TRANSGENDER SURGERY: 6 MONTH POST-OP MONTREAL GRS (TRANSGENDER REGRET) Kate Madden Vancouver

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  • Опубліковано 2 жов 2022
  • I had gender confirmation surgery with Dr. Brassard at Montreal GRS in April 2022. The first six months of recovery have been taxing, boring and difficult. This is a video for anyone contemplating bottom surgery and for people interested in learning what the recovery is like from vaginoplasty over the first six months.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 179

  • @KateMadden
    @KateMadden  Рік тому +7

    Hey friends, T@RFS and Evangelicals have found this video and I am missing some Transphobic comments. If you see something that I missed please flag me and I will remove it. Use my YT handle: @katemadden
    Thanks 🙏🏻🏳️‍⚧️💛

    • @Emzzz78
      @Emzzz78 Рік тому +10

      You really should allow for the whole conversation. I have nothing bad to say, but as long as it’s not vulgar, leave it.

    • @sarahgabriella84
      @sarahgabriella84 Рік тому +5

      @@Emzzz78 TERFs are not here for conversation but for spreading hate and false information.

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  Рік тому

      From a Queer Theologian:. www.queertheology.com/biiweek-bisexual-christianity-homophobia/

    • @richardprice5978
      @richardprice5978 2 місяці тому

      @@sarahgabriella84 id/others-would love the opportunity for shutting up the TERF's and homophobia by naturally being ( preferably one-case filled by a trans-mask SRS male to really show how far advances are, instead of being relied upon sis-male's/IVF, as well as the life-experience's ) pregnant ( be helpful with dating as it simplifies with medical records and choices, im not into gay-activity ( have a gay boomer uncle so im cool with male-gay's/bi's it's just im looking for parenthood matches ) so i was relieved to be dating a active-full-working v-card-mother-type, medically could have skipped that part/or-ish$$ and gone straight into are you looking forward to motherhood or fatherhood STD-ect as surgery's can fix that if something's damaged/missing and focus on other parts of relationship vetting etc, as 2010~ politics-med is currently im i forced into adoption/surrogate or move-on/not a good-fit family-wise just off one question and or policy-will on a federal level instead of being a couple's choice ) as medically possible nowadays to transplants or regrowing organs ect but in the USA 🇺🇸 it's politically being blocked as a parenting option experience
      i understand kate's frustration as i was ( forced, my mother was insisting on males/son's-only, ethically incorrect as it is/was my decision to make as a 12yo~teen ) transitioned as baby to 5yo~ intersexual, ball's plus v-card'd, but yes sex isn't fun/painful experience at least i get enjoyment from my partner's ( by previous choices made i told her after discovery ( no bedtime-fun beforehand wedding ect ) i might be the problem with us not getting children but her being sis/full working helped with diagnosis ) big-O and yes my kidneys-etc have drain+pain issues as well as hormones/wait-problems ( and definitely understand fantom-painful experience's, one of my reasoning for SRS and mentally 4yo and up i would have been a lesbian or bi child and feel im missing out on it as being girly as i like victorian and ~1940's-80's~ fashion, something menswear didn't get my mind on ) as that's some of the reasons why i found the lie's to me and also getting bullied for being a girl*looking-ish ( unfortunately for some in my family members there 6ft+ females and one isn't the most likely to pass as a sis-mother but she's got 4-kid's, so yes im stuck with a bigger body/frame as scientifically not possible yet to my knowledge srinking me down to 5"0ft to 5"5 90lb-150lb's ) in the teen men's locker room, if i got the chance at fullness id probably take it as a bi-female mother, btw in my 30's and being Polly id be okay dating a openly post-op trans, as a teenager i was under the impression the was always ladybirds or the trans/girls ( POS syndrome/others would also count as a strike against her 🤦🏻‍♂ sadly my teen-brain and religious/local-community ) that didn't want to be honest about prenatal-vag+organ's and the it's not working ( pill-birth-control is taboo but not considered gay/immorality ) it's equivalent to gay*ish sexuality 🤦🏻‍♂ sorry my sex-ed wasn't end-user friendly experience at least im getting better after high school/college and being married monogamous once

  • @lauraann2437
    @lauraann2437 Рік тому +26

    So... the "transgemder regret" is click bait? Cause you don't really go into what you regret about it and when asked you say you don't miss anything. Just seems odd.

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  Рік тому +2

      Thanks for watching 😎

    • @InAHollowTree
      @InAHollowTree 4 місяці тому

      i was wondering that, too. I'm relieved that in reality everything actually turned out OK, but I was mystified by the title's relation to the content.

    • @reader1236
      @reader1236 День тому

      Thanks for this comment! I could stop watching.

  • @braaaplife557
    @braaaplife557 Рік тому +8

    Hey lady. Just came across your channel and I'm really impressed with how open you are. I had mine done by Brassard 25 years ago when he was really young and I still have 0 regrets. I was back on my bike at 9 weeks and I remember thinking that was amazing. Mountain biking on the north shore was my passion in those days and getting back to my sport was so important. These days it's with a throttle but sport is still so critical for well being. Anyway, I'm sure glad women like you are making content like this as all mine was pre google and YT. Cheers from Kamloops.

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  Рік тому +1

      Is your first name Michelle? I remember some strong opposition to a Trans woman mountain biking on the North Shore about 20 years ago.

