the things we regret of our wedding... |
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- Опубліковано 11 лют 2024
- As we celebrate another wedding anniversary, we wanted to share tips that we learnt from our own wedding!
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Much love,
John & Pat
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Our Socials:
John - / johnathanchua
Pat - / patrinathy
#johnpatcross
You guys reminded me of how my wedding was! We also split the costs half half. N gals, don’t fall into the trap of the Once in a lifetime thing. Like Pat says… there is a life to live after the wedding!
There’s going to be so many once in a lifetime that is more worth spending on after the wedding. Like travelling!!
- Pat
OMG!!! All your values are almost exactly the same as how we planned ours almost 2 years ago. Drew alot of comments at that time but I so agree and its so worth it in the end! Lots of Love and support to the couples out there that is facing this tradition and uphill climb. Thanks for sharing!
Love love love the advice!!❤❤❤ Totally agree with everything you guys shared
WOW to the number of times I nod my head in agreement.. the points you guys gave are like legit on point.. 🙌🏻
Yay!! Thank you!
- Pat
One advice…Decide as a couple what items you want to splurge on and what does not matter so much.
Like for us, photographer was important, we found a good one. Flowers were not important… got flower that is in the right colour can already.
I read some fb post from a couple that spent too much money on flowers and did not have budget left for the food so they were looking for cheap caterers….. 😅😅
another awesome vid.. can invite some friends to share their wedding regrets too lol.. there's something to learn from every couple's experience ♥️
Me too also regretting hosting a banquet. That was years ago. As long the couple is happy and enjoying each other company, marriage is a harmony between both families. Can always host a house gathering with friends to celebrate. Always do things together and plan early, and adapt to change as it comes.
Yes! I regret not keeping it small.
- Pat
Really love pat’s eyelashes here! It looks really good for her eye shape! And I totally agree with Pat! I also kinda regret doing the wedding banquet!!! Hahaha.
Why spend so much for other people / relatives u not close with to see your banquet !! 😂 Pat and John are really so cute tgt!!
Do one on honeymoon!!! N then maybe like a comparison of wedding expenditure to honeymoon! I mean We all have diff preferences in travels but just share u guys!
So good! Thank you for sharing :) any tips to share on how you only invite some relatives whom you are closer to but not the rest whom you don’t see/talk that often?
Give your parents a heads up on who you want to invite instead of asking them. Hahaha!
- Pat
YAY NEW VIDEOOOO
really luv Pat’s hair.. matches with Jon’s tee.
Good advice but wedding are also meant for parents’ face lah.. we also know don’t overspend and invite people you know. But hard. “Ai yor, you invite aunty Susan, how can don’t invite aunty Mary?”
Nevertheless good advice!
Pat your hair is really nice drop the haircare routine pleaseeee
Hello! This is me just stepping out of BeSalon. Hahahah! But on normal days, I am using kiehls olive oil shampoo and conditioner. And I mask my hair 2-3 times a week.
- Pat
there's a whole industry built around weddings right? i feel like many people are now just trying to keep up with the Jones (or Wongs). loving a lot of the advice you guys have John and Pat!
Part 2 pls!
As a wedding photographer, I also agree with 22:30 and 25:57. 😂
Guests attending Chinese wedding dinners essentially have to pay for their seats at the table, so to speak😂
it was a very good tipss tht i even want pat to be my future wedding planner😊 i need yall pov too, beside budget issuse, my most concerning issue is the money collected from banquet. Becos beside being chinese, Knowing my mom, she probably want me to give her tables so tht she can invites her friends to get money. I know some of my parents' friends growing up together with their children. but to invite more than those 4 families (their friends) i think she's asking a lot. What do you think?
You both are so cute! And thanks for sharing. I’m Singaporean and have lived overseas for more than a decade, but want to have my wedding in Singapore because that’s where all my relatives are… I didn’t realise how many traditions there were (dowry, sidianjing, parents keeping table angpows etc.) so this is great insight for planning!!
Hello! Start your own tradition! You might just save your cousins in their future weddings.
Pat
It happened at a recent wedding i attended, the couple was late 30s. No games but while the groom was talking, got random yamsengs from random uncles. As a guest, very weird
Right?! It’s like they don’t care.
me and my fiance have the same views as you. but how do we convince our traditional parents?
