Anytime you feel like you have to shell out money for a tradition, ask yourself “why do I need this?” If the answer is just “because everyone else did”. You don’t need it!
I wish people felt this way about last names. I've known women to spend hundrends and thousands of dollars to change all their identifications and degrees to their husbands last name! I think its unfortunate how we are one of the few counties who practice this "tradition." Even women in places where we are taught are unfortunate to be a woman in (Iraq, Iran and Saudi Arabia), the women here do not change their last names.
@@simonejohnson3334 Thank you for saying this! I'm about to finish my Master's and will be applying for my PhD soon but my wedding is this year. It's also difficult for other scholars to follow your name if you have written published work! Some people want to keep their accomplishments in their family's name, which shouldn't be viewed as taboo.
@@simonejohnson3334 I second that! People--mostly family--look at me like I'm crazy when I tell them I have no intention of changing my last name when I get married. I like my name the way it is, plus it's a name that's not very common. I do have a unique situation because my one cousin-in-law (on my dad's side of the family) & I have the exact same 1st, middle, & last name since she changed her last name after she married my cousin so changing my last name would be "easier for everyone else" ...but being expected to change my last name just because "that's the tradition" is crazy. Of course, there's a lot of traditions that I just don't get ...
Thank you SO much! I want a dry wedding. I am an alcoholic and I have many family members who are. But, I’m getting so much flack for wanting a dry wedding. “It’s boring. No one will dance. No one will come”. Thank you for giving me permission to tell them no alcohol! *Got married 11/28/21 with a dry wedding and it was AMAZING. People danced. People enjoyed themselves. People who said they weren’t coming ended up coming and having fun! It’s your day, do what you want! ♥️♥️
I’m sorry you have people in your life who are discouraging your dry wedding idea. It is YOUR and YOUR SPOUSE’s day. Don’t do anything that would make you feel uncomfortable or give you anxiety. If people don’t come to your wedding because there is no alcohol then they are missing out and they aren’t your true friends. And bonus for you bc you are saving money! Every dollar that isn’t spent on alcohol or on a guest that won’t come bc there is no alcohol is just more money that you can put towards something you actually want at your wedding, honeymoon, or right back into your newlywed savings fund!! I don’t drink either but I am always the one living it up on the dance floor at every wedding! Cheers to you and your future spouse and I hope you have an amazing wedding!!❤️
Coffee,tea, fizzing water,punch, virgin cocktail, "charcoal coconut cream ice latte"(to counteract overdoing sugary sweets),frape/smoothie....there are other options so people won't go hungry or thirsty.Even if it's nice to have a glass of wine offered it's not a big deal to have a party without.You can go to dinner at a lot of homes... alcohol isn't the thing on the table,still feels special.Thanksgiving for instance? (Sometimes if you're sitting close to the bar it attracts a noisy crowd,it can be pleasant to mingle,sit,walk around /if you've got an outdoor area maybe? -as well as dance)It's not a bar party,so just make it elegant and beautiful the way you imagine including everyone.
If you're concerned about what people will think of a dry wedding (I would totally go to one btw, I dont drink either), then it may be a good idea to have a brunch wedding because most people wont even want to drink at that time of day
Other things that aren’t necessary: expensive invitations, favors, a limo, videographer, an expensive outfit, bridal party outfits (robes, tshirts, anything with “bride” on it) Weddings pressure you to buy a lot of things you don’t need!
There's one very thing i hate: the pressure about finding the right dress. I'm not into white (i want black), I'm not into ball gown, I'd love to have a jumpsuit but I can't find the right one. In order to have the one I want i'd have to make it custom made, which will cost around 2000$. I found a very simple black dress that I love, i find it sexy without being slutty but... My mum breaks my balls about it. She's like "That's too plain, simple, not appropriate for the occasion"
I feel like party favors and a videographer is some of the only semi-important things. Small favors and little thins for family to have a memory of would be nice. To be a able to remember the day their child or sibling or cousin or grandchild got married. And a videographer just so that you can let guests know that they can relax and not worry on recording everything. It’s nice to be able to have a professional recording of your happiest day to look back on. A video where everyone is watching the ceremony, and not through their iPhone screen.
You literally just described my wedding 😂 No bridal party, 50 guests, assorted cheesecakes and lemon squares, no grand entrance or exit, no bouquet toss. And it was my favorite day ever!! We did serve dinner though (pizza and garlic knots).
Instead of a bachelor/bachelorette party we had a a bonfire with friends a couple months prior, and then a spa day with moms and sisters the week prior (wedding talk was banned). Totally better for us and the combo of the 2 of them was cheaper and more relaxing. Although after the wedding we had a paintball tournament.... nothing to do with the stress of hosting a party with 150 people.
I'm planning on giving my bouquet to my mother as we leave the aisle. I'm getting her favourite flowers especially for it. She doesn't know this yet though.
My boyfriend (23 at the time) was the ring bearer at his cousin's wedding lol he was asked because he (my boyfriend) is the youngest of his family line of cousins everybody got a good laugh when they saw a 6'2" full bearded man entering the venue with a "here comes the bride" sign in his hands!!!
I once heard an idea for instead of a ring bearer that I love. (Though it takes probably a small wedding and complete trust in all your guests.) You have your guests pass the rings from person to person to warm the rings/give their blessing/say a prayer/whatever. By the time for them, they, in theory, would be at the front for you
My daughter small intimate wedding in September 2019 was divine. She skipped almost all traditions and didn't listen to any of Martha Stewart advise. She didn't do flower or garter toss, first dance, favors, videographer, no bridal party, no kids, toast, speeches were limited only mom (me) bride and groom spoke and thanked everyone. It was a prefect day of being present, enjoying their guest talking to everyone, taking pictures, listening to the harpest play, eating the most delicious food and drinking the best wine. Their honeymoon was in the Maldives. They preferred to invite less people, skip traditions to save for their future house, children and have an amazing honeymoon.
So glad we aren't the only ones! The whole process just looks and feels so awkward to both of us. We would much rather spend that precious reception time dancing and loving on the people who came to celebrate with us.
Sabrina Pershing that's a really sweet idea! I've seen something similar when the flowers in the center of the tables goes to the oldest woman at the table. Good way to not waste perfectly good flowers, plus makes someone's day
I went to a wedding that the bride and groom did their ‘grand exit’ when leaving the church after the ceremony before we all went to the reception venue! So they got the cool pictures but they didn’t wait until the end of the night!!
That's what my husband and I did. I totally let him decide on his own what car because he loves cars. He picked a getaway car for us to take to the venue after church. He wanted some sort of 1950s car. We are both obsessed with the 1950s-1960s esthetic. We got a 1956 Ford Fairlane. It was the best decision to take our own car to the venue. We did a nice grand exit from there and lots of people took pictures of us in it. Still get comments on it 8 months later. We were able to get alone time right after getting married. I highly recommend doing this if you have the budget for it.
That sounds so fun, I'll have to consider doing this myself. Especially if my reception ends up at a different location than the ceremony. Thanks for the suggestion!
Jamie, you saying Bride and Bride so casually makes me want to cry with joy. That kind of inclusive language, without it being a big deal or an afterthought is so refreshing and appreciated. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! 🌈😭😍
Thank you sooo much for making this!! Weddings have gotten a little out of control with the rise of social media. It makes me feel a lot better after watching this for not wanting the same kind of wedding all my friends have had.
