Unfortunately my adult son is a fool (as the Bible states it). He can’t stand being corrected. Sad truth! He will then turn around and start blaming me 🤦♀️
@@infinitybless7132 There's a saying - " A fool who proceeds with his folly will become wise" *** Embracing the fool archetype may contradictorally be the path 'through' and out of foolishness .. because I think only 'You' can personally make the right decisions for 'yourself' , and that includes decisions of what to 'learn' or what lessons to take on board and live by ... I guess it's like , you NEED to be able to see the folly inherent in yourself and your decisions , completely and without being able to redirect blame to any other person or thing >>> I'm not a parent by the way , so there's that haha
This is me, but I only just realized that it a gift and not a curse. I’m a leader of the new world, never meant to fit in, never meant to follow anyone. I’m here to help people heal and see the beauty of life and find the magic in everyday existence
My perception is that narcissistic people are jealous of authentic people, especially if the authentic person is intelligent or interesting or possesses positive traits of any kind.
Not necessarily authentic people. It's everyone in general. They feel a deep sense of shame whenever they see positive traits in anyone. So they feel the need to be critical or begin to copy the individual
That’s right, narcissists are now learning all the jargon to keep pushing to not be exposed, pay attention to the difference between what they say after ‘I am…’ and what they actually do, that’ll give you clues of the reality of who they are.
@Sleetstormwho know? most of the time they just don’t want to meet doctors so people have to “guess”. I did too but now I don’t care to label my mother as NP or something anymore, to me she is just too cruel for a human being, nevermind as a mother.
My husband qualifies as authentic. Calm, rational, thoughtful…in twelve years I only heard him raise his voice once and it was in deference of me. What gift of a husband.
Those traits don’t necessarily mean “authentic.” Authentic means direct honesty, zero bullshit and lies, and only speaks the truth. Also they don’t pretend to be something they’re not. Thats authentic.
Absolutely! When faced with narcs, it’s best to just keep moving forward like you say. There’s no need to entertain their hateful, aggressive nonsense, as they don’t even deserve the negative supply that they crave.
@@alangardiner872 I’ve lived with a true narcissist for over 20 years, I did plenty of compassion and once you allow them in, that is when they get their supply and you feel horrible and confused and mistreated. It’s a real illness and mine also had passive aggressive and stonewalling. It was hell, and I finally left and I have moments of authenticity but after so many years of that, working on it and climbing out of that hell isn’t easy. And there was true gaslighting. You are told lies that you know he said. And just when you think it’s safe, he acts out. It doesn’t end and they cannot say sorry. It’s a danger to my health if I have compassion for him. He’s in my life still bc he has to be for another year. He sucks me in and spits me back. I don’t wish this treatment on anyone.
So I fit your meaning of Authentic person but I don't fit what the video says. I've always been told how authentic and genuine I 6 I do get angry at times, I do raise my voice, and I am ok with being a party pooper and leave somewhere when I want lol
@@annatevesbanzon1359 Yup. Been told, "Only concerned about yourself." And this because I just went over to get the rent, and declined to take him to the store or loan him money.
I always feel that most people that are accusing others of narcissism are quite judgmental and narcissistic. I’ve never felt that I’ve met a narcissist or have had issues with the topic, but I’m very authentic and straight forward so perhaps narcissists aren’t attracted to me or I don’t see them.
@@Lyndsay.King1111 you will know when you meet one. They are usually diabolical. If you have healthy parents you may be protected from the realm of narcs because they have protected you in a way that narc parents do not protect their children.
Yes or someone who is and has not been involved with a narcissist or more specifically THAT narcissist. If it were a random rude person talking over everyone and being a jerk it would be easy to walk away. When it's the narc stalking me, coming to my table of friends and interrupting EVERY time any of us speaks and trying to take over like heck am I going to continue calmly trying to move the conversation back or go home. I'm out with MY friends, he found out I was in pub X, he comes to whatever place I've been spotted in by his flying monkeys, tries to 'join us' without invitation and take over the conversation and night...yep we're all trying to avoid the drama and scene he will cause if we ask him to leave us alone, but damn, we're not going to accept him or leave either. We've got the point where girlie nights had to always be at my flat to avoid his BS. Since covid and lockdown that is changing, we are reclaiming our right to go out and not be harassed. When he starts that crap again we won't be making a quiet exit to my flat, we're standing our ground and getting him removed from bothering us. I don't think standing your ground or being assertive is not authentic. The person described in the video seems to be dealing with a narc who is nothing to do with them and part of that circle of people. A common situation and great advise for avoiding letting them in etc but not even possible when it's the uninvited narc who you've escaped!
@@jessicataylor7174 women out together and a known narcissist tries to join the group? Yeah right. Been there. Put socialised niceties aside and as a collective firmly state he wasn't invited along and he should leave you alone. If he refuses quietly walk over to security and explain it. At that point, he has moved from over friendly to harassment. If he argues with security over staying away from your group there's a good chance he will be ejected. A group of women usually spend more than one man. Other men usually spend more on women they like. Your group is an asset to the business. Just keep it polite to hold the high ground. And thank the staff so they'll look after you in future.
Narcissists have an uncanny knack of finding and targeting those that are vulnerable and easily manipulated. They also have the ability to appear (normal) until you are deeply invested in a relationship with them, then all the ugly surfaces!
One must never be afraid to walk. Abuse is a no no be be at 10 days mark, 10 weeks, 10 months or 10 years. I'll Invest, sure, but also monitor the stock market regularly. If the return on investment is too low, it's time to go.
My best friend is an authentic girl. As a matter of fact, the narcissist guy called her dismissive to her face and she said “oh okay. Well, I hope you find what you are looking for.” And she is so very calm when she said it. And he said that he will block her number. And she said “okay, take care. Goodbye.” All calm and collected. I need to learn that skill
I've found that practicing this in online interactions first is easier and helps a lot. Normally I don't engage with online arguments but I'm not friendly either. One time I got a really negative reply on an innocent commemt and it felt so ridiculous that I asked the person if they were having a bad day and why they were so angry.l, and they actually apologized and said they were going through something, first time that I had a person online do a 180° like that, snd it felt so much better than winning an argument, it was actually really wholesome. So since than I've tried to be less confrontational and reactive when someone says an extreme thing to me because I hope to have that good feeling of making a bad interaction a good or neutral one, it makes me feel way more peaceful inside, even if I do have an argument I feel comfortable leaving it when the other person is being unreasonable and I'll feel proud thst I did that. I think this sort of practice will make a person resistant to toxic behaviour and not he effected by negativity.
@Autumn Leaves that’s not true for everyone. I’ve been with a narcissistic alcoholic for 15 years. I still love him with all my heart. I’ve learned through al anon to detach with love. It works for me.
Funny fact is, when you set boundaries with a narcissist, they will usually claim that you are only seeing your side in the situation, as if you are the narcissistic. Best thing to do is to leave in silence.
Yes very true.. becos they don't see themselves from a 3rd party perspective.. they only see themselves as the most victimized person ever and when we set boundaries, we get added to their list of people who victimize them, because we stopped the supply..
Idc. He will NOT commandeer MY PORCH! "Like a good neighbor, STAY OVER THERE!" 😂 I refuse to say a word to him or acknowledge him or his kids!... but i rest assured that porch has a cam on it! The nerve! Lol
The thing is though, death can come to anyone at any age. A 2oyearold may depart today whilst a 60yearold lives for another 20years! We can all work towards being/living authentic now, both younger & older.
Excellent topic. I'm 74 and have been learning about narcissism for 2 years. As the big picture began to clear away the fog my narcissist husband created, I began to discover my forgotten self. Not surprisingly, he upped the abuse. I didn't leave him - but only because he ordered me out of the house and to take nothing because it was all HIS. These people are baffling in their attitudes. I still shake my head and ask how on earth did they become like this? I'm looking forward, at 74, to living my own life finally. It will be tough financially, but I don’t need much and friends have stepped up to help furnish my new little place. Finally, I'm at peace with who I am.
did you have kids together? I've been 13 years with my bf... deep down I still love him. I just can't believe how he goes from being the best bf in the world, to 10 mins later transform into the cruelest monster out there and don't show a minimum of respect for me... like he never loved me. It's like an intense hate in his eyes. It's truly hard to believe... And the reason of his "transformation" might be something as stupid as I didn't wash a single glass of water immediately after he used it... it's like what these videos say: you will never be good enough for them, they will always find something that hurts you to tear you down... life is so hard with him when he's like this... and I did think about having kids with him... because I love him... but then I think about how many times *harder* it would get with kids... I don't think I could bare that... I went from having an extremely hard life living 26 years with my borderline sister (you wouldn't believe the things she did...) to live with my bf that happens to have a narcissistic personality 😔 what is life trying to tell me? lol
couldnt agree more...i think i have always been authentic, being child of both narc parents i can say that, thats wat saved me(being authentic)...no doubt that my wisdom is increasing with age but the authenticity was always there to begin with...its not something i caught on at a particular age
@@spdadventurer1754 seems like kids who come from narc parents go in one of two ways: either, they become JUST like their narc parents OR they become super empathic. Might have to do with high emotional quotient (EQ).
@@alex2b450 which means no one did a very good job at showing any of it? and if that is the case, who can blame them for not seeing! when it's the blind leading the blind, isn't it just par for the course! the way for all who have yet to truly lift the veil of the old matrix!? or "system"?! which makes all kinds of room for the real teachers to finally come out of the shadows... who knows? where it might lead? if we just tried, to be, better! and I do see wonderfully inspired comments around, these days! as more and more choose to get out of the system that blinded them one time too many! Trust is all but gone and love, wisdom and accurate knowledge, hopefully, will save us all! Psalm 91 alone, is wowing me daily! and notebooks filled with others, that keep me, in heaven on EARTH, in my own HEART!
Couldn't you just be comfortable with and valuing yourself but not comfortable with other people? Idk, I don't feel like I mask because I don't value myself, but because I think that the world is scary.
My oldest daughter is a very authentic person. I find that she is one of the only people that I feel safe with. Even her criticisms are done with love. I leave a conversation with her feeling happy, at peace, not confused, etc. She can make everyone feel special without lying or being fake. I never could figure out how she does it. She was born this way! I wish I was!
She is your daughter and therefore a product of you the ability for you to reckoning those traits in her says a lot of good about you and her ability to be the way she is.
The older I get, the more comfortable I am with being the "weird" person in the room. In fact, it's become a beacon for me and helps me better figure out who is toxic, dangerous or who to avoid.
Narcissists definitely rely on social convention and "normalcy" to shame and control people. Most people kind of chuckle or raise an eyebrow at my odd behaviors, but the minute someone resorts to shaming me for benign but unconventional behaviors, I know exactly who I'm dealing with.
Me too. Who I project myself outwardly "as" though, sometimes does change, depending on my mood, the time of the month and whether I have dark chocolate. I'm ok with that. :o)
I was thinking my sister went crazy after her mid life crisis but turns out i ran into narcissistic traits and she checks every box, they are dangerous ppl and turns out she seduced my dad so she could get rid of him, the reason i put this together is because i remember this conversation my future step dad had with my mom, that my sister would shower with the door open, and keep in my mind he hated my dad, he said he's pretty sure she did the same thing to my dad, took me 40 yrs but my sister for some reason tries to get rid of ppl, she very rude and pumps up mom to Believe my wife is a bad person, i nevr understood why she was always rude, and it was her way of the nothing, i noticed she was always jealous of her daughters, like shes 46 and can't let go of being everything about her. Yes it gets worse but before the serious one, she would always talk down on my kids, and im thinking what kind of person would try n hurt a kids feelings, that was it for me. And yes of course she became a big ultra maga supporter, like she cant back of her reasoning for real issues but she just says lil sayings typical maga would say, but she's gets really aggressive and offensive cuz i mock her cuz im not one to be bullied. But here's the kicker, she called me one night all drunk right before Thanksgiving unloading that she's been hiding frm the family that her daughter has cancer and she doesn't kno what to do eveb tho the 3 doctors recommended immediate treatment, but shes one of those magas that also doesn't trust doctors or medicine, so saying she not going the route or try anything help my niece have any fighting chance, just to fit her narrative she's willing to let her daughter die!!! And the next morning she texts me to forget what she said and that she was wrong for it, at this point im thinking she crazy, but im telling you all this to show that these are some dangerous ppl, i might have lost a father over her actions of jealousy, oh yea i forgot she's my half sister but i always called her my sister. It amazes how someone can cause all this wreckage and believe she has no sympathy for others but herself. I cut her off for my kids and wife, my mom is the hardest to convince how manipulative she is but you kno moms believe their kids are perfect
Lol 😂 that took Confucius to 70 year’s old before he achieved that. I thought I could outperform him and I was wrong. Good luck 🍀 . But I’m sure you line works well for likes 👍.Humility isn’t popular nor is highlighting ones failures, however... errors well digested lead to profoundly solid transformations.
I think authentic people are always trying to figure out what is best and true, and they try hard to hold themselves to that standard. My husband is narcissistic, but not evil. I see him for what he is. I pray for him, redirect him, and praise him when I see proper actions. He was poorly socialized. He was mistreated as a child and retreated to a world of books. Fortunately, he was attracted to hero characters who always saved people, so I know that is his heart's desire, to be a savior. But he loves attention and praise and always turns every conversation back to himself. I get embarrassed by this and by his boastfulness. And it is super annoying how he loves to tell us about other people's faults and weaknesses, like it's fun to point out other people's stupidity or addictions. Then he tries to keep his own weaknesses hidden. He is an incredibly hard worker though, and he works very long hours in super uncomfortable conditions so I can stay home with the children. He is very skilled at fixing almost anything mechanical. He is a very good problem solver. He's a good leader at work, never asks his men to do anything he wouldn't. Sometimes he behaves emotionally immaturely, but other times he doesn't. It really seems to be strongly related to what "news" he reads and watches or what online social media he is interacting with. I do believe we are strongly influenced by what we read and watch and listen to. I think people are complex with all sorts of problems. I will always love him. And I will always pray for him. And I will never give up on him because he is mine to love forever.
We become our thoughts, habits, food, what we listen to, what we pay most attention to etc. We are simultaneously the product and creator of our environment 💜✨ your husband sounds like a wonderful man who will continue to progress, and you being there to guide and love him despite his short comings is definitely an incredible gift that I'm sure has and will continue to benefit y'all's individual and connected growth as well as the collective.
@@Nina_Olivia Agreed. I find her refreshingly real - and authentically beautiful ... my mum was the same although blonde haired and blue eyed. She had that same unaffected beauty.. so fortunate...
My wife is very authentic and she is super nice to people. So people think she’s a push over. Then some one tries to mess with her and she gets extremely intense and direct and she melts them. Ppl will know her for years and won’t see this side. I haven’t seen this in anybody else in my life. Very unique and very awesome.
That's top level. There comes a point when a decent person has to let someone know there bullshit is not welcome and was never acceptable. Kudos to her!
@robhernandez1827Yeah I’m similar to this person’s wife and it’s not aggression. It’s just very direct, “Hey I have self respect and I will not tolerate disrespect”. It’s shutting the other person down without raising your voice or insulting, but just speaking clearly and seriously. No smiling or apologizing for shutting them down, instead being confident. Otherwise I’m actually a quite shy person that always wants to be kind lol
After two years of being "in love" with a narcissist I was only one step away from committing suicide. It was like he took me, threw me to the ground and shattered everything I was into millions of pieces - and then left. Now, two years later, I am grateful for this episode of my life, as it granted me the chance of becoming whole and true. I was destroyed and had to build myself new from the beginning - and while I was doing that, I finally learned to see and feel this "self", which was very different than the one I thought I was. In fact, he didn't shatter -me-, but the shell I was, build up from old wounds, old fears and old ideas. I am thankful for this experience and for the incredible opportunity to heal - not only from the wounds the narcissist did to me, but from the deep wound of being lost and disconnected from myself. I was a helpless, frightened child, full of fears and desperate to find someone who could save me.... now I am saved by myself. Finding this connection will lead to authenticity and nothing feels more comfortable than that. Finally, there's peace.
