This is so true coming from a gay man. If he has stooped low enough to think he's getting away with bread crumbing you, he won't show any empathy or remorse about leading you on and doesn't give a flying sh*t about your feelings. So any energy and time you give this man will give him more of an opportunity for your plan to backfire. He doesn't deserve your time. NEXT!
All there is is breadcrumbs anymore because of online dating and the amount of choices. It takes real strength to constantly dump these guys. Even guys I’ve known from work who seemed to like me as soon as romance comes into the picture, they start to breadcrumb. Most men’s hearts are closed. I’ve been single for 13 years. Over and over again, it’s the same experience. You know pretty soon that he’s a breadcrumber, so it’s just learning to cut them off immediately and to give them nothing. And to learn to be okay alone, because that is how society is set up these days.
I agree the hard part is to cut them off when identified as breadcrumbers. It works for them, and they feed off this way because we women are confused and entertain them for too long. I also feel like bread crumbing connections is all that's available. Dating sites and apps are responsible for that. It has destroyed the value of a connection.
you are EXACTLY right ...guys would rather sit at home and have sex with a girl on the VIDEO screen than to have to take a girl out to a movie and dinner and treat her nicely in order to maybe get a kiss at the end of the night.....I was all alone for 13 years also because I would not deal with these guys....then I fell inlove with a guy and he has treated me horrible ...and ruined my self esteem for the past year......he has done every horrible thing possible and still I stood and took it because of my GREAT LOVE for him.......I don't deserve that kind of treatment....but I don't want to be alone for any more years.....I am in my 50's and time is running out for me......maybe it already ran out..??? who knows
I don’t want to participate in the ghosting culture and part of my growth is speaking my truth. So with a breadcrumbing lately, I just say something like, “I’m looking for more consistency in my romantic connections and I don’t think we’re on the same page.” I wish them well. Thanks for your videos Jack, really appreciate your perspective :)
Meaning if someone only responds to your messages after 3 hours you are going to start deliberately clockwatching before you respond. Thats a really big effort. Loss them
"I'm an adult. I don't need to really be afraid of being abandoned anymore". A wow moment for me, Jack. I have been using Fear of Abandonment as a crutch to explain my anxiety to a guy when really I need to work on myself like your advice states. Thank you.
I know that part really got me too I got emotional when he said that. I need to work on my fears and not let it hold me back from having a healthy relationship.
Hey Jack! I had the experience of being breadcrumbed recently. I saw it within a couple of weeks and once I realised that was what was happening I ended the connection. He asked me did he do something wrong and I said no I’m just moving my priorities elsewhere. It made me think he didn’t do something wrong, it was me who did something right, for myself. It was so empowering and I didn’t take it personally. It makes such a difference coming from a non attached place and just observe what someone brings to the table. Great video as always 😃
@@thejackbutler it is kind of naive and shows that you don't truly understand the mathematical proportions of breadcrumbing or ghosting abuse. This unacceptable behavior has become the standard for breaking up with women even after years! U talk like it has only been happening during early dating phases. By the way,, this is how Charlie Sheen treats his prostitutes- he pays them just to leave when he is done with them, that's right, he doesn't pay them for sex, he pays them to be okay with ghosting.. All men have been doing this for 99% of the "not right relationships," and will suddenly have ethics on the 1% of women he takes seriously??? No, majority of women do NOT do this, so u truly can't perceive the ratio long term suffering. So basically, even if u find the right guy, he is still the "type of guy" who doesn't have ethics, just bcz he temporarily stops the behavior for who he perceives is the right person for him, at that moment. How many ppl are not right for us? That's right, a lot. So if every man does this every time it should be appropriate time to actually break up, why suffer over and over again? It isn't worth the abuse. You sound like u are justifying the demise of community values
I texted my bread crumber “I’m so hungry today! Do you have any crumbs for me today?” 😂 He was like WHAT? I said I was so hungry and just hoping for a few tiny crumbs today. 😂😂😂. It took me a month to realize I hadn’t gotten any crumbs in awhile.
No anger just hooked on the dopamine & connection created whenever he calls. So inlove w the idea of him & the fantasy of being together... despite the reality & despite knowing he pursues others
My breadcrumber was also a narcissist, it went on for 3 1/2 years, hot- cold, Jeckel and Hyde, push pull, gaslighting, manipulation. Pathological lying, cheating, I was perfect one day, next he couldn't be bothered talking to me, so my head got messed up badly, don't think normal breadcrumbers go at it for that long.
Same exact scenario.. 3 1/2 years? The communication & connection is /was undeniable. He came from a nasty divorce & child custody battle. Trust issues,jaded love,,not wanting to expose his vulnerability to the connection. I took that risk going into the connection.. I get the runner/ chaser scenario. After 3 yrs and he disappears with no explanation? I still believe he is the one but has past emotional baggage and work to do on himself. It hurts regardless because we have a deep connection..but I know my worth and will move forward and focus on myself with the hope that we will reunite into a more balanced relationship. He is worthy of my unconditional love & understanding. Why? because I was where he is at a few years ago. It takes alot of time, self love & healing to open your heart again. There's a 10 year age difference I'm 54 hes 44. Still hurts to let him go..but I truly believe if it's meant to be he will come back corrected and a better version of himself. Love & light to all.💞😇🙏
Jack is talking about your regular breadcruming/ghosting dude. What you experienced is narcissistic abuse that can lead to lifelong trauma and stored stress. Please seek professional help.
I'm getting really good at saying to guys I'm interested in a more frequent type of communication and moving on fast when a guy shows up as a breadcrummer. Unfortunately, most guys seem to behave like this, but I know there are other guys out there willing to invest in a real relationship. I'm feeling empowered :)
I love your approach of "my guy" or "NOT my guy" it has really helped me on my quest to find sobriety and I think I'm getting better at realising a guy is not my guy sooner rather than later and not getting hurt when a guy is not my guy. Thank you for your work and for putting your message out in the world
@@thejackbutler I get the impression that some guys initiate a conversation or respond to a contact on a dating site when they are not even really interested and they are doing it half-heartedly. I used to feel really confused about this, but now I think they are not even aware of what they want and what they are doing... Do you think this is true? A lot of guys just mindlessly try to connect with women even when they don't really have much interest in them? I know in the end what matters is that this is not the right kind of guy for me, but I find it important to understand what I might encounter, so that I don't get stuck in a bad situation. It has taken me a few years of bad experiences to get enough understanding of the patterns of behaviour some men can have, because I'm so different...
@@patriciaearley4177 I lucked out... I was going to move 400 miles away to restart my business and I got out in the luck of time... and Thank you! Good Luck to you too!!