    • @braaaplife557
      @braaaplife557 Рік тому +4

      Yes that's me. I went on to win the national championship multiple times but that was 15 years ago. It was a media shit storm in those days.

  • @loulouderosa8227
    @loulouderosa8227 Місяць тому +4

    It reminds me of my post-childbirth experience. Sitz baths, and your bottom is all torn up. You must wear sanitary pads and use a squirt bottle to cleanse whenever you use the bathroom. No sex for a month. Painful.

  • @thevideoof8795
    @thevideoof8795 6 днів тому +1

    This is a lot to go through, i thank god i was born a female. Wish you the best.

  • @DJMightyChip
    @DJMightyChip 5 днів тому

    Thanks for posting this and being honest about your experience. I'm looking specifically at GRS Montreal, so like... experiences specifically from there are extra important.
    That must have been quite the experience going through that during the plague.

  • @irenel1119
    @irenel1119 Рік тому +1

    Thank you as always for sharing, all the best to you and your family

  • @alisaharris8926
    @alisaharris8926 Рік тому

    Thank you so much for sharing your life with us. I am keeping you in my prayers.

  • @marti7343
    @marti7343 Рік тому +3

    Kate, thanks for such an honest and informative video. Really glad to see things are working out for you.

  • @bobbeejean
    @bobbeejean Рік тому +5

    Thank you for your open and honest recount of your experience. I had zero depth as did my partner and apart from the dilation etc. We both went through similar things but I really respect your bravery going the full monty. Orgasm is individual and can be frustrating as you find your new normal. My orgasms have become explosive but my partner is still waiting for hers so it is all new experiences and adventures. Thanks for sharing and good luck with everything.😉

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  Рік тому

      Thank you for watching and thank you for sharing your experiences.

  • @Arby82
    @Arby82 Рік тому +3

    Thanks for sharing your experiences with such candor.

  • @serenajamison1725
    @serenajamison1725 Рік тому +2

    Recovering is a huge task and it doesn't get the attention it really deserves. I'm glad that your company gave you the time that you felt you needed and glad that you were able to come back when you felt you were good enough to go.
    Here in the US, I have pretty decent insurance where my out-of-pocket is a very limited low number and so I've ended up getting four surgeries this year, three of them gender-related (BA, GCS, and first FFS out of three) and one necessary (gallbladder removal).
    So far my company has given me nineteen days off across all four surgeries. And four of those nineteen days were the day of the actual surgery. FYI, I received two weeks and a day to recover from GCS, two from BA, one from gallbladder, and one from FFS surgery. So hearing about your mental and physical challenges is something I relate to and I'm happy that you're sharing this... and I know that I'm trying my best to recover both mentally and physically too. Dilating while recovering from facial surgery was a bit of a trip.
    I have my youngest two kids (out of four) living with me still too, so removing my tools from their sight has been an interesting concept... heck, my dad literally _walked in on me_ shortly after surgery while I was dilating, which was absolutely mortifying and unnecessary... but, well, life is life is life.
    Good luck!

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  Рік тому +1

      That's a lot of surgery and not a lot of days off, I would really struggle with that but I think our countries have significantly different employment cultures. I hope that your recovery goes well and that the next two FFS go without a hitch. (Egads! Your Dad?!)

    • @serenajamison1725
      @serenajamison1725 Рік тому +1

      @@KateMadden Yes. The quick story -- I had to rent out a tiny 2 bed AirBnB for recovery following GCS in San Francisco. It was a bit less than two weeks following surgery, I had a follow-up morning appointment with the surgeon's office and as you well know the four-a-day schedule is brutal... my parents were my caretakers.
      San Francisco traffic is horrendous in the mornings because if one of the bridges gets clogged, everything backs up catastrophically... I was still dilating and my dad knocks on my door to get my attention. I croak out as loudly as one can so soon after surgery that I'm _very busy_ at present... but it was so important for him to tell me that the television's traffic report said that things were messed up that he opened the door anyway. At that point I'm trying to move my body as fast as possible to try to cover up everything, including the dilator that I was 100% in present usage of.
      I know that he meant well, but it was not one of my happiest moments. (My mother had a very long talk with him afterward.)

    • @lampjaded
      @lampjaded Рік тому +2

      Dilating while recovering from FFS! Wow.
      Honestly, the combination that seems the worst is when they do BA and GCS at the same time, which is an option at Montréal and Thailand and probably other places. From the sounds of it, just the reaching down to do that after a BA is awful!
      The people who walk in unannounced, well, they get what they get, don't they? 😅 Hope your dad's okay?
      We went on a trip to go see family over the mountains this year and it was $$ to get enough rooms so I could dilate in private. We had to split the rooms differently the way back so I was literally hiding on the carpet between the bed and the WAY TOO COLD A/C unit on our way back for the last dilation of the trip. Brrrrrr.
      Hope you're recovering well! That's a lot for a body to take!

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  Рік тому +1

      In the hotel with my kids, I made a pillow fort and hid under the sheets to dilate. So uncomfortable.

    • @lampjaded
      @lampjaded Рік тому

      @@KateMadden +10 points for a pillow fort 🏰

  • @emilogue
    @emilogue Рік тому +2

    Hey love, just my 2 cents regarding the repetitiveness of the process: us ADHDers don’t do repetitive too well… so I suspect this is part of what is casting a shadow on your experience.
    Also I’m sure there is a remapping of your brain when it comes to nerves but also a lot of you (re)discovering your body. It is a sensory, but most likely emotional exploration as well. Since you’ve mentioned stopping the blockers I’m wondering how much time it takes for your body to process that (yet again) transition?
    Anyhow, an extremely complex process, altogether. Thanks for being so genuine and sharing so openly ❤
    I’m very happy to hear that you still feel that sense of peace, 6 months later.

