My Best Man Tried to Kiss My Fiancée
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- Опубліковано 4 лис 2024
- My Best Man Tried to Kiss My Fiancée
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I love how he said “AND YOU CALLED MY WIFE A LIAR”. He is so defensive of his wife’s character and that is admirable.
* his fiance (is what she is)
@@theophila214well he called her his wife (is what she is to his eyes)
@@80sbrunnette So that was his mistake. It is still a very, very, very different thing. Fiance is *close* to that, but they have not yet crossed the threshold. (and either could still back out). So, it is very, very different. ♡
@@theophila214 how is it his mistake ? Because he’s sees her as a wife? Fiancée = future spouse
@@80sbrunnette Because she's not his wife yet. That's the mistake. Either one could still peace out of the relationship. (Door is closing, but not yet closed.) "Engaged" is not "married."
Are we not going to mention that this was on the evening of his VOW RENEWAL!?
Shocking that the friend didn’t go to bed w his own wife after that type of event.
That is a WILD display of character.
True, it was a re-engagement, why didn't they go to bed together??
I was thinking this the whole time while listening! Yikes!
What is equally as shocking is the finance didn't go to bed with her to be. She's only telling part of the story here.
@@johniii8147not anywhere near equally as weird. she's hosting. he just re-proposed to his wife. stop shifting the blame
@@mrlnxf8455 Not shifting anything. Sounds like they BOTH made bad choices that night. I'm simply saying there is something a bit off about the one version of the story.
When men say that women need to choose better, this "best friend" is a prime example of how hard it is to vet men. Twenty years of friendship, and then "friend" tries to go after his wife. How the heck do you vet people if 20 years of knowing the ins and outs of someone isn't enough?
This is more of an example of a man who sucks at vetting people in my opinion. Remember, he also had no problem with his wife staying up at night, drinking with another man all alone.........He clearly doesn't see red flags that are right in front of him.
My brothers best friend of over 40 years slept with his wife. My brother has given money to his man, he has given him shelter and hope so many times. It was a year ago and our entire family is still trying to get through it.
i don’t vet friends or family. i naturally suspect everyone and try to not make it visible. i keep tabs on everyone
@@SeeHang😳
THAT sounds like his best friend and the wife both agreed to that. The caller's wife was not involved. She was FORCED by the best friend. Two totally different stories.
@@robynearl
The wife: “Cool hat!”
The friend: “She wants me.”
🤣🤣
Yep.. I'm sure he feels bad but that doesn't erase what he did
😅😅 you just described my current and entire life lol
lmao 😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂
"You don't look as hideous and disgusting as usual "
"She thinks I'm HOT"😅😅😅😂😂
Unfortunately, there are ALOT of guys who think this way. You give them any type of attention and they read too much into it and think your flirting with them
It’s too late. He’d never be welcome in my home as the wife. I’d be scared
I agree!! If a guy attacked my face like that I would force my husband to block that person off
yes, that I was thinking
Honestly she put herself in the position by being alone with him late at night. Also touching his shoulders. You gotta be aware of what touch mean to people. Also, mixing that with alcohol. At the end of the day he is a man. Depending on how attractive this guys finance is I think it’s wrong but could see it being an honest mistake
@@tj139Tell us you're a piece of human garbage without telling us you're a piece of human garbage. If you're such an uncontrollable man child that you can't control yourself when someone touches you and you had alcohol, you need professional help. Not by a priest, not by a pastor, not by holy men. Who's going to do nothing but excuse your behavior. Secular help from a secular doctor.
@@Koala5-i8xDude if my best man did that, being blocked would be the least of his concerns. Our weak society can’t interfere with our primary job as husbands “to protect our family”.
The fact that the friend and the fiancé didn’t get along at first tells me he was probably attracted to her then which was the reason for the animosity. I wonder if his wife is aware of this situation.
I also wondered if he was desiring her and frustrated because she was dating his best friend. Oy…
I wondered the same thing!
And did anyone else catch that his fiance' had her hand on his friend's shoulder as she listened to the song he wrote for the couple! Plus, how does Jerod know it was that his friend kissed his fiance' and not the other way around????
YEP! That's exactly what I thought. The caller will grieve the loss of this friendship but, seriously, he's dodging a bullet with this 'friend."
Great call!
The situation was NOT consensual. The friendship is over. If I were the fiancée, I would be traumatized.
I wouldn't be traumatized, I would be pissed and feel very bad for my fiancé who just discovered who his best friend of twenty years really is and it's not good.
Exactly!!!
Yeah 😮but why did she stay up with his friend ❓Why didn't she go to bed with her fiancee ❓
@@watervillegangmemberIf we got rid of Alcohol, the crime rate would go way down and stupid crap would 🛑🛑🛑🛑
@@stardustgirl2904 Are you implying that because she stayed up late that she is to blame?
His friend is unhappily married. Not an excuse, but hes jealous of what his friend has. This goes deep.
You have no basis for that. It’s more likely that he probably already ruined his marriage with this same behavior toward a coworker or some other woman outside of his marriage & he is jealous and trying to ruin their relationship too. Misery loves company.
If he was just unhappy and disgusting enough to cheat, he would still have no reason to try to force himself on his best friend’s wife. He’s a deeply selfish, immature, destructive creep. Why his best friend’s wife?? He’s a sick and miserable person with no morals. Pathetic.
You might have hit the nail on the head. Jealousy!
Maybe so, buy his wife probably doesn't even know bc he throws her lavish parties as a front for seducing another man's fiancee. It's kinda hard to figure out there's a problem in your marriage when your husband lies to you.