I think we feel bitter when breadcrumbed because there is an impression of getting scammed somehow. We had a connection with another person, we were really compatible and it felt mutual and then they decided “you know what? This doesn’t mean anything, i can do better”. The question I have is how to tell in advance if a person will be a breadcrumber or a ghoster? Majority of B guys pretend they are A guys, lose your time, energy, get close to you, share their personal stuff, act friendly, and then disappear. I don’t want to be vulnerable with people who don’t deserve it. I lose too much energy on every person like that to jump back into dating scene right away after that happens. I treat romantic connection just as any other relationship. When it comes to friendships, for example, you just meet a person and you get along well and you have many things in common, so you keep talking. You won’t become friends right away, but you will keep in touch, because you’re both interested in communication. When it comes to a romantic thing I feel that whatever my impression is of that person it’s a lie because if we were on friendly terms, they would never disappear like that without giving a valid reason.
All I have to say is anyone who wants to be in your life will make sure they are. You are exactly right, they'll invest. I also believe we teach people how to treat us, by how much or how little we'll "accept." Only accept the best.
They won’t treat us better because we won’t be there anymore, but I always keep in mind there is another girl who will meet this guy and I don’t want him to treat her as he treated me. So maybe setting boundaries and walking away will teach him to appreciate the next person more.
If they treat you like a second option, just them off from your life and find someone who as actually interested. These people are wasting your time, your energy, and your happiness.
How to get even with a breadcrumber? 1. Don't take it personally. If you're my person i will not breadcrumb you. If i'm breadcrumbing you, you're not my person. This clarification creates freedom for me and you. The way to get even: listen to the deeper communication, take back your energy, refocus your life, do the heeling if necessary, and move on. Don't close your heart to the next connection (the heart is the organ of intimacy). 2. Realize you're not a victim of breadcrumbing. You co-created and participated in the experience of breadcrumbing. It confused you, because you might have thought you're on a different track. You are feeling abandoned, but not a victim of it. It will take some work on yourself, so you don't have fear of abandonment. (That is what it takes to not be a victim of it). Some men are breadcrumbers. That is life. You will just notice what you want to participate in, what kind of games you're willing to play. You will not be overly cautious, but notice what kind of guy is in front of you. How to get even: let him go, wish him well, be grateful. Get rid of the anger, if you need to. Process it. Focus on what's happening in you. A guy who's dating you only needs to reveal to you who he is. Either your guy or not your guy. Depersonalize it. Your work is to care less about a guy who doesn't care about you. If he doesn't care about you, about how the connection unfolds, that is just the reality of it. Most guys are not able to communicate it to you. Just focus on A- guys (the ones who are "your person"), and remove B-guys (everything else).
BEST video I’ve ever seen on breadcrumbing!!!! Thank you! Struggling with this right now. Now it’s not a struggle. He is a B not an A. I feel like my eyes are so open now thank you for being clear. I got it!!!🙏🏼
Perfect timing. Although the guy didn't bread crumb me, he blocked me on Facebook, after having an intimate conversation with me, saying I was like him and perfect, and taking an interest in me, then later saying he was busy and could speak to me the next day. I said I was busy and had to catch up with my work that day. So after I realised he block me, yes I was hurt and angry at the time, but I also realise he did me a huge favour and so I blocked him back, just in case he decided to unblock me. Then I saw this morning he read the last message he hadn't seen before he blocked me, so guessing he unblocked me again. I can't be doing with such childishness and I think he has work to do on himself before being in serious and committed relationship with someone. Either way, he had his chance and he is gone from my life and done me a favour. Better sooner he did this, than later.
Just letting u know, i did a test before and when u block someone and that person sends messages, and then u unblock them, you actually can’t see what they sent to you. And the other person will see that you seened the message when really it’s a facebook glitch
Yes most of the time we have responsibility also. Any relationship takes two and both have responsibility. HOWEVER, there are times that there is more fault on one side than the other. Manipulative people will say and do all the right things, make us 100% believe we are loved and cared for with no red flags whatsoever OR they were so slight that hardly anyone would've ever noticed (we can't be constantly picking apart everyone looking for red flags) in other words, sometimes some people are SO good at lying that there IS no warning. Then leave breadcrumb (which starts to dawn on you but should you immediately, hastily, preemptively dump someone ???) Usually you do spend a bit of time in confusion and then often eventually those types will disappear all together. My advice having recently been through this is to try to determine early on in a connection with someone how or if they'll discuss topics that are deeper in terms of getting to know each other. Often in the beginning stage of meeting someone and dating them we get too "happy" too quick and just focus on the fun and good feelings... The laughs, the physical attraction and the good times (which is all just hormones in us designed to distract us from reality!) Haha. But seriously it's important to distinguish all that from the real life circumstances and viability of a deeper connection and if they even have a willingness for a more serious relationship. Often yes, we end up playing ourselves and breaking our own hearts. HOWEVER, I still maintain its almost impossible for us humans to ever see anyone with 100% clarity. My friends tell me I'm very analytical and pick things apart and don't trust enough, or put my head over my heart a lot - and yet I've STILL been fooled! So how can you ever win??? My point is sometimes someone IS mostly to blame more than the other person. We can all try to logically determine how we may have contributed to the situation but some people are skilled manipulators who could fool the Lord himself.
Wow that’s exactly what am doing right now! I didn’t invest much early on even though I felt the connection was great but now that there is lack of consistency I know he’s not my guy and am actually ok with it. Keeping my heart open for Mr. Right :)
Especially tough to cope with hot and cold guys. 2 weeks ago he was looking for flats to rent together, three days after he shut down completely as he was not sure whether he wanted to be with me. I then packed my stuff and left. He added his cats are his mates. It hurts of course but I don’t want to hop on a rollercoaster. Thanks for the video, Jack!
"The best revenge is to let her keep him." (That quote can apply to so many situations.) Then I say, "Thank you," to whomever she/they may be and move on because now I understand better that he was obviously "not my guy". No one should be anyone's alphabet after A. It can be cruel and a waste of time except for the lesson learned. A very well clarified and motivating video on an all too common topic, Jack. Thank you.
This has been amazing, the perfect time and provided an insight into healing the hurt I was experiencing from being breadcrumbed. You tell it like it is! I'm a bit wobbly however have the understanding and courage to lean back, step away, say no to Mr B and being breadcrumbed. I now feel in my heart for the first time that it isn't about me. I'm no longer taking it personal which has been very healing in itself. I can admit the anger I felt towards him and am deeply grateful to him for the experience of being a cameo, a lesson in my life that has brought me closer to the woman I am meant to be to attract my Mr Right. Thank you Jack! You support so many of us with your work.
