my social anxiety only healed when i decided travel the world alone, and exposing myself to people, so there was a kind of desensitization process when interacting with other people..
My social anxiety disappeared when I started working and was forced to interact with customers. I remember when I first started it was painful and I handing back change and my whole arm was shaking and customer just looked at me. But after a few months it started disappearing and eventually I became the person inside I always felt I was able to interact with people not afraid. The only way to get through it is to constantly expose yourself to it. So if you feel good you should get yourself out there more and get your brain accustomed to talking to people while you have the courage. And even if you don’t just do it anyways I had to embarrass myself constantly with my body shaking but I didn’t die and I am sure that random person forgot about it years later.
I've interacted with the same type of customers for 10 years and I still get that rush and don't know what to say.. Goddammit good for you man I keep telling myself it'll get easier
Exactly this, and whenever you do it, keep posting about it and we will cheer you on and give you tonnes of positive approval and debrief, so you will get reward mentally for it.
One of the toughest things about having social anxiety is feeling like you're all alone. Like you said, nobody understands. If you don't have social anxiety, you cannot possibly know what it's like. I'm 23 and it's been controlling my life for as long as I can remember. I've never gotten professional help for it but I think that's gonna need to change in the near future because I'm sick of living like this. My best friend of 6 years and I aren't on speaking terms right now so I feel more alone than ever. I never felt like I had her full support with my anxiety. She cares for me and has tried to help me but there's always been this lingering feeling where I feel like part of her judges me for it. Sometimes she'll "snap" and say something like "How can you not get a job? It should be so easy, everyone does it." and that shit eats me alive because she just doesn't get it. I've never been closer with anyone in my life than I am (or was I guess) with her yet even she didn't fully support me because she doesn't understand. I'm just so fucking sick and tired of being isolated and feeling like I'm living in an echo chamber. I would give anything to be understood and to be rid of this awful disorder.
Even a minor thyroid hormone imbalance can and usually does cause sub optimal testosterone levels which would explain the anxiety and depressed moods. Just a thought
@@benweinzierl3637 It's been a lifelong thing. I didn't realize there was a name for it until I was 20, but I've been like this my whole life. I'm pretty sure my thyroid is fine
Hey ben! We went to high school together. It's cool seeing you be open and vulnerable! I had/have bad social anxiety. I had it in hs and I totally get your journey. I remember feeling like a self inflicted outcast in that big school. I myself didnt know where I belonged. Its interesting seeing people you went to hs with the same things. It can feel lonely. Thanks for being open.
Yeah I hear you man. I'm 27 and have had social anxiety since my teenage years. Quarantine has actually helped me gain perspective... I think there are certain personality types that are just more prone to developing SA... the sensitive, caring, others-focused, and kind people. Most people I think just don't really don't care about other people and what they think of them. We need to somehow keep our caring nature while also learning to simply not give a shit what others think of us. They think we're stupid? Ok, whatever, they're wrong. They think we're weird? Screw em'... I'll find people who don't think Im weird. They think we're weak? They don't know us.
I find it better and more effective to do the following, 'they think i'm stupid?' - 'who the fuck is this guy' - demeaning comment. 'you're wierd' - look down on them - 'think your weak'? 'Try me.' The cure to social anxiety is being able to accept yourself as a bad guy. It doesn't meant you cant be principled.
what's helping out mentally is knowing that there's a ton of people out there that are struggling with social anxiety you gotta tell yourself maybe I'm not alone in this struggle a lot of people are just as scared as you making eye contact in a grocery store, that kinda helps me out and I try to be the better of everyone in the room if that makes sense.
Three steps for me that definitely helped. 1 - Admitting that I have slight social anxiety. 2 - Understanding that most people enjoy conversation. 3 - Being ok with expressing your personality to anyone, obviously that is easier said then done but you have to start small and challenge yourself as Ben said with improv. I also feel the more I talk about this issue the easier it is to face. I currently work at a grocery store and it really started when I was a cashier and just started feeling waves of feeling like I couldnt control my breathing, focus and balance, I would even start sweating at times, and it was strange because it would come and go but I was able to somewhat control it between customers by recovering my breathing and heart rate. It was a HUGE challenge at first but the more I did it the better I became at it. I ended up moving departments and worked in the meat department which is way more fun and a good balance between working on my own and with customers which I find to be the best for me. So I geuss my full message is find a balance if you are essentially forced into a situation (work) that is giving you high social anxiety. Hope this helped, much love.
I totally get it!! It's refreshing to hear someone else's story. We're not alone, even when it feels overwhelmingly true so much of the time. Connecting is my biggest struggle. It's something that will always be a battle, but I am trying to learn how to master the "game", so I can actually breathe without questioning every single aspect of myself.
I’ve had social anxiety since I was 12 years old, I’m 24 now. I was very popular in elementary school and full of confidence. I don’t know what the fuck happened.
Omg I laughed so hard when you said "going up to the cashier." This is sooooo true!!! And its so weird because having social anxiety I think to myself "talking to that person is REALLY no big deal." But, it is.... lol I try to sike myself out all the time but it doesn't work.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy CBT really helped me get through a really tough time that I was having with my social anxiety disorder. I wish I could have had the treatment for longer. It helped also helped a lot with my emetaphobia (phobia of vomiting). I would really recommend asking about CBT and how many sessions you could get for an anxiety disorder. Going through the beliefs about negative judgements from others and even about yourself, and then doing some exposure with someone you trust (a therapist), really helps! I wouldn't cross out talking therapy, it can help.
Thank you for making these videos. It has brought us so much closer together. And your right, it’s been so tough socializing with people. But keep going on your journey, you’re doing great. Stay safe everyone and I hope everyone has an amazing journey
Hey there, I wish you luck on your journey. A few years back, my social anxiety had consumed my life. Small things like, trying to order something from a restaurant and having to go through drive thru lane. Took everything in me to get in the lane. Countless of times, I've skipped something just to avoid the situation. I totally understand you! Today, at age 25, I'm definitely at another place in my life. In my case, what has helped me, was to throw myself out there! Forced myself to interact with people and work specifically in customer service. Cried myself to sleep sometimes but, proud of where I am today. I still have my moments but I know I'm still growing. I know the feeling, I wish everyone struggling all the luck in the world:) don't give up!
