THANK YOU for watching-- we greatly appreciate it!!! If you're looking for more help simplifying clothes, you may find this video helpful: ua-cam.com/video/TrYFP63cNeA/v-deo.html Also, excited to hear your ideas for archiving family stories!!! :) - Dawn
I broke down my books collection. Packed Christmas presents for my family. Each granddaughter got a cookbook in their box from the year they were born. It felt so good to give something personal to each of them.
My kids are older (35 and 32). Years ago I found so many boxes of their school & artwork, report cards, soccer trophies (no one wanted the physical trophies), etc. I took pictures of it all and made two digital albums and gave them to each child. They LOVED it. Spent hours reliving all these beautiful memories in an 12x12 book that takes up almost no room.
@@ZZ-su8ph bet they trashed the physical copies after taking photos/making memory books. I kept the bottoms of my trophies, sans soccer players, and I use them as paper weights for my office desk 😁
For me, taking digital pictures of "unused & not being enjoyed" sentimental items was a wonderful way to let go of them! Now, I can visit that item any time I want w/o pulling out a box. As well, I asked for a blessing upon the next owner. ♡
My mom died when I was in my 30's, while she was living with me (due to her poor health). So I had a house full of things she loved and I loved because I grew up with them. I am now downsizing and getting ready to retire and am trying to figure out what to do with everything. I realized last night that I have loved these items for 20+ years!!! So if I decide to pass them on to someone else, even people I don't know but who can have their own journey of loving and using them, it's okay. They've been good to me. I don't have to love (i.e. own) them forever. And my son, who is only in high school, doesn't have to love them because my parents or I did. It's so FREEING. And as my best friend says, it's great to bless others with things that have blessed me.
I started asking my adult kids about certain items I have been saving for them. Surprised me how they don't even remember most of them. So I have started sharing the stories and not relying on the physical items to convey meaning after I am gone.
@@Dragonridermom I’ve started asking my kids if they want this or that, and they say “no” emphatically. Then they are still upset with me when I let their My Little Pony Collection go after they’d told me the same answer.
For my father’s 84th birthday we started sending him a question about his life once a week by email. He types the response and we are going to make it up into a book and add pictures. He has really enjoyed sharing these memories.
Dawn, years ago after a divorce, I had my engagement & wedding rings melted down & made into a lovely bangle with the stones set in it. I always received compliments on it. But it also always led to me telling the story of its origin because people wanted to know where I got it. After nearly two decades I realized that there was emotional weight to this piece of jewelry and I no longer wanted to carry it or wear it. I tried once to sell it but felt icky about turning this into cash. Instead, I donated it to a charity that matters to me, so they could auction it for much needed funds. Whoever won the bid was undoubtedly thrilled, they never had to know the emotion behind its creation and can wear it as the beautiful adornment it was meant to be. The charity benefitted from both our generosity. It felt like win-win-win and I’m pleased it’s not languishing in a drawer. In fact, I’ve done this with several heirloom pieces I no longer wear and it always feels like a secret treat I’m passing to another unknown woman to enjoy.
If you like the dishes, silver ware, or other sentimental item you might have give yourself permission to actually use them... everyday. Don’t worry about it breaking or getting damaged. I had a box of silver tea spoons that was given to me when I was growing up. It was a Swedish tradition.... a silver spoon when I was baptized or for a birthday etc. I had no use for pretty little tea spoons, so I was going to sell them or give them away. I cleaned them up. Then I changed my mind and decided to use a few to feed my grand babies. Yes, they were feed with silver spoons at my house... so much nicer then plastic. I also started using them as teaspoons for measuring spices when cooking.... again so much nicer then plastic. I wash them in the dishwasher. They have brought me much joy since I repurposed them and actually started using them. Out with the plastic...! 😉
This was my thought. I have items from my mom and she would never want me to just store something away, but to use them until they are worn out. And every time I use them, I (and my children) are reminded of her. Now that they are older, I have passed some things along to my children as they start their lives in their own apartments. They know their end table used to be their grandparents, for instance.
This is exactly the same sentiment for China dishes! Stop waiting for company-use them every day and enjoy how beautiful they are-OK if they have gold leaf you may have to hand wash them but even if you don’t, who cares is the gold goes down the drain! They are being used for their intended purpose! Loved this video
I have my moms spoons. She was a Swede too. They sit in a hand made mug by the stove and we use them everyday for coffee or to taste for seasonings while cooking.
I have only seen a couple of your videos, I want to say I never comment on videos other than my own, however, I absolutely must tell you that I think you are the sweetest, loveliest, most beautiful person! I can tell you were raised by wonderful parents, your countenance shines. I just had to tell you this. PS we are both farm girls 😉
I have to leave another comment. The clothes part of this video resonates with me so much that it brought tears to my eyes. I’m also a SAHM for 6 years now. I’ve been living in the same ratty sweat pants and old t-shirts that entire time. I went a few weeks ago and bought myself three pairs of jeans and 3 tops. I couldn’t believe how much better I felt about myself just by wearing real clothes. I no longer feel embarrassed taking my kids to their practices, games, etc
Just escaped a 38 year marriage of him cheating, gaslighting me, playing games, even pushing my 3 children away from me. "Being more gentle with ourselves," I felt that.
With the exception of children, your story is my story. I know you left that comment 10 months ago so I hope you’re doing at least a little better by now and realize he was just standing in the way of your true joy. Peace, friend!
Learning self-compassion has changed my life. I’m also now so much more compassionate toward others because it comes from my own cup running over. Please be extremely kind and gentle with yourself. I tried cracking the whip on myself for 40 years. Believe me, it didn’t work.
I had such a great time yesterday, sharing some of my quilting fabrics! A young dog groomer put a post out on our neighborhood application, asking for fabric! We had so much fun, going through my “stash”, talking about what would work for her furry clients! There was gratitude all the way around, and then today I received pictures of all the dogs she groomed, with adorable bandanas or bows! It was my own personal dog show, she is a great groomer, but she gets those dogs standing proud and looking right into her phone/camera! What joy!
👋🏻 I’ve never commented before on a video but I have been a subscriber for quiet some time. I wanted to share what I came up with when my family was having trouble saying goodbye to my Nona’s house that she has lived in for the past 65 years. I hired a real estate videographer to come and take professional shots of the home. Then we interviewed everyone in the immediate family where they had a chance to share a favourite memory of the home. (Ex. Son in laws shared first date stories or proposals. Cousins shared about the notes we used to hide for Nona around the house) It turned out so beautifully. And my Nona got to share a final summary of her time in the home. We kept it short and simple. Around 8 minutes so we could watch it again and again. The final shot was all of us waving on the front yard and the drone flew away. It definitely helped my mom and aunt let go of the house that they grew up in. And now we are able to share the wonderful memories with future generations. Thanks for sharing.
When my Grandpa passed away, a family member took beautiful pictures of the farm. He used them to make a wonderful picture book chock full of all the tractors we learned to drive on, barns we would play hide-and-seek in, and the back porch we would make homemade ice cream on as kids. ❤️
My father passed away quite suddenly about 2 years ago, devastating my siblings and I. We all kept some sentimental items from the house but the thing that made me the happiest to have hung on to was old voicemail messages that I never got around to deleting from my inbox while he was alive. To play back his voice telling me to call him and that he loves me is worth more than anything tangible. Stuff is not important. The bittersweet joy I get from something so seemingly insignificant is worth a fortune to me.
I bought my uncle a new phone after my aunt died. He used it but shortly, put the old phone back because my aunt had put on the message. I was so glad he did, because every time I called and he wasn’t home I got to hear my aunt’s voice!
So true, Melissa. Wish I had some recordings from my dad. I do, however, have the thank you card he sent me about a month before he died. I display it in October, his death month. I also cannot bear to get rid of a pair of his work gloves. They await use by my son or other male helper in my yard.
I found a recording picture frame at Hallmark. When my dad died, I played the voice recording back on speaker, and pressed record. Now I have a picture frame with 3 voicemails. 🥰
You need to record the voice mail off your phone cause i was saving one from a best friend that passed away and sprint just randomly started not saving more than a few messages sad but lesson learned
What you said really resonated with me. This year I found myself as a middle aged widow with step children who did not live with me. At his celebration of life and visitation, I asked people to share stories of the man my husband was and how they remembered him. Because of covid, family was not able to all be there. I placed this all in a large 3 ring binder to share. I never dreamed between the letters and stories that it would be 3inches thick. Because of your suggestion, I decided to place these stories with photos I have of him and create a book to give to family members and each of his children.
Thank you for your story!! My husband passed in April last year and I still have not had a memorial service. I believe it would help me tremendously to have people write about him.
My parents did three purges before my dad passed. Then my mother and I did a purge after he passed of all the things she wanted to toss but he held on to. Then she moved to assisted living about 3 months before passing and what she chose to take helped me understand what she valued. Unfortunately I still have a household full of stuff. Furniture my Dad built over 50 years of marriage, things from my grandparents that might have value, my mother’s quilting stuff (I quilt too) and my father’s workshop full of tools (I am also handy and love to build). My advice is don’t try to purge all at once. Sweep through your house repeatedly, removing layers (I am pretty sure Dawn has done videos on this method).
It’s definitely a journey! At 70, you still have time! Do it for you as well as others and don’t try to do it all at once! I hope you feel less overwhelmed soon!
You go girl! I am also 70 and just started decluttering. Diane had said in a video that letting go of sentimental items was not letting go of that person. The things are not the person. So I chose a few things that I will use with joy, kissed the others and thanked them for serving me, and let them go. Another video I was watching, a therapist, said keep those things you need and enjoy for "this stage of your life." That is the sentence that freed me from keeping things because I spent money on them, or because I may need them someday. Do it one category at a time, do it on your own time schedule, then move to the next category. The space you acquire through this process is amazing, freeing, and peaceful. Everything you do takes less time because things are not crammed together. So keep on trucking, you can do this. I have faith in your amazing abilities.
I thought I might be the only 70-year-old here - a very late-comer to decluttering and minimizing. It’s good to realize there are others watching who are well past the stage of life that Dawn is in. Even so, I’m learning so much from her (& Diana) and gaining insight and inspiration to get on with making the rest of my life better instead of regretting that I missed out on doing it when I was a young mom with kids at home. I too don’t want to leave all this stuff for the kids to worry about when I’m gone. It is overwhelming, but it is a comfort to know others are where I am ❤️.
When my mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, she declined treatment at 81. She had been a china painter and got her pieces out and let visitors choose something to take after their visit. Everyone cherishes her freehand painting. As your parents go thru their planning, something like this is a great remberance and declutters at the same time!
As the daughter of a hoarder who just died, I am not only burdened by her death, but also was burdened in her life knowing what awaited me upon her death. I started my journey of minimalism about five years ago when my health took a strong turn downward. I had to choose between spending my limited energy on stuff or on meaningful activities. After reaching a minimal state essentially (it is an ongoing process, of course) I grieved over all the lost time and money over the 33 years of our marriage from buying stuff that was a burden, not a blessing. I also believe God did not design us to have so much stuff, I believe it overwhelms us and burdens us, but we are used to it--just like extra weight on our boddies--so we continue in it without thinking about it and then wonder why we are stressed and fatigued. Had we not had the burden of so much stuff, would we have had so many Sunday morning fights getting ready for church? Would I have not gained the extra weight over the years stressing over getting my house cleaned up before visitors? I don't know, but I wish I didn't have to wonder.
So true. I am the daughter of a hoarder who is now in a nursing home 2,000 miles away from me. Her sister was able to empty the apartment, after a great of work, 4 people doing it, and a rented skip. Now there are 3 large storage units to deal with. :( And, as someone with this disorder will do, an expensive piece of jewelry will be found in a box full of old mail. So it can't all be simply thrown out, especially since they are still her belongings. Very difficult.
Tari, that really hit home. I'm there. That's exactly what is happening. I'm beginning to grieve, not over getting rid of the stuff, because it feels really good, but the coming to terms with the fact that so much stuff has only "disabled" my life. The time, energy, finances and emotions I spent acquiring and caring for this STUFF is making me feel very sad. What a waste. I have to let it go of that guilt. Thank you. ❤
Dear Tari, You don't have to wonder...it's okay. Just move ahead and try to stop grieving. We cannot live in the past (it's gone) or worry abut the future (it's not here yet) but just live in the present and let go of past worries. It won't help to keep going over situations you cannot do anything about. God is good and He will bless you from this moment onward! Live in love and positive thinking!
As I go through my sentimental items, I’m beginning to sometimes hear my mom say to me, “why are you saving that, Lynn? For goodness sake, get rid of it!”. Hearing that in my head helps me break lose of the item, and it gives me permission to let it go.
I hear my grandma's voice too. My grandpa was a bit of a hoarder and it drove her crazy. I know she would love me letting it go, even though I miss her.
Oh I have the opposite voice, my mom saying "but that was from so & so". Or "don't you want ANYTHING to remember someone by?" Even tho I have a few key pieces that hold enough memory for me of the rare relative I actually remember from childhood. My mom saved everything from everyone, and when she tries to "pass on" the family stuff, I refuse, and I feel like I'm breaking her heart, but I have no use for mismatched crystal from a relative I never met, or the dedicated corsage she wore at the her baby shower for me (I'm 37). I've SLOWLY convinced her to try swedish death cleaning, and I think having her imagine that someone out there WILL love the stuff more than me has been helping her, but I still feel like I am disappointing her 😕
Same! Though my mother was an enthusiastic collector of collectibles (and it drove me crazy though we were best friends). I *could * imagine her saying reasons why I should keep each item in her collections but, instead, I imagine her as she is *now* -- not as she was in life. I imagine her in the presence of God, in complete peace and joy and then she very naturally says to me, "That's not important, sweetheart. Let it go. Have peace and clarity in your life." That's how I'm getting through it.
