My Family Wants “Their” Money I Inherited
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Money will always bring out someone’s true character.
Precisely …
I learned this from experience. Twice.
Really sad and scary when it’s your own family or spouse
One hundred percent because people are Greedy and money is the root of all evil
I have a family member who is a living example of this!
@@littleone7404 Love of money is the root of all evil
@@littleone7404 Actually it's "the love of money is the root of all evil". Money itself is just a tool. It's the greed that brings out the evil.
Give the children their parents’ money. What they do with it is up to them. They have lost both parents the last thing they need is to battle with their aunt.
@lifesabeach746
Says who, you? It wasn’t YOUR money, and the people whose money is was said the OPPOSITE of what you’re demanding. Who the hell are you to demand that? That’s obscene and laughable.
@@TheSecondWitnesssays the person who was left the money. She said she thinks it’s an oversight because the children were minors when they got the policy. Your take is what’s obscene and laughable.
Lost both parents as minors and the Aunt wants to keep the insurance money, what kind of human being is that?
I was willed all my aunt owned. I called her kids to come get the gold and diamond rings, the boat, guns, nick nacks then i sold the house and shared it with them. I had sold or given all my stuff away when she called and said she was lonely. Would i come stay with her. She only lived 3 months before getting a bad case of pneumonia and I had pneumonia also but didn’t have to be hospitalized. She never came out. The cousins were in shock after the funeral but knew all I’d given up to come care for her in her one bedroom little house.
@@alicemattsen2208 exactly this. These people have no idea what has been happening in the lives of this person who wrote the letter and her family's.
Give the kids the money. The parents forgot to update the beneficiaries which could happen during a grieving period (his wife died). That said, check to make sure there are no tax implications for you and your son before giving it to them. If there are, you need to withhold that amount prior to dispensing it.
doesn't make sense why the guy didn't set up a trust for his kids makes no sense even while his wife was living ... it is his fault ... is SIL his mistress and the nephew in law his son ???? why on 🌎 would he have set his policy this way
@@KS-cl8brI won't pretend to know everything for certain. But I can only judge/assume the following from the info the sister-in-law/letter writer provided:
1. The policy was obtained when her deceased brother-in-law's children were minors. So this was probably years or decades ago.
2. The sister-in-law herself states that she believes that she and her son were made beneficiaries specifically because the children were minors. This makes sense and indicates that deep down she has strong doubts that the money is really meant for her.
3. Since her sister (the children's mother) who would have been the primary beneficiary is deceased, it is logical to assume that her brother-in-law may have put his sister-in-law and her son as secondary beneficiaries back then. Just in case BOTH the brother-in-law and his wife were to pass away, he assumed the sister-in-law and her older son would be responsible enough to use the money to help raise his children.
The summary of my position is this. There is no legal requirement to give the children the money in this case. But there is a strong moral argument to do so in the spirit of good family relations. This is different from if the sister-in-law was given the money in a will. If that was the case, there would be no argument whatsoever to give the children a dime, as the deceased intentions would have been crystal clear!
You don’t know the parents forgot to update the policy. Your assuming. And you can’t just give them the money. There’s tax consequences. It would be considered a gift.
@@ericeandco all one can do is assume as the person is deceased. Read note regarding withholding taxes
@@KS-cl8br I agree they should have used a trust.
I'd put my money on there being a combination of ignorance (not knowing how to do it or wanting to learn), pushing it off until later (procrastinating it because 'there will be time later'), and not wanting to pay the cost to set up a trust.
Some people (myself included) know they need to set up a trust and have not made the time for it yet. In that case they often will list family members as beneficiaries so they can act as a sort of informal executor until they get around to forming the trust.
It's unfortunate the deceased parents apparently didn't communicate at all with OP what their wishes were. That would have helped a lot.
Excellent reminder to all of us. What we planned when our children were young probably no longer applies.
Divorce and re-marriage is another case where updating beneficiaries is important. A friend and her hubby were married for 10 years before either one of them thought to check that out on his work-sponsored life insurance - the ex was still the beneficiary.
Our mother passed in 2022, found out her husband took her to his nephew, a financial advisor, and betrayed her. In her mind us kids would get the money in her investments. He also told us he wanted to buy her house, but bought a different house, didn't tell us, and stripped her house of everything valuable in secret. He then continued to go back to mom's house and steal more stuff. Mom had a will too, the first item was that she wasn't leaving him anything. He stoled her jewelry too. Jerk stood in front of us kids saying he didn't want anything from Mom's estate, not one penny was his words. He had already laid his plans, his daughter wore Mom's emerald earrings and ring to moms funeral knowing full well Mom wanted her jewlery to go to my niece. What a POS
Yeah...I always figure that if someone remarries, the kids gotta just waive bye bye to any expectation of an inheritance. There are so many stories of the 1st family getting screwed over.
If she had a will get the stuff back in court. Pay to publish the story in news articles and on online blogs. Law and shame are powerful tools.
