I Wanna Be A Lifeguard by Blotto
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- Опубліковано 13 жов 2024
- copyright Blottones Music
written by Broadway Blotto
www.blotto.net
Selling shoes
Another loser working in a shopping mall
9 to 5
A slave driver telling me "Get on the ball!"
A crowded store
I kneel before them
Misery beyond compare
Sweaty socks
A lady boxer
What's she got against fresh air?
I want an ocean and some sunscreen lotion
Take me to the beach with a thousand pretty girls in reach
I, I, I wanna be a lifeguard (help,help,help,help)
I, I, I wanna guard your life
I, I, I wanna be a lifeguard (lifeguard, lifeguard)
Hardly any clothes (lifeguard)
Sand between my toes (lifeguard)
White stuff on my nose
Selling shoes
Another loser working in a shopping mall
I'm getting fat
What does it matter?
Nobody cares at all
But next July, I'll say goodbye to every out-of-it, dull-witted fool
Convert their feet into meters, marking distance at the swimming pool
Summer blondes revealing tanlines
I'll make more moves than Allied Van Lines
I, I, I wanna be a lifeguard (be a big man, now...get a great tan, now)
I, I, I wanna guard your life
I, I, I wanna be a lifeguard (lifeguard, lifeguard)
Sitting on my chair (lifeguard)
In the salty air (lifeguard)
White stuff on my nose
I, I, I wanna be a lifeguard (help,help,help,help)
I, I, I wanna guard your life
I, I, I wanna be a lifeguard (lifeguard, lifeguard)
Lounging on the deck (lifeguard)
Whistle 'round my neck (lifeguard)
White stuff in my nose
I, I, I wanna be a lifeguard (lifeguard, lifeguard)
Its 2021 and i want to hug anyone who still loves this song... Blotto Rocks!
It's 2022. .hugs 😉
Megahug!
Lol my son wants to train to be a lifeguard for a future summer job
Very great song to this day.
2023!
My dad came up with the, "Summer blondes, revealing tan lines, I make more moves than allied van lines" line! He knew the guys in college. Awesome!
You dad sounds like one I wish I had. I have always loved this song and that lyric is one of the all time best!
I would like to buy your dad an adult beverage of his choice.
genius
Awesome. Blotto opened for Jean-Luc Ponty at Toad's Place, 1982? this was the highlight of the whole show.
amazing
Blotto played my college in 1983. Yeah I'm old. But it was the 80's These guys were fun. Not everyone can be REM.
Thank God.
I'm jealous ❤❤❤
@@cellobus2961 You said it
The first band I ever saw live.... cause they opened for The Tubes, probably that same year.
I must admit, one thing I like about UA-cam, you can find theses gems. ALBANY BABY! ALBANY!!!
Hardly any clothes, sand between my toes, white stuff on my nose. DAMN!!!
"I'll make more moves than Allied Van Lines" is one of the best lines in pop history.
Best lyrics in history lol
I'm glad I'm not the only one who remembers this song.
Heard it on 80's Sirius the other day. Towns say they can't find enough lifeguards this Summer. Back in the 80's, everyone wanted to be a lifeguard!
Why cant this be taken seriously? I love the humor. But we need real REAL LIFE guards!!!!
Early, Early MTV. When they actually played music and only had 4 commercials an hour.
Blotto, Yello, Lene Lovich, Madness, Echo & The Bunnymen, Martha & The Muffins... so many great acts... good times.
@@christopherhelms7290 You're killing me. Maness, Martha, yeah.
Literally day one of MTV - I put a comment on this video about it no one saw 🤣
And only had about, what, maybe 50 videos to play. And half of those from concert films...
Man, these guys had killer vocal harmony.
Classic Albany NY punk rock. The "ocean" scenes were actually recorded in Lake George, NY.
Yes record it in lake George but it was in the winter. I remember Broadway telling me at one of the shows that he was freezing his ass off
Punk rock? Much like The Ramones were a punk band I s'pose.
Hate to admit this....but I've seen this band several times at The Chance in Poughkeepsie, NY. They were so much fun to watch. God I miss those days!
did you go to the show when they opened for the Ramones?
