The Worst Kind of Narcissistic Abuse

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  • Опубліковано 28 лют 2024
  • 🚨 Beware of This Narcissistic Abuse 🚨 Don't fall into the trap of reactive abuse! Narcissists manipulate their targets into believing they're the ones at fault. They'll use your reactions as proof that you're mentally unstable or not good enough. Don't let them control your reality! Free To live Your Best Life - Transmute fear to self-love. #NarcissisticAbuse #ReactiveAbuse #Manipulation #MentalHealthMatters #BreakTheCycle #StayStrong #Shorts

КОМЕНТАРІ • 264

  • @I-Am-Prosperous-I-Am-Grateful
    @I-Am-Prosperous-I-Am-Grateful Місяць тому +202

    Narcissist = your pain is their joy, your joy is their pain.

    • @ApocalypseofMichael
      @ApocalypseofMichael Місяць тому +10

      Sadism or schadenfreude. Type B cluster of personality disorders.

    • @kelseycoca
      @kelseycoca Місяць тому +5

      well said

    • @sanj198
      @sanj198 Місяць тому +4

      Got it very right.

    • @Narain2023
      @Narain2023 Місяць тому +3

      Damnn Yess

    • @Confessions089
      @Confessions089 Місяць тому +2

      Metallica- Sad but True. ✨️🩵💙

  • @emmarae4322
    @emmarae4322 Місяць тому +71

    They thrive on chaos.

  • @lou6574
    @lou6574 Місяць тому +127

    Being treated like this as an adult gives you cptsd and depression. Being treated like this as a chlld gives you deep seated low self esteem, feeling different, not being able to perceive reality properly. Basically they try and ruin you. But you have get rid of them and claw your way back out and heal

    • @dramenkaur
      @dramenkaur  Місяць тому +16

      Yes healing is absolutely essential as the brain functions differently and you will always feel like something keeps holding you back, until you heal in a step by step process to reclaim your full potential again x

    • @Dani-lc9hq
      @Dani-lc9hq Місяць тому +10

      Being treated like this as a child gives you cptsd and/or various disorders. As far as I know the foundation of cptsd is always childhood or early adolescence.

    • @lou6574
      @lou6574 Місяць тому +11

      @@Dani-lc9hq there's ptsd which is usually one off trauma caused by a traumatic event like war for both kids and adults. Cptsd is usually from a long term stress such as narcisisstic abuse. Which can manifest like brain fog, high stress, dementia like symptoms, depression, emotional regulation problems but can be healed.

    • @Dani-lc9hq
      @Dani-lc9hq Місяць тому +2

      @@lou6574 yes exactly! Ptsd you can get as an adult for sure from one time events, cptsd is always prolonged stress/abuse.
      I just found your first comment confusing since you said adults get cptsd and children "only" get the symptoms you mentioned.
      Like I said, from what I know cptsd primarily originates from childhood.

    • @PaigeSquared
      @PaigeSquared Місяць тому +15

      And when you know, you know. Many people just do not believe that some humans are willing to be this nasty.

  • @krisamico
    @krisamico Місяць тому +56

    One of the worst consequences of these abusive relationships is, over time, becoming abusive yourself.

    • @Ganeden999
      @Ganeden999 28 днів тому +4

      Not if you are calm. Reactive abuse stems from a lack of self control. Only irritable people react this way. My narc couldn't get much reaction out of me cause I'm too cool. 💁

    • @krisamico
      @krisamico 28 днів тому

      @@Ganeden999 Were I so cool and collected and aware, I’d have not even wasted any energy on her in the first place. They don’t pick cool people; they pick neurotics who will contort for their entertainment.

  • @paulbrittgarcia
    @paulbrittgarcia Місяць тому +97

    That's why I ANALYZE what they EXPECT MY REACTION to be and I react in the EXACT OPPOSITE!

    • @dramenkaur
      @dramenkaur  Місяць тому +23

      That’s brilliant 🤩. Confuse the ‘confuser’

    • @darora5798
      @darora5798 Місяць тому +8

      Incredible
      What a superpower you have
      Proud of you

    • @sensimania
      @sensimania Місяць тому +18

      Ignoring them is pretty much the opposite of any reaction they want

    • @TurbulantSynider
      @TurbulantSynider Місяць тому +14

      Ignoring is best. Stone cold ignore. Because they will fake any reaction as a reaction except ignore.

    • @godslittleprincess5454
      @godslittleprincess5454 Місяць тому +5

      Yup.

  • @magentapyramid9245
    @magentapyramid9245 Місяць тому +37

    The best thing to do when you have the misfortune of being around a narcissist is to leave.
    You can never go far enough away - but do your best and try.
    Shut them down and put your AirPods on. Crank the music.
    Do not get sucked in.
    Good luck.

  • @Terese.everyday
    @Terese.everyday Місяць тому +56

    😢 So they can feel superior !!! Yes they want control by belittleling you ... Sad people to be around😢

    • @dramenkaur
      @dramenkaur  Місяць тому +6

      💯

    • @leslie11177
      @leslie11177 Місяць тому

      They are demented and powerless creatures.