Hey do you think you could share some of the things you did when throwing yourself out there? I tried that for months but I still struggle to even make small talk and click with people. Do you have any advice from your experience?
@@hihirblx It's not easy at all, as I'm sure you know. "Small" things like forcing yourself to raise your hand to present first to get it over with. When you want to get a burger and have to get in line, your head may be telling you "no.. nevermind." But, put ALL your will and energy to get in that line. This applies to everything you want to do but, social anxiety gets in the way. I've worked in retail from the day I turned 18. I knew that I needed help but I didn't have it in me to ask for help so, I helped myself. I think one of my college professors saw me struggling and one day she took me outside the class and told me, "fake it till you make it." And as much as those words hurt me, I incorporated them in some of the things I did. For example, my job. Everyday in my car, before I stepped into the building of my work, I cried and I would tell myself things like "you can make it through today, it'll be okay" I took it one day at a time. I would come home drained from everyone and everything. But that feeling slowly started to go away. As cliché as it sounds, you just have to believe in yourself and fake it till you make it. You may feel uncomfortable but before you know it, you'll realize that you are no longer the person you were before 1 month ago.. 1 year ago.. 5 years ago! You'll be proud of how far you've made it. Also, I've learned smiling goes a long away. I'm no good at small talk but, I've recently gotten into reading some books about small talk and creating conversation and they also give out good advice. Small talk is an actual skill so, don't feel bad about it. Good luck to you!
Thanks it really helped 💛 cried myself to sleep last night , i've been struggling lately as i have decided to thrust myself out of my comfort zone by taking up an internship at a company without my friends , sitting alone at lunch is still the most awkward part though , hopefully the remaining 5 weeks go by in a blink of an eye 🌸🌸
hey bro i just want to say ive watched all your vids and what stood out for me is the little things like going to do shopping at the supermarket just simple things even just walking out the door to put the trash out feeling that overwhelming rush. I also have trouble talking to people and I mumble alot because my mouth goes dry and tense and I end up feeling stuck and its like you can see it all over the person's face your talking to you. My eyes start twitching and my legs feel like there about to give out thanks for sharing your videos.
I have been battling social anxiety for 17 long years... Attributed to a situation that gave me severe PTSD. It's awful, wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. But as the old saying goes: there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Very true, when you surround yourself around LOTS and positivity and people who uplift you more than challenge you. But I do miss my old life; going to the movies opening weekend without a care in the world, etc. It is a struggle, but not something you won't overcome.
I'm glad you're doing better. I think the biggest relief is just reminding yourself that you're not the only one. You're very relatable and funny lol when we have this idea that we're supposed to reach a certain standard and be a certain way we feel pressured instead of just allowing ourselves to be human. I've definitely done that thing where a waiter at a restaurant says "ok enjoy" and I'm like "you too!" Lol like what?? 😂 I just laugh. We shouldn't take ourselves too seriously
I agree a lot of my social anxiety goes away when i just find a way to laugh about it and not take things so seriously and just realize you always got yourself and you should try and love and laugh at yourself
I’m 21 and i feel like this is the direction I’m going in. I understand your words in my heart. I try to put my myself out there and do things well outside my comfort zone ... my heart starts beating so fast for no reason. It’s a weird type of anxiety but it’s something we have to work through. Keep going ! I will if you do
you are too young for trt. Semen retention will help alleviate the symptoms of social anxiety. Semen retention means not watching porn and no masturbation for months or years. Retain your seed as long as you can. Watch semen retention video on you tube. Hope this helps.
I have been living with social anxiety for such a long time that I don't even remember exactly when it started. The surrounding I grew up with has always been stigmatizing of mental health. Like everyone I felt like no one cared or understood what I was going through. Also I have lot of insecurities and self-esteem problems. My family is one of the most extroverted and social creatures. Meanwhile I always had no friends and no social life because I was an introvert and I had social anxiety all along. My family always tells me to socialize with my neighbors and people around (since I am living alone far away from them) as they know I won't lol. But how do I tell them I have a severe social anxiety. Everyday I tell myself some positive affirmations to stay motivated and try my best in Hope of overcoming all of it. There are some days when I feel like I have finally learned and have overcome it, it is at that moment when I relapse to where I was and feel like I did everything for nothing. I have couple of close friends who understands me and are always there whenever I feel this way. So grateful to have them in my life but still at the end of the day I have to do this all own my own.
This is for all guys that might be wondering how to get over this. GET INTO Brazilian Jiu Jitsu or Muay Thai (boxing is a good 3rd option as well). It is a group activity and you will have to deal with people. Making conversation will mostly revolve around what's going on in class.
Stress fucks with anxiety so bad, theyre strongly linked. I never experienced as much social anxiety as when I was going through a horrible break up-and going through senior year of college- Just take time to deal with stress and it'll help the anxiety.
I just have to say I hope you jumped into that improve class or planning on still doing so! Theatre in high school helped me with my social anxiety tremendously. Hope you are doing well. 🙏🏻
Hey Ben, I hope you are keeping well. I hope you manage to conquer your anxiety someday. I'm waiting to go to the opticians in the next hour and after being in lockdown for nearly 3 months I feel sick just going into a place like that..
Its amazing nowdays how messed up we are as humans yet we have the best lifestyle / comforts in any generation. And the answer to any 'problem' is usually doctor led pills as an " answer ".
Very rarely do I get that rush to live life, but when I do, I want to have it 24/7. It's such a better feeling than walking into a room full of people wondering where I'll fit in lol
I have social anxiety, anxiety, bipolar, depression, ED i mean the list goes on lol. Door dash is the right job for ppl with social anxiety. I couldn’t hold a job for more than a couple months before quitting. But also with social anxiety i not only stutter sometimes but walk weird at times because it’s just so awkward lol(like at Walmart where theres so many ppl) i just found your channel and I love it!
This is interesting suggestion. Unfortunately I get anxiety driving. Yesterday I had a breakdown it was so overwhelming. And shortly after I almost got crushed by a train track pole thing. But after that experience and reflecting that everything turned out ok. I felt better
OMG I know what you're talking about when you say that you’ll tell a lie and not even mean to or know why you lied. I don't take meds for my social anxiety and I don't know much about the ones you're taking but I'm just glad you're doing okay.