I heard this quote not sure if it came from you jack but it has stuck with me & it keeps me grounded , "A happy successful relationship was never paved with a path of bread crumbs " how true is that, ladies remember this & when you get nothing but bread crumbs, pave a new path
This video is super helpful. Went on a date with this guy and it was so good “communication, vibe” he even verbalized his interest in me .. but then communication was inconsistent so I feel like I should bring it to his attention first because I actually like him but im also not lingering around waiting for him to act right.. moving on... nexttt
Thank you Jack. I told the last guy (who was in and out....and then said he was confused and did not know how he felt about me .....after 10 months)...thank you for being honest with me. BUT he did NOT like that.....he wanted me to chase and pursue. I realize he was in his feminine (wounded masculine)...ridiculously good looking so probably used to ooodles of women begging him. Games.... The old me would have fallen for it.....but I felt empowered and KNEW he was not my guy early on...but did not want accept it....Appreciate you helping us. xo
You are so right . We are to easy to fall to victimhood. It only takes an experience with a breadcrumber to notice your worth. Sometimes it is very subtle and harder to define
I am going threw this with a guy for the 3rd year but am going out realizing that I let this man treat me badly for that long because I loved him. He’s cheated on me he’s talked so badly towards me I blame myself for taking his BS for so long, he ghostes me ignors me I lost our son of heart failure 😭 he wouldn’t even take 5 minutes to see his own son he was to busy with his cousin n her kid’s n just ignored me that day... after that I slowly stopped caring about him as he put me threw hell...a couple months ago I gave him another chance because he made fake promises of marriage n being with only me for the rest of our lives😔 bad mistake on my part as he just did me the same way now I feel nothing for him but disgust... but finally free of any feelings for him at all n I’m living my life n noticing other n better men interested in me something I never cared about because I was so stupidly trying to get him to care more for me what a joke he’s abusing using narssist... I’m now loving myself n talking to good guy’s maybe I’ll get my true love n a great guy after all...so done with the lieing,cheating,ghosting, non caring user
Recently out of a nine-year relationship with a breadcrumber… it was super helpful for me to hear “you’re not a victim - you were complicit”. You’re exactly right. I had a vague notion that I should be wary of breadcrumbers in the future but this brings it into sharp focus for me. It’s MY responsibility to accept that loving people harder won’t make them want me. Thank you!
@@thejackbutler Yes for sure! I'm nearly 50 but until recent therapy had never heard of attachment styles. I assumed everyone who was alone felt lonely, just like me. I assumed close, intimate connections were a source of safety and security for everyone, even if there was drama sometimes. I now see and understand that as someone who leans "anxious preoccupied", I'm naturally attracted to avoidants who prioritize my needs as much as I do (which is to say, "not much"). The trouble arises when I finally start to feel neglected, and then assuming it's because they aren't feeling loved enough by me. So, I 'love harder', hoping they'll eventually 'read my mind', and suddenly want to meet my needs as much as I want to meet theirs. Does it mirror anything in my past? Yes, it mirrors almost EVERY relationship in my past haha. I can't say I'll ever feel truly secure, but I'm slowly learning to recognize when my fears are irrational, and also to actively screen out people who are avoidant. As much as I'm attracted to them (and they to me), I just don't want to play "If only I was good enough!" anymore. I AM good enough, and the right person (possibly another AP?) will really appreciate me.
Omg this was perfect! I'm having a hard time fully letting go because I'm addicted to the chemistry, which is rare for me on that level. But ultimately he can't be my guy because he's not ready...this is all easier said than done when I can't date during covid
This video comes just in time 😁 just communicated with a breadcrummer yesterday.. when l rejected him, the only thing he said was 'ups' and 'you wrote too much, l can't answer you' 🙈 good riddance..
@@TheBeautifulShutin I think I have :) I feel a bit creped out by this response.. you could interpret this response as mocking, gaslighting, or deflection.. so crazy, considering he is a psychologist (I am a psychologist to be- 1 year left).
Hi Jack. Thank you for telling the harsh truth even though it really hurts when you realize that you’ve been breadcrumbed. 😢 I actually learned a lot about attachment styles on my path of healing and therefore even the breadcrumber who is possibly an avoidant has his issues maybe rooted in childhood that made him become this. But what I realized is that you can’t fix another person. They have to do their own healing work once they realize their pattern.
Yes. I am No ones victim. World is full of available man. What I focus i give my engery and power to. How about I give my energy to myself and I have been doing that and my mood has skyrocketed
Hi, so I just cut off my breadcrumber this afternoon. Started off as casual sex.The greatest sex ever. Honestly mindblowing. And when we did manage to meet everyting was perfect. We also connected on a personal level. Or so I thought. And so the inevitable happend. I fell for him. And after almost a year of sooooo much confusion on where we stand and why he always responds so vaguely via text and never has time for real conversations and regular meet ups, I quit. It was soooo hard because I was so addicted to him. My heart has been aching for 3 months, and I have been mentally working on it for ever and today I did it. I feel relieved. Thanks for reinforcing that I have made the right choice. It feels really good not to be waiting for a crumb of attention anymore!
Wow, Jack! One of your best videos in my opinion. Landed like a laser into my brain. I always used to take things like this so personally but the way you expressed it takes literally all of the sting out everything. You're so right - we show up and commit to those we're invested in and feel a strong connection to and those we don't, well we simply won't invest the time in hence the 'breadcrumbing'. In reality, if we simply choose to see it as how you described instead of attaching a meaning that leaves us beating ourselves up, we'd navigate through this terrain in a far healthier manner don't you think?
Great video! I’m able to get it becuz i’m finally at that stage where i’m able to see when a guy is breadcrumbing me. And it feels way more simple and empowering to move on when you can notice it immediately. I guess you have to endure a lot of pain before u hit the threshold point and eventually awakening. Love your videos and content! ♥️
Boom 💥 you’re consistently honest and straightforward with the advice! ♥️ It’s necessary to hear truth in order to take accountability and learn. Much love, thank you 🙏🏼 💕
😢 😢 😢 More than angry are the feelings destroyed it’s the pain .... and yeah.... trying to overcome that it’s difficult specially if u know that he is not a guy “A” but u still like him or feeling for him!! Thanks Jack.... u are doing an amazing job u have no idea how much your videos help ..... but iam stubborn and a hard head and now a hard heart and cold emotionally..... keep up the good job!
Jack Butler that’s the hard part. The hurt that remains, when you genuinely like/love somebody. It’s so important for a woman to be able to differentiate between loving someone and needing someone.
WOWW! I used to really say an ex was sprinkling bread crumbs here and there to keep me around and REFUSING to share me the WHOLE cake. These are some great healing tips and supportive terms. I've been through these phases with partners that indeed are breadcrumbers. We need to be supportive for those whom had hopes this may be "the one". Healing and learning to love yourself is the answer.
Jack Butler, your expressed insights, in my experience, are so much more dimensional, mature, and empowering than other relationship coaches. I love and feel so inspired by your intelligent, grounding, masculine perspective on this wild thing called love and intimacy! Subscribed.
You helped me get to a better place in my headspace today, was devastated last night from a man who just breadcrumbs me n broke my heart. I'm gonna heal n not give him power over my happiness, I'm just raw today but your video put things in perspective so I can move forward n get out of pain. Would love a live video w you oneday. Thankyou for your great words about breadvrumbers
In other words, there is no breadcrumbing. He’s just not that into you, and that’s his right. Not his right to string you along, though. But that’s on US to protect ourselves.
Wise words, but life is far from that simple. When you marry someone, build a life together, have kids and so on...and the breadcrumbing comes later. Or perhaps I only noticed later being so busy etc. I stayed in a marriage, as I think a lot of us do, because you don't want to break your kids hearts. Many years later, we finally broke up...and I'm left realising how I put my own happiness at the bottom of the list.
