I love Gabor Mate, an exceptional human being with great empathic intelligence! An example of the ability to live from the head and the heart simultaneously is a rarity. 🙌🏽
This world is full of trauma. Having an addiction is a strange gift, it makes it VERY apparent that you have issues to deal with. That is if you're lucky enough to survive. I now have 33 years of sobriety and didn't truly start to deal with my issues till about 10 years ago. Sobriety is just the beginning... and life can be joyous!
I seriously can't believe this isn't common knowledge. So many people have died because our society thinks otherwise. Let's look toward a brighter future of understanding, compassion, and tolerance with simultaneously healthy boundaries.
I think so many people walk around seeing others and reacting to others through their own trauma, like they aren’t truly present, truly seeing the person in front of them. It always astonishes me how people don’t see the pain in others’ eyes. I’ve been in psych inpatient 6 times within the last 4 years and majority of the doctors and nurses can’t see the patients, like really see them, beyond our charts and the meds they force us to take. Even expressions of pain is frowned upon - whether it’s breaking down in tears, anger, dissociation… it’s all wrong to them. Without true human connection, how can anyone help anyone else. It’s heartbreaking that the people in positions to help others are often the ones who refuse to connect with those people, so instead of helping they end up traumatising them further.
And just to add… some of the warmest, the most generous and the most empathetic people are the ones I met in psych hospital. They were always trying to help others, trying to give. The most wonderful souls that were completely enveloped in and weighed down by pain of trauma. Turning our backs on people like that is truly our greatest loss, born of ignorance.
@lillmissjoodypoody I wouldn't say it was born out of ignorance (while nodding my head at every other word you write here above), but rather out of repression of their own trauma, like you said before... I recognise my own questions in yours formulated here, like How is it possible, right? That the very people who choose to become professional helpers of people in great pain, just don't know where to find the empathy button in themselves? Freaks me out, every time I talk to a specialist, therapist, doctor... I thought it was just my country (the Netherlands), that is still so traumatized by these harmfully legacies of Calvinism, and of the 2nd world war, now escaping into meritocracy and neo liberalism, making money by having money, putting so many people on the streets, into poverty, voting fascist parties as if it was the most normal thing to do .. But listening to this conversation and others with Gabor, I feel it is a much more common, world wide wind, of repressing pain and an enormous lack of emotional availability of people, a tremendous need for compassion, empathy, so that all this pain finds a safe place to be felt... Conversations like these are so comforting to attend, so helpful. They really model the empathy we all possess and we all need. Good, clear examples of what that may look like, are very needed. Thanks for your thoughtful and spot on comment.
thanks for your reply and sharing your experiences. I’m in Australia and unfortunately it’s like that here too. I often wonder why it happens, why people choose to become a therapist but some don’t realise how much they don’t know and in their ignorance (by that I mean like not knowing what they don’t know) they end up causing harm. It reminds me of the number of male gynaecologists I’ve had in the past who seemed to rely too heavily on their textbook knowledge instead of having an open mind and willingness to listen to their patients’ experiences, where they may find contradictions to what their textbooks taught them. I wonder if a lot of that sort of behaviour is caused by hubris - thinking that one possesses all the information that’s worth knowing and becoming close minded to the possibility of being misinformed or having big knowledge gaps. It probably doesn’t help that society has, up until recently, this reverence for doctors of the body and the mind. I believe in having trust that’s protected by a healthy level of scepticism, where I do my own homework in selecting the medical professional as well as validating what they tell me (esp if the advice doesn’t gel with me, but I’m open to being corrected). I don’t think that one needs to have personal experience in the areas of pathology that they are trained to treat, but they certainly need to have humble respect and desire to listen to others that have personal experience. I hope that you are able to find someone suitable to help you on your journey. Or perhaps one day become that somebody for someone else. Either way, I wish you all the best 🪴
Wow, what a privilege it is to hear this story. I work with folks experiencing homelessness and this gives so much hope. So much love is needed in this world, thank you Guy.
I have been reading hungry ghost and reading about the stories of humans who never had a chance in the early stages of their lives is truly inspiring. It's changed my life and given me a renewed perspective of my own experiences, compassionate inquiry.
Wooouuu..That guy is fascinated! He really should write a book or a Netflix documentary? He can create more magic and healing that way..I think Dr Gabor Maté should win a Nobel Peace for his services for humanity! I am mind blowing with some things, and I am deeply familiar with pain and addiction to sugar in particular! My focus now is also to provide "energy healing" with other holistic approaches, for participants to make their own " spiritual choices".. I hope one day I can have a conversation with Dr Gabor Maté,he doesn't see himself as a "Spiritual Healer", but in reality he is a healing light for humanity..🙏💕😘💠🌺💚🌸
2 beautiful human beings sharing experience and wisdom. We obviously need more people in the world like this. I hope everyone will find the strength to overcome whatever it is that you're struggling with.
Better late than never! I'm taking subs too, and discovered lots of light and love at the end of the tunnel ✨️ Feels good, huh? 😊 Wish you all the best, because you're worth it ❤
Love Dr. Gabor Mate! His past and his story so interesting. He understands pain, suffering and trauma he has indured as an infant at the beginning of life. He knows cause he's lived it. He sees what every psych doctor cannot or will not address, acknowledge, encourage, and explore what the root cause truly is. Thank you for your compassion 🙏 and all the research and work you've put into this. This is starting to make waves of change. Im so very greatful for everything I've learned from following Dr. Gabor Mate. Peace.
I found myself several times in the interview like I was Guy. So much shit happened in my life, for me it's cannabis and I don't know what Guy consumed but believe cannabis fuck you up if you loose control. And I realised through this interview that it's not the weed. It's because I've been in War as a child and my father died defending our family. We flew. And now I know that I definitely need to work on myself, and probably on my past. I feel some kind of anxiety or fear to write about this. But it felt good. Thank you Guy and Dr. Gabor
Sorry for your loss of your dad, he is a hero to sacrifice his life for others, but sadly a greater cost for his family. Your heart is shattered and needs healing. Jay Bartlett does healing ministry if you can ever get to one of his meetings. It's wonderful to see the most broken person become whole again. Take care and live the best life for your dad's sacrifice so that you can. Maybe dad's and mom's shouldn't be sent to combat but in other roles.