  • @farinaceaclover
    @farinaceaclover Місяць тому +72

    My father called me stupid, moron, idiot, pill, rotten kid, amongst other things my entire childhood. I lived in fear every day! Constant criticism, he companied about everything!!!! I could not be perfect enough! I am 57 and still trying to convince myself that he was wrong. It's not easy. In 1985 I left home, I was 19, moved to another city to get away. My father was a bully, but I couldn't run far enough away, the bully still lives in my head! He is gone but the bully still lives!!!

    • @shebakali6
      @shebakali6 Місяць тому +11

      There is some good online help. Dr. Les Carter, an expert on Narcissism has online therapy available, 🙏🏾

    • @dramenkaur
      @dramenkaur  Місяць тому +11

      Its so sad, and Im sorry for what you have been through. The brain is set up to repeat patterns, if you would like to learn more and understand this further, then please do watch the free masterclass I have. Also it would be good for you to find a therapist that you align with, there are great programs available. Find someone that you align with and start working through an online program or see someone face to face (whatever your preference). Please note I also have an online program that may help you. Please don't suffer in silence anymore.

    • @real_hello_kitty
      @real_hello_kitty Місяць тому +8

      You are not stupid, you are not moron. You are not rotten. You are not pill.

    • @malcolmwaddilove1822
      @malcolmwaddilove1822 Місяць тому +5

      Yes,they just turn up (in your head) when you least expect it, such is the damage they have caused!!!

    • @cheriem432
      @cheriem432 Місяць тому +7

      Might I recommend counseling? I didn't fully understand that my mother was a narcissist until I started with a therapist, then it all became clear. My whole life, I thought "If I only could be good enough, giver her enough presents, then she might love me." It was a pathetic way to live. Meanwhile my three brothers could do no harm. I finally asked the therapist flat out "Do you have a diagnosis for my mother?" she answered "Yes. She was a jealous narcissist." I felt believed for the first time in my life. I cannot recommend counseling enough.

  • @MissKim671
    @MissKim671 Місяць тому +28

    My mother. The ultimate Jezebel!

    • @MissKim671
      @MissKim671 28 днів тому

      @@singstreetcar5881 I did for nearly a year until I had a medical emergency.

    • @kathismith2865
      @kathismith2865 28 днів тому +2

      My own sister too.😈

    • @yiddena
      @yiddena 28 днів тому +2

      My sister

  • @PhunkyMunky10
    @PhunkyMunky10 26 днів тому +6

    I’ve been dealing with narcissists my whole life: my solution is to not play their game. My dad is a narcissist, and he might be sociopath too… so, I haven’t had a damn thing to do with him for going in 15 years now. He can rot in his own shit.

    • @user-vp7kn3js4x
      @user-vp7kn3js4x 12 днів тому +1

      And then he's got Hell to look forward to. I can relate. Both my ex parents are sadistic narcissists. 🤷‍♀️

  • @ellensunden2778
    @ellensunden2778 2 місяці тому +64

    This is my narc parents. My narc mom spent a few years screaming at me to "Shut Up! Go to Hell!" whenever I would attempt to speak in her presence. She would urinate outside of my bedroom door and then laugh when I would come out of my room and step in it. She would smear her feces on my food, my toothbrush, my bath towel. Narc mom has been weaponizing her diabetes against her family for decades now. She would say that she only had diabetic reactions if she was stressed out. Anything and everything I did as a child seemed to cause her to have a diabetic reaction, and I would always be punished. I didn't realize until I was an adult that she had been either faking diabetic reactions or purposefully allowing her blood sugar to drop and then have a reaction on purpose in order to control me through shame and guilt. In the past several years, narc mom has also been staging fake falls and fake medical emergencies for attention. Dad would just ignore her abuse and tell me that she had had a hard childhood and that I always need to be kind to her because of her traumatic past. To hell with them both.

    • @dramenkaur
      @dramenkaur  2 місяці тому +25

      I am so sorry that you experienced such trauma at a young age.

    • @gallardo360
      @gallardo360 Місяць тому +16

      run

    • @ChristopherMHeaps
      @ChristopherMHeaps Місяць тому +28

      Those are psychopaths

    • @annaburns2865
      @annaburns2865 Місяць тому +16

      Wow! And I thought I had it bad. Putting poop in things is too much. You should have taken that shit to the police. Literally!

    • @gracebe235
      @gracebe235 Місяць тому +8

      @@annaburns2865……Only bad thing about that would be that they would then put her in the care of child protective services…..which as we now know, does anything BUT protect the child. As awful as she had it, CPS can sometimes be even worse…..which would have just compounded her miseries.

  • @koolbeans8292
    @koolbeans8292 Місяць тому +14

    That is what my dad did to me over the years. Tease me until I reacted. But when it was not the reaction he wanted, he would say,
    "Just trying to get a "raise"out of you"
    The "raise"was the reaction that he could manipulate me with.