WAY TO GO! I am flabbergasted how often fashion changes...and, just how much money others spend to try and keep up with it all....BUT, now that I say this ...I've been guilty of trying to keep up with the crafting industry....and, it too, can be VERY EXPENSIVE. TRYING so hard to stay out of the craft stores...and, instead of buying...crafting, instead. GOOD FOR YOU!🙂
Exactly! I saved some clothes for 3 years and now that I can fit them... I gave most of them away. It was too many to begin with, but I just don't dress that way anymore.
Same! I tried on a skirt yesterday for the first time in only a year and excitedly told my husband, "This fits me again!!! ...I don't like it, but YAY!" haha
I have a box of jeans that I moved with me 22 years ago from my old house. Written on the box "jeans that don't fit and probably never will"... Time to open it up and unload them!
I was thankful I saved my favorites smaller sized clothes as due to health issues I am on a forever diet, unless God heals me. I put one this morning and felt so happy how I was dressed!
For so long I was in that trap of starting a new hobby, buying EVERYTHING for that hobby, and then never doing that hobby..... I finally FINALLY realized that it was the prospect of learning a new hobby and the process of acquiring the stuff that was satisfying to me-- not the actual sitting there for hours and scrapbooking, or knitting, or whatever. I looked back at the one and only creative thing I ever stuck with-quilting- and got rid of everything else ( along with at least 2/3 of my quilting crap, tbh). That was so incredibly freeing.
This is so true. I realized that a lot of my hobby was about buying the stuff not using it. Now I've gotten rid of so much of it and my creativity is coming back. I no longer just stare at all the stuff and then just give up and put it all away.
I found you awhile back and my life is getting better! I grew up with a shopaholic hoarding mom and definitely learned the shopping part. Shopping makes me happy. Especially when I find a bargain. It gives me a sense of triumph. Since watching you, I have slimmed down my house significantly and continue to do so. These three things have been the hardest. The clothes, crafts, and sentimental items. I appreciate that you take the time to walk through the thinking process of having an item. I tried watching other minimalist youtubers, but they just tell you what to have and not have. I thought the lack of shopping would be awful. I received a catalog in the mail two days ago. This home decor catalog usually has multiple pages dog eared by the time I am done with it. I looked through the catalog, walked to the recycling bin, and threw it in. My husband was shocked. Of course there was great stuff in there! There was nothing I needed. There was nothing in there that could bring me the joy that the past month of decluttering has. Nothing in that catalog could make me happier than having room to play and interact with my family. I wanted to take the time to thank you. I still have a ways to go with our 6 bedroom 3 bath home, ahhhh too big. One day at a time! I can't tell you the last time I have felt so much joy and peace in my heart. Thank you for helping so many get to that place. Today I am tackling weeks worth of backed up laundry. When I get rid of what we don't need, I won't need to pile up laundry! Thank you again!
I inherited a lot of my grandmother's dishes. They were junk when she had them, and they're still junk, but I keep them, because of my mom. On a funny note, a while back I had some out, trying to muster up the courage to donate them. My 11 year old called me at work just crying one day. He had accidentally knocked them off the counter and broken them. He thought I'd be mad. Cue music for mom of the year award....made sure he was ok, assured him that I wasn't mad. Actually it was a huge relief, because I no longer had to make a decision.
Friends of my parents returned from a holiday in Portugal with a gift of a large, multi-coloured glass cockerel. They put it on the landing windowsill in the hope that someone would knock it off. It didn't happen. Now I know what they did wrong - they didn't find an energetic 11-year-old to borrow. I don't know what happened to it after they died. Perhaps my brother disposed of it humanely. ;)
A military PCS broke most of my grandmothers dishes. I liked them though. I don’t know what to do with what is left of them. Two dinner place settings. I don’t need 8 coffee cups or dessert plates if we only have enough plates for two.
You'll like this one - this year I threw away at least 12 pairs of nylons that were over 20 years old! They were all new and never worn, but clearly not part of my wardrobe or style any longer. It felt great.
I get that! I actually think I no longer own a pair of nylons. For years I had at least one or two pairs, even though I was moving here and there, because it was just a piece of clothing that you were supposed to have somehow. If I wear something that needs something like that, I much prefer leggings…
Dawn, would you casually mention in one of your videos that the local Battered Women’s Shelters or a thrift shop that supports them is a really good and a really needed and greatly appreciated people to donate to? Theses women and children are lucky to get out with their lives. They usually only leave with the clothes on their backs and have to start over from scratch. The women and children are devastated from just going through this. Thank you Dawn for the good work you are doing by teaching us valuable life lessons and how we can make our lives and the lives of others around us, and maybe people we don’t even know lives better. Thank you again.
Yes! And if you've seen Dawn's video on baby gear... it's a great place to donate baby gear if they will take it... yes they often just leave with very little. 💜
I’m actually decided last week that I’m pulling all my clothes from my online sites and I’m donating them to a women’s shelter this will clear a lot of space in my storage unit!
Off Topic...sorry! When we retired in 2017 we loaded up my husband's tools in the back of the truck, hitched up our camper, and began spending 6 months a year volunteering at various Christian ministries with an organization called SOWERs (Servants on Wheels Every Ready). We are having such a wonderful time! This life would not have been possible if we had not spent the years before retirement downsizing everything and eliminating all debt. I just had to comment after hearing you and Tom talk about loading up a truck and going to do projects for people. There are some of us living that life! (:
How about this for a motivational slogan: "I will liberate my excess stuff from the dark, dusty closet so that someone else can use it and love it!!" Now go and liberate your stuff!! Give it to someone who will use it and love it!!
I’m a 66 yr old grandma and have decluterred TONS, but still trying to find ways to deal with the sentimental items I inherited from my parents. A few things my kids have wanted, but things like my dad’s WWll uniform I really struggled with- what do you do with things like this? After praying about it I found out that my dad’s home town was making a WWll museum and they were delighted to have the uniform and a description of where he served in the war. I feel that I was able to honor my dad’s memory while at the same time provide something that the next generation can learn and benefit from. Now on to what to do with my grandmother’s wedding dress, all my dad’s writing and ancient family pictures. My goal is to get this all done before I die so my children are not burdened with it.
Sheryl F what a wonderful way to honor your dad with his WWll uniform! I have a suggestion about your grandmother's wedding dress if your children aren't interested in it. I can't remember what the group is called....Angels something or another but they cut up old wedding dresses for babies that have died at birth at the hospitals. They make cute little dresses for those precious babies to honor them who don't have a chance at life. I don't know if they have this in every state but they do here in Minnesota. I apologize for not remember the specific name of the group. They are volunteers who cut up and sew these baby dresses from wedding dresses donated. Just something you may consider for a new life for the dress. Also, look into a historical society about donating old photos.
Is it really beautiful? How about a museum? Our regular museum at home when I was a kid had one. I loved looking at it. There may even be special sewing museums somewhere.
Do you have a county historical society near you? They would be thrilled to get the things you have, so that people can see how others lived in past years.
I just wanted to tell you that I've been having a horrible migraine for about a week (I have IIH), and yesterday was binge-watching one of those house-flipping shows. I usually love these shows, and find them very relaxing, hence the binge. 🙂 But since watching about 432 of your videos about decluttering and simplifying everything in the home, all I could think when they showed the finished, staged homes was, "Look at all that junk everywhere!!! You can barely see the countertops or wall space! It looks like Home Goods threw up in there!" When I realized what I was thinking, I was very excited, because I realized I had begun to change my thought process, and was thinking like a tidy person, not a collector or one of those "I need one or two.. or more... of those" people. Thank you for that. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for that! I hope that this migraine goes away soon, because I cannot wait to really get started purging. I plan to be ruthless, but that is difficult when there is an ice pick thru my skull. I will be sending you before and after pictures, which you are free to use. My husband will probably photo-bomb them with a huge smile on his face! I wish I'd done this 20 years ago; I know we'd have all been happier for it. God bless!
THAT was a great opener! 😁 on that note, my girl was grabbing some extra sheets for her new place and saw my baby dress hanging on the wall! "you framed your baby dress!?" then she turned and explained to her man, "my great grandma made that dress for my mom when she was a baby. " I smiled because that's why I framed it! I enjoy this little dress. it's almost 50 years old and I didn't want it hidden in a closet anymore! I have a few more that I will stage simply because I enjoy them! thanks so much for emphasizing how to sum up our trinkets! it totally helps!
That reminds me of something my mom did for my daughter! My mom took my daughters favorite newborn onsies she wore all the time and made them into a teddy bear for her bedroom! ♥️
We have 2 baby dresses that were my Grandpa's and a photo with him in one of the dresses, very grandchild and great-grandchild has been photographed in those dresses. Living history is amazing and while I am hoping it will be a few more years the dresses are ready for the great-great-grandbabies.
I really REALLY needed to see this today! I have been so down on myself, I've gained so much weight due to hormonal imbalances I deal with. And I also felt like I wasn't worth pretty clothes and that it was pointless to do makeup. But, I do deserve to be happy in the season of life I'm in. I deserve to dress with dignity. Thank you! I also needed extra motivation to declutter right now. I've been feeling stuck. I appreciate you immensely, Dawn!
I got rid of the clothes that where to small, instead if i do lose weight i deserve to buy new clothes. And guess what 2 years later i started to lose weight.
My late grandmother wrote a history of how she met my grandfather, and their years together. She then had it self-published, and gifted a copy to each grandchild. It's a treasured item for us, and one that we can go back to whenever we want to.
I have to leave another comment. "When we bought this stuff we didn't know the future. We didn't know we would be a caregiver." I almost burst into tears. Yes. To this. Life has thrown us curveballs and we have to free ourselves from unspoken expectations.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” ~~Matthew 11:28-30 NIV
I was blessed that my dad loved to write. He was born in 1902, so he saw many changes and had the most wonderful stories. One day I asked him put these stories on paper! He did and it is my most previous possession.
Dawn, thank you for this message. Recently, while cleaning, I found five star shaped glass candle holders that I had grown up with. They were favorites of mine. Recently I went to hobby lobby bought a candle in each of my daughter and daughter-in-law's favorite colors. I mailed a candle holder and a candle, to each of my adult children with a card that had two old-timey pictures and the story of how much I loved those candle holders when I was a kid. My daughter just recently called me and told me how much she appreciated the story that went with the candle and candle holder and she was thrilled with the gift. You were my inspiration!
Thank you for this. I have coat length gray hoodie that I’ve only worn a couple of times because I hate it. And I have been beating myself up for what I spent for it. No more. As soon as I get up after writing this that hoodie goes right into the Goodwill box! I already feel better.
After moving twice in 2 years and having an adult child move back into the house I am still living with boxes in nearly every room 3 years later. 2020 was supposed to be my Declutter year but all the charities closed for donations. I have so much I need to give away. It breaks my heart to think I am going to have to take it to the dump so I just stopped. It's depressing looking at my cluttered house. I don't want to have a yard sale, I'm 60 and don't want strangers at my home. Hopefully some of our local charities will open for donations soon. Blessings to you and thank you for the tips.
Try putting it out at the curb with a free sign. My neighbor does that all the time and I have done it too, things I wasn’t sure anyone would want got taken! Then you don’t have to feel bad about them not being used.
I had some items in a cedar chest that were sentimental to me. I decided to put the items in a zip lock bag along with an index card that explained the story of WHY that item was special to me. Now after I am gone and my kids or grandkids see the contents, they will understand WHY I kept the thing ...
That's a fantastic idea! I encourage you to get those items out and show the kids and grandkids, and tell the stories often so that the words on paper can trigger the memories of YOU telling the stories - because that's the special part. My Gram was great at going through family albums and genealogy documents with us, telling us the stories. We all have a solid sense of family and heritage; there's a confidence boost and a sense of belonging in the world when you know exactly where you came from. I think too many families don't know their history, or don't think it's important, and that's terribly sad.
Hi Dawn, I have to thank you and your videos for giving me "permission" to let go of sentimental items. My husband and I just filled up the back of his truck with two sets of china (both my great grandmother's) that I have not touched or looked at in at least 17 years, knickknacks, tea sets and other breakable items that I literally never realized were such a heavy burden on my home and my mental inventory. Thank you, thank you I feel like an enormous weight hs been lifted!
I speak your language to my friends & family now. “I’m just not going to let the clothes taunt me anymore.” Or, “check your wallet the next time you shove this back in the closet... any more money show up?” lol. They usually respond just like I did the first time I heard you say them: “hm, never thought of it like that” or “you’re right.” Feels great to live this way & to share your advice. I always give you credit too. 😉
You always motivate me! I retired 2 years ago and I still have all of my ‘work clothes’ just in case I’d need them. Especially now, during a pandemic when we’re staying home, I never wear these clothes! They aren’t worth selling or even donating, so they’re going in the trash TODAY! Freedom!! 😊
I retired a year ago, so same here! I keep saving my business clothes just in case I go back to work part-time. I think i will box them all up and put them in storage for now!
I retired a year ago and recently gave all of my work clothes to my sister for a lady who works with her. The lady had gained some weight and couldn't afford a new wardrobe. Mine fit her perfectly!
@@kayhowell8263 I know several plus sized people who couldn't afford clothes then received entire wardrobe gifts from people like yourself. They absolutely LOVED them and the fact they were a gift made wearing them all the sweeter.
For those reading this, even if your clothes are not high quality, consider giving them to Goodwill anyway. They recycle cloth, too, selling it to rag companies. It helps keep it out of the landfill.