Please keep writing! Is a free therapy.. Ground yourself in nature and carry a notebook,to be naked (heart) and do contemplation to tapping through that energy heal.. While you are focusing in grounding yourself imagine to be inside a huge blue bubble! Inside that huge bubble you can expand yourself and have a conversation with your dad, like imagine he is there with you! Or invite him in a humble way,to be with YOU! Open your heart chakra & your throat chakra,to express yourself through love vibration! Refocus your entire essence and beautiful heart to be love,to feel love,to give love,to share love,to be light,to be.. ! ONENESS ! Focus your energy to be: * Compassion.. * Understanding.. * ONENESS.. * Forgiving.. * Embracing.. * Acceptance.. * Love.. * Light.. * Grateful.. * Generous .. * Worthy.. * Balance.. * Courageous.. Because the type of healing your heart requires is very deeply! You can invite the "Spirit World", to guide you,to assist you,to prepare you,to show you,to teach you,to embrace you! Etc,etc.. You can ask in a humble way your angels,to help you hear or see or feel your dad's presence as energy,in a dream or right in front your eyes! Love travels through time & space.. We block that connection when we vibrate through hate,envy,anger, resentment, jealousy,fear,etc,etc.. Find your element to do this simple meditation,usually I guide the participants through water or fire? Either be around nature or using a fire place or water fountains,to facilitate the sound vibration with the natural elements or creating sacred spaces,to tapping into the Spirit World..! Ahhh allow your energy to pickup a crystal,burn incenses and regular candles,be careful course if is inside your house.. Have a peaceful healing journey,for the rest of your life.. KL/ Reiki master & psychic.. Indigenous from Costa Rica..🙏💚🌸
Blessings to you and please invest in your healing now. Agreed, Cannabis is not good long term. Switch to CBD with only low or no dose THC for healing. Get Gabor's books from the library, exercise and take saunas & cold plunges, and allow your body to release so much stored trauma. You are worth it ❤.
Excellent material. This is my life to a T. My family yelled at me to get treatment which I did and it never worked. When I was alone in a hotel and suicidal my '"dad" yelled, "When will you hit bottom?! Call me when you don't have two nickels to rub together". My family is abusive and I finally went "no contact". I thought of sending them this powerful video with a perfect understanding of the "problem" but they are in deep denial. Denial is such a powerful defensive mechanism.
Working on yourself first, until you start recovered and change You cant change other people mind especially parents that have been abusive, they will see sharing this as insult to them Most abusive people have problem with self-esteem, insecurity etc, they project their pain to you, and because you're their child, you cant attack them like other people if they behave the same I just search google about insult coz i experienced it today, and i found out insult is like pecking order behaviour, where one assert the dominance, or sometimes about their insecurity Your parents have their own problem, and they dont know how to handle the way you have been reacting by become addicted etc, so they using aggression to punish you In one of Gabor other interview, he talk about children with AdHD, addiction etc actually usually are sensitive child The child that absorbing the vibes of the family, if the family is not good, the child picking up the stress and they start to have problem (like how the mother and father relationship, financial etc) Work on your self-esteem, just do it first, you truly cant talk with your parents on this if they are the source of your trauma, because what you said will be take by them as insult or something And their rejection of your opinion will hurt ypu more and will lead your addiction go more stronger Gabor mention about being stuck, that you cant fight or flight/run, so you numbing the pain by using drug or any other kind of addiction To ease up the pain
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.sporesss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
I love Gabor Mate, it's great to see Guy Felicella My heart breaks for the addicts who have no access to trauma therapy, as they are stuck in a vicious circle, only another addict would understand how difficult it is for a traumatised-child-turned-addict. Quitting is not enough, you can quit over and over again, you need to get rid of the cause of the addiction.
Thank you so so much for your vulnerability, listening to your story has been so insightful for me. My birth father , who mentally and physically abused my mum and oldest sister and was very tough on me, left our family at a young age, then decided to leave the country, which felt like a double abandonment . My mother was not present, physically and mentally tally in the home as she worked then would go out partying for days, due to her very fragile mental state and addictions . Home was very dysfunctional and neglectful. Then I was taken out of that situation by my aunty (dropped off in another city with an aunt that I didn’t really know, my mum telling me she would be back in a couple of days, she arrived months later, 3rd abandoning experience - from that I got “ im Not good enough”) t) and although not Italian, I was raised by my Greek uncle, and there is definitely no apologies, I was also in fight or flight mode around him, he was scary! lol! It’s not a great start to life and so I understand your story, what a beautiful conversation with Gábor, I adore that man and aspire to be as compassionate as him. there is something very powerful in telling your story and being heard! Thank you for giving back and thank you for being the person who just triggered some light bulb moments for me, those light bulbs have helped to untangle a lot of confusion and when you understand it, then you can heal it. ❤ bless you
What a wonderful interview and watch Gabor as a friend and see his work. True empath with a true vocation...there is hope when there is the right people to lead to the right path
The best part about the start of this conversation/video is that harm reduction works and is a path forward to life long recovery. Love Gabor’s message and that it’s being used in so many facets of recovery and self development.