Their is no excuses to doing it with your “best friend”. He could have cheated with ANYONE else. Stop trying to low key give him a pass.
He had just renewed his vows with his wife as a surprise to her. So his marriage was good, but his lust for his best friend's fiance was stronger than his common sense . He deliberately stayed up late to put moves on her. I would not be surprised if the whole renewal of vows with his wife was all about trying to impress this guys girl and not about his wife. Someone mentioned jealousy. Absolutely. He wants the new girl.
So the friend destroyed their friendship and put his own marriage at risk in the same process. Sounds like he has trouble controlling his impulses (especially when alcohol is involved). It wouldn’t surprise me if his behavior is pervasive.
I had the exact same thought. Probably not the first time.
Maybe that's why "Friend" wanted a fresh start on his marriage?
This is the intelligent thread******
Agreed. He sounds like a potential predator. My gut was screaming with the descriptions of the way he chose to make a pass at her so aggressively (twice no less!) and the gaslighting language around his behavior.
No one should ever trust anyone like this!
In a way, grabbing a woman’s face and kissing her like that is a form of assault. HELL to the NO. Bye bye, psycho. I feel bad for his wife - proposing “again” and then pulling that stunt? Sounds sociopathic to me. Yikes. Guy’s got skeletons in the closet for 20 yrs and you just got a little peek.
thats what I thought too. his wife has to feel so broken
Yes
@@annekendziora9114 if she even knows
It's really lewd and lascivious
It’s more than just a ‘form’ of assault. It is functionally the legal definition of _’Battery’_ : “The second type of contact that may constitute battery causes no actual physical harm but is, instead, offensive or insulting to the victim. Examples include spitting in someone's face or offensively touching someone against his or her will.”
telling someone they look nice is such a standard, low effort compliment that it's insane you would take that as an invitation to make a pass. he was going to try to kiss her regardless and when it didn't go well he tried to shift the blame
@@Austenfan177you must be stupid! Like extremely stupid! I hangout with husbands friends, brothers friends, close male friends alone, because we are close. You must be a super fool to think that hanging out together in your husbands house with his best friend chatting it up when my husband is asleep( after we were all just chilling) that I’m interested in them. It’s so stupid it’s crazy. Deliver yourself from such idiocy. Her husband and his wife went to sleep because they trusted them.
@@Austenfan177 Exactly. She is making up her own story here. Neither was in the right here but she's making up her own story here at that is was all his fault.
Dear men of the world: a woman being nice doesn't mean she is into you...
It isn't lewd or lascivious
Usually it's "incels" who mistakes kindness or standard compliments for flirtation (due to lack of human touch or lack of interaction with the gender they're attracted to). But that eediot man was married too! So I really don't understand his thought process.
I know there's no acceptable excuse for this, but i want to know what other factors were in force when he made that silly decision. Was he drunk? Is he going through a midlife crisis? Problems with the wife?? I have questions, lol!
When women say they are harassed constantly... this is why. We are just "existing" and living our lives, and then there is a man that is like "oh she must want me; let's double down".
As a man who likes to check women out in public, I learned very young the difference between genuine interest and politeness. Also there's a reason why women passing you in the street will look directly ahead and never make eye contact: they don't know if I'm the kind of guy that will take the slightest attention as an invitation, so they won't even risk looking at me. They've been burned too many times by men who CANNOT tell the difference between being acknowledged and interest. It's amazing what fantasies men come up with in their heads.
I never compliment men because I don't want the harassment, I also won't smile at men anymore.
There's also the issue of hitting on your best friend's fiance RIGHT AFTER A REDO OF YOUR OWN ENGAGEMENT! Bro! What a special night for the wife that's now forever ruined. No mention of her AT ALL. That's a major character issue if he can re-propose one minute and the next minute he's already hitting on his best friend's girl.
YESSSSSSSS
Yes, I want to know how his wife is doing.
@@uscitizen3252I’m guessing it’s not going great 😅. I’m worried about the wife too.
Yeah. I hate to say this because it will probably insult someone in the comment section who did this, but the only people I know who got remarried on their 10 year anniversary or suddenly got a tattoo honoring their spouse or something broke up quickly after. The relationship was sinking and they thought a big, romantic gesture could save it. A lot of people are also cowards and don't feel confident leaving one relationship without getting the next one lined up first. I feel bad for everyone involved here, what a train wreck.
Thank you for that! I feel John handled this call really well, but at the same time, my heart was also really going out to that poor woman whose husband just made moves on his best friend's fiancee right after re-proposing! She must be heartbroken and feel like her entire marriage is a sham!
Replace that 20 yr friendship with a lifelong marriage friendship
Amen to that 🔥🙌
Am I the only one that is dying to know what creeper guys wife said/how she reacted?
Nope. Inquiring minds want to know! 🤣🥺
I want to know if caller or his fiance even told her...because you know that the cheater didn't.
@@vanillaghetto "why aren't we going to the wedding?....."
Usually she knows this type of behavior; they’ve been together long enough
Especially after the evening he had arranged for her
Watch your friends closer than your enemies.
That's why he was giving her hell in the start, he was jealous and crushing bad on her.
Yup
@@Veracityseeker7 I was the young person that had faith in people and this weird new ideas and the older I got. The more experience I have and the more I have seen. I realized something. Not even my parents but my grandparents that were more strict, they are right. The rest of us are just BSing to not be so depressed.