    • @dramenkaur
      @dramenkaur  Місяць тому +5

      Shows they know what they’re doing. It’s great that you have this awareness, as you’re more in control then

  • @davidhynd4435
    @davidhynd4435 Місяць тому +12

    I left my covert NPD wife in November last year after 32 years of enduring her manipulation and abuse. It is such an evil and cruel disorder. At one point, she tormented me for weeks until became distraught and left the house in a rage. I quickly walked well away from the house, but when I turned around she was right behind me. She asked what was wrong (as if she didn't know), but then preceded to invalidate everything that I raised. I now understand that she never intended to be there to comfort me, but to bask in the results of her handiwork and soak up the supply. How evil is that.

  • @jrr2045
    @jrr2045 Місяць тому +17

    My ex is so good at this, he turned our couples therapists into his flying monkeys twice.
    The second time it happened, I got absolutely terrified. His abuse had escalated and he had r*#ed me.
    And I demanded we tell the therapist (hoping she'd finally be like 'ok he's the mentally ill one, not you, you should run!) But he made her feel bad for HIM? And she called me, and told me he needed more empathy from me. He needed my help to remember emotionally charged content, like, things that had upset me. Because he just tends to forget anything that has to do with (my) feelings apparently.
    So she suggested we have a r*#pe memorial day every couple of months, so he wouldn't FORGET that it's harmful and illegal to do that.
    Let's just say that I was shaking with terror and rage at this moment..
    And I told her I was disappointed in her as a therapist and that I was never coming back.
    I left him too btw. She's still his therapist. And according to her, I'm the abuser!?? 😮

    • @dramenkaur
      @dramenkaur  Місяць тому +9

      They are very good and turning therapists (that do not understand narcissism) into flying monkeys. Its important to find people who understand narcissism

    • @hollymerchant9550
      @hollymerchant9550 29 днів тому +2

      Our therapist told me, I was the strongest person he had ever known!

    • @NavdeepThakur88
      @NavdeepThakur88 27 днів тому +3

      It could be that they were seeing each other. Who knows!

  • @jeffreyoneill6439
    @jeffreyoneill6439 Місяць тому +12

    She tried for twenty years but I was too strong. The pain was indescribable. But the pleasure of leaving and watching her squirm was not quite equal to the destructiohn she caused in my life. Travelled from the West coast of America to the East coast and Canada from North to South to destroy my name to any friend I had ever had. She succeeded. Not a frIend left from that hateful womans revenge
    But I wone in the end. Thirty three year on I am very happily married to the woman of my dreams.
    Please don’t give up, but it will unbelievably hard.
    My great love to you all.

  • @robertmooney8858
    @robertmooney8858 2 місяці тому +33

    Someone I thought was a friend

    • @dramenkaur
      @dramenkaur  2 місяці тому +6

      I’m so sorry that you went through that

    • @privateprivate8366
      @privateprivate8366 Місяць тому +5

      Same.

    • @annaburns2865
      @annaburns2865 Місяць тому +8

      Yep, that’s when it hurts the most. It’s easy to get rid of people who aren’t close to you. Much harder when it’s family and friends.

  • @GK-qc5ry
    @GK-qc5ry Місяць тому +11

    This is exactly what I'm experiencing. When I argue back I get told I'm mentally ill or I have depression and should go see a doctor to get pills. And you're right, you feel after like you overreacted.

    • @dramenkaur
      @dramenkaur  Місяць тому +3

      It’s so tough and then we feel like there’s something wrong with us if we get help to heal the trauma that they’ve created. Crazy making stuff!

  • @pathfinder_official1526
    @pathfinder_official1526 Місяць тому +18

    Someone I thought was a brother

    • @dramenkaur
      @dramenkaur  Місяць тому +2

      I’m sorry you experienced this.

  • @loris4814
    @loris4814 Місяць тому +31

    I had 2 of them abusing me . I had to get them out of my home . They wanted me gone for my house, a very hard pill to swallow .

    • @dramenkaur
      @dramenkaur  Місяць тому +2

      It is so tough ❤️

    • @ihtd23
      @ihtd23 Місяць тому +1

      So sorry ♥️

    • @gracebe235
      @gracebe235 Місяць тому +1

      @loris4814…..Yeah, I’m going through that now.

  • @gallardo360
    @gallardo360 Місяць тому +30

    this is everyday with my narc wife. I try very hard not to react to her. thanks for reminding me I'm not crazy

  • @ijustwannabeadrummer
    @ijustwannabeadrummer Місяць тому +8

    Thats what i’m dealing with. 😡 She will say i’m being a woman or too sensitive and attack my masculinity. Then when i get angry she turns into a victim. Then get her daughter to parrot I’m crazy.

  • @user-dk2ik7rt4f
    @user-dk2ik7rt4f Місяць тому +21

    Omgosh that is SO EVIL!! Gaslighting x 10.

  • @redfritz3356
    @redfritz3356 Місяць тому +23

    All of this is more like intimidation and slander that are actually crimes. Not just rude behaviour.

