This is why Dave is great at what he does. He got all the facts, cut through all the BS, and gave the caller REAL advice, and not what the caller was hoping to hear.
This guy sounds like, with or without a wife, and even if he made double the money at $240,000, he'd still run out of money. He just sounds dumb with money either way.
People amaze me, I sit here and listen to these callers living on 120,00-300,00 a yrr, I live on 40,000 with a house payment, car payment, kids, and student loan payments, and I take vacations.
Grueningere I'm the same way. Well, minus the house payment, car payment kids, and I make $50,000. But it's all paid off and I have to say I live a pretty good life and will retire with dignity in 30 years, lol. Probably be a millionaire in 20.
Calgary is cheap, too, and was cheap when he first called in. 🙄 I live in a more expensive place nearby and only need to make $40k to live the lifestyle I want, while still paying debts. Once the debts are paid, I only need $30k.
@@Laoriginal718 Why? In their area the cost of childcare is more expensive than her not working until the child goes to school. The rest of the housing costs and food and taxes are low.
You marry the man you marry the family. If you didn't wanna be part of the family and help than DON'T MARRY HIM. Your mom and brother are nit extended family they are direct family. Lady should get a job thats shameful.
@@autochess2502 No, immediate family is your partner and kids. Everyone else becomes extended family unless you're living under the same roof. You work together to budget what you are comfortable with spending. Kid's needs comes first. Partners needs second. Personal needs third. If you have all that settled and room in the budget to help parents and siblings without making yourself homeless (like they should be able to), then you extend help outside the immediate family.
I have a sneaking suspicion that this is coming from his mother and brother, to him. They are probably the ones telling him how he would be better off if she was working. He is also financially supporting his niece? Her dad died. She is getting survivor benefits as a minor, where is that going? I know it won't cover everything but come on!
He's just housing them. He's not financially supporting them. Also you're choosing to disregard that the wife has debt to her name and she needs to clean that up. It's not the man's responsibility to clear HER debt with HIS paycheck.
@@HurricaneGaming509 Just housing them? What Shane's brother is paying doesn't cover half the mortgage on the house. BTW, not the man's responsibility to support his brother , either.
@@MissAllyjandra Dave didn't listen very well. He pays that 900 twice a month not once. She's comfortable at home she needs to get out and work and figure this out with her husband. Sounds like she's a spender as well.
@@joeb2588 Yes. If the husband doesn't want to be a single provider, it's selfish of the wife to not go back to work. That being said, he should try to get his brother and mother to buy his house from him. Heck, he could just sell it to them for the 200k he has in debt and be done with it.
Ugh. His poor wife. Funny how he throws her under the bus for wanting to stay home with the kids but fails to mention supporting his mom and niece until Dave does some digging.
Punkydoodle how do we know he wants her to take care of the kids and not have some type of baby sister or something instead if her salary wouls be alot more then what they would need to pay
CB313 I take it you dont have kids. Spending time with your small children and giving them a one-to-one upbringing every day is incredibly valuable, and anyone earning 120 should be able to afford that. If he wants to house his mum and niece, they can live with him or he can swap for a cheaper house.
The caller used the phrase "buy into" the house. Actually I'm not sure what that is supposed to mean. I suspect that's why Dave said brother needs to go get a mortgage and buy it.
@@HurricaneGaming509 what is the debt on cause he never says exactly. He wants to cancel the home phone and cable which is nuts if you make 120,000. One it's not going to pay off 200,000 in debt in any reasonable time frame. 2 the money that is being spent on owning a second home would pretty dang quickly clean up the debt. He says she over spend but she also stays home is she buying food, clothes for the family, ECT. I am sahm I do all the shopping my husband hasn't bought groceries in 5 years. If he wanted to he could say I spend wildly because I am in charge or pretty much every purchase insurance, food, clothes everything gets done by me because I am home when most companies are open. Also if your not shopping you pretty quickly forget what a normal price is my hubby went shopping for Valentine's day and just about fell over at the price of flowers and chocolate ( of course they are up for Valentine's day) but he still had no idea what a normal price was because he doesn't do it regularly. Why Dave tells people to budget is because most people if they aren't watching have no idea how much is reasonable to run a house hold. Maybe she is a crazy spender and maybe she puts groceries on the credit card and just expects that since they make 120000 they should be able to pay it off each month no problem.
@@nhgriff1 so wouldn't i. Lazy wife doesn't want to help her husband. Did you hear him say, she spends like she's working? Dave missed that. He also missed "900 2 times a month. Not monthly." It's time for team work.
"your supporting the rest of your family and you want your wife to go back to work to do that , that's what she hears and that's what i'm hearing" , that kind of says it all, and Dave was really smart to pick up on that.
@@rayn1ful couple reasons. If you want to look at it correctly it's her family as well. After you are married you are one. Otherwise the guy would just say it's my money I'll spend it as I please. So then if he quits she would have to go to work to support "her" family lol.
Yesss!!! Extended family! I love how he set this guy right. Some men think helping their mother and family of origin is more important than being a teammate with their partner and putting their children as the highest priority 😬
Most people I've heard on here earn more money than the average American. The tendency I see is that the more one makes the more one spends. It's a blessing to learn from others mistakes. I hope they all find their way out.
Orlando Rivas Its true. The funny part is many don't have more than anyone else. Its a house a car, maybe a property etc. The house may be bigger and the car may be a sport car but really most don't have that much more. A 4000 square foot house isn't any better than a 1500 square foot house. Its all about appearance for most people.
@@NoName-sp5dp I used to say the same and assume 50K is rich and more than enough to raise 2 kids .... in my 20s before being married :-D. You never know unless you walk in other people's shoes and 120K is not alot if you consider he is paying for 3 expenses houses and has to feed 2 kids and have a 50% tax in Canada. Candian taxes are much higher than American on high income earners. The only saving grace is they don't have to pay out health insurance each month. My mom had to work and I survived fine. She took me to work and she got a 2nd job once I turned 7 to help pay the bills.
It annoys the heck out of me when people call for Dave's help and he has to prod them to tell the whole story behind their financial troubles. This guy wanted to vilify his wife for not wanting to go back to work, yet Dave had to pull out o f him the fact that he makes 120K and owns a second house. What a tool. I do enjoy hearing the issues that people call in with and the solutions offered up. However, I can't take the hemming and hawing because they don't want to tell the full story or want to go on and on about how great their kids are. My advice to callers: Get to the point, get your answer and move along.
I bet you would be whistling a different tune if the sexes were reversed if he didn't work and refused to get a job when she was struggling paying for 2 houses.
@@loisavci3382 of course while he advises her to leave the deadbeat husband lol. Call my cynical but I think both spouses should always work in 2019 as rent and mortgages and health insurance have skyrocketed so fast over inflation unless the hubby is a CEO or company owner. I get so mad reading responses for entitled wives thinking it's the same world as the 1960s. Math doesn't add for 2 $60,000 cars, $10,000 a year for kids clothes, $15,000 a year for food, $350,000 home, college funds for $1,000,000 per child, and $1,500,000 for retirement, family time, and lots of vacation from just one salary so she can watch TV. Rediculous
@@CassidyStarke you clearly don't live in canada, i do. school is not free in canada ! even public schools you pay fees so don't know where you got that idea. also NO workplace does not pay for kindergarden, daycare even is not free. the caller is from alberta and he said they have a 2 and a half year old. if she went back to work licensed daycare costs range from $950 - $1,200/month in alberta..
That actually pays off. Theres a difference in kids who have a mother at home. My son is 28. Hes about to turn his first 100k. Almost everyone he knows is lost. There are so many profitable ways to run a household. Moms..STAY AT HOME WITH YOUR KIDS. It pays off.
@@ConstantCompanion 100% agree. People need constant attention during the first five years of their life for a reason. It's worth far more than money to have a parent around to give them that attention. Oh, and it also works out that couples who have a stay at home mom end up doing much better financially anyway: -You can move for big promotions. This is almost impossible to do with two people working. -Men tend to work much harder when they have a wife and kids to support. Harder work usually equals more income. -You avoid daycare costs. -It alleviates the stress. The man doesn't have worry about the people who are watching his kids and he knows that his house is being taken care of. -The women knows that her children are being properly cared for and she doesn't have to deal with the competitive stress of the workplace. She instead gets to spend her time with the most important people in her life. -The children get the attention of the people that they rely upon for survival and sustenance and with that comes comfort and confidence.
@@ConstantCompanion yes it's for the best I work from home when I can off and on to help out I don't want to really commute back and forth to work anymore + we have Special needs children
I hear the husband saying "my house" "my money". He called in like his wife is the problem--- when actually HE is! Didn't you all hear how long it took him to admit the BIGGEST problem, that freaking $300k house and supporting his family? He's obviously married to his family, not his wife! This guy needs his balls back. Like right now.
Honestly, if he’s making 120k, there’s no reason she shouldn’t stay home - depending on her potential income, the child care costs might make that cost prohibitive anyway.
I make 80k and my wife stays home, would be EAAAASY on 120k. And we haven't even really lived on a budget, we just do what we want...although she's bad with money and I need to curb her on that. Before I got married I was just banking money like crazy every month, I just forced her to start on the everydollar app so she finally will see that "this was only $8 at Target!" adds up to a shitload after a while. I have 1 payment left on my car, and 6 months left on hers, then her $6000 student loan and we are debt free with 20% equity in our house. Gonna get the budget in order and pay this house off so we can start living easy!