Wow, thank you so much for sharing your experience. I'm glad you have realized your strength through a painful experience. I have come to the same realization after my very similar experience.
Yes ....the Bible say when you know who you are in Christ what the world think does not really matter ,Im 46 years old ,and it took me long time of suffering because i was a nice person,very sensitive ,try to get along with everybody (i thougth),and was very reactive to what people do and say about me ...once i learn that it does not really matter (i Bring people in need to eat and sleep in my House and still talk bad about me ...),i know im a loving, compassionate,honest overall good person and thats all that matter,we will all meet same narcissist in our Life that tell us ,we are horrible,disgusting,sloppy ,good for nothing human being "know the truth (that you are a Beautyfull human being created by a migthy God at His Image and likeness,thats all you need to know) and the truth will Set you free"... And you will no longer Put your inner value dependent of acceptance and aproval from Others.We can Control other people mouth and behaviour but WE can Control how we react to it
Authentic people have a broad range of areas of awareness regarding personalities and temperaments. It’s similar to customer service at its best and mastering communication.
I had always thought of myself as "authentic." But this made me realize that being a "people pleaser" is NOT being authentic to myself. Thank you, Dr. Ramani!
Best tips for you is don't involve in any unreasonable scenario but don't tolerate what will affect you and learn to reject somethings most importantly don't try to hurt others by overreacting.
@@theresefournier3269 That’s really incredible that you brought that up today. I meditated on “I am a conduit to connect resources” and a harvester can be a person who collects resources for future use! What an incredible synchronicity from the Universe!
@@pesamesagisum Oh my! I hadn't even seen this last part of your comment until after I wrote mine! which is when i realized that, of course, and not surprisingly, you already knew! and yes, we are incredibly blessed my spiritual sister! and wise harvester!
I agree, n I see now we are all the walking wounded children doing our best, this helps to not judge others. But some of us work a lot harder at evolving into the person we were meant to be before it was taken away from us as a child. I have empathy for people who don’t realize it takes action instead of blaming. Unaware of this they are always searching outside themselves for the answers. I’ve also realized the only way to become authentic n receive answers is to go within. Learning to let go of the past by living in the moment brings calm / peace and creates space for less n less reason for subconscious reactions. And to be more gentle with ourselves, we’re not perfect all the time and that’s OK. The more u love yourself the more u can feel free to love others, even if it’s from a safe distance.
Yes.. Thanks a ton for solving all mysteries around unanswered questions of my lyf. U ve definitely changed infinite lives forever.. Blessed to have discovered a whole new world -knowledge of which - will definitely make me more useful to God, universe and world.. Focusing on only positives and my goals.
Bingo - so true. And when they speak the truth they are told things like 'don't be so ridiculous' and/or 'you lack insight' - told that enough times they can start to question their own sanity which is what the narc wants them to do.
Narcissists are intimidated by authentic people. Authentic people attract the crowd, attention, and most of all the respect that narcissists so badly want, and they do it without trying. Narcissists know that authentic people see right through them and fear they will expose who they are.
This authentic person has done medical research and discovered that her x-boyfriend had all the symptoms of a Narcissist and Asperger's, however the CAUSE is not intentional. These behaviors develop due to having to deal with the toxins being produced in their system. Parasites/Worms and other Amoebic parasites are rampant in these people. They live in a brain fog and their behaviors are developed to cover up their incorrectly diagnosed internal parasites. Parasites emit 5 toxins. Formaldehyde, Amphetamines, Histamines, Ammonia and Morphine. Any Authentic person getting a daily dose of these chemicals will ultimately develop some defensive behaviors. If you really want to CURE your clients then deworm them first and then help them control their parasites while helping them deal with the transition. Many like my x have lived with parasites their whole life and never knew it. My x had his appendix removed as a child(more than likely filled with worms) and had physical development /growth problems. All affected by these toxins in his system. The Main Stream Medical Community does NOT test for parasites. Some parasites live in the lymph system and not the GI tract. How these parasites get in they lymph system is still a mystery. For more information on this please watch The Universal Antidote Documentary on Rumble dot com. Here is the link rumble.com/vdey7t-the-universal-antidote.html
The problem is, you take things logically, and with empathy. Two things narcissists have no comprehension of. They will call you smart and intelligent, and then call you an idiot for tripping on a cord they left on the floor.
Authentic people are rare, in my opinion, and they are not dramatic, they’re real; content where they are. They do not care what other’s think of them and they move forward with their simple basic life style and that’s everything to them. They are enough.
Simple and basic life. Enjoying the things that money can't buy, like a kiss from my two year old grandson and watching him play and dance and he is so funny! Now for me that's living.........
@@monicamiles4544 It's always girls making comments like these. I bet you are the problem. How could you possibly be abused by narcissists your whole life? Either you are delusional or you have been going from man to man looking for your "best source of supply" and found yourself being treated like a commodity, because you have made yourself one.
Most of the people describe me as "genuine". And there was one manager who particularly used this sintagma of "authentic person". When I asked what does it mean (as English is not my native language) he explained that I am able to "leave" my body and judge my own actions as it was someone else, to distance myself from situation and make objective decission - which makes it much easier for me to learn and much easier for him to make me a great leader. I was so flattered.
@@HaleyMary Narcs are meant to be fleeting lessons. Wouldn't want to out or shame them, wouldn't stay either. Don't want to waste energy. I'd say a self aware person learns from a difficult experience. When a self aware person acquires a tool belt. It makes it easier to spot and resist them.
If the Narcs have high social value and they get things done, then it doesn't matter. The group would not want to see right and wrong, they will choose from whom they get advantage,gifts Nd favours. Life isn't so fair and just as we expect it to be
@@8656737s Lemme guess, they also give you crap for being "rude", "disrespectful", "petty" for distancing yourself from her? Currently dealing with this from my partner's family. They can't fathom there'd be any reason you'd stop talking to a relative.
@@8656737s And as time goes by you will feel more and more at peace with yourself ! They never change and often they have one of the parents on their side. That makes it even harder. Keep strong.
as an authentic autistic who knew no other way of being i found myself in the damage of repeated patterns of these relationships again and again. only learning about (late diagnosed and untreated) autism (and also narcissism) helped me. i could never understand why my honesty and vulnerability could threaten others so much.i thought i was the vulnerable one, i was told by society that i was the “weak” one. but i always stood my ground with others in various relationships, no matter how crazy they made me feel. i was unable to lose my core self somehow. and for this, they seemed angry as hell.
I am not autistic as far as I know although I may be on the spectrum, I’m 64 & never been tested. I am an empath & super sensitive, but held onto my true self through it all, until the final discard. And there were times when it nearly killed me. My ex would say to me “You’re an enigma to me, no matter what I throw at you you’re always happy.” I realise now I was what he wanted to be, not what he wanted.
I'd like to feel that, even just once. Whenever I feel any joy, any at all, something comes a moment later to take it away from me. I'm not sure if it's from abuse or a curse or a Demon doing it to me. It's happened so often I don't get happy anymore. I feel like I will be punished for anything good that comes my way. It will just be taken from me because I can't defend myself.
Having a child with disabilities taught me this exact thing your are talking about. In genera,l this has taught me whats important and whats a waste of time. Especially emotionally. I keep a good healthy antennae on narcassist.
@@lorimiller4301 u need therapy or some soul searching or both ..try being in solitude for a while, and busy yourself with personal development & develop your character, principles and values.
@@lorimiller4301 the power of our thoughts and minds are being plagued. Be careful what you think, and say. And spend time watching and listening to & reach out to God. This will change your life
It's true that the narc doesn't like or pursue the honest transparent person. I think honesty intimidates them and inside they know they are disfunctional and they don't like that inferior feeling. So yes! They will go talk bad about you to almost everyone you know. I heard this Proverb and it went something like, when people bare false witness against honest people it's only a matter of time before honesty revels the truth....I have experienced this Proverbs without having to defend myself because true honest character will always dispel a lie!
Congratulations for moving forth with your life. Bravo to you. Remain strong and resilient as you journey to new beginnings. What's for certain and always count on. This quote. By the late Maya Angelou. "When a person shows you who they are. Believe them the first time." The simplicity as you heal in spite of the experiences. Hold truth that. Winners (YOU) never lose and losers (Narcissist) never win. It's a waste of time trying to help the narcissist save themselves from themsleves. The Narcissist live in a trap mental personality disorder. That will always be lived in a world filled with darkness and unhappiness their entire life. Believe me I known and seen many narcissistic people have no peace. Not even narcissist taking their last breath. They die with a tortured soul. God gives the narcissist an opportunity to repent from their sins. This would give the narcissist a chance to finally be free from their demons for eternity in heaven. Rather than spend eternity in the fire within a burning bottomless pit. In a place called hell.
You just suffered throw that phase, but on the other side is a much stronger, congruent sense of self…and you won’t tolerate being labeled or duped into being a scape goat…it comes with the love of self (the healthy kind).
I felt so understood, it made me cry, while having flashbacks of situations where I made narcissists feel uncomfortable (unintended) with tremendous effects on my life. Getting wiser and older now, good to know that getting past this becomes easier with age!
@@oOIIIMIIIOo I feel you. That’s pretty much how I felt: confused and lonely, sad. Grown up figuring out why, giving me the strength to build my own life. Sending love ❤️ to you and your child.
My late aunt was definitely an authentic person. I recall an incident when I was a child where she said something noncombative (I don't remember exactly what it was anymore) and one of her cousins said "speak for yourself" in retort. It took me aback, as I did not expect my aunt to be met with such a hostile response, for no apparent reason. You know what my aunt did? She immediately responded in the most calm and kind voice "fair enough" and went about her business. I thought her reaction was so mature and graceful. She was a sweet woman, and there were people around her who were jealous of her blessings--blessings which she deserved. My mother was one such person who was jealous of her. May Auntie Bonnie rest in peace.
Nonsense. No such thing as an authentic person in psychology. And the word narcissist is peddled around by ignoramuses who don't even know what it means
I had an aunt Nila like that, she loved everyone especially children and did the nicest, most memorable things in our lives everyone should have an aunt Bonnie or an aunt Nila! I wish they did!
This powerful and wise woman is literally saving my life. Growing up with a Narcissistic father and seeking solace in my brother only to realize he to is a narcissist. 35 years later I’m finally free. I’m grateful for you Dr Ramani, it’s finally time to heal and move on.
Hi Jonathan. I have some narcissists around me since I am an empath. What I noticed lately is they are very, very insecure people, way more insecure than the regular person. So you need to start to rely on yourself
I am a 25 year old recovering narcissist with parents who deny their narcissism, who have found a relationship with a 28 year old authentic person. Being in this relationship has opened my eyes to who deserves my time and space, and who has made me realize that I can take a different path. I can choose to not step into the footsteps of a narcissistic generation. When you said authentic people are found in elders, i can tell you from my POV, the youth are preceding as authentic, and that to me is incredible. As a person coming from a narcissistic background building myself to change as an authentic person, who chooses to be a better person and make better decisions, not just for other people, but because i want to be a better person. So i want to thank you Dr. Ramani for your personal input. I will look forward to checking out your podcast.
A couple of years ago I had the interesting experience of having a malignant narc boss replaced by an authentic person boss. The quality of life improvement is off the charts.
It's both a gift and a curse to be able to spot Narcissists so quickly and easily. Props to anyone who has to deal with them on a daily basis. You're a warrior.
Or, just walk away. If possible. I am planning to move north to get away from the narc's sphere of influence. This decision empowered me. Even if I do not move away for good, it helps to think outside the box.
I've learned in my experiences that part of learning how to be authentic in the face of narcissism is learning how to be authentic in the face of your own narcissistic tendencies.
@@Richard_L_Y everyone has the capability to be narcissistic to a extent. It’s about facing that and controlling one’s self no matter how much hurt we feel.
@@Richard_L_Y facing one’s own occasional selfishness is an expression of self-awareness and the exact opposite of narcissism. All of us are capable of callousness on occasion, especially if we’re under a lot of stress for reasons that seem out of our own control, but the authentic person backs up and says “oh wow I’m being selfish” and makes amends and changes.
Out of ALL of the many, many videos I have watched in my attempts to heal from narcissist abuse, THIS was the video that I needed the most. Authenticity = Freedom. ✨ Thank you, thank you, thank you! 🙏
I believe the same way; this video put the icing on the cake for me and provided the missing piece of a god-awful puzzle I've been trying to put together for over 60 years. Move over narcissistic family...authenticity coming through!
I am authentic. I never realized that others weren’t. Until my (ex) husband’s double life was exposed, I had no idea of how authentic I was and how inauthentic he and others are. People seem to be drawn to me because of authenticity. Even better, I have found my tribe of authentic people.
Youre not authentic. Youre foolish and naive thats not a virtue you are just silly. The fact that you didnt see your husbands 'double life' is pretty much an indicator of that.
@@ThunderAppeal Authentic people can still be misled, ThunderAppeal. Authentic people are not mind readers. But authentic people don't become controlled by a narcissist. That's the difference.
When you are an honest, open, forthright person, it can be easy to (incorrectly) assume that others are, as well. It's quite an awakening to discover just how unbelievably naive you've been when you do finally seek out this information and study these character-disordered people for years. I was entirely CLUELESS there was such a large population of individuals, globally, who are so disordered that they have some kind of characterological disorder. Now I understand why people behave they way they behave, and nothing....literally nothing....that I see truly surprises me anymore. You are very fortunate to have found people who you believe are your tribe of authentics like yourself. I still haven't found those people.
I see it the other way round. We are born authetical, but along the way we are forced to learn tricks and to be false in order to cope with sadness and nasty people (whatever label you like to put on them).
We are all born authentic i believe. We are at our most authenticity when we were a child but as we grow up we start to have big egos which is something we have to get rid of or at least learn to balance.
@@arrow1042 authentic birth would mean we r only genetics. Everything else is learned and Cultivated. We r not animals with a biological compass, we need to learn every thought and behavior
“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths,” wrote Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. “These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.” . Can confirm. I feel blessed to be living authentically at 42 with peace in my heart and soul in alignment with who I am and my purpose. Trust me. When your peace and authenticity have been so hard won, you understand the importance of protecting it. But you also understand other people who haven’t quite gotten there yet.
I must be Gold! I lived with a narcissist for 7 days and I just had to pack my car and go! Just trusting that spirit has something better for me. This man wanted all my time energy and money! Bye 👋
@@rainephachoumphone9175 you attract what you are! There are many many real and good people you have to stop judging every person and situation, do not give it your energy, then you truly will manifest what you want! Look at it all as a lesson, everything happening for you! The universe doesn't make mistakes! Everyone and everything is you pushed out!
The authentic person likes themself, is confident, self-ssured, wise, genuine, yet kind and/or neutral when dealing with toxic people. They have very healthy boundaries and are not duped by deceivers. Like a protective shield.
I feel best when I sense it within & around myself as an rich calming power emanating from within me, and it just so happens to repel. The “shield” concept felt like a protector from outside of myself. This self-emanating essence feels always present, always effective, if I focus on it. The best advice, the most effective advice that I have acted on as an empath… Was “focus on your separateness.” My whole world changed. Focus on your separateness. It’s the opposite of what we normally hear. Empaths don’t need to focus on connection; that happens automatically. We have to focus on separateness and feel what separateness feels like. Then we were able to feel our authenticity; And it feels so good!