Hi Jamie!!!! If it might be useful to anyone, I also think that you can skip favors, in fact, I think you said on multiple occasions that most guests do not take favors with them anyways. As a rule of thumb, don't let family/friends/vendors/people push you to do things you don't want to do! Stay safe everyone ❤
I take them not because I want them, but because I feel obligated to take one. Save the $$$ and spend it towards an area of your wedding you want to go a little more elaborate with! 😊
I plan on having a big sleepover for my bachelorette. Fun games, movies, not yoo many snacks cuz I'll get sick, and a chance for my bridesmaids to bond some more.
My fiancé and I are getting married next year and we’re lesbians. I appreciate you saying Bride and Bride like it’s no biggie. My family does not support our love AT ALL. So, it feels good to hear someone say it like...eh...moving on. Love you so much!
My fiancé and I are doing a budget wedding, getting a combo of chipotle and Olive Garden in my dad’s backyard, no bridal party and we’re both wearing jeans with a 60 person guest list, making most of the things ourselves and planning it ourselves. Saving so much $$$$$!
I’m a diligent student who has seen some of these already 😅 However, I’m getting married in September 2020, and you have helped me be the bride I want to be, and let us have the wedding we want, shame free! Nothing about our wedding is ‘typical’ or ‘traditional’ and our vendors and families are so excited to experience it once it happens ♥️ it will be OUR wedding OUR way! Thank you Jamie
Thank you for your thoughts about a dry wedding! We're having a dry, brunch wedding and I've struggled explaining to people that it's expensive and puts a lot of responsibility on us 🙃 Also, after watching your channel for a while, you inspired me to become an event planner/coordinator. I work in the wedding industry already (bridal gowns) and never thought about doing it professionally until a friend asked me to coordinate hers so I came to your channel for advice!
I’d recommend the podcast, “Bridechilla” to you. I love it. The host talks alot about how to act assertively during wedding planning and feeling more confident to do things the way you think works best for your event.
My mom’s wedding to my stepdad was 40 people. There was no bridal party and my brother and I walked my mom down the isle! Don’t be afraid of nontraditional!
I am a wedding photographer and my wedding was everything but traditional, and it was PERFECT for me. I have been working weddings for over 5 years now so I have known for a while what I don't want to waste money on, so I had no bridal party, a free ceremony space, a ceremony one day and reception the next morning- brunch buffet with bloody and mimosa bar. The whole weekend was exactly what I wanted and we saved a lot of money.
The only things we're doing on this list is pro officiant (only priests, mayors and such can wed in Norway, we're doing a courthouse wedding which is free in our city), tacos for dinner, alcohol (BYOB after dinner) and a small cake (the rest cupcakes)! No flowers, decor, paper stuff.. We're only doing the things we WANT to, which isn't much! 60 ish guests, about $4500 cost max :D
I got married back in October. I didn't have a flower girl or ring bearer because kids under 15 weren't allowed at our wedding. I also didn't have alcohol, and bouquet/garter toss. We played the shoe game instead of the tosses. I absolutely didn't regret not having any of it.
1. You don't have to have a registry 2. Any form of bridal party 3. Flower girl and/or ring bearer 4. Any form of bachelor/bachelorette weekend 5. Big guest count 6. Professional officiant 7. Dinner 8. Alcohol 9. Grand entrance 10. Grand exit
Thank you so much! I was feeling pressured to have a huge reception. So we’re doing Dessert only Reception . The catering alone cost more than my honeymoon and the venue. I refuse to go into debt for people who are just going to complain about the food anyway !
I’ve been watching your videos throughout planning my wedding and they have been so helpful! I never thought I’d get married because I didn’t feel a lot of the traditions are ‘me’ and now I have realised I can make it however I want :) now I’m super excited to get married :) thank you Jamie 💕
Groom's cake is another item you can cut. Thanks for the modern wedding tips...our wedding will be our 3rd for both of us and we are both over 50. I was seeking ideas for a different kind of wedding.
It's nice to hear more people are going the nontraditional route. The ONLY wedding tradition I have any interest in keeping is the "trash can" gift tradition, which was created by my great uncle, and gets a lot of the family involved. Practical items, gag gifts, as long as you can tie it to the wash-line and fit it all in the garbage can, anything goes! :)
My stepson got married last year. They had a fancy, sit-down dinner and a DJ. Everybody left after the first dance because there wasn't any alcohol. Most people don't like to dance sober. The place was rented until midnight but everyone (except immediate family) had left by 7:30. The bride was heartbroken.
My guest list is 32 people myself and groom included. Our wedding officiant is my step brother. My ring bearer is my almost adult-teenage brother. Our desert is s’mores (outdoor September wedding). My photographer is my cousin (who is building a photography business). We hope it will naturally transition from wedding to reception and into bonfire party. Our wedding venue is also our lodging so no grand exit. Just casual big party and get together with our closest family/friends. It’s small and covid-approved.
Omg I NEEDED to hear this at this exact moment! I’ve watched all your videos like 3 times through throughout this last year as I’ve been planning, but the grand entrance thing has been giving me issues and I’ve been wondering what to do. I feel such relief, and all it took was Jamie Wolfer telling me that I don’t need to do it! ❤️❤️❤️
Can you possibly do a video on all the traditions that there are. Not necessarily the ones we should do but just what a typical traditional wedding day includes from the time we wake up until we leave the venue. I’m newly engaged and am not necessarily wanting to do all the traditional things but I do want to know them all so I can pick and choose what right for us
Thanks Jaime! Now I can get rid of the cake and not feel guilty! My partner just hates cake and it’s expensive so we might have wedding pie and cookies 😊 love yah! Keep inspiring the world!
I love these types of videos. I hadn’t thought about the grand entrance part. We have a large wedding party so it would also cut down on time to skip a big entrance for them and do a casual one for just us
Thank you for this! I have been so stressed out about my upcoming wedding. One thing that stood out to me was the bouquet and garter tosses. I have always cringed at those. It always made me feel bad about being single.
I'm eloping on a mountain top in Colorado. No guests just us, a photographer and officiant. I love attending weddings as a guest but Its just not for me or my other half. I have heard the stress for my friends of expectations of their wedding choices. I feel for anyone stressed over wedding planning
I'm not doing a veil. They are SO over priced for what they are (just a piece of see through material). And I personally think they can look kinda weird/funny.
My mum had a cheese wedding cake and it was amazing. Also we are having a little cake and having our desert table.We are having cake, cupcakes, cake pops, shortbread, meringue kisses along with sweets. That is our desert for our meal
Oh my god I got SO MUCH FLACK in a bridal group for saying it was okay for brides to be uncomfortable with a garter toss/not want to do it!! Was told that my boundaries didn't matter, that I was too immature and childish to get married if I wasn't okay with doing it??? Wild how aggressive people get over OTHER PEOPLES' wedding choices
Yessssss!!!! I just got engaged and you listed a bunch of stuff I really didn't want to do and for some reason it felt really nice to have a total stranger on youtube agree with me so THANK YOU. I hate cake! And I have too many close friends to choose a bridal party! You are hilarious!
Yes!! Thank you! I'm not having cake at my wedding because I worked as a server at a wedding venue and SOOOOOOOO much cake is wasted. People don't want cake after eating appetizers, getting a drink, AND having a meal. We throw away most of the cake and it's a real shame. Also donuts and other desserts so so delicious, unique, and just not as heavy when you're about to dance.
have you ever seen a wedding where there wasn’t a first dance? i’m planning my wedding right now and the idea of having a first dance makes me feel sick, as someone with anxiety i can’t stand the idea but i feel like everyone would expect it?
you don't have to! i'm the same way and we debated on having one or not. i'm 10000% for making your wedding about you two and things that make sense for you.