Ben, your videos are very relatable. Though I will say just from my experience many people dont keep friends after college or even high school. The world can be very disconnected so dont fault yourself too much for that. On a side note, you mentioned employment in one of your videos and I wanted to make a suggestion. Whatever state your in should have a vocational rehabilitation agency. They assist individuals with physical or mental health conditions. While you may not need further training or anything like that, they may be able to find an employment for you to work in that will work with you and understand your anxiety. They usually follow along with you until you've been employed for a certain amount of time to provide further assistance if needed. If you want more information on that just let me know and maybe I can help.
Hi Ben, just came across your channel. I totally feel you with the accidental lie thing. It doesnt happen often, but when it does, I'm so surprised at myself for doing it. Bc it's not planned whatsoever and I'm not trying to manipulate anyone. I dont always have social anxiety, I love parties and people, but my twin sister and I feel like we need to be entertaining and making others feel happy/comfortable even when it's not at our house. We're completely drained for a good two days afterwards bc our energy is so spiked during those interactions with friends..
Social anxiety hits me the hardest when it stops me from saying all the things I truly want to say in that moment in time when I talk to someone. My mind wants to say so many articulate things but my mouth doesn’t let me and it makes me seem dumb in whatever topic it is. I fucking hate that aspect of social anxiety.
This is exactly how i felt. I take quite a bit more testosterone than he does (400mg per week), but the result is i say whatever is on my mind and it feels amazing to do so
I also find that i dont overthink what others say, and i am comftrobale with making fun of myself (no longer insecure). Not promoting steroid use, but its honestly changed my life
Hi ben. I'm 58 im a widow I broke up with my high school sweetheart back in Dec. My late husband made me get rid of my friends. I am now so lonely and I would do anything for a friend.
I’m going to a concert tonight with my friends and I don’t really want to go cause ima get anxious around people, especially when it comes to girls, I can’t even talk to girls shit is hard
@@benmayz202 dude I need this in my life haha iam 30 and depressed af but the normal trt is 150-175 right? Youre doing blood test regular? Most people are doing 250 mgs as a beginner cycle for 12 weeks or something and then come off or lower te dose to 150
I'm 24. I have severe social anxiety.. no friends.. and it only gets worse as I get older.. and the overwhelming sense of anxiety is hard to mask and I know people notice but what they don't notice is how hard I'm trying to overcome it.. I haven't taken anything to help me with it but as I'm alone i often burst into tears contemplating what's wrong with me and why I am this way... Please help me..
I’m 24 and I kid you not you’re my twin. It sucks man I wish I was normal. As an adult it’s super annoying to be that one “weird guy” I’m not stupid but the way it manifests itself physically it makes me seem “off”. And at the end of the day perception is reality. Wish you the best brother I love you
I honestly suffer from social anxiety myself. The the thing that helps me most is lift heavy weights/physical excretion. and try phenibut dose once a week during social interactions. Stay away from alcohol in high doses. Love ❤️
Let's be friends!! I was recommended the original video you posted about friend making. I feel this on a deep level. I'm 27 and in the same general boat. Hope you are doing well as this video was months ago!!❤️
LMAO 10:30 I thought only I did that where I lie accidentaly bc my brain is just so focused on keeping the conversation going that I start thinking of random things to say
I had this when I was younger, I am now 30. I am pretty much socially on point, however i do carry basically trauma from all the exposure to different shit i went through to learn the skills. When you get this, is it mostly about feelings of being judged by other people, or where they feel at some visceral but non intellectual level as 'threats' or is it simply just a feeling
so first off, thank for sharing your experience duder. On a real note: 1. So you just took a large dose? just eye balled it and doubled your dose? Or did you go back to the doc and they then increased your dosage..? Also, is the Testosterone the best option you've chosen??
Hey not sure if you’re still responding to comments but i just watched a couple of your videos and I really love what you’re doing here. My girlfriend has social anxiety and its really hard for her. Do you have anything you think I should do or know abt it being that my girlfriend has social anxiety. Thanks again brotha
are there any types of major side effects to taking the testosterone? i feel way more confident when i'm drunk, high, or just under the influence of something but i know to stay away from doing it to help myself communicate better. I've also never really tried to talk to anyone about it because when i have hinted at it everyone just agrees with me and pretends like they know what i'm going through. therefor i haven't tried taking any medications for it but i've heard they're all crap anyways. any advice?
interactions with a cashier or something related aren't that difficult and i can normally pull off an out going personality because i don't care what they think of me and because it's only going to last a few minutes but if i'm hanging out with friends and they want to meet up with people i don't know i will sit there silently until i'm spoken to or if i do build up the confidence to say something it will completely destroy my confidence if i get a weird look or get ignored and i won't say another word
i recommend maca root powder it's a natural testosterone booster you can put it in smoothies, shakes etc. fact: testosterone helps you to gain more confidents. and confident helps to maintain a eye contact when talking to someone
Hey Ben you should Def go down in trt you said it yourself this isn't sustainable, the best is to go to 150 mgs a week for 3 months and then a little higher for 3 months I think taking 300 mgs for the rest of your life isn't healthy you get regular blood work?
broh have more social anxiety than you like (too much f*ked) and iam coming to USA for my masters studies, what is your opinion about this , will my anxiety worser than i have now , or will i be getting friends like me and Be OK , WHAT IS YOUR OPINION. beacouse i just dont want to be a looner in other country too.
Try looking into CBT, it can be really helpful for anxiety Consult a doctor about possible medications if that’s something you’re interested in! I wouldn’t jump into test since you don’t know how your body will react Wish you luck!
@K A Thanks for being so encouraging :) By CBT you mean cognitive behavioral therapy? I don’t know much about it but I would need to find a therapist for that right?