    • @dramenkaur
      @dramenkaur  Місяць тому +9

      Yes this type of toxic behaviour is controlling

    • @annaburns2865
      @annaburns2865 Місяць тому

      Yes, it is a crime. I still don’t understand why nothing is being done about it. I guess because to accuse someone of a crime, you have the burden of proof. You know, “innocent until proven guilty.” And psychological and emotional abuse are not easy to prove as they are invisible. 🫥

    • @MaryDunford
      @MaryDunford Місяць тому +8

      Tell that to the police. Unless you keep extensive records, and invest the time, money, and other strategies to ensure you're heard they will literally write it off. Or worse. I lost all respect for most police officers because of this. At least, this is how it is in Canada.
      Just living your life shouldn't be a battlefield. Seriously.

    • @redfritz3356
      @redfritz3356 Місяць тому +4

      @@MaryDunford Unfortunately it's true. I reported some dodgy behaviour of the executor of the deceased estate of my late mother to the relevant authorities and had zero response. They don't even care about their own laws here in South Africa. You as an individual must solve a case before going to the police.

  • @blue_moon6490
    @blue_moon6490 27 днів тому +3

    No, the worst kind of narcissist abuse is parental alienation! 💯

    • @dramenkaur
      @dramenkaur  27 днів тому +1

      Yes - this also is a form of parental alienation, where they use the children as a way of hurting us. I am so sorry that is happening to you.

    • @blue_moon6490
      @blue_moon6490 27 днів тому

      @@dramenkaur , it’s not me I am worried about. It’s my daughter and now my innocent 7 month old granddaughter. Parental alienation tends to become a generational pattern.

  • @Onceinalifetimelady
    @Onceinalifetimelady 29 днів тому +4

    Don’t let guilt and shame run you back…. That was my first mistake.

  • @alimccreery755
    @alimccreery755 Місяць тому +11

    Exactly what happened to me. I finally got away from all the narcissist in my life and the toxic people, I went completely no contact. They almost succeeded, two of the narcissists mentally and physically abused my little dog as well as myself. My little dog and two cats passed away. I’m slowly recovering and I need to say that the abuse towards me goes far back to my childhood, so I now have a better idea and understanding why and what makes me a target. I have a better understanding of how to protect myself and stay away from toxic invaders. These people think they destroyed me and who I am, my answer to that is NOT. So kissamyass 👍👍

  • @jt5792
    @jt5792 Місяць тому +12

    This hapoened to me with ex siblings,decades of attacks, cruelty, smear campaigns , threats, dehumanisation, horrendous truama. I got therapy and edmr for the cptsd, and time away because they were all terrified of covid...met my husband and tried to build a real life of my (and my sons ) choosing, i literally thought to myself, ok how would i be living if they all died ?(sounds dark but i had to really put myself in a headspace that they could have zero effect on me and my family, to unbrainwash myself). Next time i saw/spoke to them, they tried to triangulate my son against us, and when i stood up to them (calmly but assertively) because they were saying such horrid lies and cruel bullying, i got "what else were we supposed to do, you are xyz..." or i cant talk to you, to protect my mental health"...and called my parents the second i left to cry victim and have them bully us some more...the AUDACITY!!! I went no contact, had more therapy, wrote my parents that i would no longer except them shouting at us and treating us differently, gossiping enabling and being flying monkeys basically (not in those words, polite but firm) and went low contact, and compeltley no contact with ex siblings. They do not exist to me. Ones tried hoovering several times, and both keep trying my son as a doorway in to data gather...NOT HAPPENING.

    • @dramenkaur
      @dramenkaur  Місяць тому +2

      This is inspiring, you healed, got therapy because you knew you are worthy of creating the peace that you deserve.

    • @jt5792
      @jt5792 Місяць тому +3

      Thank you so much, thats a lovely way to describe it.​@dramenkaur i am chronically ill and disabled since childhood, so i really hope over time i will heal some more 🤞Lucky to have peace, love, contentment and beauty in my life now.

  • @LisaS1
    @LisaS1 Місяць тому +7

    Sounds just like what my sister and her tribe has done to me. Because of all their abuse I live far away and haven't seen any of them in 10 or more years. It still kind of hurts since I'm elderly now and mostly alone and I'd needed to be part of my own family. But I look at most of them and realize I don't much like them and don't really want to be included with them.

  • @aussieallstar66
    @aussieallstar66 27 днів тому +2

    They are so vicious. There is definitely something wrong with them. Playing mind games with me. Spell work to make me think well of them but it only lasts a short time before wearing off.

  • @user-xe3co5gj5h
    @user-xe3co5gj5h 28 днів тому +3

    My narc in laws wanted us to put our income in their madness and they would be in control of our bills
    They didn't even know my last name yet AND TOLD THE WORLD HOW WE ARE GREEDY

  • @dougbenton8767
    @dougbenton8767 Місяць тому +20

    I’m sick of whatever this is this spell this voodoo this black magic whatever it is I’m sick of it

    • @dramenkaur
      @dramenkaur  Місяць тому +9

      It does feel like that. Its super tough. I am aiming to do another video about this. I hope that will help, it really does feel like.a spell, the brain can't move forward from, because of the confusion

    • @williessandwhich9725
      @williessandwhich9725 25 днів тому

      I can help you know what to call it, its Satan

  • @wallsign4575
    @wallsign4575 27 днів тому +3

    My ex-wife is a master at getting other people to do her bidding. She used them to target 🎯 me in this way.