Don't do it! If you're not comfortable with it, you will just be constantly stressing about it rather than enjoying your wedding. It might be worth thinking about a meaningful song for both of you play during the "dancing segment" and if you feel like it, have a dance.
We're doing a grand entrance mainly because my fiance and I are extra as hell. It's something that we're genuinely excited for, and I totally understand how some brides and grooms would not be down for it. As for garter and bouquet toss, I think we're going to throw them at the same time, and whoever catches what can! Again, we're extra and would love to see our friends Duke it out (even though 90% are happily single and will likely run in the opposite direction 😂)
It's so much fun to see how many traditions are around the glob. I'm personally live in Poland and there's not such thing as grand exit, bride and groom just stays to the end of the party. Registry it's quite rere same as flower girls and ring bearer. And in legal way there is ceremony in a church or with official in city hall (or in any place you want with extra charge). And usually there's something name "oczepiny" which is around 12pm and it's time for games like tossing a bouquet (or a veil, with groom a tie)
My wedding got postponed but I didn’t plan to do a bouquet toss in the original plan. I didn’t even realize that was a tradition I skipped! Still won’t do it haha!
I'm thinking about this one too. Honestly, I would love to preserve my wedding bouquet and I'm not ready to spend more money on the bouquet which I just toss...
My wedding is being postponed too :( but I feel like I can start fresh with my plans and it will hopefully be in spring so more flowers will be available so that’s a plus :)
Just watched three of your videos and appreciate your advice so much. I am happy to know that the things I think are superfluous are ok to skip. And I now know what guests will and won’t care about which will make planning much less burdensome. Kudos for great presentation!
My wedding is going to be simple simple, no bridal party, no kids and only 30 people. I convinced my fiance to get ready with me the morning of the wedding beacuse Im not close with my mother and mot super close with his and my sisters cant even make it. So were going to have a private first look and vows in the hotel room before we leave 🥰
This video makes me feel so much better about my choices! I'm basically already not doing any of those things (except dinner, I am having dinner) and the fee people that are coming keep being shocked at all the things I'm doing nontraditional
My fiancé and I are older. I’ll be 51 when we marry he’ll be 65. We’re marrying in a Vegas wedding chapel with about 10-12 guests. I like the smaller weddings.
My boyfriend and I (whenever the time comes with everything right now) have decided to do a flower dog and ring dog instead of flower girl and ring bearer! Too many small children between our families that it would inevitably hurt feelings and start arguments. So doggo's it is!! 😄
I bought this using the coupon code, and I'm single... this is how you know shelter in place has driven me crazy. I bought it because I wanted to understand weddings as someone who never really cared before Jamie really made it an interesting and exciting topic with all her info on how a wedding is like a symphony and it all works together. It's really useful information.!!! I probably won't need it for longer than a month and debated returning but the info she gives is DEF worth $100. Thanks, Jamie, I love your content!
Absolutely love your content. Been watching on your personal channel too! An average UK wedding only has around 80 guests... and 4 bridesmaids/groomsmen. Its wild to think of such a large bridal party and large guest count in general!
Sooo, I've just been named coordinator for a wedding. I'm honored and said yes, before realizing: I actually hate weddings... God I hate them. I think it's a complete waste of time, energy and money. But I see that it's really important to some people and I want the couple to have their special day as great as possible. I try to find out everything about weddings and landed on here. You are amazing Jamie! You would help me a lot, if you could make a video with a few things that are crucial for coordinators to do oder remember. Greets from Switzerland!
LOL My friend is hopefully getting married this year (I say hopefully because of this entire covid *snaps* thing) and we're planning her bachelorette party whether she wants one or not. But basically what we're planning is getting an airbnb with a pool, pigging out on pizza and other favorite foods, drinking some wine and soda and having like a girls night sleep over haha and none of it is coming out of her pocket
Jamie, you can repeat yourself anytime. As a subscriber, I love your channel and content. If it's really important, of course you're going to say it more than once!
Love this video Jamie! For officiant, depends on your state if they accept people that get certificate online (my state has strict rules on officiants). Another note is that my fiancé and I are having mixed gender sides (4 women 1 man for bridal party, 2 women 3 men for groomsmen) it’s all about who you want up there!
We're planning to have tea and the cake in the afternoon after the ceremony. Our package at the venue included dessert and evening snacks, so it felt like too much to have cake after that. This makes it cheaper as well because no cocktail hour - there will be enough wine and beer for the rest of the evening. Plus, it makes it easier to include kids in this part of the day and then ask that they'll go home for the dinner part of the evening.
I agree with the big guest count or the big bridal party. I live in the south and HUGE bridal parties are so common. But to be honest, those are always the groups that have drama haha I always say to keep it to your best friends.
Could you do a video on how to handle bridesmaids that you now regret asking to be a bridesmaid??😅 my maid of honor is my fiancé’s sister and it seems that she thinks it’s her wedding? Literally everything I do pisses her off and she complains about it to the other bridesmaids. And I. Can’t. Handle. It. Hellllppppp 😐😐😐
Oh gosh that’s terrible lol. I kinda don’t want bridesmaids I asked either. I just prefer my sister and my soon to be sister in law. Rather than them and three friends-ish.
I’m right there with you on cake. I don’t like cake and when I get married I want to do pie and Christmas cookies (since I wanna get married in December). Cake is over priced and limits you on flavor options IMO. You can get multiple different assortments of pie flavors and cookies for far less.
Thank you so much for this video! I’m supposed to be getting married in August (pending this virus situation). I have so much pressure from friends and family for certain things, and this video just reassured my feelings on some subjects! 💕
The dinner part i feel 100%! Especially when you go from cocktail hour to the boring sit down dinner for over an hour when you really just want to dance. It’s so boring!
Hearing you say that not having a bridal and groom party is fine gives me so much stress relief, the whole gender specific thing is not for us but I’ve felt bad about not doing it. We would rather just do pictures with all of our best friends together!
I am really proud that we did not do most of the things on your list (especially the little kid flower girl. Total fan girl moment but I digress). Thx for giving permission to those engaged couples who strive to have a wedding that is completely their own. ALSO YOUR ENDING IS ADORABLE AND I AM A HUGE FAN OF YOU AND YOUR LIFE AND YOUR BUSINESS
Got suitcases with Macys gift certificates. Nine years later traveling on 2 month trips with those suitcases. We had 25 people of our families and my best friend and her boyfriend.
I love grade exits cuz I want mine to be with lightsabers so I'm totally keeping that but this is super cool cuz their are some things I don't wanna do.
we're doing a bouquet and garter toss but not until the end so we won't interrupt the dancing. i'm going to just a fake bouquet that looks like mine so i can keep mine 😁
at my venue, the end of the aisle is folding doors that open into our cocktail hour/dinner tables room, so we are just going to go straight to our cocktail hour from the ceremony. we will essentially be the first people at our cocktail hour, and are skipping the grand entrance all together. we are going to get all our photos done beforehand, so we can spend the entirety of our cocktail hour/reception with our guests. we are also skipping a lot of other things that are "traditional". like the bouquet/garter toss, a flower girl, favors, programs, mail in RSVPs (we will have online RSVPs), and excessive toasts. basically, all the things we dont want/dont like at other weddings, we arent doing.