@@penguin12902 good on you Penguin. Some people don't realize the value of having a parent raise your kids vs some minimum wage employee. Me and my husband both work, half my salary goes to child care and all I get is a child full off bad habits from daycare. (And I'm a nurse and she always gets almost depressed when I'm gone 12 hours a day 3-4 times a week).
@@jessicaolson490 So true. Daycare & work associated expenses can eat up a paycheck in nothing flat! As a nurse you make a decent wage, just imagine the size dent daycare can put in a low income worker's paycheck! Also, my 4yo granddaughter is in part time daycare & it seems like every other week she's brought home some cootie that was going around & has to go to the doctor. That causes lost income & medical bills to bite the paycheck even further. Many people forget to include ALL the costs into the decision of if mom should work or not. Daycare, lost work & doctor bills due to ill children, her work wardrobe, work lunches, additional car expenses & repairs, more take out meals, etc. It's often more cost effective for mom to stay at home while the kids are little.
Doesn’t “want” to work?! Have you ever tried watching a 2 year old? Unless the wife is making a lot of money, it might not make sense for her to work Have you priced day care lately?
+James Bond she probably is already paying child support, but it can be a very small amount I don't know how the system works in the US, but in the UK you can only be paying very little to your ex partner, it all depends on how much you earn. If you're unemployed it's £5/week, which wouldn't even cover the child's food.
I was thinking the same thing. If he is that "gongho" about taking care of mom and niece, why not everyone live in one house. There are some other issues here. Sounds like he must not truly love his wife if he thinks its okay to support 3 other people not living in his immediate home more than the 3 he should be more obligated to. He is seriously confused or just looking for a road to start his way out of the relationship.
@@Feber2001 wow. Funny how none of it is her fault. She needs to get back to work and figure this out with her husband. It's the 1st time I heard Dave miss half the story. He pays that 900 2x a month not once, she spends, like himself......
I really hate when men blame the woman for the financial problem like this. DAMN 120,000 and they are broke??? From the way he is speaking he doesn't want to admit he is the problem. Cable and buying groceries and household items didn't put them in debt. His stupid decisions did!
I would rather my wife stay at home with the kid than her work so we can pay for my brother and mother's living expenses and STILL have that much debt. Don't make her work extra (being a mom IS work) so that bro and mom don't have to.
brother and mother's living expenses? no way, not me, they're on their own. That guy was wrong for helping with his brother's expenses. For me it's about wife and kid(s), no one else. I don't even want to deal with parents/sibllings/in-laws/extended family
laurel jade To support her husband's sponging relatives? I don't think so. Besides, if she only gets a part-time job Shane will next be complaining about how it isn't full-time.
I'm the main provider in my family I make 4x what my husband does. if we were to have children he would stay home instead of paying for childcare which I'm ok with. what I would not be ok with is enabling either of our families. I have helped his sister and my sister out a bit but not to that extent nor would I that's when you just start getting taken advantage of
Jacqueline, I think he's lying about that because he just doesn't want to have to tell his side of the family to get their acts together. Fact is 120K a year is a far far more than enough to raise a family of 4. If he can't get her to stop spending, that may be A problem, but the BIG problem here is this guy is paying for an extra house, and another whole household to live in it. At the very least he could move them into his house. Sure it would be uncomfortable, but let me tell you; nothing gets people motivated to get their act together like discomfort.
Jacqueline Salyer doubt it he sounds like someone who doesn’t wanna own up dude said “I probably contributed” the only reason why he took the cable away is so she could be bored and work lol
The caller was talking a lot at first, giving lots of details about his wife, but when Dave brought up the rest of the family living off of them in a separate house he got really quiet.
I'm begging my wife to quit her job, we work different shifts and I want to spend more time with her. Be a man, you married her, so take care of her period!
I hate to say this, but the caller needs to be a man and understand the benefit of his wife staying home - he needs to take care of his family NOT his extended family....sorry, that is what I see...
Its not the 1950s , men dont want housewifes anymore ... I understand that shes home taking care of the kids but she needs to help and go back to work !
MrJiffy....actually, nothing wrong with the 1950s and raising your own kid(s), a stay-at-home mom can be of better value at home. The problem is not there but actually his family needs to stop taking advantage of him knowing that he has his own wife/kid to take care of now. I cant blame her for not wanting to go back to work, she would be paying/enabling his family even more!
I think Dave missed how stay at home mom with a two year old is a job and it saves them money. I think that would’ve made his answer so much more strong, as the man clearly is not appreciating what she’s doing at home or doesn’t know what she does to keep them afloat.
Regardless of his perspective on stay at home moms, what Dave is saying is that if she DID work, that money would be going to his brother, mother, etc. If I was being asked to work more hours at work so that we could by for my mother in law or her brother, I wouldn't want to do that work. I'd want that extra work to help out myself and my wife and my kid. He doesn't have to be harsh to his family. Selling a house takes a long time, plenty of time for them to figure out where else to live besides a home that isn't theirs.
That's not true at all. The money would go towards her debt, which the husband clearly says she has. It would also go towards helping out around the house. That way the husband can take care of his siblings as well.
Hurricane Gaming their debt which he clearly said , he contributed to, also a part of that is second house that no one in her family lives . A 2 year old needs around clock care we are talking 500-800 a week ... the 7 year would needs someone to pick him up and drop him off about another 150 a week . Unless she is looking to make another 120 it doesn’t make sense .... also what’s with all the ppl thinking that staying home with two kids is not work ???
@@HurricaneGaming509 The husband shouldn't be taking care of his mom, niece, and brother. That's on his mom and brother to do. That's the real point. He doesn't need to be wiping their butts, they are adult enough to take responsibility for themselves. Plus, the debt isn't "her" it's THEIR debt. They made it together (he admitted that) and they are married. Married people are a unit that pulls together. This is on him just as much as it's on her. They both are putting their money where it doesn't belong, and now their monetary mismanagement is coming home to roost.
Unless you are underwater on your primary residence, sell it too. You are living way beyond your means. One should strive to be quietly wealthy, not loudly poor. And, lets be real, you are POOR!
Jeremey Allen a $900 house payment with a $120K is not living beyond your means - Dave even said it wasn't the problem. All their other spending is the issue...
He did not say 900 a month, he said 900 every two weeks, way to much house for them with that kind of debt. Sell both houses or make the brother buy him out of the shared property. She doesn't have to work, 120 is MORE than enough for them if they were smart about it.
People these days...If a woman "should" go to work, then a man "should" cook his own dinner, pack his own lunch, properly clean the house, wash the clothes, change the diapers, help kids with homework, change the linens, attend parent-teacher conferences alone (like many women do), and rub his own feet. The list goes on and on. Don't expect to be pampered, waited on hand and foot and spoiled if it bothers you to do the same for her. Otherwise all the chores and childcare need to split up, too.
Good for them. Many men say they'll do that but they don't. They want to split the financial responsibility, but everything else is primarily on the woman. Hence women calling themselves "super woman" because they "do it all", but the man is only responsible for his share of the finances. Like I said, if he doesn't want to spoil his wife in that way, everything should be split, so you actually agreed with me lol. If what I said doesn't apply to you, then I wasn't talking to you. Adios.
***** I think you need to read again. My original post was about women being housewives if they want (and can), and those men who say women "should" work by default should be up to splitting everything else too. I think it's messed up to expect modern in one way, but then traditional in every other way, unless both have agreed on that. You gave your story about men who obviously don't fit what I'm talking about, so I addressed it. I don't know how else to explain that to you, so I'm just gonna be out and continue listening to kpop and watching mukbangs. Toodles.
Grand Champ No she is just saying it's easy for guys to say she should work but working and running a household is not easy. If they both want to work and share some of the household responsibilities then it will be less of a burden
She doesn't want to work?? He makes over $120,000.00 a year! She does work, butthead! She is raising the kids and taking care of you. Sell the second house! The guy wants his wife to help support HIS family. He lets them live there for very little, AND HE ADMITS HE HELPS THEM FINANCIALLY! This guy needs to take care of his OWN little family.
She isn't taking care of him.He is taking care of her. She does need to get a job. What if he gets fire or something. This is the 21th century. He is probably taking care of the kids as well.
if I made $120,000 a year, I'd buy the cheapest house I can find in my area and I'd be debt free in a year. Boy that is good living! I'd have no excuse to be in debt. I could have $10 million or more and I'd still work and I'd live on around $20,000 a year. I'm frugal.
I'm glad Dave asked enough questions to figure out what the real problem was - the caller has a good heart in wanting to help his extended family out financially but like Dave says his first obligation is to his own family. He can't be expected to support everyone else.
Agree wth the direction Dave took with this. The answer is not more income. The answer is reducing debt, getting spending habits under control, and cutting loose from some of the financial drains being placed on the household by extended family.
The early years of a child's life are so important. If at all possible mothers should be at home with their children. It is so easy these days to say put them in childcare but that is not always best for the child. $120,000 a year is definately enough to live on, Sell the other house, giving mom etc enough time to find another place to live and then give them a weekly allowance to help with the 16yo's living expenses. Note: not mum and brothers expenses just the niece. Because at the moment he's supporting all three. Would love to know how it all worked out.
YEAH! Dave for seeing what's really going on! My ex- husband wanted me to go to work outside and inside the home when our 3 children were small but I wasn't going to have some stranger raise my children, that was our job. I did work part-time once they were in school but made sure I was home when they were home. I've found in my own experience and observing others, that men want a working wife/mother/housekeeper to take the financial burden off them but so many men don't appreciate the toll it takes on a women physically and emotionally.
A fellow nurse who worked at the same nursing home finally quit her job to be home. DH had a fit. She said there were too many times she'd come in the door at midnight (she did 3-11 shift) to find the kids passed out on their beds still in their school uniforms and their homework scattered around them undone. Seems he couldn't get the hang of the evening routine the kids needed.
