What's one thing that's "right" about you and one thing that's "right" about someone in your life? ( 10:28 ) - *Watch our FREE series on anxiety w Dr Ramani HERE: **bit.ly/3wcgTNb* -
One thing which is right about me is that I am very straightforward person (though many people hate this ). One thing which is right about my eldest brother is that he is very responsible guy.
What a great prompt/exercise! I feel one thing that's right about me is my compassion. One thing right about my mum is that she taught me to embrace and love all cultures and races. I picked my mum for this, because she's one of the most difficult people I've ever known, and there was so much wrong in that relationship, so for my own peace, it feels right to find and be grateful for what was good in that relationship.
One thing that’s right about me is that I’m really good at praising people when I think they’ve done something good. I’m good at remembering to do so🙂 One thing that’s good about my coworker is that she is truly excellent at what she does. Every time I go to work I admire her!😄
I've been binge watching all your talks with Dr Ramani and I've been learning a lot so thank you for that! One thing "right" about me is I always search for a new thing to do and a despite me being introverted I'd like to challenge myself One thing "right" about my boyfriend is that he knows how to calm me and center and help me work and fight all my anxieties.
I'm kind to most people and all animals. My oldest daughter is outgoing, funny, and kind. If I don't know someone, sometimes I might talk to them, but sometimes I'm paralyzed and can't say a word. I'm the strangest person on the planet.
i have been doing NoFap today is day 21 and my social anxiety has decreased slightly. man i suggest you try it. even If you don't believe it's better to try and see if it helps. i wish you good luck, i Hope you can get decrease your levels of social anxiety aswell.
This is nature there is no god life is life death is death, death is end there is nothing after it mommy brought us to the world to live you live and leave the world everyone does that. This is nature nature is god😂🤷🏽♂️
Whenever I feel any emotion that's overwhelming, it results in crying, so yes. It's the body's way of handling all that stress, even if it's only hypothetical.
Yes, it is a normal feeling. I’ve been there. It’s important to express it and not suppress it, otherwise it will lead to more anxiety, frustration, anger... To accept it & then work on it.
What's worst is being put on the spot and reading something, stumbling over your words, and crying afterwards because you think you made a fool out of yourself.
@James Two weeks after applying his method to my life, my life has completely changed 🤣 Public speaking, social anxi ety problems, and various types of addi ctions have begun to disappear 🤣🤣 Recommend this kindle book : m.site.naver.com/0E0Ap
How fucked up. I got bullied, teased, labeled, and treated as a child or like im mentally retarded incapable of functioning in public which was pure ignorance about social anxiety. I had no support to help cope barely understanding what i was experiencing in the first place so i ran with im just overly shy. We must break the silence and stigmas its ridiculous
I felt that way most of my life. It is better now that I have processed the expectations of my parents and since I have fully deconverted from the religion I was brought up in. Now it feels a lot less like I am being watched/judged by someone else and more like I am watching/looking out for myself.
Last year I went to a social function my hubby's work buddies were hosting, and their spouses were there. Against my better judgment, I went. I was almost paralyzed and didn't speak a word to anyone except the initial hellos to everyone. I just couldn't talk, at all. Has ANYONE else done something like this? I'll NEVER go back to a function like that. WTH is wrong with me?
Yeah, people with SA have the belief that people will hurt them, usually emotionally, but I think the core belief is that there's something wrong with them specifically. There are people out there who are very distrustful of people in general and think everyone's selfish etc. but they're not socially anxious because they don't feel like there's anything wrong with them. It's a self esteem and self worth issue.
@@thisisntallowed9560 Yes, I think they're being judgemental, they're always see me as some kind of weird alien because I'm very awkward. That's is the worst situation ever but everytime I socialize in public, those situation always happen. I'm f*ked.
@@thisisntallowed9560 Well, I do have fun a bit at school but outside of school, I feels likes an outsider. I'm not even in the minority group or immigrants in my country but yet I still feels likes an outcast. Maybe I need to be more outgoing but I'm very afraid and don't likes socializing.
@@thisisntallowed9560 It's not that I'm completely in fear, I have takes a few steps to socialize but they're ended up in a DISASTER. Now I'm back to 0. I read and watch a lots of about self help books and videos, learned about stoic lifestyle and all that stuff but sadly it's didn't do much to me. Maybe I have low IQ or something but I hope you can overcome social anxiety and have a great life :) It's completely hopeless to me.