Omg aa soon as i announced my engagement and picked my Maid of Honor she tried taking over my entire wedding....like When we do the bridal entrance i want to walk in to this song and i had to tell her like im not doing a bridal party entrace(like to me its stupid and cringe annnnnd the ceremony is on the same site as venue((cuz also making people drive here and there is ridiculous)) sooo she was all mad then she was mad because i told her i wasnt doing a bouquet toss or garter toss cuz i also think thats gross no man needs to bw under their womans dress in front of their parents and grandparents groossssss. Anyhow literally everyone thinks its their wedding and the endless opinions are giving me PTSD
We are having one bridesmaid or bridesman each our two daughters and granddaughter are our flower girls, and we are having cupcakes no cake. And as far as bachloret party nope I'm doing a mother daughter spa day with our oldest then we are going to meet up with friends for dinner and a few drinks, last but not least we are having no registry.
THANK YOU FOR SAYING NO CAKE IF YOU DON'T WANT CAKE! 👏👏👏 I keep telling people I don't want a wedding cake because I'm not going to spend an arm and a leg on a desert I don't even care for and they think I'm crazy! "You're at least going to have a cake for you and your hubby to cut, right?" Probably not! What part of I don't care for cake don't y'all understand? Okay sorry. End rant. 🤣
Oh my gosh us too... Thus is literally us. We don't want cake coz neither of us care if it. We definitely don't care for the cake cutting picture either! We did compromise though (as I mentioned in my comment on this vid) and agree to having a cheese cake, as in cake made of cheese, coz we love cheese. But there will be no photos of us cutting it at all. That we're certain of
I love that video! You should tell the guests beforehand if you make mayor changes to traditions (so that they can e.g. bring swimwear if you have a poolparty or eat before the party if there is no complete meal), but otherwise - there should be something to dring, something to eat, somewhere to sit for the guests. The rest - do what you want! Friends of mine did not have decorations. Was it a great wedding? Yeah! Other friends had the ceremony only the two of them and the guests came later to the party - was still fun! I don't like flowers, I don't want flowers on my wedding. Either will make a bouquet of buttons (I love sewing) or won't have one at all. I'm from Germany, and in most regions guests do only give money to the bridal couple (cash, nicely decorated, as the cash lovers we Germans are), because nearly all couples live together before getting married. And it's fine. Let them use the money to pay the wedding bills or the honey moon - or do what they want!
Jamie can you also make a video about how to deal with not having your family’s support in the wedding? My family and I aren’t on great terms due to conflicts and such. It makes me sad that they can’t be on my special day but I’ve already accept that. So my issue is who’s going to walk me down the isle and how (if I should) can explain to my guests that my family won’t be around. I know people will probably ask and I really don’t feel like explaining, but I feel like just letting people know so they won’t have to hush behind my back and asking questions. I’d appreciate it if you have any insights about this issue and if you ever had an event where the family of the bride is not around to support her.
DDE In a way yes. We are going with fake flowers and I’m going to make a display with my bouquets from my parents wedding, each of my best friends weddings, and my own.
DDE I’ve seen videos of the shoe game. For me I feel like it’s not something I’d do at the reception but I could see it being fun for a co-Ed wedding shower.
Getting married in a couple weeks and we opted to not have a bridal party or bachelorette party, my officiant is my best friend whom has officiated LOTS of weddings, we have 50 guests (perfect size!) and my good friend is our "flower girl" (we will be on a glacier so he will be dancing and throwing small pieces of ice haha). Cant wait!
Completely non wedding related but I would love a video on your personal channel about you birth stories! I just found out I am pregnant and I would love to hear about home birth v. Hospital ❤️love you and your company!!
I skipped bouquet toss (didn't want to lose mine, didn't want to spend more money on a toss bouquet) and the garter toss (not my style...I've watched too many awkward ones). No regrets! Love this video...do what you want for YOUR wedding! My ring bearer was also 19 years old--some people raised their eyebrows, but on the day of, it was a lot of people's favorite surprise moment! Everything else was pretty traditional, but it was fun to make these little details "us", and have our wedding be memorable for our guests AND fun for us :) Edit: we also had a dry wedding! Yes some people will give you a hard time...but I told them we were on a strict budget, didn't want people making the long drive home in bad weather possibly drunk, and have some people in both my husband and I's immediate family that are very against alcohol. The day of, no one said anything, we had lots of coffee, and an awesome dance playlist, and people partied long and hard despite it being a "dry" event. Having alcohol would have cost us easily another $2-3k, plus extra event insurance. not worth it for us
Only saw the second intro, but I'm pausing to write this: The top is cute! I had a similar one and I loved it! Wore it until one of the sleeves came off...
Anytime you feel like you have to shell out money for a tradition, ask yourself “why do I need this?” If the answer is just “because everyone else did”. You don’t need it!
Exactly!!
I agree
I wish people felt this way about last names. I've known women to spend hundrends and thousands of dollars to change all their identifications and degrees to their husbands last name! I think its unfortunate how we are one of the few counties who practice this "tradition." Even women in places where we are taught are unfortunate to be a woman in (Iraq, Iran and Saudi Arabia), the women here do not change their last names.
@@simonejohnson3334 Thank you for saying this! I'm about to finish my Master's and will be applying for my PhD soon but my wedding is this year. It's also difficult for other scholars to follow your name if you have written published work! Some people want to keep their accomplishments in their family's name, which shouldn't be viewed as taboo.
@@simonejohnson3334 I second that! People--mostly family--look at me like I'm crazy when I tell them I have no intention of changing my last name when I get married. I like my name the way it is, plus it's a name that's not very common. I do have a unique situation because my one cousin-in-law (on my dad's side of the family) & I have the exact same 1st, middle, & last name since she changed her last name after she married my cousin so changing my last name would be "easier for everyone else" ...but being expected to change my last name just because "that's the tradition" is crazy. Of course, there's a lot of traditions that I just don't get ...
Thank you SO much! I want a dry wedding. I am an alcoholic and I have many family members who are. But, I’m getting so much flack for wanting a dry wedding. “It’s boring. No one will dance. No one will come”. Thank you for giving me permission to tell them no alcohol!
*Got married 11/28/21 with a dry wedding and it was AMAZING. People danced. People enjoyed themselves. People who said they weren’t coming ended up coming and having fun! It’s your day, do what you want! ♥️♥️
That's nonsense!! People will go for you, not for the alcohol. They will dance if the music is good and they will have fun
I’m sorry you have people in your life who are discouraging your dry wedding idea. It is YOUR and YOUR SPOUSE’s day. Don’t do anything that would make you feel uncomfortable or give you anxiety. If people don’t come to your wedding because there is no alcohol then they are missing out and they aren’t your true friends. And bonus for you bc you are saving money! Every dollar that isn’t spent on alcohol or on a guest that won’t come bc there is no alcohol is just more money that you can put towards something you actually want at your wedding, honeymoon, or right back into your newlywed savings fund!! I don’t drink either but I am always the one living it up on the dance floor at every wedding! Cheers to you and your future spouse and I hope you have an amazing wedding!!❤️
Coffee,tea, fizzing water,punch, virgin cocktail, "charcoal coconut cream ice latte"(to counteract overdoing sugary sweets),frape/smoothie....there are other options so people won't go hungry or thirsty.Even if it's nice to have a glass of wine offered it's not a big deal to have a party without.You can go to dinner at a lot of homes... alcohol isn't the thing on the table,still feels special.Thanksgiving for instance? (Sometimes if you're sitting close to the bar it attracts a noisy crowd,it can be pleasant to mingle,sit,walk around /if you've got an outdoor area maybe? -as well as dance)It's not a bar party,so just make it elegant and beautiful the way you imagine including everyone.