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  Рік тому

      Ahh... That makes sense with the repetition and the ADHD brain 💡
      The emotional aspect is something I need to consider more as I continue to heal and feel better and better.
      Merci 💛

  • @sillytilly967
    @sillytilly967 Рік тому +2

    Hey girl! Im so glad I found you. I have been listening to interviews of transgender people sharing their experiences. I feel that being educated is so powerful. You have the pretties green eyes. I LOVE your long grey hair. I started growing my grey and currently going through the , "ugly faze", lol. You inspired me to keep growing it. I sensed your genuineness, sincerity and authenticity. Thank you for sharing. I really felt your heart. Im soooo sorry for all you are going through. I cant imagine. Just know, your not alone. God bless you. I pray you experience God's love for you. Something happens when one experiences the Love of God. God bless you. I subscribed to your channel. I will be checking in on you to see how you progress along your journey. I think you should provide your experience, for the betterment of mankind. I have a whole new respect for the challenges you gace. Could you do a video on how Cis-people can approach a transgender person and be more supportive. Again, thank you. I will be praying for you.

    • @sillytilly967
      @sillytilly967 Рік тому

      What did you mean when you said your time was "spoken for."

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  Рік тому

      In the video? Probably referring to the demands of the dilation schedule and focus on recovery.

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  Рік тому +1

      Here's a video I did a couple of years ago about allyship: ua-cam.com/video/FMRXuM12MsA/v-deo.html

  • @davefisher1840
    @davefisher1840 Рік тому +2

    Extremely interesting and helpful!

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  Рік тому +1

      Thanks for watching 🙏🏻

  • @inga9839
    @inga9839 Рік тому +8

    You seem so very sad. I hope this is not the case.

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  Рік тому +1

      Thank you for your concern. 🙄

  • @pollyannaprinciple5860
    @pollyannaprinciple5860 4 місяці тому +1

    You are so beautiful. Learned so much listening to you talk about your experience.

  • @kelliereviews5341
    @kelliereviews5341 3 місяці тому +3

    Thank you for sharing your story

  • @streaming5332
    @streaming5332 2 місяці тому +4

    Sounds incredibly uncomfortable.

  • @shirleycrosner634
    @shirleycrosner634 Рік тому +2

    Hello Kate - just wishing you rapid healing - mind - body and soul - just curious about the company you might prefer ?
    Speaking only for myself - I enjoy another lady like myself ... I'm a non-op

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  Рік тому +1

      Thanks for watching and for sharing 🙂

  • @kingjay212
    @kingjay212 Рік тому +1

    I can't find information on the long term effects of HRT & SRS for MtF ppl? I am hesitantatong on transition ONLY because I have heard MtF have a much higher risk of blood clots/strokes when taking HRT & after GRS

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  Рік тому +1

      I have never heard about the risk of stroke but my MD and I had long conversations at the start of HRT about the risk of blood clots, it's best to check with your MD or Endocrinologist to get accurate advice specific to your medical needs. Good luck.

  • @perl5girl
    @perl5girl Рік тому +3

    Wondering why you have "(transgender regret)" in the title and "maybe it was a mistake" in the thumbnail. Whilst there have been difficulties, your overall position about surgery seems to be positive. I may have misunderstood though. Thank you for making another interesting video though 👍😄

  • @JaneDoe-ip5yl
    @JaneDoe-ip5yl Рік тому +2

    I have a question about the mucles in that area. I don't know if men have muscles in the same spot or how that works. maybe surgery does some moving around. seems very complex. glad you are doing well

    • @lampjaded
      @lampjaded Рік тому

      Pelvic floor muscles are about the same, though they are not used to being moved out of the way, which is what dilation helps with after the insides are healed up after 3-6 months. It's a similar issue to women with vaginismus. HRT also seems to innervate things a bit more - instead of being all forward pelvic floor muscles, it allows more control over the other three quadrants, which is... honestly a fascinating "how does THAT happen?" change.

  • @midnitelite7210
    @midnitelite7210 Місяць тому +1

    I think it's really hard for people in this community to say anything negative about transitioning because they are afraid of discouraging others from transitioning. It's just really unfortunate that the people who could be giving honest guidance to people who are thinking about transitioning. So we end up with a lot of people with regrets they could have avoided but are still afraid to talk about it because they aren't supposed to talk about it. It just seems like a really scary place to be when you can't trust any of the people around you to be honest and accepting of your choices.

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  Місяць тому

      Hugboxing is a vibe.

    • @smthnabtliya
      @smthnabtliya Місяць тому +2

      It definitely can be scary but transparency is very important, especially even talking about transition pros and cons.

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  Місяць тому

      @@smthnabtliya I agree and have tried to show that tough times and the good times on this channel over the last several years. What I have learned is that things get better but they don't get easier. 🏳️‍⚧️

  • @tori8380
    @tori8380 Рік тому

    With the newer GAS is the neovagina self lubricating?

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  Рік тому +1

      Some folks are confirming this. Yes.

  • @badiramour7442
    @badiramour7442 Рік тому +6

    Bonsoir !
    Why is it so important to have the bottom surgery ?