I agree it can be a challenge but I also don't think that many women appreciate the toll it can take on men either...that's where the stereotype of the hard-working man dying of a heart attack in his fifties comes from...the fact is that women are adults and need to expect that they are going to work to support their own children. It doesn't have to be full-time but they should be contributing financially as well as in a nurturing sense. It's not right that the entire burden falls on the father both in terms of financial pressure but also in time spent away from the children.
@@suzy1750 most men these days aren’t working brutal jobs thanks to automation and computers 💻 though so they’re definitely not working the actual hands on brutal construction 🦺 jobs and the like that cause physical damage to their bodies overtime. Men these days have developed more soft skills than anything in the workplace and the most stress some get at work would be mental fatigue at best after a long day if they don’t know how to properly handle stress which is a vital life skill. Our society thinks careers are more important than raising children. If a man works and doesn’t take any breaks then he’s not going to live long anyway even God took a day off from creating things and if he brings children in the world he should always make spending time with his family the priority otherwise what’s the point stay single and unmarried. This generation of men are spoiled period and women play their part in that being so as well.
My friend was in a marriage like that and recently got out. I like the traditional ways of life and, as a latch key kid growing up, really appreciate when families put forth effort to be present in their child’s life. However, that’s not what was happening with my friend. Her husband expected her to work full time, solely take care of their child (used the excuse of “well, it’s a girl”), do all the cleaning, and have dinner ready each night. Literally, he would throw a tantrum if she was exhausted and brought home pizza instead. Even then he’d hold “his” money over her because he made more, even though their outgoing flow was pretty much 50/50 as he took care of the mortgage and she paid all the day to day expenses. It was wild.
People don’t value good motherly love or parenting, which explains why this generation is full of adult babies and entitled brats. Parenting is extremely important, your whole life is pretty much predestined depending on how you were raised. It’s failure or success because it’s extremely hard to “unwire” our personality once we hit a certain age. Again, parenting is so important because a human being’s entire life is in your hands. It’s sad our backwards society doesn’t see the value in this anymore, which makes sense cause everyone nowadays are like walking zombies anyway. They don’t have a single clue what love, self sacrifice and good upbringing even looks like. It’s sad quite honestly. The caller of this episode could have used some of that 😬
Actually entitle brats come from parents spending too much time with them and being available all the time. Brats are a relatively new phenomenon in the US. Both my parents worked and me and my siblings are all sound. Staying at home as an excuse is not the answer.
If I get married, I don't want to deal with my parents/siblings or in-laws, just me, her, and maybe a kid/kids, that's how it's supposed to be. No money shall go to my extended or her extended family.
That'd be ideal, and I agree, but if things get tough for your parents or siblings, it would be crazy to watch them spiral down or end up on the street.
hmm didn't know his 66 year old mother and brother weren't family despite you know the mom sacrificing a lot to raise the kid earning a 6 digit salary today
I'm kinda in the same situation. A few years ago my wife wanted to work, and she did. But it really didn't pay, when you think about the marginal taxes you would pay, and all the aggravation related to work and work related expenses. Now if she made a lot of money and had a job she loved I would say ok. Eventually she quit because she was missing out on a lot of the kids growing up and for the other reasons I gave. A family should be able to live on $120k. And I live in an expensive suburb of NYC. Sure we don't take several trips to the Caribean every year or drive Lexus, but we have everything we need.
I grew up in one of those suburbs raised by parents who went through the depression. They didn't have much money so our vacations work usually camping. But that's all we needed as kids we didn't need a lot of other stuff. We had a wonderful childhood
@@HurricaneGaming509 If she did this, once the debt was gone she'd be pressured to keep working to support Shane's sponging relatives. Shane needs to either sell the house he can't afford and everyone lives in one house, or he raises the rent to cover the mortgage in his second house.
It's case-and=point of the problem itself when Dave has to dig and dig and dig to get the basic information out of a caller.. You can just tell how much of a mess the callers are by the way they are not up-front with the details...
Man, hearing him go through all of that puts fear in me to even call in. I know we overspend but trust me listening to some of these callers I am learning.
If she doesn't want to work, don't force her. There is nothing wrong with a woman so devoted to her family that she gives up her own earnings, especially if the breadwinner is making 120k. It's good for the kids and it's good for you too! Balance your budget, I mean, seriously... you can make it on 120k!
Shane isn't worried about his wife's future well-being .... he's concerned about about his current cash-flow being insufficient to support his brother, niece and mother in the style they'd like to continue. You seem to be concerned about the wife not giving up spending, yet Shane's overspending is somehow OK.
A D good Lord. She IS working, raising children and keeping a house! Just watch, she’ll go back to work and then he’ll act all surprised when he needs to lift a finger at home
Wow this was an amazing video! I'm a stay at home mom and I completely understand as I too am vilified for not "working". Even though my husband makes more than enough for our family.
@@robert8930everyone with a brain? She’s taking care of her 2 and a half and 6 year old. The point of prosperity is partially the leisure and security is provides. I thought the point of traditional living was letting your wife raise the kids properly.
@@Riggy931 thanks for replying to my comment that was 2 years ago, unfortunately i forgot about the video and im too lazy to watch it again in order to provide a proper response.
I would love for my wife not to work and stay at home.... That would be such a blessing to her and I. Get ready Dave. We'll be seeing you soon... "WE'RE DEBT FREE"
He sounds like a good hearted person which is all credit to him, but helping family is one thing. When it`s over and over again, that family member or members are just using you. They know you`ll do it so they let you, they don`t care about the cost of you own house hold. Stand tall MAN & cut them off, their vampires sucking the life out of you! Tough love is what they need!
She shouldn't go back to work. Men need to work hard and support their children and families. Staying home with the kids is the best thing a mother can do. The majority of people with 2 incomes over spend, over shop, drive luxury cars, go on multiple vacations each year. If you have kids, Mom stay home with them.
People are forgetting that this guy is calling from Canada -- if this guy is living in Alberta, the GTA, or the Vancouver area, $120000 isn't a lot of money. Everything costs more here.) But so does childcare - it's unlikely his wife would make enough working outside the home to cover childcare costs. For us, with one child in full-time care and one child after-school, it was cheaper to hire a live-in nanny. After child #3, it was better for me to just stay home. It's easy to be hard on him for taking care of his family before the needs of his wife and kids, but you can tell he just has a kind heart. He just hadn't thought about it from that direction before. I sure hope he took Dave's advice to heart.
Uuuuhhhh..... This man despises his wife. He's putting his other family ahead of his own wife and child. He has no appreciation for her domestic labour. They need to head to a counselor asap.
120k a year and he's trying to push his wife into a job while she has two kids to raise. 😠 Some men can be so freaking frustrating. Leave and cleave, fellas!
She’d either have to spend tons of money on daycare, or pawn them off on family to babysit them. Either way it’s optimal for kids to have mom raising them.
I’m way late to the game here. My husband had asked me to go back to work when we were trying to get on our feet. I did. Our household FELL apart. He worked days, I worked nights, we have 3 kids, our house was never clean, the kids weren’t getting baths, no one was in a schedule, we never saw each other, we fought all the time He then asked me to QUIT. why? It was better for us. Childcare is expensive, sometimes it’s not always better for both people to work. Being at home is just as valuable!
This caller should be helping his family not completely financially supporting them. There are two adults in the house. They can do something to help themselves. Caller and his wife need to sit down with them and figure this out.
The exact same thing happened to me. My wife was off on maternity leave and I inherited around $150,000. She gave me every excuse why she couldn't go back to work until all of the money was gone and a line of crdit was maxed out at $90,000. The day the line of credit was maxed out she said I'm leaving. Little did I know she had it all set up with an older guy with lots of Money. Live and learn.
I totally agree with dave on this, the caller has a 2nd house which he uses to help support his mother, brother and niece (even though it is commendable to have a self sacrificing spirit) you can only help people if your in a position to help! The fact that he wants to have his wife work and pay for child care for their 2 yr old instead of selling the other house which he CAN'T afford ....definitely shows his priority aren't straight and im pretty sure if he sells it and his wife sees the change she get on board with tighten up the belt on her spending. the caller makes way more money than my husband and our mortgage was higher and i was able to stay home till my kids got older
OMG - uh, sell the extra house, cut off family charity, and realize that daycare oftentimes costs more than mom can make if she goes back to work. No one can take care of your kids like you do!!
Mr.White- The point she is making is it wouldn't be equal. She would be working(like him) however, she would still be cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids etc. So, for the wife more is added to her workload, while the husbands stay the same.
A SINFUL Shop-aholic wife? Who cant handle 2 kids & a JOB? My Mother & 2 Grandmothers would take Turns Slapping this Woman . IM GLAD marriage rate is DOWN to unbelievable low numbers.
Child care is very expensive in Canada, especially since they are in a major city, so I hope she has good earning power or else half of her income will just be going to child care.
She cares for 2 kids and a household and he makes 6 figure income and can't figure out how to live on that. Guys like this make me glad I am single lol. What a selfish jerk... lol he wants to cut off her TV and phone. I feel sorry for her. He is blaming it all on her. Unbelievable lol. He is supporting everyone except his wife.