I am not having any alcohol at my wedding either.
If you're concerned about what people will think of a dry wedding (I would totally go to one btw, I dont drink either), then it may be a good idea to have a brunch wedding because most people wont even want to drink at that time of day
Other things that aren’t necessary: expensive invitations, favors, a limo, videographer, an expensive outfit, bridal party outfits (robes, tshirts, anything with “bride” on it) Weddings pressure you to buy a lot of things you don’t need!
Do people still rent limos?
There's one very thing i hate: the pressure about finding the right dress. I'm not into white (i want black), I'm not into ball gown, I'd love to have a jumpsuit but I can't find the right one. In order to have the one I want i'd have to make it custom made, which will cost around 2000$. I found a very simple black dress that I love, i find it sexy without being slutty but... My mum breaks my balls about it. She's like "That's too plain, simple, not appropriate for the occasion"
Federica Galli I’m the white dress type but that idea actually sounds so cool to me
A videographer is GREAT though. The day goes by so quickly, getting to relive some of the highlights is priceless.
I feel like party favors and a videographer is some of the only semi-important things. Small favors and little thins for family to have a memory of would be nice. To be a able to remember the day their child or sibling or cousin or grandchild got married.
And a videographer just so that you can let guests know that they can relax and not worry on recording everything. It’s nice to be able to have a professional recording of your happiest day to look back on. A video where everyone is watching the ceremony, and not through their iPhone screen.
You literally just described my wedding 😂 No bridal party, 50 guests, assorted cheesecakes and lemon squares, no grand entrance or exit, no bouquet toss. And it was my favorite day ever!! We did serve dinner though (pizza and garlic knots).
Perfect wedding!
Ouu I wanna serve pizza! I'm worried it would be too messy with people dressed all nice lol
I would love to have a wedding like that..
Instead of a bachelor/bachelorette party we had a a bonfire with friends a couple months prior, and then a spa day with moms and sisters the week prior (wedding talk was banned). Totally better for us and the combo of the 2 of them was cheaper and more relaxing. Although after the wedding we had a paintball tournament.... nothing to do with the stress of hosting a party with 150 people.
I LOVE that!!!!
Writing this down for when I’m older, this is amazing❣️
I want that but I’m paranoid some egg will still get me a stripper 🤦🏻♀️
@@parker6739 That would quiet a memory though😂 and you wouldn’t be paying so you can just send it away🤷♀️
I'm planning on giving my bouquet to my mother as we leave the aisle. I'm getting her favourite flowers especially for it. She doesn't know this yet though.
Stephanie Thompson how sweet!!!
Omg this is SO sweet!!
OMG I love this! Especially since I plan to have my mother walk me down the aisle
Oh my this is so sweet 😭
That’s awesome 💜
I recently went to a budget wedding. The couple had coffee and donuts afterward. It was the best!
I would have loved it
That's a great idea!!
This idea might have just saved me! Lol
My boyfriend (23 at the time) was the ring bearer at his cousin's wedding lol he was asked because he (my boyfriend) is the youngest of his family line of cousins everybody got a good laugh when they saw a 6'2" full bearded man entering the venue with a "here comes the bride" sign in his hands!!!
Laura Cristina Valdez I love this
I am 100% stealing this idea!
I love that
This is absolutely hilarious 😂😂😂 I’m choosing not the have kids at my wedding so this makes sense to do in lieu hahahahha
I once heard an idea for instead of a ring bearer that I love. (Though it takes probably a small wedding and complete trust in all your guests.) You have your guests pass the rings from person to person to warm the rings/give their blessing/say a prayer/whatever. By the time for them, they, in theory, would be at the front for you
I love this idea. Brings everyone together in this.
Omg what an adorable idea!
Anyone else surprised she didn’t say anything about not needing favors? 😂😂
Megan Hope I think it was because it’s not a BIG tradition. But she says it in all her other videos so I was expecting it too😂
I just want to mention, thank you for saying bride and bride when talking about the grand entrance. It's so nice to see that kind of casual inclusion!
My daughter small intimate wedding in September 2019 was divine. She skipped almost all traditions and didn't listen to any of Martha Stewart advise. She didn't do flower or garter toss, first dance, favors, videographer, no bridal party, no kids, toast, speeches were limited only mom (me) bride and groom spoke and thanked everyone. It was a prefect day of being present, enjoying their guest talking to everyone, taking pictures, listening to the harpest play, eating the most delicious food and drinking the best wine. Their honeymoon was in the Maldives. They preferred to invite less people, skip traditions to save for their future house, children and have an amazing honeymoon.
Nice ❤
We decided early on that we aren't doing a bouquet/garter toss. Totally not our speed at all.
JennyNichole07 agreed!
Same! I'm gifting part of my bouquet to the couples that have have been married the longest and nooooo garter toss
So glad we aren't the only ones! The whole process just looks and feels so awkward to both of us. We would much rather spend that precious reception time dancing and loving on the people who came to celebrate with us.
Sabrina Pershing that's a really sweet idea! I've seen something similar when the flowers in the center of the tables goes to the oldest woman at the table. Good way to not waste perfectly good flowers, plus makes someone's day
Us too
I went to a wedding that the bride and groom did their ‘grand exit’ when leaving the church after the ceremony before we all went to the reception venue! So they got the cool pictures but they didn’t wait until the end of the night!!
Lauren Matthews That’s a great idea! might just steal it😍👌🏻
That's what my husband and I did. I totally let him decide on his own what car because he loves cars. He picked a getaway car for us to take to the venue after church. He wanted some sort of 1950s car. We are both obsessed with the 1950s-1960s esthetic. We got a 1956 Ford Fairlane. It was the best decision to take our own car to the venue. We did a nice grand exit from there and lots of people took pictures of us in it. Still get comments on it 8 months later. We were able to get alone time right after getting married. I highly recommend doing this if you have the budget for it.
That sounds so fun, I'll have to consider doing this myself. Especially if my reception ends up at a different location than the ceremony. Thanks for the suggestion!
that's how it's done at all weddings here. lots of people go just to the ceremony so the receiving line is just outside the church
What was their grand exit? Some people use bubbles or sparkles
Jamie, you saying Bride and Bride so casually makes me want to cry with joy. That kind of inclusive language, without it being a big deal or an afterthought is so refreshing and appreciated. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! 🌈😭😍
Samantha Neill agreed! It was nice to hear someone just mention it in a sentence casually!
Literally was coming in the comment section to mention this!
Thank you sooo much for making this!! Weddings have gotten a little out of control with the rise of social media. It makes me feel a lot better after watching this for not wanting the same kind of wedding all my friends have had.
Hi Jamie!!!! If it might be useful to anyone, I also think that you can skip favors, in fact, I think you said on multiple occasions that most guests do not take favors with them anyways.
As a rule of thumb, don't let family/friends/vendors/people push you to do things you don't want to do!
Stay safe everyone ❤
@@Aoendkth-nv7au or they just leave them on a shelf to collect dust 😅
I take them not because I want them, but because I feel obligated to take one. Save the $$$ and spend it towards an area of your wedding you want to go a little more elaborate with! 😊
I plan on having a big sleepover for my bachelorette. Fun games, movies, not yoo many snacks cuz I'll get sick, and a chance for my bridesmaids to bond some more.