Thank! It all makes so much sense! I know why I sometimes accept breadcrumbs ... I am hungry for affection and love. After being single go 6 year, I realize yes I accept breadcrumbs cause it feels better than nothing 🤷🏼♀️ Yes you are right when you say we are not the victim! Sometimes it is easier to walk away than others. Lately I went back to one of the breadcrumbing guys cause I felt really lonely, I needed to feel arms around me, I needed to be kissed... it was 8 months without affection from a man. Yes I care about myself, yes I have esteem, yes I do love myself and value me... yet let’s be honest, feeling close to a warm body having sex is something I cannot give to myself. In fact cause I care about me and know my needs I went backbit him to fill that need of physical touch and closeness.... I took what I needed... Difference today, I don’t out hopes on it... I enjoy the crumbs while pursuing my life. Weird, isn’t it? I just need to watch out to not fall in he rabbit hole again. Damn, where is my man, he’s been hiding for over 6 years now.... hellooooo time to show up 😅
I am being breadcrumbed in a 7 years relationship, we were engaged at one point, I never know where we stand, I don't know if we are still engaged, I don't know anything, when I lose interest the person pledges love for me, I go back, and right after that it is an affective desert, and again and again. I feel like am going crazy.
Any tips on how to give up creating stories regarding making an A out a B? :-) Especially for anxious leaning people? How to stay sober as you mentioned in one of your webinars 😁 Great content as usually 🙏
Your best & hardest to hear, but most empowering video so far...in my humble opinion. Finally understanding this just today. Epic timing. 🙏🏼💗. Please make your seminar available @midnight or 1am EST if possible. I keep trying to sign up & missing it, but could listen during that time while I continue to sew masks.
You are so right! Ladies be greatful for the bread crumbers & those who ghost you. These men have shown you who they are and what you mean to them ( which isn't much) let's categorise these men from the A's to B's , recognize the difference and be thankful if they reveal which one they are early on. The B's aren't worth your time or emotional energy, don't take it personally. Just keep it moving
Thank you, just needed to hear that to rise again 🥰 I like your approach! Sometimes it is good to hear someone else vocalising what you already know deep down inside!!! You cannot change other people... you can just look in the mirror at yourself, learn, built yourself up and go on. Take care of yourselves 😍
Jack, wow, great take on the topic! I'll say.. what if we just stop to focus on men who (for whatever reason they may have, not our business) don't want to be our men, and work on building a healthy self-confidence instead? that would be something I'd like to hear you talk more about, here. because you are definitely very good at it, and because it's what's actually needed, too, isn't it in any case, thank you, once more! hugs
Ladies, just block them, do not invest one single second of your time to teach lessons to people that are not be benefits from it. Block them. Period.
Thank you, I did. Feel better. He deserves no sympathy or explanation
Easier said than done linda...😢
Im not able to block him,i loved this guy n we are like friends now
Facts I am the block queen!! Not dealing with cha
This is so true coming from a gay man. If he has stooped low enough to think he's getting away with bread crumbing you, he won't show any empathy or remorse about leading you on and doesn't give a flying sh*t about your feelings. So any energy and time you give this man will give him more of an opportunity for your plan to backfire. He doesn't deserve your time. NEXT!
Great!@@shaneharris7284
All there is is breadcrumbs anymore because of online dating and the amount of choices. It takes real strength to constantly dump these guys. Even guys I’ve known from work who seemed to like me as soon as romance comes into the picture, they start to breadcrumb. Most men’s hearts are closed. I’ve been single for 13 years. Over and over again, it’s the same experience. You know pretty soon that he’s a breadcrumber, so it’s just learning to cut them off immediately and to give them nothing. And to learn to be okay alone, because that is how society is set up these days.
tosca donna I hear you on the taking real strength piece, absolutely. Sounds like you’re doing good work with this 🙏
I agree the hard part is to cut them off when identified as breadcrumbers. It works for them, and they feed off this way because we women are confused and entertain them for too long.
I also feel like bread crumbing connections is all that's available. Dating sites and apps are responsible for that. It has destroyed the value of a connection.
you are EXACTLY right ...guys would rather sit at home and have sex with a girl on the VIDEO screen than to have to take a girl out to a movie and dinner and treat her nicely in order to maybe get a kiss at the end of the night.....I was all alone for 13 years also because I would not deal with these guys....then I fell inlove with a guy and he has treated me horrible ...and ruined my self esteem for the past year......he has done every horrible thing possible and still I stood and took it because of my GREAT LOVE for him.......I don't deserve that kind of treatment....but I don't want to be alone for any more years.....I am in my 50's and time is running out for me......maybe it already ran out..??? who knows
@@artsylady3187 exactly all I see anymore..men talking with tons of fake women who send pics an charge for videos.
Same I been single same amount of time. And I take no crap I will block u and be done next
I don’t want to participate in the ghosting culture and part of my growth is speaking my truth. So with a breadcrumbing lately, I just say something like, “I’m looking for more consistency in my romantic connections and I don’t think we’re on the same page.” I wish them well. Thanks for your videos Jack, really appreciate your perspective :)
The Beautiful Shut-in That’s a great succinct phrase 👍
This rocks.
I am borrowing your phrase
Exactly, life is too short to be dealing with toxic people.
I think there is a period of confusion ... but once you realize what is happening you know what to do. There is no reason to hold on to the butthead
These are awesome tips. I’ve learned not to take anything personal. I give people the same energy they give me 💕
JENNIFER OSEGUERA Awesome work
Mirroring
Careful not too waste much time mirroring while you could’ve moved along. Personal experience 🫶
Meaning if someone only responds to your messages after 3 hours you are going to start deliberately clockwatching before you respond. Thats a really big effort. Loss them
I would never breadcrumb a guy but I hope he meets someone develops feelings for them and she treats him the same way.
"I'm an adult. I don't need to really be afraid of being abandoned anymore". A wow moment for me, Jack. I have been using Fear of Abandonment as a crutch to explain my anxiety to a guy when really I need to work on myself like your advice states. Thank you.
Dawn Stanley Thanks for being open to that, simple but not easy!
That were 2 seconds of therapy my anxiously attached ass needed 😭
I know that part really got me too I got emotional when he said that. I need to work on my fears and not let it hold me back from having a healthy relationship.
Hey Jack! I had the experience of being breadcrumbed recently. I saw it within a couple of weeks and once I realised that was what was happening I ended the connection. He asked me did he do something wrong and I said no I’m just moving my priorities elsewhere. It made me think he didn’t do something wrong, it was me who did something right, for myself. It was so empowering and I didn’t take it personally. It makes such a difference coming from a non attached place and just observe what someone brings to the table. Great video as always 😃
Clo Ryan Thank you - I like the distinction between doing something right for you vs their doing something wrong 🙏
Great response Clo
@@thejackbutler it is kind of naive and shows that you don't truly understand the mathematical proportions of breadcrumbing or ghosting abuse. This unacceptable behavior has become the standard for breaking up with women even after years! U talk like it has only been happening during early dating phases. By the way,, this is how Charlie Sheen treats his prostitutes- he pays them just to leave when he is done with them, that's right, he doesn't pay them for sex, he pays them to be okay with ghosting.. All men have been doing this for 99% of the "not right relationships," and will suddenly have ethics on the 1% of women he takes seriously??? No, majority of women do NOT do this, so u truly can't perceive the ratio long term suffering. So basically, even if u find the right guy, he is still the "type of guy" who doesn't have ethics, just bcz he temporarily stops the behavior for who he perceives is the right person for him, at that moment. How many ppl are not right for us? That's right, a lot. So if every man does this every time it should be appropriate time to actually break up, why suffer over and over again? It isn't worth the abuse. You sound like u are justifying the demise of community values
Incredible that he isnt even aware...