    • @dramenkaur
      @dramenkaur  26 днів тому

      So sorry that you are experiencing this.

  • @PaigeSquared
    @PaigeSquared Місяць тому +11

    I grew up in a system where my mom did this to me. So i could be the identified patient instead of her. I went into relationships where this happened to me, as an adult. It took four repetition compulsion cycles before i was able to see the similarities between past abusers, and my mother.
    It took decades before i learned that the comminication patterns are toxic and dangerous no matter who uses them. The repetition compulsion was like training, absolute hell, but i could have never seen it in my mother if i wasnt challenged in that exact way.
    Now i can see how i was intentionally kept small, my entire life. How insidious my immediate family is, even if the others do not know what they are doing in supporting her.
    The case with Gabby (is it Perillo?? I dont remember her name) the news was speculating and on the DV support boards, all the women already knew. We all identified EXACTLY what happened when the cops pulled them over, and gabby was distraught but her boyfriend was calm. We have lived that before.
    It is extremely damaging and dangerous. I'm still not fully out of it. But i finally have motivation within the depression, to get the hell away from anyone willing to pull this kind of crap.
    It does seem as if people who dish out reactive abuse believe if a person falls for it, then the person deserves it. Which is so far from the truth.

    • @engleharddinglefester4285
      @engleharddinglefester4285 Місяць тому +4

      Petito. Horrible case. Beautiful young lady with her whole life ahead of her.

    • @dramenkaur
      @dramenkaur  Місяць тому +7

      Thank you for sharing your experiences so openly. Recognizing the patterns of toxicity in relationships, especially with close family, is incredibly challenging and requires immense courage. It's heartbreaking to hear how these patterns have echoed throughout your life, but your awareness and articulation of them are great steps toward healing.
      It's important to remember that you are not alone in this journey. Many find themselves in similar cycles, and it's only through speaking out and sharing our stories, like you have done, that we can begin to break these cycles. No one deserves to be diminished or manipulated, and the feelings you’re grappling with are valid and understood by many. Sending you love and healing

    • @PaigeSquared
      @PaigeSquared Місяць тому

      @@engleharddinglefester4285 that is it! God my heart was struggling for her and her family!!
      I knew the moment I saw the case on the news, that it was a situation of reactive abuse. I was still freshly out so I tried to avoid the news as more information was released. I didn't want to randomly start crying, people already were suspecting that I was nuts. I remember being on online forums, vs general social media; social media was speculative and trying to leave it open ended, not paint the guy in a preemptively bad light. But in those forums, those women knew, and they were right.
      I learned a lot about the phenomenon of survivors not wanting to believe themselves and how that affects the response and support they receive, that year.

    • @MystiCool33
      @MystiCool33 Місяць тому +1

      Thank you. Your story resonates with mine. My heart aches for your pain but you are strong and that is a gift that will inspire many.

  • @pratikdomadiya9689
    @pratikdomadiya9689 27 днів тому +1

    I don't know how but they are able to make us believe that we are a problem and Not Them.
    They not only convince other but also us to believe that we have done something wrong.

    • @dramenkaur
      @dramenkaur  26 днів тому

      Yes - but its important to see the Truth

  • @user-jt7qr5yt6f
    @user-jt7qr5yt6f 28 днів тому +1

    Where your body runs off then the brain connects

  • @davidgentz1731
    @davidgentz1731 29 днів тому +3

    The thing I recognized in narcissist is they'll build you up and maybe say boy that's a nice looking jacket your hair looks nice but you're really overweight that's the kick in the balls they set you up and then they kick you right in the nuts

    • @dramenkaur
      @dramenkaur  29 днів тому +2

      Yes - they are skilled at undermining

  • @camarorules1
    @camarorules1 Місяць тому +3

    My situation exactly!
    From my daughter, i believe she would wish me dead!
    But how on Gods earth do i unlove my grandkids???
    God help me please

    • @dramenkaur
      @dramenkaur  Місяць тому

      Its so hard when they use children. Its worth getting therapy so you can find peace within.

  • @marilynb2643
    @marilynb2643 27 днів тому +3

    That bends your brain to constantly try and argue against their immature and irrational behavior inside your own mind ... just crazy stuff

    • @dramenkaur
      @dramenkaur  26 днів тому +1

      Yes - its important to see it so you can take back control

    • @marilynb2643
      @marilynb2643 26 днів тому +1

      @@dramenkaur it's a long road out of hell especially after years and years being totally sucked in emotionally, financially etc ...but knowing how huge this is and how many people suffered the same makes it much more easy to deal with and heal ultimately become free again winning yourself back ... Thank You ✌️🌟👑

  • @ladycj6345
    @ladycj6345 27 днів тому +1

    You are SO on point about their reverse psychology!!💯

    • @dramenkaur
      @dramenkaur  27 днів тому +1

      Yes they reverse everything back on us and they are so fast at doing it.

  • @CHT420
    @CHT420 Місяць тому +4

    My mother😭she used to tell me she hated me especially when I was young, older too but younger hurt more. She wanted us girls(4) to be “perfect” she put on a facade. Not everything was bad but mostly.