@@divekatdreaming No people get screwed over because we act like children when it comes to money as a
society. It's your responsibility to go talk to Mom or Dad and find out what you will inherit then act like an adult spend the money and get the inheritance put in trust just like rich people do. That way you WILL INDEED get the money when the parent dies.
You go get a cheap or free lawyer and get it done. Long before ANY illness pops up.
Make them put in it writing what you the child will get and what the new spouse will get and make sure it's separate!!!
I have found that most of the time kids get screwed by step
parents cause you kids insist on treating them like shit then they get you back when your parent dies. Kissing a little bit of ass goes a long way to making things easier on yourself in the stressful even if losing a parent. You never see this stuff happen when the kids decide to be friends with or even just tolerate the step-parent.
@@DiligoBarba Definitely. There wouldn't be an issue if people used trusts.
@@DiligoBarba I look at it differently. Inheritance is 100% the parents' responsibility. Sure, the kids should have open and productive conversations with their parents, but at the end of the day it is on the parents to actually fulfill their responsibilities.
That includes using wills and trusts.
I think we agree on the solution, more or less, but not on where the 'blame' lies.
The insurance company was not supposed to tell them who the beneficiaries are. As someone who works with estates we can only give people information they are supposed to know. Go back to the company and file a formal complaint. I would be curious to know how long ago they listed you as the beneficiary you can find that out with the insurance company.
Exactly. The kids would not of received that info.
Might have been mentioned in the will.
"Oh and by the way kids we took out an insurance policy out check with [insert name here] for more details!"
It’s family so they might have heard it through other relatives or the beneficiaries themselves.
Might be some paperwork laying around
It literally says in the first 25 seconds of the video when they met with the insurance company they found out who the named beneficiaries are.
I am so glad my work makes me reset my beneficiaries every single year.
Be the better person. If they are responsible kids, give them the money. Dave is right here.
No, Dave is completely wrong here. The kids got other assets but not the insurance policy. You don’t know what the intentions were. Also you can’t just sign over the money without tax implications.
I think he could be wrong though on the legal aspect. From her comment it sounds very much as though that policy money was NEVER meant for her. And I think they could prove that in court even if she wasn't already admitting it. I mean, they got the policy while the kids were minors and named the person who would be the obvious guardian of those kids if the parents died. That seems pretty straight forward to me unless she has evidence showing the intent changed.
Dave is 100% wrong.
Ahh the greed kicks in. She said I think its an oversight, should I give it back. WTF? You just answered your damn question.
Right the answer is NO. It’s not an oversight. The kids got other assets including an IRA. Also you can’t just give it back. The assets must be distributed to the beneficiaries. That’s this man and his son. If he gives anyone the money it’s now a gift subject to gift tax. He would be reducing his lifetime unified gift tax credit which effects the taxability of his own estate.
Don't think she was actually asking "should I", she was actually asking "do I legally have to?"
I disowned most of my relatives due to the numerous times they stole money from my grandmother, yet if I got a million tomarrow my dirtbag aunt and her kids would expect me to divide it with them.
I could be completely wrong, but I think they were left the money to take care of the children while they were children. Then, as they became adults the policy just never got changed for whatever reason this is just my opinion I think the kids should now get the money I don’t care what their financial situation is. I don’t care if they would blow every penny of it, in my opinion it should be their money
My thoughts too. As an aunt, i can only guide/remind them but i wouldn't take their parents money.
Why would her son be on the policy as well in that case?
Policy must have been drawn up by an idiot. All of these policies should be future proofed so that if the kids are adults when the parents die they are automatically the beneficiaries.
@@nikfish1exactly
@@Weakeyedominantwell not if for some reason they wanted exactly what they indicated on the paperwork...that she and her son inherit the benefits from the life insurance. It's not like the kids were not named to get everything else...there was other money and assets that they left to the children. If they wanted the kids to have all of it then why would they have left everything else to the kids except for this?
A long time employee (30+ years) suddenly and unexpectedly passed away. His widow contacted benefits concerning his life insurance benefit. The beneficiary was his old girlfriend from decades earlier. I don’t know how it eventually worked out, but the beneficiary designation is ironclad.
In South Africa if they were married in community of property the law overrides the beneficiary and even the will sometimes.
This happens a lot in the military, when young and dumb people get married and divorced like changing underwear. I have known of an ex wife from ages ago coming in and scooping up everything, leaving the wife and kids of 30 years penniless.
A wil is suerceded by banks beneficiary.
🤢
The will has. No control of life insurance. The life insurance will be given to the person on the policy.
Yes...they didn't say otherwise
Beneficiary trumps the Will.
Don't forget that, if it's legally YOUR money, usually life insurance isn't taxed, but GIFTS can be. And, as one poster pointed out, refusing the proceeds may trigger a contingent beneficiary issue. So, understand the issues before you act. If you want to GIVE the money, you may want to do it over several years to avoid gift taxes - something YOU pay. Also, don't too quickly determine you know someone else's intent. You right now are facing an unsolicited management issue. You may need the advice of a lawyer and maybe an accountant to get it right. The fact you're being pressured is the best reason in the world to move deliberately. And, since you may incur expense, and you didn't ask for this, it's fair for expenses to come out of the proceeds instead of your existing funds, regardless of what you decide.