@@marthajackson1388what are you even saying
@@MrSecretweapon174 What's so complicated about what I said? You see the exact same thing thru different stages of life. Your friend is complaining about your partner or how they are not good enough for you and then turn around and hits on them. Typically, it stems out of jealousy or attraction.
@@marthajackson1388 oh okay. Yeah I agreed with you 💯👌. Happened to me too in exactly that way. Friend was complaining about how annoying my gf was. I end up breaking up with her for the bros, then he dates her lol. I wasn't phased tho, I could do better than both of them.
Maybe I am just reading too much between the lines, but the fact he tried a second time by force makes this sound a whole lot worse than just some poor judgement. It sounds like there's likely a very serious crime here. I can't even imagine what the caller is going through to have something that horrible done by someone so close to him.
Yes… I was thinking the same… if his friend and his wife had not been in the house, and he was under the influence, this could have easily become rape. The second time definitely is not a mistake. That is a man on a mission. So gross.
This guy has probably had a thing for his friends girl since the get go. Sad
i feel so awful for the fiance. The friend assaulted her. and i feel like the fact it was assault was not properly addressed in this video. It was wayyyy more than just a betrayal of friendship.
@@lademoiselleketoret6958 yes. And thankfully the fiancé fought back. Had she been too afraid to fight back, it might have turned to a rape even with the others in the house. Many people freeze when someone violates them that way. She's very lucky her nervous system allowed her to fight rather than immediately go into shock.
I agree
Yea it’s a wrap. No coming back from that. I’d never forgive my best friend for that. There’s billions of women on the planet. Choose any other one but mine
Especially when your best friend gave you the honor of being the best man at the wedding him and his wife were about to have! He gave his friend the honor of being the most important man in his wedding procession, and this so called friend returns the favor by hitting on his best friend's fiance?! Naw, not cool at all! There is NO coming back from that!
A person MUST forgive, the way God forgives us for our sins and transgression. If God didn't sacrifice his only son: Jesus Christ to die on the cross for our sins, we would all die and go to hell. Nobody would go to Heaven! Most people don't know or realize the importance of forgiveness. If I were you, I would run to your best friend and forgive him. I'm quite sure you've done some things to other people in your life that were wrong, and they've didn't crucify you for it. They've forgiven you and moved on. Besides, if this girl wasn't your fiancé or wife with a ring on her finger, she wasn't in a committed relationship to you. Significant others come and go every day, so it shouldn't matter if someone else made a pass at your girlfriend or not and if so, then just move on because she wasn't your fiancée nor wife. So therefore, why can't you forgive someone else? Nobody's perfect! Everybody makes mistakes, including you.
@@slimdude2011 If my therapist taught me anything recently after something identical happened to me last year, forgiveness does not have to mean reconciliation. He can forgive his friend and still not want a relationship with someone who would go behind their back like that with utmost disrespect, then shove the blame on his fiance.
@@orangesplaylist It's impossible to have forgiveness without reconciliation. If the reconciliation is not there, then you have not truly forgiven that person. You can't honestly forgive somebody and still carry a lifelong grudge against them. That's not true forgiveness!
U can forgive but not put yourself in a position to be hurt again. As well as not trust someone who is untrustworthy. U can forgive a pedophile but not allow them near your kids.
This happens more frequent than people think or admit
I thought the same thing. The thought of making a pass on your friend's partner/spouse is probably all too common unfortunately. It's sad to think that our friends could be crushing on our partner because we trust them. Unfortunately, we've seen couples get divorced and end up with their ex's close friend and that doesn't happen out of nowhere. :/
Yes, and some chics at moments are like a cat in heat.
@@JustinCase780Whereas guys are like....?
@@nicolab2075 More like dogs.
Yep. I had a friend of 20 years, he was married with a kid and hit on me after he heard I was dating his best friend of…his ENTIRE life. The guy I dated ghosted me, likely told a lie, and I dropped the friendship with the friend. You never really know people. I’m better off without either though.
Sometimes people who you think are your friends actually think little of you as a person and as long as you are not doing better than them everything is good. But when things go well for you they can envy you. Its sad that this happened but at the same time it was probably one of the best things to happen. This wasn't a one time jealous moment. He didnt dislike your fiance at first because he was jealous of her time with you. He was jealous of you and your happiness.
So true
Great insight.
Why, does everyone automatically assume she's telling the truth! Maybe she's been jealous of his bro friendship and now she feels she's in a position to get rid of him. Who knows how drunk he was
Best advice I got from this video:
How can you reconcile a friendship if the person never admits to wrongdoing?
what I got from this video is men and women should never be "friends". That wife and friend should have NEVER felt comfortable being alone together in the first place. I am friendly with all of my wifes girlfriends BUT I do not have any one on one type of relationship with any of them. We keep it friendly but if I ever found myself alone with one of them I would remove myself from that situation. I personally think it is disrespectful to my wife and the womans husband.
@@nickdipaolofan5948I’m very similar. It’s just weird
@@nickdipaolofan5948 Well if you are friends with men who assault women, yes. Otherwise this situation would have been them talking for another twenty minutes and than calling it a day and there wouldn`t have been any story to tell.
@@anthill1510 We all agree that this dude is a creep and nobody should keep men like him around as friends. But the woman in this scenario is not 110% innocent. Why was she staying up, drinking with another man while her fiance is sleeping? Why is she putting herself into situations like that, which at the very least, look suspicious? She could have chosen to leave with her man rather than chit chat alone with another dude, late at night, drinking....................That is not good judgement on her part.
