felt defective because of it; for a long time it felt like nothing I did ever mattered since my brain just would not work with me. Even believing all that - knowing well and good, all of that - I still can’t definitely say that I wish I’d been born without it. Despite all that struggle, a part of me feels better for having been through it. Having to work around something like ADHD pushes me to be better than I could ever have been without it. What is life without struggle No idea why I wrote this
I feel you. ADHD (+ASD?) makes me barely functional and even though I've been out of the self-loathing suicidal abyss for 3 years now, I occasionally still sink back into that hole. Yet, I can see the 'superpower' side that people say, as I've always had a natural sense for creative skills like drawing, playing instruments, composing music and coding that makes me boost faster than most people. Unfortunately I went down the path of trying so hard to be normal that I lost myself and my skills along the way. This is why I agree that it's a disorder but also agree that it's a superpower. I can't agree on one without the other, because it really is both a curse and a blessing. As you've said, I can't imagine living without ADHD as I've learned so much from it, . Also curious to ask, do you not feel any talents resulting from your ADHD?
Thank you! I have ADHD and I too have wondered to myself if I could wish it away, would I? The answer is immediately no. I love the way ADHD has influenced my personality and enhanced my abilities for compassion and empathy among other things. I think of ADHD as a trait that has its drawbacks but also has its advantages. And really, there's tradeoffs to everything.
My son,who is 4, is on the spectrum and loves your physics videos. Having never been exposed to anyone with autism before he was born. I was terrified after researching it. Now, however, 4 years later, I feel so blessed. Justin is, by far, the most amazing child I have ever been around. Smart, funny and loveable
My son is autistic and he was easily the most cuddly, loving, and empathetic of my kids. He's so empathetic that he can't cope with people being angry because he absorbs everyone's emotions like a sponge. He worries about animals, and panics if he even has negative thoughts. Buuuuut he also never says "thank you" or "I love you" and refuses to smile in pictures. He hates apologizing. His attitude seems to be that he's psychically absorbing everyone else's feelings, why can't they do the same for him? 😂 He demonstrates his feelings very well, but you'll miss it if you don't know him.
I was diagnosed with Dyspraxia at age 2, but it wasn’t till age 24 I was diagnosed with ASD and 27 with ADHD too. This is not a reflection of how little the conditions affected me, in fact I now have learnt so much about why I struggled so much. The main reason for delays in my case was my mental health and gastrointestinal comorbidities were so intense, they overtook the focus from a health perspective. It wasn’t till during COVID when I coincidentally met an ASD expert who suspected I had ASD within 5 minutes of speaking to me! Sad it was missed for so long and like me there is many others who have been in the same situation. Ohh and I’m in the UK and our waiting lists are up to 7 years, so I had to pay a small fortune for the diagnosis. Ironically the ADHD assessment cost even more 😢
@@ashroskell I'm autistic and I was just recently joking with my German mother about how Germans are "basically just autistic" and that's why they're misunderstood. ...the obsession with order. ...the weird humor. ...the rudeness. ..the intense special interests in science, math, and research. ...the fascination with trains. Etc. Lol We were both laughing so hard for that whole conversation.
@@clicheguevara5282 : Awesome. I wasn’t kidding about being diagnosed with both Autistic Spectrum stuff and ADD, and I am often perceived as being, “over assertive,” (a logical impossibility if you understand the definitions of those words) with strangers, when I just think I’m being direct. I guess I say the quiet parts out loud too much? The irony is, I was very successful as a psychotherapist and family therapist, taking the then Queen’s shilling, for preventing kids being taken into care, wherever possible, safe and in the interests of the child. But my history with friendships and relationships has always been rocky. Your mum sounds great. I bet I’d get along with you guys rather well. Thanks for the comment. Made me smile, my friend.
Not everybody is neurodivergent. Despite a lot more people being identified, we're still a minority. I was only diagnosed at 40 years old because at 2 years old there was a suspicion by my parents and the pediatrician, but because I am level 1 and my symptoms are ,"light", everybody pushed away the possibility and I struggled all my life with not fitting in, feeling a weirdo, being bullied, having a lot of difficulties making and keeping friends. Only somewhere around my teens I started to relate to autism characteristic but I also shrugged the idea because of how I thought all autistic people were like (based on the stereotypical level 3 autistic). Only when I met some other lady level 1 like me and realized we were so alike, I finally realized autism was indeed possible. I was diagnosed by a psychologist specialized in autism, working at the main autism organization in my country. If anyone knows about autism is these guys. Yet, I still feel imposter syndrome all the time and feel embarassed whenever people tell me there is no way I am autistic. I get why some people hold on to their Asperger diagnosis, because for a level 1 autistic, it is hard to be taken seriously when we don't present as obviously autistic but claim we are. People don't believe us.
This shows how outdated your info still is on autism cuz of not being taught properly about the diagnosis and autism as a whole. There aren't "levels". That was a term to try to categorize what is in reality a spectrum. There aren't levels to it. That was what the past people assumed, but it has been realized to not be the case the past decade. I kindly suggest looking into it more and updating your knowledge of it. Not being mean or a dick, i genuinely do recommend researching it more. I did 5 years ago for my senior project in high school because i myself dealt with people misunderstanding ehat autism actually is. I highly recommend doing the same, but fon't look at autism speaks because it is a toxic place trying to "cure" autism. It can't be cured cuz it isn't a disease. It's a disorder. They treat it how mental disorders were treated decades ago, back when lobotomy was medically approved. But that is an outdated and harmful mindset they are giving to parents of people like me with autism. So be careful where you get your information as you research autism to learn the modern knowledge of it.
@@ZapStrideGaming while I don't personally like the 'level' system either, it is in fact still currently relevant and used for diagnostic and support purposes
The amount of people saying “this whole generations becoming autistic!” Or whatever even though we are still only about 1.5% of the population kinda baffles me.
@@ZapStrideGaming I appreciate that you mean well, but you are preaching from ignorance. The ideas of 'spectrum' and 'level' are not mutually exclusive. There is utility in dividing a spectrum into levels for reference. For example, light exists as a spectrum, yet it is useful to conceptually divide it into segments aka 'levels' like IR, UV, microwave, x-ray, and so on. Similarly, there are significant differences between people on either extreme of an autism spectrum. It is useful to categorize these differences, sometimes as 'levels'. Sometimes it is more useful to discuss autism as a spectrum. Both approaches are useful in their own way, depending on context, just like when discussing light. Thank you, my autism requires me to correct you, but I still love you as a person.
@@RGamingBlastoise It's all because of the DSM-5, the DSM-5 was not about scientific progression, it is all about selling illnesses and disorders to make more people purchase drugs and interventions. It's part of our capitalistic societies. The DSM-5 has blurred the lines and expanded the boundaries too far, numerous people get misdiagnosed. The NIMH said the DSM-5 should not be made, the leaders knew it would be a scientific nightmare. Psychiatry is corrupted by capitalism. They have simply labelled every behavior autistic people exhibit 'autism trait', when you look at these behaviours one by one we see they are actually ordinary human behaviours and not traits of any condition. Since they are general human behaviours humans in general see themselves performing 'autism traits' so they assume they are slightly autistic but not autistic enough for a diagnosis. There is no autism epidemic as many are saying, the genes associated with autism are persistent because of evolution, these mutations enhance the adaptability of the population as a whole. If everyone was autistic our population wouldn't survive as diversity is essential for survival, so the idea we're all autistic is even contradictory to evolution.
In my experience, working with children with ASD in a mainstream primary school, strategies that work well for those children are generally beneficial for all children as well. School would be an easier place to be for everyone if we can make it an easier place to be for neurodivergent children.
Exactly. All humans are alike in some way, and are all just animals at that. It’s like training a dog, that’s how I view it regarding my experience at least.
@@transformlikeaphoenix It was Francis Galton, he's the one who invented the 'normal' human as superior then produced a one-size-fits-all classifying diversity as a disease. It's the result of the racist Eugenics Movement.
#autism 🎉welcome. I knew I liked you for a reason. Late diagnosed myself and love how you collect the data and analyze giving a logical conclusion. Rude? No, no...misunderstood for your directness. I love it, but then again, I have a little German in me somewhere. Oh, I came across the sabators during Special Interest Group for Neurodiversity, "Austism Speaks" and makes it hard for me as an ASD. I just like solving problems and now I know why I could understand the kids when their parents couldn't. Loved the 2024 Standford Neurodiversity Conference, especially the violinist attending UCSC (slug here) and the high schooler who made a resource database for other ASD and others using IT, augmented speaking devices. I heard them all loud and clear. So inspiring!❤
As a child my report card usually had a check mark beside “effort not commensurate with ability.” For my entire life I was accused of not trying, not paying attention, not caring. Sadly, even my first wife engaged in belittling me for my various deficiencies. I say ‘sadly’ because she is a board-certified behavior analyst with a PhD in psychology who was withholding information regarding my *neurodivergence* because (in her words) she didn’t want me using it as an excuse. After decades of struggles, I was diagnosed with extreme ADHD at 36. Nevertheless, licensed psychiatrists told me that I didn’t have ADHD, because you don’t earn a PhD if you’re like that. It took another 10 years before I was diagnosed as being on the ASD. Looking back over my life, the signs were pretty obvious: slow verbal development, conversational non sequiturs, stimming so hard the floor vibrates, sleep problems, digestive problems, anxiety, depression, and the failure of other people to understand my superior sense of humor. As Bob Marley said, “Every man think his burden is the heaviest;” so I’m not whining for my sake. I only hope we can do better for our kids. I only hope
@@NeedMorePlebs I often jump to a topic that is only connected to the current conversation via my own stream of consciousness. So, it kinda comes from left field.
I worked in a school for children with Autism and Down's Syndrome. While doing some flashcard math with a 6 year old child sitting across his desk from me wrote the answers upside down and backwards so I could read them.
Americans scammed OXYS and XANAXX and fentanyl and now their hitting adhd meds…all the scammers from COVID because you can talk into our phone and don’t have to go into a DRS room…stupid parents who are scamming making their kids adhd so they can get pills…and influencers on tik tok and UA-cam giving away tips and hints to get late diagnosis it’s PATHETIC!!!!!!!
I wish we could have more clarity on the "lack empathy" trope with ASD. We're actually far more empathetic and considerate than we are given credit for, we just have different ways to express this and may take a little longer to process our thoughts about the situations.
I was diagnosed at 40. My mother was advised to get me assessed when I was 5 but she couldn’t be bothered. I used to practice facial expressions and social interactions in the mirror and always thought everyone did this until my assessment. My son was diagnosed at 3.
"My mom couldn't be bothered".... Oh man... I can relate to that. I don't have ASD but if I got a 20 dollar bill for every time my parents avoided me or lied to me I'd be REALLY rich.
This is besides your point, but practicing that stuff in the mirror isn't so unusual. At least, I don't think it is! I certainly do it. But there is likely an observable difference in the way someone with autism does it versus without.
@@randomuser5443 not painful at all, it made all my life make sense. I’m actually really proud of it, I am really good at certain things because I hyper focus on learning all about certain subjects how to do things perfectly and I became the go to specialist at my previous job. I’m now an artist and can finally work my creative side.
17:00 I do not have an ASD diagnosis myself, but the general opinion on Autism Speaks from the majority of ASD diagnosed people I've met in my life is that they do far more harm than good for the image of autism and that most people with ASD do not support their actions. I think this sentiment is worth recognizing and pursuing for a "Charitable Organization working for the betterment of those diagnosed with ASD" and its probably pretty important for them to listen to the people who are begging them to stop something most, and find out why. It does not seem to be a fringe or uncommon opinion about Autism Speaks.
I have an example when the “conventional” idea caused a problem. I had polio when I was a baby which led to a deformed foot. My father kept telling me to point my foot forward. There’s advantages to that because having a foot sticking out sideways makes you trip over the door frame! But later in life I realised that it was causing stress and pain in my knee. It took ages to unlearn pointing my foot forward but now that I can do it, I have only had to learn to watch out for door frames (which doesn’t hurt).
This is such a wonderful story. Thank you so much for sharing it. I'm going to share this on a blog site, but I will keep your identity hidden. Thanks in advance.
@@STStudios98 I'm sure it can, but I think it's better than twisting your knee inwards, and if your foot is shaped to point outwards, I think as long as your knee and legs are still pointing forwards and you can walk normally, it should be fine.
@@STStudios98 not when your knee is also sideways. Or to say a differently there are likely a whole bevy of other issues going on due to polio that make this the more comfortable solution. Pointing a foot forward to prevent a knee issue is pretty low on the list in the face of those
As one who has spent decades learning about autism, it became apparent less than halfway through that this was a fair and thoughtful treatment. Well done Sabine!
My observation is Sabine does that with notable skill. She is one of the few I will consistently share and or recommend to others looking to be informed on a topic. They are very likely to take away some solid, practical perspective and enough basic knowledge to continue along from a rational, useful position. That is high value these days. Always is, and was. However, given the growing mess public discourse is today, the need for Sabine and others seeking to add to the dialog, is serious and growing. We are lucky to have her, and I enjoy her work.
@@DougDingus Quite. Relevant: Mark Manson's article "The benefits of being Slightly Crazy" Then Dr Tony Attwood has said in essence he thinks the functional Neurodivergence will slowly blend into the allistics long term to cause the next stage of human evolution. The normies are the natural majority to keep the species functional and stable. The others like me bring extra flair and more dramatic changes. A society of exclusively Neurodivergence at my level would likely be too anarchic to work 😂😂
As a mother with a neurodivergent family, this is one of the best explained videos I’ve seen to date, on autism. New subscriber😊. What has been beneficial to my children: diagnosis early, start therapies early, and a supportive school system (mine are fortunate to attend a school specialised for disabilities) which enables them to thrive and learn and form friendships and communities. We have been very fortunate, because not every town/city/country has this.
supportive family members are also very very helpful! thank you for being understanding, from an autistic woman who didn't have an understanding mother. i appreciate you.
Loved the video, Sabine. Of course, you're preaching to the choir, so I'm not sure if my opinion matters much ;-) I haven't been diagnosed by a professional, all I did was take an online test. It basically confirmed two of my major handicaps: sensitive to depression, and struggling with social interaction. It was comforting, after more than fifty years on this planet, to finally realize that my baseline is simply different. I have a close friend who truly believes in 'life is what you make it' ... and she will never really understand why for me it's just harder. A typical case of there being no substitute for experience. Video's like this and people confirming it make it a less lonely place.
Many of these diagnoses are shared with FASD (fetal alcohol spectrum disorder), which is estimated to be 5x more common than ASD and also shares symptoms with ADHD, physical symptoms like chronic ear infections, poor circulation, etc. Unfortunately, it isn’t very well known, and many people are misdiagnosed with other things like ADHD or ASD so just thought I’d share another neurodivergence.
Yes, yes yes! I had chronic ear infections as a child, and studied FASD intensely as I have many job hours of clinical studies and interview footage concerning FASD and you are absolutely correct, not only that but unfortunately as you said nobody really knows this stuff.
Lead poisoning can cause ADHD-like difficulties and the US has more lead in its water than most countries, but oh no, people on the internet want you to worry about red dye in food
@@candinunya5211 There are multiple FASDs, and if you have FAS (the most severe form), ‘impaired intelligence’ would be more apparent. But the most common form of FASD is a spectrum and presents itself in several ways. There also isn’t really a proper way to gauge every child’s intelligence. It’s a neurodivergence.
In my late teens (1980s) I searched and searched the psychology section of our county library for books that might cover people like me because I was sure I could not be the only one. I never found anything. I had no idea that 'autism' was a label that fitted me like a glove until reading a book review in the Independent when I was in my mid thirties. The book was by Sula Wolff, about autistic loners. I got my first professional diagnosis ten years later, and in another country. But after buying and reading Sula Wolff's book I never had any doubt I was autistic. A few years ago I stood alone waiting for service at a car main dealer, carefully following the lines of the steel struts of the roof with my gaze. It turned out that the lady who eventually came to talk to me has a son who is a structural engineer with ASD. She said she could see immediately that I was autistic like her son, even before approaching me, because she observed the wrapt attention with which I was visually analysing the structure of their building, oblivious to everyone and everything. The relationship between empathy and autism is difficult to conceptualise and difficult to understand. I have been accused of selfishness and self-absorption but also noted for being unusually empathetic and sympathetic towards others, particularly strangers and colleagues at work (as opposed to personal friends or relatives) - both are actually true. I can't really explain it.
My son would relate. He actually had a similar instance of being spotted from a distance, the person knew just by watching him for a few minutes. He also has expressed your last sentiment and id have to agree… he is more empathetic than both my wife and I… we joke he’s an “empath” but those that don’t take the time to get to know him only see him as self-absorbed and uncaring.
Would you say that you are excellent at being caring in situations where you clearly understand the other person's emotions, but sometimes miss others' frustrations in situations where you didn't know you were "behaving selfishly"? I have been thinking a lot recently about the relationship between empathy, compassion, kindness, and social cues. This comment really made me remember all of the times I've been shocked by the thoughtfulness of my autistic friends. But I can also think of times when I've been really irritated with them because they've done things that felt especially inconsiderate. I think in my experience, kindness from my autistic friends tends to be very deliberate and intentional, which makes it feel particularly thoughtful. Whereas moments of "selfishness" tend to be very casual and careless, which can make them feel particularly inconsiderate. I don't know if they feel the same way about these situations, though. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.
As a mostly German, and part English, Irish, & Czech American mutt, I absolutely identify with everything you shared at the end but am more confused about it all due to... well, being a mutt. Although I'm a year late on watching this video, I want to express my heartfelt appreciation and gratitude for your research & sharing this video/topic as my son is on the autism spectrum (I'm biased in the naming convention and believe that the term "autism spectrum" succinctly identifies & conveys the traits and their breadth/depth, so this topic touches home. Of all of the books I've read, videos I've watched, and discussions I've participated in, none has covered the topic with such clarity, succinctness, precision, and humor. It's a "must watch" for children (when they can understand it), parents, family, friends, and the public at large. For those who are on the autism spectrum journey, and their loved ones, I'd like to share my experiences and thoughts in the hopes that some of them might be helpful and useful to you on your journey. I must ask for forgiveness for the length as I do my best to share some highlights. My family and I are so blessed by the advancements in the field of autism research and education (as Dr Hossenfelder discussed) as our son was identified as having a Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) at the 12-15 month point (through scheduled wellness checks) and immediately received medical intervention support right away. He was then diagnosed as being on the Autism Spectrum at 36 months and received immediate education and continued medical intervention support. From there, our journey has been nothing short of miraculous and it's hard to fully express how life-changing his journey has been for our family. Being present to witness & experience the joy, love, and determination that he brings into the world and our lives every single day, along with watching & learning from every Occupational Therapist (OT), school teacher, paraprofessional/teacher's aid, speech & language pathologist, and the amazing public school administrators and staff whose hearts & focus are dedicated to the students and inclusion has been the highlight of my life without equal. As an American, I'd be remiss if I didn't express our gratitude to every school teacher who has to teach and care for students on the autism spectrum when fire or active shooter drills take place, and especially during active shooter events. My intention isn't to discuss the events, but rather recognize what teachers have to plan for and respond to in these situations as they truly are heroic. I'd also like to share that, along with the aforementioned, the quantity and diversity of extracurricular resources that are available have been equally important including summer intensive reading camps (Arizona State University for example), Therapeutic Horseback Riding, gymnastics & cross-fit classes organized and led by those in the fields of Special & Physical Education, swimming (which is so very important due to elopement in children with autism & tragically wandering into pools, lakes, etc), and Special Educator led social skills classes. Every single organization, coach, and teacher are an inspiration to me with their skill and devotion to every student. Additionally, when speaking of elopement and wandering into pools/etc, there are inexpensive electronic devices/watches that can track your child's location using GPS & wrist bands that have In Case of Emergency (ICE) contact information which provide a layer of safety and security. It's also helpful to meet your local first responders and have your loved one and family introduce themselves while learning about their organization, mission, and important contact numbers and resources. Although I recognize that this can go sideways really quickly, I'd like to thank my government and public education system for their focus on researching & understanding autism, for devoting the funds and resources that are required for it, for directing that public schools hire the numerous specialized professionals and have in-classroom & pull-out space and resources to support their education, for directing & implementing an Individual Education Plan (IEP) for every special education student and organizing an IEP team with parental involvement and participation, for educating teachers and staff on autism and emerging approaches and therapies to help them throughout their education, and for the students in the classroom that follow the teachers lead in embracing and including them in classroom learning and out of classroom activities. I'd like to end with a short story about one of the most beautiful things I've seen in my life thanks to our son and the public school system. For his 7th birthday, his school and teacher allowed us to bring cupcakes into class during one of their recesses and celebrate his birthday with the class. When we showed up to the classroom, the teacher got the students together and lined them up to go to the recess pavilion. There were two students on the autism spectrum in his class with our son being one of them and a boy who was a new student with his family having recently moved to the area from Iraq. Unfortunately, the boy was having a difficult time (Dr Hossenfelder captured this in the video noting the difficulties with unplanned transitions along with other responses including self-stimulation and fight or flight) and ran to a bush and started crying. I then watched about 5 or 6 of his classmates spontaneously run to where he was at (which wasn't far) and console/encourage him. We then went to the recess pavilion and the same 5 of 6 students sat by him and stayed with him throughout - the joy that was on his face, and on our son's face, was/is unforgettable. We also celebrated other student's birthdays for the month and it is one of the most memorable birthday moments that we'll never forget. I hope that some of this might help someone out there. I know your journey is uniquely yours, as all of ours are, and that the journey is filled with questions, concerns, worries, and expectations. I know that not every country, state, city, and school is the same and that resource constraints exist in some more than others. I share this as what Dr Hossenfelder alluded to at the end, with the fog and friction that's unintentionally and intentionally caused by terms and perceptions, is a reality and I've witnessed and experienced some of it along the journey. I've learned that the journey naturally comes with more fog than clarity (especially for parents and family) and sometimes includes friction even between those who truly want nothing but the best for the child/student or cause. My prayer and wish are that we might pause during those moments, look at our child/the student (or envision them if they're not present), and look at the Autism Speaks puzzle piece with "us" (parent, teacher, etc) being the puzzle piece with the puzzle being us (parent, teacher, etc) and our child/the student together. Sometimes, more often than not and more than some of us are willing to recognize, we're the missing piece. May love and laughter light your days, and warm your heart and home. May good and faithful friends be yours, wherever you may roam. May peace and plenty bless your world with joy that long endures. May all life’s passing seasons bring the best to you and yours!
I've had great difficulty in my years dealing with people and trying to understand things that come naturally to others. I was diagnosed with high functioning ASD at 45. It was an incredible relief to finally know I'm not stupid. I have difficulty understanding social situations and making friends, but I have the ability to fix most anything without having prior knowledge of how the broken thing functioned in the first place. What comes easy to me seems impossible for most others. Thank you for this video!
Yup , dude , me too . I relate a lot to that , as a child I was really curious about how things works and I learned quickly how to disassemble and reassemble things .
As someone who has Autism and went trough many of such programs, I can honestly say the "special treatment" has had the opposite effect and I can now handle social pressure less well if not at all because I have been made too self aware.
I feel this As I've gotten older and more aware of myself, realizing thatI have ASD has definitely given me closure. Unfortunately, it has the additional effect of making me very reserved out of fear of making an ass of myself like when I was younger.
@@Solis_Pulchrus Yeah same. Although the world perceived us as making an ass of ourselves. I feel like that's the way we learn and if people had been less harsh in their responses this could've been entirely avoided. Probably the best thing is home schooling for people like us, as the environment is always overwhelming no matter where they put us. In some ways the world has become a lot better and in other ways the world has adopted a lot of facistic ideas by excluding certain types of people from society. As it's pretty clear to me that we're just being systematically cancelled from having normal lives so that the normal people can feel self entitled and judge anything that falls outside of the "norm" what is a norm anyway? lol
I honestly think it’s intentionally handicapping them since instead of causing to grow and learn irregardless of their difficulties it’s causing them to be complacent in their ability and that they need not try, maybe a lot of people aren’t diagnosed as autistic because the world didn’t Give a single shit and those who struggled worked harder and those who didn’t didn’t.
@@notchs0son Exactly, it's all to set a basis for what's normal. How can we even say what is normal when it's such a large percentage of humanity that has it? Perhaps it is normal to have Autism and it is being turned in to a problem... It supposes a problem when the leaders of our world want to put everyone in a box so that every day people keep the gears of society running. It is facism with extra steps
Pro-tip, don't ever tell anyone you're Autistic, the moment they know you'll become a non-person in their eyes and just "a walking diagnosis", never bring it up to anyone who doesn't know about it.
I have always suspected that this may be my issue. I adopted two girls out of a bad situation and the oldest was diagnosed with Asbergers and it has been painful to watch her try to fit in. I think she may be the loneliest person in the world and she just can’t understand why the other kids ostracize and bully her. It breaks my heart to see how hard she tries and I am amazed at the amount of cruelty that is directed toward her because she is different. She is a beautiful person and I have done everything I can to make her and her sister happy. It is so sad what she has deal with.
That other kids are cruel to her has only one source: that the adults are not slapping those other kids once or twice until they stop. Bullying has nothing to do with either bullies or those who are being bullied: it's rooted in adults not stepping up to set social norms that bullying will be punished severely. In other words: it's YOUR fault. Now stop complaining and do your job as an adult!
@@schmetterling4477 what am I supposed to do, go to the school and kick the shit a out of some kids then spend the rest of my life in jail? I took one set of parents to court but the problem was endemic and it accomplished nothing. Sorry, it is obvious you don’t have a clue
@@jayleeper1512 No, you kick the shit out of the principal. An adult does that with a simple threat: "Please do your job of protecting my child or my attorney will do it for you. Thank you for your time." I was in several schools. The last one was the best. The difference? It had an iron fisted principal. There was no bullying. Why? Because if there was any noise in the courtyard he would call the teachers in who were supposed to take care of it and dress them down. Then he would call the kids who caused it in and dress them down. If it happened a second time he would call the parents of the kids in and dress them down. When it happened the third time (it only did once in six years) he called the authorities and had the problem child removed from the premises, in that one case in a police car. That was a great school. I never had any problems there. Nobody did. So, yeah. Get yourself an attorney who knows how to make life hard for the people who the state entrusts with the protection of your child, if necessary. If you can tell that those people can't be trusted even after those threats, find a better school for your child. That is YOUR JOB. OK?
I suggest trying to find other autistic kids for her to meet, because I personally wish I had autistic friends since finding out that I was autistic at 25. But don't force anything, let friendships happen naturally if they're going to happen at all.
I really appreciate your new ones approach to this topic. My mom ran a therapeutic horse farm that I taught at for years which primarily taught classically autistic children. They were all severely disabled. Done when I was 39 years old I had a therapist suggest that I should get tested for autism, and I was completely blown away because the only side of autism that I previously seen was so different from what my experience has been. I completely ignored it at first because I was in denial. My sister and my son were diagnosed with autism so I thought I better get tested, too. Actually, I’m still on the waitlist to get my test, but I’ve had several doctors/psychiatrists confirm that I will get the diagnosis.
So I came to the conclusion that I was autistic in my 30s, and that likely my father and sister were too. I told my mother about this and she immediately started researching it. One day, she was reading on her iPad about Dr Asperger and my Austrian father leaned over and said "oh, that's my old doctor". Apparently my oma had taken my dad to the Viennese paediatrician clinic because "she didn't know what else to do with him". My dad never connected his childhood Dr. Asperger to "Asperger Syndrome" or his own nerdiness, until we pointed it out in his 70s.
"I'm not rude and awkward, I'm just German" - love it. In all seriousness, there is an important point here, every culture has its own leaning towards individualism and collectivism, and how much atypical behaviour is or is not accepted. I think there is a tendency in modern culture, as hollow as it is, to appropriate pretty much anything to wear as a badge or to feel some sense of belonging, whilst at the same time wishing to stand out from the mainstream. Speaking personally I've always had patterns of behaviour that would match the description of 'socially divergent' but I've never felt the need to wear the t-shirt. My loved ones know and accept it and that's really all that matters to me.