I texted my bread crumber “I’m so hungry today! Do you have any crumbs for me today?” 😂 He was like WHAT? I said I was so hungry and just hoping for a few tiny crumbs today. 😂😂😂. It took me a month to realize I hadn’t gotten any crumbs in awhile.
😂😂😂😂😂😂 excellent....very witty n funny text😂😂
No anger just hooked on the dopamine & connection created whenever he calls. So inlove w the idea of him & the fantasy of being together... despite the reality & despite knowing he pursues others
Look up cognitive dissonance
My breadcrumber was also a narcissist, it went on for 3 1/2 years, hot- cold, Jeckel and Hyde, push pull, gaslighting, manipulation. Pathological lying, cheating, I was perfect one day, next he couldn't be bothered talking to me, so my head got messed up badly, don't think normal breadcrumbers go at it for that long.
Same exact scenario.. 3 1/2 years? The communication & connection is /was undeniable. He came from a nasty divorce & child custody battle. Trust issues,jaded love,,not wanting to expose his vulnerability to the connection. I took that risk going into the connection.. I get the runner/ chaser scenario. After 3 yrs and he disappears with no explanation? I still believe he is the one but has past emotional baggage and work to do on himself. It hurts regardless because we have a deep connection..but I know my worth and will move forward and focus on myself with the hope that we will reunite into a more balanced relationship. He is worthy of my unconditional love & understanding. Why? because I was where he is at a few years ago. It takes alot of time, self love & healing to open your heart again. There's a 10 year age difference I'm 54 hes 44. Still hurts to let him go..but I truly believe if it's meant to be he will come back corrected and a better version of himself. Love & light to all.💞😇🙏
Jack is talking about your regular breadcruming/ghosting dude. What you experienced is narcissistic abuse that can lead to lifelong trauma and stored stress. Please seek professional help.
Went through the same thing sweetie I'm sorry you had to endure that
I'm getting really good at saying to guys I'm interested in a more frequent type of communication and moving on fast when a guy shows up as a breadcrummer. Unfortunately, most guys seem to behave like this, but I know there are other guys out there willing to invest in a real relationship. I'm feeling empowered :)
I love your approach of "my guy" or "NOT my guy" it has really helped me on my quest to find sobriety and I think I'm getting better at realising a guy is not my guy sooner rather than later and not getting hurt when a guy is not my guy. Thank you for your work and for putting your message out in the world
Sara Σοφία Love this - you’re welcome!
Sara Σοφία Yeah, keep trusting yourself on this. It only takes one guy...
@@thejackbutler I get the impression that some guys initiate a conversation or respond to a contact on a dating site when they are not even really interested and they are doing it half-heartedly. I used to feel really confused about this, but now I think they are not even aware of what they want and what they are doing... Do you think this is true? A lot of guys just mindlessly try to connect with women even when they don't really have much interest in them? I know in the end what matters is that this is not the right kind of guy for me, but I find it important to understand what I might encounter, so that I don't get stuck in a bad situation. It has taken me a few years of bad experiences to get enough understanding of the patterns of behaviour some men can have, because I'm so different...
How I get even,I don't! I just move on and not waste my time with these childish guys.Thanks for this great video Jack,cheers 👋🙏
Patricia Earley Clarity is power!
Me too... I just walked and they lost their Shyt!!
In my case they were an almost business associate / friend...
@@MikeKollin good for you just keep vibing high 👍✌
@@patriciaearley4177 I lucked out... I was going to move 400 miles away to restart my business and I got out in the luck of time... and Thank you! Good Luck to you too!!
I think we feel bitter when breadcrumbed because there is an impression of getting scammed somehow. We had a connection with another person, we were really compatible and it felt mutual and then they decided “you know what? This doesn’t mean anything, i can do better”. The question I have is how to tell in advance if a person will be a breadcrumber or a ghoster? Majority of B guys pretend they are A guys, lose your time, energy, get close to you, share their personal stuff, act friendly, and then disappear.
I don’t want to be vulnerable with people who don’t deserve it. I lose too much energy on every person like that to jump back into dating scene right away after that happens.
I treat romantic connection just as any other relationship. When it comes to friendships, for example, you just meet a person and you get along well and you have many things in common, so you keep talking. You won’t become friends right away, but you will keep in touch, because you’re both interested in communication. When it comes to a romantic thing I feel that whatever my impression is of that person it’s a lie because if we were on friendly terms, they would never disappear like that without giving a valid reason.
All I have to say is anyone who wants to be in your life will make sure they are. You are exactly right, they'll invest. I also believe we teach people how to treat us, by how much or how little we'll "accept." Only accept the best.
All well said :)
They won’t treat us better because we won’t be there anymore, but I always keep in mind there is another girl who will meet this guy and I don’t want him to treat her as he treated me. So maybe setting boundaries and walking away will teach him to appreciate the next person more.
My way to get even is live my best life and never see or speak to him again
Right on! All the power to you!
If they treat you like a second option, just them off from your life and find someone who as actually interested. These people are wasting your time, your energy, and your happiness.
How to get even with a breadcrumber?
1. Don't take it personally.
If you're my person i will not breadcrumb you.
If i'm breadcrumbing you, you're not my person. This clarification creates freedom for me and you.
The way to get even: listen to the deeper communication, take back your energy, refocus your life, do the heeling if necessary, and move on. Don't close your heart to the next connection (the heart is the organ of intimacy).
2. Realize you're not a victim of breadcrumbing. You co-created and participated in the experience of breadcrumbing.
It confused you, because you might have thought you're on a different track. You are feeling abandoned, but not a victim of it. It will take some work on yourself, so you don't have fear of abandonment. (That is what it takes to not be a victim of it).
Some men are breadcrumbers. That is life. You will just notice what you want to participate in, what kind of games you're willing to play. You will not be overly cautious, but notice what kind of guy is in front of you.
How to get even: let him go, wish him well, be grateful. Get rid of the anger, if you need to. Process it. Focus on what's happening in you.
A guy who's dating you only needs to reveal to you who he is. Either your guy or not your guy. Depersonalize it.
Your work is to care less about a guy who doesn't care about you.
If he doesn't care about you, about how the connection unfolds, that is just the reality of it. Most guys are not able to communicate it to you.
Just focus on A- guys (the ones who are "your person"), and remove B-guys (everything else).