Emailer didn't express any of this concern in the letter. Didn't even mention any wishes of the parents. I believe this person knows they inherited the money on accident and only wants to know, "Will I be an asshole if I kept this money for myself?"
Excellent advice
You can give 13 million with no taxes.
Giving it slowly over several years to avoid paying gift tax is considered structuring and is illegal. Will you get cought? Probably not if you do it right and under the table, but it is criminal never the less.
@@LegDayLas you have 13 million dollar lee way for no taxes on gifts.
I guarantee you she will keep it. She would have already given it to them if she felt the least bit uncomfortable about it. She’s looking for validation
Mind reader alert.
Her question was not actially ""should I", it's "do I legally have to?"
I used to work in life insurance claims. Can't tell you how many times people forgot to change their beneficiary when they remarried, etc.
That is exactly right. So often an ex-wife gets the life insurance money simply because her ex husband forgot to change the beneficiary.
The IRA goes to the ex-wife - HaHa
@@rolandhansen812I'm pretty sure the "ex" who receives the insurance money, was the one keeping up the payments for the insurance.
@@rolandhansen812 If she's the mother of his children, it probably wasn't an "oversight."
@@homesteadrevivalsSometimes it is an oversight. My uncle didn’t take his ex wife off of his life insurance policies for years after he remarried because he is lazy and absent minded.
Give the kids the money. It was intended for their upkeep while minors, so the intent was for the kids. It's amazing how inheritance all of a sudden changes people to ask "am I right to do . . . "
Well, if you have to ask that question, then you know the answer. Greed seems to take over "yeah, give it to the kids who lost their parents".
They're not minors any more and have no claim to the inheritance
@@Faesharlyn As was noted, legally you're right. Still doesn't mean that the right thing to do, is give it to the kids. Not everything has to be driven by the law or courts, or a document. If the person who called in, has to ask what the "right" thing to do is, they already know but are trying to find a reason to defend keeping it.
@dwaynemauk566 but we don't know what's happened between then and now, how much OP was involved with sister's family (for example, did they all live together and a family unit or pool their resources? )
I don't have enough information from the family to make the call, but my takeaway from the letter is that the "children" are adults who should bring on a mediator since they feel they have a valid claim.
Morally? Sure. With the information we have, split evenly among the kids seems fair unless their wills specifically exclude anyone but even if they do, what's the difference? It's just money at the end of the day.
@@Faesharlyn Agreed. "its just money at the end of the day" also applies to the adults.
My parents have sat me down and told me what me and my brother r getting when they pass. I told my parents to spend all their money have all the fun they can. They r in their 70s and worked so stinkin hard they need to have all the fun they still can. They don’t need to worry about me I can take care of myself as an adult. I appreciate them trying to help me out but I think that’s an old mentality. They have the responsibility to take care of me till I’m 18 and then be there for me afterwards but that’s all I need is their love.
Its not an old mentality. It's a mentality of desire to perpetuate generational wealth. Both your mentality and theirs are as old as time.
As much as that is admirable, being the benficiary of parents whp are organized and know what they are doing. Even if theres not a penny in cash left there might be properties, trust, stocks whatever.
@@jameskirkpatrick5569 Uh yeah, of course.
Sometimes, it gives parents more enjoyment when the next generation takes the gift. To see their kids and grandchildren enjoying it is the best enjoyment they can have.
I feel the same for my sons and daughter.
A godly man leave inheritance for his children’s children. To spend all your money unnecessarily is immoral. Look at when people were godly they saved and built. Now they run up the debt and go to Europe.
You just can’t “sign over” the money. If the aunt disclaims the policy, it goes to the contingent beneficiary if one exists. If no contingent, it goes into the estate and gets probated per the will. It probably would be better if the aunt takes the insurance payout and gifts it to nieces and nephews using annual gift exemptions or puts it into an irrevocable trust with the nieces and nephews as beneficiaries.
The beneficiary aunt does NOT control the payout if she disclaims.
Why can’t she accept the money as her own, then at some point give the money to the kids? Are you saying its not her money to do as she wishes after accepting it?
@@melli-yelli he's saying she can gift it to them but she would either have to give it in tax exempt increments yearly or put it in a trust for them. if she just writes them a check they willl be taxed to hell on it.
@@melli-yelli I mentioned that possibility and also to set up,a trust with it. It is her money, tax free. The problem is if her nieces and nephews don’t want her to have any control except to have the payout sent to them . That can’t happen unless they want to wait for probate.
@@melli-yellilol...thats exactly what the OP just said...that rather than say she doesn't want the money go ahead and take it and then turn around and gift it to the kids if that's what she wishes to do. Did you not read what they said?😊
@@PrimateProductions you’re right 😂 not sure why i misread
The answer was in her statement. He left them each a house, a car and an IRA. He planned for their shelter and their retirement. This was not a mistake.
