That's the thing-- we all have to realize that we're stronger than WE thought. A narcissist is gonna make sure you're so down, the only way left to us is back UP again. And we DO. One painful step at a time, but we DO. All we had to do is say when enough is enough. Not everyone makes it out alive. I pray that the awareness and support systems that exist out there continues to help people suffering from abuse. ❤
The more I learned about npd the more I’ve seen the child behind it. Once you start realizing that, it gets easier and easier, to the point where now im laughing 🤣. Just stay away once you know. The joy for life returns, you get back to doing what you want in life. Stay strong.
It is harder to recover from when you realise they were damaged long before they met you ! Most of us were, but we had choices...and that was to spread the love and affection. NOT to use it as a weapon. Trust me on this....they are unconcious but know when they commit an act !
@@Matthew-jd6tv Yes. Very dangerous. Its best to "let them win" if possible, and go full no contact. Still, they'll most likely hoover at some point. Especially if you were a long term, grade A supply. What I never realized after studying npd, was I attracted these things. I no longer am who I was. But, wisdom doesn't come cheap in this world.
You're so right Joe ..the narcissist feels your loss when you are gone forever, I'm sure they do, I think that's when they feel some temporary regret, a dip in their fuel supply.. but perhaps not for very long
Narcissists are always searching for supply. Another spouse to be the primary income source and to take on all the responsibilities, another friend that has to pay for everything and to do "favors" for them. I have been in both positions. It gets old. Once you stop doing everything for them, they leave. Good riddance.
Thanks Joe 🙏☕️ Things don’t work that way any more. No way, no how. It takes a long time for one to remove 1,000 swords from the body. Each are as painful removing than each was being driven in. Those wounds take time and they leave scars. Deep scars. Some heal, sone have not, yet. 20 years marriage has not healed in just 3 years of separation. But I will say this…peace has been found and prosperity is a turtle.
Another goodie Joe. This past weekend ran into a female narc ex associate. I cut off her & her flying monkeys off about 5 years ago. She was gushing over me & going on and on. Telling me how great I looked & etc🤣 I kept cool & got away asap. That chick used to flirt with my husband diss me behind my back & try to embarrass me! Interesting to see the tables turn.
When each monkey is cut off.... the supply goes with it! We have to make painful choices initially. Ultimately we end up with those around us that matter the most. That is your tribe and they love you for what you are !
I have become so much more since we split up ( her discard, but I agreed wholeheartedly ). 14 months... spent wisely. I hear but never ask ... im so glad I never looked back. Thanks Joe 🙏. Peace brother.
@@Mjones4949 Not since the attempted hoover about a year ago....things not going too well for her ! The vitriol that followed made me block every channel. Only heartbreak was having to leave my pets behind.
@ragingspeedhorn sounds like my ex. You can't even make a suggestion without it becoming "Don't tell her what to do"! Everything is an attack on her, so thin skinned.
@@Mjones4949 yep....and the usual crap, like....your boys dont ring you much....they obviously dont love you ! Blah blah....sooo damaged. Ive stayed clear of the wreckage and im even shifting countrys to be back home. 👍
2:54 Thank you this is really helpful ‘represents in the person’s mind’ - I understand logically now what supply means, i personally found it a very difficult concept to grasp, if you just are, & be yourself naturally & are introverted, as i am, people have said i don’t need people, i never even understood such a statement as it is, its not about need but naturally gelling i suppose- anyway if other people are just that other people & separate & whole likewise, who you get in with, enjoy their thoughts & presence literally just for that, in of itself, ie the person, the idea of supply is really hard to imagine even - so this representation idea you are sharing is really helpful, because essentially they are internalising their own delusions to fuel not only their actual delusions but themselves in the process in some weird feedback loop I guess - quite fascinating really. Thank you.
I have been with Henry for 13 years confused if hes a Narcissist I just know when he breaks up with me I'm heart broken...he has never raised his voice or yelled or cursed at me to treated me badly...I'm in CBT now and we are trying to separate what I hear on you tube...and just learning about healthy bounderies....