Stop judging folks! Making fun of someone in a bad financial situation is not cool at all. It doesn't matter how much you make, it's about living within your means and obviously, they have exceeded that and then some. Unfortunately, even if his wife returned to work, this wouldn't fix anything at all, it would probably make things worse. He needs to listen to Dave and take his advice seriously. Taking care of extended family is only good when you can take care of your own first.
harp per lol you must be young or not a home owner yet. in my situation if I made 120k a year I said what I say be true. easily I could put 30k a year towards my mortgage. I make no where near 120k and put in 15k total now. it's tough but I manage with strict budgeting. lol..Internet mentioned, smallest bill to pay. my property tax is 360 a month. Healthcare is good in canada, benifits covered
Guilt and feelings of obligation throw us into debt all the time. Loans to friends/family who expect us to help them out and who never pay it back can put us under a rock, and paralyze us. It puts us in a position of demanding repayment, throwing them out of our house, or doing other things to resolve the problem is often unthinkable. It's not just the money, it's the position as the lender that makes things bad. People expect us to continue to do what we have been doing, and they rely on us to be their keeper. If you try to stop after awhile, there is outrage, blame, guilt and shaming. Tantrums, in other words. It is better not to start in the first place. My mother used to say, "If you start doing that, they will continue to expect you will do that." And we become fearful of the wrath of people who feel you have let them down after so long of holding them up. No appreciation for what you have already done much of the time.
OMG what is he complaining about?????????? making 120k?? did I hear this right? why would anyone want to work .. i thought he was going to say 20k a year and he was poor or something :/
A lot of commenters are missing a subtext. One strategy for maximizing a divorce settlement is to have the other person be the sole earner. This increases both maintenance and child support obligations, and increases the sympathy of the court towards other rewards... such as sole ownership of the marital residence. Also: If the brother is paying $750 / mo and does not get any equity in the house, then he is essentially paying the interest on the mortgage as his rent. 3% compounded monthly works out to $250 per $100k, or $750 / month on a $300k house. Meanwhile, the husband and wife are building equity in that house, and their biggest expenses will be RE taxes and maintenance. So I don't view that scenario to be as severe as stated in the video. Be wary of any woman who outright refuses to work. It is a means to an end, and that won't end well for you.
I'm planning on going back to work as soon as my child is old enough to be left in a nursery - childcare fees would take up literally half my paycheck, but we need every penny right now. I don't want to, I want to spend time with my baby, but my partner lost their job and now works in a pub so it's what I've got to do
It sounds like no matter how much this family earns, they will be in the same situation. They need to get on the same page and stop blaming each other. Start a budget at stick to it!
Dave is right. This isn't her problem. And yet...she isn't blameless. She contributed to the debt. It just doesn't sit right with me that she is refusing to help pay back at least part of that debt. And ALSO. She married the guy! She MUST have known how he was the "breadwinner child" of the family, the sibling who ends up contributing most when their parents and/or siblings haven't planned for the unexpected/made dumb choices. I'm sure Dave would argue that once you're married you cut ties and are now bound to your wife, etc, but in these cases it's a bit trickier.
She should go back to work because she contributed to the 200k debt they're in, she's even more lazy if there's no children at home or they're at school, just because he worked his ass off to get a decent job shouldn't mean she lives a life of luxury!
When my wife works, we spend less. When she doesn't work, we earn less. If I loose my job, we'll be on the streets beggin'. It really is that simple. At least we don't have kids, because I would hate to be one of those familes, we make fun of, with the 35 year old at home. Chld-Free, my friends.
This is why Dave is great at what he does. He got all the facts, cut through all the BS, and gave the caller REAL advice, and not what the caller was hoping to hear.
If you cant live on 120k a year boi you doin something wrong
This guy sounds like, with or without a wife, and even if he made double the money at $240,000, he'd still run out of money. He just sounds dumb with money either way.
Eric B agreed
Agreed but it's a little different in NYC or the Bay Area though. 120k doesn't make you rich there. But in Calgary? Yeah they're overspending.
@@SD-in2mv $120k CAD is $90k USD and on top of that everything is more expensive in Canada. It's still an excellent income though.
JTundra is you can’t live on 60k you doing something wrong
People amaze me, I sit here and listen to these callers living on 120,00-300,00 a yrr, I live on 40,000 with a house payment, car payment, kids, and student loan payments, and I take vacations.
Grueningere I'm the same way. Well, minus the house payment, car payment kids, and I make $50,000. But it's all paid off and I have to say I live a pretty good life and will retire with dignity in 30 years, lol. Probably be a millionaire in 20.
I make even less, and I don't have half the problems these people have.
many people who earn a lot also spend a lot. for most people, it's difficult to make a lot of money and still live like you have to be cheap
Sarah T $200,000 Canadian dollars IS A LOT! Most people don’t live on more than $40-65,000 per year!
Sha Ron it’s 120k but the average calgary home is 500’000. Average bills in Calgary are 5600 a month. It’s dam expensive
That is insulting. You make 6 figures and can't live off that. Hes putting everyone else before his wife.
Calgary is cheap, too, and was cheap when he first called in. 🙄 I live in a more expensive place nearby and only need to make $40k to live the lifestyle I want, while still paying debts. Once the debts are paid, I only need $30k.
His wife should get a job.
@@Laoriginal718 Why? In their area the cost of childcare is more expensive than her not working until the child goes to school. The rest of the housing costs and food and taxes are low.
You marry the man you marry the family. If you didn't wanna be part of the family and help than DON'T MARRY HIM. Your mom and brother are nit extended family they are direct family. Lady should get a job thats shameful.
@@autochess2502 No, immediate family is your partner and kids. Everyone else becomes extended family unless you're living under the same roof. You work together to budget what you are comfortable with spending. Kid's needs comes first. Partners needs second. Personal needs third. If you have all that settled and room in the budget to help parents and siblings without making yourself homeless (like they should be able to), then you extend help outside the immediate family.
I have a sneaking suspicion that this is coming from his mother and brother, to him. They are probably the ones telling him how he would be better off if she was working. He is also financially supporting his niece? Her dad died. She is getting survivor benefits as a minor, where is that going? I know it won't cover everything but come on!
good point!
Very possible. I think they would like to continue to reside in a house they can not afford.
He's just housing them. He's not financially supporting them. Also you're choosing to disregard that the wife has debt to her name and she needs to clean that up. It's not the man's responsibility to clear HER debt with HIS paycheck.
@@HurricaneGaming509 Just housing them? What Shane's brother is paying doesn't cover half the mortgage on the house. BTW, not the man's responsibility to support his brother , either.
@@HurricaneGaming509 haha, you have know idea how family life works, go back to your basement incel.
The caller sooo thought Dave was gonna say his wife needed to go to work. 😂😂
But instead he ripped into him! 🤣
He might have done that if Shane's version of events had prevailed. When the entire story came out .... well we saw what Dave did.
@@MissAllyjandra Dave didn't listen very well. He pays that 900 twice a month not once. She's comfortable at home she needs to get out and work and figure this out with her husband. Sounds like she's a spender as well.
@@joeb2588 Yes. If the husband doesn't want to be a single provider, it's selfish of the wife to not go back to work.
That being said, he should try to get his brother and mother to buy his house from him. Heck, he could just sell it to them for the 200k he has in debt and be done with it.
@@Mukation yes, I agree.
Ugh. His poor wife. Funny how he throws her under the bus for wanting to stay home with the kids but fails to mention supporting his mom and niece until Dave does some digging.
Mochadelicious . Some men do not want the wife to stay home. Think she is lazy, etc.
So he can support his niece? I don't think so.
Punkydoodle how do we know he wants her to take care of the kids and not have some type of baby sister or something instead if her salary wouls be alot more then what they would need to pay
CB313 I take it you dont have kids. Spending time with your small children and giving them a one-to-one upbringing every day is incredibly valuable, and anyone earning 120 should be able to afford that. If he wants to house his mum and niece, they can live with him or he can swap for a cheaper house.
Zoe Adams i was saying how do we know the guy wants the mom to be a stay at home mom.. it was a reply to what someone said above
he's trying so hard to blame it all on her!
why did he try to hide the second house!?
If he'd told him earlier, he'd have told him to sell it. Or he could raise the rent.
The brothers rent payment is no where near enough. He needs to sell and give his brother his portion so he can buy what fits for his situation.
The caller used the phrase "buy into" the house. Actually I'm not sure what that is supposed to mean. I suspect that's why Dave said brother needs to go get a mortgage and buy it.
They've got 2 adults living in that second house. Raise the rent or rent one of the bedrooms to someone else if they can't afford the raise in rent.
he married a lazy wife. period
I don’t blame the wife ! I wouldn’t work either. No way would I allow my paycheck to support his family
I'd be thinking divorce!
What about the debt that you have in your name? Would u not work to pay that off?
@@HurricaneGaming509 what is the debt on cause he never says exactly. He wants to cancel the home phone and cable which is nuts if you make 120,000. One it's not going to pay off 200,000 in debt in any reasonable time frame. 2 the money that is being spent on owning a second home would pretty dang quickly clean up the debt. He says she over spend but she also stays home is she buying food, clothes for the family, ECT. I am sahm I do all the shopping my husband hasn't bought groceries in 5 years. If he wanted to he could say I spend wildly because I am in charge or pretty much every purchase insurance, food, clothes everything gets done by me because I am home when most companies are open. Also if your not shopping you pretty quickly forget what a normal price is my hubby went shopping for Valentine's day and just about fell over at the price of flowers and chocolate ( of course they are up for Valentine's day) but he still had no idea what a normal price was because he doesn't do it regularly. Why Dave tells people to budget is because most people if they aren't watching have no idea how much is reasonable to run a house hold.
Maybe she is a crazy spender and maybe she puts groceries on the credit card and just expects that since they make 120000 they should be able to pay it off each month no problem.