@@robynhope219 I don’t understand what you are trying to say. Anyway, in Anaïs Nin’s words : “We don’t see things as they are, we see them as WE are.” ❤️
Cant believe this two creatures, im mesmerize, wonderfull to see the unfolding magic of the human details, the quality, rawness and kindness of communication, is beyond, thank you forever
Gabor Mate is my hero, so many things that I share in common with Guy , the self destruction of addiction is not the least, it is comforting to know I am not alone , and although I chose to white knuckle my growth and waited until well after my 15th year of sobriety to actually muster the courage to get a diagnosis and form a ' TREATMENT ' plan , it is inspiring to hear the validations of postive behaviour that I willingly chose to move forward with my life, break the chain of childhood trauma , find positive coping skills and focus on the things that are right, learn from the mistakes and grow from accepting the responsibility of the wrong ... i have travelled a long and lonely road for so long , it really is uplifting to hear others with similar stories and experiences , congrats Guy on your sobriety milestones are definitely markers at the side of the road and should always be acknowledged , it ain't easy being here , but having a reason to believe and carry on is key to success, in my humble opinion
You didn't chose to white knuckle your growth, man, you just didn't feel safe enough before, to explore the most vulnerable parts of your history. We all just do our best to be safe. You might be inspired and feel supported by the new book of Dr. Stephen Porges and his son Seth, called This Polyvagal World. Be kind and compassionate towards yourself. It helps.
Thanks for this great video. Gabor has shown me some years ago how stress and trauma creates disease. I had Ulcerative Colitis and had my colon removed for that. His books are such eyeopeners. And since my brother is an addict, thanks to Gabor's idea I now know how to talk to him which not even his therapists do and thats why he kept going back to drugs. Unfortunately he is still in jail but once he's out I'll be there for him and do what I can with compassion to help him. Thanks again for this great video!
@bigron4021 the two books have personally helped me a lot: - Gabor Maté - Myth of Normal - Gabor Maté- When the body says no Although some of his other books are great, these two applied more to my case
Guy FElicella, hearing you talking about how you papa said he is proud of you, and that he cannot say he is sorry! WOW... I cna see that in my family for sure!!! we were never talked about love when we were kids, and were treated horribly in many ways. TAlking about love was not part of our lives, and I can see how that is a way for them to say what thye CANNOT say. thanks!!
Canada has a much healthier approach to mental health than the US. I haven't ever met anyone in the field here who said and demonstrated that they care about me. They have made me worse by treating me like I'm not valuable enough to give quality care to.
Is this an exception? I'm basing my opinion on Gabor Mate's work, but also I was impressed by a documentary I saw where Canadian high schoolers were taught the cycle of abuse. I thought about my high school in Massachusetts and what an impact that would have made.
@@katydid6920 he is an exceptional man. Canada has the same systemic problems as US. I was raised in Seattle and New York and have lived in Canada for 30 years. My son is bipolar 1 and he is only treated because of a vocal family.
Bravo👏🏼. I'm sure you'll inspire many other people to seek the right help to heal and live a better life. Vancouver has a special place in my heart.🇨🇦♥️🤍 I hope the rest of your life is filled with the love that you were devastatingly deprived of as a child. 💖✨🙏🏼
Thank you both so much for doing this extremely moving, not to mention courageous, video because it's one of the best I've ever seen on this controversial issue and I've watched hundreds by now! I've known for many years through my own immensely painful experience, as well as others, that being dependent on alcohol and/or other drugs, or gambling, or food, or whatever works, is mainly a way of coping with unhealed childhood trauma. I could write a lot more on this subject, but don't have time now. I'll watch the video again though and intend to share and recommend it to as many people as possible in the meantime. ❤
My niece is still in her addiction and in and out of treatment centers. She never gets any therapy. This is ridiculous. This time we’re trying to set her up with online trauma counseling before she goes. It is ridiculous. It is not just one way to recovery. It is many ways. Offer therapy at least with the steps in recovery. Why not?
Sadly I think most governments (and by that I mean the lawmakers, the politicians and lobbyists, even the people that voted for them) do not value all human life equally. The ‘war on drugs’ that’s promoted in most countries around the world is actually a ‘war on the most traumatised PEOPLE’. When we treat people in such an adversarial way that dismisses their innate value for being a person first and foremost, and ignores the painful realities that led them to their addictions, then how can they be affective in making any changes. At this point I think it’s wilful ignorance and possibly a response to their own individual traumas (family systems that demonised people who suffer, who are in pain, seeing them as ‘weak’ and ‘pathetic’), because the _evidence_ is abundant and the logic is sound: that no one wants to pursue these incredibly harmful coping strategies if they didn’t need to, if there was a valid other choice. If they have the opportunity to be heard and seen and form secure attachments with their community. I hope your niece gets the help that she needs. Of course you need to consider your own needs and safety, at the same time I think you may be in a unique position being in her family and community and have this awareness to make a connection with her by first listening to and acknowledging her pain and her painful experiences in a non-judgemental way. In a way that doesn’t internalise things that she may share, and being so close in familial relationship it’s bound to have some connection to your own experiences and relationships with others in the family system. But if you are somehow able to say to yourself and to her that “yes, I can see how this has affected you, how you have come away from your experiences with pain, and I do care very much about you, and I can hold space for you to share these things with me without it negatively affecting my relationship with you” as you would to a good friend who you care about - care about the pain that comes from their reality and perception of events, not caring about whether they are 100% factual in every way, whether the people in those events had intentions that were different to what was perceived by the person. So often we cause pain through good intentions. So often we project our own needs onto others around us - it’s like all the times that my mother would shove food in front of me as her way of loving me but she refused to ever verbally say she loved me or cared about me, and refused to listen and change her style of parenting after I told her that the verbal and physical punishments were hurting me (she thought she was loving and helping me by forcing me to strive for perfection - she was worried that if she didn’t keep the heat on then somehow I would become a failure or something). She gave me what she thought I needed, not what I told her I needed. Then of course she got hurt and angry when I reacted poorly to her ‘acts of love’, when I began to reject her by moving away from her in order to protect myself from that fire. What I would give for anyone within my family system to see and acknowledge that despite my mother’s best intentions, that while it’s true that she loved me, it’s also true that she hurt and traumatised me in the most significant way that led me to my current pain and suffering. What I would give for someone within my family system, whose opinion I subconsciously value the most, because that’s what most people do - we are all children at heart, for them to hold space for my truth and accept me for who I am right now and to not abandon me through their words and actions. Instead, I’ve had to completely cut them all off, because they either continue to psychologically abuse me or they are enabling those who abuse me by excusing their behaviours or ignoring them. I’ve had to do that in order to survive, after 6 psych admissions and 2 suicide attempts since 2019, because I don’t want to suffer in that environment anymore, and I don’t want to expose my children (now 4 and 7) to that environment or to the fear of losing their mother (which my oldest continues to have - she often asks me, are you going to die soon mama? How fucking heartbreaking is that coming from a 7 year old!? She tells her father that she worries that I will die early because of my mental health and physical health issues - all linked to my childhood trauma). If anyone in my family system took the time to work on their own traumas and unhealthy ways of relating to themselves and others, and was willing to at the very least stand by me, it would heal so much more than any drug or healthcare professional ever could. Just a thought. ❤
Is it possible to send her to a non-12 step recovery? I don't know where you live or which state you're sending her to, but there are some non 12-step out there. They're not as common, but they exist. It's crazy to me, that is still the norm. A program developed mostly for men in the 30s. Here we are almost 100 years later. It works great for some people, but it's not for everyone. Personally, I don't like it.