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  Рік тому +1

      Par ce que c'est tout moi maintenant. 🙂

    • @badiramour7442
      @badiramour7442 Рік тому +1

      @@KateMadden Merci. Bonne chance.

  • @conniemcintosh6247
    @conniemcintosh6247 Рік тому +11

    Had surgery on June 28 and I can relate to a lot of what your saying. The smell is from the lube and you have to wash that stuff out. I make my own saline rinse but be sure to use distilled water and plain salt. I don’t boil it but just pour some water in a bottle and a little salt and shake it up. A trans friend put me on to the douche kit setup,from Amazon. It come with a variety of soft insertion nozzles and it works great without a lot of mess. I just stand up in the shower and wash everything out. Anti bacterial soap,is a must with the dilators and wash your hands as well. They don’t tell you a lot at the hospital or maybe I was on the pain meds and don’t remember all of it. It’s a lot of work but there are some things that we can do to shorten the process and get on with our lives. I finally made it back to the gym a few weeks ago. The first two months it felt like I was trying to sit on a pitchfork on some of the equipment but it got better . I started back slow but I’m making good progress and getting some energy back. The surgery takes a lot out of you. Like you, this is new territory and the social part of this can be difficult sometimes but I knew this was the right decision for me. We can’t carry the weight of everyone else’s opinion. Wishing you the best..

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  Рік тому +1

      You're right about the soap being so important 🚿

    • @kimmmwest4641
      @kimmmwest4641 Рік тому +4

      Why do y'all do this to yourselves ???

    • @conniemcintosh6247
      @conniemcintosh6247 Рік тому +2

      Well Kimmm, I could explain it to you but I’m all,out of crayons.. Seriously though if you don’t have gender dysphoria then the things we do would seem strange to anyone and we get that. But ask yourself why would we go through all the pain and expense and all,I can tell you is the overwhelming sense of peace within myself . I’m not trying to take anything away from anyone or force it on anyone. This is not religion. We simply want to live our lives as the people we are. It just took us a little longer to get there is all..If you have a smartphone or a iPad then the information is there. All you got to do is keep an open mind. I don’t think you would be opposed to any other surgeries that were not possible 30 or 50 years ago like heart surgery and other organ surgeries. It’s no different.

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  Рік тому +2

      What a beautiful and succinct response. Also, crayons 🖍️🤣💛

    • @kimmmwest4641
      @kimmmwest4641 Рік тому +4

      @@conniemcintosh6247 I am against BBLs because so many women die getting them... I'm against cosmetic surgeries that are this risky and likely to fail to deliver the desired results.

  • @Alan-ct3bo
    @Alan-ct3bo Рік тому +1

    Great to see your post. I have thought of you often. Wishing you the best.

  • @ikr2377
    @ikr2377 2 місяці тому +2

    Informative

  • @marjoriedale9471
    @marjoriedale9471 Рік тому +5

    Such an informative and valuable video. It was interesting hearing and seeing your vulnerability. The fear of infection and UTI are things cisgender females experience and it is hard to get through physically and emotionally especially the first time. Kind of a suffer in silence thing but don't feel alone or think this is just to do with you having a neovagina. Common experience for every woman. You are very brave and strong ♡

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  Рік тому

      Thanks for watching.

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  Рік тому +2

      I take my diagnosis and treatment from my MD not some rando on UA-cam, I hope others are smart enough to ignore you and the unnecessary and incorrect information you have posted. Don't tell me what I have or didn't have and don't post your bull on my channel. Preferably, don't comment on my videos again.

    • @marjoriedale9471
      @marjoriedale9471 Рік тому +1

      Hey I was kind of plagued with UTI's for so long for about 10 years that I have internal damage to a kidney valve from bladder retraining that damaged the valve and allowed urine back up into one of my kidneys and caused a massive infection and even today I have the constant feeling of the urge to urinate. Not incontinence. Just feeling 24/7 like I have to pee. This was a problem brought on from sex and to do with my personal set up. My urethra starts in a slightly... askew place and even with having a pee and shower afterwards I would still get infections. Changing partners would immediately trigger it again and even now my long term boyfriend and i have to be showered and brush our teeth. It was very painful and made me feel alone and defective. I can recognize that the plumbing won't exactly align but Kate is obviously looking after herself. I don't think alienating people is particularly helpful. This sounds more like you hate the idea of people having surgeries you deem unnecessary or dangerous. What with free will you may find yourself feeling bitter for the entirety of your life at that rate. Do you leave negative comments under extreme sports videos as well?

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  Рік тому

      Cranberry juice can only do so much I found. 🙂

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  9 місяців тому

      I have a ready supply of cranberry juice now 🤷🏻‍♀️

  • @sarab8332
    @sarab8332 Рік тому +4

    Kate, It is normal to second guess ourselves after surgery and wonder if we made the right decision. It's a major life changing surgery and the pain that comes with it. Sure recovery was a bitch for me and dilation sucks and is boring and time consuming. But in the end, it was worth it and i am at peace with myself in my life.

  • @tracielove4161
    @tracielove4161 Рік тому +15

    U don't come across as happy after the surgery.