I always feel awkward. I never know what to say to people. I always wonder how people always have so much to say and as a result, have joy in everyday life, even at work. Why was I born different and as a result, depressed??
That’s me all day everyday even with my close friends and family. It feels impossible to talk sometimes and it’s so frustrating because I have no idea why I’m like this
I feel the same way, I can’t be in groups or go out by myself. Family doesn’t understand really, no friends and in a new country by myself since I recently got out of a toxic relationship. Just opening my mouth to speak makes me fell like I am in a panic and nothing I say seems right. Christmas is gonna be fun
I have social anxiety, but I’ve never experienced any bullying or anything like that, I get very nervous around friends of friends, and I also get really shy and embarrassed around my close family.... When a teacher calls on me in class I panic and end up stuttering, I’m genuinely very awkward but when I’m around people, it gets worse.
For people who have social anxiety as myself, we have to also choose which crowd we go into. Surround yourself with people who are good, compassionate and respectful. The root of our social anxiety I believe is developed from a chronic exposure to bullying and criticism, sometimes within the family and peers, this is like giving a child an understanding that any environment is hostile. And as a child grows he withdraws from any social interaction as a protective action that learned during childhood. I wish for you and any other people who suffer from social anxiety to unlearn this behavior, this is costing me of my joy and great opportunities in life. :(
I totally agree with you! It’s often triggered by bullying. I was bullied for about 13-14 years of my life which triggered major social anxiety & awkwardness.
I believe trauma is the root of social anxiety, it’s something a child learns and is not born with. Something that helps me is to remember that you also get to chose who you like or dislike just as much as others, think of the qualities of the person you’re taking to and thing you like or dislike about them. The world isn’t out to get you. I hate having social anxiety and am sorry you also have to struggle with it.
@@angelicahoff1420 this realization has also really helped me. Instead of chronically thinking "does this person like me? what can i do/say/behave in order for this person to like me??" ask instead "do i like this person? what qualities about them make me feel good?". once you begin that process it is much easier to attract people that are right for you and will help heal you anxiety around people by positive reinforcement
i love how freaking wholesome this chat is like- everyone is just venting out their problems and their is no negativity here its just such a wholesome venting comment section omg^^
@@beefortebrea9386 Agreed - and this might sound stupid, but I prefer to vent on these types of videos on YT, where there are other people with SAD. I feel like it’s better than venting/ranting to your acquaintances for example. They most likely wouldn’t understand or anything (like mine) - in addition that had lead to me losing them and getting ignored by them because they thought I was mental, but I did tell them about my case of SAD before, and they began being nice and kind for 2-3 weeks, and after that I was ignored and shoved again - I feel like it was all my fault for straight up venting like that, and it lead to a misunderstanding, but still, for them to suddenly ignore and shove me all the time gets me on my nerves. It really does.
You will overcome this and live a quality life. This anxiety will be a thing of the past for you and you will help others who suffer from anxiety. You are a healer, never give up
I think people with social anxiety are naturally very kind and empathetic, sure it sucks sometimes but remember to see the beauty in yourself from time to time❤️
It's not like if I'm quiet kid I'm 100% good boy, i swear at home how much I want. Everyone expect shy people to behave good, to have rich inner world and to like reading books. I was stupid at studying at school more than others in my class (there wasn't a reason to call me smart ass or nerd) i didn't liked any thing they teached, i hated all that stuff as everyone do. Maybe if I didn't have social anxiety i would be a bully or something.
