WHY IS OUR EMPEROR IN JERUSALEM? | Crusader Kings 3

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  • Опубліковано 21 гру 2024

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  • @RimmyDownunder
    @RimmyDownunder  10 місяців тому +253

    The Lil Rimmy Plushie will be available for purchase soon, and you can sign up for one of the three giveaway plushies right here, there's just six days to sign up!: rimmy.youtooz.com/
    You can also find the plushie as an ArmA 3 mod: steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=3154412429

    • @razelcanukbacon1160
      @razelcanukbacon1160 10 місяців тому +5

      hey dont know if it was just me but youtube didnt show me you had uploaded. This is the first time youtube hasent showed me one of your videos. Love your vids btw

    • @faffy2632
      @faffy2632 10 місяців тому

      ​@@razelcanukbacon1160same happened to me

    • @carlod5818
      @carlod5818 10 місяців тому

      dont let him have the copper, we are moving towards a critical shortage
      NOT THE COPPER

  • @lianxia1111
    @lianxia1111 10 місяців тому +1859

    “All of this for one more gem on my head” is a pretty good description for most things in history.

    • @samfire3067
      @samfire3067 10 місяців тому +24

      Og Rome: Just one more province

    • @TheNapster153
      @TheNapster153 9 місяців тому +13

      Such a good concept, not even Tolkien bothered to change the script.
      Apart from the fact Melkor did in fact got the platinum achievement.

    • @samiamrg7
      @samiamrg7 2 місяці тому +3

      Often times, it would be “All of this for… Crushing war debt even though I won.”

  • @jakeking974
    @jakeking974 10 місяців тому +1008

    >daughter dies
    >attends party
    "So sorry to hear of your lass, me lord"
    "The who? OH, RIGHT! Eh, she's in a better place. Probably."

    • @TheSchultinator
      @TheSchultinator 10 місяців тому +79

      Given how everything went down, it's definitely a better place

  • @bulldowozer5858
    @bulldowozer5858 10 місяців тому +742

    *Pulls out comically large pilgrimage*

  • @Predator20357
    @Predator20357 10 місяців тому +1259

    Spoilers:
    The mental thought of this dude with like a “Birthday Boy” party crown, running away from a mob of angry kings and lieges to go to Jerusalem to escape the revolt is just hilarious.

    • @randomintrovertedspider7510
      @randomintrovertedspider7510 10 місяців тому +227

      Imagine the Muslims watching several thousand soldiers land on the shores of the Holy Land, thinking it's another crusade, only to find out they're just chasing their emperor, who they're pissed off at.

    • @samfire3067
      @samfire3067 10 місяців тому +54

      I am impresseded none of then tried to kill the emperor.

    • @CaptainFirespitter
      @CaptainFirespitter 10 місяців тому +49

      Just insert Captain Jack Sparrow running away from the tribesmen and you’ve got this scene nailed completely!!! 🤣🤣🤣

    • @JoshSweetvale
      @JoshSweetvale 9 місяців тому +15

      You never go full Marc Antony.

  • @thecombatwombat7652
    @thecombatwombat7652 10 місяців тому +711

    King Wladislav: I HAVE FOUGHT AND BLED FOR THE KINGDOM OF HUNGARY AND I RECEIVED NOTHING *starts having a heart attack*
    The Emperor: *doesn't notice* Yes, yes, I have heard your complaints and as soon as I can revoke those claims from the rapid dogs in Hungary...
    Wladislav: *falls over and dies*
    Harald: *walks over slowly* Soooooo... does that make me king now?

  • @BaronVonMott
    @BaronVonMott 10 місяців тому +412

    * *4th Imperial Pilgrimage to Jerusalem starts, admits a horrendous civil war* *
    Electors: "He can't keep getting away with this!"

  • @lucassundwall6639
    @lucassundwall6639 10 місяців тому +770

    "My daughter just died."
    *Laughter ensues*
    "Well, just make a new one" - every CK3 play through ever

  • @mechs_with_hands
    @mechs_with_hands 10 місяців тому +440

    Rimmy: My lord, there are Poles on the outskirts of Prague.
    Birthday Boy: Worry not, I'm sure my regent will handle it.