But we don't know that. People can leave their kids all that AND life insurance. When the aunt herself thinks it was a mistake, that's pretty telling.
I own a property with my sister and share a bank account with her. I would never keep that money or her assets from her grown children or her young son.
I can think of some reasons why I would. Ask your sister now, does she think her children would benefit more from a lump sum of cash that they would use wisely or would they benefit more from you making those financial decisions on their behalf.
@cathy7824
That’s you. These other people obviously can make their own mind up and decided to give it to the people they chose. Its their money, not yours, and they can make their own decisions.
Yes, but if she dies her kids can demand you sell the property or pay them their share if her estate says her assets go to her kids.
@@suen5006 Possibly - joint bank accounts and jointly owned property generally go directly to the other owner listed on the deed/account and isn't part of the willed property. It often depends on the laws where they live.
Are you telling me that you believe your dearly departed sister and B.I.L didn't want their money to go to their kids. Your a mother as well what would you want if the shoe was on the other foot. These poor kids.😢
If that's what he wanted then why did he indicate that everything else, the other money, the house, the vehicles but yet not say this particular money should go to them as well? Why wouldn't he have just went ahead and left everything to them? Maybe he for some reason wished for her and her son to have that money. We don't know their lives or what all has occurred.
@iknow9894
Yeah, sure, these “poor kids” demanding that someone else’s money is theirs 😂
Maybe the brother just wanted to help his sister out for whatever reason. She did that he left it to and her son. We don't know how old her son is or if he has special needs. He probably thought his kids are grown up and don't need the money. He left them the savings and everything else.
@@PrimateProductionshe probably updated the will but forgot to update the life insurance policy.
Bottom line is the money belongs to this man and his son. He needs professional advice from an attorney and CPA before he transfers that money to anyone else anyway. Huge tax and possible legal implications.
My single godfather uncle died and left his money to me. I was 6. His brothers and sisters made such a stink that my dad divided the money and gave it to them. They rarely talked to us after that. I am sure because they were embarrassed and didn’t like seeing me.
What if the late sister was intending for the policy to bless her sister & the inheritance is as it was meant to be?
His letter said it was an over sight, so the kids was young, when it was taken out. The money was for the kids, so now they are adults the money should go to the kids hands.
No one has mentioned the ages of the "kids" who want the aunt and cousin to give them the money. Because the aunt and her son are the beneficiaries, I'd be more likely to think that they were made the beneficiaries on purpose. If it was just the aunt, I'd question if it was an oversight.
Shocking. In Norway You are guranteed a part of Your inheritance no matter what. However, Your relative is free to give anything and all away to whomever while they are alive.
As an estate planning attorney, I can tell you that Dave is 100% right. I end up generating more fees in remedial work than I do for preventive work. Keep up with your estate planning. Visit your attorney every 5 to 10 years at the very least.
"California Law is Granola based" - Dave Ramsey 😅
The letter writer knows this was an error. The deceased trusted her to help the bereaved children with the money when they were too young to handle it. So why would the deceased leave an insurance policy to the letter writer now that the children are older? Please do the honorable thing and give the children their money!
There us absolutely no way you could possibly know that. You don't know their lives or what circumstances were going on. If he left everything else, the other money, the house, the vehicles to the kids then maybe there was a reason he wished for his sister and nephew to have this money. We have no idea how much this money was, it might have only been $30,000 and maybe he wished for them to have it since the kids received everything else. There is just no way to know despite what you insist that _you know_ and that the _sister knows_
😏
I agree with you and the person replying is probably wrong.
@gunnerarshavin2009
Who are you to override the stated wishes of those people’s money? Love how you believe you know everything and can read minds. You have NO CLUE what they intended. We only know what was written.
@mogamethanu I am wrong that there is no way she could know that for sure? You disagree with my statement that we have no idea what their life was or how much money the life insurance payout was?
If that's what you think then you are also delusional!
Because we have no way if knowing any if these things we cannot possibly say that we know what this person's intentions were and that one scenario can be just as likely as any other...and that was my whole point. I swear people don't use their brains.
@@TheSecondWitness exactly this!!
Greed. Until you've experienced it, you'll never understand
Ask the insurance company when was the last time the policy beneficiary was updated. If it never was, I say give those kids THEIR money.
@anndeecosita3586
Funny how you’re dictating whose money it is, when YOU had nothing to do with this.
@@TheSecondWitness why are you being sarcastic? They offered a reasonable idea. If the insurance policy was modified after the kids became adults, it's clear the money was intended for the aunt. If it was never updated, it signals that it was for the kids. Why are you mad about a reasonable suggestion that provides clarity?
@CreamIceMs
Don’t be ridiculous. She put “THEIR money” in bold. Wow, glad the 2 of you can read minds, and know where other peoples money should go - even AFTER that person put in writing where their money was to go 😂
@@TheSecondWitnessStop being a clown. It’s a discussion people are having.