Resort to "trickery" and a little bit of compromise. Everything else is up to your imagination. New year new challenge ! Jiayou!
Tell them instead of asking them. Things get challenging when they think they have the power to decide. Support your case with your budget. 😁
- Pat
I got married with 30 guests. Everything DIY.
Wow! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
I need advice :( I’m an upcoming bride that is not excited about spending a ton of effort and money on a banquet as I didn’t grow up with money. But my parents care a lot about “face” and how my future in laws will view me if I choose not to have a banquet. They think emptying my bank account is worth it for such an event because it’s a “once in a lifetime “ matter. My husband to be is the only son, and his family would like a banquet. However, as regular office workers (our parents are not contributing financially), how do we finance a wedding in this economy?
Is it worth it for me to risk my future in laws wrath just to save all that cost? Will I regret starting my union on disagreements?
Hey Upcoming Bride,
First of all congratulations! I’m sorry your big day feels so stressful for you. There’s not much details but my based guess advice is to weigh whether which one is faster to recover from. Earning back the money or regaining the goodwill. But bear in mind that your husband’s opinion matters too because it’s also his parents.
Alternatively, you could consider a form of compromise by drastically downsizing your wedding banquet for just to accommodate family.
For us, we show hand to our parents and told them that we don’t have much money and since they aren’t contributing, we can only do something that is comfortable for our budget.
I’m sorry if it isn’t helpful. But you got this! ❤
- John
You know... I thought drinking soo much bbt would give me diabetes, turns out all I had to do was to watch John and Pat.
Looking for insulin sponsorship.
AWWWWW HAHAHAHAHA! Thank you 🥹
Pat
Algoooooooooooooooo
Omg the parents side Ang bao part is so relavent to our wedding too! 😆 that 2-3 tables Ang moh is sure gone. 🫠
And as a wedding videographer, all the tips are legit true! 😆 2nd March in is overrated. thanks guys for sharing the truth! 🫶
👍👍💛💛💚💚🧡🧡👍👍😊😊💙💙👍👍
I have a dilemma and would really be open to hearing some advice….
I really dislike most of my paternal side of the family, meaning my dad’s siblings and their respective families. For their lack of respect, lack of initiative and (what I feel is their) negative energy to others over the years.
But as the oldest child and knowing my dad, he would want to invite them to my wedding. However, I really despise the fact that I have to stomach their distasteful and unpleasant comments and opinions if they were to come. Not to mention the energy during that night 🥴
On the other hand, my maternal side of the family is much closer knitted, positive and rather kind to me over the years. Bonded closely since young. Without a doubt, they would be invited automatically.
But then again, this would show favouritism to only one side of the family tree, making it unfair to my dad.
I’ve also been considering keeping my wedding super low-key with a really small ceremony and celebration including some of my closest family and friends who would genuinely be happy for me and my spouse. I really don’t want to make it difficult for my parents and don’t want to regret my once-in-a-lifetime event too.
However, as the oldest child and daughter of a chinese family, your wedding ceremony is seen rather heavily in the eyes of the older generation. Their expectation is to throw the biggest wedding and invite everyone to come. As most would agree on, a wedding is for the parents’ face.
How should I approach this? Please share your advice and thoughts 🫶🏻
Hello. Your situation is tough man. But I’m also closer to my maternal than my paternal side. What I think I’ll do is to limit the number of people in one family to 2. This way, not all of them will one and might even appoint someone that you less dislike to attend. As for your maternal side, invite all 😂 doubt your paternal side will notice but even if they do, I will just let them grumble. As to how to pacify your parents, let them know there’s limited seats and you’ll like to make this event about you and your husband instead of them. Hope this works!! 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻
- Pat
Got married during covid. Invited only 20 physical guests but 300 guests via zoom. No banquet. No deco. Whew
You’re so lucky leh. We always envied Covid weddings.
- Pat
I’m gen X , my boomer parents don’t want dowry already. Hello new generation 😂what’s going on. Trash the old tradition.
Yea man what’s going on. I have friends whose parents are asking for $20k kind. It’s mad.
- Pat
Dowry?????????? For Chinese?!?!?!?! In 2000's?!?!?!?!? I've seen it all now. Crazy.