To be fair when I ask my doctor if I should get diagnosed he said thet if I don't have probalms thet can be better address with a diagnosis I should not bother
i love how fully thorough the video is ! though, i feel it's important to add - i personally have seen plenty of criticism against autismspeaks offline, not just online (ive really seen much more of it offline tbh but perhaps thats because im not on twitter aha). granted, i was mainstreamed fairly early, meaning the majority of my autistic friends are also those who are in mainstream classes, so while there is a sampling bias there, i also know that both my highschool's committee that runs a school-wide autism acceptance day and my college's neurodiversity activism club have taken a strong stance against autismspeaks. while many of their mission statements like were mentioned in the video are certainly positive and not what they once were, their actions speak louder than their words, and the very small percentage of funding that actually helps familites, having a board of all allistic people despite the criticism, and even reseraching information that /could/ be used for eugenics, even if they claim they don't plan to use it for that, is irresponsible. if people would like to know of charities that carry out their principles more effectively, check out ASAN !
Thank you for saying this, they've also done ads and research that demonizes autism in a really horrifying way, here's an example: ua-cam.com/video/9UgLnWJFGHQ/v-deo.html. They've done research where they use electric shock as punishment, not for violent behaviors but for stimming to try and "cure" autism. It is really awful stuff and it sucks that they present themselves so nicely on the outside because they are really an awful org who many people think is a nice charity.
As someone who works with young people with ASD, I'm impressed by the precision and thoroughness of this video. It's almost hard to believe that you didn't have any information on this complex subject before making this presentation. All my respect for your work.
In Australia the Intelligence organisation ASIC realised many people with ASD were perfect for Intelligence jobs but were struggling to get past the application process which was based upon traditional hiring processes... so they changed the application process.
Yes, that followed successful programs initiated at, IIRC, Hewlett Packard company. They go through quite a rigorous selection process to identify individuals with the specific characteristics they need.
And henceforth the created a new biotope in the workplace which 10 000 years later turned into a new species that colonized venus. It's said that the homo venus people discriminate against homo sapiens in the job application interviews 😂
16:38 Autistic here, distaste towards Autism Speaks is not a small niche at all, I’d bargain it’s a very popular consensus among autistics. While I can’t say for certain whether their MSSNG projects is bad, and indeed they have gone back on some of their extreme positions, a majority of autistics harbor a deep resentment towards AS because they initially misrepresented and demonized autism pretty hard, such as describing it as “faster than pediatric AIDS, cancer, and diabetes combined”. They also used to be a big proponent of “curing” autism, which I and a lot of other autistics aren’t a big fan of as it’s just something that leads to way more pain than just finding acceptance. I’ll be the first to admit that they’re technically not as bad as they used to be, but after the damage they’ve caused they’ve done nothing that warrants forgiveness from the autistic community.
Agree! They also had one autistic on their board but that person left due to issues with AS, and they have not replaced that person with another autistic. How can on org say they're there to help autistic yet they won't have one on their board? Huge red flag for me!
I have autism (diagnosed as a child). And to have you take a sound scientific view on the matter is lovely. I'm 70 and have studied ealier in life of this condition (and found ways of living with it). And I found that being open about it, accept that others don't can or won't understand, makes things easier.
@@xstensl8823 Yea, I have trouble breaking my rythm enough for a new relationship. Even a new job is tough but I can usually find one with a daily rythm
While a fan of the channel, I put off watching this video because of the polemic title. But it's actually very nuanced and a good introduction to the condition and some of the current attitudes toward it. Well done, Sabine et al!
Such a great overview! I was delighted to see you tackle this subject, and very happy to see you dive into the controversies going on as the autistic community (myself included) figure out how to be our best selves. Thanks!
@@stephendevore I really wish it didn't. I gave a tip, and UA-cam showed it. Personally, I wish they'd let tippers hide that if we want to - it actually keeps me from tipping some days.
The bad thing about this video is that the "charity" autism speaks doesn't listen to autistic people who can speak. It isn't about autistic people getting their own voice, but actively silences those who can by labeling them as extreme.
@@_linlin_ I don't think I said anything about over diagnosis but it seems to me like the "crisis" of over diagnosis is just a result of people not being aware there was a problem, and then upset when confronted by it. Remember that even if you know of one hundred autistic influencers that's just a hundred people. It might seem like a lot, but it's not. They have a platform because they're highly motivated. Autistic people have one of the lowest life expectancies of any group. They have an audience because the small proportion of people that are autistic finally have someone saying what they're feeling. What you're experiencing as over diagnosis is just a bunch of highly motivated people. It's really the same as political representation online. A politically moderate person isn't as motivated as someone with extreme views. As a result, you hear extremes more often than moderate views.
Another thing is that many autistics find it easier to communicate online rather than the real world. Online you can find dedicated special interest groups really easily so you can express your love of something with people who feel the same. It’s also just easier to communicate online than it is in real life. Neurotypicals may not be as inclined nor really want to join these groups so it’s no surprise that when you look inside you find a bunch of neurodiverse people.
Our healthcare system is backwards. Instead of focusing on keeping people healthy it treats sick people. Since the US has a for profit system this means medical professionals work in an environment where finding an illness makes them money. That encourages giving any kind of diagnosis regardless of it being necessary or helpful to the person.
@@_linlin_ If you would think about things a bit more you would realise there is no over diagnosis, it's just an illusion. Look through the DSM and turn the language into casual language, read it out to a friend and ask if they know anyone of such. Everyone you do that to will say "yes" every time, do you know why? The DSM System is only the diagnostic criteria to be diagnosed as a human. Science twisted everything back to front in the 19th century when they invented the normal human. Variation is the rule, not the exception. Society has simply given everyone who doesn't fit the social norm a label and the criteria is just a description of a human, that's why homosexuality and left handedness were in the DSM, they did not fit the norm. Disorders have more to do with social settings, and not biology. Science is supposed to be objective, the only objective explanation for a 'normal human' is it's normal for humans to be diverse. This is why more and more scientists are turning against the ideology of normal, because countless times it has just resulted in prejudice delusional conclusions like the female inferiority doctrine. The female inferiority doctrine caused feminism, another political movement. Science based on the concept of normality is the origin of discrimination, prejudice, and bad science.
I'm autistic (diagnosed in adulthood, back in 2013 pre-TikTok, if that matters to anyone), and I mostly liked your coverage. I did find it a bit US-centric, though? I'm Norwegian, and we don't use the DSM for diagnosis, but the ICD. In the ICD-10, autism is not a "mental health condition". It's a "pervasive neurodevelopmental disability". I think that's an important and powerful distinction to make. Most of us live under the assumption that mental health conditions, like depression, anxiety, or bipolar disorder, can be treated, to one extent or another, and that the mental health condition is separate from who we are as people, like diabetes doesn't define someone's essence. Whereas "pervasive neurodevelopmental disability" makes it clear to anyone and everyone that autism is ingrained in us. We cannot be cured. We cannot be fixed. We cannot be medicated out of being autistic. It's a description of our neurological wiring. Without autism, we would be different people altogether, because it's pervasive. It's a disability, which provides a different legal status and higher protection than that of someone who has a "mental health condition". In my experience, I've had a much easier time with financial aid from the government and such, than people I know who struggle with chronic illness and mental health issues. The healthcare system in Norway will try anything to treat the chronic illness and mental health issues, because they're conditions that have developed in life and to which there are treatment plans. I, on the other hand, was born like this and there is no treatment. I suspect that distinction makes it a lot easier for me to get the help I need. So while I think chronically and mentally ill people deserve better, I also caution against reducing autism to a "mental health condition". It's not. Even Wikipedia can tell you that much. I think the neurodiversity movement is onto something, and I think people have a tendency to race towards the poles. At one end, we have horrible ableism, high stigmas around things like Schizophrenia, the thought that having any kind of disability is "a tragedy" and so on. At the opposite end, we apparently have people who advocate for autism, ADHD, Schizophrenia and the like as being natural variations in human neurodiversity, and thus not debilitating in and of itself? (I've never heard of this until watching this video.) I find myself in the middle. I don't want any of the ableism. I don't want internalized ableism. I don't want to experience ableism from other people, towards myself, or my deafblind family member, or my Schizophrenic family member. I want *all* of us to be treated with respect and dignity. I also don't want our struggles to be erased. We *can* acknowledge that being deafblind, being autistic, or having Schizophrenia are difficult things while *also* working from the assumption that our lives are worth living and that we deserve accommodation, compassion, opportunities, and happiness -- like any other person.
Nearly 21 now and was only told that I’m Autistic afew months ago. The fact that it wasn’t caught while in school despite the fact I’d gone to several mental health professionals and would breakdown in tears over nothing, frustrates me to no end. I’m glad that it’s getting easier to get a diagnosis for younger kids.
I'm almost 50 now and lived in this world with ASD all my life too. Genuinely, once you realise that yes, you are different and no, you cannot be what society wants you to be you will be fine. Just don't mask becasue it is the masking that kills us so early on. We believe that we can mask and eventually it all falls apart. There is actuqally some parralels with homosexual man in the early 1900's here becasue they had the same issue of having to mask all the time or risk physical or psychological harm. A lot of suicides in that community happened when they could not continue to live the masked lie. Just don't do that. Be what you are - not what norms want you to be.
@@lindareed9320not to sound rude. I realize it might be a weirs thing to ask but, Why would you accept such a diagnosis? Even if it is true, you would not want the lable right?
There was a time where peolle would hide having "issues" such as autism or ADHD, not even so long ago, even for example 20 years ago high school kids would have ASD and yet be COMPLETELY normal, indistinguishable from any other person to an amazing degree. This is because before social media crybabies, peolle were mean and you had to be "tough" to survive and or thrive. So you had many peolle wkth "issues" that either never even knew they had it or managed very well in coping with it and even thriving because they knew it was either that or everyone would think they're weird or laugh at them. Unfortunately these days, everyone's a crybaby and nearly EVERYONE wants to tell everyone how they have this or that and expect everyone to say "omg I'm so sorry, I'll be so much nicer to you now. Wanna be friends. Let's give you money and attention". I'm not saying that some peolle with ASD or other "issues" back then didn't go home and feel pretty bad having to live a "double life", but on the other hand many people gained strength and true confidence from having to thrive in HARSSH and tough conditions and reality. Today, people will cry or end themselves if the pressure gets too tough or one mean "bully" makes a joke. 20-30 years ago bullies made people tough. Today. Bullies no longer exist or have been pressured by the crybabies to vanish. Oh how social media has changed the younger gen. Gen z is the weakest, saddest, most insecure, most desperate,.most gullible, and most pathetic generation of ALL time. Idk how gen z will survive without their parents. Remember the "idiot movie" where the guy goes to the future and realizes he's the smartest person because everyone else is extremely stupid. That's the direction we seem to be heading. If you don't have to push yourself to gain knowledge or be tough or learn how to fit in with "bullies" or people who can easily push you around or make fun of you, your how will you thrive? Expecting and forcing everyone through guilt tripping them online behind a screen to be nice or be canceled is beyond pathetic. But that's just me. Anyone who went to hs even 20 years ago and especially 30-40 years ago will sigh at today's kids
@@JeroenDoesread my post below yours. Social media and today's pathetic gen z social media insecure desperate kids, have made it That way because they are too weak and pathetic and sad to toughen up and survive in reality. Even 20 years ago people with ADHD or ASD walked around in high school and NOONE noticed because they knew it was either toughen up and push yourself to fit in and be socially likable and NEVER tell anyone you were diagnosed, or be laughed at and made fun of forever. So many people may have had a mental "issue" and never knew it because they HAD to grow out of it. Today, you have to apologize and put everyone with a mental "issue" on a pedestal and worship them or the sad social media copycats will "cancel" you. Kids today are using their "issues" and many even make it up that they have it knowing it's an easy way to gain sympathy, coerce bullies into not targeting them (lest they get canceled by the whole country), and use it as a way to fit in or get support or money or attention. Fkn pathetic. And these gen z kids will one day run the country or have kids on their own? If they're this pathetic imagine how much MORE pathetic their kids will be, if they can even raise kids properly at all without cutting off their penis at age 2 because the young boy said "I like dolls" randomly.
Thank you for making this video. Our son is 8, and has ADHD and ASD - his Pediatrician said that 10 years ago he could have called it Aspergers. The tone and mood of many online support groups have left us reeling from the strident vitriol and blatant intolerance for people with different experiences. In our experience, Autism sucks. Our son battles socially to the point he can't do activities without one of us with him. He can't keep friends because of his ways. School is a disaster and I always have to be available for that phone call from his teacher. The journey to finding medication that properly helps him is fraught. Autism is not a superpower. We see him struggle every day. We should be allowed to say this.
As a neurodivergent (ADHD and Autism) teen girl, I agree with you. I was only diagnosed at age 14, and growing up home life and school were a struggle. It was hard. Just a cycle of being absolutely disappointed in myself because I said or did something that made people avoid me and feeling the shame of my parents because I couldn't live up to their expectations of how I should act in society. So many people around me didn't understand my thought processes, or how I functioned. One of the most specific examples of this was people around me thinking that I was overreacting and attention seeking when I was hurt because of "over exaggerated reactions" when in reality, as an autistic person, I feel feelings so much deeper than the average person, and my feelings were real. My parents who raised me as best as they could, with the efforts of 1000 suns, found it draining to parent me. Even now, my life is a struggle. With ADHD medication so scarce, and the stresses of my final year in highschool, life is hard. While it's amazing that we are normalising support needs, and non-verbalism, and stimming, and all of this, we should be able to say that we struggle and battle in a world that we don't understand, and that doesn't understand us. It is even hard for our parents who feel so hurt and drained because they love us so much it's hard to see us struggle. It does not make you a bad person or parent to say that the experiences of raising an ADHD and autistic are so hard, because us kids, including at 8, know it as well (except we may not be able to express it). My one piece of advice though is it to share the hardships with your son and not to put the blame on him that could make him feel like a burden. That being said, there are some amazing advantages to being AuDHD (basically being both ADHD and autistic). The first being that I feel emotions so deep, to the point where it is so overwhelming strong that it has to come out of my body. It so amazing to think about the fact that I experience happiness and love on a whole other level, that I have to hug my sisters and mum and dad or else I feel like I'm going to burst. In addition my pattern recognition skills are incredibly helpful it my everyday life. I've avoided car crashes by swerving into the next lane, been able catch falling objects, and even guess the end of movies (perfect for someone who loves knowing the plot before it even begins). However, this acceptance has taken an incredibly long time. For me it took 4 years since my diagnosis, and 18 from the time I was born. Same with my parents. The journey is hard, and autism sucks, but it is also gets better and easier as life goes on. In support groups we should be able to confidently say "this is shit", "it's hard", "i hate it for me and my kid", because that's the truth for many, and will remain that way.
@@LaurelKhi just wanted to point out that I think the term you're looking for is neurodivergent. All of humanity is neurodiverse. They are two different terms.
Jen Verwoerd, If you’ve been telling autistic people you want a cure to autism there’s no wonder they have a go at you, desiring a ‘cure’ sends out a very offensive message. It basically means you believe the world would be a better place if they didn’t exist, that you’re suggesting genocide. Some autistic people have committed suicide because of their parents wanting to cure them. If you could be more specific with them and stop placing all the blame on the autism they would be far kinder and tolerant with you, how would you feel if your parents kept telling you the world would be better without you? Communication works in both directions, if there’s communication issues the non autistic people are not trying to understand your son, I suggest you look up the “double empathy problem” and read some of the studies they’ve constructed showing autistic and non autistic people communicate equally well and it’s the mismatches that cause the problems, not the autism.
more voices like you need to be heard. my parents had no idea i was autistic, and neither did i, but the struggles you described your son having are very similar to the ones i went through (and still go through now in my early 20s). i had suspicions that i was different very early on, but only realized i may be autistic around age 19, it took a few years for it to click and here i am... undiagnosed, masked for too long that no one recognizes that i need help, and forced to act like a normal person while going through hell mentally. never got support, never got heard, and barely got by in those years. i'm the oldest, so my parents had to take care of my younger siblings, and because of that none of my needs were met.all i got from my parents was being pressured to do well in school like a normal kid, while my issues adapting and meeting the demads of the educational system got worse. all i can think of on a daily basis is what could have been done better for me so that i'd have a better life now instead of living alone with no desire to interact with others in person, unable to find a job (or function well enough to do and keep one for that matter). i don't want to scare you, my experience in no way reflects what may happen to your son (i know a mother worries the world 10 times over for her children) but i feel like pointers on what i went through could help, even if just a little bit. my advice for you as someone whose life was essentially wasted due to negligence (and now denial of the fact that i have a condition in the first place because "you're normal, you've always been") is to help your son communicate his feelings, don't be afraid to be abstract, like discussing how feeling a certain emotion mentally and physically feels (how fast are your thoughts running? Are you feeling heat in any particular area?...etc. i'm physically sensitive and it's how i've learned to understand what i'm feeling over the years) put up with incessant need for explanation and "why?" questions, because that may be how he forms understanding, or the dots aren't connecting in his mind because he sees a different picture of it in his mind, unlike neurotypical people. for example, i remember asking my mom "why do i have to wear a suit at this event? why does it matter that i look good? why do people care about that if they'll see me normally dressed every other day?...etc." and she yelled at me, and i still don't have an answer to my questions nor do i get why she got angry at me. find alternatives to school if possible, he may be going through a lot more socially than you're even aware and simply does not communicate it, and you can definitely expect that in the teenage phase if it's not happening yet, kids and teens are vicious because they don't get how much their words affect others, and they'll target the low hanging fruit, those who are easy to put down, bully and exclude. if my parents had listened to me and discussed alternative attendance options with my school, i could have studied, completed my homeworks and assignments all from home, and only attended school for the tests and exams, without ever having to put up with these pieces of shit in my class 5 days a week for 12 years, always wondering if there's something wrong with me or if i'm doing wrong, feeling trapped, imprisoned through school attendance, forced to conform in uniform and study in my free time where i had no room to express or explore my interests. i could have socialized by attending local events, going to clubs...etc. but my experiences at school and with people in general made me hate and reject going anywhere like that, and now as an adult i feel so far behind on social skills, and i can't mask on command so it's not easy even going out to buy groceries sometimes. if he has a fascination or obsession with something go 100% in supporting it, it'll probably be his specialty when he grows up. i think back to how many times my parents would unplug my computer when i was having fun learning to mod video games, because "i have to study". or rejecting buying me an instrument to learn music because i'd be too noisy. i never got to explore my passions and my time was wasted on 16 years in the educational system for a degree that isn't what i want to do and isn't even getting me a job. now as an adult i've been conditioned into not doing the things i like because i feel guilty doing it, and instead i spend the time feeling bad about the things i want to be able to do but can't. pretty sure part of it is PTSD, which wouldn't surprise me considering how sensitive to stress and conflict i've always been. knowing how my talents were wasted, when i noticed my younger brother drawing up a very nice doodle and realized he loves art, even though he's not autistic, a bit of encouragement from me and urging my parents to sign him up for art classes after school, now he's a very talented artist with a great job where his artistic skill is involved. apologies if this was too ranty or if it made you worried, i just wanted to let you know that the struggles you go through raising your child are real and it's neither your fault nor the child's fault, humanity as a whole still has not caught up with understanding autism and how best to help raise and integrate those with the condition into society properly. i fight on the daily to not be part of that suicide statistic because i know i am worth more than what this world has made me feel i am, and i do not wish to give up until i can feel relaxed and able to be myself around others without the constant anxiety and certainly without the masking. and if my experience could help someone not go through the same that i did, or do better than my parents unintentionally did, then that is what i set out to do. these social justice narcissist assholes have hijacked every movement, pretending they're part of it and making it all about themselves, ruining things for those of us who actually are part of these demographics. autism is not politics, it's a disorder that people suffer from, both from having it and from having to raise a child with it in an environment that is not for them. bless you, have a good day, and remember that your efforts and struggles are worth it for your child's future regardless of the hand he was dealt in life. wish you and anyone with similar struggles the best. Peace! :)
@@LaurelK happy for you that you got your diagnosis early on and are doing well thanks to the support. it's a tough journey and each of us has a unique one to boot, knowing that others go through the same that i did/do does not bring me comfort, rather it bothers me more that my horrible experiences growing up and dealing with people on top of dealing with my autism that i didn't even know about or understand, aren't just some odd fluke or rare occurrence. and worst of all our voices aren't heard because the loudest ones are narcissistic shitbags who pretend to be autistic to get attention to themselves, not caring how they affect those of us who actually struggle with it nor about the fact that they're exploiting other people's struggles and disability for attention.
Thank you for making this video. As someone who slipped under the cracks and was only diagnosed a few months ago at the age of 23, this video is very insightful and informative. My parents don’t understand the struggles of what people with autism go through especially in making friends and socializing. If it wasn’t so difficult, I wouldn’t be struggling with finding employment!
Ye I'm 45 and have always been treated a bit differently because of my 'ways'. Never been diagnosed officially but have been told by friends I definitely show some tendencies toward 'being on the spectrum'. It's been an incredibly insightful learning process these last 5 or so years, and I welcome Sabine's video. As always Sabine, you manage to speak very planely about things that we're all mostly aware of, yet you pull in excellent supporting ideas and aspects that create a really good overview on matters. Thumbs up to you.
I was just diagnosed at 45. I understand the struggle and the never-ending fear of failure and losing my job. You're right.. Nobody understands unless they lived it themselves.
@Rachel Forshee Wow, what a way to be dismissive. It's not that job opportunities don't exist, but as soon as you disclose your diagnosis "you're not suitable for the job" (unless they can profit from it, in my country you get tax exemptions for hiring disabled people and I've heard of autistic people with college degrees who were asked to do a motivational talk if they wanted to keep their jobs at our JP Morgan's local subsidiary)
"My parents don’t understand the struggles of what people with autism go through especially in making friends and socializing." I have a daughter with border line autism. She could handle reading, math, algebra, communication,. from early on. etc with a little extra effort as well as anyone. She's in college now. She comes across as very shy and awkward at times. If you "slippled under the cracks" for 23 years,.. you don't have autism. That's called being an adolescent. And maybe the covid lockdowns didn't help over the last few years. Focus nnore on getting an education, obtaining the skills and communicating same that will make you more qualified than any competition there might be for the job,.. rather than focusing on the next new fad reason to be a victim,.. that the recent uber sensitive generations seem to be obssessed with,.... and the other,.. the friends, the socilaizing will follow.
I was diagnosed at 64. I'm now 70. What led to my seeking a diagnosis was a deterioration in my social skills. At one point during your discussion you referenced "masking." Before my diagnosis I was doing this though I didn't know the term. Masking takes a lot of energy and, as one gets older, one finds that energy diminished. It's now easier just to be alone.
Crap....I know the feeling. I don't like the idea that my social skills could deteriorate. I've been blaming my increasing social exhaustion on people turning into idiots during the pandemic. I loved being quarantined!
Ditto. I play a game with several ladies once a week and that's about as much as I can take. I don't mask with them to the extent that I used to. Such as, l will now often say what is on my mind or correct someone when they have been misinformed. If they don't like it, oh well. So happy to stay home with two cats and a parrot.
After my menopause I started to not care so much what people think of my idiosyncrasies, and now I just can’t be arsed with masking anymore and I’m totally sick of people’s social crap.
I’m one who fell between the cracks I am now 60 I was diagnosed 12 months ago I really struggled at school but was a cute kid and I bluffed my way through life.Going to school now I think it would have been picked up.I am so glad I worked it out no dr or psychologist has even though I have had cancelling for 30 years I worked it out after doing a course to care for autistic kids and the research led me to a diagnosis after I too did the AQ test on line and got a similar result as this Lady. So nice to understand why my brain works the way it does and why I hear see things differently to most.
I'm autistic and live in Eastern Europe. I went to school in the city center and high school on the edge of the city, and it wasn't that bad in school compared to high school. It's a different world in how i was threated. There were few weird or emo kids in every class, while others were in their own groups. Kids from vilages were primitive beyond belief.
I am 73 and have known that I was very different. God gave me enough brains that I was able to figure out how to blend in and make it through school and the military (during Nam). I could have been an engineer had I been given the correct help growing up. I started life out with all the bad symptoms and had to overcome the important ones to prosper.
I've read comments by people that were treated by Autism Speaks, or directly knew people that underwent treatment. It was basically punishing children so they stop behaving a certain way, for example by shocking them. It really reminds me of gay conversion therapy. I have no first-hand experience with them, but I know enough to recommend more research into what they're actually doing rather than what they say they're doing.
Given anything of this sort ofcause its important to anylize without predjudice first. Given the controvertial nature of the conversation it basically means that its entrenched possitions eager for ammunition to confirm their standpoint and marginaliaisation of anyone that disagrees. TLDR: if youve ever been on the reciveing end of a drama you know just how utterly bonkers some of the accusations can get as people rile them selfs up so investigation should be done with a level head first and foremost so one can sort out the percieved evils from the acthual ones.
they have tried to demonize and pathologize autism to a crazy degree, inflating, misrepresenting, or often just outright lying about statistics associated with it. they paint autism as a "disease" that needs to be "cured" (how? by donating to autism speaks, of course), and have pushed the idea that vaccines cause autism, talking out of both sides of their mouth, carrying water for the anti-vax movement while refusing to publicly adopt an antivax stance because it would be credibility suicide. again, despite scientific research showing, for decades of studies now, that there is no correlation between vaccines and autism. one of their executives actually resigned over this, because they were putting so much of their money towards investigating a supposed autism-vaccine link that has been investigated EXTENSIVELY for decades, never finding any evidence - rather than, you know, productive research that actually benefits autistic people. for the record, thiomersal, the vaccine preservative that antivaxxers believe causes autism, was phased out of vaccines by the CDC in 1999. it's no longer in vaccines, and autism diagnoses have only continued to increase, hugely, after its removal. this autism-vax theory has been called "one of the most damaging medical hoaxes of the 21st century", not just because it has diverted so many resources away from productive autism research, but because it's caused parents to push damaging quack "treatments" on their kids, like chelation therapy, where practitioners have been found faking heavy-metal poisoning diagnoses to trick parents into accepting the procedure on their kids. Autism Speaks has used their institutional credibility and visibility to directly push autism fearmongering and conspiracy theories, to the detriment of many autistic kids, who i might add, have no medical autonomy or ability to advocate for themselves, because they are autistic kids.
I was diagnosed on the 6th of November last year, less then 2 months ago, i got my assessment via my mums doctor who passed from dementia at home, I was her principle carer, for 4 years, one day her doctor came to visit towards the end, took one look at me and offered me support there and then and i was under the mental health nurse, I decided to go for an autism assessment knowing i probably had it and partly at the pushing of my sis in law who is a teacher of autistic children among others, know you know Sab why I come over as being on 'the wrong planet', thanks for doing this by the way, its very informative, and what you say in my experience is true.
Love your wit! "I'm just rude, or German - but then I repeat myself." Thanks for covering this. My son was diagnosed with ASD recently as a teen, and it seems to make sense given his symptoms. It has been interesting reading on the subject to try to understand more. There's so much diversity among those with ASD, it's difficult to impossible to generalize. But as a parent of a kid who, while able to do many things on his own ("high functioning"), it has been beyond painful to watch him struggle with the things others can do. My son's biggest struggle is reading - a task nearly everyone in society assumes everyone can do. One of the major challenges for him is that it's a hidden disorder. He looks like others, and so others tend to assume he is as able as them. So, to hear you mention that some are self-diagnosing as if it were a fashion label is beyond infuriating. Again, thanks for covering this.
I'm autistic (diagnosed as an adult), and I think the term "disorder" is perfectly applicable. Rather than interpreting it as "something wrong," I think of the term as simply meaning "out of the ordinary." Regardless, my condition (well, conditions - I'm also trying to get a diagnosis and hopefully medication for ADHD) has made my life insanely difficult. Despite some "experts" pretending to try to diagnose it when I was a kid in the 90s, they never actually gave me a proper diagnosis, and I never received the support I desparately needed. Now I'm 36, still living with family, on benefits, struggling constantly with severe anxiety and depression, and _still_ unable to find mental health support beyond generic, one-size-fits-all treatments like CBT. I feel like I've just been left to rot.
I was diagnosed as an adult. It's been a wonderful revelation that has improved my life considerably. Knowing what my challenges are lets me properly handle them. Of course, I had to handle my challenges before, but I was trying to handle them like a normal person does, and that is NOT the way I needed to handle things. Now I can tell when I'm doing too much, and can stop before I have a meltdown and collapse into a tearful puddle (Which looks really weird when you're 5'10" 280lbs, in your 30's, and can't bring yourself to go play D&D with your friends tonight because you had to talk to 4 or 5 people on the phone today) It's been a revelation to my friends and family too. It's given them a lot of tools to help support me. In retrospect, it was actually very obvious, and my parents were quite upset they didn't realize it sooner. I'm glad that it's becoming well known and understood. My symptoms are, on the whole, mild, and I mask well. I had been simply written off as 'he's a little odd but I don't know if I'd say there was anything wrong with him'. I would certainly not be doing as well as I am today if I had never been told about it.
