When you discard the narcissist before they discard you

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  • Опубліковано 1 жов 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 62

  • @InvisibleWarrior279
    @InvisibleWarrior279 3 місяці тому +71

    “Always buying time” YES they are. Narcissists are masters at stringing EVERYONE along. That is at the core of their game. Giving everyone just enough to keep them intrigued while they keep shuffling their deck of supplies. This is a BAD SIGN if you are looking for a real relationship. If it feels like you are being manipulated or strung along, you very most likely are 🫠

  • @etaokha4164
    @etaokha4164 3 місяці тому +45

    I rejected him sexually then he blocked me so I blocked him and never looked back. We have a son together but he wanted to eat his cake and have it and I showed him the door and no way back in. He has no bond or any fatherly nurture toward our son. Our son turned 2 and he wasn't there to celebrate our sons birthday. Glad I went no contact and blocked because enough was enough. He envies his own child. They're mentally sick. Child or no child Go no contact and walk away

    • @missbcritiques9209
      @missbcritiques9209 3 місяці тому +1

      Going through the same thing 😢

    • @fitnesslk
      @fitnesslk 3 місяці тому

      U sound like my ex wife narcissist shit !

  • @kp153
    @kp153 3 місяці тому +35

    I left the narc I was dealing with when he already had a supply. Mind you, I didn’t know what narcissism was back then. And yet, it still felt like I was the one who left him out in the cold (I ghosted him. No regrets there). But, it just goes to show how they need a whole harem of people to stroke their fragile ego. If you’re gone out of nowhere they have a mini collapse of sorts. And they’ll keep doing heat checks to see if you’re ready to come back again. I just had one Hoover this past week. But, good news is I know what’s up now. No contact forever.

    • @jjones4314
      @jjones4314 3 місяці тому +12

      Good for you! Stay no contact & move on to a much better life!

  • @ninath13
    @ninath13 3 місяці тому +32

    Try everything to try to get you back to hurt you again 🙏 soo sad

    • @dub1951
      @dub1951 Місяць тому +1

      I could never understand that they hoover you back to dump you again some sort of power trip, it's a sad way of living

  • @RuthGuy
    @RuthGuy 3 місяці тому +15

    They also totally underestimate us. The underestimation works against them.

  • @louiseelliott6404
    @louiseelliott6404 3 місяці тому +17

    I discarded him. The narcissist overplayed his hand and I was done. I did get hoovered after 5 months no contact. I just wasn’t healed enough and there was still cognitive dissonance, however, after 8 days of contact by text, I discarded again and now another 10 months later I’m still gone and I know i’m never ever going back to toxic. The healing journey is long and tough but it’s worth it for personal growth and ultimately my sanity.

  • @livinggood6876
    @livinggood6876 3 місяці тому +25

    I didn't know about narcissism then, but once I realized nothing was ever going to be enough, I made my plans quietly and left.

  • @comeon_man
    @comeon_man 3 місяці тому +28

    I’m in this situation now.
    It’s a head trip.
    I fell completely for the love bombing.
    She must have thought well that was easy.
    But I instinctually rejected her manipulations and narratives over time. Always my fault my problem.
    Her reactions to me were
    absolutely uncompromising.
    Anyway got her out. 3 months gray rock to no contact.

  • @smartsurvival2605
    @smartsurvival2605 3 місяці тому +14

    He disengaged with me first, but then immediately tried to pull me back in. I said, I'm done and walked. I knew deep down he was cheating. It's been a year and three months and I am not looking back.

  • @licmir3663
    @licmir3663 3 місяці тому +13

    With my narcissist, I always felt this odd feeling that I was her future ex-boyfriend, even when we were fine. I just had this gut feeling that it wouldn’t last, that was simply another person in her life who would one day no longer be part of it. Did anyone else felt that?

    • @th2acian
      @th2acian 3 місяці тому +3

      yep first week of hanging out. we worked together and were on lunch. she made me spaghetti (yeah i know) anyway birthdays came up, hers is apparently in October. it was early march so that’s quite some time. i remember sitting there thinking “yeah this aint gunna make it till then.” i knew this was a bad idea, just severely underestimated how it would play out.
      taught me a very good lesson though.

    • @almor2445
      @almor2445 Місяць тому

      I knew what she was 3 months I but I already believed no one else would accept or love me so thought it would be better than nothing. 6 years later... it wasn't.

  • @kerimorgan6665
    @kerimorgan6665 3 місяці тому +12

    Sounds like paranoia to me. Narcissist are great at flipping the script. Part of their downfall is strictly because of their arrogance. Sometimes all you have to do is just sit back observe and listen as they keep digging that hole. Most of us know that if we are in a hole to stop digging. The narcissist on the other hand, well… as you so eloquently said, “they are full of $h!t.” It is what it is…

  • @alexiswatkins8715
    @alexiswatkins8715 3 місяці тому +12

    I want to say thank you for sharing the information. So many times I’ve listened to your videos and I’m going through exactly what your sharing that day and it really helps me even it’s it’s just to know my decision to leave that situation was the best for me . Bc of these videos I’m moving forward from gaining the knowledge about npd I didn’t know before❤

  • @T1mButler
    @T1mButler 3 місяці тому +8

    Chasing that person you met in the beginning is like a hamster wheel, it's exhausting and gets your nowhere, great video bro

  • @missjulia2010
    @missjulia2010 3 місяці тому +17

    He kept telling me to go away. So i did. Then he blocked me, and then unblocked me a week later. I blocked him and that's that, I'm not playing that game. He told me no woman has ever told him no in 20 years.