@@mrSam3ooo It’s ok! Yes you would. In the U.K. you could either contact your gp and be put on a waiting list for CBT through the nhs or you can find a therapist privately on counselling directory or psychology today. But regardless of where you’re from, contacting your doctor and/or looking online to find someone locally you can see privately would be a good start! There is information about cbt on UA-cam as well. It’s used to help a lot of different kinds of anxiety and things related to anxiety too. :)
@@dovestone_ Thanks so much, from what I've seen so far it seems like it could really benefit me. And I know it's high time for me to seek professional help
damn i wish i could be your friend. i’m probably around your age (im watching this after two yrs so youre either 27 or28 now) i’m a girl tho but i have anxiety disorder too also some other stuff. i never worked full time before only working part time like twice a week but i’m pretty ambitious and i wanna do big things in life even tho my drive is getting smaller than before cause my hope is getting smaller and smaller… i do want people with good energy and who are understanding to be in my life tho so that we can motivate each others, cause i just don’t have any friends anymore (same as you i was also one of the popular kids back in the days) uhhh.. actually not only the person who made this video i feel like we all should become friends😫
May I ask - how severe is your Social Anxiety? I'm gonna be honest, that part of your comment about wanting to do _'big things',_ but losing hope and drive to, progressively, resonates with me. On one side, no one in my family is genuinely a hard-working person, and I've not exactly been an exception to that. On the other, I've got this anxiety problem that oftentimes puts me at odds with the idea of being myself. Trivial things feeling frightening, or, utterly frightening... you get my meaning. Some part of me vehemently dislikes the idea of being menial, or _'just average',_ however, with the anxiety, and the background, it'd take me some otherworldly effort to turn things my way. The anxiety, this insidious little thing, drains whatever _'energy'_ I can muster to put effort into anything. My beliefs don't agree with self-erasure, my family would be having a bit of a damnable time getting over the [metaphorical] bump of me not being there anymore, yet somehow, I'm not as far apart from the thought of it as I used to. To be truthful, having people that _love_ you ain't that helpful; you'd specifically need people that can understand you. Whichever stead you might be in right now, I hope you get the support, the means to get things going your way.
There's a club if you'd like to go You could meet somebody who really loves you So you go and you stand on your own And you leave on your own And you go home and you cry And you want to die -how soon is now, the smiths
Bro that fucking rush is crazy, how do you get rid of it? I've had it for like 5 years now and I think I don't even care anymore ahaha but I'd still like to get rid of it at some point
You are in reaction mode by taking medication. It's because you are analysing social events without knowing enough about them. So you are reaching for a discovery and you are getting mixed sensory in return. When you experience something you have multiple observations and these can have different affects over time. The masculinity is trying to mask this but you are not learning to cope with it. You will need to learn more about sociology and psychology of people. The more life experiences you get, the more this won't occur.
What ur doing to your body may have severe side affects for u at some point. That is what part of the problem is with people wanting a fast fix u must first figure out why do u have the problem first. Was it from something that happened to u growing up? Was it the way ur parents raised u? Please, I wish you would think through what ur doing to urself.
Hey Ben, I would love to share HealthyGamerGG channel with you and anyone that resonates with what you say. You are proactively trying to take steps with your social anxiety (reddit/reading/researching), I’ve been there done that and still do. As you can see from comments, you’d be surprised how many people feel so similar to you. HealthyGamergg is a community just like that at our age range (teens to thirties and beyond, but mostly twenties). He is a Harvard trained psychiatrist that talks with people just like us with wide range of issues including social anxiety, feeling stuck in life, anxiety, fear of failure. I recommend you check out the channel and watch some of his interviews, and I think you will be surprised with how helpful it may be. I am also part of their group coaching where there is a trained coach and 8 people like you and me, and it has been so beneficial to be vulnerable and listen to each other. I think it may help you a lot! They also have a reddit page, and honestly you can link your video, and you may be able to get an interview with him!
I think you and I have alot in common. I also had some substance abuse problems in my younger days and I currently dont have any friends. My family are my friends right now but I'm cool with that. I'd love to chat with u one on one. Hit me up
my social anxiety only healed when i decided travel the world alone, and exposing myself to people, so there was a kind of desensitization process when interacting with other people..
I'm afraid of interacting with strangers but at the same time I really wanna do what you did
@@mrSam3ooo you got to bro, imma go to the store tomorrow and approach random girls, ik it sounds ridiculous but it helps in the moment lol
Ballsy, gj
@@ec_xml4648 don't forget about the virus
Same here. Solo traveling has been a God send. Can't wait for all the covid stuff to be over.
My social anxiety disappeared when I started working and was forced to interact with customers. I remember when I first started it was painful and I handing back change and my whole arm was shaking and customer just looked at me. But after a few months it started disappearing and eventually I became the person inside I always felt I was able to interact with people not afraid. The only way to get through it is to constantly expose yourself to it. So if you feel good you should get yourself out there more and get your brain accustomed to talking to people while you have the courage. And even if you don’t just do it anyways I had to embarrass myself constantly with my body shaking but I didn’t die and I am sure that random person forgot about it years later.
I've interacted with the same type of customers for 10 years and I still get that rush and don't know what to say.. Goddammit good for you man I keep telling myself it'll get easier
@Heycel it depends on your sleep quality, excersize, nature meditation, eat healty , stop emf phones etc.
Exactly this, and whenever you do it, keep posting about it and we will cheer you on and give you tonnes of positive approval and debrief, so you will get reward mentally for it.
You should KEEP the alleged social anxiety. FUCK people.
One of the toughest things about having social anxiety is feeling like you're all alone. Like you said, nobody understands. If you don't have social anxiety, you cannot possibly know what it's like. I'm 23 and it's been controlling my life for as long as I can remember. I've never gotten professional help for it but I think that's gonna need to change in the near future because I'm sick of living like this. My best friend of 6 years and I aren't on speaking terms right now so I feel more alone than ever. I never felt like I had her full support with my anxiety. She cares for me and has tried to help me but there's always been this lingering feeling where I feel like part of her judges me for it. Sometimes she'll "snap" and say something like "How can you not get a job? It should be so easy, everyone does it." and that shit eats me alive because she just doesn't get it. I've never been closer with anyone in my life than I am (or was I guess) with her yet even she didn't fully support me because she doesn't understand. I'm just so fucking sick and tired of being isolated and feeling like I'm living in an echo chamber. I would give anything to be understood and to be rid of this awful disorder.
Get thyroid labs. TSH, FREE T4, FREE T3, Reverse T3, TOTAL T3, TPO antibodies, TG antibodies.