What if you come to this realisation and let him go and hes really upset about it, telling hes disappointed bc he isnt ready yet for a relationship?
BEST video I’ve ever seen on breadcrumbing!!!! Thank you! Struggling with this right now. Now it’s not a struggle. He is a B not an A. I feel like my eyes are so open now thank you for being clear. I got it!!!🙏🏼
Helen Silo Amazing! Thanks for letting it impact you! 🙏
I will not allow them to bring death to my soul. I will walk away.... l choose love and life in my life..
Perfect timing. Although the guy didn't bread crumb me, he blocked me on Facebook, after having an intimate conversation with me, saying I was like him and perfect, and taking an interest in me, then later saying he was busy and could speak to me the next day. I said I was busy and had to catch up with my work that day. So after I realised he block me, yes I was hurt and angry at the time, but I also realise he did me a huge favour and so I blocked him back, just in case he decided to unblock me. Then I saw this morning he read the last message he hadn't seen before he blocked me, so guessing he unblocked me again. I can't be doing with such childishness and I think he has work to do on himself before being in serious and committed relationship with someone. Either way, he had his chance and he is gone from my life and done me a favour. Better sooner he did this, than later.
Asexualise My Asexual Life Moving right on!
Jack Butler Exactly. Life is too short to waste.
Just letting u know, i did a test before and when u block someone and that person sends messages, and then u unblock them, you actually can’t see what they sent to you. And the other person will see that you seened the message when really it’s a facebook glitch
@@whyherrodere3784 Thanks for letting me know.
Yes most of the time we have responsibility also. Any relationship takes two and both have responsibility. HOWEVER, there are times that there is more fault on one side than the other. Manipulative people will say and do all the right things, make us 100% believe we are loved and cared for with no red flags whatsoever OR they were so slight that hardly anyone would've ever noticed (we can't be constantly picking apart everyone looking for red flags) in other words, sometimes some people are SO good at lying that there IS no warning. Then leave breadcrumb (which starts to dawn on you but should you immediately, hastily, preemptively dump someone ???) Usually you do spend a bit of time in confusion and then often eventually those types will disappear all together.
My advice having recently been through this is to try to determine early on in a connection with someone how or if they'll discuss topics that are deeper in terms of getting to know each other. Often in the beginning stage of meeting someone and dating them we get too "happy" too quick and just focus on the fun and good feelings... The laughs, the physical attraction and the good times (which is all just hormones in us designed to distract us from reality!) Haha. But seriously it's important to distinguish all that from the real life circumstances and viability of a deeper connection and if they even have a willingness for a more serious relationship. Often yes, we end up playing ourselves and breaking our own hearts. HOWEVER, I still maintain its almost impossible for us humans to ever see anyone with 100% clarity. My friends tell me I'm very analytical and pick things apart and don't trust enough, or put my head over my heart a lot - and yet I've STILL been fooled! So how can you ever win??? My point is sometimes someone IS mostly to blame more than the other person. We can all try to logically determine how we may have contributed to the situation but some people are skilled manipulators who could fool the Lord himself.
Thank you for saying this!!
Wow that’s exactly what am doing right now! I didn’t invest much early on even though I felt the connection was great but now that there is lack of consistency I know he’s not my guy and am actually ok with it. Keeping my heart open for Mr. Right :)
rawan gari Yes! Love that keeping my heart open for Mr Right 🙏
Especially tough to cope with hot and cold guys. 2 weeks ago he was looking for flats to rent together, three days after he shut down completely as he was not sure whether he wanted to be with me. I then packed my stuff and left. He added his cats are his mates. It hurts of course but I don’t want to hop on a rollercoaster. Thanks for the video, Jack!
Congrats!!
I'm 58 & never knew what bread crumbing until the last guy ! I can't believe I got sucked into it ! Not anymore 🤣 thanks for the videos
"The best revenge is to let her keep him." (That quote can apply to so many situations.) Then I say, "Thank you," to whomever she/they may be and move on because now I understand better that he was obviously "not my guy". No one should be anyone's alphabet after A. It can be cruel and a waste of time except for the lesson learned.
A very well clarified and motivating video on an all too common topic, Jack. Thank you.
Amanda TML23 Well said! Happy this was motivating 👍
😂 too Funny!
This has been amazing, the perfect time and provided an insight into healing the hurt I was experiencing from being breadcrumbed. You tell it like it is! I'm a bit wobbly however have the understanding and courage to lean back, step away, say no to Mr B and being breadcrumbed. I now feel in my heart for the first time that it isn't about me. I'm no longer taking it personal which has been very healing in itself. I can admit the anger I felt towards him and am deeply grateful to him for the experience of being a cameo, a lesson in my life that has brought me closer to the woman I am meant to be to attract my Mr Right. Thank you Jack! You support so many of us with your work.
Mikel Ann Hall Hey! Thank you! Happy to hear of the anger metabolizing into gratitude 🙏
Punch a mattress?! 😂
hirschiegirl Ha! Any improvements on that?
I heard this quote not sure if it came from you jack but it has stuck with me & it keeps me grounded , "A happy successful relationship was never paved with a path of bread crumbs " how true is that, ladies remember this & when you get nothing but bread crumbs, pave a new path
This video is super helpful. Went on a date with this guy and it was so good “communication, vibe” he even verbalized his interest in me .. but then communication was inconsistent so I feel like I should bring it to his attention first because I actually like him but im also not lingering around waiting for him to act right.. moving on... nexttt
Thank you Jack. I told the last guy (who was in and out....and then said he was confused and did not know how he felt about me .....after 10 months)...thank you for being honest with me. BUT he did NOT like that.....he wanted me to chase and pursue. I realize he was in his feminine (wounded masculine)...ridiculously good looking so probably used to ooodles of women begging him. Games.... The old me would have fallen for it.....but I felt empowered and KNEW he was not my guy early on...but did not want accept it....Appreciate you helping us. xo
Wendy Williams Happy to hear of your empowerment! 👍
This is absolutely too much brutal honesty in one lump. 😢
I hear you. Maybe you can bookmark it and come back at some point?
@@thejackbutler I was ghosted by a guy I dated for nearly a decade, and later breadcrumbed. The whole "not my person" concept is devastating.
@@JKNat9004 I hear you. I am sorry
Why do you have to be so right! It's simple but not easy... so true... 😫
Ha! Yes simple and easy are two things :)
You are so right . We are to easy to fall to victimhood. It only takes an experience with a breadcrumber to notice your worth. Sometimes it is very subtle and harder to define
I am going threw this with a guy for the 3rd year but am going out realizing that I let this man treat me badly for that long because I loved him. He’s cheated on me he’s talked so badly towards me I blame myself for taking his BS for so long, he ghostes me ignors me I lost our son of heart failure 😭 he wouldn’t even take 5 minutes to see his own son he was to busy with his cousin n her kid’s n just ignored me that day... after that I slowly stopped caring about him as he put me threw hell...a couple months ago I gave him another chance because he made fake promises of marriage n being with only me for the rest of our lives😔 bad mistake on my part as he just did me the same way now I feel nothing for him but disgust... but finally free of any feelings for him at all n I’m living my life n noticing other n better men interested in me something I never cared about because I was so stupidly trying to get him to care more for me what a joke he’s abusing using narssist... I’m now loving myself n talking to good guy’s maybe I’ll get my true love n a great guy after all...so done with the lieing,cheating,ghosting, non caring user
Glad you are taking a stand for yourself. Seems like you are attracting better things from that place. Keep it up 🙏
Recently out of a nine-year relationship with a breadcrumber… it was super helpful for me to hear “you’re not a victim - you were complicit”.
