Thankfully growing up in a house like this teaches you what you don’t want. I’m in a relationship where we share responsibilities. If I get sick and can’t physically help around the house things are still taken care of and of course I’d do the same for him. Apparently he’s not a real man because he understands that a relationship is about teamwork. I told that to my narc Ghanaian parent and he said “there’s no fairness in marriage.” And “you will nerve be married because you’re not realistic about your expectations.” He thinks that all of the responsibilities should be on the wife and daughters while the men sit in the living room with their feet on the table.
the shopping thing is so relatable. i remember one time my step mom asked my dad to get some stuff from the shops. he asked me to come with him, i go thinking oh my dad wants to spend time with me, no. he wanted me to come so that he can stay in the car whilst i go and do the shopping. so you know what i did i bought some extra stuff for myself with his card and made sure he KNEW i did. i got in trouble but it was worth it because i got to buy stuff for myself and he knew to never pull that lil stunt with me again.
Damn we've lived the exact same life, and I'm 22 as well. Oldest sibling of 3 kids and only daughter. Down to the jealous bully of a mom who calls you prostitutes for no reason, down to shaming you for your body as they are two tons, down to the father that stares for no reason with his alcoholism and pretentious attitude. Somehow our mothers picked them over their children while being the most miserable women in the world.
I don't know your " living Situation " , I suggest YOU be in charge of your Apartment. I mean rent yourself an Apartment . You live ALONE BUT you have peace and your mental Health . I thank you for sharing your life with me .
I wish you a very good new year. You have a good heart and you know how to respect and you are right : Noone has the right to put you down. Stay safe. All the best wishes for you ❤
So sorry to hear about all you went through. Please make sure you are physically safe, as narcissitic injury can lead to extreme responses from them. Please be careful and stay prayerful. God bless 🙏🙏
The truth is this "man as head of the house" is necessarily a way to mediocre and abusive men run from being accountable about their bad behavior. Everything they do is justifiable, independently if is mean. They want to have the right to do bad with others without needing to think if the person will do the same to them because if they try, they will call it disrespectful. I swear, those "traditional" ways are just manipulation.
I have an idea of what you feel since I have African parents who were abusive along with their relatives. I felt that I should say try to deliver this in a therapeutic way because this can help some. I just feel like honoring parents is better than displaying unhealed wounds. Try to look for the right therapist while I am too. You’re a beautiful child of GOD
@ i feel like when I was angry at them and displaying it, life became harder for me. Looking back at it, it seemed like I was self destructing. Maybe that’s just me
This is advice I got as a Muslim, I shouldn’t allow harm for myself and you shouldn’t blindly follow parents. Not to push my religion on you, just my perspective
@@JJ-qd9yl yes I learned that people have used Religion to manipulate others, I grew up in a family that called themselves Muslims when people are truly religious do not use it to harm others or try to judge
Thankfully growing up in a house like this teaches you what you don’t want. I’m in a relationship where we share responsibilities. If I get sick and can’t physically help around the house things are still taken care of and of course I’d do the same for him. Apparently he’s not a real man because he understands that a relationship is about teamwork.
I told that to my narc Ghanaian parent and he said “there’s no fairness in marriage.” And “you will nerve be married because you’re not realistic about your expectations.” He thinks that all of the responsibilities should be on the wife and daughters while the men sit in the living room with their feet on the table.
the shopping thing is so relatable. i remember one time my step mom asked my dad to get some stuff from the shops. he asked me to come with him, i go thinking oh my dad wants to spend time with me, no. he wanted me to come so that he can stay in the car whilst i go and do the shopping. so you know what i did i bought some extra stuff for myself with his card and made sure he KNEW i did. i got in trouble but it was worth it because i got to buy stuff for myself and he knew to never pull that lil stunt with me again.
😂😂😂👏👏
When i say u dealt with monsters, that’s not a figure of speech. You actually dealt with monsters. I’m so sorry for you.
Those generational traumas always end with the REBELLIOUS DAUGHTER/SON! Great attitude!
Yes! it baffles me as how no one else seems to spot this but i can??!!!
May the devil never take away your beautiful smile ❤
Damn we've lived the exact same life, and I'm 22 as well. Oldest sibling of 3 kids and only daughter. Down to the jealous bully of a mom who calls you prostitutes for no reason, down to shaming you for your body as they are two tons, down to the father that stares for no reason with his alcoholism and pretentious attitude. Somehow our mothers picked them over their children while being the most miserable women in the world.
Mind you the men? VERY VERY USELESS. VERYYYYYYY USELESSSSSSSSSSSS
I don't know your
" living Situation " ,
I suggest YOU be in charge of your Apartment.
I mean rent yourself an Apartment .
You live ALONE
BUT
you have peace and your mental Health .
I thank you for sharing your life with me .
I wish you a very good new year. You have a good heart and you know how to respect and you are right : Noone has the right to put you down. Stay safe. All the best wishes for you ❤
Wishing you the best too, thank you
So sorry to hear about all you went through. Please make sure you are physically safe, as narcissitic injury can lead to extreme responses from them. Please be careful and stay prayerful. God bless 🙏🙏
True, Ive seen it happen before, am not close to them
The truth is this "man as head of the house" is necessarily a way to mediocre and abusive men run from being accountable about their bad behavior. Everything they do is justifiable, independently if is mean. They want to have the right to do bad with others without needing to think if the person will do the same to them because if they try, they will call it disrespectful. I swear, those "traditional" ways are just manipulation.
You are talking about my mom lol
I have an idea of what you feel since I have African parents who were abusive along with their relatives. I felt that I should say try to deliver this in a therapeutic way because this can help some. I just feel like honoring parents is better than displaying unhealed wounds. Try to look for the right therapist while I am too. You’re a beautiful child of GOD
Honour them for what??? Abuse??
@ i feel like when I was angry at them and displaying it, life became harder for me. Looking back at it, it seemed like I was self destructing. Maybe that’s just me
It’s best if you get out of the situation and not engage beyond a respectful “hello, how are you” if you want to honour them and not be a victim
This is advice I got as a Muslim, I shouldn’t allow harm for myself and you shouldn’t blindly follow parents. Not to push my religion on you, just my perspective
@@JJ-qd9yl yes I learned that people have used Religion to manipulate others, I grew up in a family that called themselves Muslims when people are truly religious do not use it to harm others or try to judge
So everyone in the family was bad except you. Hmm
This is a bad take btw.
🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅
It’s called a narcissistic family system and being the scapegoat. Confirmed by licensed therapists 😊 if you don’t like her stories get off her channel
People like you keep quiet cuz you can't understand what she's talking about
The g vern ents have DESTROYED the Black family...