  • @walkingbyfaithnotbysight2291
    @walkingbyfaithnotbysight2291 Рік тому +1

    Hi Kate, hope you are doing well. Just came across your video. I'm so glad you put videos out for people. I lost a niece to suicide because no one would expect her transportation to become a man. So thankful you are here for people. I'm here to say that GOD loves everyone and for those who say mean and hurtful things to those who are following thier hearts , well they can just keep there negative thoughts to themselves

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  Рік тому +1

      I'm so sorry for your loss.
      I am a believer and have talked about this in multiple videos; transition has taught me that God works with truth and what could be more beautiful than the truth of ourselves and being able to love (and be loved) fully and in a way that gives life?
      Thanks for watching. 🙂

    • @walkingbyfaithnotbysight2291
      @walkingbyfaithnotbysight2291 Рік тому +1

      @@KateMadden thank you so much... I really really appreciate your empathy. You will be in my thoughts and prayers 💗

  • @daveharrison7970
    @daveharrison7970 4 місяці тому +4

    Hi, Find your talk very interesting, only problem is that I can hardly hear you. I might think that it could be my equipment but other channels have no problem in the mid audio range. Yours is at 100% and can barely make you out. Just letting you know. Really hope your transition has given you every thing you were hoping for and more. All the best.

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  4 місяці тому +4

      Thanks for watching, I am working on the audio 🎙️🔉🔊

  • @asrr62
    @asrr62 Рік тому +1

    i wish i could get surgery. im in so much pain my testicles are damaged one freely twists around. both my testicles have hydroceles. my testicles hurt all the time especially uncomfortable for me to walk. ive been trying to get surgery but its really hard for a trans woman in texas. i have been dreaming of vaginoplasty for 10 years your so lucky to live in canada where you can get it for free please dont take that for granted. please know im suffering every day most the time. i dont know if ill ever get surgery. i guess ill just have to wait till my next life to be comfortable in my body cant wait for my next life ive been dreaming. i strongly believe that if i had testicular cancer they woudnt even get me an orchiectomy. i really get triggered and agitated that other people can get surgery but not me. thanks for video anyways..

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  Рік тому

      I'm sorry that you are experiencing all of that. I have enjoyed my visits to Texas and wish it was better for Trans and Non-Binary folks. I hope it gets easier for you and you find a way to navigate the American health system.

    • @asrr62
      @asrr62 Рік тому

      @@KateMadden yeah why pay for health insurance if it doesnt work! thanks for listening. i think im gonna see about getting a social case worker. if i lived in seattle or some place insurance would have to cover it but im in austin texas. health insurance should be illegal and its a scam. it makes our healthcare so much more expensive. ive also not had good luck with doctors. also once i went to the Emergency Room and i was called a PEDOFILE and it really messed me up mentally. im definitely scared for our women and children in this world now. i try to take care of my city. ive baby sat peoples children and stuff too. thank you so much for listening.

    • @justusrobin83
      @justusrobin83 Рік тому

      Sister move to california! I’m extremely poor and have had all the basics trans procedures coverd in full bilateral orchiectomy 3 years ago and I’m about to have srs is a couple months everything will be completely coverd though kaiser Northern California

    • @stuff1784
      @stuff1784 Рік тому

      @@asrr62 You may need to move to CA to get the medical care you need.

    • @Mandy-nt2cs
      @Mandy-nt2cs Рік тому

      ​​@@asrr62 With all those problems, keep looking for a dr until you find one that will approve it. Why in the world were you called a pedophile at an ER visit?

  • @lola3369
    @lola3369 Рік тому +5

    the “getting kicked in the balls” pain sounds like phantom limb pain

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  Рік тому +1

      Ain't that a kick in the pants 😂

  • @gracekavanagh9198
    @gracekavanagh9198 Рік тому +3

    Please god mine is soon because hiding my bulge is very depressing

  • @amymjennings
    @amymjennings 28 днів тому

    Maybe just have voice surgery. You'll be fine. It may just be your deep voice that keeps you from passing the way you wish to properly?

  • @pauliephilippa5869
    @pauliephilippa5869 Рік тому +1

    Hey Kate thank you for your thoughts you should try the Cab Sav or some of the reds from Western Australia and the Margaret River. Wow you did not get much of a break between surgery and work.

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  Рік тому

      I will keep my eye out for your recommendation, I like Australian Shiraz and will grab that sometimes 🇦🇺🍷

  • @angeladahl9067
    @angeladahl9067 Місяць тому

    Hi Kate,
    I live in Langley, B.C.Canada.
    I am a Trans Woman well.
    I am.a Pre op Trans Woman, and I am on hrts for 7 plus years.
    I think you look great.
    I'd like to hear from you.
    Regards,
    Angela Dahl.
    .

  • @TheoRae8289
    @TheoRae8289 2 місяці тому +2

    You're absolutely gorgeous, Kate. Thank you for sharing your experiences.

  • @heisdeadjim
    @heisdeadjim Рік тому +1

    This is.... awkward for me. Ill never have the dollars ro do this :(
    Keep being fkn awesome!

  • @gillianstapleton8566
    @gillianstapleton8566 Рік тому +2

    Bottom surgery seems such a big thing to consider .. it’s seems to have a lot of complications for sexual and general health but obviously if your dysphoria is around that area it maybe necessary… but I think it should be a last resort after looking at all other avenues and weighing up the risk benefit. A friend of mine is trans .. she doesn’t take hormones and didn’t have bottom surgery.. she has facial feminization & boobs … she seem very healthy

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  Рік тому +2

      There is no right way to be Trans.