    • @dramenkaur
      @dramenkaur  Місяць тому +1

      Thats so sad, I am sorry that you went through that, but you deserve to be loved now, so lots of Self Love, Compassion & Understanding & Healing for yourself now that you can.

  • @cynthiacassel
    @cynthiacassel 27 днів тому +1

    I would love to get away from this despicable company. That’s pretty much it for me. Since 2019 it’s nothing but weird nonsense every day. Thank Gid for the time I have away from lights, camera action bullshit.

    • @dramenkaur
      @dramenkaur  27 днів тому

      Its so tough to manage being around a narcissist

  • @BonnieNickle-xf1jm
    @BonnieNickle-xf1jm Місяць тому +4

    I had friend that was trafficked by a narcissist,stock holm syndrome was probably in play as well. She struggles every day, I am proud of her.

    • @dramenkaur
      @dramenkaur  Місяць тому +1

      Its so tough, its great you are understanding. I hope she is in therapy.

  • @drewbart1886
    @drewbart1886 29 днів тому +1

    Don’t react. Wait until it’s dark. When it’s quiet. When they are alone and don’t have an audience to manipulate and hide behind. Wait until you have a clean opening. Then ACT

  • @marianneodell7637
    @marianneodell7637 29 днів тому +5

    Is this something they do CONSCIOUSLY? Both my mother AND my ex husband did this to me.

    • @dramenkaur
      @dramenkaur  29 днів тому +2

      They have some awareness because they change and adapt if other people are watching. It’s an automatic response and it’s part of the personality disorder and they have a lack of awareness of how their actions impact others everything is about protecting their own self and their own image.

  • @lishik7712
    @lishik7712 Місяць тому +3

    My mother hen she moved onto my oldest sibling, then the next oldest, then me. The way she slandered us all when she was the truly mentally ill one.

    • @dramenkaur
      @dramenkaur  29 днів тому

      It is so sad to experience this from a mother

  • @saturn0152
    @saturn0152 22 дні тому +1

    Hey my dad used to call me ugly in front of everyone, strangers, and family. And a lot more hurting stuffs he used to say. I must say there was no pampering or tenderness in our bond.

    • @dramenkaur
      @dramenkaur  22 дні тому +2

      I’m sorry you heard such hurtful comments - please look in the mirror daily after brushing your teeth and say “hey beautiful”

  • @aramisy.cajigas744
    @aramisy.cajigas744 Місяць тому +9

    They create your trauma. Or use past traumas by bringing them back and re-traumatize you. Sad.
    My wife is doing that to me. But I'm too wise not to see it.

    • @dramenkaur
      @dramenkaur  Місяць тому

      I am glad that you are aware. It's so important

  • @interestingtimes6242
    @interestingtimes6242 Місяць тому +4

    Exactly. Thanks mom, at 66 years old, still climbing out of the mess you left. I know you birthed me and raised me, I appreciate that, but I didn’t deserve this. Well, actually the black eye rages where she was hitting me and my brother while screaming derogatory insults at the top of her voice filled with cutting anger were the worst.

    • @dramenkaur
      @dramenkaur  Місяць тому +1

      So sorry that you experienced this

    • @interestingtimes6242
      @interestingtimes6242 Місяць тому

      @@dramenkaur Thank you, I appreciate that. Thank you for educating people about this. It makes a difference.

    • @leslie11177
      @leslie11177 Місяць тому

      People like that have children for the purpose of abusing them. Normal humans with compassion are incapable of such atrocities.

  • @scleo1959
    @scleo1959 Місяць тому +4

    You make such excellent points. I survived this abuse thankfully.

  • @michele_michele
    @michele_michele Місяць тому +2

    This is really fantastic. I'm sending it to my client, whose situation you've just described to a T.

    • @dramenkaur
      @dramenkaur  Місяць тому

      I am glad that it will help one of your clients

  • @lynnienorris5776
    @lynnienorris5776 27 днів тому +1

    It All Sucks...

  • @richellepeace4457
    @richellepeace4457 Місяць тому +8

    Demons in meat suits....

  • @muma6559
    @muma6559 Місяць тому +3

    Flying monkeys can be worse than the narc, so they too end up feeling extremely guilty too for the evil perpetrated, or for joining in, in the abuse

    • @dramenkaur
      @dramenkaur  29 днів тому +2

      Flying monkeys cause so much harm

  • @Saoussennelina
    @Saoussennelina 25 днів тому +1

    This is so accurate

  • @TheBaumcm
    @TheBaumcm Місяць тому

    Two words, one name: Betty Broderick. Should be a cautionary tale for all narcissists. Put her husband through medical and law school. He booted her for a younger model when she could no longer maintain her appearance in a manner fitting for him, and left her penniless. Took the kids and turned them against her. She then called him and left crazy voice mails. Eventually, she took both him and his new model out.

  • @AmethystEmpressDivineTarot6589
    @AmethystEmpressDivineTarot6589 Місяць тому +3

    🔔 🔔 🔔
    It worked. Been out 2 years and still discovering symptoms 😢

  • @ApocalypseofMichael
    @ApocalypseofMichael Місяць тому +3

    Sadism or schadenfreude. Type B cluster of personality disorders.