Even a minor thyroid hormone imbalance can and usually does cause sub optimal testosterone levels which would explain the anxiety and depressed moods. Just a thought
@@benweinzierl3637 It's been a lifelong thing. I didn't realize there was a name for it until I was 20, but I've been like this my whole life. I'm pretty sure my thyroid is fine
@hitdoctor24 I understand that but I thought the same and so did two doctors.. we were all VERY wrong.
ua-cam.com/video/v7KQsS2kLM4/v-deo.html
“Sometimes the dumber you’re willing to look, the smarter you’re able to become.”
HEY HEY HEY
I'M A FUCKING GENIUS
Hey ben! We went to high school together. It's cool seeing you be open and vulnerable! I had/have bad social anxiety. I had it in hs and I totally get your journey. I remember feeling like a self inflicted outcast in that big school. I myself didnt know where I belonged. Its interesting seeing people you went to hs with the same things. It can feel lonely. Thanks for being open.
@خربــز 🤦🏾♂️
@@yeahright6021 😂😂😂
That was kind of you to reach out to him 😊
Honestly it feels good to know there's hope
Yeah I hear you man. I'm 27 and have had social anxiety since my teenage years. Quarantine has actually helped me gain perspective... I think there are certain personality types that are just more prone to developing SA... the sensitive, caring, others-focused, and kind people. Most people I think just don't really don't care about other people and what they think of them. We need to somehow keep our caring nature while also learning to simply not give a shit what others think of us. They think we're stupid? Ok, whatever, they're wrong. They think we're weird? Screw em'... I'll find people who don't think Im weird. They think we're weak? They don't know us.
Also, I think natural TRT is lifting weights. I always feel a whole lot better about things after a gym session
💯💯💯
Uhh i Love this. I can relate so much
I find it better and more effective to do the following, 'they think i'm stupid?' - 'who the fuck is this guy' - demeaning comment. 'you're wierd' - look down on them - 'think your weak'? 'Try me.' The cure to social anxiety is being able to accept yourself as a bad guy. It doesn't meant you cant be principled.
what's helping out mentally is knowing that there's a ton of people out there that are struggling with social anxiety you gotta tell yourself maybe I'm not alone in this struggle a lot of people are just as scared as you making eye contact in a grocery store, that kinda helps me out and I try to be the better of everyone in the room if that makes sense.
Three steps for me that definitely helped. 1 - Admitting that I have slight social anxiety. 2 - Understanding that most people enjoy conversation. 3 - Being ok with expressing your personality to anyone, obviously that is easier said then done but you have to start small and challenge yourself as Ben said with improv. I also feel the more I talk about this issue the easier it is to face.
I currently work at a grocery store and it really started when I was a cashier and just started feeling waves of feeling like I couldnt control my breathing, focus and balance, I would even start sweating at times, and it was strange because it would come and go but I was able to somewhat control it between customers by recovering my breathing and heart rate. It was a HUGE challenge at first but the more I did it the better I became at it. I ended up moving departments and worked in the meat department which is way more fun and a good balance between working on my own and with customers which I find to be the best for me. So I geuss my full message is find a balance if you are essentially forced into a situation (work) that is giving you high social anxiety. Hope this helped, much love.
Try to wear sunglasses, practice making eye contact while communicating with people! Slowly but surely you get more come it :)
That's a very good idea
Do u wear them inside? I found if i try to wear them inside i stick out more, because im wearing them inside.
So glad for you man
much love brotha :) cheers
I totally get it!! It's refreshing to hear someone else's story. We're not alone, even when it feels overwhelmingly true so much of the time. Connecting is my biggest struggle. It's something that will always be a battle, but I am trying to learn how to master the "game", so I can actually breathe without questioning every single aspect of myself.
I’ve had social anxiety since I was 12 years old, I’m 24 now. I was very popular in elementary school and full of confidence. I don’t know what the fuck happened.
God bless you mate, your a inspiration to us all who cud never describe this feeling which you have and am so glad i came across your videos🙏🏼🙏🏼
Omg I laughed so hard when you said "going up to the cashier." This is sooooo true!!! And its so weird because having social anxiety I think to myself "talking to that person is REALLY no big deal." But, it is.... lol I try to sike myself out all the time but it doesn't work.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy CBT really helped me get through a really tough time that I was having with my social anxiety disorder. I wish I could have had the treatment for longer. It helped also helped a lot with my emetaphobia (phobia of vomiting). I would really recommend asking about CBT and how many sessions you could get for an anxiety disorder. Going through the beliefs about negative judgements from others and even about yourself, and then doing some exposure with someone you trust (a therapist), really helps! I wouldn't cross out talking therapy, it can help.
I’ll have to look into this!
@@aguirrn It really can help.
I’m give you a tip find a laundry met that’s open 24/7 I be in the 2:00 midnight me and the attendant 🤦🏽♂️😭
REBT can help a lot too!
How was your phobia of vomiting like? I think I used to have this at some point. O could barely eat with people i wasnt comfortable with
Thank you for making these videos. It has brought us so much closer together. And your right, it’s been so tough socializing with people. But keep going on your journey, you’re doing great.
Stay safe everyone and I hope everyone has an amazing journey
I been binge watching ur videos the whole night
Hey there, I wish you luck on your journey. A few years back, my social anxiety had consumed my life. Small things like, trying to order something from a restaurant and having to go through drive thru lane. Took everything in me to get in the lane. Countless of times, I've skipped something just to avoid the situation. I totally understand you! Today, at age 25, I'm definitely at another place in my life. In my case, what has helped me, was to throw myself out there! Forced myself to interact with people and work specifically in customer service. Cried myself to sleep sometimes but, proud of where I am today. I still have my moments but I know I'm still growing. I know the feeling, I wish everyone struggling all the luck in the world:) don't give up!
Hey do you think you could share some of the things you did when throwing yourself out there? I tried that for months but I still struggle to even make small talk and click with people. Do you have any advice from your experience?