  • @lemonadelunacy3592
    @lemonadelunacy3592 Рік тому +7

    hello :) New here, probably going to subscribe. I've been called a TERF (although I hate labels like that), so I've been trying to step outside of my "echo chamber"/"circle jerk" and see first hand what's goin on in the T community. I wanna read all the comments and get an idea of what the other side is like. I've always been a "liberal", but ever since 2020 when everything went to sh!t, I've been feeling politically homeless. I've been hoping to gain some insight from people outside my usual scope. I appreciate your story, and everything you've been through. Thank you for sharing so openly. :]

    • @lampjaded
      @lampjaded Рік тому +2

      Thanks for checking it out, Jalisa. Kate's good people ❤

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  Рік тому +4

      Hi Jalisa, thanks for your comment and for watching. I think it's important to step outside of an echo chamber as well but I struggle when a lot of the folks talking or "asking questions" are putting people at risk.
      I hope you find value in what I share.

  • @ennioborniotto6248
    @ennioborniotto6248 Рік тому +1

    The Red Cabernet Sauvignon is also pretty good too

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  Рік тому +1

      I think I have had it. 🍷

    • @ennioborniotto6248
      @ennioborniotto6248 Рік тому +1

      @@KateMadden I don't drink anymore but I couldn't shut up .

  • @amazonglamazon6633
    @amazonglamazon6633 4 місяці тому +4

    Not twist cap wine 🍷 😂

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  4 місяці тому +1

      🍷🍷🍷😂😂😂

  • @JimmiAlli
    @JimmiAlli Рік тому +5

    I would struggle to dilate. It sounds very painful.

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  Рік тому +3

      It's not painful, just repetitive.

    • @lampjaded
      @lampjaded Рік тому +1

      At Montréal, after they separate and line the cavity, they basically pack a medical balloon with gauze and keep that there for most of the first week. It's about the same size as the biggest dilator (1 1/2") and after they snip out the stitches holding it there and take it out (which is a relief!), they get you to dilate within an hour or two, and, well, people told me it would be okay, and it was okay.
      Some gals can't relax and they need some pelvic floor therapist help, and that is legit, but for the most part, there is a bit of pressure and discomfort but it isn't generally painful.

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  Рік тому

      Medical Balloon 😂

  • @kazwright1233
    @kazwright1233 Рік тому +4

    70 days until peritoneal flap vaginoplasty 😊Dilation starts day 5 after surgery. And 12 weeks?! It has taken me 2.5 years to earn the 6 weeks off I need for recovery.

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  Рік тому +1

      Good luck!!!

    • @kazwright1233
      @kazwright1233 Рік тому +1

      @@KateMadden Thank you! After 55 years a few weeks should be easy. It's so not.

    • @kazwright1233
      @kazwright1233 9 місяців тому

      @@Emily-Wolfe Totally amazing experience and super happy with the results. Dilation is mindnumbingly dull, though that is a small cost to pay all things considered. Hugs!!!! Edit: Damn girl, I am so glad you got to transition at the age you did. You look amazing! Me? yeah, I will never pass.

  • @JherricaHarris
    @JherricaHarris 27 днів тому

    I am thankful for you this video, Kate you are very brave! This has given me a lot to think about when it comes to getting srs, it took me years to get on estradiol bc I went back and forth in my mind but finally took the steps. I am taking my transitioning slower now and not trying to rush it

  • @Alan-ct3bo
    @Alan-ct3bo Рік тому +1

    Normal is good.

  • @sherribarrett1576
    @sherribarrett1576 Рік тому +2

    I also had both of my surgery's in Montreal by the woman surgeon & she is the best

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  Рік тому

      Good to hear you had a positive experience - I only met Dr. Brassard and Dr. Laugani.

  • @shadow.banned
    @shadow.banned Рік тому +2

    Low mic.

  • @sarahgabriella84
    @sarahgabriella84 Рік тому +1

    Regrets are normal. Did we go to the right surgeon? Get the right surgery? Complications? Was it worth it? There is no guarantee that a decision we make is the best decision for us. I want a vagina because i should have been born with XX chromosomes and with a naturally grown vagina.

  • @jennymendoza248
    @jennymendoza248 Рік тому +1

    Hi i just got here in Bc Canada 3months ago when i get my PR card. I want to get my surgery in Vancouver too

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  Рік тому

      That's great, I have heard good things about VGH and Dr. Genoway. I got my surgery in Montréal with Dr. Brassard.
      Congratulations with the PR, my Father was an immigrant as well.
      Good luck!

  • @diogenes-apostle
    @diogenes-apostle Рік тому +1

    Please don't worry about climax and nerve damage. I've read it takes a year for the nerves to fully heal.
    Forgive my ignorance: did you have facial feminization, or is that pure estrogen? Also, if I have Male pattern baldness, will estrogen make my hair grow back?
    You should also use coconut oil for lubrication, since it's a natural microbial and it destroys back bacteria.
    BTW, I was turned on the first second I saw you 😉

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  Рік тому +1

      I have had no facial surgeries. All estrogen.
      I had a bald spot at the back of my head that grew in but everyone reacts differently to estrogen based on all sorts of physiological, genetic and lifestyle factors or comorbidities - your mileage may vary.
      Coconut oil should not be used in neo-vaginas per multiple sources.
      Btw, learn consent and don't comment about your arousal on my channel again.