    • @aaroncabatingan5238
      @aaroncabatingan5238 10 місяців тому +34

      My lord, your regent.
      Your regent could not mobilize enough men. He wasn't able to carry out his assault

    • @John-qv5ux
      @John-qv5ux 10 місяців тому +19

      @@aaroncabatingan5238 Why am I imagining this as some kind of Medieval retelling of Der Untergang?

    • @jaredjosephsongheng372
      @jaredjosephsongheng372 2 місяці тому +2

      ​@@aaroncabatingan5238
      *Das war ein befehl!*

  • @herusolares5320
    @herusolares5320 10 місяців тому +628

    the HRE dream: Gathering garden hermits like they're lawn gnomes.

  • @TheLumenor
    @TheLumenor 10 місяців тому +250

    "WHERE ARE YOU GOING? IS THAT JERUSALUM!!!!" Is by far my favorite part of this video.

  • @Ozzystrayroo
    @Ozzystrayroo 10 місяців тому +1218

    "Is it time to make the family tree into a family circle, daddy?"
    "Behave, daughter. This is a special birthday event."

    • @mikiczm3248
      @mikiczm3248 10 місяців тому +1

      Kinky

    • @TheVeryLastLardeen
      @TheVeryLastLardeen 10 місяців тому +131

      The family tree is just a recycling logo

    • @UnknownOps
      @UnknownOps 10 місяців тому +24

      The family tree is a fucking ladder at this point.

  • @PhoenixT70
    @PhoenixT70 10 місяців тому +338

    "Why is there a five-year cooldown?!" is not a question I ever expected to hear in regards to self-die, but Rimmy and company have achieved that this day.

  • @janhornak5739
    @janhornak5739 10 місяців тому +492

    Rimmy playing as Bohemians? Man, those legionaires got him good.

    • @O5-hans
      @O5-hans 10 місяців тому +74

      The Czech propaganda is working hehehehehehahahahahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAA

    • @hussites619
      @hussites619 9 місяців тому +5

      You can't stop the Czechs

    • @janhornak5739
      @janhornak5739 9 місяців тому +2

      @@hussites619 hell yeah

  • @heinzlilio4612
    @heinzlilio4612 10 місяців тому +156

    Heinrich: Goes on a speech on how he will compensate the King of Bohemia for his efforts
    Vratislav: Dies of boredom

  • @Hollow-Eyes
    @Hollow-Eyes 10 місяців тому +167

    Trying to run an empire with several people is one of the funniest things you can do in this game.
    We also tend to use the Holy Roman Empire or the Mongolians. I too once lost my territory, but I got banished to Ireland, before getting conquered and vassalized by england.
    I then managed to marry my way into the english royal family. After a large and complicated assasination plot, I finally took over England and then swore fealty to the Holy Roman Empire.
    Meanwhile my friends were crusading for Jerusalem and one of them somehow ended up in India while another somehow converted Egypt to Catholism. What was our glorious emporer doing? He created a new nudist faith which sent us in into death spiral as we fought a giant civil war which ended in a two thirds of the empire dissapearing.

  • @ToxyTheGachaAnimatronic
    @ToxyTheGachaAnimatronic 10 місяців тому +80

    My mental image is just a siege of the castle and one of the advisors walks out and tells the troops that the king is on holiday in the Holy Land and they just look at each other and just sat there waiting for the king to come back into the castle so they can siege it again

  • @crawler6019
    @crawler6019 9 місяців тому +28

    4:05
    Sam: "I'm pregnant!"
    Rimmy: "Thanks... what???"
    NGL. That exchange killed me

  • @stephenlucas8836
    @stephenlucas8836 10 місяців тому +45

    9:26 "Bohemian and Italian as one. White and Mediterranean Together."