@jeisa Jeis You haven't listened to Dave much if you think he'd let the wife's family pull what Shane's family has done.
@@nhgriff1 so wouldn't i. Lazy wife doesn't want to help her husband. Did you hear him say, she spends like she's working? Dave missed that. He also missed "900 2 times a month. Not monthly." It's time for team work.
"your supporting the rest of your family and you want your wife to go back to work to do that , that's what she hears and that's what i'm hearing" , that kind of says it all, and Dave was really smart to pick up on that.
She still isn't working and being lazy lol. The guy should quit his job and stay at home with the kids then see what happens
@@brendondowdy5651 why would she ever want to got to work to support that guys side of the family?
@@rayn1ful couple reasons. If you want to look at it correctly it's her family as well. After you are married you are one. Otherwise the guy would just say it's my money I'll spend it as I please. So then if he quits she would have to go to work to support "her" family lol.
@@rayn1ful How about to support herself since here he is supporting her.
Yeah she has to be absent from her own children so she can support someone else’s children financially.
Yesss!!! Extended family! I love how he set this guy right. Some men think helping their mother and family of origin is more important than being a teammate with their partner and putting their children as the highest priority 😬
Most people I've heard on here earn more money than the average American. The tendency I see is that the more one makes the more one spends. It's a blessing to learn from others mistakes. I hope they all find their way out.
Orlando Rivas, thank you for the recent subscribe! Welcome to The Dave Ramsey Show UA-cam Channel!
Thank you for offering your material to us.
Lifestyle inflation is real. Man....
Orlando Rivas
Its true. The funny part is many don't have more than anyone else. Its a house a car, maybe a property etc. The house may be bigger and the car may be a sport car but really most don't have that much more. A 4000 square foot house isn't any better than a 1500 square foot house. Its all about appearance for most people.
It's true.
Sell the house, put them in something they can afford and let your wife stay with her kids while they are little. Good grief
we all want to stay with the kids when they're little. Doesn't always work.
Much better life outcome on average for kids if they have a stay at home parent for the first five years of their life.
@@joeb2588 $120k is enough
@@NoName-sp5dp I used to say the same and assume 50K is rich and more than enough to raise 2 kids .... in my 20s before being married :-D. You never know unless you walk in other people's shoes and 120K is not alot if you consider he is paying for 3 expenses houses and has to feed 2 kids and have a 50% tax in Canada. Candian taxes are much higher than American on high income earners. The only saving grace is they don't have to pay out health insurance each month. My mom had to work and I survived fine. She took me to work and she got a 2nd job once I turned 7 to help pay the bills.
No, men and women are equal. She can go out and get a job
It annoys the heck out of me when people call for Dave's help and he has to prod them to tell the whole story behind their financial troubles. This guy wanted to vilify his wife for not wanting to go back to work, yet Dave had to pull out o f him the fact that he makes 120K and owns a second house. What a tool. I do enjoy hearing the issues that people call in with and the solutions offered up. However, I can't take the hemming and hawing because they don't want to tell the full story or want to go on and on about how great their kids are. My advice to callers: Get to the point, get your answer and move along.
The problem is they aren’t calling for advice they are calling because they want to be on Air with Dave.
I bet you would be whistling a different tune if the sexes were reversed if he didn't work and refused to get a job when she was struggling paying for 2 houses.
@@timothygibney159 Another day, another beta male whining about If ThE GenDeRs WeRe RevErSeD
@@timothygibney159 if the genders were reversed, I bet this tool would still expect his wife to do the housework and raise the kids.
@@loisavci3382 of course while he advises her to leave the deadbeat husband lol. Call my cynical but I think both spouses should always work in 2019 as rent and mortgages and health insurance have skyrocketed so fast over inflation unless the hubby is a CEO or company owner. I get so mad reading responses for entitled wives thinking it's the same world as the 1960s. Math doesn't add for 2 $60,000 cars, $10,000 a year for kids clothes, $15,000 a year for food, $350,000 home, college funds for $1,000,000 per child, and $1,500,000 for retirement, family time, and lots of vacation from just one salary so she can watch TV. Rediculous
And it’s cheaper to stay home then put two kids in daycare. That was overlooked!
I mean not necessarily, I assume that his mother and his niece can look after the children.
@@Donzacuceron no
@@NoName-sp5dp Based on what?
7 year old don’t stay at daycare, they go to school wich is free in Canada. Also doesn’t the workplace pay for kindergarden?
@@CassidyStarke you clearly don't live in canada, i do. school is not free in canada ! even public schools you pay fees so don't know where you got that idea. also NO workplace does not pay for kindergarden, daycare even is not free. the caller is from alberta and he said they have a 2 and a half year old. if she went back to work licensed daycare costs range from $950 - $1,200/month in alberta..
If i made like $90, 000, i'd have my wife home taking care of our son. and still save.
He said has to pay $22,800 A YEAR for Mortgage + Tax + insurance + utilitys + every thing else.... apples vs oranges.
That actually pays off. Theres a difference in kids who have a mother at home. My son is 28. Hes about to turn his first 100k. Almost everyone he knows is lost. There are so many profitable ways to run a household. Moms..STAY AT HOME WITH YOUR KIDS. It pays off.
@@ConstantCompanion 100% agree. People need constant attention during the first five years of their life for a reason. It's worth far more than money to have a parent around to give them that attention.
Oh, and it also works out that couples who have a stay at home mom end up doing much better financially anyway:
-You can move for big promotions. This is almost impossible to do with two people working.
-Men tend to work much harder when they have a wife and kids to support. Harder work usually equals more income.
-You avoid daycare costs.
-It alleviates the stress. The man doesn't have worry about the people who are watching his kids and he knows that his house is being taken care of.
-The women knows that her children are being properly cared for and she doesn't have to deal with the competitive stress of the workplace. She instead gets to spend her time with the most important people in her life.
-The children get the attention of the people that they rely upon for survival and sustenance and with that comes comfort and confidence.
@@NoRecourse1785 amen! Any man trying to force u to work instead of raise kids for their first 5 years doesn't understand anything
@@ConstantCompanion yes it's for the best I work from home when I can off and on to help out I don't want to really commute back and forth to work anymore + we have Special needs children
I hear the husband saying "my house" "my money". He called in like his wife is the problem--- when actually HE is! Didn't you all hear how long it took him to admit the BIGGEST problem, that freaking $300k house and supporting his family? He's obviously married to his family, not his wife!
This guy needs his balls back. Like right now.
Actually I'm looking more at Shane's brother ....
It is his house and his money cuz she don't work
😂😂 he made it sound like his lazy wife doesn't want to work when really he wants to be a martyr and a people pleaser
@@face-in-the-crowd sure taking care of your family is being aartyr and a people pleaser
Just another pea size brain woman. just look at her pic it shows tsk tsk ..
Honestly, if he’s making 120k, there’s no reason she shouldn’t stay home - depending on her potential income, the child care costs might make that cost prohibitive anyway.
I make 80k and my wife stays home, would be EAAAASY on 120k. And we haven't even really lived on a budget, we just do what we want...although she's bad with money and I need to curb her on that. Before I got married I was just banking money like crazy every month, I just forced her to start on the everydollar app so she finally will see that "this was only $8 at Target!" adds up to a shitload after a while. I have 1 payment left on my car, and 6 months left on hers, then her $6000 student loan and we are debt free with 20% equity in our house. Gonna get the budget in order and pay this house off so we can start living easy!
She needs to have her income. The wife is lazy. She has debt and she needs to take care of it.
@@penguin12902 good on you Penguin. Some people don't realize the value of having a parent raise your kids vs some minimum wage employee. Me and my husband both work, half my salary goes to child care and all I get is a child full off bad habits from daycare. (And I'm a nurse and she always gets almost depressed when I'm gone 12 hours a day 3-4 times a week).
@@jessicaolson490 So true. Daycare & work associated expenses can eat up a paycheck in nothing flat!
As a nurse you make a decent wage, just imagine the size dent daycare can put in a low income worker's paycheck!
Also, my 4yo granddaughter is in part time daycare & it seems like every other week she's brought home some cootie that was going around & has to go to the doctor. That causes lost income & medical bills to bite the paycheck even further.
Many people forget to include ALL the costs into the decision of if mom should work or not. Daycare, lost work & doctor bills due to ill children, her work wardrobe, work lunches, additional car expenses & repairs, more take out meals, etc. It's often more cost effective for mom to stay at home while the kids are little.
Hurricane Gaming she is not lazy she is doing more now than what she would working outside the home
Doesn’t “want” to work?!
Have you ever tried watching a 2 year old?
Unless the wife is making a lot of money, it might not make sense for her to work
Have you priced day care lately?
The niece could take care of the child at least part time, especially together with his mother.
My guess is he hasn’t thought of that. I paid $1000 a month for daycare for my 2 yr old.
Michele Nichols We are taking about USD.
Has anyone considered they won’t be toddlers forever
@@00700556 I would understand if the kids were older but right now they're not.
Sell the house, or raise the rent.
If you insist on supporting your entire family, move everyone into one house.
Find the mother of your niece. Take her to court for child support.
+James Bond she probably is already paying child support, but it can be a very small amount
I don't know how the system works in the US, but in the UK you can only be paying very little to your ex partner, it all depends on how much you earn.
If you're unemployed it's £5/week, which wouldn't even cover the child's food.
James Bond A piece of work "mother" that would abandon a baby like that is probably in jail or the gutter
I was thinking the same thing. If he is that "gongho" about taking care of mom and niece, why not everyone live in one house. There are some other issues here. Sounds like he must not truly love his wife if he thinks its okay to support 3 other people not living in his immediate home more than the 3 he should be more obligated to. He is seriously confused or just looking for a road to start his way out of the relationship.