Kay Howell Beautiful! Now you are full of peace from your gift of charity instead of full of guilt for keeping things you paid money for and no longer need! Yay !!!🥳
I love the feeling of donating items to The Salvation Army because I know they do so much good to help in the community. So that helps me to part with things I know I don't need to keep!
I did the same with my clothes. My husband went shopping and I bought just a few things. Things I loved and things he thought I looked beautiful in. Guess what I exercised the next day and I've kept it up.
I have had my beloved grandmother's quilts in storage for 10 plus years not wanting to let them go but not be able to use them. Another of Dawn's followers suggested to me that I could have them made into Christmas ornaments to share with other family members. I absolutely love this idea and found it so freeing and happy that they can still have a purpose and bring joy in a meaningful way!
Yes,yes,yes on making a family history video! I took my parents’ home movies and put them to video about 20 years ago. Mom and dad narrated their memories as they watched the video the first time. It’s a natural conversation as they didn’t even think about being recorded. Just a few weeks ago my 93 year old mother, my sisters and I watched the video together. My dad passed away a year ago. It was so nice to hear his voice in the narration. We laughed and reminisced at the sweet memories. My young niece also enjoyed watching with us.
That is a wonderful idea and gift. I had gotten a book for my mom to fill out: Check this out: Grandmother's Journal: Memories and Kee... www.amazon.com/dp/1681881780/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_awdb_btf_t1_SksKFbGYED7BW?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1 Unfortunately she passed away before we could fill it out. So I may use it and start filling it out for my future grandkids☺️
@@Michelle-by9fp this was years ago when Technology was more primitive. I spliced my parents film together (my grandpa had the equipment to do that) and took it to a business that transferred the film to a video cassette. My parents dubbed it as we ran it through my camcorder on sound record. Several years later I took the video to a place called Transfer Me to DVD and had it put on dvds. . I made one for my parents and each of us 4 siblings. There are businesses that still do that. You’d have to ask about adding narration. I bet there’s a way.
I started a few years ago with the scanning of all the family photo’s, now i am making a family history with them, my kids live in Canada, i whant the grandson to know how is family, from Belgium, lived and whom they were...... and you gave me a great idea... i going to film my city..... Ghent, and al his beuatiful places, to preserve for the future, so he can see his roots when he is older
I recorded my father on 8- 60 min cassettes about 25 years ago and they have become such a priceless gift to me and my family. It's hard to explain but when I hear his voice on them it feels like being wrapped up in a warm blanket on a wintery day.
I hesitated to write this because I am NOT sentimental. I don’t know why. I was raised by a mother who was very sentimental. For some reason I do not feel an attachment to a person by something they owned or made. Some people try to make me feel guilty for this. I was very close to my mother and dad and grandparents and they all left possessions when they passed on but I only have a piece of needlework and a cooking pot that belonged to my mom and I use or display them daily. I feel that I honor my parents when in an appropriate conversation with our children and grandchildren, and sometimes friends, I can interject a loving comment or story about one of them or as I’m going about my daily homemaking I find myself thinking, I did that just like my mom did, or my mom would like how I arranged my houseplants because she taught me the love of plants. She would have been so pleased that I had these thoughts about her instead of the dishes or knick knacks stored away in the basement. Everyone is different so there are those of us out there that do not share others sentimental feelings.
I went through this when my Mom died. I am not very sentimental about physical items. These were her items, not mine, not my choice. I kept a few, sold the rest. Now, My Mom's best friend got so mad at me, she will not talk to me. I've struggled with this, the guilt she and others placed on me over 'stuff'
@@sableann4255 I totally agree, those items were my parents choices and they got to enjoy them. They are now gone and this is my life. I get to choose for myself. My parents loved me and would WANT me to do that! And even if they didn’t, that would’ve been their selfish hang up, not my problem. It’s JUST STUFF. I don’t need objects to remember my ancestors or why I love them. Carrying guilt over dead people’s things is crazy.
Re: sentimental items... it can be difficult to take in/on so many objects from past generation. And it isn't that we don't care, but many times there is simply not enough space. I look at it like, when you fill up your space with the past you have no room for the present. I love the idea of taking pictures of things and maintaining the memory that way- you can always look back at the pic or share it with others. The physician object can move on.
I am retired with one nephew. His parents have two large houses tastefully full. So I gave away china, nice linens and other household items to friends who are snowbirds with a second house to furnish. We were all happy.
Thank you so much for this , it has been so hard for me when I started to get rid of the stuff and started the journey as minimalist. I had friends that they made fun of me and saying that we can’t afford stuff anymore and our house looks so empty not to mention the shock when they saw the wardrobe! People are so horrible and uneducated. I love all your videos and I learned so much thank you xx
Part of what made things special is that they were harder to come by, therefore seen as valuable, and an asset to pass onto your children so they didn't have to spend money they might not have while they were young adults. Yes, advertising played a part, although most people didn't realize it. Who knew things would change so much.
Dawn, the knowledge you’re sharing is helping many overcome or avoid depression and anxiety, and I mean that. When you said you didn’t feel like you were being the mom you wanted to be before, that hit me. That feeling is a crusher and I’ve been there. I decided to do whatever it took to be the mom I wanted to be and that meant saying no to as much as I could: volunteering, etc. I had to honor my personality and mental bandwidth. I had to only have as much on my plate as I could feel a sense of mastery over. I was ruthless about saying no to others and guess what ? It was fine. My family benefitted so much and now I can look back with few regrets and much pride and gratitude to God. Thank-you so much !
I have such an easier time accepting myself as I am right now ever since I used your wardrobe decluttering videos. I am beyond grateful for the changes I have had in my life bc of your videos.
Wow, I needed this video right now this very minute because I'm throwing things out and something's are sentimental I'm having a hard time but I made a promise to myself that I would do this. Imliterally asking God to help me with it because I lost my mom less than 6 months ago but this has to be done I need to feel lighter I need to feel free I need to be able to manage these things and I have been up to my neck and over my head for years so thank you for giving us all permission to break the cycle of why we hold on to things
This too will pass. The intense grief will come & go for awhile. Might I suggest you seek out a grief group? My church had one when my husband passed & it REALLY helped!! As you are sorting items, remember your loved one is still in your heart even if they are NOT in the "stuff"!
I brought home a lot of sentimental things when my mom passed away 3 years ago; I thought I would use it. Little by little I've been able to get rid of that stuff as I realized it was the memories I had with mom and those items as opposed to the actual item. Have had to give myself grace and do it slowly. I'm down to 2 bins.
@@ginnyevans1035 I I lost my parents three years ago as well, and I probably kept more things than I needed to, but I figured I could always get rid of it later. So there are some things I’ve gotten rid of and I still have things from their house in my garage in boxes that I need to sort through, most of which is family photos and memorabilia from many generations past. It’s the sentimental stuff, so I’m not pushing myself to go through it quickly just because there is so much of it.
@@intherockies STRANGERS HAVE GIVEN ME MORE TIME THAN THE 2 PPL THAT SHOULD BE. I KNOW ITS WRONG BUT CANT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. ALL I CAN DO IS PRAY. AND CLAIM HEALING IN HIS NAME. CRAZY BUT TRUE
Dawn, thanks so much for sharing. I recently told others that it took 60 years and a stranger to give me permission to get rid of all this stuff. I appreciate you and the message so much. " so glad were friends"
So good! My mom lives with us and just came home from the hospital and into hospice care. Recording the memories is a lot better than the stuff. Thankfully, my mom rid her household of a lot of things before moving here.
I have three fitted wardrobes of ‘it may fit one day’ and a small one that does. It has to go. I needed the affirmation on gentleness. Feeling upset since seeing my pops the weekend - he has a way of putting me down like no one else can. And he doesn’t even mean it. Lol. But it still breaks my heart and makes me doubt myself. Carrying on with a declutter is cathartic when I am sad. I am worth the effort it takes to give myself a nice simple life and to rediscover and appreciate the things I have that I love.
Does he know that his words do that to you? Can you try to show him how his words hurt you? He may be devastated to discover that he’s hurting you like that? Writing it down might be helpful. Sometimes it’s hard to convey your meaning in an emotional situation but writing it down lets you order your thoughts and ensure you’re being clear. Just a thought. (My mother has fronto-temporal dementia and has gone from the most loving mother you could wish for, to saying hateful things to me. It destroys me. My family and friends have said to me that she would be devastated if she knew what she was doing. It is a comfort to know that. )
@@melissahoneybee8493 I used to try and tell him but he just protests that he doesn’t mean it like that and I should no better. Then acts all wounded so I end up feeling bad for him and I end up apologising to him! Drives me nuts. So there is little point really. But writing it down for my own benefit may help. This is a life long thing rather than a change with age. He has always been discouraging, and believes women are only there to help him or to look pretty. My psychologist suggested going no contact but I can’t bring myself to do that. He is still my dad after all.
So many things I could comment on here but I'll just stick to one, maybe two. My mom passed along to me lots of photos. I spent at least two occasions going thru them. The first time I asked my nieces and nephews if they wanted duplicates that I had of their parents who passed away. Then I put what I had in a photo album. The second go thru I had pictures of cousins from Europe that I didn't really know with no information on the back and I finally just pitched them.
Before I was becoming a minimalist I had a lot of clothes. My father gave me my Mother’s clothes when she passed away. We dressed a lot alike because she gave me a lot of clothes over the years. I have gone through my closets a lot over the years. I felt after she passed away that I should keep them forever. Now because of watching your videos I realize that it’s okay to let go of the stuff I am not using. So I am. I feel so much better. Thank you.
Years ago, I bought a book for myself. It had many questions, like what was your Mom like. what was your favorite thing to do as a kid. I passed it to my Mom, and asked her to fill it in as a present to me. Through it, I have her memories of her parents and siblings too. I love reading it. I have set a book like this up for my own child, so when I pass, it will be something to remember me by. These are the important things.
awwww dawn, you have no idea how many times you have given me "permission" for so many things. You really make it real life and its a behavioral change too. THANK YOU for being on UA-cam! When i am feeling stressed or spun out i usually go to your channel and just listen to you. I have a few others but i really like how gentle you are and you make the connection in my brain for me lol
Your video has encouraged me to renew my efforts to purge unwanted and unnecessary "stuff" that began when my husband died seven years ago and I was preparing to sell my home and move to another state to live with one of my children. Some of the novel suggestions for what to do with sentimental but bulky items reminded me of what I did with his clergy robe (heavy fabric with velvet front panels.) After much thought, I donated it to the costume department of the local Little Theater group. They were delighted to get it. That might be a place to donate some outdated clothing, too.
Thanks for the reminder that it makes a huge difference to "get dressed with house shoes" like the Flylady recommends, even for SAHMs. Self-care is a must for mom's! I've created my capsule uniform that looks good both inside and outside the home. Moreover, I stopped using harsh chemicals to clean, so it is safe to clean with my nicer clothes.
This video popped into my feed today and I’m sure you know about it, but in case you don’t… for sentimental things/ stories I am getting my parents Storyworth this year for Christmas. Each week they answer a question, add photos, etc and it’s bound into a book!! My mom’s house is full of “family memorabilia and antiques” and I don’t know any of the stories because there’s so much. Now I can learn the stories and have a book vs all the stuff☺️
My Dad was a carpenter. He remodeled and built homes. One year, right before Father’s Day, I drove him around our small county and took pictures of the houses that he had built or worked on. I made a scrapbook and gave it to him for his Father’s Day gift. He passed away four years ago. Now, that has become our gift. I can show my kids what their PaPa did with pride. I still cherish that time with him driving around and talking about all of the people that he worked for and seeing what he created. ❤️
My dad lives in assisted living. Because of that, I had to go through his house and clear it out before we put it up for sale. I have a couple of boxes of things that were my dad’s & grandpa’s. I was going through boxes we emptied out of our storage unit and opened the box with my grandpa’s stuff. I burst into tears when I smelled his cologne still lingering on things he hadn’t touched in years because he passed away nearly 10 years ago. I chose to give myself grace and I closed that box back up to be dealt with another day. Then I moved on to some other non sentimental boxes and was able to make some progress paring stuff down. It’s okay to not tackle the whole pile at once. Do what you can as often as you can. Eventually I will need to deal with those boxes, but for now I can focus on the other stuff and feel good about that. ❤️
This is good advice, kirbyourenthusiasm : ) to take one's time and not to rush the decision process - when I had to clear my mother's house I kept just 6 large boxes of stuff and it took me at least 10 years before I could make the finer decisions of what I actually wanted. Time does heal and it makes you stronger x
I don't know why being gentle with ourselves seems so hard - Thanks, I need a daily reminder to do that! Also, I'm with you about not liking the label "millennial." Or labeling people at all. I think it just ignores the individual and their feelings. So we don't really know a person by thinking of them as millennial, old, a race, hippie, young, minimalist, and all the other words we've heard. They might be someone we can relate to when we take off the label.
I cried all the way through this one, and thank you for the gift of release from guilt! I am the generation that finds great connection to my grandparents and great grandparents through things they left behind. As a wedding present for each of her grandchildren, my grandmother gave us one of her own wedding presents! She married in 1912, and cut glass was very big then, so many of us got some of her cut glass. I have furniture that was theirs too, and even though my grandfathers both died long before I was born, I feel connected to them through using their things. You are so right about sharing those stories with my children and grandchildren! I am in the process of writing a book about the family history ( my maternal grandfather's hobby ) and including pictures as well. I hope to make the connections meaningful to my children and grandchildren, not to make them want to keep it all, but to help feel part of a larger family that had a place in the world and did good. You can record family stories on the memories part of Family Search for free and include pictures too.