If my wife did that, I would be having a conversation with her big time.
But if he actually told the truth, and she lied! I don't think he's the best therapist,there are two sides to every story ❗🤔💭
The part that got me is he made a pass at another woman just after renewing vows with his wife?
This "friend" had jealously and rage toward him for a really long time. I had a 30 year friendship like this. Everyone kept trying to hell me this, but it look a big incident (similar to the call) for me to open my eyes. We didn't speak for 10 years, but she came to show her respects ay my mother's funeral. We communicate about big events (parent's deaths, kid's weddings, etc.). But we will never be close again because she isn't safe.
I think so, too. He had to have a vow renewal the same year as his friend’s wedding?
The "friend" is not worthy of trust; you're right, he is not a safe person. And his wife-to-be is not safe with him around.
@@aswithinsowithout Like three weeks before their wedding. And in their house with only these four attending?! That`s so strange. Either do it just you two or make it a big event if you wanna make up for eloping the first time. Yeah, the guy was badly coping with actually wanting to marry his best friends fiancé.
He's always liked the wife...
This was my first thought as well! Not getting along at first, because he had the hots for her and he tried to come up with a reason not to hang out.
@@BagznBirdzBut he's married, and as an adult, you get over it. He grabbed her to kiss her the day he "re-purposed" to his wife. Wow. I feel real bad for his wife
@@jenerin905 sometimes you get over it, sometimes you do stupid sh*t because you haven't gotten over it. People aren't machines.
@@BagznBirdz(wanted to add on to this point)and now he basically sort of assaulted his best freinds wife, almost completely ruined his best freinds marriage, already did ruin his own, and ruin the friendship.the stuff humans do because they can’t have somthing they feel entitled to,then end up throwing a temper tantrum , and just ending up with less then they originally had, will always be such a interesting phenomenon to me. Cause bro quite literally risked it all just to MAYBE get a kiss from his best freinds wife .
Fiance
And what about the wife of the friend??😩😰😭 He reproposes to her and then lunges at his best friend’s fiancée a few hours later. Oh my gosh. What in the world is really going on?! 😣😣😣
After being single, for so long, I will end any relationship with friends who threatens my romantic relationship. I will not tolerate and will obliterate any chance of my love being damaged.
Ghosting is one of life's most useful skills.
Sounds like you need to get out and actually date some people bro. You don't want to latch on to the first girl that pays you attention and ghost all your friends who have been there when you were single. Take it from personal experience.
Wait a min did he make that move at the re proposal??? Good god that makes it even worse. Man, I’m sorry that’s such a violation of friendship!
made a pass? that’s sexual assault or at the very least, _attempted_ SA.
Absolutely
That's what I was thinking
No it isn’t. Stop with all that. If he kept on it would have been.
@@mrv2308 He tried to kiss her she said no, he then tried to physically grab her and go again. The moment someone says no it means no, does not mean try again. No once is no, anything after is non-consensual.
@@mrv2308I'm interested to know what you would do if a gay guy grabbed you and kissed you. Same reaction? No big deal?
His friend vying for his attention over the fiancee in the past and the timing of the upcoming wedding points to long standing jealousy and envy Imo
Dr. John is getting in real good shape man, props
I should get on his program.
:)
CrossFit
Maybe he should sell posters and you can put one up in your bedroom.
@JustinCase780 scared to compliment others or something? Don't project so much, it's kind of obvious
@@joea9222 I love the guy and you are correct that he looks fantastic. Maybe consider taking a joke and lighten up.
The friend clearly has some jealousy or ego issues about being the center of attention. He chose to "re-propose" just as his friend is closing in on his own wedding. He asks the friend to host the re-proposal, then makes not one but two passes at the fiance. You don't really know whether he was really attracted to the fiance or whether it was an opportunity to ruin the friend's wedding. The whole thing was one big set-up. When you look at it that way, yeah, the friendship is over.
Well said. I found exactly what you were saying SUCH odd behavior
Even if Jerod reaches a point of forgiveness and understanding, his fiancé would have to also reach that point, which seems like a longer road. The friendship will never be the same, and his friend not being willing to own up to his actions is proof things will never be the same. It’s sad that impulse control is lacking even through the lens of a close friendship. Besides, when you marry someone, you pick them, you choose them. Everything else becomes background noise. It seems like it’s the inevitable to part ways with that friend.
This reminds me of the time my friends boyfriend made a pass on me and I told her IMMEDIATELY!
Unfortunately she took the guys side as he cooked up a good story and flipped the script! She ended the friendship with me even though I had two witnesses! Two years later he cheated on her and dumped her and moved on with some new girl!
The drama is not necessary so I never reconnected with that former friend as that relationship could never be the same! Sometimes I miss her but remind myself it’s not worth it cause of the way she reacted towards me as opposed to her cheating boyfriend.
This has happened to me before too… only the guy did not cook up a good story… she just wrote him off and then proceeded to distance herself from me because she was afraid her new boyfriend would be attracted to me. So I paid the price for a long time. Finally confronted her and we’ve been better since.
Karmas a b! Someone woman are so desperate to keep a man it’s sickening!
Women deal with this differently as insecurities and being emotionally attached to make a relationship work and wanting to believe in her man is very deeply programmed in women. Until it happens and then they realize the truth! Oh well!
I can’t with how us women generally take the side of the man no matter what and villainize women just by looking good. You’re better off with all of them out of your life.
You are better off without her.
What a coward of a man. Poor guy. Respect to this guy. Enjoy your wedding and marriage. You and your wife deserve good people in your circle.