Best answer ive seen
Well that’s certainly not what he wanted to hear LOL
True.
"Ah, it's all her fault. Dave, please agree with me."
Blah, blah, blah...
@@Feber2001 hahaha. Yes he was not happy lol
@@Feber2001 wow. Funny how none of it is her fault. She needs to get back to work and figure this out with her husband. It's the 1st time I heard Dave miss half the story. He pays that 900 2x a month not once, she spends, like himself......
I really hate when men blame the woman for the financial problem like this. DAMN 120,000 and they are broke??? From the way he is speaking he doesn't want to admit he is the problem. Cable and buying groceries and household items didn't put them in debt. His stupid decisions did!
Why u think 120000 is a lot for a family of 5?
Stop making it about men vs women.
I would rather my wife stay at home with the kid than her work so we can pay for my brother and mother's living expenses and STILL have that much debt. Don't make her work extra (being a mom IS work) so that bro and mom don't have to.
brother and mother's living expenses? no way, not me, they're on their own. That guy was wrong for helping with his brother's expenses. For me it's about wife and kid(s), no one else. I don't even want to deal with parents/sibllings/in-laws/extended family
laurel jade To support her husband's sponging relatives? I don't think so. Besides, if she only gets a part-time job Shane will next be complaining about how it isn't full-time.
Vydio I think "shane" need to deal with them (i.e. in laws) first. Shane is too nice.
laurel jade It is possible that Shane's wife will re-consider going back to work if it isn't going to go to support Shane's family.
I'm the main provider in my family I make 4x what my husband does. if we were to have children he would stay home instead of paying for childcare which I'm ok with. what I would not be ok with is enabling either of our families. I have helped his sister and my sister out a bit but not to that extent nor would I that's when you just start getting taken advantage of
It's actually a $2,000 house payment. Caller said $990 *every 2 weeks*. Ramsey missed that.
So his brother isn't paying the full mortgage. So assuming Shane is also paying a mortgage on his own house he's paying a mortgage and a half.
And wife is still spending as if she still had a full time job. That shouldn't be happening.
Still doesn’t make a big difference it’s only 1/6th of his income
Jacqueline, I think he's lying about that because he just doesn't want to have to tell his side of the family to get their acts together. Fact is 120K a year is a far far more than enough to raise a family of 4. If he can't get her to stop spending, that may be A problem, but the BIG problem here is this guy is paying for an extra house, and another whole household to live in it. At the very least he could move them into his house. Sure it would be uncomfortable, but let me tell you; nothing gets people motivated to get their act together like discomfort.
Jacqueline Salyer doubt it he sounds like someone who doesn’t wanna own up dude said “I probably contributed” the only reason why he took the cable away is so she could be bored and work lol
Dude, I wish I made $120k a year. I'd live within my means and be a multi millionaire once I retire.
You can
Then do it
Nothing is stopping you
I'd live like I was making 40k
It's Canadian money, so it's worth less. The taxes are also higher.
The caller was talking a lot at first, giving lots of details about his wife, but when Dave brought up the rest of the family living off of them in a separate house he got really quiet.
I'm begging my wife to quit her job, we work different shifts and I want to spend more time with her. Be a man, you married her, so take care of her period!
you married her, so take care of her period
Wat?
YES 🙌🏻
@@androphile Yea
@Sean Romero Did you call her lazy?? Lol 🤣 she works and takes care of their child... um okay. You just judged him for judging the caller. Ironic.
How about the man quite his job and she take care of him just because he doesn’t wanna work? Is that ok?
I hate to say this, but the caller needs to be a man and understand the benefit of his wife staying home - he needs to take care of his family NOT his extended family....sorry, that is what I see...
Also the wife needs to stop spending so much and be a mommy!
WesleyGW
I doubt it's just the wife that created that debt !
Carole Ingram Sounds like they had a lot of help huh?
Its not the 1950s , men dont want housewifes anymore ... I understand that shes home taking care of the kids but she needs to help and go back to work !
MrJiffy....actually, nothing wrong with the 1950s and raising your own kid(s), a stay-at-home mom can be of better value at home. The problem is not there but actually his family needs to stop taking advantage of him knowing that he has his own wife/kid to take care of now. I cant blame her for not wanting to go back to work, she would be paying/enabling his family even more!
I think Dave missed how stay at home mom with a two year old is a job and it saves them money. I think that would’ve made his answer so much more strong, as the man clearly is not appreciating what she’s doing at home or doesn’t know what she does to keep them afloat.
Correction she doesn't want to work outside the home. She IS working inside the home.
Debatable
@@kirapoodleIt's also debatable whether somebody is working at a job. Many lazy people at work doing nothing. So what is your point?
@@SarahR2D2 My point is the one you just made.
@@kirapoodle it's irrelevant
@@kirapoodle you must have not personally cared for children and tended to home duties? That’s a full time gig right there!
Dave Ramsey is a REAL man.
Yes he is. Full of common sense!
BAHHAHAHAHA, okay bud... whatever you say...
@Cis White Male With Extra Privilege
Not true.
@Cis White Male With Extra Privilege you dont understand roles
He really is. I love guys like this. They put their family first and anyone else second.
Regardless of his perspective on stay at home moms, what Dave is saying is that if she DID work, that money would be going to his brother, mother, etc. If I was being asked to work more hours at work so that we could by for my mother in law or her brother, I wouldn't want to do that work. I'd want that extra work to help out myself and my wife and my kid.
He doesn't have to be harsh to his family. Selling a house takes a long time, plenty of time for them to figure out where else to live besides a home that isn't theirs.
Agree. He will really be hurting if she decides to file for divorce. He may end up living with mom and brother!
That's not true at all. The money would go towards her debt, which the husband clearly says she has. It would also go towards helping out around the house. That way the husband can take care of his siblings as well.
Hurricane Gaming their debt which he clearly said , he contributed to, also a part of that is second house that no one in her family lives . A 2 year old needs around clock care we are talking 500-800 a week ... the 7 year would needs someone to pick him up and drop him off about another 150 a week . Unless she is looking to make another 120 it doesn’t make sense .... also what’s with all the ppl thinking that staying home with two kids is not work ???
@@HurricaneGaming509 The husband shouldn't be taking care of his mom, niece, and brother. That's on his mom and brother to do. That's the real point. He doesn't need to be wiping their butts, they are adult enough to take responsibility for themselves. Plus, the debt isn't "her" it's THEIR debt. They made it together (he admitted that) and they are married. Married people are a unit that pulls together. This is on him just as much as it's on her. They both are putting their money where it doesn't belong, and now their monetary mismanagement is coming home to roost.
If I make 120,000 I will definitely let my wife stay home so that she will raise our kids and I see her every time I come back home
Of course. Come home to some romance, cooked meal, clean house, groomed kids, lots of time together. Amen to that
Wow he wants to keep his wife working so he can support his family that's crazy....Good advice Dave
Right I would divorce take half bye lol 😂might as well be alone having to take care of whole family and make ur wife work for that
Unless you are underwater on your primary residence, sell it too. You are living way beyond your means.
One should strive to be quietly wealthy, not loudly poor. And, lets be real, you are POOR!
Thanks for the quote I will definitely be using it.
Jeremey Allen a $900 house payment with a $120K is not living beyond your means - Dave even said it wasn't the problem. All their other spending is the issue...
He did not say 900 a month, he said 900 every two weeks, way to much house for them with that kind of debt. Sell both houses or make the brother buy him out of the shared property. She doesn't have to work, 120 is MORE than enough for them if they were smart about it.
Jeremey Allen best comment here
$1800 a month mortgage is nothing for someone making $120,000 a year.
Sell the house and let your family take care of themselves!!!
People these days...If a woman "should" go to work, then a man "should" cook his own dinner, pack his own lunch, properly clean the house, wash the clothes, change the diapers, help kids with homework, change the linens, attend parent-teacher conferences alone (like many women do), and rub his own feet. The list goes on and on. Don't expect to be pampered, waited on hand and foot and spoiled if it bothers you to do the same for her. Otherwise all the chores and childcare need to split up, too.
Amen sister!
Good for them. Many men say they'll do that but they don't. They want to split the financial responsibility, but everything else is primarily on the woman. Hence women calling themselves "super woman" because they "do it all", but the man is only responsible for his share of the finances. Like I said, if he doesn't want to spoil his wife in that way, everything should be split, so you actually agreed with me lol. If what I said doesn't apply to you, then I wasn't talking to you. Adios.
***** I think you need to read again. My original post was about women being housewives if they want (and can), and those men who say women "should" work by default should be up to splitting everything else too. I think it's messed up to expect modern in one way, but then traditional in every other way, unless both have agreed on that. You gave your story about men who obviously don't fit what I'm talking about, so I addressed it. I don't know how else to explain that to you, so I'm just gonna be out and continue listening to kpop and watching mukbangs. Toodles.
Grand Champ
Grand Champ No she is just saying it's easy for guys to say she should work but working and running a household is not easy. If they both want to work and share some of the household responsibilities then it will be less of a burden
She doesn't want to work?? He makes over $120,000.00 a year! She does work, butthead! She is raising the kids and taking care of you. Sell the second house! The guy wants his wife to help support HIS family. He lets them live there for very little, AND HE ADMITS HE HELPS THEM FINANCIALLY! This guy needs to take care of his OWN little family.
She isn't taking care of him.He is taking care of her. She does need to get a job. What if he gets fire or something. This is the 21th century. He is probably taking care of the kids as well.