The way you treat “us” and I guess yourself 😀 is so kind, so gentle, and so non-judgmental!!! This is better than psychotherapy 💕 We all need this permission just to be ourselves. We shall get rid not only of the overwhelming clutter but more importantly of all other things not serving our well-being (aka guilt trips, bad habits etc...) To one persons it may be weight, to another wastefulness- how can I put in a dumpster perfectly good stuff. Thank you for being kind, unassuming, and talking about such simple things with so much grace 💕
one of the BEST things I've ever heard in getting rid of things from family members who have passed: keep 2 truly sentimental objects (maybe something they wore a lot (jewelry) and a photo of them with it) and make a keepsake box for those. You'll always have their DNA and the memories in the photos you keep and treasure the most, what more can you ask for ♥♥♥
Not that we need any additional "digital clutter" either, BUT I must say it has always helped me to take a few photos of any sentimental items before parting with them. I'm afraid if I get rid of the item, I will also lose the associated memories and feelings I have surrounding it. I may never even see that photo again, but it brings me comfort to know I haven't lost anything. And as I am scrolling through my photos on my phone, it brings back fond memories if I do come across them.
Prior to my state being in quarantine, I only used youtube when I needed to learn how to do something or I wanted to listen to a particular song. Since March of this year, I learned that there is a fantastic world of people making videos about a wide variety of subjects! All of the minimalism and decluttering videos I've watched plus some comments on a facebook group I belong to have given me the ability to 'let go' of many of my parent's things that I boxed up and took from their house to my house. Three of my 4 kids have moved out and I am turning one of the empty bedrooms into my personal retreat. :) It will be where I prepare my lesson plans, sew and store my materials. I plan on putting in a family heirloom china closet and jelly cupboard. The china closet will be to display the things I keep and I will only keep what will fit in the jelly cupboard. The jelly cupboard will hold the seasonal family items that I want to enjoy looking at throughout the year. While I was in quarantine, I also went through my closet and if I keep passing over a garment - it's gone! If I put it on and I feel blah in it - it's gone!
My Mum wrote her “memoirs” and saved it to CD and printed a copy. I looked at the CD once to make sure I could use it. Mum did that in her 50s. She also organised her funeral, paid in advance, and gave my sister and I a copy of the paperwork for that and will information. Smart woman our Mum. There was just us two girls and 5 grandkids and 3 great grandchildren by the time she died. My sister, turned Mum’s memoirs - with addition of photos - into a beautiful book that we each have a copy to keep. We were so lucky for the written story. Mum suffered from dementia in her late 60s and was gone in her early 70s. It was still a difficult time but easier knowing how prepared she had been. Sadly, Mum had torn up a lot of photos because she no longer recognised them. Most she removed from albums that had information in them. The book I treasure as remembrance of Mum, our family and my Sister. I reread different parts that highlight something I’d forgotten. If anything had been recorded I’m sure I’d have nothing left to view it on. Technology is bounding ahead so that anything 10 years old is unreadable. Inbuilt obsolescence. Just keep in mind that we can see, though sometimes not so well, photos that are 100 years old. Old newspapers and magazines while brittle have a longer shelf life than mobile phones or lap tops. It’s a balance. One beautiful photo in a frame is worth more than something you may not be able to see on your phone in a year or three. You don’t need to smother a room in photos but you don’t have to look like you’ve packed up and are ready to leave. 🦘
My mother did the same. She threw away my Dads albums of all his aunties And uncles. I was devastated when I heard about it. She threw away my diaries when I was overseas too which was upsetting.
So true. My mom created a digital memoir of sorts using digital photos and the file corrupted so all that work was lost. I now always make a printed book of our family photos each year because even though I've backed them up, multiple times, I don't trust it.
Wearing nice stuff in the house is sooo important. I used to wear stained and ill fitting old clothes, but since I invested in good house clothes (comfy, soft, warm, matching!), I am so much more likely to get housework done because I feel like I’m dressed and ready to get to work!
Stacy, you are not alone! I donated 3 large bags a few weeks ago and I still can't fit all my clothes in my bedroom. Kinda demoralizing. It's nice to see someone getting back in there for multiple pass throughs. Thanks for the motivation! Then there's Dawn's kind reminders of being kind merciful to ourselves. Baby steps right? ☺️👣✔️
It took me three passes to go through my closet to get rid of clothes. I'm finally finished. I got rid of clothes that filled a total of 14 trash bags (30 something gallon size) each filled three quarters, so it could be carried. I still have enough clothes to wear. Next item to tackle is the arts and crafts supplies. Of that I already donated two pounds of colorful crochet yarn, five or six pounds of wool, two pounds of plastic beads. I did get positive feedback from the recipients. Yes, I did spend a lot of money on the stuff. In my place it was lying around, gathering dust and taking up real estate. Now the people who got it are happy. The things now can fulfill their service. So the money spent on it is no longer a waste. I agree, Dawn, giving yourself permission to be happy and content today (I summarize it as such) is a break-through. It took me three years to come to grips with the idea that I determine what I want and then decide which things are going to be that "happy stuff".
I remember when I was a teenager my mom was decluttering a bunch of stuff and I kept saying why are you getting rid of that that's a happy memory that's you know something you should keep and she told me that even happy memories can be painful and can drag us down a bit and I thought that was really good advice I didn't get it at the time but I sure do get it now as an adult
Listening to makes me remember when my dad was sick, I had wished at the time I could have video him talking about when he was little in Holland and his time in the Navy. I always recommend to people to try and do that for the Grandkids so they can see and hear them. Just FYI..I'm making a sign for my bedroom and the front door "☆We need to be more GENTLE with ourselves ☆". May make as Christmas gifts too. Thank you, you have made it easier for me to declutter without guilt. My Mom always told me to keep things, you may need it.
I took a heritage preservation class in college and we had to interview one of our elderly family members for a term paper. My prof said that every year someone came up later and thanked him for the assignment because that person died shortly afterwards and it would have been lost. I know that in my years of doing family history this happened often it was like they wanted their story told and then they were ready to go on.
I really think my dad would have been a hoarder if my mom had not been there to reign him in. He was very sentimental and wanted to keep so many things from his parents’ home. He pushed a lot of things on me to take since my mom would not let him bring everything home from their house. So now when I watch videos like these and someone says “your parents wouldn’t want you to keep all of this stuff forever“ I always laugh and think “yeah my dad would!” 😂
My mom tells me the same thing, and I really hate it. She tried to force a large cedar chest on me (that I had no clue until today that it even had any connection to either side of my family - I thought that it came from a thrift store because I had never seen it until last year and it was in such bad condition) "so that you and your sister will each have one". I flat out refused - she had no clue why I didn't want it (I told her I have no interest in it nor room for it), and I loathe that she insists on it staying in my old room, because it just gets in the way and collects clutter because the room is way too small for it (I already insist that the secretary desk has to stay in the closet when I'm there, which she also can't fathom the reason for, but reluctantly agrees). The one my parents have had for 30 years has sentimental value for our entire family, though, because it was a wedding present to my parents from my mom's siblings, who carved their initials inside it, and we grew up with it (we've always stored extra blankets and comforters in it, and loved how things smell like cedar when we take them out); most importantly, there's always been a place for it in my parents' living room.
just felt like I needed an avenue....i video recorded Dad too, passed in 2017.. but he did sermon translation (voice) I held onto 3...but for some reason cant find it ....didnt sleep 24th or 25th this dec (just last week). im alright just...where _ARE_ the recordings....thought i came to terms til this vid dug up old wounds..a little =((
What wonderful feedback! My sister passed away in 1978 and many of the things that I had treasured of hers are falling apart. I decided to start taking pictures of these treasures and create a scrapbook. This way I can express my feelings in writing with the illustration, hold on to the memory, but let go of the actual item. I can spend time reminiscing or share with family and friends.
1975, I had an outfit that I was determined to fit into again. 45 years later that outfit would still be hanging in my closet and I would still be depressed that it didn’t fit me, and never would. We don’t deserve the punishment we give ourselves.
I just went through my dresser and closet and realized most of my clothes don’t fit. Many were given to me, and I honestly don’t remember if I could wear them when I got them. I have so many craft supplies I intended to use that I know now I never will use, so I’m going to tackle that next. Still mustering up the courage to address the sentimental items.
I think the best mementos from family members are the ones we can use regularly that have meaning in our relationship with that person. I have one grandmother's sewing caddy, and I use it for whatever my current craft project is. I also have one grandmother's napkin holder - it was on her kitchen table all my life, and held two decks of cards. She taught all of us grandkids how to play various solitaire games - I think it was to keep us occupied while the adults visited. The napkin holder brings up some of the best memories of my childhood, to the point where I can hear the hum of her refrigerator and the soft bubbling of the aquarium under the quiet shuffle and snap of cards being placed on the table. Peaceful contentment. I just don't think a photo would be quite the same, somehow.
Dawn, thank you for this sweet post. It struck a chord with me because I am wrestling with downsizing. The physicality of lugging boxes and sifting through things is daunting! You have sparked ideas that hadn't occurred to me! I only found you recently. I love to hear your giggle! I love the way you an Tom interact. You are a breath of fresh air. I will soon turn 81 and now I know how I can "save stuff" without heavy lifting and guilt! I think I deserve a treat for FINALLY grabbing a clue 😂! God bless you and yours! I'll see you in another video soon!❤️
I am thrilled to have found your video. I have had a hard time getting rid of sentimental items and I am so glad that you said to be gentle with yourself about items. Now that I am 63 and my daughter said she doesn't want to be stuck like I was cleaning out our stuff. We already have downsized but I find that I am ready to part with things that I don't want by donating them to charity. My parents saved everything and had many hobbies that brought lots of stuff with them. I was the one to clean out 46 yrs. of their belongings. It was hard to do and we finally had to throw out items. I felt guilty about that for years.
When you said be gentle with yourself it brought tears to my eyes as since I lost my mum 6 months ago I've been I've been in a dark place and struggling on so many levels with my life, the situation and my weight, like the last you mentioned it felt good to hear the words "Be gentle on yourself" as like she said it feels like permission to do that and not feel guilty or uncomfortable about it. I may not be able to change things that have happened but I can work on letting myself just be for now and not put so much pressure to be/look the way that that I think I should in light of all that has happened, so thank you Dawn for posting this, I really needed to hear this x
Grief is really hard work. Give yourself as much grace as you would a good friend going through a hard time. And keep doing it when the grief grabs you again.
THANK YOU for watching-- we greatly appreciate it!!! If you're looking for more help simplifying clothes, you may find this video helpful: ua-cam.com/video/TrYFP63cNeA/v-deo.html Also, excited to hear your ideas for archiving family stories!!! :) - Dawn
Pick you guys home
Thank you. For the positive notes on decluttering. There is a website called family search where you can upload
@@dianescott2459 I love Family Search!!!
This particular video was so needed and special. Thank you!
I broke down my books collection. Packed Christmas presents for my family. Each granddaughter got a cookbook in their box from the year they were born. It felt so good to give something personal to each of them.
My kids are older (35 and 32). Years ago I found so many boxes of their school & artwork, report cards, soccer trophies (no one wanted the physical trophies), etc. I took pictures of it all and made two digital albums and gave them to each child. They LOVED it. Spent hours reliving all these beautiful memories in an 12x12 book that takes up almost no room.
What did you do with the physical stuff?
@@ZZ-su8ph bet they trashed the physical copies after taking photos/making memory books.
I kept the bottoms of my trophies, sans soccer players, and I use them as paper weights for my office desk 😁
For me, taking digital pictures of "unused & not being enjoyed" sentimental items was a wonderful way to let go of them! Now, I can visit that item any time I want w/o pulling out a box. As well, I asked for a blessing upon the next owner. ♡
I ve thought about doing the same thing. I'm glad I saw your comment. I guess i should do it!!
My mom died when I was in my 30's, while she was living with me (due to her poor health). So I had a house full of things she loved and I loved because I grew up with them. I am now downsizing and getting ready to retire and am trying to figure out what to do with everything. I realized last night that I have loved these items for 20+ years!!! So if I decide to pass them on to someone else, even people I don't know but who can have their own journey of loving and using them, it's okay. They've been good to me. I don't have to love (i.e. own) them forever. And my son, who is only in high school, doesn't have to love them because my parents or I did. It's so FREEING. And as my best friend says, it's great to bless others with things that have blessed me.
This is wonderful
I started asking my adult kids about certain items I have been saving for them. Surprised me how they don't even remember most of them. So I have started sharing the stories and not relying on the physical items to convey meaning after I am gone.
@@Dragonridermom I’ve started asking my kids if they want this or that, and they say “no” emphatically. Then they are still upset with me when I let their My Little Pony Collection go after they’d told me the same answer.
Yes. 💗
For my father’s 84th birthday we started sending him a question about his life once a week by email. He types the response and we are going to make it up into a book and add pictures. He has really enjoyed sharing these memories.
That's a great idea.
I love that idea!
Brilliant,
That is such a good idea!
Love this!!
Dawn, years ago after a divorce, I had my engagement & wedding rings melted down & made into a lovely bangle with the stones set in it. I always received compliments on it. But it also always led to me telling the story of its origin because people wanted to know where I got it.
After nearly two decades I realized that there was emotional weight to this piece of jewelry and I no longer wanted to carry it or wear it. I tried once to sell it but felt icky about turning this into cash. Instead, I donated it to a charity that matters to me, so they could auction it for much needed funds. Whoever won the bid was undoubtedly thrilled, they never had to know the emotion behind its creation and can wear it as the beautiful adornment it was meant to be. The charity benefitted from both our generosity. It felt like win-win-win and I’m pleased it’s not languishing in a drawer. In fact, I’ve done this with several heirloom pieces I no longer wear and it always feels like a secret treat I’m passing to another unknown woman to enjoy.