@@hihirblx It's not easy at all, as I'm sure you know. "Small" things like forcing yourself to raise your hand to present first to get it over with. When you want to get a burger and have to get in line, your head may be telling you "no.. nevermind." But, put ALL your will and energy to get in that line. This applies to everything you want to do but, social anxiety gets in the way. I've worked in retail from the day I turned 18. I knew that I needed help but I didn't have it in me to ask for help so, I helped myself. I think one of my college professors saw me struggling and one day she took me outside the class and told me, "fake it till you make it." And as much as those words hurt me, I incorporated them in some of the things I did. For example, my job. Everyday in my car, before I stepped into the building of my work, I cried and I would tell myself things like "you can make it through today, it'll be okay" I took it one day at a time. I would come home drained from everyone and everything. But that feeling slowly started to go away. As cliché as it sounds, you just have to believe in yourself and fake it till you make it. You may feel uncomfortable but before you know it, you'll realize that you are no longer the person you were before 1 month ago.. 1 year ago.. 5 years ago! You'll be proud of how far you've made it. Also, I've learned smiling goes a long away. I'm no good at small talk but, I've recently gotten into reading some books about small talk and creating conversation and they also give out good advice. Small talk is an actual skill so, don't feel bad about it. Good luck to you!
If you achieved that on your own I believe you can do Great things . Congratulations
Thanks it really helped 💛 cried myself to sleep last night , i've been struggling lately as i have decided to thrust myself out of my comfort zone by taking up an internship at a company without my friends , sitting alone at lunch is still the most awkward part though , hopefully the remaining 5 weeks go by in a blink of an eye 🌸🌸
@@hayajaved9316You are doing so well, hang in there! They will go by before you know it and it'll be worth it.
hey bro i just want to say ive watched all your vids and what stood out for me is the little things like going to do shopping at the supermarket just simple things even just walking out the door to put the trash out feeling that overwhelming rush. I also have trouble talking to people and I mumble alot because my mouth goes dry and tense and I end up feeling stuck and its like you can see it all over the person's face your talking to you. My eyes start twitching and my legs feel like there about to give out thanks for sharing your videos.
I have been battling social anxiety for 17 long years... Attributed to a situation that gave me severe PTSD. It's awful, wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. But as the old saying goes: there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Very true, when you surround yourself around LOTS and positivity and people who uplift you more than challenge you. But I do miss my old life; going to the movies opening weekend without a care in the world, etc. It is a struggle, but not something you won't overcome.
I'm glad you're doing better. I think the biggest relief is just reminding yourself that you're not the only one. You're very relatable and funny lol when we have this idea that we're supposed to reach a certain standard and be a certain way we feel pressured instead of just allowing ourselves to be human. I've definitely done that thing where a waiter at a restaurant says "ok enjoy" and I'm like "you too!" Lol like what?? 😂 I just laugh. We shouldn't take ourselves too seriously
I agree a lot of my social anxiety goes away when i just find a way to laugh about it and not take things so seriously and just realize you always got yourself and you should try and love and laugh at yourself
I’m 21 and i feel like this is the direction I’m going in. I understand your words in my heart. I try to put my myself out there and do things well outside my comfort zone ... my heart starts beating so fast for no reason. It’s a weird type of anxiety but it’s something we have to work through. Keep going ! I will if you do
you are too young for trt. Semen retention will help alleviate the symptoms of social anxiety. Semen retention means not watching porn and no masturbation for months or years. Retain your seed as long as you can. Watch semen retention video on you tube. Hope this helps.
Make an update video
I have been living with social anxiety for such a long time that I don't even remember exactly when it started. The surrounding I grew up with has always been stigmatizing of mental health. Like everyone I felt like no one cared or understood what I was going through. Also I have lot of insecurities and self-esteem problems. My family is one of the most extroverted and social creatures. Meanwhile I always had no friends and no social life because I was an introvert and I had social anxiety all along. My family always tells me to socialize with my neighbors and people around (since I am living alone far away from them) as they know I won't lol. But how do I tell them I have a severe social anxiety. Everyday I tell myself some positive affirmations to stay motivated and try my best in Hope of overcoming all of it. There are some days when I feel like I have finally learned and have overcome it, it is at that moment when I relapse to where I was and feel like I did everything for nothing. I have couple of close friends who understands me and are always there whenever I feel this way. So grateful to have them in my life but still at the end of the day I have to do this all own my own.
This is for all guys that might be wondering how to get over this. GET INTO Brazilian Jiu Jitsu or Muay Thai (boxing is a good 3rd option as well). It is a group activity and you will have to deal with people. Making conversation will mostly revolve around what's going on in class.
Still, a salute to you for having the guts in filming yourself through UA-cam.
In my opinion, the best way to get rid of anxiety is to work in a customer facing role. Worked for me.
Stress fucks with anxiety so bad, theyre strongly linked. I never experienced as much social anxiety as when I was going through a horrible break up-and going through senior year of college- Just take time to deal with stress and it'll help the anxiety.
Totally agree with you Maria , stress is a stem that allows anxiety to thrive .
That’s where meditation comes in 💙
Ben....l see a Big Confidence Booster...You deserve it!!!!!
I just have to say I hope you jumped into that improve class or planning on still doing so! Theatre in high school helped me with my social anxiety tremendously. Hope you are doing well. 🙏🏻
Hey Ben, I hope you are keeping well. I hope you manage to conquer your anxiety someday. I'm waiting to go to the opticians in the next hour and after being in lockdown for nearly 3 months I feel sick just going into a place like that..
Its amazing nowdays how messed up we are as humans yet we have the best lifestyle / comforts in any generation. And the answer to any 'problem' is usually doctor led pills as an " answer ".
I'm so happy for you!
Very rarely do I get that rush to live life, but when I do, I want to have it 24/7. It's such a better feeling than walking into a room full of people wondering where I'll fit in lol
I have social anxiety, anxiety, bipolar, depression, ED i mean the list goes on lol. Door dash is the right job for ppl with social anxiety. I couldn’t hold a job for more than a couple months before quitting. But also with social anxiety i not only stutter sometimes but walk weird at times because it’s just so awkward lol(like at Walmart where theres so many ppl) i just found your channel and I love it!
This is interesting suggestion. Unfortunately I get anxiety driving. Yesterday I had a breakdown it was so overwhelming. And shortly after I almost got crushed by a train track pole thing. But after that experience and reflecting that everything turned out ok. I felt better
@@aguirrn aww glad you are ok!
OMG I know what you're talking about when you say that you’ll tell a lie and not even mean to or know why you lied. I don't take meds for my social anxiety and I don't know much about the ones you're taking but I'm just glad you're doing okay.