"She doesn't want to work?? He makes over $120,000.00 a year! She does work"
Indeed she does and it's happens to the world's oldest profession.
devonike My guess is he is not counting on the cost of childcare. He needs to boot his sponging relatives.
if I made $120,000 a year, I'd buy the cheapest house I can find in my area and I'd be debt free in a year. Boy that is good living! I'd have no excuse to be in debt. I could have $10 million or more and I'd still work and I'd live on around $20,000 a year. I'm frugal.
Thank you!
Sell that house! She wants to stay home with her kids. She comes before your family.
I'm glad Dave asked enough questions to figure out what the real problem was - the caller has a good heart in wanting to help his extended family out financially but like Dave says his first obligation is to his own family. He can't be expected to support everyone else.
Agree wth the direction Dave took with this. The answer is not more income. The answer is reducing debt, getting spending habits under control, and cutting loose from some of the financial drains being placed on the household by extended family.
The early years of a child's life are so important. If at all possible mothers should be at home with their children. It is so easy these days to say put them in childcare but that is not always best for the child.
$120,000 a year is definately enough to live on,
Sell the other house, giving mom etc enough time to find another place to live and then give them a weekly allowance to help with the 16yo's living expenses. Note: not mum and brothers expenses just the niece. Because at the moment he's supporting all three.
Would love to know how it all worked out.
***** ah, eh, sorry, I'm trying to understand the humour...but that's just a really stupid statement.
***** yeah, good luck with that one.
Have a good life. .
YEAH! Dave for seeing what's really going on! My ex- husband wanted me to go to work outside and inside the home when our 3 children were small but I wasn't going to have some stranger raise my children, that was our job. I did work part-time once they were in school but made sure I was home when they were home. I've found in my own experience and observing others, that men want a working wife/mother/housekeeper to take the financial burden off them but so many men don't appreciate the toll it takes on a women physically and emotionally.
A fellow nurse who worked at the same nursing home finally quit her job to be home. DH had a fit. She said there were too many times she'd come in the door at midnight (she did 3-11 shift) to find the kids passed out on their beds still in their school uniforms and their homework scattered around them undone. Seems he couldn't get the hang of the evening routine the kids needed.
I agree it can be a challenge but I also don't think that many women appreciate the toll it can take on men either...that's where the stereotype of the hard-working man dying of a heart attack in his fifties comes from...the fact is that women are adults and need to expect that they are going to work to support their own children. It doesn't have to be full-time but they should be contributing financially as well as in a nurturing sense. It's not right that the entire burden falls on the father both in terms of financial pressure but also in time spent away from the children.
@@suzy1750 most men these days aren’t working brutal jobs thanks to automation and computers 💻 though so they’re definitely not working the actual hands on brutal construction 🦺 jobs and the like that cause physical damage to their bodies overtime. Men these days have developed more soft skills than anything in the workplace and the most stress some get at work would be mental fatigue at best after a long day if they don’t know how to properly handle stress which is a vital life skill. Our society thinks careers are more important than raising children. If a man works and doesn’t take any breaks then he’s not going to live long anyway even God took a day off from creating things and if he brings children in the world he should always make spending time with his family the priority otherwise what’s the point stay single and unmarried. This generation of men are spoiled period and women play their part in that being so as well.
My friend was in a marriage like that and recently got out. I like the traditional ways of life and, as a latch key kid growing up, really appreciate when families put forth effort to be present in their child’s life. However, that’s not what was happening with my friend. Her husband expected her to work full time, solely take care of their child (used the excuse of “well, it’s a girl”), do all the cleaning, and have dinner ready each night. Literally, he would throw a tantrum if she was exhausted and brought home pizza instead. Even then he’d hold “his” money over her because he made more, even though their outgoing flow was pretty much 50/50 as he took care of the mortgage and she paid all the day to day expenses. It was wild.
WOW! Over 120K per year? I wouldn't know what to do with all that money! I live in canada as well, and get by comfortably on half that!
People don’t value good motherly love or parenting, which explains why this generation is full of adult babies and entitled brats. Parenting is extremely important, your whole life is pretty much predestined depending on how you were raised. It’s failure or success because it’s extremely hard to “unwire” our personality once we hit a certain age. Again, parenting is so important because a human being’s entire life is in your hands. It’s sad our backwards society doesn’t see the value in this anymore, which makes sense cause everyone nowadays are like walking zombies anyway. They don’t have a single clue what love, self sacrifice and good upbringing even looks like. It’s sad quite honestly. The caller of this episode could have used some of that 😬
Agree 100%! That was my thought as well. She has two children who need her.
Actually entitle brats come from parents spending too much time with them and being available all the time. Brats are a relatively new phenomenon in the US.
Both my parents worked and me and my siblings are all sound. Staying at home as an excuse is not the answer.
@@kevinm8865 says Kevin who has no kids
@@jmcast3195 You are correct! Can't afford them, don't have em.
@@kevinm8865 you can afford a child. Your heart has been hardened over the years.
"Sell it!" Hahaha brilliant. It was very important that he heard all of that.
wow that flipped quickly... I was on his side at first
the brother needs to find a way to cover all the expenses or move out
If I get married, I don't want to deal with my parents/siblings or in-laws, just me, her, and maybe a kid/kids, that's how it's supposed to be. No money shall go to my extended or her extended family.
That'd be ideal, and I agree, but if things get tough for your parents or siblings, it would be crazy to watch them spiral down or end up on the street.
You both have a point. ^
^
TAKE CARE OF YOUR *OWN FAMILY
Is that with any divorce
hmm didn't know his 66 year old mother and brother weren't family despite you know the mom sacrificing a lot to raise the kid earning a 6 digit salary today
@@holyknight9507 They are his relatives. His wife and kids are his family. Duuuuuuuuh
Holy Knight no one asked to be born... besides he doesn’t have to fully support them. The guy has a brother and they can both help out.
I'm kinda in the same situation. A few years ago my wife wanted to work, and she did. But it really didn't pay, when you think about the marginal taxes you would pay, and all the aggravation related to work and work related expenses. Now if she made a lot of money and had a job she loved I would say ok. Eventually she quit because she was missing out on a lot of the kids growing up and for the other reasons I gave. A family should be able to live on $120k. And I live in an expensive suburb of NYC. Sure we don't take several trips to the Caribean every year or drive Lexus, but we have everything we need.
I grew up in one of those suburbs raised by parents who went through the depression. They didn't have much money so our vacations work usually camping. But that's all we needed as kids we didn't need a lot of other stuff. We had a wonderful childhood
Tbf you have to understand women want to work sometimes. It’s good for our health at times
dammm, cut off your family, you got your wife and kids to support
And throw your 65 year old mom who raised you on the Street?
The wife needs to get a job because she has her own debt to her name that she needs to take care of.
@@HurricaneGaming509 If she did this, once the debt was gone she'd be pressured to keep working to support Shane's sponging relatives. Shane needs to either sell the house he can't afford and everyone lives in one house, or he raises the rent to cover the mortgage in his second house.
...and the wife has kids and a husband to support, yet she can just stay home with a permission?
@@kiiltochii1607 Who is going to provide childcare for the child who is too young to go to school?
If she has a baby and a 7 year old...she works!
Anita Burden eh, two years isn’t a baby anymore. That’s a toddler.
sakume Which is much, much harder.
Yeah, I said it Harder? Any job you can do in your pjs is hardly work. Hence why nannies don't get paid more than an accountant.
sakume that’s not a toddler, more like a 24hr maid position
@@davidp2981 You obviously have never had to deal with a toddler by yourself every day.
It's case-and=point of the problem itself when Dave has to dig and dig and dig to get the basic information out of a caller.. You can just tell how much of a mess the callers are by the way they are not up-front with the details...
Also note the caller is carrying on about cutting house phones and the cable, which are insignificant compared to the supporting of his relatives.
Man, hearing him go through all of that puts fear in me to even call in. I know we overspend but trust me listening to some of these callers I am learning.
Case in point*
His problem is that he’s a love avoidant, he sees her as a burden. She should divorce him
If she doesn't want to work, don't force her. There is nothing wrong with a woman so devoted to her family that she gives up her own earnings, especially if the breadwinner is making 120k. It's good for the kids and it's good for you too! Balance your budget, I mean, seriously... you can make it on 120k!
Giuseppe Sarto oh cut it out. She laid down and had these kids too. She needs to get to work!!!
Plus it cost for child care .
Shane isn't worried about his wife's future well-being .... he's concerned about about his current cash-flow being insufficient to support his brother, niece and mother in the style they'd like to continue. You seem to be concerned about the wife not giving up spending, yet Shane's overspending is somehow OK.
Agree, but the wife needs to stop spending so much
A D good Lord. She IS working, raising children and keeping a house! Just watch, she’ll go back to work and then he’ll act all surprised when he needs to lift a finger at home
This is the best moment of my life, I was reffer by a close friend of mine and he was able to delivered the job with ease.
Wow this was an amazing video! I'm a stay at home mom and I completely understand as I too am vilified for not "working". Even though my husband makes more than enough for our family.
The fact that he tried to make his wife seem like a lazy bum while trying to hide the fact that he has a second mortgage 😂😂
who said she's not a lazy bum?
@@robert8930everyone with a brain? She’s taking care of her 2 and a half and 6 year old. The point of prosperity is partially the leisure and security is provides. I thought the point of traditional living was letting your wife raise the kids properly.
@@Riggy931 thanks for replying to my comment that was 2 years ago, unfortunately i forgot about the video and im too lazy to watch it again in order to provide a proper response.