I still haven't recovered from when they showed up for Blottowe'en dressed as the Go-Gos...
Randomly, popped into my head one day.
I knew it was a real song.
Probably haven’t heard this since 81-82 when MTV first aired.
And now it will be stuck in my head all day!
AWESOME 🤣
RIP Sarge, hopefully you're enjoying that big beach in the sky with white stuff up/on your nose!
I met him only briefly, through a few of my dads friends in the Albany folk scene. He was a great guy.
No more Sarge or Cheese Blotto😢🎤🎸
Blotto = underground geniuses of punkwave rock ...really unique and stands out as SPECIAL in the mix of all the bands of the 80's and late 70's new wave revolution .....kinda like a buried gem who never loses it's golden shine.
I first heard of this song on Doctor Demento back in the summer of 1985. I ran across it again on college radio in 1987. By the way, that white stuff in zinc oxide, for those chemically inclined. It prevents sunburn!
This video was played on mtvs first broadcast day.
I believe is what in the first couple of hours I actually seen the list recently the first 100 videos I think they were like in the 30s or something like that
I saw Blotto open for the Tubes in '82, what a crazy night.
Now that's a show I really wish I saw!
My RPI roommate is in one of the crowd scenes. My favorite is still "We are the Nowtones"
I sing this song randomly throughout the day from time to time.
Blotto really gave the Albany/Troy music scene a huge boost way back when. Loved these guys
I didn't know it then, but my family had its last vacation with all four of us (mom, dad, big brother and me) in the Spring of 1981. We went to Toronto and stayed at the Park Palace right there on Yonge St. This song was...EVERYWHERE. I loved it so much that 42 years later I still remember it.
Regularly played on WPIX-FM New York during the summer of '79. Pix-FM "New Wave" format only lasted a year because it was ahead of it's time but it was the greatest
Yes, I remember! Still have that yellow WPIX-FM t-shirt with Elvis Costello!!!
@@AudiophileTubes I wonder where Jane Hamburger is these days.
@@edkollin God only knows, LOL
what made this come into my mind and then search for it on youtube? the brain is a strange and fascinating organ
These guys were great. They were the answer to Frank Zappa's question...Does humor belong in music.....YES!!! (at least there should be more of it!)
Sat whatever you want - this is a GREAT song. It's got everything that a song should have. Good beat,rhythm harmony,seriousness,comedy,hidden message, intro of group. YOU CAN'T DENY IT !!!
What's the hidden message??
This was one of the many local bands I watched every weekend at various local dive bars for free. These guys all lived in the area. Fun times.
LOL. He keeps saying "White stuff ON my nose" in the chorus (sunscreen) but the last time he says it he says "White stuff IN my nose" (cocaine) at 3:30. He even makes a sniffing face after he says it.
EDIT: R.I.P. Sergeant Blotto (real name Greg Haymes) died on April 10, 2019.
Stumbled upon this vid today (4/27/20) while committing my old Blotto vinyl to MP3 format. My mind wandered, and I began searching for the guys. I iz sad to hear of Sarge's passing. The concert scenes took my mind right back to JB Scott's in 1981. Travel well, friend.
Every now and then I get this song stuck in my head. This helps me get it out
Who wants to be a lifeguard
That is exactly why I am here today. I needed help help help help help help help help getting it out of my head.
Great! It's been three years, and now you got it stuck in my head again!!!
@@clarkem4119
RIP Greg Haymes aka Sarge
12 degrees F outside. This song hits the spot.
I used to be a lifeguard and WSI ... This song is Dr. Demento material ... brilliantly hilarious!
Dr. Demento indeed used to play it back in the day.
One of the first songs on MTV when they actually played music....
Took a chance on this weird looking new wave 12" for $0.50 about 10 years ago, filed it away and kind of forgot about it. Pulled it out about a week ago since I didn't recall listening to it at the time and I really like this record. Goofy as hell in all the right ways.