@@unotwotriquatre Not the same person, but as someone who was first diagnosed at 38, I chose to answer anyway. I think a major reason why it feels like that is because we understand ourselves much better. Why we react or do the stuff we do. For me, my diagnosis was the answer to my questions about myself.
@@Elora445 Many thanks for your answer :) have you tried psychoanalysis before seeking a diagnosis? That's the kind of therapy which usually helps you understand the why's of your behavior and feelings. For example, I think you wouldn't need a diagnosis to identify that you feel bad at places with loud music because you're more sensitive to this stimulus.
@@unotwotriquatre Things like that is quite obvious, yes. I used to say I was born with all my nerves on the outside instead. So yeah, kind of sensitive. It's more minor stuff. For example, I have always had a poor sense of location but never known why (no, I can not learn it as many others can - Google Maps is a savior), but apparently that is very common among those of us that are autistic. Not all autistic people and all that. So researching everything about autism, I found so many answers to questions about myself. Also started to forgive myself much more (hope that makes sense in English). Instead of beating myself down every time I'm "odd".
@@Elora445 I didn't know that a poor sense of location was also a sympton, I also have that lol (among many other symptoms; I'm seeing a psychoanalist who's conducting some tests and therapy, I'm 25). But like, what exactly did you do with the diagnosis? Did you just start to adopt a mindset of "I'm like that because I'm autistic, that's just the way I am" or did it also change your behavior somehow?
Hey, awesome video! Just wanted to point something out. Autism Speaks isn't only controversial for what you said, they also have done adds such as "I am autism" in which the narrator (the "voice of autism") threats families with divorce and unhappiness. Yup. The management of the fundraising money has also been frequently questioned, among other stuff. Please be careful with Autism Speaks!
@@the11382 Holy hell, seriously? The Judge Rotenberg Center was condemned by the United Nations Specual Rapporteur for Torture. It has endured against bipartisan political support due to big monetary interests. Matthew Israel founded it with inspiration from a fictional utopia that he read about at university. He tried utilizing his methods with children, but found he didn't have enough control because their parents were too concerned for their well-beings. So, he moved on to autistic people - specifically and primarily, people of color from New York City who happen to be autistic. At the Judge Rotenberg Center, employees strapped an autistic child to a four-point board and administred torture via electric shocks. The boy had burn marks because he was shocked so much. The punishment was because he didn't remove his jacket in a manner that the employees deemed timely. People have gotten away with torture of autistic children in Massachusetts, USA.
Autism Speaks advocates for "curing" autism; Autism is a neural condition that literally cannot be cured. It seems like their interest is curing the world of autism, which is why them funding a project seeking to genetically map autism was so controversial. Also yeah it's been found that the vast, vast majority of their funding goes into horrific advertisements that frame autism as something that ruins your children and their lives and will ruin everything.
@non-adjective I think you're suffering from social psychology's fundamental attribution error. It's laughable to accuse Sabine of being afraid of peer review. Most channels just use pre-made filter lists that are available on the Internet. Most channels would have a terrible comment section if they didn't. If you do know for sure that certain phrases are being blocked that shouldn't, just write around them 🤷
As a female young adult who have spectrum itself, this video was very educative and relatable for me. I'm accepted what I'm am. Sometimes, I'm was lonely and sad because my classmates are enjoying their high school life and mine wasn't. I'm felt I'm a different than others. Scolded by the High School teacher was my biggest weakness. When my teacher was scolded, the anger was uncontrolled and I'm throwing my notebook and luckily, it's not directly hit by them. When they said "Get Out!!!!!" I'm was sent to the guidance room. Because of this, I'm trying to "end my life" because I'm not belong them. However, my mom tells me that don't try. Yet, I'm a individual with full of dreams, but depressing experience.
One of my high school teachers yelled at me and told me I'd never amount to anything. Jr. High and High School sucked so bad. I deal with depression and anxiety almost on a daily basis but it's getting better. I'm in therapy now and can say it's helped. Maybe not a lot but enough for me to keep doing it. Every little bit helps. Don't give up and don't worry about "belonging" to a group of people who don't want to understand. There are many people out there that will like you for who you are. Just DON'T GIVE UP! Us who understand love you.
The school years are the most difficult years in life because teachers have authority and young people have to try to adjust to this confusing world. The rest of life after school will be much better, just hang in there and slide through it. You will forget all about your teacher and any situations you're in right now and they will seem like a distant nightmare of the past. Everything else in life is easier than school because everything else is optional - you can choose to study and do something that you like (or at least don't hate), mostly choose people with whom you spend majority of your time etc. You will be able to make your own decisions. I was very depressed as a bullied child and teenager who was always excluded and weird, but I have been becoming a bit happier with every year as an adult and I'm very happy with my life now at 33. Hang in there, it's worth it ❤
There was a time where peolle would hide having "issues" such as autism or ADHD, not even so long ago, even for example 20 years ago high school kids would have ASD and yet be COMPLETELY normal, indistinguishable from any other person to an amazing degree. This is because before social media crybabies, peolle were mean and you had to be "tough" to survive and or thrive. So you had many peolle wkth "issues" that either never even knew they had it or managed very well in coping with it and even thriving because they knew it was either that or everyone would think they're weird or laugh at them. Unfortunately these days, everyone's a crybaby and nearly EVERYONE wants to tell everyone how they have this or that and expect everyone to say "omg I'm so sorry, I'll be so much nicer to you now. Wanna be friends. Let's give you money and attention". I'm not saying that some peolle with ASD or other "issues" back then didn't go home and feel pretty bad having to live a "double life", but on the other hand many people gained strength and true confidence from having to thrive in HARSSH and tough conditions and reality. Today, people will cry or end themselves if the pressure gets too tough or one mean "bully" makes a joke. 20-30 years ago bullies made people tough. Today. Bullies no longer exist or have been pressured by the crybabies to vanish. Oh how social media has changed the younger gen. Gen z is the weakest, saddest, most insecure, most desperate,.most gullible, and most pathetic generation of ALL time. Idk how gen z will survive without their parents. Remember the "idiot movie" where the guy goes to the future and realizes he's the smartest person because everyone else is extremely stupid. That's the direction we seem to be heading. If you don't have to push yourself to gain knowledge or be tough or learn how to fit in with "bullies" or people who can easily push you around or make fun of you, your how will you thrive? Expecting and forcing everyone through guilt tripping them online behind a screen to be nice or be canceled is beyond pathetic. But that's just me. Anyone who went to hs even 20 years ago and especially 30-40 years ago will sigh at today's kids
@@revolruf There was a time where peolle would hide having "issues" such as autism or ADHD, not even so long ago, even for example 20 years ago high school kids would have ASD and yet be COMPLETELY normal, indistinguishable from any other person to an amazing degree. This is because before social media crybabies, peolle were mean and you had to be "tough" to survive and or thrive. So you had many peolle wkth "issues" that either never even knew they had it or managed very well in coping with it and even thriving because they knew it was either that or everyone would think they're weird or laugh at them. Unfortunately these days, everyone's a crybaby and nearly EVERYONE wants to tell everyone how they have this or that and expect everyone to say "omg I'm so sorry, I'll be so much nicer to you now. Wanna be friends. Let's give you money and attention". I'm not saying that some peolle with ASD or other "issues" back then didn't go home and feel pretty bad having to live a "double life", but on the other hand many people gained strength and true confidence from having to thrive in HARSSH and tough conditions and reality. Today, people will cry or end themselves if the pressure gets too tough or one mean "bully" makes a joke. 20-30 years ago bullies made people tough. Today. Bullies no longer exist or have been pressured by the crybabies to vanish. Oh how social media has changed the younger gen. Gen z is the weakest, saddest, most insecure, most desperate,.most gullible, and most pathetic generation of ALL time. Idk how gen z will survive without their parents. Remember the "idiot movie" where the guy goes to the future and realizes he's the smartest person because everyone else is extremely stupid. That's the direction we seem to be heading. If you don't have to push yourself to gain knowledge or be tough or learn how to fit in with "bullies" or people who can easily push you around or make fun of you, your how will you thrive? Expecting and forcing everyone through guilt tripping them online behind a screen to be nice or be canceled is beyond pathetic. But that's just me. Anyone who went to hs even 20 years ago and especially 30-40 years ago will sigh at today's kids
BTW I took a basic autism test online and it said I'm not autistic, but maybe very slight autism. Took the RAADS test meant for those who can avoid detection, got a 94 out of 240 which means strong autism indicator (though it also says people without autism may score this high also). Idk what counts as autism. If I have some traits that autistic people have, I'm not certain that makes me autistic because otherwise many people would be. I'm not anxious in public or public speaking and can make friends or relationships easily, but I also enjoy spending as much time alone as possible and am very picky and choosy who I want to have relationships or friendships with. These tests are flawed for people who aren't one dimensional. It assumes everyone is either one way or another way. Makes sense since most people grew up and went into psychology being exactly one way with no deviation and assume "normal" people are also all one dimensionsal
I was diagnosed at 49. This was a transformative moment for me and was very liberating since it explained many difficulties I had experienced in life and which I had considered being my fault for « being weird ». I strongly recommend that those who think they may be on the spectrum get diagnosed.
Congratulations on getting a diagnosis! I'm in the process at age 42, but main difficulty is no adult diagnosticians in my area. My GP, OT, Psychiatrist and Psychologist all think I'm most likely autistic, but unfortunately they can't diagnose and there are limited adult diagnosticians in my State at all. It will take a few trips to see a someone (10hr return trip by car, or 13hrs on bus) so that adds to the stress and expense of getting formally diagnosed. The travel and accommodation (including a support worker, staying overnight or longer) doesn't work out very cheap, and assessment and consult is expensive. I'm diagnosed with "Atypical ADHD." When I went for my diagnosis at 31yrs autism and ADHD were mutually exclusive diagnostically. My psychiatrist believed he had some patients with both, "ADHD with additional symptoms outside the diagnostic criteria" which he suspected was co-occuring ASD so had added the Atypical.
I knew someone who for a while thought she was autistic and had ADHD and decided to correlate every non "neurotypical" thing to her self diagnosis. She really romanticized the hell out of it and was basically on par with the astrology people who use their sign as a way to dodge accountability. That was until she paid a fuckton of money for a professional ASD test and they told her "you don't have autism". Suddenly, like day and night, she stopped all that nonsense and did not use "I'm autistic" as an excuse anymore. In reality, she was just sheltered most of her life with only a limited viewpoint on society. Of course this is not to invalidate those who are actually diagnosed, but we truly live in a society...one that lets people pretend that being depressed, autistic, obese, have ADHD, OCD, Tourette's (yall remember ticsandroses?), etc... is something to be envied. It should be acknowledged but not idolized for sympathy and clout.
To be fair adhd and asd in women has like 60 - 80 percent overlap. She's not that far off. And the provider could have been wrong. This happens a lot when women with level 1 asd get evaluated. Just saying.
My son has Aspergers, he was diagnosed almost a year ago, at the age of 11. He has a "high functioning" form (high IQ, excellent marks in school, no speech problems whatsoever), but he always had his "quirks" (i.e. peculiarities with food, problems with sleep, general sensitivity + obsession with weather/cosmology/physics -- we watch this channel together :-). We lived in Kyiv, Ukraine - so when the war started, it has affected him greatly, he went into complete meltdown and shutdown. We turned to psychologists/ psychiatrists for help for what we thought was PTSD/depression, but it turned out that on top of that, he had an ASD as a "base". I was crushed with this diagnosis at first, but later I accepted it, and it even made easier for me to accept and deal with his "peculiarities". He is absolutely unique, I would not change a thing about him, I love him so much.
Slava Ukraini! So sorry your family experienced that trauma. When my son was diagnosed, it opened my eyes and I realized that I (computer programmer), my father (electrical engineer) and his father (engineer and avid coin collector) were also likely on the spectrum. If anything, I think that has helped my son, because I can say "you're like me" and he doesn't feel like he's doomed or a freak - he sees that I'm doing okay and a good person and knows he will be too.
@@kylefrandsen2665 Glory to the Heroes! Its great that you have (and you are) a positive role model for your son. We now think that my husband might be on a spectrum too, he is a creative director with his own quirks, so I always attributed those quirks to his profession and not to any medical condition - could be wrong). We also have 8 grand parents and great-grand parents as engineers, so that might be a sign as well))). Thank you for your supportive message, all the best to your son and to you!
@@kareoka77 Working in I.T. and growing up surrounded by people from JPL/Caltech, I think the quirks find the career - not the other way around 😁. I think it's one of the reasons I was never diagnosed. In that crowd I'm "normal".
It's mostly down to Big Pharma wanting to drug kids, and Big Psychiatry profiteering by continuously broadening the scope of an illness so more and more are diagnosed. This is combined with a polarised, schizoid world, with two awful Western ideological factions, Libs and Cons, who's deeply confused, fundamentally dissonant ideals are rammed down Kids brains... Social norms changing faster than you can change sex, which is now rather rapid, and also a neo norm for neo-people. Formal language and slang changing so quickly half the kids are better at communicating using emojis and adults don't understand what they're going on about. -- Autism is so liberally polluted as a diagnosis it now means a state of social and cognitive confusion, which the Neo World Order breeds faster than it can mass import foreigners from the 2nd and 3rd world. The fact they call it Classical Autism is a liberal joke. They know full well Autism is now a Cash Cow pushed by Big Pharma, Big Psychiatry and an owned MSM.
@@kylefrandsen2665 Exactly. My best programmer was on the spectrum - had severe difficulties reading non-verbal cues etc, but once she decided we were "all right" and that our jokes were not targeted at her, we functioned perfectly (until she found a job with conditions I could not match 😞). We are still in occasional contact.
So I was diagnosed with ASD when I was 12, and have had this diagnosis confirmed several times throughout my life. I also studied this for 4 years in college I think Sabine is right on the money, the changes in diagnosis with the DSM really have shifted what most people are diagnosed with when they get a diagnosis of "Autism". Current ASD covers both the classic depiction of Autism and several other cases, which can be confusing for people who still think ASD is only like what you see in something like Rain Man
Exactly. My autistic daughter would have been one of the 5 previous conditions that existed in the spectrum, multiple dev delays. She has a cousin who is truly autistic, ie, he would have had the diagnosis in prior times. I didn't like the rolling it all into one, as I think it isn't specific enough for those who need to accommodate it. That said, at least within our school system, the individual matters, not the diagnosis.
And whast the point of this classification? You feel special and they get paid? I bet if i went id be diagnosed with something but ive just accepted i am who am and unless im having seriouse problems i dont see the point of all this , I already know im special and uqique, whats the ponit of paying a doctor to tell me?
@mike jones special and unique don't get you assistance in learning how to navigate the world, accommodations at work that allow you to be employed, and an understanding of why you're unique. No one needs to tell you if you're missing a leg, but it's sure nice to have a prosthesis. And I have a diagnosis for you, but it'll get me banned :) Seriously, just because you're not able to understand something, doesn't mean it's wrong.
@@mikejones-vd3fg Therapy, individualized education programs, special needs, coping strategies, just to name a few things that have helped me. Knowing I am on the spectrum has enabled me to seek resources that are out there, resources that are the ONLY reason I can currently hold a job, go to school etc. Prior to my diagnosis I was suspended several times in Middle school because I just... didn't know how to function. I would get into fights, refuse to do work, had meltdowns, etc. It was very bad, my parents considered pulling me out of school and homeschooling me. Once I got my diagnosis, I was put on a path that helped me to figure myself out and become a functioning adult. I think it's really sad that you don't see how getting medical help can be literally life changing for some people just because you've decided that it won't work for you. Nonetheless, I genuinely hope you are right, and that you've got it all figured out and don't need a doctor to help you.
Excellent video, I consider myself pretty well educated on asd, especially since a somewhat late diagnosis at 28 and I learned some valuable new things from watching this. I do have one (I don’t want to say criticism) thing I would like to point out and emphasise, a lot of the issues surrounding Autism Speaks are based off of their discriminatory and demeaning attitudes towards the neurodiverse. They were criticised for not allowing any people with asd be a part of their board of directors or in advisory roles, and when this criticism reached them the response was that people with asd wouldn’t be able to fulfil the requirements and are also unable to fully manage their own finances so they wouldn’t be paid by autism speaks if they did hire any. Further to this they have historically geared themselves towards implying asd is a burden for the parents and their support focuses more on giving the parents emotional support for dealing with an autistic child. Additionally they promote and suggest many interventions that require physical restraint or in some cases outright abuse of the person with asd. A notable example being the time they “advised” Sia to include a restraint scene where the autistic character is pinned to the ground by their caregiver, an intervention which has lead to the death of autistic people in the past. There is a very valid animosity towards Autism Speaks and it goes a lot further than just people with autism on twitter being militant. It was the only part of the video where my heart sank a little, because the information and critiques are well founded and easy to find online. I think your video was fantastic aside from this and really beautifully balanced in a way that you’re always so good at! With that being said… I think you are probably autistic 🫣❤
As a mom of a teen diagnosed with (mild) ASD and also an expat from ‘developing country’ to a ‘developed’ one this is my take on some of the points raised: 1. Increased diagnosis rates in developed countries are linked to the way health care system is organized. One needs to be diagnosed to receive a referral and insurance/government coverage of the costs of treatments/therapies. In developing countries diagnosis by itself does not give access to such programs so often kids with ‘mild symptoms’ go to speech and behavior therapies without being diagnosed. This also elevates the need to be confronted with the stigma of diagnosis for all the participants which sadly enough reinforces the stigma. 2. Developed countries tend to be more urbanized with higher intensity of social interactions in kids life. Those kids who are ‘a bit odd’ when in small primary school of a small community tend to be accepted just the way they are. This is often facilitated by close ties of their families with the community. If no switch is needed btw primary/secondary/high school due to different structures in education system the acceptance stays with the kid as it ages and no need to ‘fit in’ yet another group highlights their ‘divergence’. Such set up limits the ‘need’ to be diagnosed. 3. The ‘mild’ autism now tends to become a bit of a ‘dump’ for ‘a bit odd’ kiddo’s of the past because in the past life points 1. and 2. were true for all the societies. By the end of the day however even now if asd manifestation is relatively mild the most all ‘interventions’ can yield is to teach one to organize his/her life in the most comfortable and suitable way for his/her needs and to accept differences between people. Nothing much different to what a good parent advises/does for it’s kid anyway.
Personally I think it's more to do with society than individuals. A lot of the "help" that's offered, is help to function within a society that does not work for them, it's trying to teach them how to conform to make it easier to integrate them into a system that has no place for them. In order to help other people and society deal with them, more than to help them have better lives. It's sort of like trying to train a fish to live on land because the land creatures don't want to get wet. In a smaller group and more close knit society like you're talking about, where individuals have more value and are often accepted and integrated into the whole despite relatively minor differences, this would not be necessary. A smaller society is more flexible and an individual in a smaller society has much more power to adapt that society to their own needs instead of the other way around. People that are different are only considered to be "a problem" and in need of "treatment" if they disrupt established society in some way, a smaller and therefor less rigid society, could adapt to new elements without being significantly disrupted, which would be better both for the society and the individual considered to be different. America in particular is an extremely capitalist society and culture, all forms of achievement is measured in money, fame, status, etc, and this definition of success is what their cultural identity equates to a happy life. An autistic person is unlikely to do well in this framework, but the "normal" person will try to force them to fit into this framework to give them the "successful" and "happy life" and think they're doing a good thing. And this in turn will make the autistic person feel like a failure, or like they simply don't understand world around them at all. So it's the society and culture that decides that they're "wrong", if society didn't do this then many could function just fine and there would be no need for a diagnosis or to provide them with "help". To say "I don't care about your definition of success and I'm perfectly happy without it" is almost incomprehensible to many Americans. And that's the problem with society, "normal" just means who conforms the most to a society, and anything that deviates too much is considered a threat, something to be fixed or eliminated. But even societies diverge from each other, what is normal in one would not necessarily be normal in another. So even the framework for how these things are "diagnosed" isn't consistent across the board. And people will often diverge more radially the more constrained their society becomes, as sort of social counter measure to extremism and the stagnation which comes with excessive conformity. Which ultimately leads to civil unrest, protests, reform, or even civil war, etc. So many so called "diagnosis" is a direct response to a sick society and actually more of a social immune system response than a psychological disorder.
"mild"autism. In other words he just doesn't really get in the way of others. Yet, when he finds his voice and suddenly does start to go against the grain I wonder if you'd update his autism to "severe"
I was diagnosed sometime between 03-05, and they used the term Asperger's syndrome for me. I don't know the time table for when Asperger's fell out of use in terms of the psychology experts, but I know for a fact that it's still a commonly used term among the social circles of everyday people. That's probably why elon and others used the term and continue to these days.
Yes, I'd rather call myself "a bit aspy" than say "autism" - I had a girlfriend whose son is severely autistic and developmentally retarded; there's no comparison with me, or with anyone able to post comments here. I think most people understand Asperger's as a concept better than ASD.
@@sanderhansen7036 This is rather strange to me, because in my social circles, just about everyone knows that Asperger's syndrome is an old term - it may help that many of my friends are still 19-20 and thus have no memory of the times when Asperger's was a common term.
Some just like to keep the distinction between the two, both people with ASD and professionals. Personally I do find it odd, and more than a bit ironic, that a condition characterised by tendencies to over systematise and categorise is one which ends up being changed to be *less* distinct instead of more. Doubly so when you consider that people that would otherwise have been diagnosed not with autism but PDD-NOS instead are also now classed as Autistic, so not only were the existing boundaries removed they were expanded. Yes there are now 'levels' of Autism, but it's just not the same. Especially considering that 'Level 1' Autism lumps together both people that pass as normal, albeit a bit quirky and eccentric but are probably the ones that stay quiet, or put on a mask, because they still have enough social awareness to know to keep those thoughts to themselves; and the ones that lack any form of social awareness and so end up being more than a bit inappropriate and unable to tell when they're annoying the people around them. So to me it would make sense to keep a distinction between Aspergers and High Functioning Autism.
My son was diagnosed at 6. He had delayed speech and digestion problems. Now he is 13 and like a typical 13 year old never stops talking! He was bullied in 1st grade because he was still in diapers. We had to take him out of public school because of this. It took two years to find a school that would accept him! The prejudice against autistic kids is a big problem and kids that are different in general. I was different also and bullied in elementary school. My father also.
@@Skozerny Yes it sucks and can cause permanent psychological damage. My son was bullied by a teacher! It doesn't have to be tolerated just because it was in the past! Now kids cyberbully which is just as bad. Yes, even I used to tease younger kids but not bully them. Bullying is mean and cruel and meant to harm that is why it is wrong and bad.
I was diagnosed with autism at 20, and ADHD at 23. Unfortunately late diagnosis really messed up my life. No one took my issues seriously and assumed I was being lazy, I have C-PTSD from my upbringing and am still reparenting myself now at 25 to be more compassionate to msyelf and respect my additional needs
I hear that. I was 28 when I found out. It's rough, but I also know it might have been worse if I'd found out younger as a lot of the treatments for autism when I was a kid were less than compassionate. I've heard plenty of horror stories about ABA from people who were diagnosed as kids.
Likewise. I was diagnosed with autism at 22, as well as generalized and social anxiety disorder with OCD and PTSD. Therapy wasn't helping, I don't have any friends, not even online. Abused by both parents. All I want is to have a friend, someone that understands. :(
I was diagnosed 7 years ago as an adult. I was told that under the new guidelines I have ASD (Autism spectrum disorder) but that under the old guidelines, I would have been considered to have Asperger's, confirming what you said. The specialist who diagnosed me then told me that in about 20 years, there will be no such thing as autism at all because everyone will just be considered "individuals and different". That sounded rather stupid to me as a lot of people with autism need extra help with certain things. I could have definitely done with more support when I was younger, I can tell you. So I'm not sure what to believe anymore. I feel that yet again, politics has crept into healthcare and does not favours to anyone in the process.
Agree. I was diagnosed in adulthood after having some problems. I found the online social justice aspect to autism to be unhelpful and toxic. These people will say I have internalized ableism lol They are not about diversity as they claim to be. You follow their script or they will silence you
I looked up the "symptoms" of Asperger's, and discovered I have most of them. One "symptom" is "restricted and repetitive interests." Well, so what? I consider it a virtue! After all, if I want to accomplish anything (such as writing a book), I would have to do the same thing, day after day, until the book is finished. Only a fool would say that's bad.
@@davidlafleche1142 These symptoms are interconnected. "restricted and repetetive interests", yes, but if you'd rather pee yourself than stopping to engage in said interests, chance is higher that it actually is autism. It's complicated to diagnose other than just tick a number of boxes in a questionnaire and add the positives to get the result. Also, for me, a major difference is that even after i got professionally diagnosed, i refused to believe that i'm autistic and fact checked for over a year until i finally acknowlegded that i'm ASD. Then there are the people that hear from ASD in a couple of youtube videos, then go out and tell everyone: "hey, did you know i'm autistic?", which to me seems more like attention seeking. Short version: If you want to know, get diagnosed by a professional.
I naturally grasp the intentions of people through their tone, pitch, gestures, standing pose, manners and clothes. I quite study them and I'm never wrong. Empathy is a whole another topic. And just realized how much it is difficult for me to keep eye contact: I'm at a shop dealing with customers. I always feel I'm acting my mood.
I feel like this is the most concise explanation of ASD I've ever heard. I've long suspected that I may have that but it's such an umbrella term that it looks differently for everyone. It certainly wasn't what people were screening children for when I was a kid in the early to mid nineties. I've always had issues with eye contact, random obsessions, inability to interpret facial expressions and definitely masking. Anyway thanks for your videos! I've been watching you for about a year now whenever I wanna get my physics kick lo.
Sabine’s sarcasm is everything…. “I've been told I'm rude, arrogant, talk like a robot, am about as empathetic as a brick and similarly spontaneous but considerably less social. I think that’s wrong and I’m really just rude or German, but then I repeat myself.”
While supporting that German steryotype, she really destroys the one that says Germans aren't funny
@@kylenetherwood8734 that's about the German humour you'd expect. It's very dry often very sarcastic. Sometimes it's so dry other cultures don't even recognise it as humour, which I think is where that stereotype comes from.
German wit often hits hard about 10 seconds after the joke is made.
German humor, it's no laughing matter
I would find her an agreeable social companion; dining or fishing. I am comfortable not being the smartest in the room; Character is most important.
There's definitely a fine line between normalization and romanticization, I've found it helpful to not consider my neurodivergent traits "weird" but it also feels odd to call them especially "good", they just are and I'm just me
I absolutely agree. As an autistic person, I feel extremely uncomfortable when someone says autism is a superpower, not a disability. It kind of denies the fact that we have to go through so much struggle, need therapy and guidance to survive in a neurotypical society and it creates the illusion that all autistic people are misunderstood geniuses. Heck, I wish I was. I'm just a regular queer autistic with an average IQ who's lucky enough to have a job.
While I don't hate my autism and learned to accept myself, I wouldn't wish others to be born autistic because of what I went through myself. I wish society would stop treating autism as a horrible disease and give us the support we need to become functioning members of society. But nobody should ever wish for being an autistic person either. A disability is never something desirable.
@@NoxAtlas
Disabilities are context related, disabilities like autism are not disabilities by themselves but become a disability caused by the environment and social settings.
Like no one was ever seen as intellectually disabled before the social settings became universal literacy. It was a change of settings that caused intellectual disability.
Covid lock down was a change of social settings and the environment, autistic children excelled when remote learning before returning to schools, and development of things like motor skills rapidly developed. In the settings of lock down the parents were actually thinking they were just seeing things, it's as if their children were not autistic.
Each time we change the environment, the social settings or both, who's disabled changes.
Neurodiversity advocates say we should not forget about or ignore the positives when trying to help overcome the challenges.
It's been discovered that autistic people in general can outperform nonautistic people at the RPMT test, autistic people tend to naturally complete it 40% faster. The difference between the IQ tests and RPMT test is the RPMT test doesn't involve language, it appears language is some kind of barrier for those of us autistic. Even the intellectually disabled who do things like line objects up as an activity outperform nonautistic people.