I never knew my dad. Mom collected abusive men. Emotionally abandoned, chronically neglected, and made a parent figure to my younger siblings. Gee… I wonder why I am an alcoholic?
What is available to people in this down town area of Vancouver that they talk about ? if someone wants to get clean and start recovery then what help is available ? If someone is desperate and in pain and wants out then what can they do ?
By helping and loving other's I've been able to heal from childhood traumas. Jesus has had a lot to do with my healing too. My parent's beat me and called me name's from as early as I can remember. They kept me in the basement as a child. Once they tried leaving me on an old dirt road in the middle of nowhere. I've never understood their cruel spirits or their mean nature. Thankfully that wasn't how God created me. Only recently have I stopped helping homeless citizens due to my age, in that I'm unable to defend myself if I had to. Compassion is always the answer. This is how Jesus treated the outcast and homeless. One cannot go wrong emulating the love of Jesus 🙏 I'm mentoring a 9 year neighbor boy now. This is how Jesus chose to ultimately heal my inner child, and it's working wonderfully. I treat him with the dignity and respect that all children should be treated with.
I see your pain and I wish it didn’t happen to you. I am so proud of how far you’ve come, in your own healing as well as breaking that chain of trauma and abuse 🩷
Amen! Praise be to our loving Jesus. With him giving us the Holy Spirit to guide us into helping and loving others! Never give up on our Father ( only Father) in heaven. Share !👍🙏
That's what I've told twelve steppers and anyone else who spoke to me about my "love" of alcohol. I used it to soothe rage and sorrow, but more than anything, I used it to touch, however briefly, any emotion or sensation other than pain and anger. I was the happy drunk. It was, for the longest time, the only way I could feel that way. The last thing I needed was another surrender to something else having power over me. I would have lost myself, entirely, and I probably couldn't have survived that.
Thank you for such a vulnerable and authentic conversation about the real struggles of the human condition and for showing us that in connection, we can truly heal. Love you, Gabor.❤️✨🫶🏽🙏🏾
in southern CA there is an organization called New Beginnings. therapy from them allows you to pay what you can for it ($1, $5 for example). they have other services for homeless people too (Safe Parking program etc.)
Do a little research on him. He's come a long way, accomplished so much, has a wonderful family.... Truly one of humanity's gifted, most compassionate and understanding....as is his entire family 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
I love Gabor Mate, an exceptional human being with great empathic intelligence! An example of the ability to live from the head and the heart simultaneously is a rarity. 🙌🏽
Gabor Mate is the man the world needs. Listening to this conversation brought tears to my eyes. Guy seems like a beautiful human being as well. Love ❤
This is the most real video on the internet right now
This world is full of trauma. Having an addiction is a strange gift, it makes it VERY apparent that you have issues to deal with. That is if you're lucky enough to survive. I now have 33 years of sobriety and didn't truly start to deal with my issues till about 10 years ago. Sobriety is just the beginning... and life can be joyous!
Wow! What a beautiful outlook in life, I never thought it this way?
I seriously can't believe this isn't common knowledge. So many people have died because our society thinks otherwise. Let's look toward a brighter future of understanding, compassion, and tolerance with simultaneously healthy boundaries.
I think so many people walk around seeing others and reacting to others through their own trauma, like they aren’t truly present, truly seeing the person in front of them. It always astonishes me how people don’t see the pain in others’ eyes. I’ve been in psych inpatient 6 times within the last 4 years and majority of the doctors and nurses can’t see the patients, like really see them, beyond our charts and the meds they force us to take. Even expressions of pain is frowned upon - whether it’s breaking down in tears, anger, dissociation… it’s all wrong to them.
Without true human connection, how can anyone help anyone else. It’s heartbreaking that the people in positions to help others are often the ones who refuse to connect with those people, so instead of helping they end up traumatising them further.
And just to add… some of the warmest, the most generous and the most empathetic people are the ones I met in psych hospital. They were always trying to help others, trying to give. The most wonderful souls that were completely enveloped in and weighed down by pain of trauma. Turning our backs on people like that is truly our greatest loss, born of ignorance.
@lillmissjoodypoody I wouldn't say it was born out of ignorance (while nodding my head at every other word you write here above), but rather out of repression of their own trauma, like you said before...
I recognise my own questions in yours formulated here, like How is it possible, right? That the very people who choose to become professional helpers of people in great pain, just don't know where to find the empathy button in themselves?
Freaks me out, every time I talk to a specialist, therapist, doctor... I thought it was just my country (the Netherlands), that is still so traumatized by these harmfully legacies of Calvinism, and of the 2nd world war, now escaping into meritocracy and neo liberalism, making money by having money, putting so many people on the streets, into poverty, voting fascist parties as if it was the most normal thing to do ..
But listening to this conversation and others with Gabor, I feel it is a much more common, world wide wind, of repressing pain and an enormous lack of emotional availability of people, a tremendous need for compassion, empathy, so that all this pain finds a safe place to be felt...