Believe me, I know exactly how that is (but it does get better and that's not just something people say). I was exactly that way for a little over a year before it actually got way better. But you've gotta know how to give yourself a break, and you've got to know how to be productive with your mental health during that break so that things are better when you do reconnect. It does take a while, and there are ups and downs, and I used to think it could never any get better and I'd just never look at anyone again (but that wasn't true, and it wasn't too helpful to tell myself that). Because I was like "it's been a year since I've really made much eye contact with anyone because of my anxiety/panic disorder, so... how's it gonna get any better?" But I was wrong, happily. :) When I allowed myself to have the boundaries I needed, respecting my limits, but slowly extending those boundaries/limits while having compassion on myself (and having 'tough love' at times, which can require a little courage, I know), and putting everything into perspective, everything got so much better over time (though sometimes I was frustrated with the pace of it, which is natural). And ultimately, some people accept me anyway, now that I've learned to communicate my difficulties. They're the people worth having around. I realize that I don't need the unsupportive people in my life anyway (and maybe you don't either). :) I can even be happy alone, but now I'm not alone. A guy even asked me for my number despite my lack of eye contact, and I was later able to make a lot of direct eye contact with him without feeling anxious, which would have been impossible a year before. It's really okay. :) You're not defective. Please don't sell yourself short. You can make things better eventually, but you have to nurture your way towards that. When you're feeling so much, moving forward in spite of that is really brave, so don't act like you can't do anything. Celebrate the small successes. You're worth it, and with so many people also suffering from anxiety disorders or whatever might be (maybe Aspergers? my cousins with Aspergers have difficulty making eye contact as well), you are NOT alone. There are people who were just like you who'd understand and would be fine with it, or would help you grow. It just takes patience, though I know how difficult it is to have that. :) P.S. I know this was really long, sorry, lol. Hope it helps. Plz take care of yourself.
The difficult thing about social anxiety is that you need to interact with someone to get help. If you're at the point where you're experiencing severe social anxiety, how do you get help? If you can't speak to anyone, what do you do? I'm really glad that the internet is a thing and a lot of organisations and companies are doing services online rather than in person. Although in a way, I wonder if that sort of enables the social anxiety? Instead of having to go out and do things in person, people are staying home and doing them online where going in person could be valuable exposure therapy. Maybe if people got together more in person there would be less socially anxious people?
Just go and do it regardless of how hard is to make an appoinment or to talk to your family about your issues. Find the right moment and do it even if it's super awkward..
I try to make people who look awkward or nervous at social gatherings feel welcome by just saying hello and chatting with them. My friend Charlene S. is so kind and patient and loyal and forgiving I don't know where I would be without her.
@@thistagworked That's really hard. I've been in that situation. It's frustrating and it makes me sad. Or it used to. I'm an introver but I'm also a writer. I got a degree in Journalism so I HAD to learn how to make myself walk up and talk to people. If I didn't I'd either flunk my class or get fired, lol. So I did it. And now I can do it. I still get very nervous. But most of the time I can reach out and say hello. It's not fair to you but maybe if you can take a small risk and say Hi to him that might work. Also you could also just take a book with you somewhere. I used to do that all the time but I was raised before there was Internet, lol. If they don't want to talk to you you don't have to talk to them. Just open your book. It works better than a phone. And it doesn't run out of power.
Does anyone feel like when they’re teacher says out there name for the attendance list your heart starts beating so fast and you start shaking and after you say your name you over think it and ask yourself if you sounded too weird or quirky and if anybody laughed or judged at you?
Wow, never knew other people went through this, I’ve been like this for years and just thought it was because I was “shy” or what not, then I realized it started to get progressively worse as I got older, with little things such as giving a waiter my order but not because I’m insecure in the way I sound, but because I was and still am afraid of speaking in front of everyone around me and assuming they’re judging me in their head. I’m 17 and finally decided to take a few social anxiety tests online because I had never really thought about it until recently, and after taking a few tests I always seemed to end up in the more severe to even extreme categories for some of them. What honestly bugs me the most is that I’m fully aware that all this is happening but feel like I cant ever get rid of it. It’s controlling my life and my teen years even though these are supposed to be some of the most fun years of my life yet I just stay trapped in my room to avoid these things. Hate it.
All the time. I didn’t really enjoy roll calls. Always criticised myself on how I would say “present” or “yes”. Every time I would start to feel nervous and anxious and I hated the feeling because I just didn’t understand why I had to feel that way (and I still don’t get it).
I don’t even eat in school. Sometimes I feel like crying because I’m so hungry, And i want to eat, but I feel like people are gonna judge me... Edit: Guys i got over the fear, I can eat in peace now 🙏
oh i experienced that in high school where i was the tallest girl in the campus. and i cannot walk on the pathway without other students looking at me. it made me conscious of my height and too embarassed that i dont even want to go to the cafeteria.
actually i'm a very obnoxious eater but i can't even interact with peoole, i can't look at them, i can't talk slowly and calm. i freak out and try to escape that situation as fast as possible.
Most times when I’m in a social situation I won’t feel quite as anxious when I have someone I know who is outgoing to hide behind. My sister, for example is quite outgoing so when we are in a group of people socially, I will let her do the talking while I sit in the back and let her take the attention away from me. It helps me feel like I’m not going to die of anxiety. Thanks for reading this, I appreciate it. I am not officially diagnosed with social anxiety, I just relate to it.