@@NoxAtlas All people diagnosed with Autism need to speak out against vaccines.
@@NoxAtlasIt’s only a disability because NT’s treat people who are different than themselves as trash. I’ve found that minimizing contact with NT’s has been very good for my mental health.
@@NoX-512Well... Does that improve personal issues with executive functioning as well then?
As a Dad with a 19 yrs old severely autistic son, what happened to him was the paras in school treated him like a boy who just wasn't trying to apply himself.They were confrontational towards him. Made his life and our life hell, until we realized they were ill-equipped to help him. He dramatically improved once we took him out of that special ed class. Wasted two years of his high school, and did major damage to his development. Don't always trust those who say we know best.
paras? the crab mushroom pokemon? those things are pretty crafty..
My sister faced the same thing in the 60’s. They didn’t have a name for it back then. She was quiet, thoughtful and highly intelligent and retained information (that interested her specific passion at the time) like no one else could. But they yelled at her, punished her, even spanked her in school, which was allowed back then) to try and push her to integrate better. It crushed her spirit and set her back years. Later she would go on to get two 4 year Bachelor’s degrees in just 5 total years. She still is emotionally about 6 but she can carry a conversation that is within her area of interest with a passionate genius level professor from a nearby university…as long as there is no stress and she doesn’t have to look you in the eye or figure out emotion or humor…. A doctor told my parents all those years ago “If she gets difficult just “tune her up” (meaning corporal punishment and yelling or isolating her and blaming her for her failures). I think how if she was born today what a wonderful life she might have had.
good on you for taking your son's development into your own hands
My diagnosis is PDD-NOS. Just diagnose me as a freak. ASD is a worthless diagnosis to me.
I wish I had someone like you in my life when I was in high school. I had the same situation: "Why don't you apply yourself? You have a gift you shouldn't waste it!"
Yeah well, if it was a gift I should be able to return it. I knew more than my teachers about the subjects they were teaching, but I never did any homework so they begrudgingly graduated me with a D average.
I was diagnosed with ADHD and ASD, it's not a gold medal to wear. The truth is we're not all Elon Musk and Einsteins, the majority of us are struggling and not in the way that is cool. Ruined relationships, self harm, aggression (like throwing things, punching walls), obsession that consumes your entire life, coming off too strong in social interaction, poor work life, disorganisation. Dude, this is not sexy or cool at all... why do you want to wear this as a medal? I make minimum wage, I flunked out of college because I was focused on judo, I struggle with managing my finances. I take medications and go to therapy to minimise it and people want to flaunt it????
You grow as a person each time you overcome an obstacle. When life throws more obstacles your way, it's also a chance to grow more. People who wear autism as a medal are people who realized that all of the challenges they had to face made them better in the long run.
When you finish a regular marathon, you also get a medal. And you deserve it for all the pain you had to endure to get to the finish line. Finishing marathon is not easy, most people can't do it. No one says our challenges are easy. It's the opposite - our challenges are very real and we are not flaunting them. We are flaunting ourselves because we have to live with them, we walk the harder way and yet we still go forward.
Everything bad can be turned into something good. Me being scared so often among people only helped me become brave. There is no bravery without fear. Having few quality relationships just made the ones I have that much stronger. These are just two examples.
I would not want to change myself now despite my struggles because I can see they come with the bad as well as with the good. It's just who I am. I hope your therapies will help you see the good side too. The struggles will never disappear but I can learn how to live with them.
@@PeterResponsibleHave you ever read "Candide" by Voltaire? The entire novel is a brilliant, scathing satire of this idea, i.e. "we all live in the best possible of worlds". It's a classic, and I recommend you read it, especially if you don't believe that's what your reasoning ultimately implies.
There is way more to life than "growth" or "self-improvement" or whatever. Namely, and central to autism, there are relationships with others. Our society is pathologically obsessed with self-improvement--and the self generally. What good is a self without others? There is having a partner, and children, and a community. Life is short, and if one doesn't make certain milestones with regard to career development, pairing with a spouse, having children, etc., you don't get that time back. From a sociocultural perspective, what good is "self-improvement" if one blows past those milestones in the life cycle? Sure, it can be rewarding. But again: what about the other people in my life. (I am 44, and just found out that I am autistic after a lifetime of people telling me "oh, you are so bright, what's your excuse"?) I do not expect a lifetime without disappointment. And yes, I know there are people who have it worse. But they aren't me. I live my life, not theirs. And the life that I have lived has been one of a fairly attractive, good-willed person who just hasn't been able to navigate the world nor his own life in it to get from point A to point B to point [where most of my peers ar. If it were possible to still make those milestones, it would be easier to be optimistic. People usually respond to this with, "Everyone is unique, don't compare yourself to them." Yeah, that's nice. But when it comes to finding love, family, friends, career--anything beyond myself, self-actualization IN OUR SOCIETY--others are comparing ME to others, too.
@@PeterResponsibleYou should read "Candide" by Voltaire.
@@bsadewitz I'm sorry to hear about your story. I never said it's easy for us, we do have those challenges. Some of us may be challenged so much they will never find what they are longing for the most. That's sad and I only hope you will find at least some part of what you're looking for. Even if some milestones are not reachable anymore. Thank you for the Candide recommendation, looks like an interesting read. I know Voltaire but never read this book.
I agree with you that current society is pathologically obsessed with self-improvement. However, I didn't want to imply that all growth is necessary self-improvement. Sometimes growth happens when you realize there's nothing to improve and you accept what is. When you let go. My point was that challenges help us get there. You either self-improve and fix the problem, or you accept that the problem is not fixable - either way you will experience less pain. I guess growth to me just means experiencing less pain but I don't think we can ever get rid of pain completely.
@@PeterResponsible Thanks for your earnest and thoughtful response. Those are rare, especially on these platforms. Having reread (isn't that such an ugly word? Lol. But what else is there, "read again"?) both your post and my own, I came off as more acerbic than I intended--but what else is new? I thought you probably hadn't meant to imply that, so I did try to shift my focus away from you personally at the outset. Regarding the "medal" theme, upon further reflection, I thought, "Wait, I have control over which metaphorical medals I wear, and what they mean! The "neurotypicals" (at least the typical neurotypicals lol) have no compunction about the medals they wear, so why should I? They constructed the elaborate game-theoretic conventions which texture social relations! Who am I to defy them? You guys wanna do it this way? Fine. I'm gonna transmute this albatross you've placed around my neck into gold and then take it to the strip, pawn it, and take the proceeds and invest them into myself."
I don't remember what her take was in the video, so the following may not apply to her (but it definitely does apply to SOME scientists with media profiles) but my response would be, "Um, everyone isn't suddenly neurodivergent." Most people aren't, obviously. The normies would consider this "taking language too literally"--as if I can't recognize hyperbole. No, see, that's how rhetoric works: salience, meaning, and spin. They can do it, why can't I? You had the ball, now you pass the ball to me, and now it's my turn, lol. Games.
I would tell her that she has fallen victim to the availability heuristic. Being employed in the physical sciences is not an inoculation against it. Moreover, an increase in the frequency of the diagnosis doesn't necessarily mean that the diagnosis is illegitimate or whatever, either: for instance, a dramatic increase in the rate of a certain cancer is sometimes explained by advances in diagnostics! Again, I don't remember what she said, so this may not apply to this case, but it definitely does to others!
Anyway, thanks for actually listening to me.
Not long ago, left handed people were ostracized. I'm ambidextrous and was forced to use just my right hand in elementary school. Some of my teachers would literally get pissed off when I'd go lefty.
It's interesting observing how perspectives change.
If it was only about left handed. Now its about everyone. Except a few billionaires that are still respected. Only money and power will protect from this modern form of false science in the spirit of medieval religious extremism.
I was born lefty, mom forced me to be a righty.
I'm (46) a lefty and so is my mother (74). She was forced (and beaten) to write with her right hand. When I was going to school, she went in to my teachers and had to threaten them if they tried to force me to switch my writing hand.
Me too. I'm 73 and can still learn a new skill (in carpentry, for instance) with either hand. I have always been grateful to the school for forcing me to use both sides of my brain.
@@TheOldFellow That's a terrible take. Anyone can train almost anything with their non dominant hand.
People were beaten in school to use their right hand. That's a terrible thing and you are defending it? Nothing wrong with doing it by choice, but to be beaten and forced is an awful thing.
Instead of being beaten, you could have just... y'know... used your right hand more. I use my right hand when using a computer because it's more convenient. When I worked in offices, it meant I could write something down while also using the mouse. I put the phone on my right side and answered with my right hand so I could also write when taking IT calls.
I'm autistic and was diagnosed at the age of 27. Since my diagnosis I feel significantly less anxious and more accepting of myself. I'm probably good at masking and that's why most people didn't see it. The more I go into detail of what's going on inside my head and what I actually think and feel however, the more people tend to understand.
I was diagnosed at the same age, and has largely the same experience that you describe, that was about ten years ago now.
How did you go about a diagnoses? Just look up a typical local doctor/psychiatrist on the matter? Or did you go through some alternative third party situation. Trying to get myself a diagnoses but I have just about zero dollars to my name when it comes to paying for those services (if they're too much).
@@halowaffles I'm in Sweden, so I'm sure the process is different here from where you are. I just talked to a doctor about wanting to get tested, and got a referral to the part of psychiatry here that does those types of tests and diagnosis. I have no idea what the cost might be in other countries, but it was free for me.
@hellowaffles I'm in Sweden as well and the process for me was exactly like zyiezyie described.
Being diagnosed at the age of 39 I feel ya. With the small difference that the more I go into detail how my brain works, the more people start to back away from me. ;)
Autism Speaks is criticized for reasons that predate their connection to Google. They have continually treated Autism as though the child is "missing" a crucial piece of themselves and that's why they have the puzzle piece. I think there are better Autism groups to promote but otherwise I appreciate the work you put into this video
Neither me nor my son are missing or broken. Our autism is our superpower. Some days are hard but mostly we use it to our advantage.
@@lisasteel6817 I agree. I'm Autistic as well but I wanted to explain why they're problematic as I get the sense Sabine only has a superficial understanding
@@lisasteel6817 Yeah but the side effects f****** suck.
If you're happy good for you, I'm getting a Neuralink.
it seems like Sabine could use some intel on the social topics that she discusses on this channel. autistic people usually know of Autism Speaks narration’s damaging effect.
I'm not ASD but I have a lot of (online) friends that are. Nearly everyone I know agrees that A.S. is not on the side of the neurodiverse. I haven't been to their website, so it's possible they may have whitewashed in it, but their representatives often use language about finding a "cure" for autism and all their research is aimed at "fixing" the people who exhibit autistic traits. Better organizations focus on fixing society to accommodate people who may be different or on raising awareness and acceptance, which is the better strategy.
I got diagnosed at 24 and have also worked with people with autism (mostly "high functioning").
In my (limited) experience only those who are considered "rude" are able to hold down a regular job for a long period of time . Those who can mask well are generally so anxious and exhausted all the time they have trouble functioning. Masking is such a tiring activity while also so well integrated we can't turn it off anymore. There may be a middle ground, but it seems more like a scale to me. More masking, less energy.
I'm not a researcher or a doctor, but I have serious doubts that diagnosing kids at a young age and teaching them to mask better is doing anyone any favors. I'm not against giving children with autism extra assistance, but too many of them seem to focus on "how to appear neurotypical".
It's like teaching depressed people how to smile more.
You do have a point and better care and treatment for people with autism should be on the list for things we, as a society, need to invest in. However, simply sweepingly saying "they are fine just as they are" would be even worse and this is what I am increasingly seeing everywhere. To use your analogy, it's like telling a depressed person this is just who they are and they should embrace it. If we can eliminate the causes for autism, we should. If we can treat people who already have it in a way that will improve their lives, it is the humane thing to do IN MY OPINION, even though from a "greater good" perspective keeping these divergencies around is probably beneficial.
@@wellendowedplatypus9024 I definitely think there are forms of education or therapy that are highly beneficial for people with autism, especially those focused on healthy emotion regulation. I'm just saying that trying to mold an autistic person into a neurotypical person socially is in my experience incredibly harmfull.
As for a cure, it's a very sensitive topic. I think any form of oral treatment for adults with autism will be hard to find. But if such a cure exists in the future it should be up to the individual if they want to take that cure. Not everyone with autism wants to be "cured", which should be respected as well. Though to artificially manipulate the gene pool to eliminate autism seems really problematic to me. Not a big fan eugenics, personally.
In truth, a lot of individuals with autism are struggling and I think both mental and medical treatment are avenues worth exploring. I just think we need to make sure the treatments are actually improving quality of life and not actively harming it. (Apologies if that did not come across in my previous comment.)
Your whole last paragraph is AMAZING. I have felt that very strongly for so long. Instead of societal institutions and infrastructures expecting us to change (at huge expense to our mental health), we need to be understood. So many brilliant minds are being shut out of schools and workplaces because we don’t fit “the norm.”
High masking can cause permanent brain damage in autistics.
@@user95395 Come again? I am 40. Laat year I was making 6 figures before I burned out,. I am only recently diagnosed. I extremely worried about being homeless soon but I can't bring myself to find work. I know something is wrong but no idea what to do. Fuuuuuuck.
As someone who clicked on this video with the question “is there a difference between being on the spectrum and just being socially awkward?” in my head, I found this really helpful. Thanks!
I read somewhere that symptoms between social anxiety and autism for example may be similar, but the root cause is different.
Like the cultural ommunity I grew up in was very judgemental and focused on social hierarchy, to where it wasn't a fear of being judged because you knew for a fact you were being judged because you were doing it too. My husband misses a lot of social cues so he struggles through conversation and just struggles with a laundry list of things in general
Definitely an interesting question though
It's basically the same thing in many respects.
its more apprent to massively inpoactful moody events. such as a loss of life, a marraigem, a baby birth, birthdays, etc.
that's the type of stuff where an apathetic response almost assures it's not just being socially awkward.
shyness is a huge part of it
This is an important thought, because societal-norm gaslighting can lead to healthy people believing they are unhealthy, so if you are surrounded by psychologically projecting fools, you might believe the majority-imposed belief systems about yourself. And even if you are aware of that, that could imply you are very observant and thus ponderous and caring, so that could then trigger unjustified self-doubt in you. The result is that for example an emotionally cold or just cruelly unrealized-selfish social environment can make an emotionally healthy person become a social recluse.
Furthermore, there is a memorable scene from Beautiful Mind that probably flew over many people's heads regarding its implications and the topic of autism: He tried to pick up a woman at a bar, but not really. He used a very blunt approach and got slapped for it, and that amused him. The point there is that he wasn't socially inept and unable to take a skillful approach, but he understood all too well the silly pretend games and formal ritualisms normalized in society to - ironically - manage fear in social interaction, and chose to toy with people's inability to handle a more overt and sincere expression.
So basically, you can become a recluse either when you can't understand people or when you understand them too well, arguably better than they understand themselves, or at least better than they want to accept they understand themselves.
@@rubyb7252 i think u need to get a better husband
I was gaslit all my years to believe there’s nothing wrong with me when there clearly was. Because I “look” and “seem” normal. Now in the process of getting an ASD diagnosis after a massive meltdown and I’ve jumped from therapist to therapist until my current one noticed the signs right away because she works a lot with ASD people. She was the first to take me seriously and not push my symptoms to anxiety, depression and such. I even told a previous screening therapist that I suspected I have ASD but she brushed it off, whilst my current noticed it within the first 5 minutes of talking to me and helped me with the referral. Just because people seem normal, doesn’t change the internal struggles we face every single day.
This is my 1st ever comment after years reding others online. Your experience spoke to me. I realised my diagnosis 10years ago, whilst researching the subject on behalf of my diagnosed son, nephew & niece. I remain un-diagnosed because in Australia it costs $1800 in the private sector, unless it is picked up at school as a child. Even though I have had Community Mental Health help for years, am now on Dissability Pension for mental health issues & recently received funding through National Disability Insurance Scheme, I still may not use my psychiatric part of funding component for diagnosis... Doctors keep saying "Why do you need diagnosis, it won't change anything?" is SO FRUSTRATING. Without diagnosis, if you don't know me I can pass as "normal", without diagnosis I can't claim to have it without feeling like one of those fashion people jumping on the bandwagon & people think I'm full of it, just what socially awkward woman with anxiety & depression needs!
Aravis,
From my view, saying there's something "wrong" with you is not the right way to put it's ableism. There's nothing "wrong" with you, you have biological differences that cause difficulties and make you struggle with certain things.
With no cure and limited treatment options... why bother seeking out a diagnosis late in life if you "know" your limitations, what works for you already?
@@danielmoore4024 I think there is such a thing as toxic positivity.
@@danielmoore4024 saying there is nothing wrong with it is dismissive. If having autism meant there was nothing wrong with me I wouldn't struggle socially or get stressed over stupid shit like not having my hairbrush on my desk during the day and under my pillow at night. When a biological difference causes difficulties for an organism then there is something wrong with it especially when it regards some of the most defining features of that organism in my case that being my social skills among other issues.
Speaking for myself, I did not "suddenly" become Autistic. I was Autistic for 58 years before I was diagnosed. As were others. As were many in the past who died without knowing why they felt like such a freak. New knowledge is a great thing. Knowing I'm Autistic has given me so much closure regarding the trauma of my life.
This is exactly it. Closure. Not going thru the same situations in your head endlessly wondering why why why.
❤
Everyone can be diagnosed with some form of neurodivergence. Take Synesthesia. While there are extreme cases, _all_ people have some overlapping of senses. It why we describe certain sounds as "sharp" colors as "loud"etc. The reality is if nobody could tell for 58 years, you're probably normal and should be skeptical. Ask who benefits from your "diagnosis".
It isn’t simply one symptom (sensory issues) that would contribute to an autism diagnosis. It is a combination of several issues.
@@neverlistentome Username absolutely checks out
Those who say autism is worn as a medal didn't experience the bullying, the constant self criticism and the constant efforts to be normal always ending in frustration and the consequent self hate. It's not a medal it's an explanation that brings clarity and self compassion.
It's a medal in the same way a scar is it took lots of pain to make and probably a lot more to be willing to show and thats exactly why it should be celebrated
Sorry to hear you went through that but I think the medal wearing reference are to the tiktokkers and such that have latched on to this as a new way of expressing some kind of individualism, thus setting them apart from everyone else and making themselves feel special or unique.
@@I_love_eating_toesscars are not something to be celebrated.
Not everyone gets bullied? You can have a disorder and not be bullied, not everyone is the same
the amount of bullying i got in highschool and middle school was the worst, literally everyone hated me, i was known as the "autistic depressed guy with the long hair", in fact people hated me so much that i was swatted, my depression got so bad i had to drop out of highschool, and now 8 years later i still wonder when the police will show up at my door at 5am again
I wish i could have seen this episode four years ago. My wife is undiagnosed but is certainly on the spectrum. It took me some time to put it together and I feel bad about how hard things were when they didn't need to be. At the time I thought she was the problem... I now know that my misunderstanding of her masking or mimicking was the impetus of our difficulties. Her answers were an approximation of what she thought "regular people" would say or wanted to hear. I thought she was mocking me, and I would get sooo frustrated. We now both know how to make sure the other understands exactly what they need to understand. I'm so glad we made it out the other side, she has made my life so much more interesting and full I can't imagine living without her.
I'm glad you figured it out. When I start to feel safe with someone, I am known to ask them "Is this how normal people talk?" Because I just don't KNOW. The only time I got along with the other women at work, is when I was forced to p!an a big wedding. I Just wanted to go to city hall. What are your colors? Are you going to get your nails done? How are you going to wear your hair? Ugh. I don't CARE!!! I managed to avoid all the dances and proms , and a big wedding HE wanted was like a prom on steroids with people staring at me. It was so awkward. And then he didn't even dance with me after that first time. It was apparently HIS special day, he was the little princess, Belle of the ball. We're not together anymore. I actually wanted to call it off that day.
I bet your wife has a "hyper masculinized" face and a very deep dark voice. I heard autistic females have hyper masculinized faces and more testosterone than neurotypical women probably because of prenatal testosterone they were exposed to in the wombw
Great book by Temple Grandin “Different, Not Less” on how people figure out how to live successfully
@@jeffstewart3860 seems like most of her talks are focused on children getting help. But there are so many undiagnosed or self diagnosed adults into their 80's even just figuring it out.
"Her answers were an approximation of what she thought "regular people" would say or wanted to hear. I thought she was mocking me" - I don't know what you're talking about here. What was she saying? What was wrong with it? Some examples would help a lot.
I remember a lot of the problem us folks on the spectrum have with Autism Speaks is that they don't exactly have a sterling record, namely that they made a number of productions in the past which mainly went out of their way to paint us as a burden on everyone else, as well as them (at least at one point) advocating to a full-blown cure to Autism as if it were cancer. This struck a nerve with a lot of people because to them, this was AS seeing them as a problem to be fixed rather than different people to be helped and welcomed.
Yup. Autism Speaks against those who support the extermination of people with autism 🤷♀️ like the non-autistic-lead "Autism Speaks".
Frankly it shouldn't be legal for them to call themselves that. It's really "Neurotipical WASPS speak about how they would replace their kid if they could*
1. Many autistics see their autism as something fundamental to their personality/identity/existence, such that without it they would be someone else. This would make A$'s cure narrative unattractive to them. Imagine a charity that intends to improve the lives of gay people through discovering an actually effective conversion therapy.
2. Some of the research A$ funds is about prenatal detection. There is no reason for this from the perspective of treating existing autistics, only preventing new ones.
3. A$ focuses on the impacts of Autism on families and caretakers. This dehumanizes and infantilizes the actual autistics by removing their experiences from the equation and putting focus on them as eternal children to be taken care of.
They haven’t stopped, although it’s moved from “we’ll fix living people’s brains” to “we’ll prevent you from existing”. Autism Speaks has merged with at least three other “charities”/research organisations that have the goal of eradicating autism through research into genes that can be tested for in utero. Like many foreign countries have tried to eliminate Down Syndrome, they plan to promote tests during pregnancy that have percentage indicators for autistic traits (there’s practically no way to test only for diagnosable autism before you can interact with the testee), and if the value is over some arbitrary number they’ll recommend abortion.
If you’ve followed along, congrats. Yes, they are doing eugenics on autism and the breadth of autistic traits. No, it is not broadly illegal. Even in some places with very tight abortion restrictions, they allow for this sort of thing even into late pregnancy.
Many proponents of this form of eugenics will use the necessary rights to abortion and the idea that autism is only suffering that needs to end to argue for this. They ignore acceptance of adults largely because they just ignore us altogether. It’s presumed that this would be the parents’ choice. Except it isn’t, because you don’t get to choose who your kid is. We don’t have very good guesses about who will be a net positive or negative for society, and there’s no way to know whether your child will require your permanent care. As a parent, you only really have the right to bring children into the world in exchange for the responsibility to make sure they’re taken care of.
Anyways, Autism Speaks should redirect what it wants to do to us onto itself and terminate.
@Joaquin the problem is with the way non-autist people behave, not with autism. autism can't be cured and it doesn't need to be cured
@joaquin5796 The point was that advocacy for a cure makes it seem as though autistic folks in and of themselves are a problem to be removed, instead of just trying to provide accommodations to them to help them still live their best lives. A lot of people on the spectrum see cure talks as other people hating what is an inherent part of who they are.
I actually have spent a lot of time thinking about the topic of being german or autistic .. I know it was a joke, but seriously there is a social/cultural aspect of autism that makes it easier for autistic people to fit into a specific cultural context. For example, german people are said to be more bold, even rude, direct and say what they mean (especially people in the north). Theyre said to rely less on social cues and implied requests and respond more to direct suggestions and say what they want. A typical example is how it is considered polite in some countries to reject an offer a few times before you accept it. Like being asked "Do you want a piece of cake?". Germans are generally more likely to just answer the question. That doesnt mean all germans are like that, but its just more common here than in other parts of the world. I haven't come to any conclusion on what that means though. Are some germans more autistic? Or do we just respond better to autistic needs? Would it be possible, since autism also has a genetic component, for some regions to have a higher prevalence with people on the spectrum, but less diagnosis because its easier for autistic people to fit in? I think about this a lot.
Maybe because germans have more testosterone running through their veins that's why their autistic
This doesn’t really make mucv sense when you look at how important conformity and social protocol is in Germany. If anything, autistic people suffer more in Germany because the school system does not largely undersdd to anc neurodiversity.
@@sfmikiYes but when the whole country is neuro-divergent, conformity would be being neuro-divergent. It would be the true neuro-typicals who would stick out like a sore thumb in Germany.
@@gg.6633 perhaps, but then judging from what I’ve seen, Germany is not quite on the spectrum. They like their comfort clothes, but their executive function issues are intact, they simultaneously appreciate the literal and contextual meaning of things, and they are outwardly directed quite often. Some character traits are quirky, but for the most part, quite neurotypical.
As a female probably high-func autist that grew up and still lives in Germany, I can tell you "No" it is not easier. If you don't act stereotypically to your social group enough, they will segregate you and bully the shit out of you.
I doubt my son will be able to live independently. It’s possible he’s slowly learning how to talk. He has a vocabulary based off his ability to understand us and he knows his abc’s an so far we know he can count to 20. Like me he has a very good sense of direction and if he could drive at 4 years old he go to his favorite park. I couldn’t live life without him. The major issues he has is with transition. He becomes very angry and destructive and although this has gotten better, he used to self harm and when he is very upset he will lash out physically if you are to close. Before I started using a wagon to transport him from the park to home it looked like I was kidnapping him on the way to the car because he would be fighting me like hard. Something that frustrates me deeply is that in order for him to function in this society to the extent that he can he needs a lot of therapy. Getting his diagnosis was extremely difficult and took 2 years. A lot of people push back against therapy saying that it teaches compliance which bad. But what the fuck else am I supposed to do.
We all have to be compliant hey. There have to be some sort of boundaries around behaviours. It would be poor parenting if you don't support behaviour modification. If it isn't done, as an adult he'll end up in a group home, half-stoned with medications, wearing an incontinence pad and stimming in a corner without any independence. Your fight is to make him into someone that others are happy enough to be around and as independent as he can be. All the best Elias.
I was diagnosed at age 23. I'm 25 now. When getting diagnosed, my reaction was, "Oh, that makes sense". It also really helped me put things together and more effectively navigate matters.
I’m very sorry to ask but I’m desperate, my fiancé is diagnosed ADHD but we’ve suspect he’s been missed diagnosed. His doctor says they don’t diagnose autistic adults only children, any nonprofit charities we reach out to for autism say they can’t help us without a diagnosis from his doctor. He is 23, we are at a loss, please any advice to help him I would be greatly appreciate. He spoke to his mom and she confessed she’s suspected since he was a child but never pursued a diagnosis, which was a shock. We don’t know how to help him but he struggles so much and needs help. I apologize if I came off as rude and for asking something so personal. I just want to help my loved one. We live in the US.
@@animefreak1149 what do you need help with? He managed to get engaged to you so that means he's high functioning. The only advice I can give is don't treat him different, think of him as an introvert, don't patronize him, help him in situations where he is stuck and can't figure it out, he may get cranky for things and lash out just give him some time and he will be ok and don't ever put him in the spotlight especially in crowded places. I was diagnosed when I was 10, I cried when my father told me and he asked if I wanted to be normal, I said yes and he treated me normal and never told anyone, people just taught I was shy and introverted growing up. We only want to be treated normal that's all.
@@animefreak1149 I don't know what country you're in, but adult diagnosis is a possibility in a lot of places. Where I live it's definitely an option, but also a lot of doctors are working with outdated information so they might give incorrect answers (e.g. for a long time you couldn't be diagnosed with both ADHD and ASD, and that's changed now but not everyone knows it).
It might be worth speaking to a different doctor, or looking up adult diagnosis in your country. If there is a good online support group for your area, they might have more information.
If anything, it helps that you know for sure that you are clinically diagnosed. Because then you're aware of your brain's inherent shortcoming, so you can take sure steps to mitigate what your brain just isn't good at doing at.
Better know that your brain simply is undertuned for one specific part of your social life and take alternative measures, than try to fight against that shortcoming.