Conversations like these are so comforting to attend, so helpful. They really model the empathy we all possess and we all need. Good, clear examples of what that may look like, are very needed.
Thanks for your thoughtful and spot on comment.
thanks for your reply and sharing your experiences. I’m in Australia and unfortunately it’s like that here too. I often wonder why it happens, why people choose to become a therapist but some don’t realise how much they don’t know and in their ignorance (by that I mean like not knowing what they don’t know) they end up causing harm. It reminds me of the number of male gynaecologists I’ve had in the past who seemed to rely too heavily on their textbook knowledge instead of having an open mind and willingness to listen to their patients’ experiences, where they may find contradictions to what their textbooks taught them. I wonder if a lot of that sort of behaviour is caused by hubris - thinking that one possesses all the information that’s worth knowing and becoming close minded to the possibility of being misinformed or having big knowledge gaps.
It probably doesn’t help that society has, up until recently, this reverence for doctors of the body and the mind. I believe in having trust that’s protected by a healthy level of scepticism, where I do my own homework in selecting the medical professional as well as validating what they tell me (esp if the advice doesn’t gel with me, but I’m open to being corrected).
I don’t think that one needs to have personal experience in the areas of pathology that they are trained to treat, but they certainly need to have humble respect and desire to listen to others that have personal experience.
I hope that you are able to find someone suitable to help you on your journey. Or perhaps one day become that somebody for someone else. Either way, I wish you all the best 🪴
Wow, what a privilege it is to hear this story. I work with folks experiencing homelessness and this gives so much hope. So much love is needed in this world, thank you Guy.
I have been reading hungry ghost and reading about the stories of humans who never had a chance in the early stages of their lives is truly inspiring. It's changed my life and given me a renewed perspective of my own experiences, compassionate inquiry.
Wooouuu..That guy is fascinated! He really should write a book or a Netflix documentary? He can create more magic and healing that way..I think Dr Gabor Maté should win a Nobel Peace for his services for humanity! I am mind blowing with some things, and I am deeply familiar with pain and addiction to sugar in particular! My focus now is also to provide "energy healing" with other holistic approaches, for participants to make their own " spiritual choices"..
I hope one day I can have a conversation with Dr Gabor Maté,he doesn't see himself as a "Spiritual Healer", but in reality he is a healing light for humanity..🙏💕😘💠🌺💚🌸
2 beautiful human beings sharing experience and wisdom. We obviously need more people in the world like this. I hope everyone will find the strength to overcome whatever it is that you're struggling with.
After 25 years battling addiction, I finally suffered through buprenorphine detox and am moving forward.
Better late than never! I'm taking subs too, and discovered lots of light and love at the end of the tunnel ✨️
Feels good, huh? 😊 Wish you all the best, because you're worth it ❤
“ it’s been a lot more work than I anticipated “ 👌 ❤
An amazing and heartwarming journey. Dr Gabor Mate is such a lovely human being. ❤
Love Dr. Gabor Mate! His past and his story so interesting. He understands pain, suffering and trauma he has indured as an infant at the beginning of life. He knows cause he's lived it. He sees what every psych doctor cannot or will not address, acknowledge, encourage, and explore what the root cause truly is. Thank you for your compassion 🙏 and all the research and work you've put into this. This is starting to make
waves of change. Im so very greatful for everything I've learned from following Dr. Gabor Mate. Peace.
I found myself several times in the interview like I was Guy. So much shit happened in my life, for me it's cannabis and I don't know what Guy consumed but believe cannabis fuck you up if you loose control. And I realised through this interview that it's not the weed. It's because I've been in War as a child and my father died defending our family. We flew. And now I know that I definitely need to work on myself, and probably on my past. I feel some kind of anxiety or fear to write about this. But it felt good.
Thank you Guy and Dr. Gabor
Best of Luck!
Sorry for your loss of your dad, he is a hero to sacrifice his life for others, but sadly a greater cost for his family. Your heart is shattered and needs healing. Jay Bartlett does healing ministry if you can ever get to one of his meetings. It's wonderful to see the most broken person become whole again. Take care and live the best life for your dad's sacrifice so that you can. Maybe dad's and mom's shouldn't be sent to combat but in other roles.
Please keep writing! Is a free therapy..
Ground yourself in nature and carry a notebook,to be naked (heart) and do contemplation to tapping through that energy heal..
While you are focusing in grounding yourself imagine to be inside a huge blue bubble! Inside that huge bubble you can expand yourself and have a conversation with your dad, like imagine he is there with you! Or invite him in a humble way,to be with YOU! Open your heart chakra & your throat chakra,to express yourself through love vibration! Refocus your entire essence and beautiful heart to be love,to feel love,to give love,to share love,to be light,to be..
! ONENESS !
Focus your energy to be:
* Compassion..
* Understanding..
* ONENESS..
* Forgiving..
* Embracing..
* Acceptance..
* Love..
* Light..
* Grateful..
* Generous ..
* Worthy..
* Balance..
* Courageous..
Because the type of healing your heart requires is very deeply!
You can invite the "Spirit World", to guide you,to assist you,to prepare you,to show you,to teach you,to embrace you! Etc,etc..
You can ask in a humble way your angels,to help you hear or see or feel your dad's presence as energy,in a dream or right in front your eyes! Love travels through time & space..
We block that connection when we vibrate through hate,envy,anger, resentment, jealousy,fear,etc,etc..
Find your element to do this simple meditation,usually I guide the participants through water or fire? Either be around nature or using a fire place or water fountains,to facilitate the sound vibration with the natural elements or creating sacred spaces,to tapping into the Spirit World..!
Ahhh allow your energy to pickup a crystal,burn incenses and regular candles,be careful course if is inside your house..
Have a peaceful healing journey,for the rest of your life..
KL/ Reiki master & psychic..