Ben, your videos are very relatable. Though I will say just from my experience many people dont keep friends after college or even high school. The world can be very disconnected so dont fault yourself too much for that. On a side note, you mentioned employment in one of your videos and I wanted to make a suggestion. Whatever state your in should have a vocational rehabilitation agency. They assist individuals with physical or mental health conditions. While you may not need further training or anything like that, they may be able to find an employment for you to work in that will work with you and understand your anxiety. They usually follow along with you until you've been employed for a certain amount of time to provide further assistance if needed. If you want more information on that just let me know and maybe I can help.
Hi Ben, just came across your channel. I totally feel you with the accidental lie thing. It doesnt happen often, but when it does, I'm so surprised at myself for doing it. Bc it's not planned whatsoever and I'm not trying to manipulate anyone. I dont always have social anxiety, I love parties and people, but my twin sister and I feel like we need to be entertaining and making others feel happy/comfortable even when it's not at our house. We're completely drained for a good two days afterwards bc our energy is so spiked during those interactions with friends..
Social anxiety hits me the hardest when it stops me from saying all the things I truly want to say in that moment in time when I talk to someone. My mind wants to say so many articulate things but my mouth doesn’t let me and it makes me seem dumb in whatever topic it is. I fucking hate that aspect of social anxiety.
This is exactly how i felt. I take quite a bit more testosterone than he does (400mg per week), but the result is i say whatever is on my mind and it feels amazing to do so
I also find that i dont overthink what others say, and i am comftrobale with making fun of myself (no longer insecure). Not promoting steroid use, but its honestly changed my life
Hi ben. I'm 58 im a widow I broke up with my high school sweetheart back in Dec. My late husband made me get rid of my friends. I am now so lonely and I would do anything for a friend.
I'm glad it's helping.
Inspiring stuff bro - you got this - thanks for helping others!
I’m going to a concert tonight with my friends and I don’t really want to go cause ima get anxious around people, especially when it comes to girls, I can’t even talk to girls shit is hard
One moment can change a day.
One day can change a life.
One life can change the world.
I wonder if like just a reg dose like 100 or 200mg per week will still help w mood... thanks for the vid
i was on 225-250 in this vid. currently on 250. it’s going to be my long term dose. it’s the one i feel best at and that helps me the most.
@@benmayz202 do you take an AI and if so, what dose? it's hard af trying to control Estrogen lol.
@@benmayz202 what does your bloodwork say? sometimes you need that much to be at 1000ng/dl
depends on the person
@@benmayz202 dude I need this in my life haha iam 30 and depressed af but the normal trt is 150-175 right? Youre doing blood test regular? Most people are doing 250 mgs as a beginner cycle for 12 weeks or something and then come off or lower te dose to 150
I'm 24. I have severe social anxiety.. no friends.. and it only gets worse as I get older.. and the overwhelming sense of anxiety is hard to mask and I know people notice but what they don't notice is how hard I'm trying to overcome it.. I haven't taken anything to help me with it but as I'm alone i often burst into tears contemplating what's wrong with me and why I am this way... Please help me..
I’m 24 and I kid you not you’re my twin. It sucks man I wish I was normal. As an adult it’s super annoying to be that one “weird guy” I’m not stupid but the way it manifests itself physically it makes me seem “off”. And at the end of the day perception is reality. Wish you the best brother I love you
Nice video dude!
You’re doing great! Might inspire me to share my journey. I wonder what the TRT equivalent for females would be?
estrogen, but females also need TRT just like guys need estrogen
@@joezic well we natural produce trt as well but nothing like men. Also I would not want to take extra lol.
quitting energy drinks has helped me out a ton also, I'm a huge caffeine addict I feel like people should start there if theyre anything like me
I honestly suffer from social anxiety myself. The the thing that helps me most is lift heavy weights/physical excretion. and try phenibut dose once a week during social interactions. Stay away from alcohol in high doses. Love ❤️
Hey man. I relate.
It's a process... don't expect to become Mr. Congeniality over night. You're taking the rights steps. You'll get there.
Let's be friends!! I was recommended the original video you posted about friend making. I feel this on a deep level. I'm 27 and in the same general boat. Hope you are doing well as this video was months ago!!❤️
LMAO 10:30 I thought only I did that where I lie accidentaly bc my brain is just so focused on keeping the conversation going that I start thinking of random things to say
I had this when I was younger, I am now 30. I am pretty much socially on point, however i do carry basically trauma from all the exposure to different shit i went through to learn the skills. When you get this, is it mostly about feelings of being judged by other people, or where they feel at some visceral but non intellectual level as 'threats' or is it simply just a feeling
How you doing bro?
so first off, thank for sharing your experience duder.
On a real note:
1. So you just took a large dose? just eye balled it and doubled your dose? Or did you go back to the doc and they then increased your dosage..? Also, is the Testosterone the best option you've chosen??
Bro it feels like you're describing me, 100% relatable. I recommend listening to Jordan peterson and David goggins they usually keep me centered.
Hey not sure if you’re still responding to comments but i just watched a couple of your videos and I really love what you’re doing here. My girlfriend has social anxiety and its really hard for her. Do you have anything you think I should do or know abt it being that my girlfriend has social anxiety. Thanks again brotha
God is good dear
Amazing man. I'm 22 and thinking about TRT
I think I need those treatments short term.. have you noticed negative effects?
Hey Iam on Sulpiride and my social Anxiety is almost blown away, really good drug but its not offered in US
What's your dosage of trt?
i always have social issues no friends feel alone and dieing is not a bad thing its easier then staying alive
are there any types of major side effects to taking the testosterone? i feel way more confident when i'm drunk, high, or just under the influence of something but i know to stay away from doing it to help myself communicate better. I've also never really tried to talk to anyone about it because when i have hinted at it everyone just agrees with me and pretends like they know what i'm going through. therefor i haven't tried taking any medications for it but i've heard they're all crap anyways. any advice?
interactions with a cashier or something related aren't that difficult and i can normally pull off an out going personality because i don't care what they think of me and because it's only going to last a few minutes but if i'm hanging out with friends and they want to meet up with people i don't know i will sit there silently until i'm spoken to or if i do build up the confidence to say something it will completely destroy my confidence if i get a weird look or get ignored and i won't say another word
That Spider xD
i recommend maca root powder it's a natural testosterone booster you can put it in smoothies, shakes etc.
fact: testosterone helps you to gain more confidents.
and confident helps to maintain a eye contact when talking to someone
What do you consider a high dose? I’m on 200mg weekly and don’t feel like it’s high at all.
bump
When I go to check out at a grocery store.. I see self-check out or the cute girl at the register. *Goes to self-checkout*
👍👍👍
Hey Ben you should Def go down in trt you said it yourself this isn't sustainable, the best is to go to 150 mgs a week for 3 months and then a little higher for 3 months I think taking 300 mgs for the rest of your life isn't healthy you get regular blood work?
broh have more social anxiety than you like (too much f*ked) and iam coming to USA for my masters studies, what is your opinion about this , will my anxiety worser than i have now , or will i be getting friends like me and Be OK , WHAT IS YOUR OPINION. beacouse i just dont want to be a looner in other country too.