My fiancé and I are getting married next year and we’re lesbians. I appreciate you saying Bride and Bride like it’s no biggie. My family does not support our love AT ALL. So, it feels good to hear someone say it like...eh...moving on. Love you so much!
Your comment was a year ago…I hope your wedding was PERFECT!! ❤️❤️❤️
@@abigailsalmanac Hey there! It was AMAZING! We eloped on the top of a mountain ⛰. Unforgettable and beautiful day, thank you sooo much ♥️!
@@litallove wow good for you. I love this ❤️😊 sounds like an amazing day for you both!
@@abigailsalmanac IT WAS AMAZING!!!!! We got married on a mountain top. Just me, her, and our photographer. I wouldn’t have changed a thing! ♥️♥️♥️
@@rachy5384 It sure was!!! Thank you so much!!!!
Honestly for my bachelorette party I got a few humans together and we played dungeons and dragons, For the hole weekend. The best idea ever!
My fiancé and I are doing a budget wedding, getting a combo of chipotle and Olive Garden in my dad’s backyard, no bridal party and we’re both wearing jeans with a 60 person guest list, making most of the things ourselves and planning it ourselves. Saving so much $$$$$!
I’m a diligent student who has seen some of these already 😅
However, I’m getting married in September 2020, and you have helped me be the bride I want to be, and let us have the wedding we want, shame free!
Nothing about our wedding is ‘typical’ or ‘traditional’ and our vendors and families are so excited to experience it once it happens ♥️ it will be OUR wedding OUR way! Thank you Jamie
Thank you for your thoughts about a dry wedding! We're having a dry, brunch wedding and I've struggled explaining to people that it's expensive and puts a lot of responsibility on us 🙃
Also, after watching your channel for a while, you inspired me to become an event planner/coordinator. I work in the wedding industry already (bridal gowns) and never thought about doing it professionally until a friend asked me to coordinate hers so I came to your channel for advice!
I’d recommend the podcast, “Bridechilla” to you. I love it. The host talks alot about how to act assertively during wedding planning and feeling more confident to do things the way you think works best for your event.
@@sdarling6518 thanks!! I'll definitely have to check that out.
My mom’s wedding to my stepdad was 40 people. There was no bridal party and my brother and I walked my mom down the isle! Don’t be afraid of nontraditional!
I am a wedding photographer and my wedding was everything but traditional, and it was PERFECT for me. I have been working weddings for over 5 years now so I have known for a while what I don't want to waste money on, so I had no bridal party, a free ceremony space, a ceremony one day and reception the next morning- brunch buffet with bloody and mimosa bar. The whole weekend was exactly what I wanted and we saved a lot of money.
The only things we're doing on this list is pro officiant (only priests, mayors and such can wed in Norway, we're doing a courthouse wedding which is free in our city), tacos for dinner, alcohol (BYOB after dinner) and a small cake (the rest cupcakes)! No flowers, decor, paper stuff.. We're only doing the things we WANT to, which isn't much! 60 ish guests, about $4500 cost max :D
I got married back in October. I didn't have a flower girl or ring bearer because kids under 15 weren't allowed at our wedding. I also didn't have alcohol, and bouquet/garter toss. We played the shoe game instead of the tosses. I absolutely didn't regret not having any of it.
1. You don't have to have a registry
2. Any form of bridal party
3. Flower girl and/or ring bearer
4. Any form of bachelor/bachelorette weekend
5. Big guest count
6. Professional officiant
7. Dinner
8. Alcohol
9. Grand entrance
10. Grand exit
Thank you so much! I was feeling pressured to have a huge reception. So we’re doing Dessert only Reception . The catering alone cost more than my honeymoon and the venue. I refuse to go into debt for people who are just going to complain about the food anyway !
I’ve been watching your videos throughout planning my wedding and they have been so helpful! I never thought I’d get married because I didn’t feel a lot of the traditions are ‘me’ and now I have realised I can make it however I want :) now I’m super excited to get married :) thank you Jamie 💕
I never considered not doing dinner for the reception but I think just appetizer, dessert, and drinks sounds amazing!!!
Groom's cake is another item you can cut. Thanks for the modern wedding tips...our wedding will be our 3rd for both of us and we are both over 50. I was seeking ideas for a different kind of wedding.
It's nice to hear more people are going the nontraditional route. The ONLY wedding tradition I have any interest in keeping is the "trash can" gift tradition, which was created by my great uncle, and gets a lot of the family involved. Practical items, gag gifts, as long as you can tie it to the wash-line and fit it all in the garbage can, anything goes! :)
My stepson got married last year. They had a fancy, sit-down dinner and a DJ. Everybody left after the first dance because there wasn't any alcohol. Most people don't like to dance sober. The place was rented until midnight but everyone (except immediate family) had left by 7:30. The bride was heartbroken.
My guest list is 32 people myself and groom included. Our wedding officiant is my step brother. My ring bearer is my almost adult-teenage brother. Our desert is s’mores (outdoor September wedding). My photographer is my cousin (who is building a photography business). We hope it will naturally transition from wedding to reception and into bonfire party. Our wedding venue is also our lodging so no grand exit. Just casual big party and get together with our closest family/friends. It’s small and covid-approved.
Omg I NEEDED to hear this at this exact moment! I’ve watched all your videos like 3 times through throughout this last year as I’ve been planning, but the grand entrance thing has been giving me issues and I’ve been wondering what to do. I feel such relief, and all it took was Jamie Wolfer telling me that I don’t need to do it! ❤️❤️❤️
You have been ESSENTIAL to planning my wedding! Love your content and your beautiful family!
Can you possibly do a video on all the traditions that there are. Not necessarily the ones we should do but just what a typical traditional wedding day includes from the time we wake up until we leave the venue. I’m newly engaged and am not necessarily wanting to do all the traditional things but I do want to know them all so I can pick and choose what right for us
Thanks Jaime! Now I can get rid of the cake and not feel guilty! My partner just hates cake and it’s expensive so we might have wedding pie and cookies 😊 love yah! Keep inspiring the world!
I love these types of videos. I hadn’t thought about the grand entrance part. We have a large wedding party so it would also cut down on time to skip a big entrance for them and do a casual one for just us
Thank you for this! I have been so stressed out about my upcoming wedding. One thing that stood out to me was the bouquet and garter tosses. I have always cringed at those. It always made me feel bad about being single.
I'm eloping on a mountain top in Colorado. No guests just us, a photographer and officiant. I love attending weddings as a guest but Its just not for me or my other half. I have heard the stress for my friends of expectations of their wedding choices. I feel for anyone stressed over wedding planning
I was waiting for you to say. You don’t have to do a veil if you don’t want to. I guess I just wanted validation haha
Crystal Rodriguez I’m not doing one either! Haha. We validate each other !
I'm not doing a veil. They are SO over priced for what they are (just a piece of see through material). And I personally think they can look kinda weird/funny.
Don’t do it if you don’t want to
Girl don’t wear the veil if you don’t want to! 👏🏼
I'm not doing a veil either, getting married in exactly a week😁
My mum had a cheese wedding cake and it was amazing.
Also we are having a little cake and having our desert table.We are having cake, cupcakes, cake pops, shortbread, meringue kisses along with sweets. That is our desert for our meal
Oh my god I got SO MUCH FLACK in a bridal group for saying it was okay for brides to be uncomfortable with a garter toss/not want to do it!! Was told that my boundaries didn't matter, that I was too immature and childish to get married if I wasn't okay with doing it??? Wild how aggressive people get over OTHER PEOPLES' wedding choices
Yessssss!!!! I just got engaged and you listed a bunch of stuff I really didn't want to do and for some reason it felt really nice to have a total stranger on youtube agree with me so THANK YOU. I hate cake! And I have too many close friends to choose a bridal party! You are hilarious!