You’re exactly right. I had a vague notion that I should be wary of breadcrumbers in the future but this brings it into sharp focus for me. It’s MY responsibility to accept that loving people harder won’t make them want me.
Thank you!
Yes to all that. Would be curious if ‘loving people harder to feel wanted’ mirrors anything in your past (childhood or early romance)
@@thejackbutler Yes for sure! I'm nearly 50 but until recent therapy had never heard of attachment styles. I assumed everyone who was alone felt lonely, just like me. I assumed close, intimate connections were a source of safety and security for everyone, even if there was drama sometimes.
I now see and understand that as someone who leans "anxious preoccupied", I'm naturally attracted to avoidants who prioritize my needs as much as I do (which is to say, "not much"). The trouble arises when I finally start to feel neglected, and then assuming it's because they aren't feeling loved enough by me. So, I 'love harder', hoping they'll eventually 'read my mind', and suddenly want to meet my needs as much as I want to meet theirs.
Does it mirror anything in my past? Yes, it mirrors almost EVERY relationship in my past haha. I can't say I'll ever feel truly secure, but I'm slowly learning to recognize when my fears are irrational, and also to actively screen out people who are avoidant. As much as I'm attracted to them (and they to me), I just don't want to play "If only I was good enough!" anymore. I AM good enough, and the right person (possibly another AP?) will really appreciate me.
@@truthsmiles Congrats. All sounds like great awareness
Hi, Jack! Hi, Mr CATARACT!!! The words in your videos are like a waterfall on us & they bring the result we all want! THANK YOU!!!
Nτινα Δημοπουλου Mr Cataract lol! I like waterfalls so thanks for the metaphor!
Omg this was perfect! I'm having a hard time fully letting go because I'm addicted to the chemistry, which is rare for me on that level. But ultimately he can't be my guy because he's not ready...this is all easier said than done when I can't date during covid
This video comes just in time 😁 just communicated with a breadcrummer yesterday.. when l rejected him, the only thing he said was 'ups' and 'you wrote too much, l can't answer you' 🙈 good riddance..
Bianca Maria Berg Happy it was just in time! 🙏
@@thejackbutler :)
Wow that’s a funny response! Lol sounds like you dodged a bullet
@@TheBeautifulShutin I think I have :) I feel a bit creped out by this response.. you could interpret this response as mocking, gaslighting, or deflection.. so crazy, considering he is a psychologist (I am a psychologist to be- 1 year left).
Hi Jack. Thank you for telling the harsh truth even though it really hurts when you realize that you’ve been breadcrumbed. 😢 I actually learned a lot about attachment styles on my path of healing and therefore even the breadcrumber who is possibly an avoidant has his issues maybe rooted in childhood that made him become this. But what I realized is that you can’t fix another person. They have to do their own healing work once they realize their pattern.
You’re welcome & all well said 🙏
Yes. I am No ones victim. World is full of available man. What I focus i give my engery and power to. How about I give my energy to myself and I have been doing that and my mood has skyrocketed
Oopsie. ok Right on - keep it up 🙏
Hi, so I just cut off my breadcrumber this afternoon. Started off as casual sex.The greatest sex ever. Honestly mindblowing. And when we did manage to meet everyting was perfect. We also connected on a personal level. Or so I thought. And so the inevitable happend. I fell for him. And after almost a year of sooooo much confusion on where we stand and why he always responds so vaguely via text and never has time for real conversations and regular meet ups, I quit. It was soooo hard because I was so addicted to him. My heart has been aching for 3 months, and I have been mentally working on it for ever and today I did it. I feel relieved. Thanks for reinforcing that I have made the right choice. It feels really good not to be waiting for a crumb of attention anymore!
Glad you found your resolve 🙏
Wow, Jack! One of your best videos in my opinion. Landed like a laser into my brain. I always used to take things like this so personally but the way you expressed it takes literally all of the sting out everything. You're so right - we show up and commit to those we're invested in and feel a strong connection to and those we don't, well we simply won't invest the time in hence the 'breadcrumbing'. In reality, if we simply choose to see it as how you described instead of attaching a meaning that leaves us beating ourselves up, we'd navigate through this terrain in a far healthier manner don't you think?
What a relief to know it is about the other and not me to keep my heart open. You are real and authentic...thank you Jack!!
Yep, I picked up what you're putting down. I listened to your video twice to make it stick. I was not his PERSON! Thanks for your wisdom.👏🏾🙏🏽🙌🏽💪🏽💯
Excellent clarity!
Thank you ❤️I think we all need this 👍
Marisam Lovendino Right on! 🙏
Great video! I’m able to get it becuz i’m finally at that stage where i’m able to see when a guy is breadcrumbing me. And it feels way more simple and empowering to move on when you can notice it immediately. I guess you have to endure a lot of pain before u hit the threshold point and eventually awakening. Love your videos and content! ♥️
I hear you! Yes, I think pain is often the catalyst to awakening alas!
Boom 💥 you’re consistently honest and straightforward with the advice! ♥️ It’s necessary to hear truth in order to take accountability and learn. Much love, thank you 🙏🏼 💕
Thanks for seeing that 🙏
The wisdom in this video is profound. Thank you so much. 😊
🙏 Tnx for receiving it
THANK YOU...needed your videos right now---blessing and thanks!!!!
Happy you're here in right timing!
😢 😢 😢
More than angry are the feelings destroyed it’s the pain .... and yeah.... trying to overcome that it’s difficult specially if u know that he is not a guy “A” but u still like him or feeling for him!!
Thanks Jack.... u are doing an amazing job u have no idea how much your videos help ..... but iam stubborn and a hard head and now a hard heart and cold emotionally..... keep up the good job!
Diana Cardenas I hear you - yes, just coz he’s not your guy doesn’t mean you don’t have real feelings for him. Happy these are helping!
Jack Butler that’s the hard part. The hurt that remains, when you genuinely like/love somebody.
It’s so important for a woman to be able to differentiate between loving someone and needing someone.
WOWW! I used to really say an ex was sprinkling bread crumbs here and there to keep me around and REFUSING to share me the WHOLE cake. These are some great healing tips and supportive terms. I've been through these phases with partners that indeed are breadcrumbers. We need to be supportive for those whom had hopes this may be "the one". Healing and learning to love yourself is the answer.
Right on, to more self love 🙏
Great video
Jack Butler, your expressed insights, in my experience, are so much more dimensional, mature, and empowering than other relationship coaches. I love and feel so inspired by your intelligent, grounding, masculine perspective on this wild thing called love and intimacy! Subscribed.
you are so right! God is good!