The late great Greg Haymes. A true legend in the Albany area music seen and beyond. Not to mention he had THEE best hair, lol. Sorely missed, RIP.
Aww, Sarge… when did he die?! Saw him many times when he would join local artists on stage and he had his washboard around his neck, strumming away. Really nice guy and great music journalist.
I bet the concert scenes were filmed at JB Scotts on Central Ave.. I also bet I was in the audience. These were fun times
I thought that too. And, I was probably there as well.
I still love this song in 2023. Way better time in my life for sure
I remember seeing this randomly on TV in the very early 90's. Had it stuck in my head ever since.
Same, VH1 used to do those "80s weekends" and I think that's when I first saw this. Amazing.
This video is number 37 from MTV's first day
@@jimmystaggervideo number 37 on MTV August 1st or 2nd 1981
When I was a kid, this song seemed so silly, I loved it! All these years later, I randomly sing it for no reason 😂
Oh god this song 😂 loved it back then and still do now lmao
In Nashville, we had 91 Rock, WRVU owned by Vanderbilt University. I was one of the D.J.'s at 91 Rock that played this song. Back then, the AOR "Commercial Radio Station" we had here, 103.3 WKDF, wimped out and starting to play Lite Rock/Soft Pop. We beat WKDF by playing this song, as well as many New Wave and some Heavy Metal. This was 1981 for me. I worked also worked part-time at another AM Station at the time as well. I couldn't play Blotto there.
I remember Turkey Television on Nickelodeon playing this all the time. Never paid attention to the 'white stuff IN my nose' line until I was much older. Yet it somehow still managed to slip past the censors for a kids show. 😂
A True Story, An old bank executive once gave me this piece of advise. "Son, dress for the job you want, not for the job you have." I turned to him and said, "But I want to be a Lifeguard"
Well done.
Oh Blotto- I remember them so well- they were great in concert-especially Sarge's tribute to heavy metal. The first time I saw them-he bit the head off a Smurf doll- the 2nd time- a Cabbage Patch Doll!!! He Sarge- did Elmo ever have a siliar fate!!
I saw these guys at the DC Wax Museum ages ago. What a show!
I was there.
@belairesquad4 If you didn't grow up in that era, you just don't get it. Cheesy pop-rock sound was king in the late 70's and early 80's.
Think Devo, The Cars, Cheap Trick, etc.
I went to college in nearby Schenectady. These guys were either the headliners or openers on probably half the live shows I saw in my 4 years. They are fantastic! Very funny, but also a legitimately great live rock band.
exit 9 represent...
Saw Blotto at the Chance in Poughkeepsie, a lot of fun. Thanks Cheese.
the chance.... was just there
Some of my favorite shows growing up were at the chance. Remember seeing Stevie Ray Vaughan at the Chance
Blotto, Ramones, Joe Perry Project. Good times.
wow this has it all- woman in a headband a la Olivia, 80's sunglasses, 80's owl glasses (I had a pair), stripey shirts (still wear em), mullet on the drummer, cocaine reference, bad lip synching.... love it!
Oh people! This was a bunch of college friends who made a song together. No reason to have a hairball because it did not have the production values of, say, "When Smokey Sings" by ABC. It is great for the kind of song it is.
2:54 - "sitting in my CHAIR,
"in the salty AIR,
white stuff on my NOOOOOOSE!!"
priceless!
This is pretty cool! It's like the Beach Boys meets the Ventures meets the Vapors.
"Help! Help! Help! Help!"
I’ve always dug this tune.
And of course on the 3rd time comes around, the white stuff is “in my nose”. A wink to illicit powders of course.
My mom was good friends with Broadway Blotto back when he was in the Star Spangled Washboard Band. Fun times. I love this song.
+Anna Rose Johnson I dont belive you
South Florida, California Hawaii! Lifeguard is a careers! Aloha
Early, early MTV. I loved them the first time I saw this video. Also, The Producer's - What's he got.
My Dad used to sing this all the time when I was a kid. It might be where love of Surf Music comes from
This came out the last year I guarded on the Jersey Shore. Where ever you are, bros, hope you're all good.