We didn’t have cake at our wedding! Grandma in law was a little bitter about it and went out to get cake after the wedding 😂
Yes!! Thank you! I'm not having cake at my wedding because I worked as a server at a wedding venue and SOOOOOOOO much cake is wasted. People don't want cake after eating appetizers, getting a drink, AND having a meal. We throw away most of the cake and it's a real shame. Also donuts and other desserts so so delicious, unique, and just not as heavy when you're about to dance.
have you ever seen a wedding where there wasn’t a first dance? i’m planning my wedding right now and the idea of having a first dance makes me feel sick, as someone with anxiety i can’t stand the idea but i feel like everyone would expect it?
you don't have to! i'm the same way and we debated on having one or not. i'm 10000% for making your wedding about you two and things that make sense for you.
Katie Grace thank you! it’s become a real stress since he thinks we should because people will expect it, but it’s just not something i want to do!
Don't do it! If you're not comfortable with it, you will just be constantly stressing about it rather than enjoying your wedding. It might be worth thinking about a meaningful song for both of you play during the "dancing segment" and if you feel like it, have a dance.
Sophie H that’s a great idea! Although I don’t know if we could even come up with one together since our music tastes are sooo different haha
We're not doing ANY dances!
We're doing a grand entrance mainly because my fiance and I are extra as hell. It's something that we're genuinely excited for, and I totally understand how some brides and grooms would not be down for it.
As for garter and bouquet toss, I think we're going to throw them at the same time, and whoever catches what can! Again, we're extra and would love to see our friends Duke it out (even though 90% are happily single and will likely run in the opposite direction 😂)
It's so much fun to see how many traditions are around the glob. I'm personally live in Poland and there's not such thing as grand exit, bride and groom just stays to the end of the party. Registry it's quite rere same as flower girls and ring bearer. And in legal way there is ceremony in a church or with official in city hall (or in any place you want with extra charge). And usually there's something name "oczepiny" which is around 12pm and it's time for games like tossing a bouquet (or a veil, with groom a tie)
My wedding got postponed but I didn’t plan to do a bouquet toss in the original plan. I didn’t even realize that was a tradition I skipped! Still won’t do it haha!
I'm thinking about this one too. Honestly, I would love to preserve my wedding bouquet and I'm not ready to spend more money on the bouquet which I just toss...
My wedding is being postponed too :( but I feel like I can start fresh with my plans and it will hopefully be in spring so more flowers will be available so that’s a plus :)
Just watched three of your videos and appreciate your advice so much. I am happy to know that the things I think are superfluous are ok to skip. And I now know what guests will and won’t care about which will make planning much less burdensome. Kudos for great presentation!
My wedding is going to be simple simple, no bridal party, no kids and only 30 people. I convinced my fiance to get ready with me the morning of the wedding beacuse Im not close with my mother and mot super close with his and my sisters cant even make it. So were going to have a private first look and vows in the hotel room before we leave 🥰
This video makes me feel so much better about my choices! I'm basically already not doing any of those things (except dinner, I am having dinner) and the fee people that are coming keep being shocked at all the things I'm doing nontraditional
My fiancé and I are older. I’ll be 51 when we marry he’ll be 65. We’re marrying in a Vegas wedding chapel with about 10-12 guests. I like the smaller weddings.
My boyfriend and I (whenever the time comes with everything right now) have decided to do a flower dog and ring dog instead of flower girl and ring bearer! Too many small children between our families that it would inevitably hurt feelings and start arguments. So doggo's it is!! 😄
I bought this using the coupon code, and I'm single... this is how you know shelter in place has driven me crazy. I bought it because I wanted to understand weddings as someone who never really cared before Jamie really made it an interesting and exciting topic with all her info on how a wedding is like a symphony and it all works together. It's really useful information.!!! I probably won't need it for longer than a month and debated returning but the info she gives is DEF worth $100. Thanks, Jamie, I love your content!
Thank you for calling me a dedicated student, I feel very special haha
YOU DIDN'T SAY FAVORS!! *gasp* haha :)
Absolutely love your content. Been watching on your personal channel too!
An average UK wedding only has around 80 guests... and 4 bridesmaids/groomsmen. Its wild to think of such a large bridal party and large guest count in general!
Sooo, I've just been named coordinator for a wedding. I'm honored and said yes, before realizing: I actually hate weddings... God I hate them. I think it's a complete waste of time, energy and money. But I see that it's really important to some people and I want the couple to have their special day as great as possible. I try to find out everything about weddings and landed on here. You are amazing Jamie! You would help me a lot, if you could make a video with a few things that are crucial for coordinators to do oder remember. Greets from Switzerland!
LOL My friend is hopefully getting married this year (I say hopefully because of this entire covid *snaps* thing) and we're planning her bachelorette party whether she wants one or not. But basically what we're planning is getting an airbnb with a pool, pigging out on pizza and other favorite foods, drinking some wine and soda and having like a girls night sleep over haha and none of it is coming out of her pocket
Jamie, you can repeat yourself anytime. As a subscriber, I love your channel and content. If it's really important, of course you're going to say it more than once!
Love this video Jamie! For officiant, depends on your state if they accept people that get certificate online (my state has strict rules on officiants). Another note is that my fiancé and I are having mixed gender sides (4 women 1 man for bridal party, 2 women 3 men for groomsmen) it’s all about who you want up there!
We're planning to have tea and the cake in the afternoon after the ceremony. Our package at the venue included dessert and evening snacks, so it felt like too much to have cake after that.
This makes it cheaper as well because no cocktail hour - there will be enough wine and beer for the rest of the evening. Plus, it makes it easier to include kids in this part of the day and then ask that they'll go home for the dinner part of the evening.
I agree with the big guest count or the big bridal party. I live in the south and HUGE bridal parties are so common. But to be honest, those are always the groups that have drama haha I always say to keep it to your best friends.
Could you do a video on how to handle bridesmaids that you now regret asking to be a bridesmaid??😅 my maid of honor is my fiancé’s sister and it seems that she thinks it’s her wedding? Literally everything I do pisses her off and she complains about it to the other bridesmaids. And I. Can’t. Handle. It. Hellllppppp 😐😐😐
Oh gosh that’s terrible lol. I kinda don’t want bridesmaids I asked either. I just prefer my sister and my soon to be sister in law. Rather than them and three friends-ish.
Fire her. Don’t worry about hurting her feelings. She’ll get over it and will learn boundaries!
I’m right there with you on cake. I don’t like cake and when I get married I want to do pie and Christmas cookies (since I wanna get married in December). Cake is over priced and limits you on flavor options IMO. You can get multiple different assortments of pie flavors and cookies for far less.
We are doing bundt cakes for our wedding! And I'm having a Halloween pajama party for my bachelorette super fun but simple!
Thank you so much for this video! I’m supposed to be getting married in August (pending this virus situation). I have so much pressure from friends and family for certain things, and this video just reassured my feelings on some subjects! 💕
Getting married this weekend and I have made all of these choices before seeing you. I am so glad I seen this because I was questioning choices!
The dinner part i feel 100%! Especially when you go from cocktail hour to the boring sit down dinner for over an hour when you really just want to dance. It’s so boring!