    • @diogenes-apostle
      @diogenes-apostle Рік тому

      WOW!!!Thanks for your response...I learned a lot from you. I get your point. but I didn't talk about "arousal" though...just "turned on"...like excited to learn more 😉👍🏿

    • @kamariatoure42
      @kamariatoure42 Рік тому +1

      You are a beautiful woman! Especially being that you never touched your face..wow! Good for you girl 😉

    • @DorianPaige00
      @DorianPaige00 6 місяців тому

      You get about a year of reversion of hair loss.

  • @BlytheWorld1972
    @BlytheWorld1972 3 місяці тому

    You look better with the hair off your face .. good luck though .

  • @DrayseSchneider
    @DrayseSchneider Рік тому +3

    All the untold, albeit often minor, complications of GCS. 😅 But every girl's experience is different, I suppose. One video I watched an older trans woman was discussing being aroused but not able to do anything about it because they were still in the early stages of recovery. So much to consider as I wait for my own insurance company to review my doctors' letters....

    • @DrayseSchneider
      @DrayseSchneider Рік тому

      @@well-8814 Lots and lots? The only reason there are as many as there are is less to do with numbers of detransitioners and more to do with a certain segment of the ruling class, who see attacking trans and other queer folk as an opportunity to protect their interests, promoting them over the majority of trans folk that don't detransition or regret it. And, considering that most trans folk feel so rejected by a society that makes them feel unsafe for being born a certain way, all this promotion of an extremely small minority perspective for political gain only makes things worse for us.
      So, thank you for your concern. If you actually care about trans folk then listen to the voices of the *whole* trans community without cherry picking those that confirm your internal biases, browse the scientific literature to discover where the weight of evidence actually lies, and read more books on the issues that aren't written by rabid TERFs and transphobes who lie, distort and misrepresent science, trans folks in general, and misquote and quote mine people they might actually interview but don't support the TERF/transphobe position.

    • @DrayseSchneider
      @DrayseSchneider Рік тому

      @@venusoflatassimus3584 TERFs don't get to appropriate the Divine Feminine, Feminism or Womanism.

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  Рік тому

      I removed the comment. More than one Cis Woman has encouraged me to become more in tune with The Divine Feminine.

  • @Asachara
    @Asachara Рік тому

    noooo where did my wonderful comments gooo

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  Рік тому +2

      On this video? UA-cam may have filtered it out for some reason. Not sure.

  • @Lela_Dax
    @Lela_Dax Рік тому +4

    Yay ! Another trans woman raising kids...feels like I'm the only one sometimes..I'm scheduled for December btw, thanks for the info❤️💛💚🙂

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  Рік тому +1

      Yes, being a parent and Trans is something that doesn't get a lot of attention which is why I have made a couple of videos over the years about what has been experienced in order to show others what's possible.

    • @Lela_Dax
      @Lela_Dax Рік тому +2

      @@KateMadden right..I'm raising five kids with my ex...its...an usual situation...but it works good for the kids & us 🙂

    • @Lela_Dax
      @Lela_Dax Рік тому

      @@KateMadden curious if u do tik tok ? I stated out on here...but have been really getting into creating videos for tik tok lately

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  Рік тому +1

      I do not create on TikTok, too much on my plate. One of my teammates does and gets millions of views but I just don't have the time, energy or interest to invest in another platform.

    • @Lela_Dax
      @Lela_Dax Рік тому +1

      @@KateMadden you have teammates ? 🤔 lol...

  • @johnm.2398
    @johnm.2398 Рік тому +2

    You have the video titled "maybe it was a mistake" but you seem to be okay with everything.

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  Рік тому +2

      Funny that, Trans person finds happiness. Go figure 🤷🏻‍♀️

    • @Tskb7
      @Tskb7 Рік тому +2

      @@KateMadden I think they were saying that the title is misleading. For autism, this is still hard to tell even after watching your video and also he’d to tell what you mean from your response to this person.
      So you don’t think it was a mistake, correct? I think this is sarcasm in your response, yes?

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  Рік тому +1

      Sarcasm is the lowest form of humour.

    • @bxstar5276
      @bxstar5276 Рік тому +3

      @@KateMadden it’s not all because you are trans, I hope you are doing well. It’s click bait and annoying.

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  Рік тому +1

      People, this is a Wendy's.

  • @lampjaded
    @lampjaded Рік тому +1

    I hope you can reconnect with baths, Kate ❤
    It was SO much time to start with. The 4x a day, the bathing, the douching, the DRYING. A full time job on its own.
    Still surprised at the artistry. I know some gals are really hung up on that. I didn't care so much, as long as everything was okay. Wife was expecting it to be hamburger and avoided looking, but since she wouldn't trade bed sides (ohoho, sinister!), she got a look and had to tell me what an amazing job they did. I've hardly ever seen it myself! It's hard to see down there!
    I went back to work at four weeks, but it was remote, thank goodness. In-person stuff compromises so much. IKEA laptop pillow and a laptop. Was able to sit for longer periods near the end of month two. Just so much like biking for way too long. The schedule for month three felt so much better with the bathing reduction. Freed the brain at last. Next month? 2x a day? WONDERFUL.
    Had an adhesion right near my urethra my gyno was embarrassed not to notice. Just healed together both sides. She offered to split it and she did. That went pretty well. Could've used scissors instead of all that fancy equipment, though 😅
    No climax yet at 11 months here, though. Might be wired wrong, honestly - get shudders that I can't "feel" properly? Ah well. Not much I can do about that, and I'm not on the market anyhow.
    Been some internal swelling and using some xylocaine and resuming Sitz baths (aaaa) at gyno's request. Helped a little but maybe 40%.
    Might be worth using a little OTC hydrocortisone cream near your urethra for swelling. That helped my stream a bit.
    Still happy to be close to a year. Blows my mind to be close to tapering down already. Once a week will be incredible.
    Gained 25 lbs as well. Frustrating, because that was a LOT OF WORK to get my BMI down to avoid a sleep study. It was going up 8 lb a month regardless of a similar diet enough that I went to see the doctor to make sure nothing bad was happening. Thank goodness it leveled off after five months and went a tiny bit back down. All tests came back good.
    Smell's not strong at 11 months. Kinda funny - it alternates between - no kidding - dark honey and iced tea powder smell though more... "biological". Very odd 😅
    Thanks for sharing, Kate ❤