I'd have some questions for my fiancé if I was this man, BEFORE the wedding.
@@nickdipaolofan5948 Lmao what? You'd be mad at the wife?
@@quantumblurrr Yes, the wife made several unwise choices. She chose to stroke the other guys shoulder while he was singing, like she was a groupie. She decided to stay up after her husband went to bed, so she could be alone with the man she was touching earlier, drinking with him, late at night, and did I already mention.....alone with him?
Yeah, those are the actions of someone who either doesn't understand healthy boundaries or is knowingly laying groundwork for her intentional infidelity. I would not be in a relationship with a woman who acted like this with other men.
This is a very common occurrence . They think they have a chance with wives/gf of their friend and make a pass whenever they think the situation suits them. Men consider their friends as brothers and all but many of these so called brothers can easily backstab them for women
File assault charges. He put his hands on her twice including after she pushed him off. That is assault. Even if they do nothing, at least it is on file.
If its true>>>>>>?
As a wife, if my husband went to bed. I would follow even if I wasn't tired. You have to put yourself in good situations. This situation isn't good, even before the kiss..
Exactly, somethings not right with that scenario. We dont know the context. The friend might have rushed up to her and tried to kiss her... otherwise why are they so close alone?
Exactly!
So we're victim blaming now?? Did you forget what John said about how he'd let his wife vacation with his best friends? If you're in a committed relationship and your partners best friend and their wife are regular fixtures in yours, why would you not be comfortable being alone with them? Like he said, you'd view them as a sibling. You have love for them but the thought of seeing them in any romantic light wouldn't even cross your mind.
@@stephaniejones3531my friend made a vow with his wife at the alter they never would go separate ways with friends other men and woman and never travel solo anywhere. These temptations happen especially with alcohol involved. I’m not saying I would ever do anything if the sort no matter how much I drank. However you have to put yourself in good positions. What John said about his wife going on vacation with his buddies is all good and well and 99.9% nothing negative would ever happen however that is anomaly and just opens the door to sin of you keep putting yourself in situations like that
@@stephaniejones3531 hate to say it but stuff happens all the time! I'm not victim blaming but you also have to put yourself in a good situation. People aren't as trustworthy as we think.
What a great man, you are, for believing your fiancé, and having her back. There are many men who would not do that. True colors are shown by a person on their actions, through his actions he told you who he was. I am so sad for you that you had to go through this experience.
I can’t imagine accepting back a friend who attempted to assault my partner
That friendship is dead in the water. You can’t really come back from that. His friend is a coward for not even owning up to it. Maybe at some point the dude will own up to it, than maybe there’s some closure. But that’s 20 years down the drain. Dude just renewed his vows with his wife and celebrated by trying to kiss his homies wife? Get the hell out of here 😂
yeah ikr? i think the one who took the worst hit is the wife of the best man. That poor woman. He basically manipulated her with a huge gesture and then played her. Now she not only has to deal with infidelity but also her husband tried to force himelf on a woman. The shame...and the lack of accountability to top it off.
🤣🙏🏽
Geez his poor wife…I hope this opened her eyes. Safe bet this guy didn’t choose his best friend/brothers girl as the first time he attempted to cheat. Gross.
I would honestly question the wife, too. Maybe SHE’S not ready for marriage. Maybe she’s the one who was flirty and whatnot. Anything is still an option 👀😳🤷🏼♂️
@@mikenelson8377 What you're advocating for is distrust and insecurity, both signs that the marriage won't last, nor should it. If the husband doesn't trust his wife, then he shouldn't be with her. In this case, he knows her well enough to know she isn't lying, and that she loves him and wants to be only with him. Such trust is the sign of real confidence, and a marriage that is strong and beautiful. I really do wish them all the best!
@@crow_feather if marriage truly lasts, then how come divorce IS an option?
@@mikenelson8377 My very point is that the trust needs to be there so that the marriage does last, and the two enter into a lifelong, deeply loving relationship and not get divorced. The very point of marriage is that you've given this person your heart, and you do your best to make that be for life. As the marriage vows state,"til death do us part." Divorce is there as an option only when you've tried everything to make the marriage work, and yet you're still a odds with each other. It's there as a last resort, not simply something you run to at the first chance you get.
@@crow_feather yes and in order to trust someone, you need to make sure they are trustworthy. Not jumping to accusations, but it is rare that a guy you know for 20 years shoots his shot like this unless he thinks he was getting some signals from her. At the very least she might be sending off some vibes she isn't intending to and that needs to be fixed.
It's the "Did I ever really know them?" that was the hardest part when I lost my best friends.
His aggressive behavior seems awfully "rapey" to me. He was Completely uncaring of her feelings ..twice!!
That sort of typical value of many men who commit sexual assault.
So "you look nice" it's all it takes for him to assault her?!? Someone needs to look into that guy's past...
And then men complain that they don’t get enough compliments
@@queenwhatever5217 I think You've got it backwards.
@@Batmans_Pet_Goldfish He got it just right. Men complain a lot that they don’t get enough compliments, but the second they recive any sort of comment no matter now neutral or platonic they see it as a sexual advance.
@@AC-jl7hb again, swap it around and you've got it right. Men jump to conclusions because they don't really get any, so it's a rarity.
@@Batmans_Pet_Goldfish They would if they had any basic decency to treat women like people and not sexual prospects. I will put my safety over any man being sad he doesnt get enough compliments. Treat people right first and then see what happens.
I believe the caller. My only hesitation is when he said "when I finally found out" I'm concerned that she didn't tell him right away.