I would love for my wife not to work and stay at home.... That would be such a blessing to her and I.
Get ready Dave. We'll be seeing you soon... "WE'RE DEBT FREE"
He sounds like a good hearted person which is all credit to him, but helping family is one thing. When it`s over and over again, that family member or members are just using you. They know you`ll do it so they let you, they don`t care about the cost of you own house hold.
Stand tall MAN & cut them off, their vampires sucking the life out of you!
Tough love is what they need!
You can imagine those who screen calls before they're aired saying 'o boy Dave's gonna love this one'...
Dave is way too real with these callers... I love it
She shouldn't go back to work. Men need to work hard and support their children and families. Staying home with the kids is the best thing a mother can do. The majority of people with 2 incomes over spend, over shop, drive luxury cars, go on multiple vacations each year. If you have kids, Mom stay home with them.
Dave dropping 🔥🔥🔥🔥
People are forgetting that this guy is calling from Canada -- if this guy is living in Alberta, the GTA, or the Vancouver area, $120000 isn't a lot of money. Everything costs more here.) But so does childcare - it's unlikely his wife would make enough working outside the home to cover childcare costs. For us, with one child in full-time care and one child after-school, it was cheaper to hire a live-in nanny. After child #3, it was better for me to just stay home.
It's easy to be hard on him for taking care of his family before the needs of his wife and kids, but you can tell he just has a kind heart. He just hadn't thought about it from that direction before. I sure hope he took Dave's advice to heart.
totallyteresa100 common I live in Calgary Alberta, we make half what he make and we live comfortably, no debts while saving money.
Uuuuhhhh..... This man despises his wife. He's putting his other family ahead of his own wife and child. He has no appreciation for her domestic labour. They need to head to a counselor asap.
120k a year and he's trying to push his wife into a job while she has two kids to raise. 😠
Some men can be so freaking frustrating. Leave and cleave, fellas!
She’d either have to spend tons of money on daycare, or pawn them off on family to babysit them. Either way it’s optimal for kids to have mom raising them.
I’m way late to the game here.
My husband had asked me to go back to work when we were trying to get on our feet.
I did. Our household FELL apart. He worked days, I worked nights, we have 3 kids, our house was never clean, the kids weren’t getting baths, no one was in a schedule, we never saw each other, we fought all the time
He then asked me to QUIT. why? It was better for us. Childcare is expensive, sometimes it’s not always better for both people to work.
Being at home is just as valuable!
This caller should be helping his family not completely financially supporting them. There are two adults in the house. They can do something to help themselves. Caller and his wife need to sit down with them and figure this out.
His wife should be able to stay at home with the kids considering he is making all that money. I think he is the problem.
Yeah yeah. She is absolutely not the problem.
@Monica I think his family trying to live off of him at times plats a huuuge role in this
His extended family is the problem
The exact same thing happened to me. My wife was off on maternity leave and I inherited around $150,000. She gave me every excuse why she couldn't go back to work until all of the money was gone and a line of crdit was maxed out at $90,000. The day the line of credit was maxed out she said I'm leaving. Little did I know she had it all set up with an older guy with lots of Money. Live and learn.
I totally agree with dave on this, the caller has a 2nd house which he uses to help support his mother, brother and niece (even though it is commendable to have a self sacrificing spirit) you can only help people if your in a position to help! The fact that he wants to have his wife work and pay for child care for their 2 yr old instead of selling the other house which he CAN'T afford ....definitely shows his priority aren't straight and im pretty sure if he sells it and his wife sees the change she get on board with tighten up the belt on her spending. the caller makes way more money than my husband and our mortgage was higher and i was able to stay home till my kids got older
OMG - uh, sell the extra house, cut off family charity, and realize that daycare oftentimes costs more than mom can make if she goes back to work. No one can take care of your kids like you do!!
Isha Locke so true. Looking after your own kids is better for the family
My dad never made more than 46k and raised with 9 kids bless him.
Men don't understand that women with kids have to do most of the household duties and take care of the children. Stop forcing them to work.
mikoda Exactly.
Whatever happened to gender equality and strong independent women? Shut up and get a job.
Mr.White- The point she is making is it wouldn't be equal. She would be working(like him) however, she would still be cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids etc. So, for the wife more is added to her workload, while the husbands stay the same.
obdiane then negotiate the household duties. No woman or man is entitled to no work just because.
A SINFUL Shop-aholic wife? Who cant handle 2 kids & a JOB?
My Mother & 2 Grandmothers would take Turns Slapping this Woman .
IM GLAD marriage rate is DOWN to unbelievable low numbers.
Child care is very expensive in Canada, especially since they are in a major city, so I hope she has good earning power or else half of her income will just be going to child care.
If not more than half
it hurts(guilt) to be the biggest earner in a poor family
Especially when they find out.
It does! and it really sucks.
She cares for 2 kids and a household and he makes 6 figure income and can't figure out how to live on that. Guys like this make me glad I am single lol. What a selfish jerk... lol he wants to cut off her TV and phone. I feel sorry for her. He is blaming it all on her. Unbelievable lol. He is supporting everyone except his wife.
Unbelievable!! "I want my wife to go back to work so that I can support my deadbeat family."
Stop judging folks! Making fun of someone in a bad financial situation is not cool at all. It doesn't matter how much you make, it's about living within your means and obviously, they have exceeded that and then some. Unfortunately, even if his wife returned to work, this wouldn't fix anything at all, it would probably make things worse. He needs to listen to Dave and take his advice seriously. Taking care of extended family is only good when you can take care of your own first.
Great advice Dave! Very compassionate but straight forward. I hope he gets it. I feel like it’s going through one ear and out the other.
"I called her this morning ". That says a lot, this is a face to face conversation.
if I made 120 I'd be laughing.
I would have my mortgage paid off in 3 yrs. and buy a second home / cottage.
Base line boy theres food health taxes clothing cable internet etc...............
harp per lol you must be young or not a home owner yet. in my situation if I made 120k a year I said what I say be true. easily I could put 30k a year towards my mortgage. I make no where near 120k and put in 15k total now. it's tough but I manage with strict budgeting.
lol..Internet mentioned, smallest bill to pay. my property tax is 360 a month. Healthcare is good in canada, benifits covered
Guilt and feelings of obligation throw us into debt all the time. Loans to friends/family who expect us to help them out and who never pay it back can put us under a rock, and paralyze us. It puts us in a position of demanding repayment, throwing them out of our house, or doing other things to resolve the problem is often unthinkable. It's not just the money, it's the position as the lender that makes things bad. People expect us to continue to do what we have been doing, and they rely on us to be their keeper. If you try to stop after awhile, there is outrage, blame, guilt and shaming. Tantrums, in other words. It is better not to start in the first place. My mother used to say, "If you start doing that, they will continue to expect you will do that." And we become fearful of the wrath of people who feel you have let them down after so long of holding them up. No appreciation for what you have already done much of the time.
If the tables were turned and the man was at home, nobody would be ragging on the woman.
“Ayeee”
“Ya kno”
“Nuthin”
😂😂😂 why are Canadians so awesome.
well if the wife doesn't want to support his family, just don't expect him to support yours.
He doesn't love his wife or child. He loves himself.
I would divorce take half 😂
OMG what is he complaining about?????????? making 120k?? did I hear this right? why would anyone want to work .. i thought he was going to say 20k a year and he was poor or something :/
He is poor, relative to his expenses. He's taking care of two families.
larrybud Which is one too many.
Husband says I think we should be a 2 income family. She replies, "What, your going to get a second job?"
Norman Wall --- classic
😂😂😂😂😂
This man is going to end the call and continue to blame his wife...
Smh
As well he should
A lot of commenters are missing a subtext. One strategy for maximizing a divorce settlement is to have the other person be the sole earner. This increases both maintenance and child support obligations, and increases the sympathy of the court towards other rewards... such as sole ownership of the marital residence.
Also:
If the brother is paying $750 / mo and does not get any equity in the house, then he is essentially paying the interest on the mortgage as his rent. 3% compounded monthly works out to $250 per $100k, or $750 / month on a $300k house. Meanwhile, the husband and wife are building equity in that house, and their biggest expenses will be RE taxes and maintenance. So I don't view that scenario to be as severe as stated in the video.
Be wary of any woman who outright refuses to work. It is a means to an end, and that won't end well for you.
I'm planning on going back to work as soon as my child is old enough to be left in a nursery - childcare fees would take up literally half my paycheck, but we need every penny right now.
I don't want to, I want to spend time with my baby, but my partner lost their job and now works in a pub so it's what I've got to do
It sounds like no matter how much this family earns, they will be in the same situation. They need to get on the same page and stop blaming each other. Start a budget at stick to it!
Dave is right. This isn't her problem. And yet...she isn't blameless. She contributed to the debt. It just doesn't sit right with me that she is refusing to help pay back at least part of that debt. And ALSO. She married the guy! She MUST have known how he was the "breadwinner child" of the family, the sibling who ends up contributing most when their parents and/or siblings haven't planned for the unexpected/made dumb choices. I'm sure Dave would argue that once you're married you cut ties and are now bound to your wife, etc, but in these cases it's a bit trickier.
She should go back to work because she contributed to the 200k debt they're in, she's even more lazy if there's no children at home or they're at school, just because he worked his ass off to get a decent job shouldn't mean she lives a life of luxury!
Straight talk is wonderful.
When my wife works, we spend less. When she doesn't work, we earn less. If I loose my job, we'll be on the streets beggin'. It really is that simple. At least we don't have kids, because I would hate to be one of those familes, we make fun of, with the 35 year old at home. Chld-Free, my friends.