Indigenous from Costa Rica..🙏💚🌸
Blessings to you and please invest in your healing now. Agreed, Cannabis is not good long term. Switch to CBD with only low or no dose THC for healing. Get Gabor's books from the library, exercise and take saunas & cold plunges, and allow your body to release so much stored trauma. You are worth it ❤.
Thank you guys. You're inspiring! 💙❤
Thank you for sharing your inspiring journey of recovery. What a gift to have had Gabor play a part in your healing.
Indeed! 😉💚🙏🙏🙏
I totally agree with you and was mesmerised watching the vitally important video! 😊
Thank you so much for this conversation and your vulnerability ❤
Excellent material. This is my life to a T. My family yelled at me to get treatment which I did and it never worked. When I was alone in a hotel and suicidal my '"dad" yelled, "When will you hit bottom?! Call me when you don't have two nickels to rub together". My family is abusive and I finally went "no contact". I thought of sending them this powerful video with a perfect understanding of the "problem" but they are in deep denial. Denial is such a powerful defensive mechanism.
Working on yourself first, until you start recovered and change
You cant change other people mind especially parents that have been abusive, they will see sharing this as insult to them
Most abusive people have problem with self-esteem, insecurity etc, they project their pain to you, and because you're their child, you cant attack them like other people if they behave the same
I just search google about insult coz i experienced it today, and i found out insult is like pecking order behaviour, where one assert the dominance, or sometimes about their insecurity
Your parents have their own problem, and they dont know how to handle the way you have been reacting by become addicted etc, so they using aggression to punish you
In one of Gabor other interview, he talk about children with AdHD, addiction etc actually usually are sensitive child
The child that absorbing the vibes of the family, if the family is not good, the child picking up the stress and they start to have problem (like how the mother and father relationship, financial etc)
Work on your self-esteem, just do it first, you truly cant talk with your parents on this if they are the source of your trauma, because what you said will be take by them as insult or something
And their rejection of your opinion will hurt ypu more and will lead your addiction go more stronger
Gabor mention about being stuck, that you cant fight or flight/run, so you numbing the pain by using drug or any other kind of addiction
To ease up the pain
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.sporesss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is. dr.sporesss
I love Gabor Mate, it's great to see Guy Felicella My heart breaks for the addicts who have no access to trauma therapy, as they are stuck in a vicious circle, only another addict would understand how difficult it is for a traumatised-child-turned-addict. Quitting is not enough, you can quit over and over again, you need to get rid of the cause of the addiction.
What a great dude
Thank you so so much for your vulnerability, listening to your story has been so insightful for me. My birth father , who mentally and physically abused my mum and oldest sister and was very tough on me, left our family at a young age, then decided to leave the country, which felt like a double abandonment . My mother was not present, physically and mentally tally in the home as she worked then would go out partying for days, due to her very fragile mental state and addictions . Home was very dysfunctional and neglectful. Then I was taken out of that situation by my aunty (dropped off in another city with an aunt that I didn’t really know, my mum telling me she would be back in a couple of days, she arrived months later, 3rd abandoning experience - from that I got “ im
Not good enough”) t) and although not Italian, I was raised by my Greek uncle, and there is definitely no apologies, I was also in fight or flight mode around him, he was scary! lol! It’s not a great start to life and so I understand your story, what a beautiful conversation with Gábor, I adore that man and aspire to be as compassionate as him. there is something very powerful in telling your story and being heard! Thank you for giving back and thank you for being the person who just triggered some light bulb moments for me, those light bulbs have helped to untangle a lot of confusion and when you understand it, then you can heal it. ❤ bless you
What a wonderful interview and watch Gabor as a friend and see his work. True empath with a true vocation...there is hope when there is the right people to lead to the right path
Great conversation. Two gentlemen doing amazing work 👏
The best part about the start of this conversation/video is that harm reduction works and is a path forward to life long recovery. Love Gabor’s message and that it’s being used in so many facets of recovery and self development.
Dr Gabe is a super hero
Ridicule is a powerful, painful experience.
Excellent stuff. The beauty of UA-cam is here. People can just listen and learn. Does alot of good.
Dr Gabor Mate is a true gift to the world ! Such a loving and amazing converstion, thank you Guy and Gabor !❤
I bet you GM paid Guy for this...anything to boost his image.
@@robynhope219 I don’t understand what you are trying to say. Anyway, in Anaïs Nin’s words : “We don’t see things as they are, we see them as WE are.” ❤️
@@penelopeperez5349 trite nonsense...I say it as it is...
Cant believe this two creatures, im mesmerize, wonderfull to see the unfolding magic of the human details, the quality, rawness and kindness of communication, is beyond, thank you forever
Gabor Mate is my hero, so many things that I share in common with Guy , the self destruction of addiction is not the least, it is comforting to know I am not alone , and although I chose to white knuckle my growth and waited until well after my 15th year of sobriety to actually muster the courage to get a diagnosis and form a ' TREATMENT ' plan , it is inspiring to hear the validations of postive behaviour that I willingly chose to move forward with my life, break the chain of childhood trauma , find positive coping skills and focus on the things that are right, learn from the mistakes and grow from accepting the responsibility of the wrong ... i have travelled a long and lonely road for so long , it really is uplifting to hear others with similar stories and experiences , congrats Guy on your sobriety milestones are definitely markers at the side of the road and should always be acknowledged , it ain't easy being here , but having a reason to believe and carry on is key to success, in my humble opinion
I couldn't agree more! Getting sober is just the beginning...
You didn't chose to white knuckle your growth, man, you just didn't feel safe enough before, to explore the most vulnerable parts of your history. We all just do our best to be safe.
You might be inspired and feel supported by the new book of Dr. Stephen Porges and his son Seth, called This Polyvagal World.
Be kind and compassionate towards yourself. It helps.