@tonycrabtree3416
You’re the clown, along with anyone who tries to dictate other peoples money. Imagine the absolute gall you have to have to tell someone their money needs to be given to someone else. “THEIR” money? Haha try again. That’s pathetic.
Mistake-Oversite - you guys are right. I'm going through paperwork getting set to retire. I just reviewed my insurance and found that the beneficiary was my husbands brother and wife. They were to be the guardians of our kids if both of us died. Don't think that applies any longer since the kids are 36 and 32 yo. Changed that right away. But would have been a weird situation since that was not my intent.
Dave is right, that is what rich people do, but they also have the money to pay someone to fully manage that estate planning and take care of everything but the discussion and the signature
Don't leave a chaotic disaster for family to sort out and fix because a will and estate plan is "too expensive". Make it a priority and then keep up with it through life's changes. This is everyone's personal responsibility.
I had a very close friend growing up who sadly passed away about ten years ago.
We were nearly inseparable growing up and were close with each other's families.
On her death a couple of years ago, his mother left his portion of the estate to me "in his honor." It wasn't giant, but neither family is particularly wealthy so it meant a bit more than might be expected.
His brother and sister were not happy. Demanded that I just give the whole thing to them.
The lesson here isn't the story. It's what Dave is talking about. It's not only necessary to have the paperwork but to make sure everyone understands what is coming.
I hope to everything holy you said “NO” and walked away.
Mee too!
The brother and sister are trash. They have more lust for their mother's money than they do respect for their mother's wishes.
Did you give it to them?
@@XsilifOf course not.
Their money? The mere fact that they think it's theirs is concerning. Do they need the money? Isn't the house car etc enough? Do you know it's an oversight? What did they tell you ?
Come on. Why would it be more likely to be for their aunt and cousin than for them? Especially if this dates back to them being minors. They're not entitled to anything, but this seems unlikely.
I say put it in a trust fund so they don't use it all up all in 6 months.
so spend $2k to babysit adults
I would follow the will as it is written. A lawyer should review it prior to any changes made as whatever is done will make some relative mad. I have seen a post distribution renegotiation of a will personally and it cost me in several ways - not worth what was left and lost.
Of course you would, but the parents clearly wanted to leave the money to the children
It’s theirs. At the end of the day, it IS theirs.
Yep
Legally its not so sit down and be wrong.
@MyAirMyles legally it belongs to the sister and the nephew. If you are arguing against that then it is YOU that is wrong.
Legally not. But from a moral perspective, if she believes it was in her name in case the kids were orphaned while minors (which she says she does) then keeping it would be wrong.
@Kivlor legally not what? _Legally_ it DOES belong to the sister and her son, the nephew. How can anyone attempt to argue against that when they are the ones listed as the beneficiaries on the policy?
I would ask the ‘when was the last beneficiary change’.
thats kinda the pain about estate planning and wills.
each and everything thing must be updated.... SEPERATELY
1) the succession of the home
2) the cars
3) high value items
4) seperate buckets of cash like
401k, IRAs, saving accounts, 529s and so on
5) the life insurance policy
6) and so on
each and every single account must be kept up to date.
I've heard its a major pain in the butt for remarried folks, cuz what you establish (say in your 20s and 30s) but forgot about in your 40s to 60s or death would ALL BE WILLED TO THE FIRST WIFE and I guess that lineage.
I'm not a lawyer so do your own reading and get professional advice on it. but I will say this. keep your docs up to date.
for me, I'm planning on updating that mess at age 45, cuz thats when I'd be within 30 years of a term life policy to actually be useful.
i mean, 45 plus 30 is 75, sooo i could be statically be dead by then.
any sooner and I'll just use the money to pay off debts more aggressively like loans, credit cards, auto financing or my mortgage. owning a home in full is a better will to my lineage than some cash (okay not really but its better for ME)
Good point.
Yep that might shed more light on it!😊
Estates are not always as cut and dry and they make it sound. My in-laws had their estate and everyone agreed which brother would be the executor. Parents both passed and the brother didn't do what he was supposed to do. Took forever for my husband to finally get his portion because the brother would not be transparent in what he was doing to get all the assets straightened out. My husband finally had to hire his own lawyer to communicate with the estate lawyer to get things moving. Unfortunately he and his brother and sister have not spoken in a couple of years and they are all in their 60's and 70's. The estate lawyer agreed things were not right but sure wasn't in a hurry to put a stop to it. The longer it drug on the more money she got!
Split the money….half for you/your son…half for the kids, but put them in a trust FOR THEM when they’re older
That is so true some families hate each other because of money, the first time i told my eldest sister no because i realized she was taking my kindness for granted , i am now living to regret it because she stopped talking to me, our mom intervene but she still hardly speak to me only if its absolutely necessary
yep, grandfather passed half a decade ago and my aunt and grandma took everything and moved 4 states away.
its sad what happens when money changes people but you cant let it control how you respond to selfish people
❤
Don’t regret it. If your sister stopped talking to you because you said no to giving money, she is in the wrong, not you. She is too entitled to think she had right to your money. I would say good riddance. Wait until you have a spouse and she would still continue to beg, and then it would’ve become a huge problem for you.