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  Рік тому +2

      I am always amazed at the detail, length and candour that you share on any platform. Your IG posts should be published as an Amazon ebook on how to transition. I will ask my GP about the hydrocortisone. Thank you.

    • @lampjaded
      @lampjaded Рік тому +4

      @@KateMadden I love that you share all these things here, Kate! I'm honestly afraid of the video platform, and you've been so candid in sharing your experiences up close and personal.
      *laugh* You forgot the prequel to my IG posts, "How To Have The Best Opportunity, Bail, And Drag One's Arse In Epic Fashion Until It Hurt Too Much To Continue 17 Years Later" 😊
      I'm STILL adding to my stinkin' Google Docs journal, though I'm down to a post every week now. Had to split it in two because I hit a limit 😅 Body changes still happen at four years! What is this magic?
      I hope the hydrocortisone helps. I had urethra-area swelling for six months (though a lot of that under the adhesion) and the doc prescribed Sitz baths (not sure how much those help) and xylocaine to numb the area so it didn't make itself so angry, but I got cortisone cream for my own day use for the area, and it's been good for swelling AND labial itchiness after I tried that out on the itchy sides the other day. Feels the best it has in ages, and I get a stream that just goes straight on in like magic.

    • @sarab8332
      @sarab8332 Рік тому

      @@lampjaded Jade, My wife didn't want to look at mine at first too because it was swollen and bruised after my surgery, but once things where healed, she was amazed. A good surgeon can do amazing work.
      I was also prescribed sitz baths and hydrocortisone for my urethra too. I had scar tissue and swelling and i sprayed everywhere went i went to the bathroom. Now i have a steady stream that goes straight into the toilet. Sitz baths do help the blood flow which promotes healing.
      Your labial itchiness is because you have dry lips for some reason. It could be caused by dilation's, lube, urine, toilet paper, cold dry weather, and the type of underwear you wear. Cortisone is a short term relief, but don't use it continuously because that is a sensitive area. Get yourself some OTC Moisturizing cream that doesn't contain perfumes and apply it everyday.It worked for me and things got better. Also wear cotton underwear too.
      It took me over a year myself to climax, so don't give up hope. I could get close, but never over the top till it happened one day. You just need to put your mind to it and it will happen. How often do you masturbate?

  • @seanhopkins9710
    @seanhopkins9710 Рік тому

    Hi MS Kate Madden you are so beautiful can you wear redlipstick or redlipgloss in your next video please from SEAN M HOPKINS

  • @ladenacrenshaw3258
    @ladenacrenshaw3258 4 місяці тому +4

    Darling, I am a lovely heterosexual woman and I like you just as you are a lovely person I would like to know. I like to discuss subjects of an intellectual nature but also everyone has something that hurts their heart and that needs to be heard and listen to Be sweet ,generous with a open heart and you will be fine my dear. NOT TO WORRY🫂💗💗💗 Kate do the best you can but always always consider your health first and for most. Don't become dust in the wind . Take care pretty Lady Hope to get to chat again. to hear someone say I love you is worth 1000 days try not to dis spare. Love yourself don't giver up. sex is the best when you feel a bond or love for your partner, so just keep pure and consider that the best is LOVING SOMEONE..Not sex to just do it oh gross !! Love yourself more than that , you deserve that.

  • @pswooley
    @pswooley Рік тому +2

    Thanks for this post. I’m 58 and trans. The whole grs recovery process seems so hard. I don’t know if I could keep up the work. I have done an orchi. ᡶꪮꪹỈ

    • @KateMadden
      @KateMadden  Рік тому +1

      It is a lot of work and we all find the right way for our individual transition.

    • @pswooley
      @pswooley Рік тому +1

      @@KateMadden I agree!. I'm trying to still feel valid. I've had to pull away from some transfeminine people since they made me feel "unworthy."

    • @lampjaded
      @lampjaded Рік тому

      I came back a day before my 51st birthday. I've talked to a number of gals older than me and they were able to manage it. Some comorbidities like, say, leukemia, can be a challenge, but overall, it can be done.
      THAT SAID, your transition is your own. If you don't want it, don't get it. I get pretty mad at people who get GRS and then all of a sudden decide everyone who doesn't get it is "less than". *Screw those people*. I'll never think of anyone who doesn't get surgery as less-than. Transmed nonsense.
      Hells, I wasn't going to get it myself. It was a weird concerted brain push that triggered off some bottom nerve development that just woke up like it was a dog that recognized it was "close to home" and went ballistic. That was beyond awful, made this necessary, and I'm happy now but still remember not needing it and being quite happy to ride the no-surgery train all the way to the nursing home.
      You do you 💪