@@animefreak1149 might not be misdiagnosis, many autistic ppl have adhd too! Very high comorbidity rate
Sabine belatedly finding out she might possibly be autistic in the process of researching a video about autism is HIGHLY relatable. 🤣 For me it was looking up articles to figure out how to be a better friend to my several friends who are officially diagnosed, reading over the descriptions of symptoms and going "WAIT A MINUTE"
Hi crystal.. how are you doing???
I heard the symptoms, I heard the accent, I heard the humor, that’s definitely symptoms of being german… and then she outright says it, funniest crap I’ve ever heard.
Haven't the majority of us got checked out and confirmed because we did that?
@@justanidiotmk2749 Often other people could have mentioned it to them.. Also, t was barely even mentioned or spoken of 20 years ago.
We have ideas about everything and ideas about autism describe some experiences that differ from "normal life", while our own experiences of life create our understanding of "normal life".
Like, if we read that autistic people struggle while communicating with others we assume they struggle more than us, we start with our "normal" experience of communication and imagine additional struggle on top of that. Or we read about masking and we don't see how our neutral face and stilted humor are masking, instead we assume everything we do as normal and imagine masking as some additional and probably consious fakery on top of that
As a person who is not on Twitter I wanna say: I think you might wanna dive deeper into Autism Speaks before saying it's harmless. Sure, the fear-mongering ads you could shrug off as just bad PR, but one of the co-founders, Bob Wright, has on multiple occasions expressed his doubt on whether autism may be caused by vaccines. All in all, this "foundation" is more interested in giving the parents of autism a platform, rather than autistic people themselves. Which would not be such a big problem if they 1. didn't claim to do otherwise, and 2. didn't fearmonger about autism as if it destroys everything around it, quote: "faster than pediatric AIDS, diabetes and cancer combined". Yes, that is a direct quote from an Autism Speaks promo video, word for word.
I was honestly surprised to hear her say that being against autism speaks is only part of a minority group on twitter. I felt like it was almost unanimous online that the autistic community disliked them. In my experience even before I realized I was autistic, even I knew about autism speak's terrible rep.
autism could definitely be caused by autism
So what if autism is caused by vaccines? It's not impossible, and if there WOULD be evidence to support that claim it would be a perfectly reasonable position.
Vaccines aren't some kind of magically perfect drug.
I don't believe it's true, but it's not impossible. (also, pharmaceutical companies are litteraly sociopathic entities that are absolutely capable of doing all they can to deny such claims even if they knew them to be true)
@@hazelnuiitYeah, but it's easy to get carried away with the significance of "unanimous online". Believe it or not, most people still live in the real world! Not everyone is a forum-dweller, and many have no idea these "takes" even exist.
It is certainly a autism of autism
Wonderful to find your videos, I am going through them like I found a wellspring in a desert. Thank you, keep these coming.
The reason I am here is I am 'neurotypical' and just discovered my wife is 'neurodivergent'. I believe this 'mismatch' has caused all the issues in a troubled but otherwise livable arrangement.
I have found no really instructive information for our situation, most videos I have found are 'autistic husband with a neurotypical, but helpful wife'. Nowhere can I find help for me, to easily understand and live with her ways.
I have found that autistic women are completely different creatures from other women, my late wife was incredibly dyslexic, but that is a world away from autism, and I've had never any tools to help with this. Just discovering she is autistic helped me decide not to leave her, as I was ready to do. I see only now what a huge mistake that would have been, but she was absolutely driving this neurotypical man bonkers.
I will continue to search, as nothing in our world allows her to be 'normal' until we all change our views. Again, thank you.
I’m autistic, as independently diagnosed by four Ph.Ds over twenty-five years. I’m 40 years old. The best book I’ve read on this question is Nick Walker’s “Neuroqueer Heresies.”
There are so many nuanced co-diagnoses that interact with Autism. These can include ADHD, CPTSD, Sensory Processing Disorder, Depersonalization/Derealization Disorder, Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder, Pathological Demand Avoidance, Dyspraxia, Misophonia, Hyperacusis and Selective Mutism. Those are just some of MY co-diagnoses.
Iconic inspiration. I myself have been diagnosed twice, once at 2-3, then again at 11. I see you on Tracey Marks' channel too, and on lefttube related content. Just wanted to say it's cool that your viral moment was a song about race inequality and that message was able to reach so many people, you've inspired a whole generation.
fellow traveler 🙏
Yeah man. Neuro things are real complicated. I'm about to get SSA disability for depression and anxiety. I'm not autistic but I can really empathize with anyone that struggles with neurodivergence or mental illness. We all have a lot in common.
@@dann5480 keep telling yourself buddy
@@dann5480 you must be an allist, which is a fancy word for "bully"
I have autistic traits: introversion, special interests, difficulty with eye contact. I am NOT autistic. I was professionally evaluated. I understand social situations, they just scare me. Because of my horrible social anxiety. I don’t stim. Alternatively, my best friend has autism and he stims all the time and is often zoning out into his “own world” but he’s tremendously smart and very fun to talk to. So…yeah. I think people use the autism word because they relate to some of the similarities like I have. But it’s a different mechanism. I think people self diagnose a lot and it’s easier to understand “autistic” when people explain their oddities.
Do you think that you might be masking behaviors from your best freeing? Good luck to you.
@@nataliemadison-rascoe278 Thanks. No, I just think certain traits of autism can be shared amongst people who are on the spectrum and those who are not. I suppose it could be judged because it’s seen as a spectrum disorder so if I do have it mine shows up “milder.” I suppose because I have other mental health issues that I am still technically neurodivergent but my oddities come from a different source.
also, to my knowledge, autistic girls tend to have a better grasp of social situations. it's actually one of the key reasons why for the longest time, and still to this day, autism has been widely under diagnosed in girls
That basically describes me as well.
I think I don't understand them. Or well I should say I believe(d) I understand what's going on but as I get older I'm repeatedly faced with the fact that I have been misinterpreting, badly, what is happening with people all the time, and I don't know much about anyone due to not being able to see the line between irony and not irony.
I'm smart. I'm a really good imitator also, so I think I basically faked my way through most social things my whole life. I remember thinking that I didn't know why I was saying or doing things all the time, just that it seemed like that was what was expected. And the responses people had were generally favorable so I picked people to emulate and got by on that skill.
Edit: I really have to stop commenting before I watch the video. She names this skill: masking
So my point is that I am very, very good at masking. My memory is turbo, so I can remember things I've seen or experienced on some level way back in time.
At school during the 1960s, I was called lazy. Once, when I did (very) good work, I was asked "who wrote this?" When I answered that I did, I was told "you couldn't have". Then my mother took me to do an IQ test, and they simply refused to believe the result. Saying that I still feel bitter about this after 55 years is a colossal understatement.
Lucky you could have gone to school and have an IQ test. My grandparents were rebuilding the country after the war.
@@janchmiel9900 And your grandparents were lucky not to have been forced to work in a coltan mine in the DRC.
I always paid attention to my lessons in school, which was reflected in my grades, yet my third-grade teacher kept accusing me of "daydreaming," a word I didn't know. I suppose this was because I wasn't making eye contact with her, which at the time it would have not even occurred to me to do.
Working in a mine!!?? Hah. you would be lucky to work in a mine! I had to manage without a mine.@@hjvhjfv6320
"You couldn't have" Ignorant people denying your own abilities. I have a similar experiences during childhood, thankfully my parents knew my abilities quite well. (Especially if I had to fix the TV & VCR setup in the early 1990s)😅
I am 46. I have been diagnosed with aspergers/autism when I was 33. I wish the understanding we have about it today was the same when I was a kid. My teachers and parents used to scream at me, even hit me when I couldn't concentrate on my studies, class or church. Unfortunately today people use it as tiktok trend, but I am glad and jealous of kids today who can get help with their autism, those who actually have it
I've worked with kids with level 3 (and some 2) autism, and working together to develop language through play. I only work through a play approach - we only "work" if/when the kids are interested and enjoy the activity. When we play therapeutic games, learn supportive symbols, gestures and hand signs, a lot of neurotypical kids join in of their own volition because it's fun. Teaching peers (also through play) to understand and respond is a huge part of my job and creates integration. Helping diagnosed kids communicate their wants, needs and feelings to peers and adults helps quality of life. Helping parents and other teachers tailor the home/class environment and routines to fit the kids is also essential. Yet a few self-diagnosed young adults of tiktok age tell me that ANY intervention is "torturing children". They have well organised activist groups at University. As Sabine remarks, they are unlikely to have experienced ASD as debilitating in the same way as someone who has no language. One of the activist arguments is "therapy forces children to stop stimming, which is torture". I've also noticed a drop in the amount of stimming kids do after therapy, but I ofcourse would never prevent a kid from stimming. Stimming often seems to be a way to deal with distress, discomfort, boredom etc. For me it seems kids don't have to self-sooth and stim as frequently when there are fewer triggers for anxiety and discomfort. When you can communicate what you prefer, you don't have to self soothe because your needs aren't met. When the environment and people around you are atuned and can anticipate your needs and avoid triggers, you also experience less stress and stim less. The black and white thinking that intervention is torture is harmful to kids, their families and care providers.
Curious, is ur teaching specifically aba therapy or a different sort?
Something I highly recomend to fellow autists is supplementung L dopa and tyrosine. Basically doing the opposite or risperdol(sp?). It makes it easier to tolerate adverse conditions. I can also spike levels to maximize productivity. Only thing is its 6months on 1 month off. That 1 month can really suck.
It sounds like you're doing great work! Most autistic people are parimarily against ABA therapy which though it can sometimes be applied in a beneficial way, in most cases is essentially dog training undesirable behaviors out of kids (and desirable behaviors into them) without trying to understand or address the root cause. I've never met anyone who's opposed to any intervention at all, and certainly never met anyone who thinks nonverbal people shouldn't be taught how to communicate.
Nosoboko,
The only intervention we are against is behaviourism which is what ABA is entirely based upon. We’re not the only ones against behaviourism, the science community in general are against ABA and claim it’s nonsense and abusive by only caring about the surface ignoring everything happening under the surface abusing the nervous system.
I have never seen autistic people oppose Floortime, SCERTS, TEACCH, Occupational Therapy, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Speech Pathology, Music Therapy and tonnes more that are not based on behaviourism that was already out of date in 1940 and ABA was not founded until 1961 by Ole Ivar Lovaas and John Watson, you never like to tell us about those two cruel racists your work is founded on do you?
Just how hateful must ABA’s grandfather John Watson of been to be arrested twice during his youth for assaulting black people in California? ABA is disgusting and nonsense, if ABA actually cared about the children you would listen to scientists and our testimonials of just how harmful and abusive behaviourism is, you would then abandon behaviourism and adopt and insure the healthier more humane interventions like DIR Floortime giving parents better options as we have been demanding. Don’t falsely accuse us again, none of us are against interventions to help and support, we are sick and tired of all the abuse from ABA therapists.
Life in general is stressful, so i won't ever stop stimming, and i don't only stim when stressed, I always! stim, i stim when i'm happy, because that is my primarily way of expressing joy, hand flapping, jumping or rocking side to side or whatever, body movements are my primarily way of communicating, really, that's an important thing to learn about autists...
I often ponder about this question. The answer I've come to is, we've always been here. In the past, only severe cases were considered but as knowledge grows about mental conditions, the easier it is to spot those who are neurodivergent but are able to mask.
Also consider the world we live in now, with ever increasing stimuli. At the same time you have to make so many more choices. Society has changed to where we are always seeing and hearing new things and people.
Now consider past societies: You usually lived around fewer people, had far less audiovisual stimuli. You wouldnt have to choose between 1000's of jobs to find what fits you. Most often you grabbed what was available, or followed traditions. You could not go to a supermarket, where you have to decide which of the 1000's of products you wanted. Etc.
If people with asd were around in the same percentages back then, many of the less blatant cases might not have trouble living their lives relatively normally.
My sister was telling me about a theory that stuff like monasteries and convents may have been largely formed and populated by autistic people. Just this specific niche of a lifestyle where people could shut themselves away from society when they felt like they needed to, and would dedicate themselves to a highly specialized discipline like studying and preserving knowledge or training martial arts. It makes a lot of sense to me, and I'd say it's a pretty cool picture of what people can do if we respect and accommodate their differences and treat them with dignity and respect, instead of acting like they're broken if they don't fit in with everyone else.
The problem is though what is considered a mental illness is becoming extremely vague and meaningless. We are probably a single generation away from calling being gay a mental illness again but this time for (in bold rainbow font) *inclusion* instead of hate. Horse shoe theory is more of a observed fact than it is a theory
Nah, it's just now every poorly-parented little snowflake with a conduct or personality disorder gets a parent-requested sparkly star crown that says "ASD" and have to be treated as special, instead of taught to behave.
Sorry but if 10% of your population is diagnosed ASD, you have rampant over-diagnosis at the behest of bad parents.
@@KoosFramboos Wow...this is a GREAT point. Like the band Devo said, back in the 80’s, “Freedom from choice is what you want. Freedom of choice is what you got.” I never really thought about it before, but the lead singer Mark Mothersbaugh is likely on the spectrum.
the part about autism speaks was rather strange i think, the opinion that it's a bad organisation is really quite widespread amongst actual autistic people, not a fringe group of extremists like you say, of course the label of hate group isn't as common, but the organisation does not have a good or even neutral representation amongst autistic people
It was odd that she seemed to imply that it being a 'charity' gave it credibility.
It is widespread indeed, I've seen people from several countries (from Brazil to India) questioning what they do and how they get their funding.
Yes, this part seems very poorly researched. Autism Speaks has redacted a lot of their bad history, but many of us still remember the statements they've made, the organisations that they've absorbed, the adverts they released, etc., which they currently disavow even while continuing to do the same things they always have done.
The coverage they get in this video looks like a quick skim of their website without any investigation into their history. That's kind of irresponsible.
Why? What this organization do that is controversial? I'm genuinely asking... This is the first time I've heard about them.
@@mathiasrennochaves3533 ua-cam.com/video/9UgLnWJFGHQ/v-deo.html
Sabine, you are a jewel trying to make sense of a ridiculous world. Keep up the great work !!! FIVE STARS. !
As an autistic person, I thank you for the humour, investigation and general tone. I hoped you talked about ABA therapies (Autism Speaks promotes those kind of approaches) that are aimed to eliminate stimming and "normalize" children with the goal of adapting them to society. That's the basic claim against Autism Speaks, ABA is torture and no one should be forced to stop what regulates and helps to manages their anxiety.
On the other hand, as an activist, the most common feedback I get is "you don't look autistic" and "stop romanticizing autism, that's not it", etc So, I'm dealing everyday with a society that not only didn't have a clue about how I (or my brain) was: it managed to segregate me, leave me with no information or tools to know myself and make me live and suffer in silence alone, as it did with SO many others. And now, after more than 30 years of living undiagnosed, I guess we're a bit fed up with people that, again, deny and silence us and tell us how to cope and manage the way we express and try to help others. Because, in most cases, adult autistic people that are comunicating their experiences and knowlede, are not profiting on it. I don't make any money and try to speak up because, five years ago, listening to an autistic woman helped me find the right perspective and saved me.
¡Abrazo from Argentina!
jaja que loco encontrar a alguien de argentina
Pd Sabine está re mal informada, cree y se come el cuento de que Autism speaks es una organización benefica e invisibiliza las críticas diciendo que "son un par de gente de Twitter" cuando esto no es así para nada.
Le falta educarse mucho se ve. Y escuchar a activistas, académicos, filósofos científicos, profesionales de la salud que son autistas. Dejé un artículo de Chapman pero dudo que lo vaya a lee.
Your message implies that you must often bring up the fact you're autistic if you have people telling you you don't look autistic..why? There's nothing weird about autism. No reason to draw attention to it
This and this is also a reason that many autistic People don't like Autism Speaks. This group promotes ABA. And ABA is as much a valid Therapie as homeopathy is a valid treatment for anything. Not at all.
@@tonyvelasquez6776
Telling people I'm autistic is one of the first things I tell people about myself to reduce all the stigma and stereotypes.
The stereotypes have given people an impression they know what autism looks like, by I telling them I'm autistic it increases the awareness that every autistic person is affected variously, like through me they can see not all autistic people don't want to make eye contact, they know not all autistic people are introverted, they come to know we don't lack empathy etc...
Letting people see an autistic person off of the mass media helps them to stop having one out of two impressions.
1) Autistic people are like Einstein
2) Autistic people can't do anything by themselves
When they're aware I'm autistic they know most autistic people are in between those two stereotypes.
I was diagnosed with autism when I was in elementary school and went through half a decade of behavioral classes. Through these classes I came to realize that, while I can mask my autistic traits, doing so is quite tiring. As a result, I prefer to just freely be myself and live as some random guy that's smart, weird, and weirdly smart. Then, because the people I work with understand my limitations, when we need to talk to someone one on one, they do it for me. Instead delegating me tasks which I am far more suited for.
You need a circuit? Ask ash. You need a program? Ask ash. Need help with a design? Ask ash. You need to ask someone where the bathroom is? Don't ask ash.
I’m hoping I can find a job that allows me to be myself more, I’m currently working as kitchen staff for a pub/restaurant and I always feel bad when I need to run food and someone stops me to ask something since I always feel awkward and struggle communicating when things are loud and busy. It’s definitely helping improve my social skills over time but I also hate having to act “normal” for people who have no way of knowing I’m autistic at a first glance because any slight hiccup in my performance gives off the impression that I’m just a weirdo. I guess it also helps me with not caring what people think about me, but I can’t afford to completely disregard that because I represent my workplace and I don’t wanna be fired if someone complains about my lack of social skills or something I overlook whilst talking with them. I wonder if there’s any merits to masking or if it’s just overall a detrimental thing for mental/physical health
@@WastePlace Hey man, I've found that the service industry is pretty difficult for people like us, so good on you for the success you've seen thus far :) I worked as a customer service representative at Sam's Club for a bit (focused on Club Pickup), and absolutely hated it. I ended up quitting after 1 year, and began delving into STEM.
Still, if being in the service industry is causing you stress, then if you have the aptitude and time, I'd recommend trying to go for a STEM related field instead. If you can't get a degree for one reason of another, there are some quick training programs you could complete to begin a STEM career.
If you don't have the time or aptitude for STEM, would you consider a quieter job like, for an example, sanitation?
Exactly this for me too. For me, I “know” how to become a normal human being; I just don’t feel like. Because that to me apparently means I’m somewhat careless of what I say & do.
For instance, I go to a very competitive private school and people always talk about and compare academic scores. While I fit quite well in terms of performance and was doing perfectly fine being friends with some people for a short while, but I soon became sick of the toxic behaviour as it made me feel pretty bad about myself, and now I’m alone, but a lot happier.
People always associate autism as a negative thing, but all it means is that you view the world in a different way. Autism or showing autistic traits isn’t something anyone should be ashamed of.
@@DuskfoxOfficial Yeah, being able to fit into society is even used as a metric for how, "functioning" someone is. But, that's not who we are. We are the kind of people that, when given the chance, will traverse a path which occurs to very few. I mean, I didn't get onto my company's board of directors by being, "normal". I did it by committing to a bad idea so hard that it eventually became a good idea.
As for your classmates, I've met a lot of people like that over the years (I'm pretty young), and, well... it rarely ends well... As an example, in college there was a person whom decided to compete with me in everything. Long story short, I didn't really give it any mind. Yet, he'd often lose. This drove him mad, but as time went on and other people refused to humor him, he found himself completely alone. I hope that he's become less competitive and is willing to have an actual friendship, but the last I heard he was stalking a girl I went on a date with.
Point is, people like your classmates can be terrible kids, and annoying adults. So, distancing yourself might be a great call. However, don't let that stop you from reaching out to people that aren't a-holes. I mean, even us autistic freaks need a friend or two, don't we?
Hey Ash, can you ask someone where the bathroom is for me?
"I'm not autistic, I'm just German" is simulataneously the funniest and most depressing thing I've heard in a while. I swear a little part of me dies inside every single time I hear one of my younger coworkers say "Oh that person's got to be on the spectrum, they have [insert arbitrary trait here]"
Why? It's a spectrum. Do you mean that not all anti social behavior is caused by autism? A commenter above said that her autism causes her to correct people.
it's sad. that part of you dying is the feeling of disappointment in humanity these days...
@@leagarner3675 What causes her to correct people is that she's never been told to mind her own business.
I am autistic (self diagnosed) AND german.
@@19Marc79don’t self diagnose, unless you have the right to properly diagnose others
not saying you don’t have autism but maybe actually get it checked before just saying you have it
This was helpful, i was diagnosed at 5 because my mum noticed repetitive and "strange" behaviour, i was diagnosed with aspergers and autism (now just autism & ADHD) and that second to last statement nailed how people viewed me.
I had a good friend with ASD when I was younger. He found it weird that his parents said he didn't used to talk to them
He felt he was talking to them. Red in the face he told me for years he thought they could hear his inside voice, because he could hear it. Used to get a bit upset when people wouldn't listen to what he was saying in his head.
My diagnosis at age 4 of OCD was blamed on my mother similarly to the "refrigerator" theory. My mother took it very badly, and left us. She literally thought she had created dysfunctional children. Before she passed away, I told her that after my having years of therapy that she was not, in fact, the cause of my neurological disorder, and she cried with relief. Sabine, thank you for this very rational (as usual) conversation. The point at minute 17:20 is a brilliant explanation of the way society can really do better. I hope you make it into a short. I know some people I'd like to share that with.
In a way your parents are the cause, but genetics are highly random.
ASD is much like homosexuality in that it is not caused by parenting and can not be undone by parenting either.
@@0MoTheG I would say "source", not "cause". Because "cause" assumes blame.
@@TurboXray what is blame
what does the word blame mean
@@Survivalist_Redo Blame implies fault, and fault means someone did something wrong. "Source" is neutral and accurate, "fault/blame" are clearly not.
you were diagnosed OCD at the age of four? that is nonsense.
I'm autistic. During the '50s, '60s & '70s when I grew up, autism was completely unknown except for those cases where people needed constant care. That made my childhood extremely difficult. My daughter is also autistic, as are both of my grandsons. Both grandsons were diagnosed early & attended specialized classes in school. My oldest deals with his autism far better than I did. He was given effective coping methods in school that he still uses at 27.
I think many mental conditions with less severe and obvious symptoms were almost criminally trivialized in the past. In my case it was "just" ADHS in the late 70s but I am glad, that at least now I know, where some of my earlier problems came from. Obviously, as is always the case, the pendulum swings too far in the other direction and now everyone and their dog seem to suffer from neurological conditions. I am not for trivializing those conditions but I would like to see less of the "neurodiversity being chique" BS. Those things can be very serious and I don't want to see this other kind of trivialization.
@@christoph4977thanks for intentionally bringing more autistic people into the world.
do your daughters have "hyper masculinized" faces? I heard autistic women have more masculine faces than neurotypical women and more testosterone too
I'm 40 and on the spectrum; I also had an _extremely_ difficult childhood that I'm still pretty traumatized from.
I'm glad to hear your children/grandchildren are doing better than you or I did. I feel like I left my formative years right at the cusp of society beginning to become aware of/integrating with ASD. I've always been a little chagrined that I wasn't born a decade later than I was, but I'm sure you had to overcome even greater obstacles than I did growing up. Congrats on making it this far 😀
@@hibryd7481 I spent many years fearing I was sociopathic because I didn't feel empathy like others. I was tested for autism when I was in university and was told I had Asperger's. It explained a lot and eased my mind. At 67 I'm far more empathetic, caring and open to emotions than I was.
Very succinct. I've noticed everything you explained here. As somone with high functioning autism I've come to resent this 'fashion label' behavior. Mostly because it diminishes my struggles.
I once received a text message from an ex girlfriend that said "I just got back from the doctor" (which is normally not a good text to get from an ex). She said " I was just diagnosed with moderate autism, which means you're severely autistic." We both had a good laugh over it because it's true.
I do have an issue with autism speaks though. They're getting better as an organization, but historically they have been a group of parents, who are more obsessed with how they're children interact with them, than the welfare of their child. Basically "why does my child not love me?" and "look at how this effects my life as a parent."
This. Autism speaks as a hate group might be hyperbole but is not a fringe theory. They have historically not given a shit about the actual wellbeing of autistic children.
Autism speaks had incident where they were taking funds raised by the white supremacist Sons of Odin.
Yeah, agree on the autism speaks front. While accusations of "eugenics" are definitely an exaggeration, their focus seems to make the symtoms of autism less noticable to the people around, not the autistic person themselves. And Sabine did a pretty good outline of the negative effects masking like this can have, especially if it's sold as "you're broken and masking is the fix".
"This week, how to get your child to pretend to be more normal! New punishment techniques!"
I absolutely agree with this. As a society "parenting" is the ultimate unchecked competency. There's no performance repercussions in being a shitty parent unless it reaches criminality. It's why parent teacher meets are often counter productive and it's how it's even possible to ban books right now. Our idea of individual liberty is demented. If we actually believed that then parents should have no input on their child's education. They should be asking the teachers for tutoring advise not the other way around. That extends to organizations like that because kids aren't funding it parents are.
I know it’s important to accept the differences in our brains and as people, but ADHD to me has been nothing except a disorder. I hate it and have felt defective because of it; for a long time it felt like nothing I did ever mattered since my brain just would not work with me.
Even believing all that - knowing well and good, all of that - I still can’t definitely say that I wish I’d been born without it. Despite all that struggle, a part of me feels better for having been through it. Having to work around something like ADHD pushes me to be better than I could ever have been without it. What is life without struggle
No idea why I wrote this
Someone with autism here. I wish I'd never had it.
I feel you. ADHD (+ASD?) makes me barely functional and even though I've been out of the self-loathing suicidal abyss for 3 years now, I occasionally still sink back into that hole.
Yet, I can see the 'superpower' side that people say, as I've always had a natural sense for creative skills like drawing, playing instruments, composing music and coding that makes me boost faster than most people. Unfortunately I went down the path of trying so hard to be normal that I lost myself and my skills along the way.
This is why I agree that it's a disorder but also agree that it's a superpower. I can't agree on one without the other, because it really is both a curse and a blessing. As you've said, I can't imagine living without ADHD as I've learned so much from it, .
Also curious to ask, do you not feel any talents resulting from your ADHD?
I wish I had been born without it. I love loud sounds but If I hear a sound above a certain noise threshold I start to have a panic attack. It sucks.
Thank you! I have ADHD and I too have wondered to myself if I could wish it away, would I? The answer is immediately no. I love the way ADHD has influenced my personality and enhanced my abilities for compassion and empathy among other things. I think of ADHD as a trait that has its drawbacks but also has its advantages. And really, there's tradeoffs to everything.
Feel the same
My son,who is 4, is on the spectrum and loves your physics videos. Having never been exposed to anyone with autism before he was born. I was terrified after researching it. Now, however, 4 years later, I feel so blessed. Justin is, by far, the most amazing child I have ever been around. Smart, funny and loveable
My son is autistic and he was easily the most cuddly, loving, and empathetic of my kids. He's so empathetic that he can't cope with people being angry because he absorbs everyone's emotions like a sponge. He worries about animals, and panics if he even has negative thoughts.
Buuuuut he also never says "thank you" or "I love you" and refuses to smile in pictures. He hates apologizing. His attitude seems to be that he's psychically absorbing everyone else's feelings, why can't they do the same for him? 😂 He demonstrates his feelings very well, but you'll miss it if you don't know him.
I was diagnosed with Dyspraxia at age 2, but it wasn’t till age 24 I was diagnosed with ASD and 27 with ADHD too. This is not a reflection of how little the conditions affected me, in fact I now have learnt so much about why I struggled so much. The main reason for delays in my case was my mental health and gastrointestinal comorbidities were so intense, they overtook the focus from a health perspective. It wasn’t till during COVID when I coincidentally met an ASD expert who suspected I had ASD within 5 minutes of speaking to me! Sad it was missed for so long and like me there is many others who have been in the same situation. Ohh and I’m in the UK and our waiting lists are up to 7 years, so I had to pay a small fortune for the diagnosis. Ironically the ADHD assessment cost even more 😢
"I think that's wrong, I'm really just rude, or German" Wow, that had me in tears.
I have a diagnosis of Germanic Rudeness Disorder myself. Her throwaway gags are nearly always zingers. That’s why I admire her so deeply.
@@ashroskell I'm autistic and I was just recently joking with my German mother about how Germans are "basically just autistic" and that's why they're misunderstood. ...the obsession with order. ...the weird humor. ...the rudeness. ..the intense special interests in science, math, and research. ...the fascination with trains. Etc. Lol
We were both laughing so hard for that whole conversation.