She probably didnt want to embarass the guys wife n have her husband beat the guy up
I'd be too horrified to say right away.
Probably because it wasn't just a kiss, it was full on SA and she had a lot to process
She hesitated because of the long friendship and because she didn't want to hurt the other woman involved. And because it happened on the night they renewed their vows. Also, she was freaked out and wasn't sure what was the right thing to do, like most of us would be because of the fallout.
Yeah, we can't know for sure, but you're right that there are indeed two options: (1) She was trying to hide something/her own actions, or (2) she was afraid of the consequences, afraid for the other wife, afraid of being blamed and afraid to ruin everything.
I think the latter is the most likely in this story.
For people questioning the fiancée's judgment, she thought she was safe around her man's brother.
"she thought she was safe around her man's brother" she was wrong, she exercised poor judgment. A man or woman with good judgment would have a personal boundary that they don't allow themselves to be alone with someone of the opposite sex, after hours, drinking, and touching the dudes shoulders and fawning over him while he is singing...........
Sorry, but you ladies really need to take some accountability on this crap.
@@nickdipaolofan5948it's so obvious she was into the dude. Women don't randomly touch ir compliment a guy then was drinking with him alone. She knew.
@@nickdipaolofan5948how about men stop trying to make women accountable for the actions of MEN. Grow a pair.
@@NeotericNegro She was so into him that she pushed him away when he tried to SA her? Make it make sense.
@@nickdipaolofan5948 So women can never feel safe ever?
I always say this the length of a friendship doesn’t matter its about the person. Somebody can be snaking you for sooo long and they just waiting for the right opportunity to snake you out its crazy.
i used to compliment men all the time, then it gets weird, so i’ve stopped. i’ve been more careful since, even smiling or just being nice can lead to a misunderstanding. it’s sad, cause it would have been nice to just smile and be able to be nice without it being an invitation.
This friendship ending over something this preventable is such a tragedy, but seems unavoidable now. What might be even worse is that it was done after a successful re-proposal party for his wife, thrown by the friend he betrayed. He had everything in the world going for him, and he threw it all in the trash, because he "wanted to know what it was like" to kiss his best friend's fiance'. He coveted someone else, and lost it all, even if his wife stays with him, because there's no way she'll trust him the way she did before. There is no way her heart isn't shattered into a million pieces, because not only did he betray the vows he made originally for their wedding, but nulled and voided the romantic gesture of the new proposal, too. I hope that guy gets counseling, so that he can see what reasoning he has to self-sabotage so thoroughly, so he can pick up the pieces of his shattered life and move on however he is able. As for everyone else, I hope they can recover from this devastation, and perhaps go on without the guy, including the wife, who probably feels abandoned and isolated. I hope she allows her close friends to be by her side in this whole mess. Prayers for everyone, including the caller, who has to deal with the horrific reality of all of this betrayal to kick off his brand new marriage. At least it seems his wife wasn't involved in participating in the debauchery, and most likely was the person to tell him about what went on.
It was preventable up until he tried to make not just one, but TWO passes on his wife. I mean ONCE was bad enough. Not even accidental. It was done with intent. The friend is selfish. Shame on him.
@@xDinomanx Absolutely. Selfish almost seems like too trivial of a word to try to explain what he did.
Jarrod respected his buddy's wife as a friend too probably. Then everything has gone to BS because of this. It's going to suck to uninvite the wife from the wedding too.
Maybe I'm from a different generation, but I cannot see myself ever going to bed and leaving the wife alone with another man.
I thought that was incredibly odd too.
That seems very different generation to me. These were all people he trusted.
Because you don’t trust the man or don’t trust your wife?
@@autygris1 Because you don't make a habit of allowing risky situations....this guy thought he could trust his "best friend" and look at what happened.
It's not a matter of "trust" is a matter of risk mitigation.
I don't wear a seat belt today in specific because I know an accident is going to happen today specifically. I wear it all the time...even though I know the odds of an accident any particular day is slim.
@@thomasgerace4354 I dunno think your analogy holds water. If you trusted your wife & BF then there would be no risk to mitigate.
…driving is a different ball o’wax
Never let the same snake bite twice
Say it again!
Where, WHERE are these friends with such great morals and genuine care for each other??
Out of respect for his wife the friendship should be over!
So heartbreaking! I have some really good guy friends that I feel so safe with. I complement them and we say nice things to each other there wives are my best friends. I couldn’t imagine this happening, that poor lady!
please don't be so naive. Unless it is your brother or father, don't allow yourself to be alone with another man like this woman did. As a married man, I would NEVER allow myself to be alone with another woman, even at a party in another room while tons of people are just a room away. I would never do that out of respect for my wife AND so there is never even a situation where rumors could circulate.
You could be friends with a guy that you have known since birth, DON'T be too touchy feely or act in a way that could be misunderstood by someone. It is about respect, reputation, AND your safety.
Only white folks think this way 🤣🤣🤣🤣
This happened to me!! Just before my wedding day my husband's best friend just walked across the room and planted one on me, in front of everyone! I freaked out, but then my finance started yelling at me like i wanted it. And defended his friend.
We didn't get married.
How many of us have friends who grew jealous of our happiness and tried to destroy it.
Closure is overrated. Even if you let him speak his peace, I still wouldn't want his friendship. So what's the point? Just drop him.
We can blame the drink but that gives us the courage to do what we already wanted to do.