It’s really wild thinking about the abuse my mother put me through, and from a very young age, I was highly perceptive, and I literally would look her in the eyes and tell her “Don’t talk to me like that, it’s not okay”, or I would have these long conversation trying to show her that there’s more than one way to do things, and it might look different, but it was acceptable. She couldn’t stand me because I stood up for myself and my siblings no matter what, and I would call out in as calm, well rounded, and respectful a manner as possible the ways she was mistreating me. And, of course; as I got older, she couldn’t stand it, so she gaslit me to hell and broke me down, not unlike how the military breaks people down and remolds them during boot camp, etc. It’s taken 7 years to find myself again. But I feel Fucking alive and I’m so fucking thankful every day for that younger me who chose this current version of me over everything else.
Same here. I’m starting to think I was authentic all along but then got traumatized and couldn’t see my authenticity very clearly anymore. Now that I’ve shut every single toxic person out of my life I’m rediscovering my authenticity. The truth is a beautiful thing. It’s the stuff poems are made of. ☺️🌟
"Mother" Teresa was a cruel, sick twisted *narcissist* who exploited the poorest of people. She did nothing to help them as she told them suffering made them closer to God.
the whole "this is the way i am, im not trying to hide it, if people dont like it thats their problem not mine," while recognising actual short comings of course
I see authenticity as the end result of emotional growth. It is being a fully emotionally mature adult. Narcissism is a form of emotional immaturity/maldevelopement. The ones who can't grow are the ones who never learnt to separate their own self from that of their primary caregiver(s), something that normally happens at around age 4. That's why they either treat others as objects or as an extension of themselves to reward or punish as they please.
Indifference. Any attention is better than none to narcissists - good or bad, as long as they are center stage. The squeaky wheel gets the most oil. That's why walking works - feet don't have wheels 😁
I returned an unopened Christmas hoover and now he's in the rage stage. Like a spoiled toddler. I authentically laugh because I took back the power I gave him.
@@true3980 🤣 I've gone a step further. I don't return the gifts or acknowledge they've sent them. Maintain 100% radio silence. I give them to someone random who really appreciates it. So far, a tablet & gucci perfume has gone to a very happy teenage neighbour 😂😆🤣
Always step away! My late husband used to say “I want them in my heart, but not in my life” when he referred to the family members that he chose to step away from and have little contact with. Toxic narcissistic people will find a way to disturb your peace. Walk away and take control of your inner power.
That is the most balanced and loving way of describing the situation I have ever heard. Thank you for sharing your late husbands wise words. Was it his parents? I am having some guilt and troubled feelings around the mothers day/father day time.
Thank you, Dr. Ramani❤ Authenticity is really about self-mastery; knowing who you are, knowing your values and doing EVERYTHING in alignment with those set values and your true self!
My husband with a lot of ASD characteristics is like this and deeply authentic. Watching him interact with a narcissist in our family is so interesting. He is never rude or disrespectful but all the attempts to manipulate and even love bomb my husband do not work which makes the narcissist visibly uncomfortable
Its amazing isn't it! I had narcs all my life and learning to deal with my trauma and to now having to be contempt with myself its so easy to identify a narc and throw them off their shits and then why they try to make everyone hate me they end up exposing themselves because when people know your true authenticity not everyone can make up rumors about you because your real and everyones know your heart! The same can't be said about narcs 😂
I am ASD and my narcissistic (aspd) estranged husband would try to manipulate and emotionally abuse me, and I just absolutely annihilated him with pure logic every time, he couldn’t stand it😂😄
My little daughter is also on the spectrum of ASD. She's very authentic, and only shows affection to some people. She has a level of awareness that's very clear to me and my wife. When we go out with our daughter, she will very quickly identify someone she doesn't like. I know by her display of discomfort and facial expression.
@@vitormonteiro7313 people on the spectrum truly are the most authentic humans you can meet and good judges of character. Charisma doesn’t work for them and they can see right through it into genuine intentions. It’s very cool and I aspire to be more like that!!!
changing topics, smiling and laughing at their criticism in a calmly manner, literally taking their word as it came from a child in the body of an adult..
@@cicin9313 I would go even further and say: being lovingly and compassionately reactive to behaivour that is specifically designed to usually gain dismissive reactions in order to justifiy a victimisation of oneself. Non-reactive might just provoke another attempt. Contrary reaction might convince to stop.
I think it’s important for a narcissist to be around authentic people. I’ve had a friend in high school, she wasn’t rich, wasn’t extremely smart, but she has this “quiet confidence” that she really doesn’t bother when someone is better than her, something a narcissist can’t handle. Growing up with narcissistic mother, I always wonder how this friend of mine is extremely comfortable with herself. Then I met her family, and got all the answers lol. She grew up with such a genuine and kind family, which is probably the reason why she had a sense of self-security in such a young age.
It also happens when people grew up with narcs, they experience trauma and if they work in themselves they realise they can only control how they react not what others say or do so they just focus on themselves and preserving g their peace
I had the same experience, grew up with a complete narc family.My best friend family I just loved because they were loving and they were confident etc Kids just excelled in school
Authenticity requires a great deal of mastering peace within oneself. This allows one to remain true to one self. Meaning you don't feel compelled to hide your true self. This level of peace and confidence rocks a narcissist to their core.
To add to your comment they also inspire and cause you to have a drive within yourself. They are a blessing to everyone around them wise enough to appreciate them.
That's a luxury not everyone has now. Some people are dealing with whole systems processing them. The poor the elderly and disabled the economically weak and young but emotionally wise that got through with health and mental health in tact. A lady in a uniform assigned to their address, could be a personality or a helper. It's a casino out there now. Mental health advice needs to be given to people to deal with npd you negotiate from orderlies, and officers, people you literally cannot walk away from. Think "one flew over the cookoos nest" Tell people how to negotiate that sort of situation doc. Before the day comes you can't
@@Beth-iv4ljThere is always a time and a place. Only an idiot thinks all lives situations are black and white. You can always be true to yourself though and being poor or suffering from mental health problems doesn't stop that. It's like you can't always speak your mind unless you want sacking if you are at work. Knowing what's appropriate helps to but some people haven't got a clue about that.
@@charlottelouise209 the people assigned to the poor to process them in various ways after the corona virus had real mental health issues. Difficult people But social status. Nobody could say anything a long time. I think they had a clue
if you do that long enough, you'll gain a personality disorder..do that to cope for now..but work towards, being authentic, developing integrity, and (healthy) detachment from this world (including people).
@@holly3503 I feel like I do something along this. You just point out their “attacks” and say them out loud, and logically show them how weird they are being.
@@kindacoolanimation I don't think this is unhealthy. If anything, I don't think we gave enough information to determine what exactly he's doing. From the sounds of it, it seems like he's denying them their gratification for being rude.
I notice denying these kind of people their satisfaction will tend to do that especially if it's aimed at making a public spectacle to make themselves look good. The only time using their own shame against them or making it obvious to the public doesn't work is if they are already dead-set on landing some kind of hit against you where they don't care about the fallout it causes. Whatever sideways dance they do to rationalizing their actions might make them look bad. Narcs tend to be emboldened to do this more online because they can cover their tracks. Rarely have I met any narcissist who does this in person. That said, I do have a friend who has always been a bit like this. But after 20 years it's obvious his self grandiosity hasn't materialized any great life for himself. He needs me more than I need him. I'm sure he'll view it as some sort of betrayal when this apartment complex is finally either too expensive or gets condemned and I move out of this town instead of staying here next door. I got enough of my own issues to deal with.
Authentic people do get "bothered" by the narcissist, but their authenticity allows them to get over it in a heart beat. It's like swatting a fly away.
This authentic person has done medical research and discovered that her x-boyfriend had all the symptoms of a Narcissist and Asperger's, however the CAUSE is not intentional. These behaviors develop due to having to deal with the toxins being produced in their system. Parasites/Worms and other Amoebic parasites are rampant in these people. They live in a brain fog and their behaviors are developed to cover up their incorrectly diagnosed internal parasites. Parasites emit 5 toxins. Formaldehyde, Amphetamines, Histamines, Ammonia and Morphine. Any Authentic person getting a daily dose of these chemicals will ultimately develop some defensive behaviors. If you really want to CURE your clients then deworm them first and then help them control their parasites while helping them deal with the transition. Many like my x have lived with parasites their whole life and never knew it. My x had his appendix removed as a child(more than likely filled with worms) and had physical development /growth problems. All affected by these toxins in his system. The Main Stream Medical Community does NOT test for parasites. Some parasites live in the lymph system and not the GI tract. How these parasites get in they lymph system is still a mystery. For more information on this please watch The Universal Antidote Documentary on Rumble dot com. Here is the link rumble.com/vdey7t-the-universal-antidote.html
I mean when you take a step back and see the absurdity of it all, it's hard to take it to heart and give a shit. Though, it's always sad to see people being lied to, become disconnected from reality, and damage their relationships JUST for their ego.
I became “Aware, Authentic” after I finally learned to heal and love myself. After being in a narcissist, emotionally abusive relationship for decades a huge lightbulb went off! And I found the missing piece to the puzzle! I could see things/him so clearly. I was so dissociated , depressed, unhealthy throughout all the years. Very hard. But now I can see my healthy future. 💪🏻🙏🏻🧘🏻♀️❤
"The more authentic you become, the more resistant you will be to Narcissists.....they'll definitely speak bad about you behind your back, but if you're authentic enough, you won't care!" 💞
I was recently struggling to decide if I should go to a family event, knowing it was a trap set by the N, because if I didn't I would be crucified behind my back for not going. Then I realized, they are surely talking horribly about me anyway, so why walk into their trap to "prevent" them from having more fodder? Plus, if they needed more fodder, they would just make it up anyway.
It's almost like a really cool superpower, sometimes when I am going about my job people will make cold, mean remarks towards me and it doesn't bother me anymore.. I know my worth and that I am special, authentic and a good person
In contrast, authentic people are more kind-hearted than to walk around with a chip, that says, "I give zero Fs (sic)" on their shoulders. An authentic person doesn't get "triggered."
@@tammyhollis1519 - no one gets "triggered." That word has a specific meaning pertaining to PTSD. A mental health crisis is triggered by an event which brings up a memory. Yes, authentic people can get upset over things. That is part of being authentic.
This authentic person has done medical research and discovered that her x-boyfriend had all the symptoms of a Narcissist and Asperger's, however the CAUSE is not intentional. These behaviors develop due to having to deal with the toxins being produced in their system. Parasites/Worms and other Amoebic parasites are rampant in these people. They live in a brain fog and their behaviors are developed to cover up their incorrectly diagnosed internal parasites. Parasites emit 5 toxins. Formaldehyde, Amphetamines, Histamines, Ammonia and Morphine. Any Authentic person getting a daily dose of these chemicals will ultimately develop some defensive behaviors. If you really want to CURE your clients then deworm them first and then help them control their parasites while helping them deal with the transition. Many like my x have lived with parasites their whole life and never knew it. My x had his appendix removed as a child(more than likely filled with worms) and had physical development /growth problems. All affected by these toxins in his system. The Main Stream Medical Community does NOT test for parasites. Some parasites live in the lymph system and not the GI tract. How these parasites get in they lymph system is still a mystery. For more information on this please watch The Universal Antidote Documentary on Rumble dot com. Here is the link rumble.com/vdey7t-the-universal-antidote.html
I feel like authenticity is the ultimate goal in life. I don’t think anyone is born this way, you either become super in tune with yourself and grow into your authentic self. However to be authentic you must possess emotional intelligence, which for myself is something I have gained through life experiences. I feel like narcissistic relationships bring out your authenticity when you finally start to heal. You reflect and in hindsight realize just how different you would respond to many situations now. The wisdom gained through life shapes you becoming more and more authentic each day.
I kinda agree but then not really because I think children are generally authentic, even their tantrums are an authentic expression of what they feel (so I guess, I would disagree with Dr. Ramani's definition...she probably more means 'individuated' or as close to that as one can humanly be, which children aren't in a conscious sense. This is a semantic issue so kind of irrelevant I guess). Trauma changes them, some will become narcissists, others wounded but can heal later if they do the work and become authentic again but in a grown up way, with a pattern of emotional regulation and not reacting on 'cue' due to triggers. That's what I aim for myself.
Well, this is what narcissists are, but to a negative degree. Authentic people are honest about their feelings but they don’t do things with an ulterior motive. They don’t try to undermine a person’s abilities for the attention or sense of self-grandeur it’ll get them or disingenuously try to flatter someone in an attempt to try and manipulate them later.
Authentic is not the opposite of narcissistic. You can be authentic but narcissistic so even if you are narcissistic you can say that you have narcissistic trait without sugarcoat it (some of them often become comedian). But there is authentic but also kind person who is one of the best person you could ever met. There is a authentic and bad person too, the character who portray that is Joker. And there's also narcissistic and delusional person who think good about themselves but actually the opposite or you could say a hypocrite.
@@peppermintgal4302 I think better description of authentic people if thier consider the oposit eof narcissists is that they a re self aware and open to criticism
It sounds like authenticity can be one of those unexpected rewards for all the hard work it takes to heal from our trauma. You probably wouldn't even be aware of it in yourself. It probably pairs itself with humility. :)
Yes. I can't imagine authentic people going around saying, I am AUTHENTIC! But it does help the healing process to acknowledge this beautiful quality in one's self. The narc, on the other hand - he would go around saying, I am the Guru. SMH.
It takes a lot to unravel stuff, being able to be vulnerable and be rewarded with other people's vulnerability in turn is a pretty great. Finding community is so important for healing but trauma is often a direct barrier. If you're struggling, I hope you find people to do the work with you 💜
This authentic person has done medical research and discovered that her x-boyfriend had all the symptoms of a Narcissist and Asperger's, however the CAUSE is not intentional. These behaviors develop due to having to deal with the toxins being produced in their system. Parasites/Worms and other Amoebic parasites are rampant in these people. They live in a brain fog and their behaviors are developed to cover up their incorrectly diagnosed internal parasites. Parasites emit 5 toxins. Formaldehyde, Amphetamines, Histamines, Ammonia and Morphine. Any Authentic person getting a daily dose of these chemicals will ultimately develop some defensive behaviors. If you really want to CURE your clients then deworm them first and then help them control their parasites while helping them deal with the transition. Many like my x have lived with parasites their whole life and never knew it. My x had his appendix removed as a child(more than likely filled with worms) and had physical development /growth problems. All affected by these toxins in his system. The Main Stream Medical Community does NOT test for parasites. Some parasites live in the lymph system and not the GI tract. How these parasites get in they lymph system is still a mystery. For more information on this please watch The Universal Antidote Documentary on Rumble dot com. Here is the link rumble.com/vdey7t-the-universal-antidote.html
does anyone else just think that dr ramani is such a beautiful soul. every new video im wowed by the aura she exudes. hopefully one day i can radiate just like that
Authentic = words and actions are in alignment. They say what they mean, and they mean what they say. They keep to their morals and practice what they preach. The narc is incapable of authentic. They aren't sure what their moral compass is, what they believe in, what they don't; and say things that are never followed through in action. Their jealousy, internal voices in their head that are vindictive. All of which, interfere with that authenticity. Narcs. cannot accept, handle, or hear the truth about what they are more insecure about. And, I humbly agree, Dr. Ramani, authenticity means not caring what other people say or think about you. But, if confident in one's self, their ability to discern truth from fiction and hold hard in that stance; the authentic person is the ultimate goal to strive for. Fully believing in ourselves, our character, can make us stronger, and perhaps less resistant one will be toward the narc.
I agree, when actions and words match, that's authenticity. My only pain is that authenticity itself is not a shield or a protective armour. The narcissists in my life feel that I try to be as authentic as possible but they do play their stupid games, smear me or try to cause pain, etc. So unfortunately, authenticity itself is not an effective tool to perform "exorcism" and repel narcissists for good.