If you like the dishes, silver ware, or other sentimental item you might have give yourself permission to actually use them... everyday. Don’t worry about it breaking or getting damaged. I had a box of silver tea spoons that was given to me when I was growing up. It was a Swedish tradition.... a silver spoon when I was baptized or for a birthday etc. I had no use for pretty little tea spoons, so I was going to sell them or give them away. I cleaned them up. Then I changed my mind and decided to use a few to feed my grand babies. Yes, they were feed with silver spoons at my house... so much nicer then plastic. I also started using them as teaspoons for measuring spices when cooking.... again so much nicer then plastic. I wash them in the dishwasher. They have brought me much joy since I repurposed them and actually started using them. Out with the plastic...! 😉
I agree I have started doing the same thing. Items are ment to enjoy. Life is short use the things you love not hide them away.
This was my thought. I have items from my mom and she would never want me to just store something away, but to use them until they are worn out. And every time I use them, I (and my children) are reminded of her. Now that they are older, I have passed some things along to my children as they start their lives in their own apartments. They know their end table used to be their grandparents, for instance.
I have some from Iceland . I am going to take them out , polish them and use them. Thank you for this great idea!!!!!!!
This is exactly the same sentiment for China dishes! Stop waiting for company-use them every day and enjoy how beautiful they are-OK if they have gold leaf you may have to hand wash them but even if you don’t, who cares is the gold goes down the drain! They are being used for their intended purpose! Loved this video
I have my moms spoons. She was a Swede too. They sit in a hand made mug by the stove and we use them everyday for coffee or to taste for seasonings while cooking.
I have only seen a couple of your videos, I want to say I never comment on videos other than my own, however, I absolutely must tell you that I think you are the sweetest, loveliest, most beautiful person! I can tell you were raised by wonderful parents, your countenance shines. I just had to tell you this.
PS we are both farm girls 😉
Wow, thank you!! That means more than you know!! ❤️
Dude, I love their channel too! I watch it when I am homesick for my own Grandmother.. 💜
I agree. Couldn’t have said it better.
I have to leave another comment. The clothes part of this video resonates with me so much that it brought tears to my eyes. I’m also a SAHM for 6 years now. I’ve been living in the same ratty sweat pants and old t-shirts that entire time. I went a few weeks ago and bought myself three pairs of jeans and 3 tops. I couldn’t believe how much better I felt about myself just by wearing real clothes. I no longer feel embarrassed taking my kids to their practices, games, etc
This is SO awesome!!! I believe this will inspire others, too!!! THANK YOU!!!
Get dressed is a way to express our identity. I’m so glad for you!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻😊🇧🇷
Thank you for your inspiring comment. I knew it was important when I wanted to ask "What are real clothes ?"
Soo happy you did that for yourself ! You deserve it !
@@chellybabyme anything other that ratty sweatpants and old t shirt
Just escaped a 38 year marriage of him cheating, gaslighting me, playing games, even pushing my 3 children away from me. "Being more gentle with ourselves," I felt that.
Bravo. Serve the Lord; not the wicked.
well done!
With the exception of children, your story is my story.
I know you left that comment 10 months ago so I hope you’re doing at least a little better by now and realize he was just standing in the way of your true joy.
Peace, friend!
Hope you have recovered your energy and are enjoying your new gentle life. ❤
It is easier to be gentle to others then to ourselves. I never hold others to the same standards that I have for myself.
Right!?!?!
Christ says to love others as we love ourselves. So apparently we are suppose to love ourselves too!
Agreed!!!
We are our own worst critics and need to learn to care abut ourselves.
Learning self-compassion has changed my life. I’m also now so much more compassionate toward others because it comes from my own cup running over. Please be extremely kind and gentle with yourself. I tried cracking the whip on myself for 40 years. Believe me, it didn’t work.
I had such a great time yesterday, sharing some of my quilting fabrics!
A young dog groomer put a post out on our neighborhood application, asking for fabric!
We had so much fun, going through my “stash”, talking about what would work for her furry clients!
There was gratitude all the way around, and then today I received pictures of all the dogs she groomed, with adorable bandanas or bows! It was my own personal dog show, she is a great groomer, but she gets those dogs standing proud and looking right into her phone/camera! What joy!
What a great use for your fabric! 💗
👋🏻 I’ve never commented before on a video but I have been a subscriber for quiet some time. I wanted to share what I came up with when my family was having trouble saying goodbye to my Nona’s house that she has lived in for the past 65 years.
I hired a real estate videographer to come and take professional shots of the home. Then we interviewed everyone in the immediate family where they had a chance to share a favourite memory of the home. (Ex. Son in laws shared first date stories or proposals. Cousins shared about the notes we used to hide for Nona around the house)
It turned out so beautifully. And my Nona got to share a final summary of her time in the home. We kept it short and simple. Around 8 minutes so we could watch it again and again.
The final shot was all of us waving on the front yard and the drone flew away.
It definitely helped my mom and aunt let go of the house that they grew up in. And now we are able to share the wonderful memories with future generations.
Thanks for sharing.
This is such a cool idea! Thank you for sharing!!! 💕
Every item should have and keep a memory
How cool 😭🥰
What a wonderful idea!
That is beautiful! What a wonderful idea.❤❤❤
When my Grandpa passed away, a family member took beautiful pictures of the farm. He used them to make a wonderful picture book chock full of all the tractors we learned to drive on, barns we would play hide-and-seek in, and the back porch we would make homemade ice cream on as kids. ❤️
My father passed away quite suddenly about 2 years ago, devastating my siblings and I. We all kept some sentimental items from the house but the thing that made me the happiest to have hung on to was old voicemail messages that I never got around to deleting from my inbox while he was alive. To play back his voice telling me to call him and that he loves me is worth more than anything tangible. Stuff is not important. The bittersweet joy I get from something so seemingly insignificant is worth a fortune to me.
I bought my uncle a new phone after my aunt died. He used it but shortly, put the old phone back because my aunt had put on the message. I was so glad he did, because every time I called and he wasn’t home I got to hear my aunt’s voice!
So true, Melissa. Wish I had some recordings from my dad. I do, however, have the thank you card he sent me about a month before he died. I display it in October, his death month. I also cannot bear to get rid of a pair of his work gloves. They await use by my son or other male helper in my yard.
I found a recording picture frame at Hallmark. When my dad died, I played the voice recording back on speaker, and pressed record. Now I have a picture frame with 3 voicemails. 🥰
You need to record the voice mail off your phone cause i was saving one from a best friend that passed away and sprint just randomly started not saving more than a few messages sad but lesson learned
My son died and I keep his voice mail. Since then, I save one from my kids and grandkids till I get another.
What you said really resonated with me. This year I found myself as a middle aged widow with step children who did not live with me. At his celebration of life and visitation, I asked people to share stories of the man my husband was and how they remembered him. Because of covid, family was not able to all be there. I placed this all in a large 3 ring binder to share. I never dreamed between the letters and stories that it would be 3inches thick. Because of your suggestion, I decided to place these stories with photos I have of him and create a book to give to family members and each of his children.
Thank you for your story!! My husband passed in April last year and I still have not had a memorial service. I believe it would help me tremendously to have people write about him.
Very thoughtful 💞
At 70, I need to downsize and uncluttered. I don’t want to leave my “stuff “ for others to dispose of.........but it’s still overwhelming ❤️
My parents did three purges before my dad passed. Then my mother and I did a purge after he passed of all the things she wanted to toss but he held on to. Then she moved to assisted living about 3 months before passing and what she chose to take helped me understand what she valued. Unfortunately I still have a household full of stuff. Furniture my Dad built over 50 years of marriage, things from my grandparents that might have value, my mother’s quilting stuff (I quilt too) and my father’s workshop full of tools (I am also handy and love to build). My advice is don’t try to purge all at once. Sweep through your house repeatedly, removing layers (I am pretty sure Dawn has done videos on this method).
It’s definitely a journey! At 70, you still have time! Do it for you as well as others and don’t try to do it all at once! I hope you feel less overwhelmed soon!
I feel with you
You go girl! I am also 70 and just started decluttering. Diane had said in a video that letting go of sentimental items was not letting go of that person. The things are not the person. So I chose a few things that I will use with joy, kissed the others and thanked them for serving me, and let them go. Another video I was watching, a therapist, said keep those things you need and enjoy for "this stage of your life." That is the sentence that freed me from keeping things because I spent money on them, or because I may need them someday. Do it one category at a time, do it on your own time schedule, then move to the next category. The space you acquire through this process is amazing, freeing, and peaceful. Everything you do takes less time because things are not crammed together. So keep on trucking, you can do this. I have faith in your amazing abilities.
I thought I might be the only 70-year-old here - a very late-comer to decluttering and minimizing. It’s good to realize there are others watching who are well past the stage of life that Dawn is in. Even so, I’m learning so much from her (& Diana) and gaining insight and inspiration to get on with making the rest of my life better instead of regretting that I missed out on doing it when I was a young mom with kids at home. I too don’t want to leave all this stuff for the kids to worry about when I’m gone. It is overwhelming, but it is a comfort to know others are where I am ❤️.
When my mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, she declined treatment at 81. She had been a china painter and got her pieces out and let visitors choose something to take after their visit. Everyone cherishes her freehand painting. As your parents go thru their planning, something like this is a great remberance and declutters at the same time!
As the daughter of a hoarder who just died, I am not only burdened by her death, but also was burdened in her life knowing what awaited me upon her death. I started my journey of minimalism about five years ago when my health took a strong turn downward. I had to choose between spending my limited energy on stuff or on meaningful activities.
After reaching a minimal state essentially (it is an ongoing process, of course) I grieved over all the lost time and money over the 33 years of our marriage from buying stuff that was a burden, not a blessing.
I also believe God did not design us to have so much stuff, I believe it overwhelms us and burdens us, but we are used to it--just like extra weight on our boddies--so we continue in it without thinking about it and then wonder why we are stressed and fatigued.
Had we not had the burden of so much stuff, would we have had so many Sunday morning fights getting ready for church? Would I have not gained the extra weight over the years stressing over getting my house cleaned up before visitors? I don't know, but I wish I didn't have to wonder.
So true. I am the daughter of a hoarder who is now in a nursing home 2,000 miles away from me. Her sister was able to empty the apartment, after a great of work, 4 people doing it, and a rented skip. Now there are 3 large storage units to deal with. :( And, as someone with this disorder will do, an expensive piece of jewelry will be found in a box full of old mail. So it can't all be simply thrown out, especially since they are still her belongings. Very difficult.
Tari, that really hit home. I'm there. That's exactly what is happening. I'm beginning to grieve, not over getting rid of the stuff, because it feels really good, but the coming to terms with the fact that so much stuff has only "disabled" my life. The time, energy, finances and emotions I spent acquiring and caring for this STUFF is making me feel very sad. What a waste. I have to let it go of that guilt. Thank you. ❤
Thank you for the wake up call God Bless you 🙏
@@jenniferwright8355
❤️
Dear Tari, You don't have to wonder...it's okay. Just move ahead and try to stop grieving. We cannot live in the past (it's gone) or worry abut the future (it's not here yet) but just live in the present and let go of past worries. It won't help to keep going over situations you cannot do anything about. God is good and He will bless you from this moment onward! Live in love and positive thinking!
As I go through my sentimental items, I’m beginning to sometimes hear my mom say to me, “why are you saving that, Lynn? For goodness sake, get rid of it!”. Hearing that in my head helps me break lose of the item, and it gives me permission to let it go.
I hear my grandma's voice too. My grandpa was a bit of a hoarder and it drove her crazy. I know she would love me letting it go, even though I miss her.
Oh I have the opposite voice, my mom saying "but that was from so & so". Or "don't you want ANYTHING to remember someone by?" Even tho I have a few key pieces that hold enough memory for me of the rare relative I actually remember from childhood.
My mom saved everything from everyone, and when she tries to "pass on" the family stuff, I refuse, and I feel like I'm breaking her heart, but I have no use for mismatched crystal from a relative I never met, or the dedicated corsage she wore at the her baby shower for me (I'm 37). I've SLOWLY convinced her to try swedish death cleaning, and I think having her imagine that someone out there WILL love the stuff more than me has been helping her, but I still feel like I am disappointing her 😕
Same! Though my mother was an enthusiastic collector of collectibles (and it drove me crazy though we were best friends). I *could * imagine her saying reasons why I should keep each item in her collections but, instead, I imagine her as she is *now* -- not as she was in life. I imagine her in the presence of God, in complete peace and joy and then she very naturally says to me, "That's not important, sweetheart. Let it go. Have peace and clarity in your life." That's how I'm getting through it.
I stopped wasting my money on "the latest fashions" and started buy things that were MY STYLE!
I look better because I feel better.
WAY TO GO!
I am flabbergasted how often fashion changes...and, just how much money others spend to try and keep up with it all....BUT, now that I say this ...I've been guilty of trying to keep up with the crafting industry....and, it too, can be VERY EXPENSIVE.
TRYING so hard to stay out of the craft stores...and, instead of buying...crafting, instead.
GOOD FOR YOU!🙂
As I’ve just dried my tears from feeling so bad about myself, I appreciate your kindness and help. Maybe one step toward less guilt is possible.
Prayers. You are worth it!
Sounds like you’ve already taken an important first step! You truly are worth it, you are worthy because you exist. That’s enough.❤
I saved clothes I Wanted to fit in and by the time I lost the weight, I did not like those clothes anymore anyway.
Same here. Style changes all the time as so is my taste 😊
Exactly! I saved some clothes for 3 years and now that I can fit them... I gave most of them away. It was too many to begin with, but I just don't dress that way anymore.
Same! I tried on a skirt yesterday for the first time in only a year and excitedly told my husband, "This fits me again!!! ...I don't like it, but YAY!" haha
I have a box of jeans that I moved with me 22 years ago from my old house. Written on the box "jeans that don't fit and probably never will"...