  • @TheLeninTrain
    @TheLeninTrain 10 місяців тому +180

    Side note on the Grand Master of the Order of Malta and the siege of the island :
    1) Jean Parisot de Valette's spy network told him the Ottomans were coming, the man didn't even doubt the info; he just started levying taxes, men and finished building forts
    2) The man was almost 70 during the siege of Malta... that's double the life expectancy of the average person in 1565.
    3) He had about 6,000 men to fight (including the local population of Malta which was about 3,000) and he beat the 40,000 strong Ottoman army.
    4) The citizens were so panicked that he basically went "well if these old bones of mine can fight, so can you".
    5) Because if him, the Ottomans lost 20-35k men and decided to call it a day.
    6) The Ottomans wanted Malta as a staging ground to go invade Sicily and and then the Kingdom of Naples.
    So yeah... the Order of Malta saved Medieval Europe.

    • @AGrumpyPanda
      @AGrumpyPanda 10 місяців тому +30

      With some help from 8-10'000 spaniards coming to relieve them, the threat of which caused increasing desperation in the Ottoman forces to the point that by the time they actually arrived the Ottomans just gave up and went home. Not denying that Valette and the Hospitallers won a victory that nobody expected, and that they put up one of the biggest challenges to Ottoman supremacy that the world had seen yet.

    • @TheLeninTrain
      @TheLeninTrain 10 місяців тому +29

      @@AGrumpyPanda Spaniards: ALRIGHT WE'RE HERE FOR A FIGHT ¿DONDE ESTAN?
      de Valette: They are leaving Señor.
      Ottomans: Yeah, this is too much effort. Keep your damned island 😤

  • @Peptuck
    @Peptuck 10 місяців тому +101

    Rimmy's daughter dying: burnt egg.
    Sam coming to visit: meth ice cream.

    • @amuroray.1690
      @amuroray.1690 10 місяців тому +2

      Funnily enough this reminds me of that one video of the zombie game where burnt food would give you severe depression?

    • @Peptuck
      @Peptuck 10 місяців тому

      yeah, that's what i was referencing.@@amuroray.1690

  • @British-Imperator
    @British-Imperator 10 місяців тому +55

    Interesting tidbit, the Knights Hospitaller still exist. The Order of the Knights Hospitallers of Malta and Rhodes is still a sovreign nation with land in Rome.

  • @ad_astra5
    @ad_astra5 10 місяців тому +115

    The legend of count cadulto to and his comically large spoon lives on

    • @commander0.087
      @commander0.087 10 місяців тому +5

      COUNT CADULTO!

    • @crasterlongshanks4284
      @crasterlongshanks4284 10 місяців тому

      Count Cadulto the fornicator will not be named in the court of our mighty emperor, Jair Bolsonaro

  • @bahumat9853
    @bahumat9853 10 місяців тому +54

    The Editor is based and loredumped so much in the space of a single second about a really cool part of the Christian Holy Orders.

  • @lucassundwall6639
    @lucassundwall6639 10 місяців тому +108

    Sam's the MVP of this episode purely for lying on his back.

  • @Capum5
    @Capum5 10 місяців тому +46

    I was totally thinking that last line would've been "If you can't beat 'em...take a trip to the holy land on your special day."
    God this entire video was hilarious.

  • @ulric8445
    @ulric8445 10 місяців тому +27

    Jesus Sam’s empress had more than that dawg in her, she had a whole legion in her womb

  • @stephenlucas8836
    @stephenlucas8836 10 місяців тому +10

    11:52 “I am now the king of Denmark.”
    Clarify: “Directly boarding the king of Denmark”

  • @lewissmith6350
    @lewissmith6350 10 місяців тому +11

    Rimmy: Ten years you've been king and not once have you given me territory
    Warpugss: Sorry I can't talk I'm in Jerusalem

  • @joshuadarrow
    @joshuadarrow 10 місяців тому +12

    "My Liege, they jumping me."

  • @theinternetshavecome1640
    @theinternetshavecome1640 10 місяців тому +12

    Their commitment to dusting roleplaying on what they were doing already is what takes this vid from good to glorious.

  • @thegeneralmitch
    @thegeneralmitch 10 місяців тому +30

    We're at war on multiple fronts my lord!
    Declare a feast and demand all my generals attend!

  • @WhopperJrNoCheese
    @WhopperJrNoCheese 10 місяців тому +7

    “There is nothing you can do to stop me…” Famous last words.