Idk man this is so amazing to me and I want to get there so badly. But shooting test? I don't think I wanna do that :/
Try looking into CBT, it can be really helpful for anxiety
Consult a doctor about possible medications if that’s something you’re interested in!
I wouldn’t jump into test since you don’t know how your body will react
Wish you luck!
@K A Thanks for being so encouraging :) By CBT you mean cognitive behavioral therapy? I don’t know much about it but I would need to find a therapist for that right?
@@mrSam3ooo
It’s ok!
Yes you would. In the U.K. you could either contact your gp and be put on a waiting list for CBT through the nhs or you can find a therapist privately on counselling directory or psychology today.
But regardless of where you’re from, contacting your doctor and/or looking online to find someone locally you can see privately would be a good start!
There is information about cbt on UA-cam as well. It’s used to help a lot of different kinds of anxiety and things related to anxiety too. :)
@@dovestone_ Thanks so much, from what I've seen so far it seems like it could really benefit me. And I know it's high time for me to seek professional help
damn i wish i could be your friend. i’m probably around your age (im watching this after two yrs so youre either 27 or28 now) i’m a girl tho but i have anxiety disorder too also some other stuff. i never worked full time before only working part time like twice a week but i’m pretty ambitious and i wanna do big things in life even tho my drive is getting smaller than before cause my hope is getting smaller and smaller… i do want people with good energy and who are understanding to be in my life tho so that we can motivate each others, cause i just don’t have any friends anymore (same as you i was also one of the popular kids back in the days) uhhh.. actually not only the person who made this video i feel like we all should become friends😫
May I ask - how severe is your Social Anxiety?
I'm gonna be honest, that part of your comment about wanting to do _'big things',_ but losing hope and drive to, progressively, resonates with me. On one side, no one in my family is genuinely a hard-working person, and I've not exactly been an exception to that. On the other, I've got this anxiety problem that oftentimes puts me at odds with the idea of being myself. Trivial things feeling frightening, or, utterly frightening... you get my meaning. Some part of me vehemently dislikes the idea of being menial, or _'just average',_ however, with the anxiety, and the background, it'd take me some otherworldly effort to turn things my way. The anxiety, this insidious little thing, drains whatever _'energy'_ I can muster to put effort into anything.
My beliefs don't agree with self-erasure, my family would be having a bit of a damnable time getting over the [metaphorical] bump of me not being there anymore, yet somehow, I'm not as far apart from the thought of it as I used to.
To be truthful, having people that _love_ you ain't that helpful; you'd specifically need people that can understand you.
Whichever stead you might be in right now, I hope you get the support, the means to get things going your way.
whats your dosage at the time of video, im planning on taking 200mg
wheres your blood work at?
Limitless Reload....
Just subbed to you to make it 300, congratz that u can socialize better , oh yeah are u introvert or extrovert?
....he’s obviously introverted wtf
@@firstclass7440 uhh okay just asking
There's a club if you'd like to go
You could meet somebody who really loves you
So you go and you stand on your own
And you leave on your own
And you go home and you cry
And you want to die
-how soon is now, the smiths
You shut your mouth!
This exactly like a addy high 😂
which t booster
Can you talk about career/business?
Bro that fucking rush is crazy, how do you get rid of it? I've had it for like 5 years now and I think I don't even care anymore ahaha but I'd still like to get rid of it at some point
Howd you get on test?
He’s for real on the juice 🧃
You are in reaction mode by taking medication. It's because you are analysing social events without knowing enough about them. So you are reaching for a discovery and you are getting mixed sensory in return. When you experience something you have multiple observations and these can have different affects over time. The masculinity is trying to mask this but you are not learning to cope with it. You will need to learn more about sociology and psychology of people. The more life experiences you get, the more this won't occur.
What ur doing to your body may have severe side affects for u at some point. That is what part of the problem is with people wanting a fast fix u must first figure out why do u have the problem first. Was it from something that happened to u growing up? Was it the way ur parents raised u? Please, I wish you would think through what ur doing to urself.
What he needs is therapy 100%
is there a trt version for girls haha?
I'm so unsocialble because i have no friends
Lmao self checkout has been a godsend 🙌
Bro, you had a girlfriend. I'm sitting here thinking like what?
Hey Ben, I would love to share HealthyGamerGG channel with you and anyone that resonates with what you say. You are proactively trying to take steps with your social anxiety (reddit/reading/researching), I’ve been there done that and still do. As you can see from comments, you’d be surprised how many people feel so similar to you. HealthyGamergg is a community just like that at our age range (teens to thirties and beyond, but mostly twenties). He is a Harvard trained psychiatrist that talks with people just like us with wide range of issues including social anxiety, feeling stuck in life, anxiety, fear of failure. I recommend you check out the channel and watch some of his interviews, and I think you will be surprised with how helpful it may be. I am also part of their group coaching where there is a trained coach and 8 people like you and me, and it has been so beneficial to be vulnerable and listen to each other. I think it may help you a lot! They also have a reddit page, and honestly you can link your video, and you may be able to get an interview with him!
whats your testosterone protocol
i lie on accident all the time because it's the first thought i have
What dose?
I think you and I have alot in common. I also had some substance abuse problems in my younger days and I currently dont have any friends. My family are my friends right now but I'm cool with that. I'd love to chat with u one on one. Hit me up
@ 9:30 "this is probably going to get a ton of dislikes" there's literally 1 dislike lol
He said hella thumbs down and you turned your phone up vertical