@@clicheguevara5282 : Awesome. I wasn’t kidding about being diagnosed with both Autistic Spectrum stuff and ADD, and I am often perceived as being, “over assertive,” (a logical impossibility if you understand the definitions of those words) with strangers, when I just think I’m being direct. I guess I say the quiet parts out loud too much?
The irony is, I was very successful as a psychotherapist and family therapist, taking the then Queen’s shilling, for preventing kids being taken into care, wherever possible, safe and in the interests of the child. But my history with friendships and relationships has always been rocky.
Your mum sounds great. I bet I’d get along with you guys rather well. Thanks for the comment. Made me smile, my friend.
snappine is my new name to honor this scientist by.
@@clicheguevara5282 Funny how, as germany became less and less german, the deutsche bahn became worse and worse.
It all just makes sense.
Not everybody is neurodivergent. Despite a lot more people being identified, we're still a minority. I was only diagnosed at 40 years old because at 2 years old there was a suspicion by my parents and the pediatrician, but because I am level 1 and my symptoms are ,"light", everybody pushed away the possibility and I struggled all my life with not fitting in, feeling a weirdo, being bullied, having a lot of difficulties making and keeping friends. Only somewhere around my teens I started to relate to autism characteristic but I also shrugged the idea because of how I thought all autistic people were like (based on the stereotypical level 3 autistic). Only when I met some other lady level 1 like me and realized we were so alike, I finally realized autism was indeed possible. I was diagnosed by a psychologist specialized in autism, working at the main autism organization in my country. If anyone knows about autism is these guys. Yet, I still feel imposter syndrome all the time and feel embarassed whenever people tell me there is no way I am autistic. I get why some people hold on to their Asperger diagnosis, because for a level 1 autistic, it is hard to be taken seriously when we don't present as obviously autistic but claim we are. People don't believe us.
This shows how outdated your info still is on autism cuz of not being taught properly about the diagnosis and autism as a whole. There aren't "levels". That was a term to try to categorize what is in reality a spectrum. There aren't levels to it. That was what the past people assumed, but it has been realized to not be the case the past decade. I kindly suggest looking into it more and updating your knowledge of it. Not being mean or a dick, i genuinely do recommend researching it more. I did 5 years ago for my senior project in high school because i myself dealt with people misunderstanding ehat autism actually is. I highly recommend doing the same, but fon't look at autism speaks because it is a toxic place trying to "cure" autism. It can't be cured cuz it isn't a disease. It's a disorder. They treat it how mental disorders were treated decades ago, back when lobotomy was medically approved. But that is an outdated and harmful mindset they are giving to parents of people like me with autism. So be careful where you get your information as you research autism to learn the modern knowledge of it.
@@ZapStrideGaming while I don't personally like the 'level' system either, it is in fact still currently relevant and used for diagnostic and support purposes
The amount of people saying “this whole generations becoming autistic!” Or whatever even though we are still only about 1.5% of the population kinda baffles me.
@@ZapStrideGaming I appreciate that you mean well, but you are preaching from ignorance. The ideas of 'spectrum' and 'level' are not mutually exclusive. There is utility in dividing a spectrum into levels for reference. For example, light exists as a spectrum, yet it is useful to conceptually divide it into segments aka 'levels' like IR, UV, microwave, x-ray, and so on. Similarly, there are significant differences between people on either extreme of an autism spectrum. It is useful to categorize these differences, sometimes as 'levels'. Sometimes it is more useful to discuss autism as a spectrum. Both approaches are useful in their own way, depending on context, just like when discussing light. Thank you, my autism requires me to correct you, but I still love you as a person.
@@RGamingBlastoise
It's all because of the DSM-5, the DSM-5 was not about scientific progression, it is all about selling illnesses and disorders to make more people purchase drugs and interventions.
It's part of our capitalistic societies.
The DSM-5 has blurred the lines and expanded the boundaries too far, numerous people get misdiagnosed. The NIMH said the DSM-5 should not be made, the leaders knew it would be a scientific nightmare. Psychiatry is corrupted by capitalism.
They have simply labelled every behavior autistic people exhibit 'autism trait', when you look at these behaviours one by one we see they are actually ordinary human behaviours and not traits of any condition.
Since they are general human behaviours humans in general see themselves performing 'autism traits' so they assume they are slightly autistic but not autistic enough for a diagnosis.
There is no autism epidemic as many are saying, the genes associated with autism are persistent because of evolution, these mutations enhance the adaptability of the population as a whole. If everyone was autistic our population wouldn't survive as diversity is essential for survival, so the idea we're all autistic is even contradictory to evolution.
In my experience, working with children with ASD in a mainstream primary school, strategies that work well for those children are generally beneficial for all children as well. School would be an easier place to be for everyone if we can make it an easier place to be for neurodivergent children.
Exactly. All humans are alike in some way, and are all just animals at that. It’s like training a dog, that’s how I view it regarding my experience at least.
Amen
School is such a cage, like offices. Hence I pulled my child out of school. Why have we normalized such places.
@@transformlikeaphoenix
It was Francis Galton, he's the one who invented the 'normal' human as superior then produced a one-size-fits-all classifying diversity as a disease.
It's the result of the racist Eugenics Movement.
@transformwithloveandrespec3881 So what's the plan after home schooling? Which industry will they work in? What sort of job?
#autism 🎉welcome. I knew I liked you for a reason. Late diagnosed myself and love how you collect the data and analyze giving a logical conclusion. Rude? No, no...misunderstood for your directness. I love it, but then again, I have a little German in me somewhere. Oh, I came across the sabators during Special Interest Group for Neurodiversity, "Austism Speaks" and makes it hard for me as an ASD. I just like solving problems and now I know why I could understand the kids when their parents couldn't. Loved the 2024 Standford Neurodiversity Conference, especially the violinist attending UCSC (slug here) and the high schooler who made a resource database for other ASD and others using IT, augmented speaking devices. I heard them all loud and clear. So inspiring!❤
😊
As a child my report card usually had a check mark beside “effort not commensurate with ability.” For my entire life I was accused of not trying, not paying attention, not caring. Sadly, even my first wife engaged in belittling me for my various deficiencies. I say ‘sadly’ because she is a board-certified behavior analyst with a PhD in psychology who was withholding information regarding my *neurodivergence* because (in her words) she didn’t want me using it as an excuse. After decades of struggles, I was diagnosed with extreme ADHD at 36. Nevertheless, licensed psychiatrists told me that I didn’t have ADHD, because you don’t earn a PhD if you’re like that. It took another 10 years before I was diagnosed as being on the ASD. Looking back over my life, the signs were pretty obvious: slow verbal development, conversational non sequiturs, stimming so hard the floor vibrates, sleep problems, digestive problems, anxiety, depression, and the failure of other people to understand my superior sense of humor.
As Bob Marley said, “Every man think his burden is the heaviest;” so I’m not whining for my sake. I only hope we can do better for our kids.
I only hope
same
What are conversational non sequiturs?
@@NeedMorePlebs I often jump to a topic that is only connected to the current conversation via my own stream of consciousness. So, it kinda comes from left field.
I’m almost 30 years from Latin classes, but IIRC, it means “doesn’t follow,” or something like that.
So do you have comorbid ADHD and ASD or just ASD? The overlap between these two is goddamn confusing and I think I also have both
I worked in a school for children with Autism and Down's Syndrome. While doing some flashcard math with a 6 year old child sitting across his desk from me wrote the answers upside down and backwards so I could read them.
Americans scammed OXYS and XANAXX and fentanyl and now their hitting adhd meds…all the scammers from COVID because you can talk into our phone and don’t have to go into a DRS room…stupid parents who are scamming making their kids adhd so they can get pills…and influencers on tik tok and UA-cam giving away tips and hints to get late diagnosis it’s PATHETIC!!!!!!!
Wow. Sounds like that kid has an acute sense of others and their needs and not just himself and his world.
See? And they say we don't have empathy.
a fun trick to do this is to just write with your left hand unless you are not right handed
I wish we could have more clarity on the "lack empathy" trope with ASD. We're actually far more empathetic and considerate than we are given credit for, we just have different ways to express this and may take a little longer to process our thoughts about the situations.
I was diagnosed at 40. My mother was advised to get me assessed when I was 5 but she couldn’t be bothered. I used to practice facial expressions and social interactions in the mirror and always thought everyone did this until my assessment. My son was diagnosed at 3.
"My mom couldn't be bothered".... Oh man... I can relate to that. I don't have ASD but if I got a 20 dollar bill for every time my parents avoided me or lied to me I'd be REALLY rich.
That has to be the most painful discovery in one’s life. I hope you do well
This is besides your point, but practicing that stuff in the mirror isn't so unusual. At least, I don't think it is! I certainly do it. But there is likely an observable difference in the way someone with autism does it versus without.
@@randomuser5443 not painful at all, it made all my life make sense. I’m actually really proud of it, I am really good at certain things because I hyper focus on learning all about certain subjects how to do things perfectly and I became the go to specialist at my previous job. I’m now an artist and can finally work my creative side.
@@lisasteel6817 well then, i hope to replicate your success. Im half your age and going to college
17:00 I do not have an ASD diagnosis myself, but the general opinion on Autism Speaks from the majority of ASD diagnosed people I've met in my life is that they do far more harm than good for the image of autism and that most people with ASD do not support their actions. I think this sentiment is worth recognizing and pursuing for a "Charitable Organization working for the betterment of those diagnosed with ASD" and its probably pretty important for them to listen to the people who are begging them to stop something most, and find out why. It does not seem to be a fringe or uncommon opinion about Autism Speaks.
I have an example when the “conventional” idea caused a problem. I had polio when I was a baby which led to a deformed foot. My father kept telling me to point my foot forward. There’s advantages to that because having a foot sticking out sideways makes you trip over the door frame! But later in life I realised that it was causing stress and pain in my knee. It took ages to unlearn pointing my foot forward but now that I can do it, I have only had to learn to watch out for door frames (which doesn’t hurt).
I'm in the unmasking ASD process now. Hoping to gain quick skills to navigate all those "door frames" out there.
This is such a wonderful story. Thank you so much for sharing it. I'm going to share this on a blog site, but I will keep your identity hidden. Thanks in advance.
Having a sideways foot can also cause problems in your knee, though, no ?
@@STStudios98 I'm sure it can, but I think it's better than twisting your knee inwards, and if your foot is shaped to point outwards, I think as long as your knee and legs are still pointing forwards and you can walk normally, it should be fine.
@@STStudios98 not when your knee is also sideways. Or to say a differently there are likely a whole bevy of other issues going on due to polio that make this the more comfortable solution. Pointing a foot forward to prevent a knee issue is pretty low on the list in the face of those
As one who has spent decades learning about autism, it became apparent less than halfway through that this was a fair and thoughtful treatment. Well done Sabine!
My observation is Sabine does that with notable skill. She is one of the few I will consistently share and or recommend to others looking to be informed on a topic.
They are very likely to take away some solid, practical perspective and enough basic knowledge to continue along from a rational, useful position.
That is high value these days. Always is, and was. However, given the growing mess public discourse is today, the need for Sabine and others seeking to add to the dialog, is serious and growing.
We are lucky to have her, and I enjoy her work.
@@DougDingus Quite.
Relevant: Mark Manson's article "The benefits of being Slightly Crazy"
Then Dr Tony Attwood has said in essence he thinks the functional Neurodivergence will slowly blend into the allistics long term to cause the next stage of human evolution.
The normies are the natural majority to keep the species functional and stable.
The others like me bring extra flair and more dramatic changes.
A society of exclusively Neurodivergence at my level would likely be too anarchic to work 😂😂
As a mother with a neurodivergent family, this is one of the best explained videos I’ve seen to date, on autism. New subscriber😊. What has been beneficial to my children: diagnosis early, start therapies early, and a supportive school system (mine are fortunate to attend a school specialised for disabilities) which enables them to thrive and learn and form friendships and communities. We have been very fortunate, because not every town/city/country has this.
I love this. I was diagnosed when I was 24 and I cannot imagine how differently my life would be with support like that. You rock
supportive family members are also very very helpful! thank you for being understanding, from an autistic woman who didn't have an understanding mother. i appreciate you.
you will love the videos about quantum gravity and super determinism
Hi Rebeccaw. How are you doing???
Loved the video, Sabine. Of course, you're preaching to the choir, so I'm not sure if my opinion matters much ;-) I haven't been diagnosed by a professional, all I did was take an online test. It basically confirmed two of my major handicaps: sensitive to depression, and struggling with social interaction. It was comforting, after more than fifty years on this planet, to finally realize that my baseline is simply different. I have a close friend who truly believes in 'life is what you make it' ... and she will never really understand why for me it's just harder. A typical case of there being no substitute for experience. Video's like this and people confirming it make it a less lonely place.
Many of these diagnoses are shared with FASD (fetal alcohol spectrum disorder), which is estimated to be 5x more common than ASD and also shares symptoms with ADHD, physical symptoms like chronic ear infections, poor circulation, etc. Unfortunately, it isn’t very well known, and many people are misdiagnosed with other things like ADHD or ASD so just thought I’d share another neurodivergence.
Yes, yes yes! I had chronic ear infections as a child, and studied FASD intensely as I have many job hours of clinical studies and interview footage concerning FASD and you are absolutely correct, not only that but unfortunately as you said nobody really knows this stuff.
Lead poisoning can cause ADHD-like difficulties and the US has more lead in its water than most countries, but oh no, people on the internet want you to worry about red dye in food
I had a lot of ear infections as a kid, but my mum doesn’t drink.
She smokes a bit but I dunno what she did when she was pregnant
Fasd requires impaired intelligence. If this is not present the dx is a complete r/o
@@candinunya5211 There are multiple FASDs, and if you have FAS (the most severe form), ‘impaired intelligence’ would be more apparent. But the most common form of FASD is a spectrum and presents itself in several ways. There also isn’t really a proper way to gauge every child’s intelligence. It’s a neurodivergence.
In my late teens (1980s) I searched and searched the psychology section of our county library for books that might cover people like me because I was sure I could not be the only one. I never found anything. I had no idea that 'autism' was a label that fitted me like a glove until reading a book review in the Independent when I was in my mid thirties. The book was by Sula Wolff, about autistic loners. I got my first professional diagnosis ten years later, and in another country. But after buying and reading Sula Wolff's book I never had any doubt I was autistic.
A few years ago I stood alone waiting for service at a car main dealer, carefully following the lines of the steel struts of the roof with my gaze. It turned out that the lady who eventually came to talk to me has a son who is a structural engineer with ASD. She said she could see immediately that I was autistic like her son, even before approaching me, because she observed the wrapt attention with which I was visually analysing the structure of their building, oblivious to everyone and everything.
The relationship between empathy and autism is difficult to conceptualise and difficult to understand. I have been accused of selfishness and self-absorption but also noted for being unusually empathetic and sympathetic towards others, particularly strangers and colleagues at work (as opposed to personal friends or relatives) - both are actually true. I can't really explain it.
I have the same issues man
This is relatable.
My son would relate. He actually had a similar instance of being spotted from a distance, the person knew just by watching him for a few minutes. He also has expressed your last sentiment and id have to agree… he is more empathetic than both my wife and I… we joke he’s an “empath” but those that don’t take the time to get to know him only see him as self-absorbed and uncaring.
Would you say that you are excellent at being caring in situations where you clearly understand the other person's emotions, but sometimes miss others' frustrations in situations where you didn't know you were "behaving selfishly"?
I have been thinking a lot recently about the relationship between empathy, compassion, kindness, and social cues. This comment really made me remember all of the times I've been shocked by the thoughtfulness of my autistic friends. But I can also think of times when I've been really irritated with them because they've done things that felt especially inconsiderate.
I think in my experience, kindness from my autistic friends tends to be very deliberate and intentional, which makes it feel particularly thoughtful. Whereas moments of "selfishness" tend to be very casual and careless, which can make them feel particularly inconsiderate. I don't know if they feel the same way about these situations, though.
I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.
I'm glad you're raising awareness of the little-talked about group I also find myself in, who suffer from the "being german" disorder.
florian
Elaborate on that disorder please.
@@onlythetruth883
ua-cam.com/users/shorts0fMzJtWKQYY?si=XpOuFchSKO6UtznM
🇩🇪
As a mostly German, and part English, Irish, & Czech American mutt, I absolutely identify with everything you shared at the end but am more confused about it all due to... well, being a mutt.
Although I'm a year late on watching this video, I want to express my heartfelt appreciation and gratitude for your research & sharing this video/topic as my son is on the autism spectrum (I'm biased in the naming convention and believe that the term "autism spectrum" succinctly identifies & conveys the traits and their breadth/depth, so this topic touches home. Of all of the books I've read, videos I've watched, and discussions I've participated in, none has covered the topic with such clarity, succinctness, precision, and humor. It's a "must watch" for children (when they can understand it), parents, family, friends, and the public at large.
For those who are on the autism spectrum journey, and their loved ones, I'd like to share my experiences and thoughts in the hopes that some of them might be helpful and useful to you on your journey. I must ask for forgiveness for the length as I do my best to share some highlights.
My family and I are so blessed by the advancements in the field of autism research and education (as Dr Hossenfelder discussed) as our son was identified as having a Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) at the 12-15 month point (through scheduled wellness checks) and immediately received medical intervention support right away. He was then diagnosed as being on the Autism Spectrum at 36 months and received immediate education and continued medical intervention support. From there, our journey has been nothing short of miraculous and it's hard to fully express how life-changing his journey has been for our family. Being present to witness & experience the joy, love, and determination that he brings into the world and our lives every single day, along with watching & learning from every Occupational Therapist (OT), school teacher, paraprofessional/teacher's aid, speech & language pathologist, and the amazing public school administrators and staff whose hearts & focus are dedicated to the students and inclusion has been the highlight of my life without equal. As an American, I'd be remiss if I didn't express our gratitude to every school teacher who has to teach and care for students on the autism spectrum when fire or active shooter drills take place, and especially during active shooter events. My intention isn't to discuss the events, but rather recognize what teachers have to plan for and respond to in these situations as they truly are heroic.
I'd also like to share that, along with the aforementioned, the quantity and diversity of extracurricular resources that are available have been equally important including summer intensive reading camps (Arizona State University for example), Therapeutic Horseback Riding, gymnastics & cross-fit classes organized and led by those in the fields of Special & Physical Education, swimming (which is so very important due to elopement in children with autism & tragically wandering into pools, lakes, etc), and Special Educator led social skills classes. Every single organization, coach, and teacher are an inspiration to me with their skill and devotion to every student.
Additionally, when speaking of elopement and wandering into pools/etc, there are inexpensive electronic devices/watches that can track your child's location using GPS & wrist bands that have In Case of Emergency (ICE) contact information which provide a layer of safety and security. It's also helpful to meet your local first responders and have your loved one and family introduce themselves while learning about their organization, mission, and important contact numbers and resources.
Although I recognize that this can go sideways really quickly, I'd like to thank my government and public education system for their focus on researching & understanding autism, for devoting the funds and resources that are required for it, for directing that public schools hire the numerous specialized professionals and have in-classroom & pull-out space and resources to support their education, for directing & implementing an Individual Education Plan (IEP) for every special education student and organizing an IEP team with parental involvement and participation, for educating teachers and staff on autism and emerging approaches and therapies to help them throughout their education, and for the students in the classroom that follow the teachers lead in embracing and including them in classroom learning and out of classroom activities.
I'd like to end with a short story about one of the most beautiful things I've seen in my life thanks to our son and the public school system. For his 7th birthday, his school and teacher allowed us to bring cupcakes into class during one of their recesses and celebrate his birthday with the class. When we showed up to the classroom, the teacher got the students together and lined them up to go to the recess pavilion. There were two students on the autism spectrum in his class with our son being one of them and a boy who was a new student with his family having recently moved to the area from Iraq. Unfortunately, the boy was having a difficult time (Dr Hossenfelder captured this in the video noting the difficulties with unplanned transitions along with other responses including self-stimulation and fight or flight) and ran to a bush and started crying. I then watched about 5 or 6 of his classmates spontaneously run to where he was at (which wasn't far) and console/encourage him. We then went to the recess pavilion and the same 5 of 6 students sat by him and stayed with him throughout - the joy that was on his face, and on our son's face, was/is unforgettable. We also celebrated other student's birthdays for the month and it is one of the most memorable birthday moments that we'll never forget.
I hope that some of this might help someone out there. I know your journey is uniquely yours, as all of ours are, and that the journey is filled with questions, concerns, worries, and expectations. I know that not every country, state, city, and school is the same and that resource constraints exist in some more than others. I share this as what Dr Hossenfelder alluded to at the end, with the fog and friction that's unintentionally and intentionally caused by terms and perceptions, is a reality and I've witnessed and experienced some of it along the journey. I've learned that the journey naturally comes with more fog than clarity (especially for parents and family) and sometimes includes friction even between those who truly want nothing but the best for the child/student or cause. My prayer and wish are that we might pause during those moments, look at our child/the student (or envision them if they're not present), and look at the Autism Speaks puzzle piece with "us" (parent, teacher, etc) being the puzzle piece with the puzzle being us (parent, teacher, etc) and our child/the student together. Sometimes, more often than not and more than some of us are willing to recognize, we're the missing piece.
May love and laughter light your days, and warm your heart and home. May good and faithful friends be yours, wherever you may roam. May peace and plenty bless your world with joy that long endures. May all life’s passing seasons bring the best to you and yours!
I've had great difficulty in my years dealing with people and trying to understand things that come naturally to others. I was diagnosed with high functioning ASD at 45. It was an incredible relief to finally know I'm not stupid. I have difficulty understanding social situations and making friends, but I have the ability to fix most anything without having prior knowledge of how the broken thing functioned in the first place. What comes easy to me seems impossible for most others. Thank you for this video!
Yup , dude , me too . I relate a lot to that , as a child I was really curious about how things works and I learned quickly how to disassemble and reassemble things .
As someone who has Autism and went trough many of such programs, I can honestly say the "special treatment" has had the opposite effect and I can now handle social pressure less well if not at all because I have been made too self aware.
I feel this
As I've gotten older and more aware of myself, realizing thatI have ASD has definitely given me closure. Unfortunately, it has the additional effect of making me very reserved out of fear of making an ass of myself like when I was younger.
@@Solis_Pulchrus Yeah same. Although the world perceived us as making an ass of ourselves. I feel like that's the way we learn and if people had been less harsh in their responses this could've been entirely avoided. Probably the best thing is home schooling for people like us, as the environment is always overwhelming no matter where they put us.
In some ways the world has become a lot better and in other ways the world has adopted a lot of facistic ideas by excluding certain types of people from society. As it's pretty clear to me that we're just being systematically cancelled from having normal lives so that the normal people can feel self entitled and judge anything that falls outside of the "norm" what is a norm anyway? lol
I honestly think it’s intentionally handicapping them since instead of causing to grow and learn irregardless of their difficulties it’s causing them to be complacent in their ability and that they need not try, maybe a lot of people aren’t diagnosed as autistic because the world didn’t Give a single shit and those who struggled worked harder and those who didn’t didn’t.
@@notchs0son Exactly, it's all to set a basis for what's normal. How can we even say what is normal when it's such a large percentage of humanity that has it? Perhaps it is normal to have Autism and it is being turned in to a problem... It supposes a problem when the leaders of our world want to put everyone in a box so that every day people keep the gears of society running. It is facism with extra steps
Pro-tip, don't ever tell anyone you're Autistic, the moment they know you'll become a non-person in their eyes and just "a walking diagnosis", never bring it up to anyone who doesn't know about it.
I have always suspected that this may be my issue. I adopted two girls out of a bad situation and the oldest was diagnosed with Asbergers and it has been painful to watch her try to fit in. I think she may be the loneliest person in the world and she just can’t understand why the other kids ostracize and bully her. It breaks my heart to see how hard she tries and I am amazed at the amount of cruelty that is directed toward her because she is different. She is a beautiful person and I have done everything I can to make her and her sister happy. It is so sad what she has deal with.
That other kids are cruel to her has only one source: that the adults are not slapping those other kids once or twice until they stop. Bullying has nothing to do with either bullies or those who are being bullied: it's rooted in adults not stepping up to set social norms that bullying will be punished severely. In other words: it's YOUR fault. Now stop complaining and do your job as an adult!
@@schmetterling4477 what am I supposed to do, go to the school and kick the shit a out of some kids then spend the rest of my life in jail? I took one set of parents to court but the problem was endemic and it accomplished nothing. Sorry, it is obvious you don’t have a clue
@@jayleeper1512 No, you kick the shit out of the principal. An adult does that with a simple threat: "Please do your job of protecting my child or my attorney will do it for you. Thank you for your time."
I was in several schools. The last one was the best. The difference? It had an iron fisted principal. There was no bullying. Why? Because if there was any noise in the courtyard he would call the teachers in who were supposed to take care of it and dress them down. Then he would call the kids who caused it in and dress them down. If it happened a second time he would call the parents of the kids in and dress them down. When it happened the third time (it only did once in six years) he called the authorities and had the problem child removed from the premises, in that one case in a police car. That was a great school. I never had any problems there. Nobody did.
So, yeah. Get yourself an attorney who knows how to make life hard for the people who the state entrusts with the protection of your child, if necessary. If you can tell that those people can't be trusted even after those threats, find a better school for your child. That is YOUR JOB. OK?
That’s horrible. Poor little angel.😢
I suggest trying to find other autistic kids for her to meet, because I personally wish I had autistic friends since finding out that I was autistic at 25. But don't force anything, let friendships happen naturally if they're going to happen at all.
I really appreciate your new ones approach to this topic. My mom ran a therapeutic horse farm that I taught at for years which primarily taught classically autistic children. They were all severely disabled. Done when I was 39 years old I had a therapist suggest that I should get tested for autism, and I was completely blown away because the only side of autism that I previously seen was so different from what my experience has been. I completely ignored it at first because I was in denial. My sister and my son were diagnosed with autism so I thought I better get tested, too. Actually, I’m still on the waitlist to get my test, but I’ve had several doctors/psychiatrists confirm that I will get the diagnosis.
So I came to the conclusion that I was autistic in my 30s, and that likely my father and sister were too. I told my mother about this and she immediately started researching it. One day, she was reading on her iPad about Dr Asperger and my Austrian father leaned over and said "oh, that's my old doctor". Apparently my oma had taken my dad to the Viennese paediatrician clinic because "she didn't know what else to do with him". My dad never connected his childhood Dr. Asperger to "Asperger Syndrome" or his own nerdiness, until we pointed it out in his 70s.
Yeah, you shouldn't self diagnose with autism just because. It makes it look like a fad, and is detrimental to people with actual autism.
Wow that's an amazing history
You cannot diagnose yourself with autism, nor your family members.
Nerdiness. That's a nice word for it. I'll take it :)
You are not autistic.
"I'm not rude and awkward, I'm just German" - love it. In all seriousness, there is an important point here, every culture has its own leaning towards individualism and collectivism, and how much atypical behaviour is or is not accepted. I think there is a tendency in modern culture, as hollow as it is, to appropriate pretty much anything to wear as a badge or to feel some sense of belonging, whilst at the same time wishing to stand out from the mainstream. Speaking personally I've always had patterns of behaviour that would match the description of 'socially divergent' but I've never felt the need to wear the t-shirt. My loved ones know and accept it and that's really all that matters to me.
Exactly.
To be fair when I ask my doctor if I should get diagnosed he said thet if I don't have probalms thet can be better address with a diagnosis I should not bother
i love how fully thorough the video is ! though, i feel it's important to add - i personally have seen plenty of criticism against autismspeaks offline, not just online (ive really seen much more of it offline tbh but perhaps thats because im not on twitter aha). granted, i was mainstreamed fairly early, meaning the majority of my autistic friends are also those who are in mainstream classes, so while there is a sampling bias there, i also know that both my highschool's committee that runs a school-wide autism acceptance day and my college's neurodiversity activism club have taken a strong stance against autismspeaks. while many of their mission statements like were mentioned in the video are certainly positive and not what they once were, their actions speak louder than their words, and the very small percentage of funding that actually helps familites, having a board of all allistic people despite the criticism, and even reseraching information that /could/ be used for eugenics, even if they claim they don't plan to use it for that, is irresponsible. if people would like to know of charities that carry out their principles more effectively, check out ASAN !