I listen to this conversation again and again because it really moves me deeply! ❤Thanks so much! ❤
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Thanks for this great video. Gabor has shown me some years ago how stress and trauma creates disease. I had Ulcerative Colitis and had my colon removed for that. His books are such eyeopeners. And since my brother is an addict, thanks to Gabor's idea I now know how to talk to him which not even his therapists do and thats why he kept going back to drugs. Unfortunately he is still in jail but once he's out I'll be there for him and do what I can with compassion to help him. Thanks again for this great video!
Which books of his would you recommend?
@bigron4021 the two books have personally helped me a lot: - Gabor Maté - Myth of Normal
- Gabor Maté- When the body says no
Although some of his other books are great, these two applied more to my case
Thank you so much for this
Two great teachers teaching us!!! Thanxxxxxxxxx a million
wow what an incredible story of Guy and Dr Matè 🙏talk about divine intervention ❤
What a beautiful exchange!
❤ Everyone needs to watch this. We are all one race-the human race. Every one of us was born with the capacity to show loving kindness.
Should say Everyone, not "Eceryone
So true!❤ thank you for those words❤
Beautiful, highly informative & Wise conversation! ❤
Thank you both 💓
Two of my most admired people on this planet. Love this discussion! Experts on Harm Reduction. God bless you both!
Guy FElicella, hearing you talking about how you papa said he is proud of you, and that he cannot say he is sorry! WOW... I cna see that in my family for sure!!! we were never talked about love when we were kids, and were treated horribly in many ways. TAlking about love was not part of our lives, and I can see how that is a way for them to say what thye CANNOT say. thanks!!
Tive que parar o video pra chorar quando ele fala sobre a relacao do pai dele com seus filhos (avô/netos) que ele queria ter tido aquilo.
Thank you for sharing this amazing video! ❤ Bless you both, I am grateful for people like you and stories like yours. Thank you!
Well done on your recovery. From scotland
I have been waiting to hear this interview. So powerful!❤
Beautiful! ❤
🙏🏽
What an amazing people you are🙏
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you for sharing❤
Oh so true and wise
Canada has a much healthier approach to mental health than the US. I haven't ever met anyone in the field here who said and demonstrated that they care about me. They have made me worse by treating me like I'm not valuable enough to give quality care to.
It's not that great
Is this an exception?
I'm basing my opinion on Gabor Mate's work, but also I was impressed by a documentary I saw where Canadian high schoolers were taught the cycle of abuse. I thought about my high school in Massachusetts and what an impact that would have made.
@@katydid6920 he is an exceptional man. Canada has the same systemic problems as US. I was raised in Seattle and New York and have lived in Canada for 30 years. My son is bipolar 1 and he is only treated because of a vocal family.
Bravo👏🏼. I'm sure you'll inspire many other people to seek the right help to heal and live a better life.
Vancouver has a special place in my heart.🇨🇦♥️🤍
I hope the rest of your life is filled with the love that you were devastatingly deprived of as a child. 💖✨🙏🏼
Deeply deeply moved 🥲🥲😭🥲😊. “It was a lot more work than I had anticipated “. Love love love💜💜💜💜
Thank you🥹🥹🥹❤❤❤
Loved every second of this
Best vid of 2024 already
awesome story! So happy for Guy.
Thank you🙏🌸
Beautiful thanks for sharing your story
Loved this. Thank you!
Thanks for sharing this
Thank you for sharing your experiences!
Good stuff
Wonderfull man
This has been very insightful
Thank you for sharing
beautiful
LIFE LOVES US ❤
Thank you both so much for doing this extremely moving, not to mention courageous, video because it's one of the best I've ever seen on this controversial issue and I've watched hundreds by now!
I've known for many years through my own immensely painful experience, as well as others, that being dependent on alcohol and/or other drugs, or gambling, or food, or whatever works, is mainly a way of coping with unhealed childhood trauma.
I could write a lot more on this subject, but don't have time now. I'll watch the video again though and intend to share and recommend it to as many people as possible in the meantime. ❤
Love this
Fabulous content Guy!! Love Gabor!!
Grief trauma ADBANDOMENT 💔 please come to perth dr mate..😊
That was wonderful!!!
A very nice talk and well worth to put this up. (To say the least of it may be..)
Kazalla! Schön Thorsten Legat mal wieder zu sehen.
Amazing
Aren’t feelings such a huge part of life? We just search for a way to feel all the time
what friends used to do back in my day
My niece is still in her addiction and in and out of treatment centers. She never gets any therapy. This is ridiculous. This time we’re trying to set her up with online trauma counseling before she goes. It is ridiculous. It is not just one way to recovery. It is many ways. Offer therapy at least with the steps in recovery. Why not?
Sadly I think most governments (and by that I mean the lawmakers, the politicians and lobbyists, even the people that voted for them) do not value all human life equally. The ‘war on drugs’ that’s promoted in most countries around the world is actually a ‘war on the most traumatised PEOPLE’. When we treat people in such an adversarial way that dismisses their innate value for being a person first and foremost, and ignores the painful realities that led them to their addictions, then how can they be affective in making any changes. At this point I think it’s wilful ignorance and possibly a response to their own individual traumas (family systems that demonised people who suffer, who are in pain, seeing them as ‘weak’ and ‘pathetic’), because the _evidence_ is abundant and the logic is sound: that no one wants to pursue these incredibly harmful coping strategies if they didn’t need to, if there was a valid other choice. If they have the opportunity to be heard and seen and form secure attachments with their community.
I hope your niece gets the help that she needs. Of course you need to consider your own needs and safety, at the same time I think you may be in a unique position being in her family and community and have this awareness to make a connection with her by first listening to and acknowledging her pain and her painful experiences in a non-judgemental way. In a way that doesn’t internalise things that she may share, and being so close in familial relationship it’s bound to have some connection to your own experiences and relationships with others in the family system. But if you are somehow able to say to yourself and to her that “yes, I can see how this has affected you, how you have come away from your experiences with pain, and I do care very much about you, and I can hold space for you to share these things with me without it negatively affecting my relationship with you” as you would to a good friend who you care about - care about the pain that comes from their reality and perception of events, not caring about whether they are 100% factual in every way, whether the people in those events had intentions that were different to what was perceived by the person.