Sounds like your sister stopped talking to you because you stopped paying her to talk to you.
Don’t regret it.
You made the right choice.
@@tyronejackson832 it would appear so. I never thought of it like that , i was buying a relationship
Checking to see when the parents last changed their Wills might provide another clue. If the Wills were changed after the children were grown, then it's hard to believe it was an oversight, although that's still possible.
Thanks Uncle Dave for teaching us how to think about money and especially your horse sense!
My estate plan gets reviewed annually. I'm not sure if this is how all estate attorneys work, but whatever the case it would be easy enough to contact the estate attorney and ask when the last time it was updated. If it was just last year, then I'd leave the distribution alone. If it was 10 years ago, then it would be easier to see how it might be an oversight.
Not an oversight. can't believe the reinterpretation of someone's intentions. The children inherited many other assets.
In the absence of direct communication, you do what is best for others mentioned in the will. That is act as the executor.
The kids were small so the kids were known. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t outline in their will who takes care of the kids while administering the money left. Once the kids reach a certain age, usually specified in the will, the kids get the money and full control of it.
This is why you go to an attorney for your estate planning, not a computer program... And states generally have statutes that will honor wills executed in other states if they were done properly under the other state's laws. It's a good idea to update anyways, but it's not like there's nothing in place at all upon moving.
Such a ridiculous question. There was no world where they wanted to leave ZERO money to their kids and give it all to their brother and sister in law. What a terrible person. Give the kids their money you greedy greedy man
She said the kids will get IRA + House + Car. I guess this call is about other money outside of that. The money could be small or large compared with IRA + House + Car. The woman writing in sounds like she has integrity.
@@mathematician1234 integrity implies trustworthiness and incorruptibility to a degree that one is incapable of being false to a trust, responsibility, or pledge. This person admitted that it was likely an oversight on the part of the parents but greed took over 🤑🤑🤑
Dave is just brilliant
I am so glad I saw this clip because this year I opened Roth IRA's and 529 accounts for my kids in addition to their regular savings accounts. I truly want to do my best to put any little bit I can away for their future. I will be looking at private life insurance next and certainly naming them as my beneficiaries. Finally, I need to create a living will. I will take care of all of it this year. Dave Ramsey is my financial guide at this time.
How did you open a Roth IRA for a minor?
@@godfathaofyoI mean you could open, just can't put any money in it
@@Generali087 Okay, was just making sure i wasn't missing something i can be doing to help my kids
@@godfathaofyo best thing you can do is contribute to a 529 plan for your kids so they don't have student loans debt like most people calling Dave these days.
A trust is way easier on tax's and no lawyer fee for probate
Yeah... I can't imagine this money was intended for the sister and nephew. Good reminder to me to update our beneficiaries when the kids are older or make it clear I intend the money is to care for them. Sounds like an oversight.
As an insurance agent, this is 100% an oversight.
People put reliable family members as beneficiaries and FULLY expect them to split it with the family evenly.
Then they should have allocated it accordingly in the policy via contingents. When my dad died, my mom made the necessary changes to policies within a month of his passing. My policies have my husband as primary and my kids as contingents. It’s up to the policy owner to handle their business. The idea of mind reading being a requirement is ridiculous
@@whosaidthat9265The fact that they should have doesn’t mean that there isn’t a moral responsibility for people to do the right thing.
@@murderofcrows7738 and what is the right thing? Ignoring the instructions of he deceased and giving it to the kids because their having a fit? The parents made sure to leave everything else to the kids and had beneficiaries in order for retirement funds etc. This doesn’t seem like an error. They paid the policy every month so the probability they just forgot about it is next to zero
@@whosaidthat9265 its actually close to 100% that they forgot to change it. most people set it and forget it.
@@whosaidthat9265 The reason he didn't put the children as contingents is that the children were under 18 at the time. Many insurance carriers will not accept any beneficiaries under 18 (some carriers do). Unfortunately, the only time people remember to update beneficiaries is when someone passes away.
I saw a situation where a will was left a certain way with the stated intent that the person inheriting would pass it along to the decedent’s children. They didn’t. The kids got screwed and a step-family who was never involved got everything.
My guess is it was an oversight and the "kids" should get the $$$.
Unfortunately minus gift tax
You don't get a vote.
You don't get a vote
@@greggpurviance7252 man the government really sucks.
Ok but that's just your "guess". It is just as likely that he intended for his sister and nephew to have it
People dont have integrity to tell please to their face that they are out of the will. They also want to still control or have one last dig at the person they take out of the will. Its just another power move!
Seen it in my extended family. So sad.
Your Mom's fault unfortunately. As she was getting older she should have given her kids more control over her things or just given you items in advance. You can't trust a man.