When a narcissist ( fool) is talking. Just walk away and say nothing. Why bother to reply to the words coming out of their mouth. What they are speaking is their ignorant trurh. About themselves. It's a lifetime subscription the narcissist hides behind their facade mask.
Dealing with a narcissist taught me that being open about my life and experience takes the power away from the narcissist. They will try to hold over you the things they think you don't want the world to know but if you're already telling the world they have nothing useful to threaten you. That doesn't mean I overshare with strangers regularly it just means that I own all the parts of who I am good, bad, and ugly, and don't keep it under lock and key. If I am telling the world my truth it cant be used to hurt me. Narcissists hate it because they are always grasping for a way to control you.
I definitely do the same thing and it has saved my ass in many social situations. Before I learned about narcissism I just thought it was an annoying trait that some people have. I'm seeing the bigger picture now.
OMG, it’s me you were talking about😮 The last years I had to work with narcisstic persons and so I became victim of really bad gossiping. What shocked me was that even good friends took part. I took refuge in early retirement, but they followed me into my private life and many social contacts were destroyed. But, as you said, I rest within myself. I continue to pursue my passions and live my life. The whole thing took 7 years and now I still have one battle to fight: defeating my PTSD
Started out as golden child, but was mean to others. Then suffered for years from neglect from friends and family. I lost all the spice from golden child years and became passive and observant, putting my feelings down in face of others. Now I'm trying to return to a peaceful, authentic life with an added gratitude and graciousness for others
I'm long done with passive... But am hopeful I'll continue passing through the "angry at bullies" part to where I can keep my cool in the future... Instead of delivering the elbow shots that those in my past deserved.
I got monkey in me, there is no passive, except under extreme stress, i submit and let higher self guide. I have strong survivor instinct due to trauma from early childhood on. Some of us get super human abilities cracked open under these types of pressures. medical says such things are disabilities. I choose to look at the up side of life.
@@johngregory4801 they’re smaller people.. the smaller you are the less moral integrity you possess. Bullies are so self absorbed that, they don’t realize how much they’re just taking giant shits wherever they go, if a bully ever actually became cognizant of why they bully people, jeesh. Good luck 🍀
I think this is why my narcassistic boss didn't like me. He just didn't know how to handle me. He knew I played drums and he did to and he would keep trying put down my skills or boost his, but he was mediocre and I had a music degree in jazz performance, toured, recorded albums. I was so confident in my abilities in that regards that he got no reaction from it. He would also bring up random factoids to impress people but had no follow up, and me being genuinely interested in some of these subjects would start up a discussion and then he'd get mad that he couldn't just pretend to have all this knowledge and he stopped doing it in front of me. At first I didn't even get it, a coworker had to explain "it's because when he goes and learns about jellyfish he's doing it to impress people, when you do it it's because you're interested in jellyfish."
Love this. I feel like I’ve just arrived at my authentic self. I’m in my 40s and I have learn the art of being unbothered and living true to myself. It is an amazing feeling and era of my life!
I'm 50 and just realizing my sister is a narcissist. I was with one for 20 years. So I educated myself to the fullest. Now she is panicking because I'm telling my truth
I feel I am moving towards more and more authentic person. My narssatic mother been saying a lot. She doesn’t regnoise me anymore. When she was poking me into low vibrations. Many times I just brushed it off. Of course after a while it did gets to me. But I am very different. I do not play her game or trying to engage when she wants me to fights. I also don’t want to heal or change people anymore. Which used to be my patterns. I am done . I love myself enough to be truthful to myself , so I am honest to the world too. Also not engaged to the low vibration. I have my whole life ahead of me to do others things that build me up. And in bliss and happiness ❤. I simply walk away from things that cause me hurt and pain. I trust my inner guidance and wisdom
When you can provide for yourself everything you thought you had to get from others, you become Teflon. They can't threaten to withhold something you already have.
Used to think of Narcissists as 'predators' to be aware of in the everyday urban 'jungle'. But nowadays they seem more analogous to parasites, which prefer to draw their 'nourishment' from living hosts. So while predators are best avoided altogether, parasites aren't always as easy to recognize in our travels. Though they can still be prevented thru effective 'barriers'... whether its protective clothing and a good immune system, or simply maintaining appropriate interpersonal 'boundaries'.
I actually found a comment that said "I'm coming to terms that i'm an authentic person.". As if coming to terms with your authenticity was some kind of negative thing you have to bitterly accept about yourself. :P Narcissistic humble-brag if i ever saw one. xD
My dear I am dealing with a roomate who challenges me all the time. He moved in 5 months ago. I told him he need to stop rinsing his mouth inside the kitchen sink and stop washing his hands on the kitchen sink after he does his business in the bathroom I mentioned it 3x. Be either gaslight, become dismissive or may say he won't do it again but keep doing it. It is triggering me some emotions because I am a good person, And can see through him. I feel so disrespect it. I had the Subletter of the premises to talk to him in the meeting he play a victim did not give me I contact made promises stop for a couple days and started doing it again I guess to be annoying confronted him again on a one to one as I am cooking and delivery washed his hands 3x in the kitchen sink after coming from the bathroom as I confronted him and told him I don't like it he said I said it was okay for him to do it. I did not respond. I feel so disrespected and seems I can not do anything. What is your advise please, shall I continue ring the abuse?
@Silver Halo thank you for your suggestion. Nope, he pretty much bath there. The bathroom is big. He just a jerk True Narcisist to the core 🙄 it is what it is. He agrees, apologyse and continue doing it.
HAHA yes! Weird isn't it? Like many people who are in lala land just interact with them but once they know you know, they're much darker and it's uncomfortable for both because we both know hahaha
It took me a long time but I am there too. Now just to cut that last thread of contact with my divorce. I’d rather live under a bridge than live with him anymore.
My mother is over 60 and exactly the same. BUT I’ve seen her be this way forever. She has that odd immunity. So self assured she glides right past and never gets snagged.
I have done a lot of self-work and continue to do so. Am in my early 30s and will never get married nor have kids. I had a traumatic childhood. An old soul. I have so far only attracted 2 people who are narcissists while I was briefly dating them. Brief because I walked away in less than 3 months because their behaviors signified poor boundaries, defensiveness, manipulation, edging, silent-treatment, and etc… I am an authentic person.
Having a traumatic and stressful childhood myself I can completely relate to why you decided on not getting married and having kids, even I am in my early 30s and as Im getting older my thoughts are quite similar to yours, have a wonderful rest of your life. Cheers!
“DO NOT CORRECT A FOOL, OR HE WILL HATE YOU; CORRECT A WISE MAN, AND HE WILL APPRECIATE YOU.”
Unfortunately my adult son is a fool (as the Bible states it). He can’t stand being corrected. Sad truth! He will then turn around and start blaming me 🤦♀️
@@infinitybless7132 There's a saying - " A fool who proceeds with his folly will become wise" *** Embracing the fool archetype may contradictorally be the path 'through' and out of foolishness .. because I think only 'You' can personally make the right decisions for 'yourself' , and that includes decisions of what to 'learn' or what lessons to take on board and live by ... I guess it's like , you NEED to be able to see the folly inherent in yourself and your decisions , completely and without being able to redirect blame to any other person or thing >>> I'm not a parent by the way , so there's that haha
@@infinitybless7132 tell him to stop bitching
Explains why the left censors rational discourse and individual expression
from the book of psalms in the bible
Narcissistic parents will throw their child to the wolves...Then stand back and criticize what the child does to stay alive.
sounds too familiar than I would like it to be
"I was raised by wolves and educated by boy scouts." Is something I have said for decades
i raised myself on the internet
😅😅😅 oh, no *rewind my history* *laughs* So true!
Sad but true
After growing up with a narc mom and working my whole life to heal the trauma, my motto is “what you think of me is none of my business.”
Omg I say the exact same thing now
@@tessarae9127 Your mom probably uses that to say she's not responsible for your feelings so she's not held accountable for her actions.
I've got to use that.
@@heal-thee9109 HEAL
Narc parents are so damaging
My aunt once told me "You are the truth teller. That's why they alienated you."
This is me, but I only just realized that it a gift and not a curse. I’m a leader of the new world, never meant to fit in, never meant to follow anyone.
I’m here to help people heal and see the beauty of life and find the magic in everyday existence
this made me cry bruh
My grandpa was the only one who didn't alienated me, and said the same thing to me.
Fascinating. Does she wear Kaftans?
This is me too. I felt like a ghost when I was a kid.
My perception is that narcissistic people are jealous of authentic people, especially if the authentic person is intelligent or interesting or possesses positive traits of any kind.
And my experience is narcissists then become resentful of authentic people.
my mother views my character as weakness because of how she was raised. it scares the shit out of her cos all she knows is defensiveness.
My mom gets upset when my husband is nice to me because “why can’t I get the same from your father!” Like what?!
Exactly!
Not necessarily authentic people. It's everyone in general. They feel a deep sense of shame whenever they see positive traits in anyone. So they feel the need to be critical or begin to copy the individual
Sounds like authentic people are the embodiment of "Do no harm but take no shit".
100%
Exactly you said it right 🤙🏽
"Be water my friend." Bruce Lee
Amen
Cringe lmao
I wonder how many narcissists are watching this thinking they are the authentic person.
I have to giggle at what you just said.
😂😂😂😂😂
That’s right, narcissists are now learning all the jargon to keep pushing to not be exposed, pay attention to the difference between what they say after ‘I am…’ and what they actually do, that’ll give you clues of the reality of who they are.
😂🤣🤣all of them
@Sleetstormwho know? most of the time they just don’t want to meet doctors so people have to “guess”. I did too but now I don’t care to label my mother as NP or something anymore, to me she is just too cruel for a human being, nevermind as a mother.
My husband qualifies as authentic. Calm, rational, thoughtful…in twelve years I only heard him raise his voice once and it was in deference of me. What gift of a husband.
Wow. You're truly blessed
Show this love to him instead of UA-cam comment section
I’m sure she does she’s just letting the world know she’s blessed and that theres hope for everyone🤷🏽♀️💜
I treat him like a king as he deserves .@@islixxn
Those traits don’t necessarily mean “authentic.” Authentic means direct honesty, zero bullshit and lies, and only speaks the truth. Also they don’t pretend to be something they’re not. Thats authentic.
When narc’s encounter a genuine person, they seem to feel threatened.
I noticed the same thing
It's because WE are something that they will never be.....REAL🌟⚘
I guess they loose their ground. Rsrsrsr. It is funny to see them shut up.
Yes ...
That's because they are!
Narcissists are everywhere. When you run into one, just tip your hat and keep it moving. They are a literal waste of thought, effort, and time.
Well said!
that seems so de-humanising
I couldn't agree more.
My ex with bpd is dating a narcissist and they both play each other
Absolutely! When faced with narcs, it’s best to just keep moving forward like you say. There’s no need to entertain their hateful, aggressive nonsense, as they don’t even deserve the negative supply that they crave.
When you stop explaining / defending yourself to wounded people, the journey to authenticity begins.
and the journey to Compassion ends
@@alangardiner872 I’ve lived with a true narcissist for over 20 years, I did plenty of compassion and once you allow them in, that is when they get their supply and you feel horrible and confused and mistreated. It’s a real illness and mine also had passive aggressive and stonewalling. It was hell, and I finally left and I have moments of authenticity but after so many years of that, working on it and climbing out of that hell isn’t easy. And there was true gaslighting. You are told lies that you know he said. And just when you think it’s safe, he acts out. It doesn’t end and they cannot say sorry. It’s a danger to my health if I have compassion for him. He’s in my life still bc he has to be for another year. He sucks me in and spits me back. I don’t wish this treatment on anyone.
@@alangardiner872 compassion towards a narcissist is suicide. Sorry but I’ve lived that truth and hold it to be self-evident. ❤️
It’s my number one lesson I’ve learned from social media: don’t justify yourself, and especially don’t justify your personhood
True, true. I often find it's better to bulldoze than justify myself too.
Authentic people are honest, transparent and don't envy flashy things.
Why? Because you like those traits?
Ik, I don't envy but I def love flashy things
So I fit your meaning of Authentic person but I don't fit what the video says. I've always been told how authentic and genuine I 6 I do get angry at times, I do raise my voice, and I am ok with being a party pooper and leave somewhere when I want lol
@@dblr4931dunno if you're authentic in this context but you just described me to a T
@garcia130: Key word: Transparent: Narcissists spot this trait in a flash.
I've noticed that authenticity is often painted as narcissistic, usually by narcissist.
Or it's devalued like no authenticity is overrated or not really Authentic 🤷🙄
@@annatevesbanzon1359 Yup. Been told, "Only concerned about yourself." And this because I just went over to get the rent, and declined to take him to the store or loan him money.
Me too & questions oneself after suffering narcissistic abuse!
I always feel that most people that are accusing others of narcissism are quite judgmental and narcissistic. I’ve never felt that I’ve met a narcissist or have had issues with the topic, but I’m very authentic and straight forward so perhaps narcissists aren’t attracted to me or I don’t see them.
@@Lyndsay.King1111 you will know when you meet one.
They are usually diabolical.
If you have healthy parents you may be protected from the realm of narcs because they have protected you in a way that narc parents do not protect their children.
This term you use "authentic" really seems to be an honest person who has healed enough from trauam to resist being triggered.
Yes or someone who is and has not been involved with a narcissist or more specifically THAT narcissist. If it were a random rude person talking over everyone and being a jerk it would be easy to walk away. When it's the narc stalking me, coming to my table of friends and interrupting EVERY time any of us speaks and trying to take over like heck am I going to continue calmly trying to move the conversation back or go home. I'm out with MY friends, he found out I was in pub X, he comes to whatever place I've been spotted in by his flying monkeys, tries to 'join us' without invitation and take over the conversation and night...yep we're all trying to avoid the drama and scene he will cause if we ask him to leave us alone, but damn, we're not going to accept him or leave either.
We've got the point where girlie nights had to always be at my flat to avoid his BS. Since covid and lockdown that is changing, we are reclaiming our right to go out and not be harassed. When he starts that crap again we won't be making a quiet exit to my flat, we're standing our ground and getting him removed from bothering us. I don't think standing your ground or being assertive is not authentic. The person described in the video seems to be dealing with a narc who is nothing to do with them and part of that circle of people. A common situation and great advise for avoiding letting them in etc but not even possible when it's the uninvited narc who you've escaped!
Or is kind enough to themselves to honor triggers when they arise, and step away from the source of the trigger.
The best explanation!! Bravo!!
@@jessicataylor7174 women out together and a known narcissist tries to join the group? Yeah right. Been there. Put socialised niceties aside and as a collective firmly state he wasn't invited along and he should leave you alone. If he refuses quietly walk over to security and explain it. At that point, he has moved from over friendly to harassment. If he argues with security over staying away from your group there's a good chance he will be ejected. A group of women usually spend more than one man. Other men usually spend more on women they like. Your group is an asset to the business. Just keep it polite to hold the high ground. And thank the staff so they'll look after you in future.
I've healed myself and my NPD sister hates the grey rock treatment, she get's such a confused look on her face I LOVE IT!
The narc will try and exclude the authentic person from the group.
that explains stepsons 21st
This 🙌🏼
I got pushed out of a job by a narcissist because of my authenticity bombs
@@xylemnilsen8944 ha ha, I've been there too. I don't treat them to all of my authenticity now! :-)
I was exiled from an entire group of friends who called me “family” by a narcissist in the group who became jealous of my connection with the rest.
Narcissists have an uncanny knack of finding and targeting those that are vulnerable and easily manipulated. They also have the ability to appear (normal) until you are deeply invested in a relationship with them, then all the ugly surfaces!
yes, reminds me of these romance scammers
No fuckin doubt
One must never be afraid to walk. Abuse is a no no be be at 10 days mark, 10 weeks, 10 months or 10 years. I'll Invest, sure, but also monitor the stock market regularly. If the return on investment is too low, it's time to go.