Hi Debbie, it doesn’t really matter if you know or don’t know whether he is a narcissist or not, your description doesn’t match my experience of a narcissistic (psychopath very sure actually) don’t know if that helps, if he genuinely hasn’t treated you badly that is good - but your words indicate or I read them as seeming to express a history of him breaking up with you - now that is I’d suggest a red flag of something, don’t know what, could be push-pull - but either way, irrespective of any labels the fact is you write it breaks your heart basically & that is not good - you deserve to be with someone who is all in, who loves your presence & company, purely & simply because they do, & like wise you deserve to feel the same for the other person- but it needs to be natural, mutual, organic, a just is, yeah disagreements of course, but a peaceful cooperative robust partnership - so obviously it’s extremely hard for you from what you wrote, but may I suggest you just try to let him go, & try to allow yourself to practice consciously in trusting in tomorrow & your own capacity to find/refind/create meaning & purpose for yourself- 13 years is a long time, so be gentle & kind to yourself, small steps, hobbies, interests, whatever small things bring you peace, happiness, joy or simply being in the moment & in a state of flow - however much you may feel you need Henry, you really don’t, it’s an acquired ‘need’, some of these sorts of feelings can just be a whole mixture of fear, of fear of change, of the unknown, as well as direct feelings for the person, all mixed up, that sometimes we can only separate out with time, & afterwards, with taking the leap to live another stage of our lives, letting go of one stage, & it’s natural to mourn that, it’s a process, but you lived before you knew him, with I assume an unbroken heart & you can again, & perhaps just as an exercise in rebuilding your own sense of value & worth beyond him, maybe try & see if there may just be some truth to these words I’ve written - give you a chance to live for you without any need to be reflected in another’s eyes, you never know you may just find out that deep underneath years of however much life you have lived, there is you, singular & whole - I wish you well, & I hope in time you will be in a much more contented peaceful place & happy.
@@debbiecarmona1930 okay well just look after yourself, I read your comment & just wanted to send you strength & belief in yourself & other possibilities- you know there are lives we have not lived, choices we made or didn’t which means we would have or could have lived another life with a different person, & never even met Henry or the person in my case - love is inside you, your energy, your gift, it doesn’t go just because someone does, I hope I’m making sense, you can share your love with yourself & another/others, but really it is of you not the other, that’s not to say the other is irrelevant, more that your love is a gift to be shared wisely, I’m only learning that myself now too. Good stuff on the boundaries, boundary up! All the best.
I was stronger than he thought.
I was stronger than she thought....and growing every day
That's the thing-- we all have to realize that we're stronger than WE thought.
A narcissist is gonna make sure you're so down, the only way left to us is back UP again. And we DO. One painful step at a time, but we DO.
All we had to do is say when enough is enough.
Not everyone makes it out alive.
I pray that the awareness and support systems that exist out there continues to help people suffering from abuse.
❤
Once you truly understand you're dealing with a demon, you won't take it personal anymore & you'll let them go with ease.
Facts💯
The more I learned about npd the more I’ve seen the child behind it. Once you start realizing that, it gets easier and easier, to the point where now im laughing 🤣. Just stay away once you know. The joy for life returns, you get back to doing what you want in life. Stay strong.
Once you see who they are, you can't unsee it.
@@richardgibbins5612 💯
It is harder to recover from when you realise they were damaged long before they met you !
Most of us were, but we had choices...and that was to spread the love and affection. NOT to use it as a weapon. Trust me on this....they are unconcious but know when they commit an act !
Yes! A child with the intelligence of an adult. Very dangerous!
@@Matthew-jd6tv Yes. Very dangerous. Its best to "let them win" if possible, and go full no contact. Still, they'll most likely hoover at some point. Especially if you were a long term, grade A supply. What I never realized after studying npd, was I attracted these things. I no longer am who I was. But, wisdom doesn't come cheap in this world.
You're so right Joe ..the narcissist feels your loss when you are gone forever, I'm sure they do, I think that's when they feel some temporary regret, a dip in their fuel supply.. but perhaps not for very long
Narcissists are always searching for supply. Another spouse to be the primary income source and to take on all the responsibilities, another friend that has to pay for everything and to do "favors" for them. I have been in both positions. It gets old. Once you stop doing everything for them, they leave. Good riddance.
Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me... nope we should be smarter now, then their tricks. Thank you Joe ! 🤗❤
You're so right all of it so right. This helps me heal after 5 years narcissistic relationship
Thanks Joe 🙏☕️
Things don’t work that way any more.
No way, no how.
It takes a long time for one to remove 1,000 swords from the body. Each are as painful removing than each was being driven in.
Those wounds take time and they leave scars. Deep scars. Some heal, sone have not, yet. 20 years marriage has not healed in just 3 years of separation. But I will say this…peace has been found and prosperity is a turtle.
Another goodie Joe.
This past weekend ran into a female narc ex associate. I cut off her & her flying monkeys off about 5 years ago.
She was gushing over me & going on and on. Telling me how great I looked & etc🤣
I kept cool & got away asap.
That chick used to flirt with my husband diss me behind my back & try to embarrass me! Interesting to see the tables turn.
When each monkey is cut off.... the supply goes with it! We have to make painful choices initially. Ultimately we end up with those around us that matter the most. That is your tribe and they love you for what you are !
Golden throat. Could be great narrator.
I have become so much more since we split up ( her discard, but I agreed wholeheartedly ). 14 months... spent wisely. I hear but never ask ... im so glad I never looked back. Thanks Joe 🙏. Peace brother.