Kindly I suggest you stopped doing that, because it only hinders you in the long run. I did this too with my own twin sister, she even spoke for me sometimes (i asked her to tell other people what i wanted from them, etc), and now i deeply regret not having exposed myself socially and having learned that everything is okay, since i've had social anxiety for almost 20 years now. Plus if you don't adress this issues somehow, they only get worse, and can make you vulnerable to people who prey on other's weaknesses. Best of luck to you and stay strong!
Russell Brand was discussing this on his channel today as well. He said he overcame his by not having expectations of fitting in socially and rather focusing on exchanging ideas instead. It's about being focused on feeling present in the conversation (mainly listening to others and their thoughts one on one, not focusing on groups or group conversations) and giving what you think the conversation "needs" to progress forward. Focus on meeting people on a spiritual level rather than a physical, emotionally vested level (not seeking approval or fishing for compliments). That made a lot of sense to me.
It's so weird. You're rewarded for your quietness in school, at home, etc since you're seen as well-behaved. And then when you get to be an adult, everything changes and you're now being punished for not speaking up, participating, sharing your opinion. At this point, being rewarded for your quietness or "being obedient", is just society's way of saying "you're no trouble and it gives me less work to deal with you"
I’ve been hiding this for 40 years and doing a darn good job of it too! I can pin point exactly when it started to when I was age 7 and the head master shouted at me for not reading out my part loud enough, the whole school laughed at me and I burst into tears. That’s the very moment my life got ruined and I lost all my confidence.
It's definitely a condition that people suffer from in silence. There is a ton of shame associated with it and I used to hide it away myself. Thanks for sharing!
I feel like this amongst other things is the main reason for my SAD persisting for as long as it did. Mentally, I don't have much of the common symptoms but physically, it seems like nothing's changing
Is the constant feeling of being watched and judged by everyone near you (even complete strangers in the passing by) an indicator of social anxiety? I’m 20 now, but I’ve felt like I was being constantly judged and looked for at least 10 years now.
I honestly have the same experience. Apart from that, however, when a stranger comes up to whether to talk to me or ask me a question my heart starts beating like crazy and I just wanna get out of the situation because I get so nervous. It really feels awful and it makes me feel bad because I see other’s and they seem completely fine but me I can’t deal with it. And college doesn’t help what with having to do ice breakers every semester, it makes it really hard but I’m dealing as best I can.
What if someone was very cheerful and extrovert as a kid and then becomes socially anxious, depressive, sad, introverted and feeling wasted as they go though teenage...
this was basically how I am. I used to be so extroverted and loved to speak with people, but the moment I realized people might not actually like me, or that they just talk to me to be polite, crushed me. from then on, I was terrified to speak to strangers. still am.
I love this woman’s brain. Anytime a video with her pops up I watch it. Her intelligence, the way she breaks things down, explains things so easily, she’s just brilliant.
My anxiety is so bad when I’m out and about: now schools have started again there’s been three occasions I couldn’t make it out the door and my child had to be collected late and by somebody else. Social anxiety is an awful thing to live with. I wish anyone dealing with it the best x
Is it me or do I feel like social anxiety victims seem to attract the ones who are very social and wants to continually hang out with them at social events!. I hate that..
It's really weird, I noticed it too. People that I had a few conversations with keep wanting to hang out with me even though I keep declining invitations. I feel so bad having to make up excuses as to why I can't make it, but my anxiety makes it impossible for me to enjoy social gatherings.
I’m 54 and I just realized this about myself a few months ago I have made plans for things with work friends over and over only to start trying to find a way out of it and most of the time canceling last min. Recently in a group of people, someone called me out. They said ,”this isn’t going to be one of those things that u say u are going, then don’t show is it?” I blurted out “I get very nervous, to the point of nausea as each event gets closer.” Thank you for giving a name to what I have been dealing with all these years.
Yes... She described this perfectly... Except for me, this stayed with me my whole life... I'm 49 and getting on the internet is as social as I can be while feeling comfortable... I'm the most comfortable, alone in my house, working on my electronics... Silence is my friend, away from society... away from a world that I don't trust
Your last words inspired me to write a text and express my feelings about my anxiety and how this world can make you feel like a social misfit.. so thank you.