That’s what happened to my daughter…
But she’s in the process of breaking free now
Their mask drops off!!!
My best friend is an authentic girl. As a matter of fact, the narcissist guy called her dismissive to her face and she said “oh okay. Well, I hope you find what you are looking for.” And she is so very calm when she said it. And he said that he will block her number. And she said “okay, take care. Goodbye.” All calm and collected. I need to learn that skill
Self love will take you down that road.
I've found that practicing this in online interactions first is easier and helps a lot.
Normally I don't engage with online arguments but I'm not friendly either.
One time I got a really negative reply on an innocent commemt and it felt so ridiculous that I asked the person if they were having a bad day and why they were so angry.l, and they actually apologized and said they were going through something, first time that I had a person online do a 180° like that, snd it felt so much better than winning an argument, it was actually really wholesome.
So since than I've tried to be less confrontational and reactive when someone says an extreme thing to me because I hope to have that good feeling of making a bad interaction a good or neutral one, it makes me feel way more peaceful inside, even if I do have an argument I feel comfortable leaving it when the other person is being unreasonable and I'll feel proud thst I did that.
I think this sort of practice will make a person resistant to toxic behaviour and not he effected by negativity.
@Autumn Leaves that’s not true for everyone. I’ve been with a narcissistic alcoholic for 15 years. I still love him with all my heart. I’ve learned through al anon to detach with love. It works for me.
bingo Maggie , your friend sounds awesome. She sa it a calm voice that what triggers the narcissist to rage . Cuz your is not falling for the bait !!
Amazing 😊Someone who is very comfortable in their own skin and I am sure a wonderful friend to have 👍😊
Funny fact is, when you set boundaries with a narcissist, they will usually claim that you are only seeing your side in the situation, as if you are the narcissistic. Best thing to do is to leave in silence.
Yup. Better to not engage with them anymore. Let them win whatever they want just don't give them the fight.
Yes very true.. becos they don't see themselves from a 3rd party perspective.. they only see themselves as the most victimized person ever and when we set boundaries, we get added to their list of people who victimize them, because we stopped the supply..
Idc. He will NOT commandeer MY PORCH!
"Like a good neighbor, STAY OVER THERE!" 😂
I refuse to say a word to him or acknowledge him or his kids!... but i rest assured that porch has a cam on it!
The nerve! Lol
Exactly!!! Narcissist literally see boundaries as abusive because they feel they're entitled to do whatever they want to you..
totally - no nned to go down to their level = they are the expert there and you will get stung
Older people-smart ones-realize they have a limited time left on this planet, and don’t want to waste any of that time on drama.
Oh so true!
@@nancyn891 Older people
At around age 60, I realized the time I had left was too precious to waste on dishonest game players. Even if they were family.
Black sheep aren't so concerned with herd mentality either. 🖤
The thing is though, death can come to anyone at any age. A 2oyearold may depart today whilst a 60yearold lives for another 20years!
We can all work towards being/living authentic now, both younger & older.
Excellent topic. I'm 74 and have been learning about narcissism for 2 years. As the big picture began to clear away the fog my narcissist husband created, I began to discover my forgotten self. Not surprisingly, he upped the abuse. I didn't leave him - but only because he ordered me out of the house and to take nothing because it was all HIS. These people are baffling in their attitudes. I still shake my head and ask how on earth did they become like this? I'm looking forward, at 74, to living my own life finally. It will be tough financially, but I don’t need much and friends have stepped up to help furnish my new little place. Finally, I'm at peace with who I am.
did you have kids together? I've been 13 years with my bf... deep down I still love him. I just can't believe how he goes from being the best bf in the world, to 10 mins later transform into the cruelest monster out there and don't show a minimum of respect for me... like he never loved me. It's like an intense hate in his eyes. It's truly hard to believe... And the reason of his "transformation" might be something as stupid as I didn't wash a single glass of water immediately after he used it... it's like what these videos say: you will never be good enough for them, they will always find something that hurts you to tear you down... life is so hard with him when he's like this... and I did think about having kids with him... because I love him... but then I think about how many times *harder* it would get with kids... I don't think I could bare that... I went from having an extremely hard life living 26 years with my borderline sister (you wouldn't believe the things she did...) to live with my bf that happens to have a narcissistic personality 😔 what is life trying to tell me? lol
@@Nebulousss Wow. Just wow.
WE GOT THIS 💪🏽💪🏽 rooting for you 🫶🏽💯
Best of luck to you!!!
@@Nebuloussslife do you even HEAR yourself? Please, for the sake of possible unborn children, do not have children with this individual.
Authenticity comes from being comfortable with and valuing yourself. The narcissist is terrified of hearing truths.
couldnt agree more...i think i have always been authentic, being child of both narc parents i can say that, thats wat saved me(being authentic)...no doubt that my wisdom is increasing with age but the authenticity was always there to begin with...its not something i caught on at a particular age
@@spdadventurer1754 seems like kids who come from narc parents go in one of two ways: either, they become JUST like their narc parents OR they become super empathic. Might have to do with high emotional quotient (EQ).
@@starryeyednomad3519 yes!
@@alex2b450 which means no one did a very good job at showing any of it? and if that is the case, who can blame them for not seeing! when it's the blind leading the blind, isn't it just par for the course! the way for all who have yet to truly lift the veil of the old matrix!? or "system"?! which makes all kinds of room for the real teachers to finally come out of the shadows... who knows? where it might lead? if we just tried, to be, better! and I do see wonderfully inspired comments around, these days! as more and more choose to get out of the system that blinded them one time too many! Trust is all but gone and love, wisdom and accurate knowledge, hopefully, will save us all! Psalm 91 alone, is wowing me daily! and notebooks filled with others, that keep me, in heaven on EARTH, in my own HEART!
Couldn't you just be comfortable with and valuing yourself but not comfortable with other people? Idk, I don't feel like I mask because I don't value myself, but because I think that the world is scary.
My oldest daughter is a very authentic person. I find that she is one of the only people that I feel safe with. Even her criticisms are done with love. I leave a conversation with her feeling happy, at peace, not confused, etc. She can make everyone feel special without lying or being fake. I never could figure out how she does it. She was born this way! I wish I was!
How very special!!
I have these traits if you are my friend. 😁 Not Enemy though.
She is your daughter and therefore a product of you the ability for you to reckoning those traits in her says a lot of good about you and her ability to be the way she is.
Rob H
💞
@kathy E
💞
The older I get, the more comfortable I am with being the "weird" person in the room. In fact, it's become a beacon for me and helps me better figure out who is toxic, dangerous or who to avoid.
Narcissists definitely rely on social convention and "normalcy" to shame and control people. Most people kind of chuckle or raise an eyebrow at my odd behaviors, but the minute someone resorts to shaming me for benign but unconventional behaviors, I know exactly who I'm dealing with.
Amen!
real rap
Mic drop
Yes… good for you. I feel the same . Protect yourself.
Its called being grounded and knowing exactly who you are. You are not influenced by other people very easily. Thats how i am.
😂😂😂
Me too. Who I project myself outwardly "as" though, sometimes does change, depending on my mood, the time of the month and whether I have dark chocolate. I'm ok with that. :o)
@@iamcimos3567right!😂 if I’m caffeinated enough I’m so authentic …haha
I was thinking my sister went crazy after her mid life crisis but turns out i ran into narcissistic traits and she checks every box, they are dangerous ppl and turns out she seduced my dad so she could get rid of him, the reason i put this together is because i remember this conversation my future step dad had with my mom, that my sister would shower with the door open, and keep in my mind he hated my dad, he said he's pretty sure she did the same thing to my dad, took me 40 yrs but my sister for some reason tries to get rid of ppl, she very rude and pumps up mom to Believe my wife is a bad person, i nevr understood why she was always rude, and it was her way of the nothing, i noticed she was always jealous of her daughters, like shes 46 and can't let go of being everything about her. Yes it gets worse but before the serious one, she would always talk down on my kids, and im thinking what kind of person would try n hurt a kids feelings, that was it for me. And yes of course she became a big ultra maga supporter, like she cant back of her reasoning for real issues but she just says lil sayings typical maga would say, but she's gets really aggressive and offensive cuz i mock her cuz im not one to be bullied. But here's the kicker, she called me one night all drunk right before Thanksgiving unloading that she's been hiding frm the family that her daughter has cancer and she doesn't kno what to do eveb tho the 3 doctors recommended immediate treatment, but shes one of those magas that also doesn't trust doctors or medicine, so saying she not going the route or try anything help my niece have any fighting chance, just to fit her narrative she's willing to let her daughter die!!! And the next morning she texts me to forget what she said and that she was wrong for it, at this point im thinking she crazy, but im telling you all this to show that these are some dangerous ppl, i might have lost a father over her actions of jealousy, oh yea i forgot she's my half sister but i always called her my sister. It amazes how someone can cause all this wreckage and believe she has no sympathy for others but herself. I cut her off for my kids and wife, my mom is the hardest to convince how manipulative she is but you kno moms believe their kids are perfect
To me authenticity is when your thoughts, words and actions align.
Right!!!!!
Lol 😂 that took Confucius to 70 year’s old before he achieved that. I thought I could outperform him and I was wrong.
Good luck 🍀 .
But I’m sure you line works well for likes 👍.Humility isn’t popular nor is highlighting ones failures, however... errors well digested lead to profoundly solid transformations.
@@karamlevi "we don't depend on luck, we use alchemy"
I think authentic people are always trying to figure out what is best and true, and they try hard to hold themselves to that standard. My husband is narcissistic, but not evil. I see him for what he is. I pray for him, redirect him, and praise him when I see proper actions. He was poorly socialized. He was mistreated as a child and retreated to a world of books. Fortunately, he was attracted to hero characters who always saved people, so I know that is his heart's desire, to be a savior. But he loves attention and praise and always turns every conversation back to himself. I get embarrassed by this and by his boastfulness. And it is super annoying how he loves to tell us about other people's faults and weaknesses, like it's fun to point out other people's stupidity or addictions. Then he tries to keep his own weaknesses hidden. He is an incredibly hard worker though, and he works very long hours in super uncomfortable conditions so I can stay home with the children. He is very skilled at fixing almost anything mechanical. He is a very good problem solver. He's a good leader at work, never asks his men to do anything he wouldn't. Sometimes he behaves emotionally immaturely, but other times he doesn't. It really seems to be strongly related to what "news" he reads and watches or what online social media he is interacting with. I do believe we are strongly influenced by what we read and watch and listen to. I think people are complex with all sorts of problems. I will always love him. And I will always pray for him. And I will never give up on him because he is mine to love forever.
We become our thoughts, habits, food, what we listen to, what we pay most attention to etc. We are simultaneously the product and creator of our environment 💜✨ your husband sounds like a wonderful man who will continue to progress, and you being there to guide and love him despite his short comings is definitely an incredible gift that I'm sure has and will continue to benefit y'all's individual and connected growth as well as the collective.
I would imagine Dr Ramani herself is an example of an authentic person.
Yes! I suspect authenticity is one of Dr Ramani’s finest qualities.
@@Nina_Olivia Agreed. I find her refreshingly real - and authentically beautiful ... my mum was the same although blonde haired and blue eyed. She had that same unaffected beauty.. so fortunate...
We need to make a statue!
💯
Yes
My wife is very authentic and she is super nice to people. So people think she’s a push over. Then some one tries to mess with her and she gets extremely intense and direct and she melts them. Ppl will know her for years and won’t see this side. I haven’t seen this in anybody else in my life. Very unique and very awesome.
That's top level.
There comes a point when a decent person has to let someone know there bullshit is not welcome and was never acceptable.
Kudos to her!
She sounds like me I truly believe people take my kindness for weakness then I snap and I’m the villain oh well lol
That’s really cool that you have a wife that is authentic. What’s cooler is that you see that and appreciate her. Takes one to know one.
@robhernandez1827Yeah I’m similar to this person’s wife and it’s not aggression. It’s just very direct, “Hey I have self respect and I will not tolerate disrespect”. It’s shutting the other person down without raising your voice or insulting, but just speaking clearly and seriously. No smiling or apologizing for shutting them down, instead being confident. Otherwise I’m actually a quite shy person that always wants to be kind lol
Same. I am very nice to people but have no problem going scorched earth on narcissists
After two years of being "in love" with a narcissist I was only one step away from committing suicide. It was like he took me, threw me to the ground and shattered everything I was into millions of pieces - and then left. Now, two years later, I am grateful for this episode of my life, as it granted me the chance of becoming whole and true. I was destroyed and had to build myself new from the beginning - and while I was doing that, I finally learned to see and feel this "self", which was very different than the one I thought I was. In fact, he didn't shatter -me-, but the shell I was, build up from old wounds, old fears and old ideas. I am thankful for this experience and for the incredible opportunity to heal - not only from the wounds the narcissist did to me, but from the deep wound of being lost and disconnected from myself.
I was a helpless, frightened child, full of fears and desperate to find someone who could save me.... now I am saved by myself. Finding this connection will lead to authenticity and nothing feels more comfortable than that. Finally, there's peace.
Said very well and by someone who knows how to make beauty from ashes and learn from experiences . 🤍🕊️
God bless u
Thank You Jesus for helping her. Please continue to draw her to You Lord. To seek the Kingdom of Heaven first, then other things shall be added
Wow, thank you so much for sharing your experience. I'm glad you have realized your strength through a painful experience. I have come to the same realization after my very similar experience.
I felt the same. We should be grateful to God for helping us to leave them.
Sounds like authentic people live in alignment with their moral philosophy.
Their moral philosophy are generally warp.
A moral philosophy that is grounded in emotional realism (that we are emotional creatures, not just cognitive thinkers)
Yes ....the Bible say when you know who you are in Christ what the world think does not really matter ,Im 46 years old ,and it took me long time of suffering because i was a nice person,very sensitive ,try to get along with everybody (i thougth),and was very reactive to what people do and say about me ...once i learn that it does not really matter (i Bring people in need to eat and sleep in my House and still talk bad about me ...),i know im a loving, compassionate,honest overall good person and thats all that matter,we will all meet same narcissist in our Life that tell us ,we are horrible,disgusting,sloppy ,good for nothing human being "know the truth (that you are a Beautyfull human being created by a migthy God at His Image and likeness,thats all you need to know) and the truth will Set you free"... And you will no longer Put your inner value dependent of acceptance and aproval from Others.We can Control other people mouth and behaviour but WE can Control how we react to it
@@effrakataeffrakata2092 thank you ! I needed to read that.
Authentic people have a broad range of areas of awareness regarding personalities and temperaments. It’s similar to customer service at its best and mastering communication.
I had always thought of myself as "authentic." But this made me realize that being a "people pleaser" is NOT being authentic to myself. Thank you, Dr. Ramani!
Best tips for you is don't involve in any unreasonable scenario but don't tolerate what will affect you and learn to reject somethings most importantly don't try to hurt others by overreacting.
@@abdulraheemfatimah4760 That would make sense if I were a Vulcan.😉
I thought the exact same thing. Listening to this makes me want to sit down take a few deep breaths and calm myself.
Yes. This is huge.
Word, I feel the exact same way
Authentic people sound a lot like they’re just emotionally mature and self-aware.
They sure are! and rare too! but, since the covid, there seems to be more coming out of the shadows! And your name means? "Harvester"! (mine too)
@@theresefournier3269 That’s really incredible that you brought that up today. I meditated on “I am a conduit to connect resources” and a harvester can be a person who collects resources for future use! What an incredible synchronicity from the Universe!
@@pesamesagisum It's called "synchronicity"! which is something that you will find yourself experiencing exponentially! (you are "blessed", as well).