Time to open it up and unload them!
I was thankful I saved my favorites smaller sized clothes as due to health issues I am on a forever diet, unless God heals me. I put one this morning and felt so happy how I was dressed!
We evolve. We change. We grow. We outgrow things. We are constantly changing. It’s the beauty about us!
For so long I was in that trap of starting a new hobby, buying EVERYTHING for that hobby, and then never doing that hobby..... I finally FINALLY realized that it was the prospect of learning a new hobby and the process of acquiring the stuff that was satisfying to me-- not the actual sitting there for hours and scrapbooking, or knitting, or whatever. I looked back at the one and only creative thing I ever stuck with-quilting- and got rid of everything else ( along with at least 2/3 of my quilting crap, tbh). That was so incredibly freeing.
Wow, this speaks to me. I have done the same with different hobbies. “Acquiring” was more fun than actually “doing”.
This is so true. I realized that a lot of my hobby was about buying the stuff not using it. Now I've gotten rid of so much of it and my creativity is coming back. I no longer just stare at all the stuff and then just give up and put it all away.
I found you awhile back and my life is getting better! I grew up with a shopaholic hoarding mom and definitely learned the shopping part. Shopping makes me happy. Especially when I find a bargain. It gives me a sense of triumph. Since watching you, I have slimmed down my house significantly and continue to do so. These three things have been the hardest. The clothes, crafts, and sentimental items. I appreciate that you take the time to walk through the thinking process of having an item. I tried watching other minimalist youtubers, but they just tell you what to have and not have. I thought the lack of shopping would be awful. I received a catalog in the mail two days ago. This home decor catalog usually has multiple pages dog eared by the time I am done with it. I looked through the catalog, walked to the recycling bin, and threw it in. My husband was shocked. Of course there was great stuff in there! There was nothing I needed. There was nothing in there that could bring me the joy that the past month of decluttering has. Nothing in that catalog could make me happier than having room to play and interact with my family. I wanted to take the time to thank you. I still have a ways to go with our 6 bedroom 3 bath home, ahhhh too big. One day at a time! I can't tell you the last time I have felt so much joy and peace in my heart. Thank you for helping so many get to that place. Today I am tackling weeks worth of backed up laundry. When I get rid of what we don't need, I won't need to pile up laundry! Thank you again!
I inherited a lot of my grandmother's dishes. They were junk when she had them, and they're still junk, but I keep them, because of my mom. On a funny note, a while back I had some out, trying to muster up the courage to donate them. My 11 year old called me at work just crying one day. He had accidentally knocked them off the counter and broken them. He thought I'd be mad. Cue music for mom of the year award....made sure he was ok, assured him that I wasn't mad. Actually it was a huge relief, because I no longer had to make a decision.
Wonderful!
Friends of my parents returned from a holiday in Portugal with a gift of a large, multi-coloured glass cockerel.
They put it on the landing windowsill in the hope that someone would knock it off. It didn't happen.
Now I know what they did wrong - they didn't find an energetic 11-year-old to borrow. I don't know what happened to it after they died. Perhaps my brother disposed of it humanely. ;)
Wow, problem solved
A military PCS broke most of my grandmothers dishes. I liked them though. I don’t know what to do with what is left of them. Two dinner place settings. I don’t need 8 coffee cups or dessert plates if we only have enough plates for two.
The universe responds 😉 🕊
You'll like this one - this year I threw away at least 12 pairs of nylons that were over 20 years old! They were all new and never worn, but clearly not part of my wardrobe or style any longer. It felt great.
I get that! I actually think I no longer own a pair of nylons. For years I had at least one or two pairs, even though I was moving here and there, because it was just a piece of clothing that you were supposed to have somehow. If I wear something that needs something like that, I much prefer leggings…
Someone may have wanted your unused nylons. You could have donated them. You might have had an even greater feeling.
Please donate for now on. Don't throw away if wearable. No matter how old, somebody will use. ❤️
Dawn, would you casually mention in one of your videos that the local Battered Women’s Shelters or a thrift shop that supports them is a really good and a really needed and greatly appreciated people to donate to? Theses women and children are lucky to get out with their lives. They usually only leave with the clothes on their backs and have to start over from scratch. The women and children are devastated from just going through this. Thank you Dawn for the good work you are doing by teaching us valuable life lessons and how we can make our lives and the lives of others around us, and maybe people we don’t even know lives better. Thank you again.
Yes! And if you've seen Dawn's video on baby gear... it's a great place to donate baby gear if they will take it... yes they often just leave with very little. 💜
I’m actually decided last week that I’m pulling all my clothes from my online sites and I’m donating them to a women’s shelter this will clear a lot of space in my storage unit!
Old suitcases and backpacks too.
This comment should have like 5 million likes.
@@mcarolivm7280 Great tip!! I wouldn't have thought of a shelter needing those items!!
You are such a treasure, Dawn. Thank you for being such an encourager and so many people need a cheerleader. Even kids our age (82)!😂
God bless!
Off Topic...sorry! When we retired in 2017 we loaded up my husband's tools in the back of the truck, hitched up our camper, and began spending 6 months a year volunteering at various Christian ministries with an organization called SOWERs (Servants on Wheels Every Ready). We are having such a wonderful time! This life would not have been possible if we had not spent the years before retirement downsizing everything and eliminating all debt. I just had to comment after hearing you and Tom talk about loading up a truck and going to do projects for people. There are some of us living that life! (:
That's awesome!
That’s so wonderful!
What wonderful memories you are making.
How about this for a motivational slogan: "I will liberate my excess stuff from the dark, dusty closet so that someone else can use it and love it!!" Now go and liberate your stuff!! Give it to someone who will use it and love it!!
Yes, good idea. Free those things!
Love this!!🤍
I’m a 66 yr old grandma and have decluterred TONS, but still trying to find ways to deal with the sentimental items I inherited from my parents. A few things my kids have wanted, but things like my dad’s WWll uniform I really struggled with- what do you do with things like this? After praying about it I found out that my dad’s home town was making a WWll museum and they were delighted to have the uniform and a description of where he served in the war. I feel that I was able to honor my dad’s memory while at the same time provide something that the next generation can learn and benefit from. Now on to what to do with my grandmother’s wedding dress, all my dad’s writing and ancient family pictures. My goal is to get this all done before I die so my children are not burdened with it.
Sheryl F what a wonderful way to honor your dad with his WWll uniform! I have a suggestion about your grandmother's wedding dress if your children aren't interested in it. I can't remember what the group is called....Angels something or another but they cut up old wedding dresses for babies that have died at birth at the hospitals. They make cute little dresses for those precious babies to honor them who don't have a chance at life. I don't know if they have this in every state but they do here in Minnesota. I apologize for not remember the specific name of the group. They are volunteers who cut up and sew these baby dresses from wedding dresses donated. Just something you may consider for a new life for the dress. Also, look into a historical society about donating old photos.
Is it really beautiful? How about a museum? Our regular museum at home when I was a kid had one. I loved looking at it. There may even be special sewing museums somewhere.
@@bonesbigfoot2654 thank you for your suggestions!
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Do you have a county historical society near you? They would be thrilled to get the things you have, so that people can see how others lived in past years.
I just wanted to tell you that I've been having a horrible migraine for about a week (I have IIH), and yesterday was binge-watching one of those house-flipping shows. I usually love these shows, and find them very relaxing, hence the binge. 🙂 But since watching about 432 of your videos about decluttering and simplifying everything in the home, all I could think when they showed the finished, staged homes was, "Look at all that junk everywhere!!! You can barely see the countertops or wall space! It looks like Home Goods threw up in there!" When I realized what I was thinking, I was very excited, because I realized I had begun to change my thought process, and was thinking like a tidy person, not a collector or one of those "I need one or two.. or more... of those" people. Thank you for that. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for that!
I hope that this migraine goes away soon, because I cannot wait to really get started purging. I plan to be ruthless, but that is difficult when there is an ice pick thru my skull. I will be sending you before and after pictures, which you are free to use. My husband will probably photo-bomb them with a huge smile on his face!
I wish I'd done this 20 years ago; I know we'd have all been happier for it. God bless!
I thought the same thing Saturday night when watching a home reno/update show -- TOO MUCH STUFF!!! :- )
I have IIH too and it’s a horrible disease. Thank you for posting this.
I’m curious, how has it gone? :-) :-)
THAT was a great opener! 😁
on that note, my girl was grabbing some extra sheets for her new place and saw my baby dress hanging on the wall!
"you framed your baby dress!?"
then she turned and explained to her man,
"my great grandma made that dress for my mom when she was a baby. "
I smiled because that's why I framed it! I enjoy this little dress. it's almost 50 years old and I didn't want it hidden in a closet anymore! I have a few more that I will stage simply because I enjoy them! thanks so much for emphasizing how to sum up our trinkets! it totally helps!
That reminds me of something my mom did for my daughter! My mom took my daughters favorite newborn onsies she wore all the time and made them into a teddy bear for her bedroom! ♥️
That's an awesome idea!
We have 2 baby dresses that were my Grandpa's and a photo with him in one of the dresses, very grandchild and great-grandchild has been photographed in those dresses. Living history is amazing and while I am hoping it will be a few more years the dresses are ready for the great-great-grandbabies.
An absolutely charming idea! I wish my family had thought to do this.
I really REALLY needed to see this today! I have been so down on myself, I've gained so much weight due to hormonal imbalances I deal with. And I also felt like I wasn't worth pretty clothes and that it was pointless to do makeup. But, I do deserve to be happy in the season of life I'm in. I deserve to dress with dignity. Thank you!
I also needed extra motivation to declutter right now. I've been feeling stuck.
I appreciate you immensely, Dawn!
💕😊✨
I got rid of the clothes that where to small, instead if i do lose weight i deserve to buy new clothes. And guess what 2 years later i started to lose weight.
Such a great reward after the work! Those old clothes are not inspiring!
My late grandmother wrote a history of how she met my grandfather, and their years together. She then had it self-published, and gifted a copy to each grandchild. It's a treasured item for us, and one that we can go back to whenever we want to.
That's so sweet.
I love that rust color on you. So complimentary.
I have to leave another comment. "When we bought this stuff we didn't know the future. We didn't know we would be a caregiver." I almost burst into tears. Yes. To this. Life has thrown us curveballs and we have to free ourselves from unspoken expectations.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” ~~Matthew 11:28-30 NIV
Yes & amen.
💖
I really needed to see this today. Thank you 😘😘😘😘😘
So, does this mean throw out your junk? Not sure what point you are making here.
I was blessed that my dad loved to write. He was born in 1902, so he saw many changes and had the most wonderful stories. One day I asked him put these stories on paper! He did and it is my most previous possession.
I REALLY like the words put up on the screen as you talk! 👍🏻
Yes! I'm a visual learner.
Me, too! I liked the words on the screen - and the fact that an informal font (or handwriting) was used.
Dawn, thank you for this message. Recently, while cleaning, I found five star shaped glass candle holders that I had grown up with. They were favorites of mine. Recently I went to hobby lobby bought a candle in each of my daughter and daughter-in-law's favorite colors. I mailed a candle holder and a candle, to each of my adult children with a card that had two old-timey pictures and the story of how much I loved those candle holders when I was a kid. My daughter just recently called me and told me how much she appreciated the story that went with the candle and candle holder and she was thrilled with the gift. You were my inspiration!
Thank you for this. I have coat length gray hoodie that I’ve only worn a couple of times because I hate it. And I have been beating myself up for what I spent for it. No more. As soon as I get up after writing this that hoodie goes right into the Goodwill box! I already feel better.
After moving twice in 2 years and having an adult child move back into the house I am still living with boxes in nearly every room 3 years later. 2020 was supposed to be my Declutter year but all the charities closed for donations. I have so much I need to give away. It breaks my heart to think I am going to have to take it to the dump so I just stopped. It's depressing looking at my cluttered house. I don't want to have a yard sale, I'm 60 and don't want strangers at my home. Hopefully some of our local charities will open for donations soon. Blessings to you and thank you for the tips.
Try putting it out at the curb with a free sign. My neighbor does that all the time and I have done it too, things I wasn’t sure anyone would want got taken! Then you don’t have to feel bad about them not being used.
Thrift stores, Goodwill, St Vincent's... Better for someone to use it , then get yellow and wrinkled in boxes.
Stagnating time for moving cleared items. Hope you've managed to clear things out now. Some charities collect too.
I had some items in a cedar chest that were sentimental to me. I decided to put the items in a zip lock bag along with an index card that explained the story of WHY that item was special to me. Now after I am gone and my kids or grandkids see the contents, they will understand WHY I kept the thing ...
That's a fantastic idea! I encourage you to get those items out and show the kids and grandkids, and tell the stories often so that the words on paper can trigger the memories of YOU telling the stories - because that's the special part. My Gram was great at going through family albums and genealogy documents with us, telling us the stories. We all have a solid sense of family and heritage; there's a confidence boost and a sense of belonging in the world when you know exactly where you came from. I think too many families don't know their history, or don't think it's important, and that's terribly sad.
I really like this idea.
Brilliant idea!
Hi Dawn, I have to thank you and your videos for giving me "permission" to let go of sentimental items. My husband and I just filled up the back of his truck with two sets of china (both my great grandmother's) that I have not touched or looked at in at least 17 years, knickknacks, tea sets and other breakable items that I literally never realized were such a heavy burden on my home and my mental inventory. Thank you, thank you I feel like an enormous weight hs been lifted!
What did you do with the china? I now have 3 sets of fine china.
@@isingandsew2 I ended up just donating it. I tried to sell it and no one wanted it.