@@lisafritz7376 I'm glad my words inspired you in a positive way Lisa. Trust in God, we may go through tough times in life, but don't be discouraged. The one key thing I know is that, the world will always fail us, but God sees us through all the trials and struggles. Put your faith in Christ, you can get through anything.
Social Anxiety Disorder has done incalculable damage to my life. This disorder does not get enough mainstream attention. We focus more on narcissism and whatnot.
Just know that you are not alone in this. Please talk with a therapist who will help you to reduce this kind of anxiety to live a more peaceful life. It will pay off.
Going through a bout this evening. It's weird, I can go hang out with the (two) friends of mine that I've known since middle school without much issue. As soon as a friend of a friend is involved I fall apart completely. Even when I know them fairly well, the thought of going to their place, outside of my sphere of comfort, is more than I can bear. Weird, and frustrating, because I do want to go spend time with these people but I simply can't. Then, of course, I feel that I'm pushing them away and I assume they feel like I don't want to be around them. And the negative thought spiral continues.
There must be a fine line between social anxiety and a avoidant personality. I grow up in a shitty narcissistic environment which totally murdered my self-confidence, especially during my formative years. I'm no doctor or have been diagnosed, but I check all the boxes for having environmental caused avoidant personality issues.
@@electricfishfan Definitely hit the nail in that AVPD affects all your relationships while SAD more so depends on situations (i.e. Large groups, public speaking, parties). Granted both disorders are characterized by having low self esteem and avoidance of people that many psychologists see AVPD as a generalized form of social anxiety. With AVPD there is a need to be liked where you are suspicious that every person in your life secretly does not like to be with you and doesn't see you as worth their time. A person with AVPD is obsessed with signs of rejection, disapproval and criticism from every person they meet. It goes beyond extreme shyness and more so towards every relationship you make becomes a battlefield where the slightest comment or action is perceived as rejection. A truly debilitating disorder :(
My social anxiety is by far the worst with one on one conversations.. where all the attention is on me and I have to make lots of eye contact. I feel more comfortable in groups generally.
The worst thing about my social anxiety is that I don't know how to be myself in a social setting, I tend to come off slightly extrovert to hide my anxiety and I'd do something stupid/ extra which makes my anxiety worse and I would keep thinking of the event and later on, I stop going to similar event. It's hard, I envy those people who walk alone and couldn't care less that she's walking/shopping alone. I hate that I look stupid because people could see through me that I have very low confidence and they tend to walk all over me. I'm depressed and everyday is a struggle.
@@therealist2000 it's okay. Everything is going to be fine. Atleast you and I are here because we know what we are struggling with and that social anxiety disorder is an actually thing. We are one step ahead and we'll eventually learn how to free away from this. I'm 24 , I just came to know I have social anxiety just recently. And now, I'm searching on ways to overcome it which is a good thing, right?
*"the reason why they might turn away from the job that they love is because of fear"* A sad reality for socially anxious people. Social anxiety literally hinders my potential to improve myself and pursue my dreams. I can't imagine how far I might have gone now when this fear that is now embedded into my system didn't exist in the first place
my my my, I can relate so deep. I know I could be so successful in life. My anxiety is so bad that it has a resulted in a struggling life for me. I’ve turned down so many high paying jobs due to the overwhelming force of anxiety. It is a sad reality, crazy thing is... I was very popular in school, very outgoing, star football player - anxiety wasn’t even a thought in my mind. At about the age of 21-22 my whole world changed. Don’t know what happened, I just changed ... and not for the better. Think about what most people consider a nightmare - my nightmare is walking into a room of people, my nightmare is going to a job interview, my nightmare is going to FAMILY GATHERINGS. I haven’t celebrated a single holiday in 5 years - I constantly refuse invites to EVERYTHING. Why am I this way? I’m told I’m good-looking, I get compliments. Why can’t I just shake this? God only knows. Maybe I was born to fail.