  • @pieceofschmidtgamer
    @pieceofschmidtgamer 10 місяців тому +38

    Rimmy is our adorable little boy from the Land of Oz.

  • @aidanfarnan4683
    @aidanfarnan4683 10 місяців тому +10

    "This is the last pilgrimage before we invade Poland..." is such a cursed yet historical comment.

  • @jakeking974
    @jakeking974 10 місяців тому +12

    Ah, yes, the divine artifact, the Body of Saint Rimulus, Patron Saint of the Down Under, He Who Walks With Ushanka, The ARMAnnointed One.

  • @stixusardarach2625
    @stixusardarach2625 10 місяців тому +38

    Yay, a new Rimmy CK3 video!

  • @RepChris
    @RepChris 10 місяців тому +5

    18:35 Fun fact: the knights hospitaler (To be precise the Malteser Order, and the Order of Saint John (roman-catholic and protestant respectively)) run a lot of the ambulances in Germany

    • @RepChris
      @RepChris 10 місяців тому

      The Order of Saint John (also referred to as the Johanniterorden), or the full name: Bailiwick of Brandenburg of the Chivalric Order of Saint John of the Hospital at Jerusalem
      have some really funny ranks, "Knight of Honor" and "Knight of Justice"

  • @connordlthegamer2980
    @connordlthegamer2980 10 місяців тому +6

    the duke of lesser poland watching as tsar heinrich parts the adriatic sea to escape to the holy land

  • @AJ-pt7bo
    @AJ-pt7bo 10 місяців тому +12

    I literally downloaded CK3 earlier today and did almost everything Rimmy did in this video by pure chance just to go on UA-cam and see this

  • @billybob7653
    @billybob7653 10 місяців тому +26

    Rimmy learning about the Chads hospitaller is what I’m here for

  • @teamchaos5101
    @teamchaos5101 10 місяців тому +87

    Glad to see Rimmy collabing with Gawr Gura

    • @dangerdean9066
      @dangerdean9066 10 місяців тому +3

      I wonder why Gura was on the thumnbnail

  • @stephenlucas8836
    @stephenlucas8836 10 місяців тому +4

    4:01
    Remmy: “otz why are you called Denmark?”
    Otz: “ooo… there can only be one of us.”
    Sounds most historical war justification reason I heard.
    11:52 Then “I am now the king of Denmark.”
    Clarify: “Directly boarding the king of Denmark”
    Some search through the history books about some guy changing his lands name to take a bigger nation.

  • @hissboomcreeperalt1020
    @hissboomcreeperalt1020 10 місяців тому +9

    "My daughter just died..."
    *cue hysterical laughter*

  • @g3arjammer837
    @g3arjammer837 10 місяців тому +15

    Missed you playing this game, was rewatching the older videos yesterday

  • @Billzor991
    @Billzor991 10 місяців тому +1

    Rimmy this is probably one of my favorite videos you've done with the other guys. I don't know why but this was just an absolute blast to watch.

  • @kingcrafteroderderfahradtu7331
    @kingcrafteroderderfahradtu7331 10 місяців тому +2

    18:25 I just looked at bohemias borders. Surprisingly accurate

  • @Keranite
    @Keranite 10 місяців тому +5

    holy shit a multiplayer CK3 game that's a 25 minute video?? what a great gift
    okay immediate banger

  • @scifimisc9191
    @scifimisc9191 10 місяців тому +8

    TIL Sabaton are missing a song. Theyve got one for 40 years before the great battle of Malta, and one for not that long after it, but no actual song for the knights hospitaller

  • @gabrielwojniusz1993
    @gabrielwojniusz1993 10 місяців тому +28

    17:24 Arab D-Day

  • @mixednarwhal
    @mixednarwhal 10 місяців тому +40

    Is anyone else not finding this video in their subscription feed and instead are finding it on the UA-cam home page?

    • @allknowingidiot1835
      @allknowingidiot1835 10 місяців тому +1

      Same here. Was gonna comment as well but you beat me to it

    • @drakeironshield7932
      @drakeironshield7932 10 місяців тому +3

      Yeah ... pretty annoyed about this

    • @mixednarwhal
      @mixednarwhal 10 місяців тому

      @@drakeironshield7932 On mobile you can select a channel you are subscribed to at the top and have all of their videos sorted from newest first. When selecting Rimmy’s channel the video will pop up but when you deselect the channel it will revert to all channels and weirdly still won’t show it even though it just registered it was there.