To me a Will and insurance beneficiaries are like a business, you have to be very clear and what’s going on or things get completely messy in a heartbeat
It’s your money! You and your oldest son are the legal beneficiaries. You can’t just sign it over without big tax implications. You should see an experienced estate attorney that is well versed in tax. Some attorneys are also CPA’s. Just make sure you stay informed and in control. Maybe I’d set up trusts for all the kids and remain executor. Hire professionals as needed and keep on top if results.
The lady knows the money belongs to the kids. Do the right thing
I think it was left to the aunt and her eldest son, life insurance policies are paid for yearly and can be changed at anytime.
"You're not entitled to anything because you're kin"
I would look at the whole picture. If the kids were old enough and responsible, I would sign it over to them. If they were not, I would put it in a trust or whatever worked best so it would support them as long as possible.
My dad tried to give me a life policy that only could be giving to his 2nd wife. He sent me a signed letter that he told her to give it to me the 10k to go towards funeral expenses. She didn’t want to give it to me or pay for the funeral expenses either. I told her if your not giving it your paying which she did reluctantly. 😮
When my children were young the Will provided them inheritance at age thirty. Why? Because most - the geat majority - of young adults will go and blow it all on frivolus things.
Most 30 year olds and up have hopefully matured enough, have a family, or are starting a family, and therefore, the natural incentives for them change.
Also, GREAT Will / Estate wisdom especially from 6:50 to 7:10!
Do you have the guts to do that, or are you going to wimp out and let someone else - the Executor - take the blame?
I did that representing my wife after she went Home to be with the Lord and, yes, me. Up until we had our Will updated, we had a notarized document conveying leaving one of our children out of the Will. Once the Will was updated, I had my attorney send each one of the children a copy of the Will & Trusts along with a letter that explained why the one child was left out at this point in the hope that they would wake up and make changes in their lives so that they could get a part of the inheritance.
It's not easy, but as Dave Ramsey essentially states, it's the right thing to do!
I think it depends on the amount. If the aunt were to have tax consequences from gifting a lump sum, it may have to be distributed over several years, if at all.
Louisiana law is waaaay different... 🤣🤣🤣 My parents died in Louisiana. They moved there after I was already married and I never lived there. I did not have the first clue about their inheritance laws. It was an experience to say the least!
Even with a Will,, families still get destroyed over money. I had to deal with it
In this case, it does sound like an oversight. I would give the money to them.
Please also remember, the will does not change who the beneficiary is. After you divorce or the death of a spouse, change your will and your beneficiary with the life insurance company.
"Granola based" 😂😂😂😂😂
I’ll admit it. I have a weak spot for inheritance drama 😂
SAME
Same. I especially enjoy it when an obvious money-grubber gets absolutely nothing.
@@gannicusfinch7068yeah but in this case the kids didn’t get it because they were minors at the time. So greedy aunt wants to keep it.
Yes at the time of the policy being taken out
😂
You can only "gift" a certain amount of money per year, per the IRS. You may want to "gift" the money each year (the max) until the funds are exhausted. Consult a estate attorney before any funds are distrubuted.
I would love to get an update on this one. What did they decide to do?
I would consider their age and maturity. If mea t for them, set it up in a trust to be released at certain age with quarterly annuity until of age.
The thing I would question is why the dead guy left the insurance money to his sister-in-law AND HER SON. It sounds like a gift to me and not "use this money for my kids".
Went through something like this with my sister regarding my father’s wishes for the dividing of his farm estate, my sister had left the farm at 18 and I stayed and worked alongside my father while starting and building my own farming business separate of my father.. when he passed unexpectedly it was revealed that his entire estate go to myself except for half of the value of his estate at the time my sister left the farm at 18 and that was a stated value on the will.. my sister tried arguing that my father hadn’t anticipated the growth in value his estate might gain and had he known he was dying he would have rewritten the will to reflect that.. Being the named executive of his estate I simply followed his instructions and told he she could blame him for not being more diligent in his thinking when she met up with him in the after life… Heirs & beneficiaries are not responsible for interpreting their parents writings or making moral judgments about them.. Sorry not sorry but death is just another business and sometimes isn’t fair..
Joel Salatin writes about the kids who stay and work the farm are probably the right ones to inherit the whole farm.
She knows that $$ was meant for their kids. I guarantee she will keep it
John, they inherited a bunch of other assets, so your scenario of them wanting you to "protect" their adult children doesn't add up. If that was truly the case, they would have set up "protection" for the kids with all the other assets.
Not even close. That does not happen all the time.
John Delony is a moron.
Facts I just set up one of these for my son🙏🏾
We made it very clear in our trust that anyone who challenges it gets nothing. We’ve talked to the kids so they know what we want to do. We have a corporate trustee to ensure it’s carried out as we intend. Our attorney has power to fire the trustee if there are problems. Our kids know all this and we’ll remind them every few years. 😊
They would havementioned it in conversation or will. If not, keep it
They need to have the attorney investigate as to when was the beneficiary last updated. I have policy that I have to affirm this data every year. If it was recently affirmed than the money was intended for the person who received it. Also, was there a will or did the parent ever discuss this with the recreants. Sounds like the children were still left plenty so this must have been enough to go around and this was intended as indicated.