Thank you for saying this, they've also done ads and research that demonizes autism in a really horrifying way, here's an example: ua-cam.com/video/9UgLnWJFGHQ/v-deo.html.
They've done research where they use electric shock as punishment, not for violent behaviors but for stimming to try and "cure" autism. It is really awful stuff and it sucks that they present themselves so nicely on the outside because they are really an awful org who many people think is a nice charity.
As someone who works with young people with ASD, I'm impressed by the precision and thoroughness of this video. It's almost hard to believe that you didn't have any information on this complex subject before making this presentation.
All my respect for your work.
In Australia the Intelligence organisation ASIC realised many people with ASD were perfect for Intelligence jobs but were struggling to get past the application process which was based upon traditional hiring processes... so they changed the application process.
Yes, that followed successful programs initiated at, IIRC, Hewlett Packard company. They go through quite a rigorous selection process to identify individuals with the specific characteristics they need.
Don't be a fed, that's really lame.
And henceforth the created a new biotope in the workplace which 10 000 years later turned into a new species that colonized venus. It's said that the homo venus people discriminate against homo sapiens in the job application interviews 😂
16:38 Autistic here, distaste towards Autism Speaks is not a small niche at all, I’d bargain it’s a very popular consensus among autistics. While I can’t say for certain whether their MSSNG projects is bad, and indeed they have gone back on some of their extreme positions, a majority of autistics harbor a deep resentment towards AS because they initially misrepresented and demonized autism pretty hard, such as describing it as “faster than pediatric AIDS, cancer, and diabetes combined”. They also used to be a big proponent of “curing” autism, which I and a lot of other autistics aren’t a big fan of as it’s just something that leads to way more pain than just finding acceptance. I’ll be the first to admit that they’re technically not as bad as they used to be, but after the damage they’ve caused they’ve done nothing that warrants forgiveness from the autistic community.
Agree! They also had one autistic on their board but that person left due to issues with AS, and they have not replaced that person with another autistic. How can on org say they're there to help autistic yet they won't have one on their board? Huge red flag for me!
I have autism (diagnosed as a child). And to have you take a sound scientific view on the matter is lovely. I'm 70 and have studied ealier in life of this condition (and found ways of living with it). And I found that being open about it, accept that others don't can or won't understand, makes things easier.
me as well, but could never settle down and put together a family. but still had many girlfriends. and broke a lot of hearts. prefer my own space
Thank you for sharing!
@@xstensl8823 Yea, I have trouble breaking my rythm enough for a new relationship. Even a new job is tough but I can usually find one with a daily rythm
While a fan of the channel, I put off watching this video because of the polemic title. But it's actually very nuanced and a good introduction to the condition and some of the current attitudes toward it. Well done, Sabine et al!
Such a great overview! I was delighted to see you tackle this subject, and very happy to see you dive into the controversies going on as the autistic community (myself included) figure out how to be our best selves. Thanks!
Why does it say $9.99 in a colored oval?
@@stephendevoreAlex tipped the video creator.
@@stephendevore I really wish it didn't. I gave a tip, and UA-cam showed it. Personally, I wish they'd let tippers hide that if we want to - it actually keeps me from tipping some days.
@@AlexONeal You're the MVP bro. Anonymous tippers deserve more hugs.
The bad thing about this video is that the "charity" autism speaks doesn't listen to autistic people who can speak. It isn't about autistic people getting their own voice, but actively silences those who can by labeling them as extreme.
It's mostly about how everyone is over diagnosed these days, not that no one should be diagnosed
@@_linlin_ I don't think I said anything about over diagnosis but it seems to me like the "crisis" of over diagnosis is just a result of people not being aware there was a problem, and then upset when confronted by it. Remember that even if you know of one hundred autistic influencers that's just a hundred people. It might seem like a lot, but it's not. They have a platform because they're highly motivated. Autistic people have one of the lowest life expectancies of any group. They have an audience because the small proportion of people that are autistic finally have someone saying what they're feeling. What you're experiencing as over diagnosis is just a bunch of highly motivated people. It's really the same as political representation online. A politically moderate person isn't as motivated as someone with extreme views. As a result, you hear extremes more often than moderate views.
Another thing is that many autistics find it easier to communicate online rather than the real world. Online you can find dedicated special interest groups really easily so you can express your love of something with people who feel the same. It’s also just easier to communicate online than it is in real life. Neurotypicals may not be as inclined nor really want to join these groups so it’s no surprise that when you look inside you find a bunch of neurodiverse people.
Our healthcare system is backwards. Instead of focusing on keeping people healthy it treats sick people. Since the US has a for profit system this means medical professionals work in an environment where finding an illness makes them money. That encourages giving any kind of diagnosis regardless of it being necessary or helpful to the person.
@@_linlin_
If you would think about things a bit more you would realise there is no over diagnosis, it's just an illusion.
Look through the DSM and turn the language into casual language, read it out to a friend and ask if they know anyone of such. Everyone you do that to will say "yes" every time, do you know why?
The DSM System is only the diagnostic criteria to be diagnosed as a human.
Science twisted everything back to front in the 19th century when they invented the normal human.
Variation is the rule, not the exception.
Society has simply given everyone who doesn't fit the social norm a label and the criteria is just a description of a human, that's why homosexuality and left handedness were in the DSM, they did not fit the norm.
Disorders have more to do with social settings, and not biology.
Science is supposed to be objective, the only objective explanation for a 'normal human' is it's normal for humans to be diverse. This is why more and more scientists are turning against the ideology of normal, because countless times it has just resulted in prejudice delusional conclusions like the female inferiority doctrine. The female inferiority doctrine caused feminism, another political movement.
Science based on the concept of normality is the origin of discrimination, prejudice, and bad science.
I'm autistic (diagnosed in adulthood, back in 2013 pre-TikTok, if that matters to anyone), and I mostly liked your coverage. I did find it a bit US-centric, though? I'm Norwegian, and we don't use the DSM for diagnosis, but the ICD. In the ICD-10, autism is not a "mental health condition". It's a "pervasive neurodevelopmental disability". I think that's an important and powerful distinction to make. Most of us live under the assumption that mental health conditions, like depression, anxiety, or bipolar disorder, can be treated, to one extent or another, and that the mental health condition is separate from who we are as people, like diabetes doesn't define someone's essence. Whereas "pervasive neurodevelopmental disability" makes it clear to anyone and everyone that autism is ingrained in us. We cannot be cured. We cannot be fixed. We cannot be medicated out of being autistic. It's a description of our neurological wiring. Without autism, we would be different people altogether, because it's pervasive. It's a disability, which provides a different legal status and higher protection than that of someone who has a "mental health condition".
In my experience, I've had a much easier time with financial aid from the government and such, than people I know who struggle with chronic illness and mental health issues. The healthcare system in Norway will try anything to treat the chronic illness and mental health issues, because they're conditions that have developed in life and to which there are treatment plans. I, on the other hand, was born like this and there is no treatment. I suspect that distinction makes it a lot easier for me to get the help I need. So while I think chronically and mentally ill people deserve better, I also caution against reducing autism to a "mental health condition". It's not. Even Wikipedia can tell you that much.
I think the neurodiversity movement is onto something, and I think people have a tendency to race towards the poles. At one end, we have horrible ableism, high stigmas around things like Schizophrenia, the thought that having any kind of disability is "a tragedy" and so on. At the opposite end, we apparently have people who advocate for autism, ADHD, Schizophrenia and the like as being natural variations in human neurodiversity, and thus not debilitating in and of itself? (I've never heard of this until watching this video.) I find myself in the middle. I don't want any of the ableism. I don't want internalized ableism. I don't want to experience ableism from other people, towards myself, or my deafblind family member, or my Schizophrenic family member. I want *all* of us to be treated with respect and dignity. I also don't want our struggles to be erased. We *can* acknowledge that being deafblind, being autistic, or having Schizophrenia are difficult things while *also* working from the assumption that our lives are worth living and that we deserve accommodation, compassion, opportunities, and happiness -- like any other person.
I love how you present your topics with humor and tell your opinion yet truly give an unbiased account of the facts. This is my new favorite channel!
Nearly 21 now and was only told that I’m Autistic afew months ago.
The fact that it wasn’t caught while in school despite the fact I’d gone to several mental health professionals and would breakdown in tears over nothing, frustrates me to no end.
I’m glad that it’s getting easier to get a diagnosis for younger kids.
I'm almost 50 now and lived in this world with ASD all my life too. Genuinely, once you realise that yes, you are different and no, you cannot be what society wants you to be you will be fine. Just don't mask becasue it is the masking that kills us so early on. We believe that we can mask and eventually it all falls apart. There is actuqally some parralels with homosexual man in the early 1900's here becasue they had the same issue of having to mask all the time or risk physical or psychological harm. A lot of suicides in that community happened when they could not continue to live the masked lie.
Just don't do that. Be what you are - not what norms want you to be.
I onyl learned that I had a personality disorder when I was about 32. All of a sudden, I realized why the world was such a frustrating place.
@@lindareed9320not to sound rude. I realize it might be a weirs thing to ask but,
Why would you accept such a diagnosis?
Even if it is true, you would not want the lable right?
There was a time where peolle would hide having "issues" such as autism or ADHD, not even so long ago, even for example 20 years ago high school kids would have ASD and yet be COMPLETELY normal, indistinguishable from any other person to an amazing degree. This is because before social media crybabies, peolle were mean and you had to be "tough" to survive and or thrive. So you had many peolle wkth "issues" that either never even knew they had it or managed very well in coping with it and even thriving because they knew it was either that or everyone would think they're weird or laugh at them. Unfortunately these days, everyone's a crybaby and nearly EVERYONE wants to tell everyone how they have this or that and expect everyone to say "omg I'm so sorry, I'll be so much nicer to you now. Wanna be friends. Let's give you money and attention". I'm not saying that some peolle with ASD or other "issues" back then didn't go home and feel pretty bad having to live a "double life", but on the other hand many people gained strength and true confidence from having to thrive in HARSSH and tough conditions and reality. Today, people will cry or end themselves if the pressure gets too tough or one mean "bully" makes a joke. 20-30 years ago bullies made people tough. Today. Bullies no longer exist or have been pressured by the crybabies to vanish. Oh how social media has changed the younger gen. Gen z is the weakest, saddest, most insecure, most desperate,.most gullible, and most pathetic generation of ALL time. Idk how gen z will survive without their parents. Remember the "idiot movie" where the guy goes to the future and realizes he's the smartest person because everyone else is extremely stupid. That's the direction we seem to be heading. If you don't have to push yourself to gain knowledge or be tough or learn how to fit in with "bullies" or people who can easily push you around or make fun of you, your how will you thrive? Expecting and forcing everyone through guilt tripping them online behind a screen to be nice or be canceled is beyond pathetic. But that's just me. Anyone who went to hs even 20 years ago and especially 30-40 years ago will sigh at today's kids
@@JeroenDoesread my post below yours. Social media and today's pathetic gen z social media insecure desperate kids, have made it That way because they are too weak and pathetic and sad to toughen up and survive in reality. Even 20 years ago people with ADHD or ASD walked around in high school and NOONE noticed because they knew it was either toughen up and push yourself to fit in and be socially likable and NEVER tell anyone you were diagnosed, or be laughed at and made fun of forever. So many people may have had a mental "issue" and never knew it because they HAD to grow out of it. Today, you have to apologize and put everyone with a mental "issue" on a pedestal and worship them or the sad social media copycats will "cancel" you. Kids today are using their "issues" and many even make it up that they have it knowing it's an easy way to gain sympathy, coerce bullies into not targeting them (lest they get canceled by the whole country), and use it as a way to fit in or get support or money or attention. Fkn pathetic. And these gen z kids will one day run the country or have kids on their own? If they're this pathetic imagine how much MORE pathetic their kids will be, if they can even raise kids properly at all without cutting off their penis at age 2 because the young boy said "I like dolls" randomly.
Thank you for making this video. Our son is 8, and has ADHD and ASD - his Pediatrician said that 10 years ago he could have called it Aspergers. The tone and mood of many online support groups have left us reeling from the strident vitriol and blatant intolerance for people with different experiences. In our experience, Autism sucks. Our son battles socially to the point he can't do activities without one of us with him. He can't keep friends because of his ways. School is a disaster and I always have to be available for that phone call from his teacher. The journey to finding medication that properly helps him is fraught. Autism is not a superpower. We see him struggle every day. We should be allowed to say this.
As a neurodivergent (ADHD and Autism) teen girl, I agree with you. I was only diagnosed at age 14, and growing up home life and school were a struggle. It was hard. Just a cycle of being absolutely disappointed in myself because I said or did something that made people avoid me and feeling the shame of my parents because I couldn't live up to their expectations of how I should act in society. So many people around me didn't understand my thought processes, or how I functioned. One of the most specific examples of this was people around me thinking that I was overreacting and attention seeking when I was hurt because of "over exaggerated reactions" when in reality, as an autistic person, I feel feelings so much deeper than the average person, and my feelings were real. My parents who raised me as best as they could, with the efforts of 1000 suns, found it draining to parent me.
Even now, my life is a struggle. With ADHD medication so scarce, and the stresses of my final year in highschool, life is hard. While it's amazing that we are normalising support needs, and non-verbalism, and stimming, and all of this, we should be able to say that we struggle and battle in a world that we don't understand, and that doesn't understand us. It is even hard for our parents who feel so hurt and drained because they love us so much it's hard to see us struggle. It does not make you a bad person or parent to say that the experiences of raising an ADHD and autistic are so hard, because us kids, including at 8, know it as well (except we may not be able to express it). My one piece of advice though is it to share the hardships with your son and not to put the blame on him that could make him feel like a burden.
That being said, there are some amazing advantages to being AuDHD (basically being both ADHD and autistic). The first being that I feel emotions so deep, to the point where it is so overwhelming strong that it has to come out of my body. It so amazing to think about the fact that I experience happiness and love on a whole other level, that I have to hug my sisters and mum and dad or else I feel like I'm going to burst. In addition my pattern recognition skills are incredibly helpful it my everyday life. I've avoided car crashes by swerving into the next lane, been able catch falling objects, and even guess the end of movies (perfect for someone who loves knowing the plot before it even begins).
However, this acceptance has taken an incredibly long time. For me it took 4 years since my diagnosis, and 18 from the time I was born. Same with my parents. The journey is hard, and autism sucks, but it is also gets better and easier as life goes on. In support groups we should be able to confidently say "this is shit", "it's hard", "i hate it for me and my kid", because that's the truth for many, and will remain that way.
@@LaurelKhi just wanted to point out that I think the term you're looking for is neurodivergent. All of humanity is neurodiverse. They are two different terms.
Jen Verwoerd,
If you’ve been telling autistic people you want a cure to autism there’s no wonder they have a go at you, desiring a ‘cure’ sends out a very offensive message. It basically means you believe the world would be a better place if they didn’t exist, that you’re suggesting genocide. Some autistic people have committed suicide because of their parents wanting to cure them.
If you could be more specific with them and stop placing all the blame on the autism they would be far kinder and tolerant with you, how would you feel if your parents kept telling you the world would be better without you?
Communication works in both directions, if there’s communication issues the non autistic people are not trying to understand your son, I suggest you look up the “double empathy problem” and read some of the studies they’ve constructed showing autistic and non autistic people communicate equally well and it’s the mismatches that cause the problems, not the autism.
more voices like you need to be heard. my parents had no idea i was autistic, and neither did i, but the struggles you described your son having are very similar to the ones i went through (and still go through now in my early 20s). i had suspicions that i was different very early on, but only realized i may be autistic around age 19, it took a few years for it to click and here i am... undiagnosed, masked for too long that no one recognizes that i need help, and forced to act like a normal person while going through hell mentally.
never got support, never got heard, and barely got by in those years. i'm the oldest, so my parents had to take care of my younger siblings, and because of that none of my needs were met.all i got from my parents was being pressured to do well in school like a normal kid, while my issues adapting and meeting the demads of the educational system got worse.
all i can think of on a daily basis is what could have been done better for me so that i'd have a better life now instead of living alone with no desire to interact with others in person, unable to find a job (or function well enough to do and keep one for that matter).
i don't want to scare you, my experience in no way reflects what may happen to your son (i know a mother worries the world 10 times over for her children) but i feel like pointers on what i went through could help, even if just a little bit.
my advice for you as someone whose life was essentially wasted due to negligence (and now denial of the fact that i have a condition in the first place because "you're normal, you've always been") is to help your son communicate his feelings, don't be afraid to be abstract, like discussing how feeling a certain emotion mentally and physically feels (how fast are your thoughts running? Are you feeling heat in any particular area?...etc. i'm physically sensitive and it's how i've learned to understand what i'm feeling over the years) put up with incessant need for explanation and "why?" questions, because that may be how he forms understanding, or the dots aren't connecting in his mind because he sees a different picture of it in his mind, unlike neurotypical people. for example, i remember asking my mom "why do i have to wear a suit at this event? why does it matter that i look good? why do people care about that if they'll see me normally dressed every other day?...etc." and she yelled at me, and i still don't have an answer to my questions nor do i get why she got angry at me.
find alternatives to school if possible, he may be going through a lot more socially than you're even aware and simply does not communicate it, and you can definitely expect that in the teenage phase if it's not happening yet, kids and teens are vicious because they don't get how much their words affect others, and they'll target the low hanging fruit, those who are easy to put down, bully and exclude. if my parents had listened to me and discussed alternative attendance options with my school, i could have studied, completed my homeworks and assignments all from home, and only attended school for the tests and exams, without ever having to put up with these pieces of shit in my class 5 days a week for 12 years, always wondering if there's something wrong with me or if i'm doing wrong, feeling trapped, imprisoned through school attendance, forced to conform in uniform and study in my free time where i had no room to express or explore my interests. i could have socialized by attending local events, going to clubs...etc. but my experiences at school and with people in general made me hate and reject going anywhere like that, and now as an adult i feel so far behind on social skills, and i can't mask on command so it's not easy even going out to buy groceries sometimes.
if he has a fascination or obsession with something go 100% in supporting it, it'll probably be his specialty when he grows up. i think back to how many times my parents would unplug my computer when i was having fun learning to mod video games, because "i have to study". or rejecting buying me an instrument to learn music because i'd be too noisy. i never got to explore my passions and my time was wasted on 16 years in the educational system for a degree that isn't what i want to do and isn't even getting me a job. now as an adult i've been conditioned into not doing the things i like because i feel guilty doing it, and instead i spend the time feeling bad about the things i want to be able to do but can't. pretty sure part of it is PTSD, which wouldn't surprise me considering how sensitive to stress and conflict i've always been. knowing how my talents were wasted, when i noticed my younger brother drawing up a very nice doodle and realized he loves art, even though he's not autistic, a bit of encouragement from me and urging my parents to sign him up for art classes after school, now he's a very talented artist with a great job where his artistic skill is involved.
apologies if this was too ranty or if it made you worried, i just wanted to let you know that the struggles you go through raising your child are real and it's neither your fault nor the child's fault, humanity as a whole still has not caught up with understanding autism and how best to help raise and integrate those with the condition into society properly. i fight on the daily to not be part of that suicide statistic because i know i am worth more than what this world has made me feel i am, and i do not wish to give up until i can feel relaxed and able to be myself around others without the constant anxiety and certainly without the masking. and if my experience could help someone not go through the same that i did, or do better than my parents unintentionally did, then that is what i set out to do. these social justice narcissist assholes have hijacked every movement, pretending they're part of it and making it all about themselves, ruining things for those of us who actually are part of these demographics. autism is not politics, it's a disorder that people suffer from, both from having it and from having to raise a child with it in an environment that is not for them.
bless you, have a good day, and remember that your efforts and struggles are worth it for your child's future regardless of the hand he was dealt in life. wish you and anyone with similar struggles the best. Peace! :)
@@LaurelK happy for you that you got your diagnosis early on and are doing well thanks to the support. it's a tough journey and each of us has a unique one to boot, knowing that others go through the same that i did/do does not bring me comfort, rather it bothers me more that my horrible experiences growing up and dealing with people on top of dealing with my autism that i didn't even know about or understand, aren't just some odd fluke or rare occurrence. and worst of all our voices aren't heard because the loudest ones are narcissistic shitbags who pretend to be autistic to get attention to themselves, not caring how they affect those of us who actually struggle with it nor about the fact that they're exploiting other people's struggles and disability for attention.
Thank you for making this video. As someone who slipped under the cracks and was only diagnosed a few months ago at the age of 23, this video is very insightful and informative. My parents don’t understand the struggles of what people with autism go through especially in making friends and socializing. If it wasn’t so difficult, I wouldn’t be struggling with finding employment!
Ye I'm 45 and have always been treated a bit differently because of my 'ways'. Never been diagnosed officially but have been told by friends I definitely show some tendencies toward 'being on the spectrum'. It's been an incredibly insightful learning process these last 5 or so years, and I welcome Sabine's video. As always Sabine, you manage to speak very planely about things that we're all mostly aware of, yet you pull in excellent supporting ideas and aspects that create a really good overview on matters. Thumbs up to you.
I was just diagnosed at 45. I understand the struggle and the never-ending fear of failure and losing my job. You're right.. Nobody understands unless they lived it themselves.
@Rachel Forshee Wow, what a way to be dismissive. It's not that job opportunities don't exist, but as soon as you disclose your diagnosis "you're not suitable for the job" (unless they can profit from it, in my country you get tax exemptions for hiring disabled people and I've heard of autistic people with college degrees who were asked to do a motivational talk if they wanted to keep their jobs at our JP Morgan's local subsidiary)
What that's crazy I'm 23 and got diagnosed a couple weeks ago weird coincidence
"My parents don’t understand the struggles of what people with autism go through especially in making friends and socializing."
I have a daughter with border line autism. She could handle reading, math, algebra, communication,. from early on. etc with a little extra effort as well as anyone. She's in college now. She comes across as very shy and awkward at times.
If you "slippled under the cracks" for 23 years,.. you don't have autism.
That's called being an adolescent. And maybe the covid lockdowns didn't help over the last few years.
Focus nnore on getting an education, obtaining the skills and communicating same that will make you more qualified than any competition there might be for the job,.. rather than focusing on the next new fad reason to be a victim,.. that the recent uber sensitive generations seem to be obssessed with,.... and the other,.. the friends, the socilaizing will follow.
You rock, Sabine - your self-deprecating humour keeps your 'rude truths' in balance - and open...
I was diagnosed at 64. I'm now 70. What led to my seeking a diagnosis was a deterioration in my social skills. At one point during your discussion you referenced "masking." Before my diagnosis I was doing this though I didn't know the term. Masking takes a lot of energy and, as one gets older, one finds that energy diminished. It's now easier just to be alone.
Crap....I know the feeling. I don't like the idea that my social skills could deteriorate. I've been blaming my increasing social exhaustion on people turning into idiots during the pandemic. I loved being quarantined!
Ditto. I play a game with several ladies once a week and that's about as much as I can take. I don't mask with them to the extent that I used to. Such as, l will now often say what is on my mind or correct someone when they have been misinformed. If they don't like it, oh well. So happy to stay home with two cats and a parrot.
Yep. Going through the same thing - I just have less and less energy to mask as I get older, especially when it is unnecessary emotional labor.
After my menopause I started to not care so much what people think of my idiosyncrasies, and now I just can’t be arsed with masking anymore and I’m totally sick of people’s social crap.
I'm 35 and I'm exhausted.
I’m one who fell between the cracks I am now 60 I was diagnosed 12 months ago I really struggled at school but was a cute kid and I bluffed my way through life.Going to school now I think it would have been picked up.I am so glad I worked it out no dr or psychologist has even though I have had cancelling for 30 years I worked it out after doing a course to care for autistic kids and the research led me to a diagnosis after I too did the AQ test on line and got a similar result as this Lady. So nice to understand why my brain works the way it does and why I hear see things differently to most.
Congratulations on ur diagnosis! ❤
I'm autistic and live in Eastern Europe. I went to school in the city center and high school on the edge of the city, and it wasn't that bad in school compared to high school. It's a different world in how i was threated. There were few weird or emo kids in every class, while others were in their own groups. Kids from vilages were primitive beyond belief.
I am 73 and have known that I was very different. God gave me enough brains that I was able to figure out how to blend in and make it through school and the military (during Nam). I could have been an engineer had I been given the correct help growing up. I started life out with all the bad symptoms and had to overcome the important ones to prosper.
I've read comments by people that were treated by Autism Speaks, or directly knew people that underwent treatment. It was basically punishing children so they stop behaving a certain way, for example by shocking them. It really reminds me of gay conversion therapy. I have no first-hand experience with them, but I know enough to recommend more research into what they're actually doing rather than what they say they're doing.
Yeah they seem questionable. I've heard criticisms of them as well.
they were set up overtly to 'find a cure for autism' and are close to universally despised by autistic people
Given anything of this sort ofcause its important to anylize without predjudice first. Given the controvertial nature of the conversation it basically means that its entrenched possitions eager for ammunition to confirm their standpoint and marginaliaisation of anyone that disagrees.
TLDR: if youve ever been on the reciveing end of a drama you know just how utterly bonkers some of the accusations can get as people rile them selfs up so investigation should be done with a level head first and foremost so one can sort out the percieved evils from the acthual ones.
Seems heavy handed and confrontational - total overload.
they have tried to demonize and pathologize autism to a crazy degree, inflating, misrepresenting, or often just outright lying about statistics associated with it. they paint autism as a "disease" that needs to be "cured" (how? by donating to autism speaks, of course), and have pushed the idea that vaccines cause autism, talking out of both sides of their mouth, carrying water for the anti-vax movement while refusing to publicly adopt an antivax stance because it would be credibility suicide. again, despite scientific research showing, for decades of studies now, that there is no correlation between vaccines and autism.
one of their executives actually resigned over this, because they were putting so much of their money towards investigating a supposed autism-vaccine link that has been investigated EXTENSIVELY for decades, never finding any evidence - rather than, you know, productive research that actually benefits autistic people. for the record, thiomersal, the vaccine preservative that antivaxxers believe causes autism, was phased out of vaccines by the CDC in 1999. it's no longer in vaccines, and autism diagnoses have only continued to increase, hugely, after its removal.
this autism-vax theory has been called "one of the most damaging medical hoaxes of the 21st century", not just because it has diverted so many resources away from productive autism research, but because it's caused parents to push damaging quack "treatments" on their kids, like chelation therapy, where practitioners have been found faking heavy-metal poisoning diagnoses to trick parents into accepting the procedure on their kids. Autism Speaks has used their institutional credibility and visibility to directly push autism fearmongering and conspiracy theories, to the detriment of many autistic kids, who i might add, have no medical autonomy or ability to advocate for themselves, because they are autistic kids.
I was diagnosed on the 6th of November last year, less then 2 months ago, i got my assessment via my mums doctor who passed from dementia at home, I was her principle carer, for 4 years, one day her doctor came to visit towards the end, took one look at me and offered me support there and then and i was under the mental health nurse, I decided to go for an autism assessment knowing i probably had it and partly at the pushing of my sis in law who is a teacher of autistic children among others, know you know Sab why I come over as being on 'the wrong planet', thanks for doing this by the way, its very informative, and what you say in my experience is true.
Love your wit! "I'm just rude, or German - but then I repeat myself." Thanks for covering this. My son was diagnosed with ASD recently as a teen, and it seems to make sense given his symptoms. It has been interesting reading on the subject to try to understand more. There's so much diversity among those with ASD, it's difficult to impossible to generalize. But as a parent of a kid who, while able to do many things on his own ("high functioning"), it has been beyond painful to watch him struggle with the things others can do. My son's biggest struggle is reading - a task nearly everyone in society assumes everyone can do. One of the major challenges for him is that it's a hidden disorder. He looks like others, and so others tend to assume he is as able as them. So, to hear you mention that some are self-diagnosing as if it were a fashion label is beyond infuriating. Again, thanks for covering this.
I'm autistic (diagnosed as an adult), and I think the term "disorder" is perfectly applicable. Rather than interpreting it as "something wrong," I think of the term as simply meaning "out of the ordinary."
Regardless, my condition (well, conditions - I'm also trying to get a diagnosis and hopefully medication for ADHD) has made my life insanely difficult. Despite some "experts" pretending to try to diagnose it when I was a kid in the 90s, they never actually gave me a proper diagnosis, and I never received the support I desparately needed. Now I'm 36, still living with family, on benefits, struggling constantly with severe anxiety and depression, and _still_ unable to find mental health support beyond generic, one-size-fits-all treatments like CBT. I feel like I've just been left to rot.