  • @malcolmwaddilove1822
    @malcolmwaddilove1822 Місяць тому +3

    That's exactly what happened, I flipped!!! But never since now I'm educated❤

  • @ramji7zs781
    @ramji7zs781 28 днів тому +1

    Unless some Super Empath breaks that !!
    I have given immense love and respect and care for her but finally she is a narcissist!!
    It's her upbringing that made her like this !!
    I don't want to blame anyone on this !!
    I am working on a very deep subject on this on how to remove narcissism traits on people !!
    It will take time but i one day will resolve this one !!

  • @mariafemarquezdeguia4431
    @mariafemarquezdeguia4431 29 днів тому +1

    So true!

  • @EmpressAshe
    @EmpressAshe 24 дні тому +1

    My Whole childhood and teenage life

    • @dramenkaur
      @dramenkaur  24 дні тому

      so sorry that you went through that

  • @scorpiosol6234
    @scorpiosol6234 Місяць тому +5

    The best explanation I’ve seen! Thank you

  • @ArtEssay70
    @ArtEssay70 29 днів тому +2

    I fell in love with her hard and became entangled and could not escape before i realized what a narcissist was. The guilt, the shame, the emasculation, the demoralization. The up and ending it a thousand times, coming back for a and one. I didn't even love myself anymore from being so damn brainwashed into believing in the only one making all of the mistakes. Constant fighting. I'm constantly defending myself. Unsuccessfully too. I thought too myself that she must be stupid as F*** to not listen and realize she was in the when i explained. It always fell on deaf ears. Now, i've lost myself. I feel trapped. I don't know what to do. I'm so dependent on her now. The emptiness inside of me after these last 6 years had taken it's toll.
    I'm paralyzed.

    • @dramenkaur
      @dramenkaur  28 днів тому +3

      Learning to release the shame and guilt is important, as this does paralyse us from moving forward. Its like an invisible barrier. Please also start cultivating self love, as after narcissistic trauma there is a deficiency of self worth and self love.

  • @coppermoon4747
    @coppermoon4747 29 днів тому +3

    Self defense isn't abuse.

  • @dwainseppala4469
    @dwainseppala4469 27 днів тому +1

    Bingo! Thank you.

  • @user-qm4lu2ul5j
    @user-qm4lu2ul5j Місяць тому +1

    Their game plan had a huge whole ....I saw it before they made their first move... alchemist...earth angel ,,I have abundance...no restriction.
    Very patient person dealing with bad neighbours.

  • @muma6559
    @muma6559 Місяць тому

    "and they use other people to help them target the victim.... "

    • @muma6559
      @muma6559 Місяць тому

      These people are called flying monkeys

  • @USGovIsDistributingCSAM
    @USGovIsDistributingCSAM Місяць тому +1

    Yeah. my narcissist is a hacker and a threat to children. They used gross media to induce psychological distress terror.

  • @HomeFrendsten
    @HomeFrendsten Місяць тому +2

    True narcsts are criminals

  • @Safestreet
    @Safestreet 23 дні тому +1

    This is true

  • @martinfitzpatrick8533
    @martinfitzpatrick8533 Місяць тому +2

    Thanks. Your right on the money on all you said. Martin.

  • @cynthiacassel
    @cynthiacassel 21 день тому +1

    I don’t have any feeling of guilt or shame. I’m going out to cut my grass.

  • @jackaroyan2451
    @jackaroyan2451 28 днів тому +1

    Can agree with this 100% due to the fact we're going through the exact same scenario right at this moment and have been for a long time noticeably a year having paid attention.

  • @DisEnchantedPersons
    @DisEnchantedPersons Місяць тому +4

    Sounds like the American government

  • @nicholecornes1915
    @nicholecornes1915 27 днів тому +1

    All of it!

  • @johnnytoronto1066
    @johnnytoronto1066 29 днів тому +1

    Yup. Absolutely my experience.

  • @greendrake2938
    @greendrake2938 Місяць тому +2

    Yup there useing my kids and brother

    • @dramenkaur
      @dramenkaur  Місяць тому

      Its tough when they use kids. I'm sorry that you are going through this.

  • @calebantrim3071
    @calebantrim3071 6 днів тому +1

    My wife did this exact thing to me.

    • @dramenkaur
      @dramenkaur  3 дні тому +1

      It's tough but can be reassuring once we realise what they are doing

    • @calebantrim3071
      @calebantrim3071 3 дні тому +1

      @@dramenkaur thank you

  • @zeinmohamedali320
    @zeinmohamedali320 16 днів тому +1

    Today people in my neighborhood think am mentally unstable. My younger sister brought her then narc co worker to live with mum and me in our family home. That is when the nightmare began. Mum passed on four years ago the abuse got worse because my sister joined him. He has degraded me in so many ways and even been violent. She too abuses me saying the house stinks because of. me. They treat me like am garbage locking the bedroom when am around and passing nasty comments. 😢😢 Can't speak up because he has been so charming and helpful to neighbors and people in community I would be called a luar. Besides as narc targets you are already slandered in the most devious way made out to be a monster. Today withdrawal has become my refuge and people find me cold proud bitchy because don't want to talk to anyone self isolation so much depression today while the narc and his enabler having good time

    • @dramenkaur
      @dramenkaur  16 днів тому

      Yes they are so charming, but we don't have to live in fear. There is a community of people that understand the truth.