Hearing you say that not having a bridal and groom party is fine gives me so much stress relief, the whole gender specific thing is not for us but I’ve felt bad about not doing it. We would rather just do pictures with all of our best friends together!
I am really proud that we did not do most of the things on your list (especially the little kid flower girl. Total fan girl moment but I digress). Thx for giving permission to those engaged couples who strive to have a wedding that is completely their own. ALSO YOUR ENDING IS ADORABLE AND I AM A HUGE FAN OF YOU AND YOUR LIFE AND YOUR BUSINESS
Got suitcases with Macys gift certificates. Nine years later traveling on 2 month trips with those suitcases. We had 25 people of our families and my best friend and her boyfriend.
First minute of your vid and I had to comment: I don't mind the pre-recorded vids one bit! Bring em on!
I love grade exits cuz I want mine to be with lightsabers so I'm totally keeping that but this is super cool cuz their are some things I don't wanna do.
Aww Jamie, I've never seen you look so sad. I want to give you a hug! I'm a bride who had to postpone and yes we totally got this!! Hang in there.
I once saw a picture of a peacock on a cake and the tail was cupcakes and I thought that was fucking genius
Watching all those ads for ya girl ❤️
we're doing a bouquet and garter toss but not until the end so we won't interrupt the dancing. i'm going to just a fake bouquet that looks like mine so i can keep mine 😁
at my venue, the end of the aisle is folding doors that open into our cocktail hour/dinner tables room, so we are just going to go straight to our cocktail hour from the ceremony. we will essentially be the first people at our cocktail hour, and are skipping the grand entrance all together. we are going to get all our photos done beforehand, so we can spend the entirety of our cocktail hour/reception with our guests. we are also skipping a lot of other things that are "traditional". like the bouquet/garter toss, a flower girl, favors, programs, mail in RSVPs (we will have online RSVPs), and excessive toasts. basically, all the things we dont want/dont like at other weddings, we arent doing.
Omg aa soon as i announced my engagement and picked my Maid of Honor she tried taking over my entire wedding....like When we do the bridal entrance i want to walk in to this song and i had to tell her like im not doing a bridal party entrace(like to me its stupid and cringe annnnnd the ceremony is on the same site as venue((cuz also making people drive here and there is ridiculous)) sooo she was all mad then she was mad because i told her i wasnt doing a bouquet toss or garter toss cuz i also think thats gross no man needs to bw under their womans dress in front of their parents and grandparents groossssss. Anyhow literally everyone thinks its their wedding and the endless opinions are giving me PTSD
Love these!! Have you ever seen a Man of Honor? If so, could you do a video or response on nontraditional traditions? (if that makes sense) Thanks!
Yes! I have a man of honor and a maid of honor and it would be so helpful.
We are having one bridesmaid or bridesman each our two daughters and granddaughter are our flower girls, and we are having cupcakes no cake. And as far as bachloret party nope I'm doing a mother daughter spa day with our oldest then we are going to meet up with friends for dinner and a few drinks, last but not least we are having no registry.
THANK YOU FOR SAYING NO CAKE IF YOU DON'T WANT CAKE! 👏👏👏 I keep telling people I don't want a wedding cake because I'm not going to spend an arm and a leg on a desert I don't even care for and they think I'm crazy! "You're at least going to have a cake for you and your hubby to cut, right?" Probably not! What part of I don't care for cake don't y'all understand? Okay sorry. End rant. 🤣
Oh my gosh us too... Thus is literally us. We don't want cake coz neither of us care if it. We definitely don't care for the cake cutting picture either!
We did compromise though (as I mentioned in my comment on this vid) and agree to having a cheese cake, as in cake made of cheese, coz we love cheese. But there will be no photos of us cutting it at all. That we're certain of
I love that video! You should tell the guests beforehand if you make mayor changes to traditions (so that they can e.g. bring swimwear if you have a poolparty or eat before the party if there is no complete meal), but otherwise - there should be something to dring, something to eat, somewhere to sit for the guests. The rest - do what you want! Friends of mine did not have decorations. Was it a great wedding? Yeah! Other friends had the ceremony only the two of them and the guests came later to the party - was still fun! I don't like flowers, I don't want flowers on my wedding. Either will make a bouquet of buttons (I love sewing) or won't have one at all.
I'm from Germany, and in most regions guests do only give money to the bridal couple (cash, nicely decorated, as the cash lovers we Germans are), because nearly all couples live together before getting married. And it's fine. Let them use the money to pay the wedding bills or the honey moon - or do what they want!
Haven’t even listened yet, but I appreciate and need to hear this.
Jamie can you also make a video about how to deal with not having your family’s support in the wedding? My family and I aren’t on great terms due to conflicts and such. It makes me sad that they can’t be on my special day but I’ve already accept that. So my issue is who’s going to walk me down the isle and how (if I should) can explain to my guests that my family won’t be around. I know people will probably ask and I really don’t feel like explaining, but I feel like just letting people know so they won’t have to hush behind my back and asking questions. I’d appreciate it if you have any insights about this issue and if you ever had an event where the family of the bride is not around to support her.
My fiancé and I are having donuts and not doing a garter or bouquet toss.
DDE In a way yes. We are going with fake flowers and I’m going to make a display with my bouquets from my parents wedding, each of my best friends weddings, and my own.
DDE I’ve seen videos of the shoe game. For me I feel like it’s not something I’d do at the reception but I could see it being fun for a co-Ed wedding shower.
Getting married in a couple weeks and we opted to not have a bridal party or bachelorette party, my officiant is my best friend whom has officiated LOTS of weddings, we have 50 guests (perfect size!) and my good friend is our "flower girl" (we will be on a glacier so he will be dancing and throwing small pieces of ice haha). Cant wait!
Completely non wedding related but I would love a video on your personal channel about you birth stories! I just found out I am pregnant and I would love to hear about home birth v. Hospital ❤️love you and your company!!
I’m not doing a bouquet toss of Garter toss. My fiancé and I are just having a small single tier cake that we can cut and then having a dessert table.
Why on earth was I just thinking about where my turquoise ring is and I choose to watch this video and you have the same one!!!
I skipped bouquet toss (didn't want to lose mine, didn't want to spend more money on a toss bouquet) and the garter toss (not my style...I've watched too many awkward ones). No regrets! Love this video...do what you want for YOUR wedding! My ring bearer was also 19 years old--some people raised their eyebrows, but on the day of, it was a lot of people's favorite surprise moment! Everything else was pretty traditional, but it was fun to make these little details "us", and have our wedding be memorable for our guests AND fun for us :)
Edit: we also had a dry wedding! Yes some people will give you a hard time...but I told them we were on a strict budget, didn't want people making the long drive home in bad weather possibly drunk, and have some people in both my husband and I's immediate family that are very against alcohol. The day of, no one said anything, we had lots of coffee, and an awesome dance playlist, and people partied long and hard despite it being a "dry" event. Having alcohol would have cost us easily another $2-3k, plus extra event insurance. not worth it for us
Instead of a ring bearer or flower girl, we're having one of my fiances friends do both. Flower petals and all 😂
Thank you Jamie for all your tips and advice. Started watching your channel when i got engaged last year October. You’ve helped me a lot. Thank you ♥️
Only saw the second intro, but I'm pausing to write this: The top is cute! I had a similar one and I loved it! Wore it until one of the sleeves came off...
Could you make a video how you became a planner ? I always thought that would be a awesome career for me !