So often we cause pain through good intentions. So often we project our own needs onto others around us - it’s like all the times that my mother would shove food in front of me as her way of loving me but she refused to ever verbally say she loved me or cared about me, and refused to listen and change her style of parenting after I told her that the verbal and physical punishments were hurting me (she thought she was loving and helping me by forcing me to strive for perfection - she was worried that if she didn’t keep the heat on then somehow I would become a failure or something). She gave me what she thought I needed, not what I told her I needed. Then of course she got hurt and angry when I reacted poorly to her ‘acts of love’, when I began to reject her by moving away from her in order to protect myself from that fire.
What I would give for anyone within my family system to see and acknowledge that despite my mother’s best intentions, that while it’s true that she loved me, it’s also true that she hurt and traumatised me in the most significant way that led me to my current pain and suffering. What I would give for someone within my family system, whose opinion I subconsciously value the most, because that’s what most people do - we are all children at heart, for them to hold space for my truth and accept me for who I am right now and to not abandon me through their words and actions. Instead, I’ve had to completely cut them all off, because they either continue to psychologically abuse me or they are enabling those who abuse me by excusing their behaviours or ignoring them. I’ve had to do that in order to survive, after 6 psych admissions and 2 suicide attempts since 2019, because I don’t want to suffer in that environment anymore, and I don’t want to expose my children (now 4 and 7) to that environment or to the fear of losing their mother (which my oldest continues to have - she often asks me, are you going to die soon mama? How fucking heartbreaking is that coming from a 7 year old!? She tells her father that she worries that I will die early because of my mental health and physical health issues - all linked to my childhood trauma). If anyone in my family system took the time to work on their own traumas and unhealthy ways of relating to themselves and others, and was willing to at the very least stand by me, it would heal so much more than any drug or healthcare professional ever could.
Just a thought. ❤
Is it possible to send her to a non-12 step recovery? I don't know where you live or which state you're sending her to, but there are some non 12-step out there. They're not as common, but they exist. It's crazy to me, that is still the norm. A program developed mostly for men in the 30s. Here we are almost 100 years later. It works great for some people, but it's not for everyone. Personally, I don't like it.
Realness.
I never knew my dad. Mom collected abusive men. Emotionally abandoned, chronically neglected, and made a parent figure to my younger siblings. Gee… I wonder why I am an alcoholic?
Gabor Mate MD PhD ❤
What is available to people in this down town area of Vancouver that they talk about ? if someone wants to get clean and start recovery then what help is available ? If someone is desperate and in pain and wants out then what can they do ?
I'm still waiting on the answer myself
By helping and loving other's I've been able to heal from childhood traumas. Jesus has had a lot to do with my healing too. My parent's beat me and called me name's from as early as I can remember. They kept me in the basement as a child. Once they tried leaving me on an old dirt road in the middle of nowhere. I've never understood their cruel spirits or their mean nature. Thankfully that wasn't how God created me. Only recently have I stopped helping homeless citizens due to my age, in that I'm unable to defend myself if I had to. Compassion is always the answer. This is how Jesus treated the outcast and homeless. One cannot go wrong emulating the love of Jesus 🙏 I'm mentoring a 9 year neighbor boy now. This is how Jesus chose to ultimately heal my inner child, and it's working wonderfully. I treat him with the dignity and respect that all children should be treated with.
God bless you. You are inspiring me to stop seeing my childhood pain and reach out to help others 💜
I see your pain and I wish it didn’t happen to you. I am so proud of how far you’ve come, in your own healing as well as breaking that chain of trauma and abuse 🩷
Amen! Praise be to our loving Jesus. With him giving us the Holy Spirit to guide us into helping and loving others! Never give up on our Father ( only Father) in heaven. Share !👍🙏
That's what I've told twelve steppers and anyone else who spoke to me about my "love" of alcohol. I used it to soothe rage and sorrow, but more than anything, I used it to touch, however briefly, any emotion or sensation other than pain and anger. I was the happy drunk. It was, for the longest time, the only way I could feel that way.
The last thing I needed was another surrender to something else having power over me. I would have lost myself, entirely, and I probably couldn't have survived that.
GABOR I LOOOOOOOOVE YOU❣
Great beauty
At 30:13 what did Gabor mean when he said “they also made the battles necessary”?
❤
Thank you for such a vulnerable and authentic conversation about the real struggles of the human condition and for showing us that in connection, we can truly heal. Love you, Gabor.❤️✨🫶🏽🙏🏾
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
♥️💐🌷🌹🌷💐♥️🤗
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Where on this planet can a homeless person get real trauma therapy with the resources that they have? As far as i know its expensive?
in southern CA there is an organization called New Beginnings. therapy from them allows you to pay what you can for it ($1, $5 for example). they have other services for homeless people too (Safe Parking program etc.)
There's a 12step group for everything.... emotions, alcohol, drugs, gambling, overeating, sexual abuse....
At no charge! They pass the basket for donation.... which goes to literature table and coffee
The fluoride stare is sadly the most common response from medical government education systems 😳☠️
Gabor looks drawn, sallow, worn out
He needs to quit and go spend the last part of his life with his wife in a beautiful, warm land
🙏
11:04
48:50
Where does one get a job when u are recovering
What happens if u got alot conclusions..like 4 or 5 what that do to my brain
🇬🇧✨🇨🇦
Hopeless to get continuity viewing podcasts since NBN introduction
Gabor looks like a zombie. Instead of saving others he should look at helping himself.
He's 80 years old and still totally lucid and at the top of his mental game, what on earth are you talking about
It's not nice to should on others or self.
Do a little research on him. He's come a long way, accomplished so much, has a wonderful family....
Truly one of humanity's gifted, most compassionate and understanding....as is his entire family 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
But the eyes are blind. One must see with the heart. ~ The Little Prince
@@Seearacc7799
Wisdom is the principal thing, therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding ~ Proverbs 4:7
Guys you do great ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