Has she reached out?
@@Mjones4949 Not since the attempted hoover about a year ago....things not going too well for her ! The vitriol that followed made me block every channel. Only heartbreak was having to leave my pets behind.
@@Mjones4949 She just lost her job too....for argueing. Whoops
@ragingspeedhorn sounds like my ex. You can't even make a suggestion without it becoming "Don't tell her what to do"! Everything is an attack on her, so thin skinned.
@@Mjones4949 yep....and the usual crap, like....your boys dont ring you much....they obviously dont love you !
Blah blah....sooo damaged. Ive stayed clear of the wreckage and im even shifting countrys to be back home. 👍
Amen…🙏🏻….just love you Joe ❤️
Absolutely spot on !! I so needed to hear this, thank you
And so it is. 🙂Thank you for share your vibe, Joe. I love following your posts, also on Quora. Cool. Thanks 🌹
2:54 Thank you this is really helpful ‘represents in the person’s mind’ - I understand logically now what supply means, i personally found it a very difficult concept to grasp, if you just are, & be yourself naturally & are introverted, as i am, people have said i don’t need people, i never even understood such a statement as it is, its not about need but naturally gelling i suppose- anyway if other people are just that other people & separate & whole likewise, who you get in with, enjoy their thoughts & presence literally just for that, in of itself, ie the person, the idea of supply is really hard to imagine even - so this representation idea you are sharing is really helpful, because essentially they are internalising their own delusions to fuel not only their actual delusions but themselves in the process in some weird feedback loop I guess - quite fascinating really. Thank you.
They were arguing who was going to sit at the right hand....
I have been with Henry for 13 years confused if hes a Narcissist I just know when he breaks up with me I'm heart broken...he has never raised his voice or yelled or cursed at me to treated me badly...I'm in CBT now and we are trying to separate what I hear on you tube...and just learning about healthy bounderies....
Hi Debbie, it doesn’t really matter if you know or don’t know whether he is a narcissist or not, your description doesn’t match my experience of a narcissistic (psychopath very sure actually) don’t know if that helps, if he genuinely hasn’t treated you badly that is good - but your words indicate or I read them as seeming to express a history of him breaking up with you - now that is I’d suggest a red flag of something, don’t know what, could be push-pull - but either way, irrespective of any labels the fact is you write it breaks your heart basically & that is not good - you deserve to be with someone who is all in, who loves your presence & company, purely & simply because they do, & like wise you deserve to feel the same for the other person- but it needs to be natural, mutual, organic, a just is, yeah disagreements of course, but a peaceful cooperative robust partnership - so obviously it’s extremely hard for you from what you wrote, but may I suggest you just try to let him go, & try to allow yourself to practice consciously in trusting in tomorrow & your own capacity to find/refind/create meaning & purpose for yourself- 13 years is a long time, so be gentle & kind to yourself, small steps, hobbies, interests, whatever small things bring you peace, happiness, joy or simply being in the moment & in a state of flow - however much you may feel you need Henry, you really don’t, it’s an acquired ‘need’, some of these sorts of feelings can just be a whole mixture of fear, of fear of change, of the unknown, as well as direct feelings for the person, all mixed up, that sometimes we can only separate out with time, & afterwards, with taking the leap to live another stage of our lives, letting go of one stage, & it’s natural to mourn that, it’s a process, but you lived before you knew him, with I assume an unbroken heart & you can again, & perhaps just as an exercise in rebuilding your own sense of value & worth beyond him, maybe try & see if there may just be some truth to these words I’ve written - give you a chance to live for you without any need to be reflected in another’s eyes, you never know you may just find out that deep underneath years of however much life you have lived, there is you, singular & whole - I wish you well, & I hope in time you will be in a much more contented peaceful place & happy.
@@Betulaaah i love him very much and I am setting boundaries 💖
@@debbiecarmona1930 okay well just look after yourself, I read your comment & just wanted to send you strength & belief in yourself & other possibilities- you know there are lives we have not lived, choices we made or didn’t which means we would have or could have lived another life with a different person, & never even met Henry or the person in my case - love is inside you, your energy, your gift, it doesn’t go just because someone does, I hope I’m making sense, you can share your love with yourself & another/others, but really it is of you not the other, that’s not to say the other is irrelevant, more that your love is a gift to be shared wisely, I’m only learning that myself now too. Good stuff on the boundaries, boundary up! All the best.
Thank you Joe.
Sounds like a certain "tribe" that's ruling the world
😢😢😢
it like if they don't serve the demon corectly they go into dishonor. i know this plays out for saten worshipers
🙄
🗞️☕️
🙏👌🤠
IM CALLING COPE ON THIS
This is exactly what happened to me 💯
I am now recovered and focused.
Thank you @joebhouse