I was diagnosed as an adult. It's been a wonderful revelation that has improved my life considerably. Knowing what my challenges are lets me properly handle them. Of course, I had to handle my challenges before, but I was trying to handle them like a normal person does, and that is NOT the way I needed to handle things. Now I can tell when I'm doing too much, and can stop before I have a meltdown and collapse into a tearful puddle (Which looks really weird when you're 5'10" 280lbs, in your 30's, and can't bring yourself to go play D&D with your friends tonight because you had to talk to 4 or 5 people on the phone today) It's been a revelation to my friends and family too. It's given them a lot of tools to help support me. In retrospect, it was actually very obvious, and my parents were quite upset they didn't realize it sooner. I'm glad that it's becoming well known and understood. My symptoms are, on the whole, mild, and I mask well. I had been simply written off as 'he's a little odd but I don't know if I'd say there was anything wrong with him'. I would certainly not be doing as well as I am today if I had never been told about it.
Can you provide more examples of how being diagnosed made you start handling stuff better?
@@unotwotriquatre
Not the same person, but as someone who was first diagnosed at 38, I chose to answer anyway. I think a major reason why it feels like that is because we understand ourselves much better. Why we react or do the stuff we do. For me, my diagnosis was the answer to my questions about myself.
@@Elora445 Many thanks for your answer :) have you tried psychoanalysis before seeking a diagnosis? That's the kind of therapy which usually helps you understand the why's of your behavior and feelings. For example, I think you wouldn't need a diagnosis to identify that you feel bad at places with loud music because you're more sensitive to this stimulus.
@@unotwotriquatre
Things like that is quite obvious, yes. I used to say I was born with all my nerves on the outside instead. So yeah, kind of sensitive. It's more minor stuff. For example, I have always had a poor sense of location but never known why (no, I can not learn it as many others can - Google Maps is a savior), but apparently that is very common among those of us that are autistic. Not all autistic people and all that. So researching everything about autism, I found so many answers to questions about myself. Also started to forgive myself much more (hope that makes sense in English). Instead of beating myself down every time I'm "odd".
@@Elora445 I didn't know that a poor sense of location was also a sympton, I also have that lol (among many other symptoms; I'm seeing a psychoanalist who's conducting some tests and therapy, I'm 25).
But like, what exactly did you do with the diagnosis? Did you just start to adopt a mindset of "I'm like that because I'm autistic, that's just the way I am" or did it also change your behavior somehow?
The best researched and least biased video on the subject that I've ever seen. Thank you for sharing
Hey, awesome video! Just wanted to point something out. Autism Speaks isn't only controversial for what you said, they also have done adds such as "I am autism" in which the narrator (the "voice of autism") threats families with divorce and unhappiness. Yup. The management of the fundraising money has also been frequently questioned, among other stuff. Please be careful with Autism Speaks!
You also shouldn't forget about their past partnership with the Judge Rotenberg Center.
@@the11382 Holy hell, seriously?
The Judge Rotenberg Center was condemned by the United Nations Specual Rapporteur for Torture. It has endured against bipartisan political support due to big monetary interests. Matthew Israel founded it with inspiration from a fictional utopia that he read about at university. He tried utilizing his methods with children, but found he didn't have enough control because their parents were too concerned for their well-beings. So, he moved on to autistic people - specifically and primarily, people of color from New York City who happen to be autistic.
At the Judge Rotenberg Center, employees strapped an autistic child to a four-point board and administred torture via electric shocks. The boy had burn marks because he was shocked so much. The punishment was because he didn't remove his jacket in a manner that the employees deemed timely. People have gotten away with torture of autistic children in Massachusetts, USA.
Autism Speaks advocates for "curing" autism; Autism is a neural condition that literally cannot be cured. It seems like their interest is curing the world of autism, which is why them funding a project seeking to genetically map autism was so controversial.
Also yeah it's been found that the vast, vast majority of their funding goes into horrific advertisements that frame autism as something that ruins your children and their lives and will ruin everything.
Divorce and depression are at higher rates among autistics.
@non-adjective I think you're suffering from social psychology's fundamental attribution error. It's laughable to accuse Sabine of being afraid of peer review. Most channels just use pre-made filter lists that are available on the Internet. Most channels would have a terrible comment section if they didn't. If you do know for sure that certain phrases are being blocked that shouldn't, just write around them 🤷
As a female young adult who have spectrum itself, this video was very educative and relatable for me. I'm accepted what I'm am. Sometimes, I'm was lonely and sad because my classmates are enjoying their high school life and mine wasn't. I'm felt I'm a different than others. Scolded by the High School teacher was my biggest weakness. When my teacher was scolded, the anger was uncontrolled and I'm throwing my notebook and luckily, it's not directly hit by them. When they said "Get Out!!!!!" I'm was sent to the guidance room. Because of this, I'm trying to "end my life" because I'm not belong them. However, my mom tells me that don't try. Yet, I'm a individual with full of dreams, but depressing experience.
One of my high school teachers yelled at me and told me I'd never amount to anything. Jr. High and High School sucked so bad. I deal with depression and anxiety almost on a daily basis but it's getting better. I'm in therapy now and can say it's helped. Maybe not a lot but enough for me to keep doing it. Every little bit helps. Don't give up and don't worry about "belonging" to a group of people who don't want to understand. There are many people out there that will like you for who you are. Just DON'T GIVE UP! Us who understand love you.
The school years are the most difficult years in life because teachers have authority and young people have to try to adjust to this confusing world. The rest of life after school will be much better, just hang in there and slide through it. You will forget all about your teacher and any situations you're in right now and they will seem like a distant nightmare of the past.
Everything else in life is easier than school because everything else is optional - you can choose to study and do something that you like (or at least don't hate), mostly choose people with whom you spend majority of your time etc. You will be able to make your own decisions.
I was very depressed as a bullied child and teenager who was always excluded and weird, but I have been becoming a bit happier with every year as an adult and I'm very happy with my life now at 33. Hang in there, it's worth it ❤
There was a time where peolle would hide having "issues" such as autism or ADHD, not even so long ago, even for example 20 years ago high school kids would have ASD and yet be COMPLETELY normal, indistinguishable from any other person to an amazing degree. This is because before social media crybabies, peolle were mean and you had to be "tough" to survive and or thrive. So you had many peolle wkth "issues" that either never even knew they had it or managed very well in coping with it and even thriving because they knew it was either that or everyone would think they're weird or laugh at them. Unfortunately these days, everyone's a crybaby and nearly EVERYONE wants to tell everyone how they have this or that and expect everyone to say "omg I'm so sorry, I'll be so much nicer to you now. Wanna be friends. Let's give you money and attention". I'm not saying that some peolle with ASD or other "issues" back then didn't go home and feel pretty bad having to live a "double life", but on the other hand many people gained strength and true confidence from having to thrive in HARSSH and tough conditions and reality. Today, people will cry or end themselves if the pressure gets too tough or one mean "bully" makes a joke. 20-30 years ago bullies made people tough. Today. Bullies no longer exist or have been pressured by the crybabies to vanish. Oh how social media has changed the younger gen. Gen z is the weakest, saddest, most insecure, most desperate,.most gullible, and most pathetic generation of ALL time. Idk how gen z will survive without their parents. Remember the "idiot movie" where the guy goes to the future and realizes he's the smartest person because everyone else is extremely stupid. That's the direction we seem to be heading. If you don't have to push yourself to gain knowledge or be tough or learn how to fit in with "bullies" or people who can easily push you around or make fun of you, your how will you thrive? Expecting and forcing everyone through guilt tripping them online behind a screen to be nice or be canceled is beyond pathetic. But that's just me. Anyone who went to hs even 20 years ago and especially 30-40 years ago will sigh at today's kids
@@revolruf There was a time where peolle would hide having "issues" such as autism or ADHD, not even so long ago, even for example 20 years ago high school kids would have ASD and yet be COMPLETELY normal, indistinguishable from any other person to an amazing degree. This is because before social media crybabies, peolle were mean and you had to be "tough" to survive and or thrive. So you had many peolle wkth "issues" that either never even knew they had it or managed very well in coping with it and even thriving because they knew it was either that or everyone would think they're weird or laugh at them. Unfortunately these days, everyone's a crybaby and nearly EVERYONE wants to tell everyone how they have this or that and expect everyone to say "omg I'm so sorry, I'll be so much nicer to you now. Wanna be friends. Let's give you money and attention". I'm not saying that some peolle with ASD or other "issues" back then didn't go home and feel pretty bad having to live a "double life", but on the other hand many people gained strength and true confidence from having to thrive in HARSSH and tough conditions and reality. Today, people will cry or end themselves if the pressure gets too tough or one mean "bully" makes a joke. 20-30 years ago bullies made people tough. Today. Bullies no longer exist or have been pressured by the crybabies to vanish. Oh how social media has changed the younger gen. Gen z is the weakest, saddest, most insecure, most desperate,.most gullible, and most pathetic generation of ALL time. Idk how gen z will survive without their parents. Remember the "idiot movie" where the guy goes to the future and realizes he's the smartest person because everyone else is extremely stupid. That's the direction we seem to be heading. If you don't have to push yourself to gain knowledge or be tough or learn how to fit in with "bullies" or people who can easily push you around or make fun of you, your how will you thrive? Expecting and forcing everyone through guilt tripping them online behind a screen to be nice or be canceled is beyond pathetic. But that's just me. Anyone who went to hs even 20 years ago and especially 30-40 years ago will sigh at today's kids
BTW I took a basic autism test online and it said I'm not autistic, but maybe very slight autism. Took the RAADS test meant for those who can avoid detection, got a 94 out of 240 which means strong autism indicator (though it also says people without autism may score this high also). Idk what counts as autism. If I have some traits that autistic people have, I'm not certain that makes me autistic because otherwise many people would be. I'm not anxious in public or public speaking and can make friends or relationships easily, but I also enjoy spending as much time alone as possible and am very picky and choosy who I want to have relationships or friendships with. These tests are flawed for people who aren't one dimensional. It assumes everyone is either one way or another way. Makes sense since most people grew up and went into psychology being exactly one way with no deviation and assume "normal" people are also all one dimensionsal
I was diagnosed at 49. This was a transformative moment for me and was very liberating since it explained many difficulties I had experienced in life and which I had considered being my fault for « being weird ». I strongly recommend that those who think they may be on the spectrum get diagnosed.
Congratulations on getting a diagnosis!
I'm in the process at age 42, but main difficulty is no adult diagnosticians in my area. My GP, OT, Psychiatrist and Psychologist all think I'm most likely autistic, but unfortunately they can't diagnose and there are limited adult diagnosticians in my State at all.
It will take a few trips to see a someone (10hr return trip by car, or 13hrs on bus) so that adds to the stress and expense of getting formally diagnosed.
The travel and accommodation (including a support worker, staying overnight or longer) doesn't work out very cheap, and assessment and consult is expensive.
I'm diagnosed with "Atypical ADHD." When I went for my diagnosis at 31yrs autism and ADHD were mutually exclusive diagnostically. My psychiatrist believed he had some patients with both, "ADHD with additional symptoms outside the diagnostic criteria" which he suspected was co-occuring ASD so had added the Atypical.
Yeah sure.... 😂. It is a new trend to have asd now. Ridiculous😂
So, what's actually changed? I'd prefer living my life without an official “pariah”-like label.
@@boredscientist5756 😂go get a test😂😂
@@nowornever07 oh so Asperger's just appeared ? 😂😂😂🤡🤡 This is just bullshit, a bit like the hyperactivity for kids 😂
I knew someone who for a while thought she was autistic and had ADHD and decided to correlate every non "neurotypical" thing to her self diagnosis. She really romanticized the hell out of it and was basically on par with the astrology people who use their sign as a way to dodge accountability. That was until she paid a fuckton of money for a professional ASD test and they told her "you don't have autism". Suddenly, like day and night, she stopped all that nonsense and did not use "I'm autistic" as an excuse anymore. In reality, she was just sheltered most of her life with only a limited viewpoint on society.
Of course this is not to invalidate those who are actually diagnosed, but we truly live in a society...one that lets people pretend that being depressed, autistic, obese, have ADHD, OCD, Tourette's (yall remember ticsandroses?), etc... is something to be envied. It should be acknowledged but not idolized for sympathy and clout.
To be fair adhd and asd in women has like 60 - 80 percent overlap. She's not that far off. And the provider could have been wrong. This happens a lot when women with level 1 asd get evaluated. Just saying.
My son has Aspergers, he was diagnosed almost a year ago, at the age of 11. He has a "high functioning" form (high IQ, excellent marks in school, no speech problems whatsoever), but he always had his "quirks" (i.e. peculiarities with food, problems with sleep, general sensitivity + obsession with weather/cosmology/physics -- we watch this channel together :-). We lived in Kyiv, Ukraine - so when the war started, it has affected him greatly, he went into complete meltdown and shutdown. We turned to psychologists/ psychiatrists for help for what we thought was PTSD/depression, but it turned out that on top of that, he had an ASD as a "base". I was crushed with this diagnosis at first, but later I accepted it, and it even made easier for me to accept and deal with his "peculiarities". He is absolutely unique, I would not change a thing about him, I love him so much.
Slava Ukraini! So sorry your family experienced that trauma. When my son was diagnosed, it opened my eyes and I realized that I (computer programmer), my father (electrical engineer) and his father (engineer and avid coin collector) were also likely on the spectrum. If anything, I think that has helped my son, because I can say "you're like me" and he doesn't feel like he's doomed or a freak - he sees that I'm doing okay and a good person and knows he will be too.
@@kylefrandsen2665 Glory to the Heroes! Its great that you have (and you are) a positive role model for your son. We now think that my husband might be on a spectrum too, he is a creative director with his own quirks, so I always attributed those quirks to his profession and not to any medical condition - could be wrong). We also have 8 grand parents and great-grand parents as engineers, so that might be a sign as well))). Thank you for your supportive message, all the best to your son and to you!
@@kareoka77 Working in I.T. and growing up surrounded by people from JPL/Caltech, I think the quirks find the career - not the other way around 😁. I think it's one of the reasons I was never diagnosed. In that crowd I'm "normal".
It's mostly down to Big Pharma wanting to drug kids, and Big Psychiatry profiteering by continuously broadening the scope of an illness so more and more are diagnosed. This is combined with a polarised, schizoid world, with two awful Western ideological factions, Libs and Cons, who's deeply confused, fundamentally dissonant ideals are rammed down Kids brains... Social norms changing faster than you can change sex, which is now rather rapid, and also a neo norm for neo-people. Formal language and slang changing so quickly half the kids are better at communicating using emojis and adults don't understand what they're going on about.
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Autism is so liberally polluted as a diagnosis it now means a state of social and cognitive confusion, which the Neo World Order breeds faster than it can mass import foreigners from the 2nd and 3rd world. The fact they call it Classical Autism is a liberal joke. They know full well Autism is now a Cash Cow pushed by Big Pharma, Big Psychiatry and an owned MSM.
@@kylefrandsen2665 Exactly. My best programmer was on the spectrum - had severe difficulties reading non-verbal cues etc, but once she decided we were "all right" and that our jokes were not targeted at her, we functioned perfectly (until she found a job with conditions I could not match 😞). We are still in occasional contact.
So I was diagnosed with ASD when I was 12, and have had this diagnosis confirmed several times throughout my life. I also studied this for 4 years in college I think Sabine is right on the money, the changes in diagnosis with the DSM really have shifted what most people are diagnosed with when they get a diagnosis of "Autism". Current ASD covers both the classic depiction of Autism and several other cases, which can be confusing for people who still think ASD is only like what you see in something like Rain Man
Exactly. My autistic daughter would have been one of the 5 previous conditions that existed in the spectrum, multiple dev delays. She has a cousin who is truly autistic, ie, he would have had the diagnosis in prior times. I didn't like the rolling it all into one, as I think it isn't specific enough for those who need to accommodate it. That said, at least within our school system, the individual matters, not the diagnosis.
And whast the point of this classification? You feel special and they get paid? I bet if i went id be diagnosed with something but ive just accepted i am who am and unless im having seriouse problems i dont see the point of all this , I already know im special and uqique, whats the ponit of paying a doctor to tell me?
@@mikejones-vd3fg Because an accurate diagnosis could give insight into things you can do differently that will help you in your daily life?
@mike jones special and unique don't get you assistance in learning how to navigate the world, accommodations at work that allow you to be employed, and an understanding of why you're unique. No one needs to tell you if you're missing a leg, but it's sure nice to have a prosthesis.
And I have a diagnosis for you, but it'll get me banned :) Seriously, just because you're not able to understand something, doesn't mean it's wrong.
@@mikejones-vd3fg Therapy, individualized education programs, special needs, coping strategies, just to name a few things that have helped me. Knowing I am on the spectrum has enabled me to seek resources that are out there, resources that are the ONLY reason I can currently hold a job, go to school etc. Prior to my diagnosis I was suspended several times in Middle school because I just... didn't know how to function. I would get into fights, refuse to do work, had meltdowns, etc. It was very bad, my parents considered pulling me out of school and homeschooling me. Once I got my diagnosis, I was put on a path that helped me to figure myself out and become a functioning adult. I think it's really sad that you don't see how getting medical help can be literally life changing for some people just because you've decided that it won't work for you. Nonetheless, I genuinely hope you are right, and that you've got it all figured out and don't need a doctor to help you.
Excellent video, I consider myself pretty well educated on asd, especially since a somewhat late diagnosis at 28 and I learned some valuable new things from watching this.
I do have one (I don’t want to say criticism) thing I would like to point out and emphasise, a lot of the issues surrounding Autism Speaks are based off of their discriminatory and demeaning attitudes towards the neurodiverse. They were criticised for not allowing any people with asd be a part of their board of directors or in advisory roles, and when this criticism reached them the response was that people with asd wouldn’t be able to fulfil the requirements and are also unable to fully manage their own finances so they wouldn’t be paid by autism speaks if they did hire any.
Further to this they have historically geared themselves towards implying asd is a burden for the parents and their support focuses more on giving the parents emotional support for dealing with an autistic child. Additionally they promote and suggest many interventions that require physical restraint or in some cases outright abuse of the person with asd. A notable example being the time they “advised” Sia to include a restraint scene where the autistic character is pinned to the ground by their caregiver, an intervention which has lead to the death of autistic people in the past.
There is a very valid animosity towards Autism Speaks and it goes a lot further than just people with autism on twitter being militant.
It was the only part of the video where my heart sank a little, because the information and critiques are well founded and easy to find online.
I think your video was fantastic aside from this and really beautifully balanced in a way that you’re always so good at! With that being said… I think you are probably autistic 🫣❤
Fantastic criticism. This is not some illegitimate hate mob of minor upstarts on twitter.
This video is really well put together and throughly brought out. Thank you Sabine.
As a mom of a teen diagnosed with (mild) ASD and also an expat from ‘developing country’ to a ‘developed’ one this is my take on some of the points raised:
1. Increased diagnosis rates in developed countries are linked to the way health care system is organized. One needs to be diagnosed to receive a referral and insurance/government coverage of the costs of treatments/therapies. In developing countries diagnosis by itself does not give access to such programs so often kids with ‘mild symptoms’ go to speech and behavior therapies without being diagnosed. This also elevates the need to be confronted with the stigma of diagnosis for all the participants which sadly enough reinforces the stigma.
2. Developed countries tend to be more urbanized with higher intensity of social interactions in kids life. Those kids who are ‘a bit odd’ when in small primary school of a small community tend to be accepted just the way they are. This is often facilitated by close ties of their families with the community. If no switch is needed btw primary/secondary/high school due to different structures in education system the acceptance stays with the kid as it ages and no need to ‘fit in’ yet another group highlights their ‘divergence’. Such set up limits the ‘need’ to be diagnosed.
3. The ‘mild’ autism now tends to become a bit of a ‘dump’ for ‘a bit odd’ kiddo’s of the past because in the past life points 1. and 2. were true for all the societies. By the end of the day however even now if asd manifestation is relatively mild the most all ‘interventions’ can yield is to teach one to organize his/her life in the most comfortable and suitable way for his/her needs and to accept differences between people. Nothing much different to what a good parent advises/does for it’s kid anyway.
Personally I think it's more to do with society than individuals. A lot of the "help" that's offered, is help to function within a society that does not work for them, it's trying to teach them how to conform to make it easier to integrate them into a system that has no place for them. In order to help other people and society deal with them, more than to help them have better lives. It's sort of like trying to train a fish to live on land because the land creatures don't want to get wet. In a smaller group and more close knit society like you're talking about, where individuals have more value and are often accepted and integrated into the whole despite relatively minor differences, this would not be necessary. A smaller society is more flexible and an individual in a smaller society has much more power to adapt that society to their own needs instead of the other way around. People that are different are only considered to be "a problem" and in need of "treatment" if they disrupt established society in some way, a smaller and therefor less rigid society, could adapt to new elements without being significantly disrupted, which would be better both for the society and the individual considered to be different. America in particular is an extremely capitalist society and culture, all forms of achievement is measured in money, fame, status, etc, and this definition of success is what their cultural identity equates to a happy life. An autistic person is unlikely to do well in this framework, but the "normal" person will try to force them to fit into this framework to give them the "successful" and "happy life" and think they're doing a good thing. And this in turn will make the autistic person feel like a failure, or like they simply don't understand world around them at all. So it's the society and culture that decides that they're "wrong", if society didn't do this then many could function just fine and there would be no need for a diagnosis or to provide them with "help". To say "I don't care about your definition of success and I'm perfectly happy without it" is almost incomprehensible to many Americans. And that's the problem with society, "normal" just means who conforms the most to a society, and anything that deviates too much is considered a threat, something to be fixed or eliminated. But even societies diverge from each other, what is normal in one would not necessarily be normal in another. So even the framework for how these things are "diagnosed" isn't consistent across the board. And people will often diverge more radially the more constrained their society becomes, as sort of social counter measure to extremism and the stagnation which comes with excessive conformity. Which ultimately leads to civil unrest, protests, reform, or even civil war, etc. So many so called "diagnosis" is a direct response to a sick society and actually more of a social immune system response than a psychological disorder.
"mild"autism. In other words he just doesn't really get in the way of others. Yet, when he finds his voice and suddenly does start to go against the grain I wonder if you'd update his autism to "severe"
I was diagnosed sometime between 03-05, and they used the term Asperger's syndrome for me. I don't know the time table for when Asperger's fell out of use in terms of the psychology experts, but I know for a fact that it's still a commonly used term among the social circles of everyday people. That's probably why elon and others used the term and continue to these days.
Yes, I'd rather call myself "a bit aspy" than say "autism" - I had a girlfriend whose son is severely autistic and developmentally retarded; there's no comparison with me, or with anyone able to post comments here. I think most people understand Asperger's as a concept better than ASD.
It fell out of favor because of its nazi history ties
I dunno, my girlfriend is currently seeing a psychiatrist. And she is using the word Asperger, so it's still being used by professionals as well.
@@sanderhansen7036 This is rather strange to me, because in my social circles, just about everyone knows that Asperger's syndrome is an old term - it may help that many of my friends are still 19-20 and thus have no memory of the times when Asperger's was a common term.
Some just like to keep the distinction between the two, both people with ASD and professionals.
Personally I do find it odd, and more than a bit ironic, that a condition characterised by tendencies to over systematise and categorise is one which ends up being changed to be *less* distinct instead of more.
Doubly so when you consider that people that would otherwise have been diagnosed not with autism but PDD-NOS instead are also now classed as Autistic, so not only were the existing boundaries removed they were expanded.
Yes there are now 'levels' of Autism, but it's just not the same. Especially considering that 'Level 1' Autism lumps together both people that pass as normal, albeit a bit quirky and eccentric but are probably the ones that stay quiet, or put on a mask, because they still have enough social awareness to know to keep those thoughts to themselves; and the ones that lack any form of social awareness and so end up being more than a bit inappropriate and unable to tell when they're annoying the people around them.
So to me it would make sense to keep a distinction between Aspergers and High Functioning Autism.
My son was diagnosed at 6. He had delayed speech and digestion problems. Now he is 13 and like a typical 13 year old never stops talking! He was bullied in 1st grade because he was still in diapers. We had to take him out of public school because of this. It took two years to find a school that would accept him! The prejudice against autistic kids is a big problem and kids that are different in general. I was different also and bullied in elementary school. My father also.
what did u use to heal him?
I am pretty sure that they did not "heal" him. He simply developed this way... @@davienihill8311
@@davienihill8311 It´s not healing, it is developing or improving.
I mean yeah kids bully each other. We did it, it was done to me. It sucks.
@@Skozerny Yes it sucks and can cause permanent psychological damage. My son was bullied by a teacher! It doesn't have to be tolerated just because it was in the past! Now kids cyberbully which is just as bad. Yes, even I used to tease younger kids but not bully them. Bullying is mean and cruel and meant to harm that is why it is wrong and bad.
this is the best summarization I’ve heard in its entirety for covering the overall points. well done.
Yes!
I was diagnosed with autism at 20, and ADHD at 23. Unfortunately late diagnosis really messed up my life. No one took my issues seriously and assumed I was being lazy, I have C-PTSD from my upbringing and am still reparenting myself now at 25 to be more compassionate to msyelf and respect my additional needs
I hear that. I was 28 when I found out. It's rough, but I also know it might have been worse if I'd found out younger as a lot of the treatments for autism when I was a kid were less than compassionate. I've heard plenty of horror stories about ABA from people who were diagnosed as kids.
Same. ADHD at 23, autism at 34. C-PTSD from the whole life of being unsupported.
Likewise. I was diagnosed with autism at 22, as well as generalized and social anxiety disorder with OCD and PTSD. Therapy wasn't helping, I don't have any friends, not even online. Abused by both parents. All I want is to have a friend, someone that understands. :(
Shit. I thought I was alone... this is me at 30
Wah😢
I was diagnosed 7 years ago as an adult. I was told that under the new guidelines I have ASD (Autism spectrum disorder) but that under the old guidelines, I would have been considered to have Asperger's, confirming what you said. The specialist who diagnosed me then told me that in about 20 years, there will be no such thing as autism at all because everyone will just be considered "individuals and different". That sounded rather stupid to me as a lot of people with autism need extra help with certain things. I could have definitely done with more support when I was younger, I can tell you. So I'm not sure what to believe anymore. I feel that yet again, politics has crept into healthcare and does not favours to anyone in the process.
I first read this as “I was diagnosed with adulthood.” And it made me laugh 😅
Agree. I was diagnosed in adulthood after having some problems. I found the online social justice aspect to autism to be unhelpful and toxic. These people will say I have internalized ableism lol They are not about diversity as they claim to be. You follow their script or they will silence you
I believe wholeheartedly with your final statement! Government cannot fix roads. They’re destroying healthcare and education.
I looked up the "symptoms" of Asperger's, and discovered I have most of them. One "symptom" is "restricted and repetitive interests." Well, so what? I consider it a virtue! After all, if I want to accomplish anything (such as writing a book), I would have to do the same thing, day after day, until the book is finished. Only a fool would say that's bad.
@@davidlafleche1142 These symptoms are interconnected. "restricted and repetetive interests", yes, but if you'd rather pee yourself than stopping to engage in said interests, chance is higher that it actually is autism. It's complicated to diagnose other than just tick a number of boxes in a questionnaire and add the positives to get the result. Also, for me, a major difference is that even after i got professionally diagnosed, i refused to believe that i'm autistic and fact checked for over a year until i finally acknowlegded that i'm ASD. Then there are the people that hear from ASD in a couple of youtube videos, then go out and tell everyone: "hey, did you know i'm autistic?", which to me seems more like attention seeking. Short version: If you want to know, get diagnosed by a professional.
I naturally grasp the intentions of people through their tone, pitch, gestures, standing pose, manners and clothes. I quite study them and I'm never wrong. Empathy is a whole another topic. And just realized how much it is difficult for me to keep eye contact: I'm at a shop dealing with customers. I always feel I'm acting my mood.
I feel like this is the most concise explanation of ASD I've ever heard. I've long suspected that I may have that but it's such an umbrella term that it looks differently for everyone. It certainly wasn't what people were screening children for when I was a kid in the early to mid nineties. I've always had issues with eye contact, random obsessions, inability to interpret facial expressions and definitely masking. Anyway thanks for your videos! I've been watching you for about a year now whenever I wanna get my physics kick lo.