Wedding Traditions that Are Perfectly Fine to Skip (If You Want)
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- Опубліковано 5 сер 2024
- Wedding Traditions that Are Perfectly Fine to Skip (If You Want). Different traditions that people likely won't miss that you can skip for your day.
I'm a wedding film photographer based in San Diego, serving worldwide. My passion is educating couples on all things related to wedding photography, including plans you might not think impact photos but do! My work has been published on Style Me Pretty, Magnolia Rouge, Wedding Sparrow, 100 Layer Cake, Ruffled, and more!
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This was basically a list of things I don't want to do at my wedding, and you just solidified my choices! I will send this to my mom and everyone else who disagrees now... haha!
haha, I hope it helps them understand!
Same here. So useful
We're still doing favors bc they're succulents and that means I can just take them home LOL. #masterplan
hahahah
Adding to your last point about walking down the aisle: In German weddings there is a tradition that the first look happens right before you go into the church and then the couple walks down the aisle together. I think that is really nice :)
OH that's so cute!!
I’m a huge fan of this idea!!!
Thanks for mentioning the bouquet tossing! I think it's fun when you're 16. Not so much anymore when you're 28 oder 35 and everybody already keeps on asking when you will finally have a boyfriend.
If I marry one day, I will definitely skip a lot of traditions :D
Hah, yes definitely a lot less "fun" when your crowd is not college age. It becomes more embarrassing and pressuring than enjoyable for many people as they age.
The freaking garter toss! I've seen some groomsmen or single men start sniffing the garter or just generally being really inappropriate
ewwwww
I really love this video! My Fiancé and I are not doing MOST of these things and it's always nice to have an opinion that agrees with us because my LORD our parents don't understand that haha.
I am so glad you are sticking to your preferences despite your families not understanding. You'll be so glad you did!
Thank you! I'm the first in my group of friends to get married and I was unsure if it was ok to cut some traditions so THANK YOU!
You're so welcome!!
I want a non traditional wedding. But some of these I didn’t think about. Looks like I’ll be skipping more things
:)
I love your videos and ur style. Thank you so much for all the valuable info.
You're so welcome!
Love this!!! 💕
so glad!
The tradition of not seeing each other before the wedding is also why veils are a traditional bridal garment. So the groom could not see your the bride’s face until after they were legally wed.
FAVORS. Amen! I think I stressed so much about that and I think we gave a good ol' party anyway. :)
hahaha yes!!
I'm having a summer wedding. The ceremony will be outside. I wanted favors that people would actually like, so we are making cute fans and on the handle we are tying a mesh goody bag with a mosquito repellant bracelet and travel size sunscreen :)
Sounds great!
We are having bombonieres “favours”, the only tradition we are keeping in regards to the fact it only cost $66 AU to make up and it keeps the old traditional Italian folk in my family happy. 😂
We aren’t doing the tosses at all. It’s just to much time and I prefer to just dance around and have a good time with family that have travelled from all over Australia just to be there.
I think I might do the silent cake cutting. Thanks for that great idea.
The other thing about seeing your partner before the ceremony is that you have time to take photos beforehand that way you don't have to spend 4hrs away from the party getting photos with each other and your bridal party you can do that before the guests arrive
Very true! I cover this in my first look pros and cons video ;)
Thank you for making this video! When my husband and I were planning our wedding, I mentioned to a sales lady that we were skipping the garter toss, and she responded with a "ohhh, your wedding isn't very traditional then". Unnecessarily judgemental. My husband and I didn't feel comfortable doing a garter toss, and our cultural backgrounds would actually make it unacceptable at a wedding.
Eww, I hate judgmental remarks like that. I got a few about my wedding not having a ceremony and always wondered why they cared so much (especially since they were strangers who wouldn't be going anyway).
Whew felt a bit guilty for not preparing favors. Thanks for this video!!
You're so welcome!
Wow! That tradition about not seeing each other until the ceremony!
It's awful, right!?
Were does the garter toss tradition come from? That's what I would like to know. No way am I doing that!
I'm too scared to look it up lol
Just in case you didn’t look it up, I googled and this is what it came back with.
-England- The Garter Toss
This tradition originated in England and France in the 14th centuries, Guests would try to obtain a piece of the bride's dress for good luck, which often left the bride nervous and tense throughout the entire ceremony in anticipation of her dress being ripped to shreds by the eager mob of wedding guests.
Oh and this part I found interesting- Crowds of guests became so bawdy that they'd often follow the couple to their marital bed, ripping at their clothes as a form of “encouragement.” And so, the bride and groom started tossing the bouquet and the garters that held up the bride's stockings as a way to appease the crowd.
I just copied a couple from google.
Jess Semola I thought the origin of the garter related to something along the lines of, Him going under her dress to retrieve the garter symbolized him having the right to sleep with her. I thought the tradition started because a long time ago it was more common for people to wait to have sex till marriage.
Echo Wall - well that's what came up in Google. Look all traditions mean different things to different people and cultures or they could all mean the same thing. It's down to the person/s at the end of the day.
I didn't read to much into it, but all I know is I won't be doing it at our wedding in 2 weeks because it's very uncomfortable for both off us and we both have our 3 little boys. So it kinda doesn't imply to is then I guess. Lol.
Kinda Interesting though so thanks for the extra information.
@@echowall5967 no no no…. It’s a luck thing.