    • @tusken9669
      @tusken9669 10 місяців тому +9

      I sure love youtube giving me notifications for videos I've already seen a couple days ago while pretending they got uploaded hours ago, meanwhile this got ignored

    • @alfakillr
      @alfakillr 10 місяців тому +4

      Same here. Unsubscribing and resubscribing doesn't make it appear either, so is UA-cam filtering the video somehow?

  • @vicentegodoy5493
    @vicentegodoy5493 10 місяців тому +7

    2:05 he is going in the jar

  • @CStone-xn4oy
    @CStone-xn4oy 10 місяців тому +3

    This video has so many reasons for why CK3 is my favorite game of all time.

  • @lukes244
    @lukes244 10 місяців тому +2

    I need you to play more multiplayer ck3 so much, i love the game and with the shit your groups get up to its even better.

  • @MeonLights
    @MeonLights 3 місяці тому +1

    I just imagine the Emperor running around in those "here comes a special boy" shoes xD
    Plus, ask the historical Duchess Matilda about the dog. I think the players are innocent this time.

  • @ferpman2179
    @ferpman2179 10 місяців тому +5

    thanks youtube for not showing this in my subscription feed very cool youtube great website you got here

  • @syrusalder7795
    @syrusalder7795 10 місяців тому +1

    I love putting these videos on the background while i play games

  • @fashionsoulsonlysouls5575
    @fashionsoulsonlysouls5575 10 місяців тому +2

    this is like if Charles the second survived and actually ran the country

  • @givemeawand
    @givemeawand 10 місяців тому +3

    I love it when Rimmy does CK3

  • @hermes931
    @hermes931 3 місяці тому +1

    20:35 a small breakdown

  • @GrippyClips
    @GrippyClips 10 місяців тому +1

    this is hilarious, I love your group of friends.

  • @aldrinmilespartosa1578
    @aldrinmilespartosa1578 27 днів тому

    "I will back soon"
    "NO YOU DONT"
    Im dead lol

  • @coldheartedreaper
    @coldheartedreaper 5 місяців тому

    Floridians: y'all wanna see a hurricane I'll show you a goddamn hurricane hold my fuckin beer

  • @mitchmitting102
    @mitchmitting102 10 місяців тому +3

    Rimmy, thought I'd say, but I didn't get a notification for this vid despite being subbed and have notifications on

  • @antitroller101
    @antitroller101 10 місяців тому +1

    This is a pretty spot on depiction of being a noble in the Holy Roman Empire, or as I like to call it; the Unholy Cluster Fuck -_-

  • @michaelselph3530
    @michaelselph3530 10 місяців тому +1

    Another CK3 video from Rimmy?! Christmas came early

  • @guesstime6445
    @guesstime6445 10 місяців тому

    18:35 accordly to Wikipedia there still around to this day. I guess they faired better than the Knights Templar.

  • @inasapostle13thapostleofthe12
    @inasapostle13thapostleofthe12 10 місяців тому +5

    Huh.... UA-cam legit refused to show me this in my subscription tab.......

  • @GaldirEonai
    @GaldirEonai 10 місяців тому +1

    A massive brawl in Floridsdorf? Sounds about right...

  • @tehwhaffle3088
    @tehwhaffle3088 10 місяців тому +1

    I nearly died laughing to this video. fucking amazing antics as usual!

  • @LordofLandfill
    @LordofLandfill 10 місяців тому +4

    I’ve never been to a video this quickly.

  • @MozzDef
    @MozzDef 10 місяців тому

    Im lifting while watching, i will giggle and drop my dumbell on my self.

  • @Dal-mm5km
    @Dal-mm5km 10 місяців тому +1

    His special day is gonna start the crusader wars

  • @TomtheWonderDog
    @TomtheWonderDog 10 місяців тому +1

    Your empire was neither Most, nor Special, nor even a Boy.