    • @louiseelliott6404
      @louiseelliott6404 3 місяці тому +5

      Power to you. Great that you took back your control. 💪

  • @BasedLeifEriksson
    @BasedLeifEriksson 3 місяці тому +6

    I got judo flipped in the discard. I initiated the discard but then started getting dumper’s remorse due to the trauma bond. Tried to take it back when she pulled away and started monkey branching, then she played the reverse discard and did everything she could to get back at me. I wish I would’ve just stayed the course of ignoring her.

  • @fainitesbarley2245
    @fainitesbarley2245 3 місяці тому +4

    The problem the narc I knew had is that as he got older and the pool of available victims got older, people are more experienced and understand more. He was cycling through people in months rather than years.

  • @aden2957
    @aden2957 3 місяці тому +3

    This does ring true for me.
    After a second time around (post hoover) she was becoming less and less interested in me.. I sensed it..
    So then came her discard.. but because I was kind of prepared for it, I explained that she more or less beat me to it. In other words, where she wanted to spring this big surprise on me with the her narcissistic discard reveal.. I knew it was coming and told her so.. Now bearing in mind this was our second time around within a 4 year timescale I kind of knew what she was like.. At least I thought so..
    I naively expected her to say.. Oh well, you knew it was coming so it's no real surprise to you etc.
    However, she flew into a narcissistic rage at this point and it literally gobsmacked me.. I now realise that she hated the fact that I'd sussed her out and that I might have ditched her before she could ditch me.. She'd effectively lost control and she went absolutely nuts from zero to 100 in a few seconds..
    Scarey stuff I can tell you...
    Being a narc she then went from 100 back down to zero with 5 to ten minutes..
    She then arranged for a meet up so she could finish the job on her own terms..as Joe intimated in this video.. She had to have the last word on her terms and regain her narcissistic control..
    That was the final discard...
    Beware people.

  • @donnellallan
    @donnellallan 3 місяці тому +4

    This rings so true to my experience. Thank you for putting words to it. 💜

  • @lioubovgrant1935
    @lioubovgrant1935 3 місяці тому +2

    Good evening ! ⭐🌝 How nice is to say good morning and then good evening to you Mr. Joe B. House ! 😊 Thank you for finding time for us today , we always glad to see your a new work ! Beautiful images too ! 🤗❤

  • @sheririchardson7480
    @sheririchardson7480 2 місяці тому +1

    My self-love trumped my love I felt for him. So many lies and betrayal. Our marriage was a facade from the beginning. He knew it wouldn't last and I will never forgive him for that. Thankfully, our marriage only lasted 8 months instead of many years of living in pure hell.

  • @user56gghtf
    @user56gghtf 3 місяці тому +22

    The delusion of the narcissist is that they think you NEED them like they NEED you. The way we all need oxygen.
    But in reality for you it's not a NEED. You are choosing to want to be with them or around them (if it's a platonic.)
    WANT and NEED are two completely different scenarios. They confuse our WANT (as in a choice) as their NEED (as in a requirement)

    • @icalotdonthide2646
      @icalotdonthide2646 3 місяці тому

      That is the dimples yet most mind blowing explanation. I could not warp my head how anyone could be so demented to think they would need someone and put up with anything to have people around. It's because they would and expect us too. They see self-respect as arrogance then. oMG😮😮. They are fken donuts.

    • @GreenEnvy.
      @GreenEnvy. 3 місяці тому +5

      The narcissist bends us over and bones us with their negativity.

    • @KarenKeating-t2p
      @KarenKeating-t2p 3 місяці тому +5

      Yes, they only really exist because we buy into their delusional perception of who they are. Once you know/break free of the 'spell' it's like 'see ya never narky'.

    • @user56gghtf
      @user56gghtf 3 місяці тому

      @@KarenKeating-t2p Agreed. Discernment is amazing.

  • @Acceptancetoday
    @Acceptancetoday Місяць тому

    I’m the one who suggested we should just be friends after observing the decline in everything, he would sit silently with eyes shut when I visited after work, for example, no tv, just outdoor chairs, a bed, an offer of pot I didn’t want, I’d declined the group sex suggestion……he would disparage my religion, I had it and pulled myself out, he had shamed me for years about my money and I gave him a lot. He is old now, I was giving him money, loss of all teeth pretending I don’t notice that he can only eat soft food. He started yelling about my religious beliefs and took it too far. I said no, no more money from my check. Go away. I think I pleased God by stopping the support of such depravity.