Damnnnn these some serious truths totally align w them
lacabe Appreciate that :)
You helped me get to a better place in my headspace today, was devastated last night from a man who just breadcrumbs me n broke my heart. I'm gonna heal n not give him power over my happiness, I'm just raw today but your video put things in perspective so I can move forward n get out of pain.
Would love a live video w you oneday.
Thankyou for your great words about breadvrumbers
Dang! Jack Butler helps women find their inner power! Great motivational and thought provoking coach!
Jackie Noel Aw thanks!
Solid advice, Jack, as always. Thanks for being my light! Please keep your videos coming~~ :)
Hsiang-Ning Chu Thank you! I will! 👍
In other words, there is no breadcrumbing. He’s just not that into you, and that’s his right. Not his right to string you along, though. But that’s on US to protect ourselves.
Thanks so much... i’m really going to seriously take the tips love it thank you..❤️✨✨✨
Prestige 813 Tarot You’re welcome, good luck putting this info action!
This is great.
Thank you 😊
Tough love today, but SO true!
parlbesatt Hope it was at least palatable!
@@thejackbutler as always!
Wise words, but life is far from that simple. When you marry someone, build a life together, have kids and so on...and the breadcrumbing comes later. Or perhaps I only noticed later being so busy etc. I stayed in a marriage, as I think a lot of us do, because you don't want to break your kids hearts. Many years later, we finally broke up...and I'm left realising how I put my own happiness at the bottom of the list.
I hear you. Yes, it’s rarely simple. Sounds like it’s now time to factor you in much more strongly?
So great!!! Thank you! Thank you!! He’s either your guy or he’s not. And that’s ok! Perfect.
Ann Breeswine love this: and that’s ok!
Thank!
It all makes so much sense!
I know why I sometimes accept breadcrumbs ... I am hungry for affection and love. After being single go 6 year, I realize yes I accept breadcrumbs cause it feels better than nothing 🤷🏼♀️
Yes you are right when you say we are not the victim! Sometimes it is easier to walk away than others.
Lately I went back to one of the breadcrumbing guys cause I felt really lonely, I needed to feel arms around me, I needed to be kissed... it was 8 months without affection from a man. Yes I care about myself, yes I have esteem, yes I do love myself and value me... yet let’s be honest, feeling close to a warm body having sex is something I cannot give to myself. In fact cause I care about me and know my needs I went backbit him to fill that need of physical touch and closeness.... I took what I needed...
Difference today, I don’t out hopes on it... I enjoy the crumbs while pursuing my life.
Weird, isn’t it? I just need to watch out to not fall in he rabbit hole again.
Damn, where is my man, he’s been hiding for over 6 years now.... hellooooo time to show up 😅
Hope what you look for is arriving your way soon 🙏
Hey Jack, heard you loud and clear
Thanks
Maggie Wanjiru Thanks for hearing!
Don't close your heart to the next connection!!!! Yeeeessss!!!
🙏
Amazing pep talk ❤it! Thank you for sharing. Stay blessed
🙏⭐️
Thanks Jack for the video 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
Shantal Shobande 🙏🌟😊
Such a great video
Thank you!
This video really resonated with me tonight. Thank you for your helpful and awesome tips!!!! I have been so good at matching people's energy lately 😊
Learning to match people's energy is good work, keep it up!
I just got rid of a guy who I gave the benefit of a doubt. I feel so good!
Happy you gave yourself the benefit this time 🙏
I just broke this well it was nothing he barely gave me time. Well today I did it I told him it’s better if we do t speak anymore.
Happy for your clarity, wishing you well
I am being breadcrumbed in a 7 years relationship, we were engaged at one point, I never know where we stand, I don't know if we are still engaged, I don't know anything, when I lose interest the person pledges love for me, I go back, and right after that it is an affective desert, and again and again. I feel like am going crazy.
Thank you Jack!
Arriana Thierry 🙏👍
Entered with a revenge mode... finished the video soft XD thank you!
That’s so cool!
Thank you 😘
🙏
Thank you Jack
Hoili Swu 👍🙏
Great video. Take ownership. Love that.
Thank you 🙏
Any tips on how to give up creating stories regarding making an A out a B? :-) Especially for anxious leaning people? How to stay sober as you mentioned in one of your webinars 😁 Great content as usually 🙏
Natalie Caraman That’s a huge inner work practise. Do you meditate? You can notice if stories come and say or whisper ‘story’
@@thejackbutler Love this! Thank you
Jack Butler wow, funny I was just meditating in park :) I’ll try this technic! Much love 💕
Wow! That was awakening🔥
Yay!
Ty.😊but he cares for me...
Nimfa Bangay 🙏
Your best & hardest to hear, but most empowering video so far...in my humble opinion. Finally understanding this just today. Epic timing. 🙏🏼💗. Please make your seminar available @midnight or 1am EST if possible. I keep trying to sign up & missing it, but could listen during that time while I continue to sew masks.
Tanya Pineda Thank you! Good to hear. Register for the webinar - and then if you don’t show you will he sent the replay
Helps tremendously ❤️. Thank you for speaking logic into me!
Thank you. So much clarity.
You’re welcome 🙏
Jack, do you actually know that you save lives...Much love from Bulgaria...
Aww 🙏☺️
Very empowering reminder. Thank you! I’m not available for breadcrumbing.
You are so right! Ladies be greatful for the bread crumbers & those who ghost you. These men have shown you who they are and what you mean to them ( which isn't much) let's categorise these men from the A's to B's , recognize the difference and be thankful if they reveal which one they are early on. The B's aren't worth your time or emotional energy, don't take it personally. Just keep it moving
Thank you, just needed to hear that to rise again 🥰 I like your approach! Sometimes it is good to hear someone else vocalising what you already know deep down inside!!! You cannot change other people... you can just look in the mirror at yourself, learn, built yourself up and go on. Take care of yourselves 😍
Yes, I know that experience of someone putting language to something you already know/intuit 🙏
A cameo. Thank you, Jack!
Glad that naming was helpful
I am picking up what you’re putin’ down! I needed to hear this today. Thank you!!
Yay! Thanks!
This is so eye opening thank you!
Happy to hear that 🙏
Like the cameo analogy
This is very helpful. Especially if he only calls 1x @ week, he’s not really that into you 🤦🏼♀️
Hey Jack, so good to see you! 😊
Hey 🙌
Thanks for reminding me. Ur absolutely right. Wish them well and move on
Jack, wow, great take on the topic!
I'll say.. what if we just stop to focus on men who (for whatever reason they may have, not our business) don't want to be our men, and work on building a healthy self-confidence instead?
that would be something I'd like to hear you talk more about, here. because you are definitely very good at it, and because it's what's actually needed, too, isn't it
in any case, thank you, once more!
hugs
Excellent advice! What I’m going thru right now!
Wishing you well with it!
This video is gold. Thank you Jack! I needed this encouragement and clarity this morning. You're the best, namaste!