I wonder what would make this friend act out suddenly in such a self-destructive way, betraying both his best friend and his own wife. Seems like this guy has some darker, deeper issues to work through. Maybe losing his best friend will be a wake up call.
No, it's routine in California.
Drinking makes you impulsive.
He allowed himself to fantasize about her when he was sober, and then it came out when he was drunk.
@@melanieb2132 And, maybe she's a teacher and he listened to 1984 on the way over. It's kind of her fault.
@@JustinCase780 ?? What is your point, I'm not following.
@@melanieb2132 I was complimenting your point. You will get it.
I love and trust my wife when she's sober. I would not have left my wife with my best friend alone. The devil is always seeking whom he may devour. This guy should've guarded his wife, he bears some fault.
As messed up as it is, correct.
I would also wonder why my wife is choosing to be alone with another man. If I told my wife that I'm ready to leave the party and go to bed, it is implied that I am inviting her to come with me, so if she wanted to stay it would make wonder about her character.
100%
My husband's gay friend wouldn't stop texting him, making moves while I was pregnant with our second baby. He was also the best man at our wedding. He lives in a different state than us now. I was pissed, my husband asked what I thought as far as how he should handle it. He already had a plan for bringing it up to him, but wanted my thoughts. I told him I was pissed, felt betrayed since we were part of the same friend group and I had been the first to offer to open our house to him while he struggled through depression. I told him I was okay with him staying friends since my husband is the only positive friend he has. However, I made it clear that if it continued and he ignoeed my husband'sconfrontation, I was going to get involved and the relationship between them would end. But my husband respects the fact that I never want him alone with his friend ever again.
Thank you Doleny, you have an awesome attitude 😊
Interesting which "signals" the ex-bf chooses to see and which ones he doesn't. Jerod's fiance put her hand on the ex-friend's shoulder and gave him a nice compliment. And the ex-friend took this as a blazing sign to 'proceed with confidence!' But then... after Ex-friend kissed Fiance the first time, she pushed him away and told him NO. Yet he completely ignored that and tried to kiss her again!
Wonder if the other wife knows.
Who is else in waiting for the follow-up?
What happened when the ex-friend's wife found out?
How did she find out??
That’s the best of advice. The closure will come from him telling his friend that he did a bad thing and really fukd this one up..
Also mourning loss of 25 year friendship..it hurts bad. It's been 1.5 years. Still hurts bad. I value all relationships less now, they're just not what I thought.
There’s no salvaging that friendship, I’m sorry. You learned that he is willing to betray you & break your heart just simply because he “wanted to know what it felt like” to kiss your wife… what is there to even say to him after that? I can understand kicking his a*%, but beyond that, what is there to talk about??? Even if he said he was sorry, so what, who cares, that damage is done & he showed you how little he values you. Block him on your phone, on social media & if you have a “friend group” it could also mean walking away from all of them if they decide to remain friends with him.
Yes, his friend is an idiot. Some men are so weak. Any little gesture or compliment from a woman and they think that's a opportunity or invitation to jump their bones. It's ridiculous. These men need to get a grip. Also, some people just cannot handle alcohol and they do all kinds of weird and wrong stuff.
Some men take any conversation as a come on
It's true. Give a little bit of attention and they believe they have a lifelong love connection. That is why I do not bother to even make eye contact with men when I am out.😂
Men complain about not being complimented but they don't understand that if a man makes a pass or worse due to a compliment or minor attention, it's then always her fault for tempting him.
@@elibennett6168These males are the same ones who claim that women don't take accountability, meanwhile they shift their own wrongdoings on the woman. Been like this since the beginning of time. Lol. Even in the Bible, Adam couldn't take accountability for his mistake in the Garden of Eden and put all the blame on Eve and God.
Me and my homeboys know not to be with the wives alone. Absolutely not! Sounds like he was intentionally trying to be alone with her
I agree with the tough guy antics being immature but there's still a time and place for that. He grabbed her a second time I think that's pretty much time to go
The second my dude decides to go to bed I’m going too. I never stay alone with any one of the opposite sex. I have had “friends” hit on me throughout the years.
If he is out of the wedding, then he is out of your life!
Jerod I had a best friend like this for about the same time. One of the best decisions I ever made is living like he is dead to me. I don't wish him harm but I simply live that he does not exist in my world. I am better off that way. I'm sorry you are going through this.
I would never stay up late without my husband, even if theyre close friends of ours, out of respect for my husband. Its just a bad situation.
yup, more women (and men) need to understand this. You may not be looking for trouble, but if you keep putting yourself in situations where trouble is possible, eventually trouble will find you.
DAWSON’S CREEK EPISODE!! DR. J I’m cracking up
Probably the best advice I'm getting from this video is at the end: "don't communicate electronically, be an adult...call them on the phone, or meet for coffee."
He sounds like he was jelouse of you and he wanted to destroy your relationship by proving to you he could make her cheat . It backfired on him big time. He’s not a friend . End it
I’m sorry I laughed when John asked if he was singing a love song to his fiancé 😂
Guy needs to end that so called "frienship" because his fiance never needs to be around that "unsafe" man.
Why does John only say “I’m going to make a statement that won’t be popular on the Internet” when he says something reasonable? This is the same man who told a woman who cheated on her boyfriend and got pregnant that she did nothing wrong. Weird takes.
Wait what? When?
Yeah I need a link to believe that one
@@joem1950Same! That doesn't sound like John at all!
@Alvin-xs7db that’s pretty accurate. I get what he was trying to say, no one has the right to make you miserable indefinitely over past slights, but it was such an excessive diminishing of what she did which was what set the whole issue in motion that always sat poorly with me, which is why I remember it still. It wasn’t just me, the comments on that video are of a similar mind.