  • @catgckool428
    @catgckool428 10 місяців тому +1

    I have you set to all for notifications yet I only found out about this video due to the recommended feed.

  • @epidemicsound
    @epidemicsound 10 місяців тому

    🎶 track? It’s *Sins of the Fathers* by *Deskant* - and yes we are THRILLED to be your trusted provider.
    ua-cam.com/video/8J1aFB1S2x4/v-deo.html
    // Epidemic Sound

  • @DIEGhostfish
    @DIEGhostfish 10 місяців тому

    7:15 People PAY to pretend to be detectives!

  • @AlexanderTF
    @AlexanderTF 10 місяців тому

    Count Elek, count Elek, where is he, oh upsie he's dead ...

  • @Allen0wl
    @Allen0wl 10 місяців тому

    It been awhile, the king has returned

  • @HyperK7
    @HyperK7 10 місяців тому

    I’m fiercely disappointed that Rimmy did not bring back the religion of Tomboy Supremacy in this playthrough.

  • @imlivinginyourceiling
    @imlivinginyourceiling 10 місяців тому

    this is the type of video paradox would PAY someone to make

  • @PartiallyLoyal
    @PartiallyLoyal 10 місяців тому

    This is the funniest Rimmy video in millennia

  • @DocsLenses
    @DocsLenses 10 місяців тому

    Hell yeah more CK3 from Rimmy!!!

  • @maxpieper2290
    @maxpieper2290 10 місяців тому

    This vid didn't show up in my subscriptions page, weird. Anyways, always good to see more ck!

  • @thecreeker1917
    @thecreeker1917 10 місяців тому +2

    Best merch plug I seen in awhile!

  • @tomaszskowronski1406
    @tomaszskowronski1406 10 місяців тому +2

    14:56 Please don't. Sincerily, Poland.
    Also, have you considered playing the Crusader Blade style of campaign? As in that mod that merges CK3 and Bannerlord. You could actually fight your silly battles in person. Or does it not work with Coop? frankly, i don't know

  • @vicentegodoy5493
    @vicentegodoy5493 10 місяців тому +1

    4:05 he pulled the pregnancy card THIS early in the date???

  • @PSIRockOmega
    @PSIRockOmega 10 місяців тому

    Duuuuuuude, can we get more of this?

  • @stevenastillero9599
    @stevenastillero9599 10 місяців тому

    I have little to no idea what was going on but I laughed so much that it hurts. Thank you but also no thank you, XD.

  • @danteglory95
    @danteglory95 10 місяців тому +2

    Why let a little Civil War get in the way of a good pilgrimage?

  • @FollowerOfTheProphet
    @FollowerOfTheProphet 10 місяців тому

    Ah yes the Crusades🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 Did you know i was the King!

  • @fabriziocossio
    @fabriziocossio 10 місяців тому +1

    Seeing this stream love was the best stuff ever
    Yoi guys play more CK3 together
    Maybe as the seljuk empire next time?

  • @xtxownage
    @xtxownage 10 місяців тому

    accurate that he likes copper, seeing most of Australia's cables are copper.

  • @minibotas9496
    @minibotas9496 10 місяців тому

    I wish stellaris had a similar level of politics, this was so fucking funny

  • @elcazador3349
    @elcazador3349 10 місяців тому

    Most competent Holy Roman Emperor:

  • @YTDariuS-my6dg
    @YTDariuS-my6dg 10 місяців тому

    God CK3 is so fucking confusing I didn't even understand a damn thing when I tried to play it. Massive props to Rimmy and co. I'll just stick to my copy of Total Warhammer II procured from the "Bleak Coast Buccaneers"

  • @redlinemusic1608
    @redlinemusic1608 10 місяців тому

    This video is not in my subscriptions tab nor under the bell icon, how weird

  • @PrimarisBlackTemplaDraven
    @PrimarisBlackTemplaDraven 10 місяців тому +1

    I was hoping they bring back the Broken men.

  • @Cooli167
    @Cooli167 3 місяці тому

    I hope yall play the next DLC. Its looking good for shennanigans

  • @saltycoffee8106
    @saltycoffee8106 10 місяців тому +2

    Laughed throughout the video 5/5