@@dayzreloadedpve Its like you read my mind. I have also turned down many high paying jobs due to anxiety which has negatively affected my life in so many way. It is sad and I'm constantly praying to God for an intervention or something close but i don't know if it is too late... I hope things are better for you now
filwe, do you know that Jesus is coming back soon? Are you ready? Today is the day of salvation, choose LIFE (Jesus) before it's too late. It won't be long now until the great tribulation of 7 years starts (the last 7 years of the world as it is now, and Jesus will save His followers before the great tribulation starts ), all the signs of the times are pointing towards this, and Jesus is your only hope for salvation, so I'm begging you to ask God to open your eyes and to consider these words from God's Word carefully: "Jesus said , “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." (John 14:6) "...if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved. For the Scripture says, “Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.” For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all, bestowing his riches on all who call on him. For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” (Romans 10:9-13) "But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8) "Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, He was buried, He was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures" (1 Corinthians 15) For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. (Ephesians 2:8-9) Jesus Christ said : “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. (Matthew 11:28) Please watch this: ua-cam.com/video/RPvghpK3oxk/v-deo.html super interesting, especially for these times!!
Many people who are strong didn’t have it easy. You will get through this and it will feel that much sweeter because you have also been exposed to pain. Many Blessings to you
I actually wouldn't mind a little sticker for talking to a human at a party. Even going to a party is a huge achievement! That little show of validation might be so rewarding
Omg i feel you, my parents telling me to get a job, but i just can't it's so hard. In school too i have no friends, I'm the only awkward guy in class, i skip school a lot, the teacher think that I'm rude, but i can't control my life, my social anxiety and depression controls my life. I just want to be normal, I turned 18 last month, just thinking about how the last 5 years was i cry.
Im just 14 but i know Im gonna get this problem too when i grow up, cause Im ass at talking to people and having presentations. And my add is to no help either
I remember when my face would be flushed red when ever I had to talk and id go in the bathroom cause i didnt want to go to lunch to avoid social interactions
I believe that I have pretty bad social anxiety (I took a lot of online tests, watched videos and read articles on it) and it just progressively gets worse as I get older. My parents won’t allow me to get a diagnosis or professional help with it. They just dismiss it by saying, “I get nervous too!” Or “why do you want to have anxiety?” And it literally makes me so mad because they downplay everything that I tell them. I had my first anxiety attack (and it was at school), and I couldn’t even go to anyone about it, cuz they won’t believe me. I was literally shaking, and I had to keep saying that I was fine/okay but I wasn’t at all. My parents also do things that trigger my social anxiety by forcing me into social situations to the point where I’m almost crying and down play it by saying that I’m being dramatic or that I hate being around people, when in actuality I want to but I just can’t. Now whenever I think about my social anxiety I literally cry, because I know that I can’t get help with it as long as I’m under my parents care (another 3 years). If you actually read all of that, thank you, I really had to get that off of my chest🙂
My friend, no one cares about you or how you look. Not in the mean way, but strangers don’t give a shit about you. You don’t give a shit about them so why would they of you? You have nothing to worry about!! I hope you figure it out. The more you talk to others, the more fun life gets!! 🥳🥳
One thing right with me is I am always trying to improve even if it doesn't work out. My partner has the ability to not let things get to him easily, he is always trying to enjoy life and be happy. He is such a ray of sun for me on dark days.
Social anxiety has gotten in my way of finding a better job. I’m 28 and have been working at the same minimum wage job since I was 16. I need to find a better job to be able to pay my rent but I just get so scared to go to job interviews or workwith new people. I’ve struggled with social anxiety since I was 4 years old. I didn’t talk in school until I changed schools in 3rd grade when I made my first friend and finally started to talk to someone. I struggled all throughout school with making friends and my grades were really bad because I wouldn’t turn in projects just so I wouldn’t have to participate in presentations.
🥲girl I’m the same ! 27 & I need a job but I’m so anxious just to apply! The fact that we’re here searching for help gives me hope that we will get through it! It may take way longer than we hope but we’ll get there ❤️❤️
my anxiety was very bad... but I conquered it by pushing myself to socialize with people. I still have 10% of it left. I was always told that I wasn't good at stuff which made me feel im not good enough for certain things like jobs.. which is totally in my head
@@mohinib2001 i have that issue where your aware of the expectations of others socially so to not stand out or be labeled weird and attacked..we do alot of masking. This makes us feel like we are not being genuine and to me thats the number one thing i hate not being. My genuine self sees no need for talking without purpose most people like small talk my genuine response is to say whats necessary and move on. But idk if im naturally this way or i was made to be this way by the way i grew up and now it just feels normal because its familiar.