Thank you for explaining why some women don't enjoy the bouquet toss. I was one of those single ladies who was embarrassed into doing it, and now I won't be doing it at my wedding. 1)its awkward, 2) there's lots of other fun things we could be doing 3) sometimes ex bfs are at the reception and it makes it all feel weird....
This is why I want to see it phase out as such a common tradition; it makes a lot of people very uncomfortable to highlight their "singleness."
Thanks! I’m thinking about not even having a cake at all.. I’m not really a cake person and it just seems like such an unnecessary expense.
If you're not a cake fan, totally skip it! Have whatever desserts or savory bites you love :)
Loved this video! What do you think about the many traditions surrounding pre-wedding events like showers, bachelorette/bachelor, engagement party, stag and doe etc? I always find the pre-wedding events as a guest to be exhausting, time consuming, and expensive. Is there a way for couples to celebrate in advance without such a drain on their guests?
We didn't do any of those except my husband went on a bachelor trip. Nobody offered to throw any events for us and most guests and friends were East Coast so it wouldn't have made sense. My girls asked about a bach trip but I didn't want to make anybody buy a plane ticket for it since they would have to do that for the wedding. I totally would have loved a shower though (not for gifts, just to be able to celebrate). I think if you just let your family and bridal party know what you would/wouldn't want then you'll be good to go. Thankfully, I don't think anyone would miss any of the parties, especially since it'll save them money on gifts and travel lol.
I miss the reception line because once I traveled 19 hours to go to a cousin's wedding and I didn't get the opportunity to say hello to her or congratulations. The wedding was big.
Aw that's a bummer. Definitely a downside to having a huge guest count.
Any advice on how to get everyone on the dancefloor for the 'first dance'? Me and my husband to be don't want to just be swaying on the dance floor for 3-4 minutes like melons we want to get the party started right away with everyone! I'm worried that even if our DJ announces asking for everyone to join us that people will still just stand and watch because its tradition and they will not understand the DJs instructions... Any advice would be massively appreciated xx
That's a common issue I see. It's hard to get people to go dance even when the DJ/band tells them to. Two ideas come to mind: 1) Tell your bridal party that they are supposed to come out onto the dance floor at some point in your first dance. That'll be enough people to help others feel comfortable with the DJ announcement. OR 2) Do the anniversary dance, except for making everyone start and then leave the dance floor with each milestone (if you've been married for less than 5 years, leave...). Instead, you'll have the two of you there and then the DJ can tell people who've been married for less than a year, join the dance floor and then keep counting up. Then you'll have lots out there!
For the favors it really depends on the culture. I do think it should not be for every gues more of a grab and go favor.
I love traditions. I don’t care about the meanings behind them or why they started. I think traditions are good but I do like things that are different and out of the ordinary too.
How do you get clients to understand you need time for their portraits if they so busy at their wedding.
They trust me to create an ideal timeline for photos and I send that timeline to the planner months in advance. I pretty much always get the timeline I want for their photos now and it's awesome!
One thing that’s definitely traditional to do at weddings that my man and I are definitely n o t doing: religious stuff.
Like, the reasons why are hella long and specific and I won’t go into it, but it’s not accurate to us... but at the same time, having no mention of any religion IS going to offend some of our friends and family. 🤷♀️ idk, I feel like making everyone happy will be impossible, and it’s our day to do as we please. At least we’re not subjecting them all to watching us do a “sexy” garter retrieval like you described 🙈 yikes
Can you also skip the father-daughter and mother-son dance?
You can skip anything you want!!
Absolutely EVERYTHING stated here is what I am not going to do. Another thing...having a small cake for the bride & groom & cupcakes for everyone else. Why? Most wedding guests won't eat cake & it means there will be less plates & forks required. Another thing...no kids at my wedding. Why? So there isn't any kids crying during our ceremony video, so parents can just relax & have some adult time & not worry about changing diapers or having to chase kids around or kids sticking their fingers into the wedding cake, etc. I am a firm believer in doing what you want to do for your wedding. Don't let anyone pressure you into anything. The wedding is the first day of your marriage...allow it to be all about you. I mean, you wouldn't buy a house & let everyone tell you how to furnish & decorate it, right? Why would you let people tell you how to do your wedding? Love your videos, Cavin! I would like to see more samples of your photography.
Love this energy Autumn!
@@cavinelizabeth thanks. 😁
In regards to the cake part, that’s what my brother and new sister-in-law did. They had a small cake for them to cut and save for later and had a cute cake topper with cats on it. The dessert options for everyone were mini carrot cake cupcakes, brownie bites, cannoli, and macarons.
The tradition behind bouquet/garter toss is just as bad as the aisle tradition!!! We are skipping that for sure, I've never liked going out at weddings. I don't want to force people to at mine.
Garter toss is so weird and uncomfortable
It's one of the few things I truly am not a fan of at weddings.
Idk why or how the garter toss became a thing especially bc ppl are so weird with sex in the US it's taboo to talk about especially among families
I'm really comfortable talking about sex & being nude and I just think there is time and place it looks trashy to me
It's definitely a very forward activity for a wedding!
Isn't the superstition about bouquet tosses that the woman who catches it is the next one to get married? That's why I didn't want to participate in the bouquet toss. You do you, but I think marriage is a misogynistic institution and I certainly don't want to get married, quite happy with my life long boyfriend thank you very much. I was trying to lay low at the last boquet toss I went to until the bride spotted me and waved me over. I made sure to stay at the edge, didn't want to get caught in any fights over the boquet.
There is definitely a lot of pressure at weddings for "single" women to join the tosses. It can make some people very uncomfortable.