@@pesamesagisum Oh my! I hadn't even seen this last part of your comment until after I wrote mine! which is when i realized that, of course, and not surprisingly, you already knew! and yes, we are incredibly blessed my spiritual sister! and wise harvester!
Thank you
After surviving narcissistic abuses, and still healing, I look forward to this new goal - authenticity 😉
Lol Right?! Although really it should be repenting to Jesus Christ. Seeking the Kingdom of Heaven first, then other things shall be added to you
@@zacharyeldridge1975 😂🤦♂️🤣
Basically work on urself until your so unbothered by them they don’t wanna be bothered with you. You’re not acting grey rock you ARE greyrock.
Exactly!!!
but greyrock seems so boring to have to be
Very well said Karen ,i my self living exactly of what you just said and is very peaceful and powerful place to be.
Nice!
I agree, n I see now we are all the walking wounded children doing our best, this helps to not judge others. But some of us work a lot harder at evolving into the person we were meant to be before it was taken away from us as a child. I have empathy for people who don’t realize it takes action instead of blaming. Unaware of this they are always searching outside themselves for the answers. I’ve also realized the only way to become authentic n receive answers is to go within. Learning to let go of the past by living in the moment brings calm / peace and creates space for less n less reason for subconscious reactions. And to be more gentle with ourselves, we’re not perfect all the time and that’s OK. The more u love yourself the more u can feel free to love others, even if it’s from a safe distance.
"Truth-tellers often become scapegoated." -- You just solved my life!
@M I A me too!
Sadly, most of human interaction is illusory
Yes.. Thanks a ton for solving all mysteries around unanswered questions of my lyf. U ve definitely changed infinite lives forever.. Blessed to have discovered a whole new world -knowledge of which - will definitely make me more useful to God, universe and world.. Focusing on only positives and my goals.
Hare Krishna
Bingo - so true. And when they speak the truth they are told things like 'don't be so ridiculous' and/or 'you lack insight' - told that enough times they can start to question their own sanity which is what the narc wants them to do.
“Narcissists waste lots of time winning others over because they are soooo insecure and need the supply”
Narcissists are intimidated by authentic people. Authentic people attract the crowd, attention, and most of all the respect that narcissists so badly want, and they do it without trying. Narcissists know that authentic people see right through them and fear they will expose who they are.
❤ Yep!
You’re confusing authenticity with eccentricity
I found authentic people are very non-judgmental of others. So wonderful to be around.
This authentic person has done medical research and discovered that her x-boyfriend had all the symptoms of a Narcissist and Asperger's, however the CAUSE is not intentional. These behaviors develop due to having to deal with the toxins being produced in their system. Parasites/Worms and other Amoebic parasites are rampant in these people. They live in a brain fog and their behaviors are developed to cover up their incorrectly diagnosed internal parasites. Parasites emit 5 toxins. Formaldehyde, Amphetamines, Histamines, Ammonia and Morphine. Any Authentic person getting a daily dose of these chemicals will ultimately develop some defensive behaviors. If you really want to CURE your clients then deworm them first and then help them control their parasites while helping them deal with the transition. Many like my x have lived with parasites their whole life and never knew it. My x had his appendix removed as a child(more than likely filled with worms) and had physical development /growth problems. All affected by these toxins in his system. The Main Stream Medical Community does NOT test for parasites. Some parasites live in the lymph system and not the GI tract. How these parasites get in they lymph system is still a mystery. For more information on this please watch The Universal Antidote Documentary on Rumble dot com. Here is the link rumble.com/vdey7t-the-universal-antidote.html
But that's what gets us taken advantage of
Good take
The problem is, you take things logically, and with empathy. Two things narcissists have no comprehension of. They will call you smart and intelligent, and then call you an idiot for tripping on a cord they left on the floor.
They are just who they are. They don't need to juxtapose themselves or find their place with others by judging them.
Authentic people are rare, in my opinion, and they are not dramatic, they’re real; content where they are. They do not care what other’s think of them and they move forward with their simple basic life style and that’s everything to them. They are enough.
Thank you
I want to be like that.
@@lilstinkers5260 why? It's a lot of heartache that comes with it. There's plenty of wonderful things too
A part of being authentic is the unconditional acceptance of a human including their scars,their imperfections and stage in their evolution.
Simple and basic life. Enjoying the things that money can't buy, like a kiss from my two year old grandson and watching him play and dance and he is so funny! Now for me that's living.........
Being authentic isn't just a "secret weapon against narcissists", it's an important virtue to have just for yourself ❤
It is my weapon against narcissist due to being abused by them my whole life. I am safe now knowing they are not able to abuse me ever again
That's the core level importance. Well said
@@monicamiles4544 It's always girls making comments like these. I bet you are the problem. How could you possibly be abused by narcissists your whole life? Either you are delusional or you have been going from man to man looking for your "best source of supply" and found yourself being treated like a commodity, because you have made yourself one.
You should be building armor not weapons.
@@466rudy6 You can't win if you only defend yourself. You need to bite as well
Most of the people describe me as "genuine". And there was one manager who particularly used this sintagma of "authentic person". When I asked what does it mean (as English is not my native language) he explained that I am able to "leave" my body and judge my own actions as it was someone else, to distance myself from situation and make objective decission - which makes it much easier for me to learn and much easier for him to make me a great leader. I was so flattered.
Dating a narcissist is like dating your biggest hater.
Well put Ana!
haha that's so true! I literally asked my ex "do you even like me? Like, forget love, but do you even like me as a person?"
😂😂😂 straight up
I asked my spouse in the first 2 months are you even attracted to me!!!! Lord
WOW is that true
"the more authentic you become the more resistant you will be to narcissists" 🙏
= more true to yourself and the absurdity of it all!
I've found that to be the case. They tend to run from authentic people because narcissists have a tough time telling the truth.
@Boom O'Shootin All the best to you too :)
@@HaleyMary Narcs are meant to be fleeting lessons. Wouldn't want to out or shame them, wouldn't stay either. Don't want to waste energy. I'd say a self aware person learns from a difficult experience. When a self aware person acquires a tool belt. It makes it easier to spot and resist them.
I think i just realized why mine has been getting so much angrier as i grow more comfortable with my identity
Narcissists sniff you out and try to isolate you in the group... but the Narcissist always reveal themselves
Only if the others are smart enough and have a good heart. Otherwise the others will believe all their lies
If the Narcs have high social value and they get things done, then it doesn't matter. The group would not want to see right and wrong, they will choose from whom they get advantage,gifts Nd favours.
Life isn't so fair and just as we expect it to be
No one my family see's my covert narcissist sister for who she really is. It's so frustrating!!! I haven't talked to her in 2 year's.
@@8656737s Lemme guess, they also give you crap for being "rude", "disrespectful", "petty" for distancing yourself from her? Currently dealing with this from my partner's family. They can't fathom there'd be any reason you'd stop talking to a relative.
@@8656737s And as time goes by you will feel more and more at peace with yourself ! They never change and often they have one of the parents on their side. That makes it even harder. Keep strong.
as an authentic autistic who knew no other way of being i found myself in the damage of repeated patterns of these relationships again and again. only learning about (late diagnosed and untreated) autism (and also narcissism) helped me. i could never understand why my honesty and vulnerability could threaten others so much.i thought i was the vulnerable one, i was told by society that i was the “weak” one. but i always stood my ground with others in various relationships, no matter how crazy they made me feel. i was unable to lose my core self somehow. and for this, they seemed angry as hell.
I am not autistic as far as I know although I may be on the spectrum, I’m 64 & never been tested. I am an empath & super sensitive, but held onto my true self through it all, until the final discard. And there were times when it nearly killed me. My ex would say to me “You’re an enigma to me, no matter what I throw at you you’re always happy.”
I realise now I was what he wanted to be, not what he wanted.
This comment makes me feel less alone. Thank you for sharing your experience.
Best compliment I ever received: "I never met anyone so comfortable in their own skin."
That’s GOAL
I'd like to feel that, even just once. Whenever I feel any joy, any at all, something comes a moment later to take it away from me.
I'm not sure if it's from abuse or a curse or a Demon doing it to me. It's happened so often I don't get happy anymore. I feel like I will be punished for anything good that comes my way. It will just be taken from me because I can't defend myself.
Having a child with disabilities taught me this exact thing your are talking about. In genera,l this has taught me whats important and whats a waste of time. Especially emotionally. I keep a good healthy antennae on narcassist.
@@lorimiller4301 u need therapy or some soul searching or both ..try being in solitude for a while, and busy yourself with personal development & develop your character, principles and values.
@@lorimiller4301 the power of our thoughts and minds are being plagued. Be careful what you think, and say. And spend time watching and listening to & reach out to God. This will change your life
It's true that the narc doesn't like or pursue the honest transparent person. I think honesty intimidates them and inside they know they are disfunctional and they don't like that inferior feeling. So yes! They will go talk bad about you to almost everyone you know. I heard this Proverb and it went something like, when people bare false witness against honest people it's only a matter of time before honesty revels the truth....I have experienced this Proverbs without having to defend myself because true honest character will always dispel a lie!
Yes, indeed.
Powerful, insightful statement.
Congratulations for
moving forth with
your life. Bravo
to you. Remain
strong and resilient
as you journey to
new beginnings.
What's for certain and
always count on. This quote.
By the late Maya Angelou.
"When a person shows you
who they are. Believe them
the first time." The simplicity
as you heal in spite of
the experiences.
Hold truth that.
Winners (YOU) never lose and
losers (Narcissist) never win.
It's a waste of time trying to
help the narcissist save
themselves from themsleves.
The Narcissist live in a trap
mental personality disorder.
That will always be lived in
a world filled with darkness
and unhappiness their entire
life. Believe me I known and
seen many narcissistic
people have no peace.
Not even narcissist taking
their last breath. They die
with a tortured soul.
God gives the narcissist
an opportunity to repent
from their sins. This would
give the narcissist a chance
to finally be free from their
demons for eternity in heaven.
Rather than spend eternity
in the fire within a burning
bottomless pit. In a place
called hell.
Speak up/Assert yourself when confronted though. Don't be silent.
It can let the damage fester so deep&wide that the wound leaves a massive scar.
Very well said. Exceptional comment
“Truth tellers often become scape goated” I FELT THAT SO HARD IN MY SOUL
same here
You just suffered throw that phase, but on the other side is a much stronger, congruent sense of self…and you won’t tolerate being labeled or duped into being a scape goat…it comes with the love of self (the healthy kind).
yes, me too!
I felt so understood, it made me cry, while having flashbacks of situations where I made narcissists feel uncomfortable (unintended) with tremendous effects on my life. Getting wiser and older now, good to know that getting past this becomes easier with age!
Ugh yes i still feel like i have to be that way a lot too, its not helpful a lot of the time too 😞
An old adage on the internet is, “don’t wrestle with pigs, you just get muddy”. Same with Narcs.
“Truth tellers become scapegoats.” Oh man, how true!!
And we don’t care. We aren’t wasting time worrying about others opinions of us. We know who we are.
Imagine a kid has been put under that situation.
@@leannalee4524 I got silent and avoiding. With my first child, I had to leave my shelter. 😀
@@oOIIIMIIIOo Love, peace and joy here, going your way...
@@oOIIIMIIIOo I feel you. That’s pretty much how I felt: confused and lonely, sad. Grown up figuring out why, giving me the strength to build my own life. Sending love ❤️ to you and your child.
My late aunt was definitely an authentic person. I recall an incident when I was a child where she said something noncombative (I don't remember exactly what it was anymore) and one of her cousins said "speak for yourself" in retort. It took me aback, as I did not expect my aunt to be met with such a hostile response, for no apparent reason. You know what my aunt did? She immediately responded in the most calm and kind voice "fair enough" and went about her business. I thought her reaction was so mature and graceful. She was a sweet woman, and there were people around her who were jealous of her blessings--blessings which she deserved. My mother was one such person who was jealous of her.
May Auntie Bonnie rest in peace.
Sorry about your Aunt. Glad you were blessed with the time you did spend with her. Glad she was a source of positive inspiration for you.
Nonsense. No such thing as an authentic person in psychology. And the word narcissist is peddled around by ignoramuses who don't even know what it means
@@ikwikwi fair enough
Sammy, even one authentic person in your life is a blessing. I'm glad your aunt left you such good memories, and an excellent example to follow.
I had an aunt Nila like that, she loved everyone especially children and did the nicest, most memorable things in our lives everyone should have an aunt Bonnie or an aunt Nila! I wish they did!
This powerful and wise woman is literally saving my life.
Growing up with a Narcissistic father and seeking solace in my brother only to realize he to is a narcissist. 35 years later I’m finally free. I’m grateful for you Dr Ramani, it’s finally time to heal and move on.
Man me too 35yrs to understand it was a movie script i was played on
@T M Thank you so much brother! Back at you fam!
I'm sorry I've just had to keep my family at a distance
Hi Jonathan. I have some narcissists around me since I am an empath. What I noticed lately is they are very, very insecure people, way more insecure than the regular person. So you need to start to rely on yourself
Exactly my entire family is I let everyone go!! She is awesome!!!
I am a 25 year old recovering narcissist with parents who deny their narcissism, who have found a relationship with a 28 year old authentic person. Being in this relationship has opened my eyes to who deserves my time and space, and who has made me realize that I can take a different path. I can choose to not step into the footsteps of a narcissistic generation. When you said authentic people are found in elders, i can tell you from my POV, the youth are preceding as authentic, and that to me is incredible. As a person coming from a narcissistic background building myself to change as an authentic person, who chooses to be a better person and make better decisions, not just for other people, but because i want to be a better person. So i want to thank you Dr. Ramani for your personal input. I will look forward to checking out your podcast.
A couple of years ago I had the interesting experience of having a malignant narc boss replaced by an authentic person boss. The quality of life improvement is off the charts.
Lol. Happy for ya man!🥰
lucky you! god blessed you😇
It's both a gift and a curse to be able to spot Narcissists so quickly and easily. Props to anyone who has to deal with them on a daily basis. You're a warrior.
Or, just walk away. If possible. I am planning to move north to get away from the narc's sphere of influence. This decision empowered me. Even if I do not move away for good, it helps to think outside the box.
@@malaikavida good for you! Glad you can get away. I meant more for people who have to deal with co-parenting or similar situations.
My neighbour. We share a front patio in a split building. No escape.
You don't spot them they show that out from themselves!
Well said in that it’s both a gift and a curse.
I've learned in my experiences that part of learning how to be authentic in the face of narcissism is learning how to be authentic in the face of your own narcissistic tendencies.
That’s one of the greatest things a person can face.
is that not a contradiction in terms?
@@Richard_L_Y everyone has the capability to be narcissistic to a extent. It’s about facing that and controlling one’s self no matter how much hurt we feel.
@@Richard_L_Y facing one’s own occasional selfishness is an expression of self-awareness and the exact opposite of narcissism. All of us are capable of callousness on occasion, especially if we’re under a lot of stress for reasons that seem out of our own control, but the authentic person backs up and says “oh wow I’m being selfish” and makes amends and changes.
I dont understand? You mean authenticity in the egocentric perspective
Out of ALL of the many, many videos I have watched in my attempts to heal from narcissist abuse, THIS was the video that I needed the most.
Authenticity = Freedom. ✨
Thank you, thank you, thank you! 🙏
I believe the same way; this video put the icing on the cake for me and provided the missing piece of a god-awful puzzle I've been trying to put together for over 60 years. Move over narcissistic family...authenticity coming through!
@@estherann7407 Love that! ❤️
I am authentic. I never realized that others weren’t. Until my (ex) husband’s double life was exposed, I had no idea of how authentic I was and how inauthentic he and others are. People seem to be drawn to me because of authenticity. Even better, I have found my tribe of authentic people.