  • @Hanka1981
    @Hanka1981 3 місяці тому +1

    I found out from my sister’s friend that he she saw he had a tinder profile. I then waited a few days went to his home with a HUGE suitcase and took all my belongings and took my power back. When he opened the door it looked like he saw a ghost, his eyes were black !!! (His real eye colour is blue) he told me right away that he wasn’t with anyone and I replied I didn’t ask. I told him to give me the keys he had to my home. I was calm, didn’t yell, showed him the screenshots I got from my sister’s friend’s profile pictures on tinder. He actually wanted to start an argument and I didn’t fall for it and it’s not in my nature to yell. He tried to hug me many times and I backed away. Unfortunately he is my brother in law’s best friend and nephew’s godfather so he is in my orbit. My sister tells me he says to her how happy he is but she sees right through it, he is very inauthentic. She told me she is a total downgrade and not his type, chubby, wears tons of makeup and dresses like a granny. She cooks and cleans for him, I guess he wants a mom to take care of him and his son is very disrespectful towards her. It’s been 2 years and it still bothers me and I just avoided seeing him and his GF due to an occasion at a restaurant.

  • @PatriciaPeck-j3u
    @PatriciaPeck-j3u Місяць тому

    I had dated him before so when we reconnected I always thought something was so very off and not quite right about him.
    Fast forward I walked away and blocked him there will never be enough woman on this planet for him, but if they had the feeling I did of him they will walk away as well and save themselves from a sick person.

  • @alisonj9533
    @alisonj9533 3 місяці тому +1

    So true. I even knew I was giving, overgiving, overdoing but knew this person was moving. Then she really kicked into gear blame shifting over me, me asking a simple request, you know the answer to that! A couple back and forth txts and I immediately blocked permanently knowing full well it was just another day in her life, her normal but it's certainly not my normal!

  • @rudylomas8501
    @rudylomas8501 3 місяці тому +1

    God is great beer is good and people are crazy
    Feelings Feelings Feelings
    Gotta Love it
    Stay in control you hold the keys to your well being

  • @SylviaGonzalez
    @SylviaGonzalez 10 днів тому

    I want to stop watching these videos, but your voice and cadence is so soothing.

  • @Madamex369
    @Madamex369 2 місяці тому

    my problem is atypical
    married to one and he played the long game … 5 years
    BOOM
    thing is … he moved into my house so I cannot leave
    ridding him is going to be a challenge but im up for it

  • @trayle1220
    @trayle1220 2 місяці тому +1

    Narcissists are monsters and will drain you so bad you are just shell of yourself anymore.

  • @rvrnt196
    @rvrnt196 3 місяці тому +3

    Thanks joe!

  • @DarylBailey-n1n
    @DarylBailey-n1n 9 днів тому

    Liars🇨🇦💪🏻😮

  • @MegaRockstar48
    @MegaRockstar48 2 місяці тому

    I walked away however I think she was pushing me hard the previous 24 hours so I’m not sure if it was a planned reverse discard. She denied it but I’m not so sure

  • @ceyciemateo9411
    @ceyciemateo9411 3 місяці тому +1

    Yes ! Love the consistency!

  • @zombiemolly9711
    @zombiemolly9711 3 місяці тому

    Thank you .

  • @sportswise6435
    @sportswise6435 3 місяці тому +4

    Could you do a video on the difference between a narcissist and a dismissive avoidant?

  • @klyn9619
    @klyn9619 3 місяці тому

    SH🚫IT!
    Ty 🕊️✨🙏🪽🫶

  • @eminemstrash2021
    @eminemstrash2021 3 місяці тому +8

    I'm sorry but narcissists feel really fun to me, especially once you're onto their game. They're so predictable it's almost comical and now that I know how to protect my internal experience it's game on.

    • @KR-pp7wp
      @KR-pp7wp 3 місяці тому

      I agree. It's funny how some think the only way is no contact. They're just piss ants, laughable piss ants.

    • @vyoufinder
      @vyoufinder 3 місяці тому +1

      yepp. they get 4x the dopamine hit from sex as a neurotypical. im playing one now.

    • @danaparfitt2491
      @danaparfitt2491 2 місяці тому

      ​@@vyoufinderas in, in a movie ?

    • @vyoufinder
      @vyoufinder 2 місяці тому

      @@danaparfitt2491 No. Fact.

  • @dervish108
    @dervish108 3 місяці тому +1

    I think I got the worst of both worlds in my narcissistic relationship.
    My ex broke up with me twice.
    First time, I tried to move out and then I successfully got hoovered (before I knew what hoovering was).
    Her second discard of me was even more painful than before, and I was determined to move out. She wanted me to stay. As what? A roommate?
    Anyway, she was furious and later accused me of rejecting her and giving up on her “too easily” and not being patient.
    Right after she broke up with me, I was so weak, I could barely bring myself to shave and shower (there was a lot of devaluation before the discards), and we had just moved to a new place together, so I suppose she thought she’d break up with me and have me paralyzed in her web for a while. She didn’t expect me leave despite the fact I tried to before and had just dumped me.