Who can forget that summer when Blottomania surged across America?
Hi Blotto, I saw you guys at SUNY Stony Brook back in the 80's! Fun dance music...
For years I've looked for this song and no one knew what the heck I was talking about. I remeber coming home from school and watching this when MTV played videos...
RIP Greg Haymes...
been lackidaisically looking for this forever.....wish it was as cool as i remembered it.
It's 2018 and I still love this!
I first heard of this song on Doctor Demento back in the summer of 1985. I ran across it again on college radio in 1987.
I saw these guys at a club in Banksville, NY called The Country House. They did this tune. It was like 80 or 81.
"Summer blondes, revealing tan lines, I make more moves than Allied Van lines." Ahahahahahaha!!!!!
Found 3 Blotto albums yesterday!!!
Always loved this song.
Can see some 'historic' places in the background here JB Scotts, EBA? and the QE2 when it was still a hamburger stand. Pretty cool. I remember being so young and thinking they were a cool punk band then I saw stuff like Capitle and the Verge and was scared for a bit. And whoever did that Lark Street song because the bus from Latham Circle Mall dropped me off at the armory and I was sure a bunch of heroin shooting punks were going to rob me because of that song.
I don't understand why people call this punk.
Love and miss these guys-
I wish I was alive to witness the 80s... they seem like such fun times filled with high pants and long hair dos and lots and lots of ZINC :P
This brings me back so much! Totally awesome! Also worth a look: Peaches by The Stranglers
I remember in the 80's where they did a PSA for the Schenectady County Library. It was appropriately crazy with the band borrowing art from the library which I guess was a thing at the time.
John DeBella used to play this on his Morning Zoo like 8 thousand years ago. Ahhh just like yesterday,lol. Why Right Guard deodorant never picked this up as a jingle is beyond me.
I asked three lifeguards recently if they heard of them. All said no! Saw them live at U of Penn in Philly about 1981.
Aah yes, early novelty hit of a then new MTV. This song and "When Things Go Wrong" by Robin Lane & The Chartbusters seem to be forgotten hits of early 80s MTV.
Memories of Spring Break,Daytona Beach.
Greatest. Mullet. Ever.
I come here to this site regularly because this video takes Me back to the very first and the very earliest days of MTV
RIP Sarge Blotto.
(1980) Heard this song all the time at Maximus jn New City, NY. The guys in the band were from one of the SUNY Schools. I think I may have seen them live there once, but I can't be 100% sure. This wa right up there with "Rock Lobster" that Summer!
My mom knew one of the guys also. He used to come to our apt in NYC. He had been in a touring bluegrass band called Starspangled Washboard Band. Wish I could remember his name. Very funny guy .
SO SUE ME - I LOVE BLOTTO !!
2022 and this song still rocks
Popped into my head in 2023. Had to give it a listen!❤
I got u
This is better than I remember it!!!! ❤🎉😅
"Ay i ay wanna guard your life." Is that a threat?
Sweaty socks ? 🧦 its the beach takem off!! Lol I thought this was an 80s song, what do I know the 80s was a black out 🤪
At this point in the song/video, the protagonist is a shoe salesman, and not a lifeguard. In addition, the sweaty socks belong to a patron, not the protagonist himself. I hope this resolves any lingering issues.
I saw Blotto on Long Island. They were really good.
Blotto= life in the 80’s
This just popped into my head in 2021/2020.. probably heard it on Dr. Demento in the 80s....
This video is very intertaining.
Interesting tho funny creativity that's what's missing on Radio Stations and so much stuff over history rare define indeed MTV August this Video number 36 shot Blotto even strange band names u get that but that's cool coming across thru the researches thank u internet the World can enjoy to be blessed and part of the greatest decade of all time never to forget miss it so much oh hail the 80s
I saw this group in 79 at the Cus from Ho in Paramus NJ!
One of the guys is a dead-ringer for Donnie Iris. I miss these days. Life was so much easier!
Yeah Bowtie does look like Iris. Lol
this song could easily be a theme song for a sitcom. But I still love it!
We are the Nowtones