Link to that pregnant video?
The AUDACITY of this now former best friend is ASTOUNDING. When people do exceptionally foolish things, it’s often because they feel emboldened to. That dude really thought this guy’s fiancé/now wife, would be into it/go along, and she delivered the surprise of his life when she made it instantly clear that it was NOT okay, nor welcomed. This former friend is only “sorry” he got caught. REVOLTING.
Long before our marriage days I wouldn’t even try to make a move on a young lady that one of my brothers had even gone on a date with…
I’d forgive him for my own peace of mind, but also cut all ties. Once trust is broken it’s over… you can forgive and let go, but still not forget about boundaries. See ya!
If he does not tell is friend they are no longer friends. He betrays his soon to be wife. I know first hand.
OK, we inquiring minds (OK, fine...we nosy Nellies) need more deets. He said when he finally found out...how long was it and how did he find out? Does his wife know and how did she respond? 😬
My philosophy is that closeness between couples is a slippery slope. My beloved uncles best friend was involved with my uncles wife throughout my childhood and beyond. Be careful getting so close. And Dr, you too
I am a 60 year old married woman with grown children. I have been married for a very long time and prior to my marriage, I had lots of romantic experience and relationships with men. I am going to give my perspective on this. Yes, what this man's friend did was "wrong" and a violatation of trust.........HOWEVER.........I think it was very naive and unwise for the two spouses to go to bed and leave the other spouses alone together after having "celebratory drinks". I think it automatically sets up the potential for something like this happening. It gives an opportunity when the defenses are down (being drunk) and the fact that this man's fiance was openly complimenting the guy on his appearance and being super friendly with him gave off the impression that she was attracted to him. Yes it did. I am a woman and all my life I have known this. That is why I remain detached and stoic with my husbands friends. Also, I would not dare to have a female friend spend the night at my house, go to bed early and leave her alone with my husband after having drinks. This is a recipe for disaster. It doesn't matter how long you have been friends with someone or how much you think that you can "trust" them. Humans get attracted to other humans of the opposite sex, whether they are in relationships or not. Alcohol was involved and defenses were down. Hormones were at play. The guy was attracted to her and took the compliments as "flirting and attraction". Even in my past working career in the corporate environment I learned how simply being "friendly" was taken as romantic interest by my male coworkers and so I learned to give off a detatched "stoic" professional vibe with men, so as not to give off the impression of availability. We need to be very honest about human nature. Let's not be naive or things like this will happen. That being said, the friend DID violate this guys trust. The friend is very much "lusting" after his fiance and if the friendship continues.............the lusting will continue and probably become an obsession. This guy needs to decide if he wants to remain "best friends" with a man who is probably madly in love his woman. Because it won't go away. It will grow.
well said! I only wish more women didn't pretend to be naive about this.
Well put!
Sensible decisions could prevent a lot of these situations that are fertile for this kind of behaviour - especially when one considers alcohol and being 1:1 late at night.
I don't know the people in your circle, but the people in my circle are perfectly trustworthy with one another's spouses. I guess we truly love our spouses. I'm 64, and I have never experienced anything even remotely similar to this, and we all camp together, stay at each other's houses with or without our spouse, go shopping with one another, and when we were younger we drank together. I recently had my friend stay at my house for two nights by himself when I was here alone, and we had a few drinks before bed. I don't want him, and he doesn't want me, because he only has eyes for his wife and I am completely smitten with my husband. I find it unbelievable that there are so many people with such horrible friends and untrustworthy spouses. It's really sad.
@@willieverusethis Oh yes, in the past, I have had friends come on to my husband and we have gone to parties where my friends husbands came on to me when my husband went to the bathroom. These things have happened so many times thoughout my life. You are fortunate to not have any of this going on, but many of us do and have.
Love this show. Always such great advice.❤
I had to let go of a ten year friendship myself
A lot of people calling into Ramsey and John feel like they leave out details and make themselves the victim. This man sounds like a good man and I believe everything he's saying. I respect that
He had wanted her from the moment he met her. this is not a spur of the moment thing. You should tell his wife about this 2 timer.
I don't know John, unfollowing/unfriending someone on social media is often a clear indicator on where you stand with that person lol
Especially if you guys have been friends for a long time
I'm wondering if best friend tried to kiss his fiancee in an attempt to sabotage their relationship right before the wedding.
This would 100% end my friendship. I agree that after 20 years the betrayal would be too much to handle and I wouldn’t be able to trust them again.
I'm female and have been friends/ chosen family with the same guy for 27 years. No compliments are not reason to engage in this level of crap. I go hiking for a week at a time every year without either of our partners who hate hiking.
Do you and your male friend bone when you’re out in the wilderness by yourselves? Haha jk
I love this. Wish I had a pal!
@@wordsalad01 My friend and I are exact opposites in everything but hiking we don't like each other after a week. It isn't about not crossing boundaries because anything other then friendship is impossible.
@@RayF6126 so you go hiking for a week with another man and your man is cool with it? Either you are naive to the fact that this dude is into you or you two are the 1 in a million exception to the general rule.
That's wrong to go off with another woman's man. But that's my opinion.
I'm sure the guy has a history of this kind of behavior. His wife's in for a shock.
Of course I'd hear him out!...right after he catches these HANDS 🤜👊
😂😂😂
Yeah, Dr. Delony! Shout out to Dawson’s Creek! ❤