My opinion is to honor the deceased brothers will and keep the money. If that bothers you then give it to charity. Relatives received ample share of estate.
The "house, car, IRA, etc." in context of the letter is clearly "Theirs" and should be given to them, but I suspect that's not in question due to the clear background that the children "were" minors when the will was written.
If he died before and I were given assets to help care for them when they were minors, as they became responsible adults I would find a way to give them the unused assets. This could be difficult before his youngest child matures, yadda, yadda.
My point is, they are already adults, so the hard part is moot. Whatever part of the will seems to be intended for the children, as you say, I would give to them as the expected intent of my brother who was never good at keeping his affairs and wishes legally updated, yet we always knew his heart was true.
I moved to another state last year and had a new will done even though the will I had in the last state was only 2 yrs old.
Let’s not forget, even if your kids are under age, you can still name them as “beneficiary”. The fact that the deceased did not name them as beneficiary of the insurance policy, yet passed all the other things to them like the house and car…says it was intentional.
It's not worth it. Goodness, I hope that they'll give the money to the kids. People get their angriest about money. And the anger lasts FOREVER! Sad but true. Blood means SO much more than money that is here today and gone tomorrow. I'm older and have seen this all my life.
A lot of people do not realize that insurance and certain financial accounts that have named beneficiaries do not fall under the purview of the probate process. State laws vary, but it is possible to name the estate or a trust as a beneficiary. However, naming the estate as the beneficiary can open a can of worms if there are creditors seeking money from the estate. All debts must be settled before the probate process distributes remaining proceeds to the heirs.
If I thought my sister and brother-in-law made an oversight, I would give the money to the heirs of the estate. If the funds have already been paid out, there may be taxation issues when they try to give the proceeds to the heirs. To me, it also depends on whether or not the heirs have been disrespectful during this process. I might just tell them to pound sand or the contrarian in me would say to cut them a check and then issue them a 1099, LOL.
You're not entitled anything just because we're kin.
I would give it to them, but keep some for myself for handling the estate.
Had a friend in high school who's parents both died very young. His family had a significant ownership stake in a regional bank and the family was rich (you'd never know it, typical multi-millionaire next door family). He died first, and a few years later his mother died - without a will. The kids got along ok and they could have settled the estate without fuss. But every sleazeball with a trumped up claim on the estate and distant relative on the planet showed up. Long story short by the time it was settled they no longer owned any portion of the bank or any of the vast amounts of farmland the family also owned. There was still enough money that none of the kids had to work a day in their lives. But most of the money would up with the lawyers and other sleazeballs.
If people have claims on the estate, no will or trust can stop that activity. Also family disagreements don’t prolong or dissuade the claims. The law is clear that all affected parties must receive notice. With a trust, the successor trustee fills the same role as the executor.
This story is definitely made up… how would a random stranger make a claim and win… on what grounds
The first mistake was the mother never bringing it up with her sister, (the aunt). If you include someone’s name in a legal document, you better tell them. And the thing that makes it weird is why the nephew was included if it was just for her to take care of the kids.
If you hand over any money, make sure you give them something to sign to say there is no more money coming to them after this. This is it.
Even if I wanted to give it back, I'd consult an attorney. There could be a good or bad way to do this, and there could be tax consequences you don't anticipate.
There are two beneficiaries here and her son may not be willing to forego his half of the proceeds, in which case, this becomes more complicated.
Also we have no idea how much money is involved.
Aunt needs to get tax advice also as she can't just give this money over without tax implications. There are estate implications here also.
The thing that makes me think it wasn't an oversight is that it was left to the writer AND their oldest son. There's not enough context other than that for us to even make a judgment, despite the hard stance some of the other commenters are taking.
Ultimately we can't know what the situation is like. Maybe they didn't get along with their kids. Maybe their kids are all delinquents or drug addicts. We don't know.
Another point may be that the children are grown up and didn't repect their parents, were cruel, disrespectful etc., and didn't want to leave it to the kids. I know that I wouldn't give the money to the kids, I would rather give it to a total stranger that I think would be more greateful.
I never got any money from family. However I now realize I could have had a leg up with one. I may have done better. Give them the money. If they fail, their fault but no excuses.
If my step mother made a new will, dad’s family would not have gotten anything. My dad added her two adult children so we all get 1/5. He told us that. It was his lifetime and his resources. His wife died three years later. I think it was unexpected.
A question not asked here…how important is the relationship to you with the children of the deceased? Do you want to continue having a relationship with the living or the dead? If you don’t care about family get togethers at Christmas and thanksgiving, if you want animosity towards you from that side of the family, keep the money. It is my guess that when someone makes you a beneficiary of an insurance policy there is usually a conversation between the parties. Have the conditions of that conversation been met? There is also the question of tax liability when you gift your legal money to another. You may want to look at the best possible way to transfer the money with the least amount of tax loss.