  • @michellehamner6024
    @michellehamner6024 29 днів тому +1

    My ex narcissist always told me I have trauma I need to heal from. This coming from a jerk who has sexually assaulted women.

    • @dramenkaur
      @dramenkaur  29 днів тому +1

      So they create trauma and blame others for becoming triggered from trauma! Crazy making stuff right?!

    • @michellehamner6024
      @michellehamner6024 29 днів тому

      @@dramenkaur he was a truly crappy person and everyone thinks he's so great

  • @elyzsabethahne2116
    @elyzsabethahne2116 21 день тому +1

    My mother did this to me.

  • @fabiankaufmann6213
    @fabiankaufmann6213 24 дні тому +1

    Ah that is the cause of this painfull split in my head/thinking. One part believes the lies myself. How can you clear yourself?

    • @dramenkaur
      @dramenkaur  24 дні тому +1

      I recommend trauma therapy with a therapist that understands narcissistic trauma.

  • @robertaweissmannagy9298
    @robertaweissmannagy9298 24 дні тому +1

    oooooooo...odrasla sam uz jednu.......

  • @leocampa6230
    @leocampa6230 Місяць тому +1

    I used to care about my sister in law till she tried this on me.

  • @ihtd23
    @ihtd23 Місяць тому +5

    DARVO

  • @lisalambert81865
    @lisalambert81865 26 днів тому +1

    A narcissist can use reactive abuse to make you look like the narcissist or abuser. If they watch these types of videos and learn how to use all this knowledge against you. It one big mind fuckery.

  • @scotthenry-hs2po
    @scotthenry-hs2po Місяць тому +2

    My X wife .

  • @im_noToKa
    @im_noToKa Місяць тому +3

    ** reaction To abuse

  • @dougbenton8767
    @dougbenton8767 Місяць тому +1

    All of this has been a huge waste of my time

  • @annaburns2865
    @annaburns2865 Місяць тому +1

    The one that you can’t see?

  • @createdbyjhp3987
    @createdbyjhp3987 29 днів тому +1

    This is gaslighting.

  • @calebantrim3071
    @calebantrim3071 28 днів тому +2

    Wow. This is exactly what my ex-wife did to me. I could not have articulated it better than this. In fact, I don’t think I fully understood, though I knew she was abusive.

    • @dramenkaur
      @dramenkaur  28 днів тому +1

      I'm glad this has helped

  • @ChristopherMHeaps
    @ChristopherMHeaps Місяць тому +1

    Barry

  • @GodHelpMe369
    @GodHelpMe369 23 дні тому +1

    My Dear Bryan,
    I can't write to you directly.
    You abandoned and betrayed me; replaced me.
    There's no contact between us anymore.
    You're long gone and our friendship is long over.
    You went from being my best friend,
    to being someone who deeply-profoundly traumatized me.
    On a soul level,
    you raped me.
    You're much worse than an enemy.
    Much-much worse.
    You're a stranger now.
    And I could weep endlessly, as I type this.
    My soul, she silently wails, for the loss of you,
    and for the hell that you've put me through.
    And because I can't write to you,
    I leave this comment here.
    I don't know what else to do.
    I'm lost and alone.
    With not a soul to talk to.
    Is it true?
    Did we come here together
    with some sort of soul contract?
    Is this just some fucked up, karmic bullshit?
    Do we have different relationships to one another,
    in parallel/past/future lives?
    Or is this story far more simple?
    Am I still just the little abused and bullied girl, with zero self esteem,
    who fell for the covertly-abusive man, offering little more than breadcrumbs?
    (* What's really hard for abuse victims to recognize:
    is when they're being abused!)
    Anyway,
    Either way,
    we end up in the same place.
    You:
    off making your wildest dreams come true, with my replacement.
    Me:
    traumatized broken-hearted, in agony.
    What fairness is this?
    Where is the justice?
    Where is God in all of this?

  • @heatherbowman9450
    @heatherbowman9450 Місяць тому +2

    413 likes💚💖💝❤

  • @mailstop4
    @mailstop4 Місяць тому +3

    physical abuse

    • @user-sb2dd7xf7j
      @user-sb2dd7xf7j Місяць тому

      These tactics are psycho narc games to stir you up, to make you react and then record you or have some witness around to back their agenda, have a witness or use children and use parental alienation to get them on their side. It is cruel and sadistic. The family is completely in a mess via daily emotional abuse tactics. The aim is to hurt, destroy, discard, humiliate and record to show others, police, family members, you are crazy and they are the victim. The aim is to win whatever the price, you losing all, children, dignity and they want to replace by somebody else (usually they have double life, mistresses to slowly surly replace you ) or get rid of you to gain more ( property, children etc) via money for their attorney to back their recorded pre-planned agenda. This abuse should be criminalised. As physical as emotional abuse on this level.