I agree with your mom - less supplies makes creating more fun! Too much means too many paralyzing choices. This video was perfect for my situation!
You’re so right! Paralysis of the analysis!
I speak your language to my friends & family now. “I’m just not going to let the clothes taunt me anymore.” Or, “check your wallet the next time you shove this back in the closet... any more money show up?” lol. They usually respond just like I did the first time I heard you say them: “hm, never thought of it like that” or “you’re right.” Feels great to live this way & to share your advice. I always give you credit too. 😉
You always motivate me! I retired 2 years ago and I still have all of my ‘work clothes’ just in case I’d need them. Especially now, during a pandemic when we’re staying home, I never wear these clothes! They aren’t worth selling or even donating, so they’re going in the trash TODAY! Freedom!! 😊
I retired a year ago, so same here! I keep saving my business clothes just in case I go back to work part-time. I think i will box them all up and put them in storage for now!
I retired a year ago and recently gave all of my work clothes to my sister for a lady who works with her. The lady had gained some weight and couldn't afford a new wardrobe. Mine fit her perfectly!
@@kayhowell8263 I know several plus sized people who couldn't afford clothes then received entire wardrobe gifts from people like yourself. They absolutely LOVED them and the fact they were a gift made wearing them all the sweeter.
For those reading this, even if your clothes are not high quality, consider giving them to Goodwill anyway. They recycle cloth, too, selling it to rag companies. It helps keep it out of the landfill.
Kay Howell Beautiful! Now you are full of peace from your gift of charity instead of full of guilt for keeping things you paid money for and no longer need! Yay !!!🥳
I love the feeling of donating items to The Salvation Army because I know they do so much good to help in the community. So that helps me to part with things I know I don't need to keep!
I did the same with my clothes. My husband went shopping and I bought just a few things. Things I loved and things he thought I looked beautiful in. Guess what I exercised the next day and I've kept it up.
I have had my beloved grandmother's quilts in storage for 10 plus years not wanting to let them go but not be able to use them. Another of Dawn's followers suggested to me that I could have them made into Christmas ornaments to share with other family members. I absolutely love this idea and found it so freeing and happy that they can still have a purpose and bring joy in a meaningful way!
Yes,yes,yes on making a family history video! I took my parents’ home movies and put them to video about 20 years ago. Mom and dad narrated their memories as they watched the video the first time. It’s a natural conversation as they didn’t even think about being recorded. Just a few weeks ago my 93 year old mother, my sisters and I watched the video together. My dad passed away a year ago. It was so nice to hear his voice in the narration. We laughed and reminisced at the sweet memories. My young niece also enjoyed watching with us.
That is amazing, how did you do that?
What a family treasure!
That is a wonderful idea and gift. I had gotten a book for my mom to fill out: Check this out: Grandmother's Journal: Memories and Kee... www.amazon.com/dp/1681881780/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_awdb_btf_t1_SksKFbGYED7BW?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
Unfortunately she passed away before we could fill it out. So I may use it and start filling it out for my future grandkids☺️
@@Michelle-by9fp this was years ago when Technology was more primitive. I spliced my parents film together (my grandpa had the equipment to do that) and took it to a business that transferred the film to a video cassette. My parents dubbed it as we ran it through my camcorder on sound record. Several years later I took the video to a place called Transfer Me to DVD and had it put on dvds. . I made one for my parents and each of us 4 siblings. There are businesses that still do that. You’d have to ask about adding narration. I bet there’s a way.
@@wendyhummel9600 okay I still got the same thing on a screen of this whole time I need my screen cleared
I started a few years ago with the scanning of all the family photo’s, now i am making a family history with them, my kids live in Canada, i whant the grandson to know how is family, from Belgium, lived and whom they were...... and you gave me a great idea... i going to film my city..... Ghent, and al his beuatiful places, to preserve for the future, so he can see his roots when he is older
I recorded my father on 8- 60 min cassettes about 25 years ago and they have become such a priceless gift to me and my family. It's hard to explain but when I hear his voice on them it feels like being wrapped up in a warm blanket on a wintery day.
I wish we had done this .. we all miss my father so much
Loved seeing a Stampin' Up! card! It's true that sometimes we cannot create when we have too much-- it blocks our creativity!
I hesitated to write this because I am NOT sentimental. I don’t know why. I was raised by a mother who was very sentimental. For some reason I do not feel an attachment to a person by something they owned or made. Some people try to make me feel guilty for this. I was very close to my mother and dad and grandparents and they all left possessions when they passed on but I only have a piece of needlework and a cooking pot that belonged to my mom and I use or display them daily. I feel that I honor my parents when in an appropriate conversation with our children and grandchildren, and sometimes friends, I can interject a loving comment or story about one of them or as I’m going about my daily homemaking I find myself thinking, I did that just like my mom did, or my mom would like how I arranged my houseplants because she taught me the love of plants. She would have been so pleased that I had these thoughts about her instead of the dishes or knick knacks stored away in the basement. Everyone is different so there are those of us out there that do not share others sentimental feelings.
It sounds to me like you’re sentimental, but not about things. A very appropriate way of being sentimental!
I went through this when my Mom died. I am not very sentimental about physical items. These were her items, not mine, not my choice. I kept a few, sold the rest. Now, My Mom's best friend got so mad at me, she will not talk to me. I've struggled with this, the guilt she and others placed on me over 'stuff'
@@sableann4255 sounds like they are mad that you did not give the stuff to them.how sad.
@@sableann4255n
@@sableann4255 I totally agree, those items were my parents choices and they got to enjoy them. They are now gone and this is my life. I get to choose for myself. My parents loved me and would WANT me to do that! And even if they didn’t, that would’ve been their selfish hang up, not my problem. It’s JUST STUFF. I don’t need objects to remember my ancestors or why I love them. Carrying guilt over dead people’s things is crazy.
Re: sentimental items... it can be difficult to take in/on so many objects from past generation. And it isn't that we don't care, but many times there is simply not enough space. I look at it like, when you fill up your space with the past you have no room for the present. I love the idea of taking pictures of things and maintaining the memory that way- you can always look back at the pic or share it with others. The physician object can move on.
When you fill up your space with the past, you have no room for the present. Wow. Mind blown.
I am retired with one nephew. His parents have two large houses tastefully full. So I gave away china, nice linens and other household items to friends who are snowbirds with a second house to furnish. We were all happy.
Thank you so much for this , it has been so hard for me when I started to get rid of the stuff and started the journey as minimalist. I had friends that they made fun of me and saying that we can’t afford stuff anymore and our house looks so empty not to mention the shock when they saw the wardrobe! People are so horrible and uneducated. I love all your videos and I learned so much thank you xx
please, you do what is loving for you and your family. The kind of change in mind-set is your journey, not theirs.
Part of what made things special is that they were harder to come by, therefore seen as valuable, and an asset to pass onto your children so they didn't have to spend money they might not have while they were young adults. Yes, advertising played a part, although most people didn't realize it. Who knew things would change so much.
Dawn, the knowledge you’re sharing is helping many overcome or avoid depression and anxiety, and I mean that. When you said you didn’t feel like you were being the mom you wanted to be before, that hit me. That feeling is a crusher and I’ve been there. I decided to do whatever it took to be the mom I wanted to be and that meant saying no to as much as I could: volunteering, etc. I had to honor my personality and mental bandwidth. I had to only have as much on my plate as I could feel a sense of mastery over. I was ruthless about saying no to others and guess what ? It was fine. My family benefitted so much and now I can look back with few regrets and much pride and gratitude to God. Thank-you so much !
I have such an easier time accepting myself as I am right now ever since I used your wardrobe decluttering videos. I am beyond grateful for the changes I have had in my life bc of your videos.
100% agree!
Thanks for this, I'm just after going upstairs and dressing myself instead of going around in pjs all day long, I feel better already xx
Wow, I needed this video right now this very minute because I'm throwing things out and something's are sentimental I'm having a hard time but I made a promise to myself that I would do this. Imliterally asking God to help me with it because I lost my mom less than 6 months ago but this has to be done I need to feel lighter I need to feel free I need to be able to manage these things and I have been up to my neck and over my head for years so thank you for giving us all permission to break the cycle of why we hold on to things
Give yourself grace. There's no timeline when you've had a parent passed on.
This too will pass. The intense grief will come & go for awhile. Might I suggest you seek out a grief group? My church had one when my husband passed & it REALLY helped!! As you are sorting items, remember your loved one is still in your heart even if they are NOT in the "stuff"!
I brought home a lot of sentimental things when my mom passed away 3 years ago; I thought I would use it. Little by little I've been able to get rid of that stuff as I realized it was the memories I had with mom and those items as opposed to the actual item. Have had to give myself grace and do it slowly. I'm down to 2 bins.
@@ginnyevans1035 I I lost my parents three years ago as well, and I probably kept more things than I needed to, but I figured I could always get rid of it later. So there are some things I’ve gotten rid of and I still have things from their house in my garage in boxes that I need to sort through, most of which is family photos and memorabilia from many generations past. It’s the sentimental stuff, so I’m not pushing myself to go through it quickly just because there is so much of it.
@@intherockies STRANGERS HAVE GIVEN ME MORE TIME THAN THE 2 PPL THAT SHOULD BE. I KNOW ITS WRONG BUT CANT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. ALL I CAN DO IS PRAY. AND CLAIM HEALING IN HIS NAME. CRAZY BUT TRUE
Dawn, thanks so much for sharing. I recently told others that it took 60 years and a stranger to give me permission to get rid of all this stuff. I appreciate you and the message so much. " so glad were friends"
The recording idea of the grandparents stories is fantastic.. never thought of it.
This is a good idea. I know all are busy, but I encourage you to make the time to do it :)
So good! My mom lives with us and just came home from the hospital and into hospice care. Recording the memories is a lot better than the stuff. Thankfully, my mom rid her household of a lot of things before moving here.
I have three fitted wardrobes of ‘it may fit one day’ and a small one that does. It has to go.
I needed the affirmation on gentleness. Feeling upset since seeing my pops the weekend - he has a way of putting me down like no one else can. And he doesn’t even mean it. Lol. But it still breaks my heart and makes me doubt myself.
Carrying on with a declutter is cathartic when I am sad. I am worth the effort it takes to give myself a nice simple life and to rediscover and appreciate the things I have that I love.
So sorry to hear this and YES you are worth it!!! 💕
Does he know that his words do that to you? Can you try to show him how his words hurt you? He may be devastated to discover that he’s hurting you like that? Writing it down might be helpful. Sometimes it’s hard to convey your meaning in an emotional situation but writing it down lets you order your thoughts and ensure you’re being clear. Just a thought. (My mother has fronto-temporal dementia and has gone from the most loving mother you could wish for, to saying hateful things to me. It destroys me. My family and friends have said to me that she would be devastated if she knew what she was doing. It is a comfort to know that. )
@@melissahoneybee8493 I used to try and tell him but he just protests that he doesn’t mean it like that and I should no better. Then acts all wounded so I end up feeling bad for him and I end up apologising to him! Drives me nuts. So there is little point really. But writing it down for my own benefit may help. This is a life long thing rather than a change with age. He has always been discouraging, and believes women are only there to help him or to look pretty. My psychologist suggested going no contact but I can’t bring myself to do that. He is still my dad after all.
So many things I could comment on here but I'll just stick to one, maybe two. My mom passed along to me lots of photos. I spent at least two occasions going thru them. The first time I asked my nieces and nephews if they wanted duplicates that I had of their parents who passed away. Then I put what I had in a photo album. The second go thru I had pictures of cousins from Europe that I didn't really know with no information on the back and I finally just pitched them.
Helen Heggadon oh I’m so sorry. You deserve better.
Thank you so much. The part where you said “when we bought it we couldn’t see into the future...” This will be life changing. Thank you 🥰
Before I was becoming a minimalist I had a lot of clothes. My father gave me my Mother’s clothes when she passed away. We dressed a lot alike because she gave me a lot of clothes over the years. I have gone through my closets a lot over the years. I felt after she passed away that I should keep them forever. Now because of watching your videos I realize that it’s okay to let go of the stuff I am not using. So I am. I feel so much better. Thank you.
Years ago, I bought a book for myself. It had many questions, like what was your Mom like. what was your favorite thing to do as a kid. I passed it to my Mom, and asked her to fill it in as a present to me. Through it, I have her memories of her parents and siblings too. I love reading it. I have set a book like this up for my own child, so when I pass, it will be something to remember me by. These are the important things.
awwww dawn, you have no idea how many times you have given me "permission" for so many things. You really make it real life and its a behavioral change too. THANK YOU for being on UA-cam! When i am feeling stressed or spun out i usually go to your channel and just listen to you. I have a few others but i really like how gentle you are and you make the connection in my brain for me lol
Your video has encouraged me to renew my efforts to purge unwanted and unnecessary "stuff" that began when my husband died seven years ago and I was preparing to sell my home and move to another state to live with one of my children. Some of the novel suggestions for what to do with sentimental but bulky items reminded me of what I did with his clergy robe (heavy fabric with velvet front panels.) After much thought, I donated it to the costume department of the local Little Theater group. They were delighted to get it. That might be a place to donate some outdated clothing, too.
Thanks for the reminder that it makes a huge difference to "get dressed with house shoes" like the Flylady recommends, even for SAHMs. Self-care is a must for mom's! I've created my capsule uniform that looks good both inside and outside the home. Moreover, I stopped using harsh chemicals to clean, so it is safe to clean with my nicer clothes.
same here. I find I feel better when I put on my I can wear it out or around my home uniform. I also did the same with chemicals.