That's great! My resolution for 2021 is to embrace my authentic self so that I can have an authentic tribe just like you. Do you have any tips for me?
Youre not authentic.
Youre foolish and naive thats not a virtue you are just silly.
The fact that you didnt see your husbands 'double life' is pretty much an indicator of that.
@@ThunderAppeal Authentic people can still be misled, ThunderAppeal. Authentic people are not mind readers. But authentic people don't become controlled by a narcissist. That's the difference.
Or a narcissist. Im authentic everyone else around me is not... ;)
When you are an honest, open, forthright person, it can be easy to (incorrectly) assume that others are, as well. It's quite an awakening to discover just how unbelievably naive you've been when you do finally seek out this information and study these character-disordered people for years.
I was entirely CLUELESS there was such a large population of individuals, globally, who are so disordered that they have some kind of characterological disorder.
Now I understand why people behave they way they behave, and nothing....literally nothing....that I see truly surprises me anymore.
You are very fortunate to have found people who you believe are your tribe of authentics like yourself. I still haven't found those people.
Being a authentic person is a process. Nobody is born this way. Mindfulness helps.
I see it the other way round. We are born authetical, but along the way we are forced to learn tricks and to be false in order to cope with sadness and nasty people (whatever label you like to put on them).
@@herrbonk3635 Exactly - babies are inherently authentic - they don't know how to be any other way.
We are all born authentic i believe. We are at our most authenticity when we were a child but as we grow up we start to have big egos which is something we have to get rid of or at least learn to balance.
Everyone is born authentic
@@arrow1042 authentic birth would mean we r only genetics. Everything else is learned and Cultivated. We r not animals with a biological compass, we need to learn every thought and behavior
Authenticity is typically hard earned but such a blissful place to be.
Couldn’t agree more
“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths,” wrote Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. “These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”
.
Can confirm.
I feel blessed to be living authentically at 42 with peace in my heart and soul in alignment with who I am and my purpose. Trust me. When your peace and authenticity have been so hard won, you understand the importance of protecting it. But you also understand other people who haven’t quite gotten there yet.
I find that Real people that are true to them selves are as rare as gold.
Good luck finding someone real in a world of lies. And nothing is real.
I’m one of those real people, you speak of.
Thank you, I will now think of myself as a golden nugget 😄
I must be Gold! I lived with a narcissist for 7 days and I just had to pack my car and go! Just trusting that spirit has something better for me. This man wanted all my time energy and money! Bye 👋
@@rainephachoumphone9175 you attract what you are! There are many many real and good people you have to stop judging every person and situation, do not give it your energy, then you truly will manifest what you want! Look at it all as a lesson, everything happening for you! The universe doesn't make mistakes! Everyone and everything is you pushed out!
The authentic person likes themself, is confident, self-ssured, wise, genuine, yet kind and/or neutral when dealing with toxic people. They have very healthy boundaries and are not duped by deceivers. Like a protective shield.
Facts!
That’s a very good way of putting it.
@@jamessmyth3952 I completely agree.
Thanks for sharing that! Truly. I'll keep it in mind.
I feel best when I sense it within & around myself as an rich calming power emanating from within me, and it just so happens to repel. The “shield” concept felt like a protector from outside of myself. This self-emanating essence feels always present, always effective, if I focus on it. The best advice, the most effective advice that I have acted on as an empath… Was “focus on your separateness.” My whole world changed. Focus on your separateness. It’s the opposite of what we normally hear. Empaths don’t need to focus on connection; that happens automatically. We have to focus on separateness and feel what separateness feels like. Then we were able to feel our authenticity; And it feels so good!
It’s really wild thinking about the abuse my mother put me through, and from a very young age, I was highly perceptive, and I literally would look her in the eyes and tell her “Don’t talk to me like that, it’s not okay”, or I would have these long conversation trying to show her that there’s more than one way to do things, and it might look different, but it was acceptable. She couldn’t stand me because I stood up for myself and my siblings no matter what, and I would call out in as calm, well rounded, and respectful a manner as possible the ways she was mistreating me. And, of course; as I got older, she couldn’t stand it, so she gaslit me to hell and broke me down, not unlike how the military breaks people down and remolds them during boot camp, etc. It’s taken 7 years to find myself again. But I feel Fucking alive and I’m so fucking thankful every day for that younger me who chose this current version of me over everything else.
Same here. I’m starting to think I was authentic all along but then got traumatized and couldn’t see my authenticity very clearly anymore. Now that I’ve shut every single toxic person out of my life I’m rediscovering my authenticity. The truth is a beautiful thing. It’s the stuff poems are made of. ☺️🌟
Yes!! I needed to read this, thank you!
very touching to read! strong you, congratulate for keeping up being in alignment with who you are.
Good for you for keeping on, woman! Be YOU!
Girl I've been to boot camp, plus 5 years in...SO MUCH NARCISSISM.
"If you are humble nothing will touch you, neither praise nor disgrace, because you know what you are."
~ Mother Teresa
"Mother" Teresa was a cruel, sick twisted *narcissist* who exploited the poorest of people. She did nothing to help them as she told them suffering made them closer to God.
Mother teresa is not a gd person
I feel authenticity comes when you have that full and deep acceptance of yourself
I absolutely agree 1000%! 😊
the whole "this is the way i am, im not trying to hide it, if people dont like it thats their problem not mine," while recognising actual short comings of course
I see authenticity as the end result of emotional growth. It is being a fully emotionally mature adult.
Narcissism is a form of emotional immaturity/maldevelopement.
The ones who can't grow are the ones who never learnt to separate their own self from that of their primary caregiver(s), something that normally happens at around age 4. That's why they either treat others as objects or as an extension of themselves to reward or punish as they please.
I think it pisses the narcissist off when their efforts don't affect us
The best revenge
Indifference. Any attention is better than none to narcissists - good or bad, as long as they are center stage. The squeaky wheel gets the most oil. That's why walking works - feet don't have wheels 😁
I returned an unopened Christmas hoover and now he's in the rage stage. Like a spoiled toddler. I authentically laugh because I took back the power I gave him.
@@true3980 🤣 I've gone a step further. I don't return the gifts or acknowledge they've sent them. Maintain 100% radio silence. I give them to someone random who really appreciates it. So far, a tablet & gucci perfume has gone to a very happy teenage neighbour 😂😆🤣
@@sixthsenseamelia4695 I'll be your neighbor. 🥰
Always step away! My late husband used to say “I want them in my heart, but not in my life” when he referred to the family members that he chose to step away from and have little contact with. Toxic narcissistic people will find a way to disturb your peace. Walk away and take control of your inner power.
Your beauty radiates like the sun Micha.
That is the most balanced and loving way of describing the situation I have ever heard. Thank you for sharing your late husbands wise words.
Was it his parents? I am having some guilt and troubled feelings around the mothers day/father day time.
Good quote
Thank you, Dr. Ramani❤
Authenticity is really about self-mastery; knowing who you are, knowing your values and doing EVERYTHING in alignment with those set values and your true self!
My husband with a lot of ASD characteristics is like this and deeply authentic. Watching him interact with a narcissist in our family is so interesting. He is never rude or disrespectful but all the attempts to manipulate and even love bomb my husband do not work which makes the narcissist visibly uncomfortable
Its amazing isn't it! I had narcs all my life and learning to deal with my trauma and to now having to be contempt with myself its so easy to identify a narc and throw them off their shits and then why they try to make everyone hate me they end up exposing themselves because when people know your true authenticity not everyone can make up rumors about you because your real and everyones know your heart! The same can't be said about narcs 😂
I am ASD and my narcissistic (aspd) estranged husband would try to manipulate and emotionally abuse me, and I just absolutely annihilated him with pure logic every time, he couldn’t stand it😂😄
Same
My little daughter is also on the spectrum of ASD. She's very authentic, and only shows affection to some people. She has a level of awareness that's very clear to me and my wife. When we go out with our daughter, she will very quickly identify someone she doesn't like. I know by her display of discomfort and facial expression.
@@vitormonteiro7313 people on the spectrum truly are the most authentic humans you can meet and good judges of character. Charisma doesn’t work for them and they can see right through it into genuine intentions. It’s very cool and I aspire to be more like that!!!
Authentic people use gentle parenting techniques with narcissists 😂😂
Like?
changing topics, smiling and laughing at their criticism in a calmly manner, literally taking their word as it came from a child in the body of an adult..
@@cicin9313 I would go even further and say: being lovingly and compassionately reactive to behaivour that is specifically designed to usually gain dismissive reactions in order to justifiy a victimisation of oneself. Non-reactive might just provoke another attempt. Contrary reaction might convince to stop.
That's probably so true because narcissism usually comes from a dark place in one's childhood that lacked any parenting let alone a gentle one...
Omg how true is this?
I think it’s important for a narcissist to be around authentic people. I’ve had a friend in high school, she wasn’t rich, wasn’t extremely smart, but she has this “quiet confidence” that she really doesn’t bother when someone is better than her, something a narcissist can’t handle. Growing up with narcissistic mother, I always wonder how this friend of mine is extremely comfortable with herself. Then I met her family, and got all the answers lol. She grew up with such a genuine and kind family, which is probably the reason why she had a sense of self-security in such a young age.
Thanks for sharing. That was great. Take care and God bless
It also happens when people grew up with narcs, they experience trauma and if they work in themselves they realise they can only control how they react not what others say or do so they just focus on themselves and preserving g their peace
I had the same experience, grew up with a complete narc family.My best friend family I just loved because they were loving and they were confident etc Kids just excelled in school
@@alonzomosley7 sometimes we get early examples of what not to do / to become . Hope you’re emotionally protected from them now x
Hoping I'm doing the same for my kids!
Authenticity requires a great deal of mastering peace within oneself. This allows one to remain true to one self. Meaning you don't feel compelled to hide your true self. This level of peace and confidence rocks a narcissist to their core.
Being around a healthy, authentic person is liberating bc it allows you to fully be yourself and not have to cater to the narc's fragile emotions.
Word on the street is authenticpeople like hearing this.
To add to your comment they also inspire and cause you to have a drive within yourself. They are a blessing to everyone around them wise enough to appreciate them.
That's a luxury not everyone has now. Some people are dealing with whole systems processing them.
The poor the elderly and disabled the economically weak and young but emotionally wise that got through with health and mental health in tact.
A lady in a uniform assigned to their address, could be a personality or a helper. It's a casino out there now.
Mental health advice needs to be given to people to deal with npd you negotiate from orderlies, and officers, people you literally cannot walk away from.
Think "one flew over the cookoos nest"
Tell people how to negotiate that sort of situation doc. Before the day comes you can't
@@Beth-iv4ljThere is always a time and a place. Only an idiot thinks all lives situations are black and white. You can always be true to yourself though and being poor or suffering from mental health problems doesn't stop that. It's like you can't always speak your mind unless you want sacking if you are at work. Knowing what's appropriate helps to but some people haven't got a clue about that.
@@charlottelouise209 the people assigned to the poor to process them in various ways after the corona virus had real mental health issues. Difficult people But social status.
Nobody could say anything a long time. I think they had a clue
I wouldn't say I'm "authentic" or unbotherable, but sometimes I'm pretty good at just ignoring people and making it super awkward to be mean to me.
if you do that long enough, you'll gain a personality disorder..do that to cope for now..but work towards, being authentic, developing integrity, and (healthy) detachment from this world (including people).
@TJTJ, how do you make it awkward for people to be mean to you?
@@holly3503 I feel like I do something along this. You just point out their “attacks” and say them out loud, and logically show them how weird they are being.
@@kindacoolanimation I don't think this is unhealthy. If anything, I don't think we gave enough information to determine what exactly he's doing. From the sounds of it, it seems like he's denying them their gratification for being rude.
I notice denying these kind of people their satisfaction will tend to do that especially if it's aimed at making a public spectacle to make themselves look good.
The only time using their own shame against them or making it obvious to the public doesn't work is if they are already dead-set on landing some kind of hit against you where they don't care about the fallout it causes.
Whatever sideways dance they do to rationalizing their actions might make them look bad.
Narcs tend to be emboldened to do this more online because they can cover their tracks. Rarely have I met any narcissist who does this in person.
That said, I do have a friend who has always been a bit like this. But after 20 years it's obvious his self grandiosity hasn't materialized any great life for himself. He needs me more than I need him. I'm sure he'll view it as some sort of betrayal when this apartment complex is finally either too expensive or gets condemned and I move out of this town instead of staying here next door. I got enough of my own issues to deal with.
Authentic people do get "bothered" by the narcissist, but their authenticity allows them to get over it in a heart beat. It's like swatting a fly away.
This authentic person has done medical research and discovered that her x-boyfriend had all the symptoms of a Narcissist and Asperger's, however the CAUSE is not intentional. These behaviors develop due to having to deal with the toxins being produced in their system. Parasites/Worms and other Amoebic parasites are rampant in these people. They live in a brain fog and their behaviors are developed to cover up their incorrectly diagnosed internal parasites. Parasites emit 5 toxins. Formaldehyde, Amphetamines, Histamines, Ammonia and Morphine. Any Authentic person getting a daily dose of these chemicals will ultimately develop some defensive behaviors. If you really want to CURE your clients then deworm them first and then help them control their parasites while helping them deal with the transition. Many like my x have lived with parasites their whole life and never knew it. My x had his appendix removed as a child(more than likely filled with worms) and had physical development /growth problems. All affected by these toxins in his system. The Main Stream Medical Community does NOT test for parasites. Some parasites live in the lymph system and not the GI tract. How these parasites get in they lymph system is still a mystery. For more information on this please watch The Universal Antidote Documentary on Rumble dot com. Here is the link rumble.com/vdey7t-the-universal-antidote.html
@@marilynteed This is an interesting angle... Not sure we would know what we're supposed to do with this "information."
If the narc is your mom or dad, then it's not that easy.
I mean when you take a step back and see the absurdity of it all, it's hard to take it to heart and give a shit. Though, it's always sad to see people being lied to, become disconnected from reality, and damage their relationships JUST for their ego.
@@marilynteed lolllllllll
I became “Aware, Authentic” after I finally learned to heal and love myself.
After being in a narcissist, emotionally abusive relationship for decades a huge lightbulb went off! And I found the missing piece to the puzzle! I could see things/him so clearly. I was so dissociated , depressed, unhealthy throughout all the years. Very hard. But now I can see my healthy future. 💪🏻🙏🏻🧘🏻♀️❤
"The more authentic you become, the more resistant you will be to Narcissists.....they'll definitely speak bad about you behind your back, but if you're authentic enough, you won't care!"
💞
And weak-minded people will believe their BS instead of coming to their own conclusions about you.
@@MsZephyra I have a Narc mom. And what you both say is true.
I was recently struggling to decide if I should go to a family event, knowing it was a trap set by the N, because if I didn't I would be crucified behind my back for not going. Then I realized, they are surely talking horribly about me anyway, so why walk into their trap to "prevent" them from having more fodder? Plus, if they needed more fodder, they would just make it up anyway.
It's almost like a really cool superpower, sometimes when I am going about my job people will make cold, mean remarks towards me and it doesn't bother me anymore.. I know my worth and that I am special, authentic and a good person
Truly authentic people have zero Fs to give for other people's BS.
In contrast, authentic people are more kind-hearted than to walk around with a chip, that says, "I give zero Fs (sic)" on their shoulders. An authentic person doesn't get "triggered."
@@tammyhollis1519 - no one gets "triggered." That word has a specific meaning pertaining to PTSD. A mental health crisis is triggered by an event which brings up a memory.
Yes, authentic people can get upset over things. That is part of being authentic.
@@kdphotos4691 I agree the word is used in association with ptsd; I have ptsd. However, the word is not strictly assigned to ptsd.