This video popped into my feed today and I’m sure you know about it, but in case you don’t… for sentimental things/ stories I am getting my parents Storyworth this year for Christmas. Each week they answer a question, add photos, etc and it’s bound into a book!! My mom’s house is full of “family memorabilia and antiques” and I don’t know any of the stories because there’s so much. Now I can learn the stories and have a book vs all the stuff☺️
I have a whole tote of “I’m going to fit into this someday”. Good to hear.
My Dad was a carpenter. He remodeled and built homes. One year, right before Father’s Day, I drove him around our small county and took pictures of the houses that he had built or worked on. I made a scrapbook and gave it to him for his Father’s Day gift. He passed away four years ago. Now, that has become our gift. I can show my kids what their PaPa did with pride. I still cherish that time with him driving around and talking about all of the people that he worked for and seeing what he created. ❤️
My dad lives in assisted living. Because of that, I had to go through his house and clear it out before we put it up for sale. I have a couple of boxes of things that were my dad’s & grandpa’s. I was going through boxes we emptied out of our storage unit and opened the box with my grandpa’s stuff. I burst into tears when I smelled his cologne still lingering on things he hadn’t touched in years because he passed away nearly 10 years ago. I chose to give myself grace and I closed that box back up to be dealt with another day. Then I moved on to some other non sentimental boxes and was able to make some progress paring stuff down. It’s okay to not tackle the whole pile at once. Do what you can as often as you can. Eventually I will need to deal with those boxes, but for now I can focus on the other stuff and feel good about that. ❤️
This is good advice, kirbyourenthusiasm : ) to take one's time and not to rush the decision process - when I had to clear my mother's house I kept just 6 large boxes of stuff and it took me at least 10 years before I could make the finer decisions of what I actually wanted. Time does heal and it makes you stronger x
I don't know why being gentle with ourselves seems so hard - Thanks, I need a daily reminder to do that! Also, I'm with you about not liking the label "millennial." Or labeling people at all. I think it just ignores the individual and their feelings. So we don't really know a person by thinking of them as millennial, old, a race, hippie, young, minimalist, and all the other words we've heard. They might be someone we can relate to when we take off the label.
I cried all the way through this one, and thank you for the gift of release from guilt! I am the generation that finds great connection to my grandparents and great grandparents through things they left behind. As a wedding present for each of her grandchildren, my grandmother gave us one of her own wedding presents! She married in 1912, and cut glass was very big then, so many of us got some of her cut glass. I have furniture that was theirs too, and even though my grandfathers both died long before I was born, I feel connected to them through using their things. You are so right about sharing those stories with my children and grandchildren! I am in the process of writing a book about the family history ( my maternal grandfather's hobby ) and including pictures as well. I hope to make the connections meaningful to my children and grandchildren, not to make them want to keep it all, but to help feel part of a larger family that had a place in the world and did good.
You can record family stories on the memories part of Family Search for free and include pictures too.
The way you treat “us” and I guess yourself 😀 is so kind, so gentle, and so non-judgmental!!!
This is better than psychotherapy 💕
We all need this permission just to be ourselves. We shall get rid not only of the overwhelming clutter but more importantly of all other things not serving our well-being (aka guilt trips, bad habits etc...)
To one persons it may be weight, to another wastefulness- how can I put in a dumpster perfectly good stuff.
Thank you for being kind, unassuming, and talking about such simple things with so much grace
💕
❤️❤️yes 😊💖💖
I could have written that email! That is exactly what happened to me and I’m so thankful for you giving me “permission” to get clothes that fit
one of the BEST things I've ever heard in getting rid of things from family members who have passed: keep 2 truly sentimental objects (maybe something they wore a lot (jewelry) and a photo of them with it) and make a keepsake box for those.
You'll always have their DNA and the memories in the photos you keep and treasure the most, what more can you ask for ♥♥♥
Not that we need any additional "digital clutter" either, BUT I must say it has always helped me to take a few photos of any sentimental items before parting with them. I'm afraid if I get rid of the item, I will also lose the associated memories and feelings I have surrounding it. I may never even see that photo again, but it brings me comfort to know I haven't lost anything. And as I am scrolling through my photos on my phone, it brings back fond memories if I do come across them.
I have done this as well!
Prior to my state being in quarantine, I only used youtube when I needed to learn how to do something or I wanted to listen to a particular song. Since March of this year, I learned that there is a fantastic world of people making videos about a wide variety of subjects! All of the minimalism and decluttering videos I've watched plus some comments on a facebook group I belong to have given me the ability to 'let go' of many of my parent's things that I boxed up and took from their house to my house. Three of my 4 kids have moved out and I am turning one of the empty bedrooms into my personal retreat. :) It will be where I prepare my lesson plans, sew and store my materials. I plan on putting in a family heirloom china closet and jelly cupboard. The china closet will be to display the things I keep and I will only keep what will fit in the jelly cupboard. The jelly cupboard will hold the seasonal family items that I want to enjoy looking at throughout the year. While I was in quarantine, I also went through my closet and if I keep passing over a garment - it's gone! If I put it on and I feel blah in it - it's gone!
My Mum wrote her “memoirs” and saved it to CD and printed a copy. I looked at the CD once to make sure I could use it. Mum did that in her 50s. She also organised her funeral, paid in advance, and gave my sister and I a copy of the paperwork for that and will information. Smart woman our Mum. There was just us two girls and 5 grandkids and 3 great grandchildren by the time she died. My sister, turned Mum’s memoirs - with addition of photos - into a beautiful book that we each have a copy to keep. We were so lucky for the written story. Mum suffered from dementia in her late 60s and was gone in her early 70s. It was still a difficult time but easier knowing how prepared she had been. Sadly, Mum had torn up a lot of photos because she no longer recognised them. Most she removed from albums that had information in them.
The book I treasure as remembrance of Mum, our family and my Sister. I reread different parts that highlight something I’d forgotten. If anything had been recorded I’m sure I’d have nothing left to view it on. Technology is bounding ahead so that anything 10 years old is unreadable. Inbuilt obsolescence. Just keep in mind that we can see, though sometimes not so well, photos that are 100 years old. Old newspapers and magazines while brittle have a longer shelf life than mobile phones or lap tops. It’s a balance. One beautiful photo in a frame is worth more than something you may not be able to see on your phone in a year or three. You don’t need to smother a room in photos but you don’t have to look like you’ve packed up and are ready to leave. 🦘
My mother did the same. She threw away my Dads albums of all his aunties And uncles. I was devastated when I heard about it. She threw away my diaries when I was overseas too which was upsetting.
So true. My mom created a digital memoir of sorts using digital photos and the file corrupted so all that work was lost. I now always make a printed book of our family photos each year because even though I've backed them up, multiple times, I don't trust it.
Wearing nice stuff in the house is sooo important. I used to wear stained and ill fitting old clothes, but since I invested in good house clothes (comfy, soft, warm, matching!), I am so much more likely to get housework done because I feel like I’m dressed and ready to get to work!
Im on my third pass in my closet...donated 3 bags so far!! Yay me!!! By the way, your hair looks great!
Well done!
Way to go!!! And THANK YOU!
Stacy, you are not alone! I donated 3 large bags a few weeks ago and I still can't fit all my clothes in my bedroom. Kinda demoralizing. It's nice to see someone getting back in there for multiple pass throughs. Thanks for the motivation! Then there's Dawn's kind reminders of being kind merciful to ourselves. Baby steps right? ☺️👣✔️
It took me three passes to go through my closet to get rid of clothes. I'm finally finished. I got rid of clothes that filled a total of 14 trash bags (30 something gallon size) each filled three quarters, so it could be carried.
I still have enough clothes to wear.
Next item to tackle is the arts and crafts supplies. Of that I already donated two pounds of colorful crochet yarn, five or six pounds of wool, two pounds of plastic beads. I did get positive feedback from the recipients. Yes, I did spend a lot of money on the stuff. In my place it was lying around, gathering dust and taking up real estate. Now the people who got it are happy. The things now can fulfill their service. So the money spent on it is no longer a waste.
I agree, Dawn, giving yourself permission to be happy and content today (I summarize it as such) is a break-through. It took me three years to come to grips with the idea that I determine what I want and then decide which things are going to be that "happy stuff".
I remember when I was a teenager my mom was decluttering a bunch of stuff and I kept saying why are you getting rid of that that's a happy memory that's you know something you should keep and she told me that even happy memories can be painful and can drag us down a bit and I thought that was really good advice I didn't get it at the time but I sure do get it now as an adult
Listening to makes me remember when my dad was sick, I had wished at the time I could have video him talking about when he was little in Holland and his time in the Navy. I always recommend to people to try and do that for the Grandkids so they can see and hear them.
Just FYI..I'm making a sign for my bedroom and the front door "☆We need to be more GENTLE with ourselves ☆". May make as Christmas gifts too.
Thank you, you have made it easier for me to declutter without guilt. My Mom always told me to keep things, you may need it.
I took a heritage preservation class in college and we had to interview one of our elderly family members for a term paper. My prof said that every year someone came up later and thanked him for the assignment because that person died shortly afterwards and it would have been lost. I know that in my years of doing family history this happened often it was like they wanted their story told and then they were ready to go on.
I really think my dad would have been a hoarder if my mom had not been there to reign him in. He was very sentimental and wanted to keep so many things from his parents’ home. He pushed a lot of things on me to take since my mom would not let him bring everything home from their house. So now when I watch videos like these and someone says “your parents wouldn’t want you to keep all of this stuff forever“ I always laugh and think “yeah my dad would!” 😂
My mom tells me the same thing, and I really hate it. She tried to force a large cedar chest on me (that I had no clue until today that it even had any connection to either side of my family - I thought that it came from a thrift store because I had never seen it until last year and it was in such bad condition) "so that you and your sister will each have one". I flat out refused - she had no clue why I didn't want it (I told her I have no interest in it nor room for it), and I loathe that she insists on it staying in my old room, because it just gets in the way and collects clutter because the room is way too small for it (I already insist that the secretary desk has to stay in the closet when I'm there, which she also can't fathom the reason for, but reluctantly agrees). The one my parents have had for 30 years has sentimental value for our entire family, though, because it was a wedding present to my parents from my mom's siblings, who carved their initials inside it, and we grew up with it (we've always stored extra blankets and comforters in it, and loved how things smell like cedar when we take them out); most importantly, there's always been a place for it in my parents' living room.
just felt like I needed an avenue....i video recorded Dad too, passed in 2017..
but he did sermon translation (voice) I held onto 3...but for some reason cant find it
....didnt sleep 24th or 25th this dec (just last week). im alright just...where _ARE_ the recordings....thought i came to terms til this vid dug up old wounds..a little =((
What wonderful feedback! My sister passed away in 1978 and many of the things that I had treasured of hers are falling apart. I decided to start taking pictures of these treasures and create a scrapbook. This way I can express my feelings in writing with the illustration, hold on to the memory, but let go of the actual item. I can spend time reminiscing or share with family and friends.
1975, I had an outfit that I was determined to fit into again. 45 years later that outfit would still be hanging in my closet and I would still be depressed that it didn’t fit me, and never would. We don’t deserve the punishment we give ourselves.
Me too I have had a dress 15 years , mocking me in the wardrobe ,
You have hit my 3 greatest weaknesses. Thank you for the great ideas on managing the problems. The last one is really the hardest.
I just went through my dresser and closet and realized most of my clothes don’t fit. Many were given to me, and I honestly don’t remember if I could wear them when I got them. I have so many craft supplies I intended to use that I know now I never will use, so I’m going to tackle that next. Still mustering up the courage to address the sentimental items.
I think the best mementos from family members are the ones we can use regularly that have meaning in our relationship with that person. I have one grandmother's sewing caddy, and I use it for whatever my current craft project is. I also have one grandmother's napkin holder - it was on her kitchen table all my life, and held two decks of cards. She taught all of us grandkids how to play various solitaire games - I think it was to keep us occupied while the adults visited. The napkin holder brings up some of the best memories of my childhood, to the point where I can hear the hum of her refrigerator and the soft bubbling of the aquarium under the quiet shuffle and snap of cards being placed on the table. Peaceful contentment.
I just don't think a photo would be quite the same, somehow.
Dawn, thank you for this sweet post. It struck a chord with me because I am wrestling with downsizing. The physicality of lugging boxes and sifting through things is daunting! You have sparked ideas that hadn't occurred to me!
I only found you recently. I love to hear your giggle! I love the way you an Tom interact. You are a breath of fresh air.
I will soon turn 81 and now I know how I can "save stuff" without heavy lifting and guilt! I think I deserve a treat for FINALLY grabbing a clue 😂!
God bless you and yours! I'll see you in another video soon!❤️
I am thrilled to have found your video. I have had a hard time getting rid of sentimental items and I am so glad that you said to be gentle with yourself about items. Now that I am 63 and my daughter said she doesn't want to be stuck like I was cleaning out our stuff. We already have downsized but I find that I am ready to part with things that I don't want by donating them to charity. My parents saved everything and had many hobbies that brought lots of stuff with them. I was the one to clean out 46 yrs. of their belongings. It was hard to do and we finally had to throw out items. I felt guilty about that for years.
When you said be gentle with yourself it brought tears to my eyes as since I lost my mum 6 months ago I've been I've been in a dark place and struggling on so many levels with my life, the situation and my weight, like the last you mentioned it felt good to hear the words "Be gentle on yourself" as like she said it feels like permission to do that and not feel guilty or uncomfortable about it. I may not be able to change things that have happened but I can work on letting myself just be for now and not put so much pressure to be/look the way that that I think I should in light of all that has happened, so thank you Dawn for posting this, I really needed to hear this x
I am so sorry for your loss.
Grief is really hard work. Give yourself as much grace as you would a good friend going through a hard time. And keep doing it when the grief grabs you again.
Thank you Janie ❤
Thank you Beth, I will try to do that ❤