This authentic person has done medical research and discovered that her x-boyfriend had all the symptoms of a Narcissist and Asperger's, however the CAUSE is not intentional. These behaviors develop due to having to deal with the toxins being produced in their system. Parasites/Worms and other Amoebic parasites are rampant in these people. They live in a brain fog and their behaviors are developed to cover up their incorrectly diagnosed internal parasites. Parasites emit 5 toxins. Formaldehyde, Amphetamines, Histamines, Ammonia and Morphine. Any Authentic person getting a daily dose of these chemicals will ultimately develop some defensive behaviors. If you really want to CURE your clients then deworm them first and then help them control their parasites while helping them deal with the transition. Many like my x have lived with parasites their whole life and never knew it. My x had his appendix removed as a child(more than likely filled with worms) and had physical development /growth problems. All affected by these toxins in his system. The Main Stream Medical Community does NOT test for parasites. Some parasites live in the lymph system and not the GI tract. How these parasites get in they lymph system is still a mystery. For more information on this please watch The Universal Antidote Documentary on Rumble dot com. Here is the link rumble.com/vdey7t-the-universal-antidote.html
@@kdphotos4691 No one?
Funny! Cause, they sure do get triggered, at sooooo much, it's not funny. Too easily too... wow ...
Sounds like people who are spiritually and emotionally mature
Absolutely!
Homeopathically too.
You got it!!!
Yes
Yes, Amen ...
I feel like authenticity is the ultimate goal in life. I don’t think anyone is born this way, you either become super in tune with yourself and grow into your authentic self. However to be authentic you must possess emotional intelligence, which for myself is something I have gained through life experiences. I feel like narcissistic relationships bring out your authenticity when you finally start to heal. You reflect and in hindsight realize just how different you would respond to many situations now. The wisdom gained through life shapes you becoming more and more authentic each day.
Very well put. It’s true that with age most of us healthy thinkers move toward authenticity.
I kinda agree but then not really because I think children are generally authentic, even their tantrums are an authentic expression of what they feel (so I guess, I would disagree with Dr. Ramani's definition...she probably more means 'individuated' or as close to that as one can humanly be, which children aren't in a conscious sense. This is a semantic issue so kind of irrelevant I guess). Trauma changes them, some will become narcissists, others wounded but can heal later if they do the work and become authentic again but in a grown up way, with a pattern of emotional regulation and not reacting on 'cue' due to triggers. That's what I aim for myself.
As Socrates said, the unexamined life is not worth living.
Be yourself. Everyone else is taken. - OscarWilde
That's a good one.
i don't really get blown away by quotes often, but woah, that's a really good one, and a simple quote to remember at that. thank you for sharing.
"Know thy self"
--Oracle of delphi.
@@Uriel-Septim.
“To be is to do”-Socrates.
“To do is to be”-Jean-Paul Sartre.
“Do be do be do” -- Frank Sinatra
Authentic in my opinion is a person who is honest about what they feel, and think. Regardless of their positive, or negative personalities.
Narcissists are often open about their feelings.
Well, this is what narcissists are, but to a negative degree. Authentic people are honest about their feelings but they don’t do things with an ulterior motive. They don’t try to undermine a person’s abilities for the attention or sense of self-grandeur it’ll get them or disingenuously try to flatter someone in an attempt to try and manipulate them later.
Authentic is not the opposite of narcissistic. You can be authentic but narcissistic so even if you are narcissistic you can say that you have narcissistic trait without sugarcoat it (some of them often become comedian). But there is authentic but also kind person who is one of the best person you could ever met. There is a authentic and bad person too, the character who portray that is Joker. And there's also narcissistic and delusional person who think good about themselves but actually the opposite or you could say a hypocrite.
@@peppermintgal4302 I think better description of authentic people if thier consider the oposit eof narcissists is that they a re self aware and open to criticism
Thank you
It sounds like authenticity can be one of those unexpected rewards for all the hard work it takes to heal from our trauma. You probably wouldn't even be aware of it in yourself. It probably pairs itself with humility. :)
Spot on
Exactly.
Yes. I can't imagine authentic people going around saying, I am AUTHENTIC! But it does help the healing process to acknowledge this beautiful quality in one's self. The narc, on the other hand - he would go around saying, I am the Guru. SMH.
It takes a lot to unravel stuff, being able to be vulnerable and be rewarded with other people's vulnerability in turn is a pretty great. Finding community is so important for healing but trauma is often a direct barrier.
If you're struggling, I hope you find people to do the work with you 💜
This authentic person has done medical research and discovered that her x-boyfriend had all the symptoms of a Narcissist and Asperger's, however the CAUSE is not intentional. These behaviors develop due to having to deal with the toxins being produced in their system. Parasites/Worms and other Amoebic parasites are rampant in these people. They live in a brain fog and their behaviors are developed to cover up their incorrectly diagnosed internal parasites. Parasites emit 5 toxins. Formaldehyde, Amphetamines, Histamines, Ammonia and Morphine. Any Authentic person getting a daily dose of these chemicals will ultimately develop some defensive behaviors. If you really want to CURE your clients then deworm them first and then help them control their parasites while helping them deal with the transition. Many like my x have lived with parasites their whole life and never knew it. My x had his appendix removed as a child(more than likely filled with worms) and had physical development /growth problems. All affected by these toxins in his system. The Main Stream Medical Community does NOT test for parasites. Some parasites live in the lymph system and not the GI tract. How these parasites get in they lymph system is still a mystery. For more information on this please watch The Universal Antidote Documentary on Rumble dot com. Here is the link rumble.com/vdey7t-the-universal-antidote.html
does anyone else just think that dr ramani is such a beautiful soul. every new video im wowed by the aura she exudes. hopefully one day i can radiate just like that
Authentic = words and actions are in alignment. They say what they mean, and they mean what they say. They keep to their morals and practice what they preach. The narc is incapable of authentic. They aren't sure what their moral compass is, what they believe in, what they don't; and say things that are never followed through in action. Their jealousy, internal voices in their head that are vindictive. All of which, interfere with that authenticity. Narcs. cannot accept, handle, or hear the truth about what they are more insecure about. And, I humbly agree, Dr. Ramani, authenticity means not caring what other people say or think about you. But, if confident in one's self, their ability to discern truth from fiction and hold hard in that stance; the authentic person is the ultimate goal to strive for. Fully believing in ourselves, our character, can make us stronger, and perhaps less resistant one will be toward the narc.
Well, said, Sara.
Brilliant comment 🙏🏻
I agree, when actions and words match, that's authenticity. My only pain is that authenticity itself is not a shield or a protective armour. The narcissists in my life feel that I try to be as authentic as possible but they do play their stupid games, smear me or try to cause pain, etc. So unfortunately, authenticity itself is not an effective tool to perform "exorcism" and repel narcissists for good.
When a narcissist ( fool)
is talking. Just walk away
and say nothing. Why
bother to reply to the
words coming out of
their mouth.
What they are speaking
is their ignorant trurh.
About themselves. It's
a lifetime subscription
the narcissist hides
behind their facade mask.
Compass direction 🧭
Comes from the center 💖
Dealing with a narcissist taught me that being open about my life and experience takes the power away from the narcissist. They will try to hold over you the things they think you don't want the world to know but if you're already telling the world they have nothing useful to threaten you. That doesn't mean I overshare with strangers regularly it just means that I own all the parts of who I am good, bad, and ugly, and don't keep it under lock and key. If I am telling the world my truth it cant be used to hurt me. Narcissists hate it because they are always grasping for a way to control you.
Somewhere,You don't need a narc 😈 in your life!!
I definitely do the same thing and it has saved my ass in many social situations. Before I learned about narcissism I just thought it was an annoying trait that some people have. I'm seeing the bigger picture now.
My wife has this ability to see people for who they are fairly quickly. She's a 1%'er when it comes to empathy and sensing what others are about.
What a lovely thing to share about your wife. God bless you both.
How blessed you are have her 💯👌🏾
AwwwWWW! I love your love! thank you so much for sharing, on the right vid
She sounds like a good person to be around, good for you.
INFJ?
OMG, it’s me you were talking about😮 The last years I had to work with narcisstic persons and so I became victim of really bad gossiping. What shocked me was that even good friends took part. I took refuge in early retirement, but they followed me into my private life and many social contacts were destroyed. But, as you said, I rest within myself. I continue to pursue my passions and live my life. The whole thing took 7 years and now I still have one battle to fight: defeating my PTSD
Sending ❤ and blessings ❤
Who else was passive and is now transitioning to be authentic?
Yes! 💪💪💪💪
Started out as golden child, but was mean to others. Then suffered for years from neglect from friends and family. I lost all the spice from golden child years and became passive and observant, putting my feelings down in face of others. Now I'm trying to return to a peaceful, authentic life with an added gratitude and graciousness for others
I'm long done with passive...
But am hopeful I'll continue passing through the "angry at bullies" part to where I can keep my cool in the future...
Instead of delivering the elbow shots that those in my past deserved.
I got monkey in me, there is no passive, except under extreme stress, i submit and let higher self guide. I have strong survivor instinct due to trauma from early childhood on. Some of us get super human abilities cracked open under these types of pressures. medical says such things are disabilities. I choose to look at the up side of life.
@@johngregory4801 they’re smaller people.. the smaller you are the less moral integrity you possess. Bullies are so self absorbed that, they don’t realize how much they’re just taking giant shits wherever they go, if a bully ever actually became cognizant of why they bully people, jeesh. Good luck 🍀
I think this is why my narcassistic boss didn't like me. He just didn't know how to handle me. He knew I played drums and he did to and he would keep trying put down my skills or boost his, but he was mediocre and I had a music degree in jazz performance, toured, recorded albums. I was so confident in my abilities in that regards that he got no reaction from it. He would also bring up random factoids to impress people but had no follow up, and me being genuinely interested in some of these subjects would start up a discussion and then he'd get mad that he couldn't just pretend to have all this knowledge and he stopped doing it in front of me. At first I didn't even get it, a coworker had to explain "it's because when he goes and learns about jellyfish he's doing it to impress people, when you do it it's because you're interested in jellyfish."
Big oof; keep doing your thing, homie! Hopefully that guy reevaluates his behavior.
bruh are we the same human
thats a good way to put it actually 😊😊
Thanks for that. You described and explained the last boss I had in particular but most my work experiences. I didn't get it then, too, but I do now.
You're not authentic and your boss is just insecure.
Love this. I feel like I’ve just arrived at my authentic self. I’m in my 40s and I have learn the art of being unbothered and living true to myself. It is an amazing feeling and era of my life!
Exactly me too 🤩
I'm 50 and just realizing my sister is a narcissist. I was with one for 20 years. So I educated myself to the fullest. Now she is panicking because I'm telling my truth
In my 50's!
Same. I feel so empowered. I was in my late 40’s. I am now 52.
I can’t wait to feel this 🥲
I feel I am moving towards more and more authentic person. My narssatic mother been saying a lot. She doesn’t regnoise me anymore. When she was poking me into low vibrations. Many times I just brushed it off. Of course after a while it did gets to me. But I am very different. I do not play her game or trying to engage when she wants me to fights. I also don’t want to heal or change people anymore. Which used to be my patterns. I am done . I love myself enough to be truthful to myself , so I am honest to the world too. Also not engaged to the low vibration. I have my whole life ahead of me to do others things that build me up. And in bliss and happiness ❤. I simply walk away from things that cause me hurt and pain. I trust my inner guidance and wisdom
Story sounds similar sending luck and prayers
When you can provide for yourself everything you thought you had to get from others, you become Teflon. They can't threaten to withhold something you already have.
Tough as nails! yes! :-)
Aqua,BEAUTIFULLY said!
So true! That's the only way I started to be able to heal, when I didn't need him anymore, I began to get my self back.
@K Lu Give your meds a few months to kick in.
@@bbooher9663 Thanks!
Used to think of Narcissists as 'predators' to be aware of in the everyday urban 'jungle'. But nowadays they seem more analogous to parasites, which prefer to draw their 'nourishment' from living hosts. So while predators are best avoided altogether, parasites aren't always as easy to recognize in our travels. Though they can still be prevented thru effective 'barriers'... whether its protective clothing and a good immune system, or simply maintaining appropriate interpersonal 'boundaries'.
ooh, i love this analogy!
Psychic vampirism exists just ask Hindu swamis. Finally got this phenomena confirmed. Namaste.
Love this analogy! 😂
good comparison
Great analogy.
"Hey yeah! This describes me perfectly! I'm a _super_ authentic pserson!"
*Said all the narcissists, calmly*
I actually found a comment that said "I'm coming to terms that i'm an authentic person.".
As if coming to terms with your authenticity was some kind of negative thing you have to bitterly accept about yourself. :P
Narcissistic humble-brag if i ever saw one. xD
Rightttt🤣🤣🤣🤣
Reminds me of every one on social media who constantly share memes about howbtheir coworkers are stupid. Theyre always conveniently the smart ones lol
My husband does this all the time 🤣😭🥴
@@MyouKyuubi like when people say “my toxic trait is that im too caring”
One unintended consequence of being authentic, is being labeled rude. So, you should be ready to accept that, apart from being truthful.❤👍
right. or an "asshole"
Yea!
That's me!! I see right through the narcissistic games and walk away. No, thank you. I am not allowing toxic personalities in my life.
Anjie White,You are absolutely gorgeous 🌷🌹🌹,you don't need a narc 😈 in your life!!
My dear I am dealing with a roomate who challenges me all the time. He moved in 5 months ago. I told him he need to stop rinsing his mouth inside the kitchen sink and stop washing his hands on the kitchen sink after he does his business in the bathroom I mentioned it 3x. Be either gaslight, become dismissive or may say he won't do it again but keep doing it. It is triggering me some emotions because I am a good person, And can see through him. I feel so disrespect it. I had the Subletter of the premises to talk to him in the meeting he play a victim did not give me I contact made promises stop for a couple days and started doing it again I guess to be annoying confronted him again on a one to one as I am cooking and delivery washed his hands 3x in the kitchen sink after coming from the bathroom as I confronted him and told him I don't like it he said I said it was okay for him to do it. I did not respond. I feel so disrespected and seems I can not do anything. What is your advise please, shall I continue ring the abuse?
@Silver Halo thank you for your suggestion. Nope, he pretty much bath there. The bathroom is big. He just a jerk True Narcisist to the core 🙄 it is what it is. He agrees, apologyse and continue doing it.
Exactly even new clients forget your money 😩🤣
As an authentic person (I’m just over 60), the games of the narcissist don’t faze me at all. You’re right; I can see right through them.
Christine Geary,You are beautiful,you don't need a narcissist in your life......
HAHA yes! Weird isn't it? Like many people who are in lala land just interact with them but once they know you know, they're much darker and it's uncomfortable for both because we both know hahaha
It took me a long time but I am there too. Now just to cut that last thread of contact with my divorce. I’d rather live under a bridge than live with him anymore.
ME too 😌
My mother is over 60 and exactly the same. BUT I’ve seen her be this way forever. She has that odd immunity. So self assured she glides right past and never gets snagged.
As a senior I have found age definitely makes it easier to live authentically.
It certainly does! We’ve learned what/who not to be intimidated by.
@@karinberryman2009 and whats that
Anyone.
YES :)
Not really, I know most people who are very sensitive despite their age.
I have done a lot of self-work and continue to do so. Am in my early 30s and will never get married nor have kids.
I had a traumatic childhood. An old soul. I have so far only attracted 2 people who are narcissists while I was briefly dating them. Brief because I walked away in less than 3 months because their behaviors signified poor boundaries, defensiveness, manipulation, edging, silent-treatment, and etc…
I am an authentic person.
Having a traumatic and stressful childhood myself I can completely relate to why you decided on not getting married and having kids, even I am in my early 30s and as Im getting older my thoughts are quite similar to yours, have a wonderful rest of your life. Cheers!