@@mohinib2001 like for example when im at work my mind is on work so i ignore social cues and tend to not say hi to people when i walk by. Its not on purpose its just my mind is on something else but people take it personally.
i was crying..so hard...watching this video...make me shock how accurate...this video touch my heart....to know someone point it out the struggles and how partner play role in helping 😭😭😭
Thank you for this video! I've always suffered socially and I'm now realizing what I experience is all symptoms of social anxiety. Even though I can hardly go out without at some point feeling suffocated, meeting people is horrifying, and I'll always be a little jealous of people who can socialize more than me, I actually think my social anxiety is a kind of beautiful thing because only the most understanding and lovely people have access to me, and I'm so comfortable in my own company. I just think they're some beautiful things that not a whole lot of people these day have ♥️
I hope everyone is these comments that's suffering with social anxiety can accept themselves at some point because really something mind-blowing for me is just accepting that social situations are harder for me than they are for others and it doesn't make anything inherently wrong with me
I don’t wanna get up, because everyone will stare at me. I don’t wanna talk because I’m scared what you might think. I don’t wanna make friends because I never know what to say. I cry not because I’m sad, but because I’m not in my comfort place. I don’t look at you because I’ll make it awkward. And saying “It’s because of that damn phone” doesn’t change the fact that I don’t want to exist. - The Quiet Kid
I hate it here. I was always ‘the quiet kid’ in class. I got so used of the phrases “u can talk? 😮” and “oOoOOoooOo she can talk?!😦😦” like fr it’s annoying and frustrating
I have social anxiety and it sucks so bad. I feel like people always stare at me or judge me. People scare me. Talking to people, being in front of the class makes me so anxious. Even with my family, Im shy and easily embarrassed. I hide my face from people, especially when we have visitors at home. My family would even get mad at me or say not nice things about me being so shy. It sucks and I just want to be confident and be braver. I used to get panic attacks back when I was in school and I never got any help
Hey mate, try training. Try get yourself out walking, running, cycling and swimming. Any physical exercise will help. I used to hate exercising but now it definitely helps. Set yourself little tasks if you can. For instance today I’ll go in a shop on my own and look around. Tomorrow I may buy something. The next day I may ask the person how much something is. When people have phobias they hit their phobias head on in stages. Remember panic attacks usually go on their own and don’t pose a threat to you. Try meditating. Never sit around thinking about negative stuff so keep your mind occupied. You don’t know what’s around the corner in life - so try to look forwards to the possibilities. 👍
@@sprre3899 thank you for the advice, it's very kind of you! I actually work out, but I stopped for awhile since I was feeling empty and just really down. Im trying to get back on track and maybe do sports!
@@sprre3899 im actually the only one like this in my fam. They actually get mad or annoyed whenever I get panic attacks or anxious. I guess the reason is when I was a kid, them trying to discipline me made a negative impact
@@LyleLane Yeh usually social anxiety can be traced back to things that have happened in childhood. Quite often being made to stand up in school and read or act for example can cause so much stress it impacts our development. I think that coupled with someone who may be naturally sensitive, or like someone who’s a thinker so to speak, can be tough. Don’t worry keep challenging yourself, never hide away from your fears, but don’t bite off more than you can chew. As you get older the social anxiety should subside also. Keep your chin up mate and always smile!
Social anxiety is often needing to find that golden social fit, current people maybe not a very socially invigorating environment you truly resonate with.
I'm 35, and for as long as I remember I have always been called out for being "anti-social" by my friends and others I would meet. I'm sure in most cases, they meant no harm and may even have been joking. But this had a huge impact, as it made me that much more self conscious in many ways. Oh, and let's not forget all the times I was literally called out in public, like at a party 😔...right in front of others I do not even know.
I have anxiety since a very young age, but I only understand it in high school, i used to shake,my heart would beat so fast, i didn't like to be around other people, i didn't had friends, i would to talk to myself cause I didn't had anyone to talk to...things got way better when I went to college but I still feel it some times
One thing thats right about me is that i never give up even when im at my lowest. One thing thats right about my kids is that they are really smart for their age.
What an awesome strength! I would just like to say perseverance is a beautiful quality; no matter how difficult or big the mountain might be infront of you, you will get to the other side, It may not happen overnight but the journey and things you learn along the way will become a new set of tools that you have knowledge of and the wisdom to use. Continue to grow my friend and may God bless you and your children.
I just want to tell fellow social anxiety suffers that when you have a hard, awkward moment with people don't feel shame about it or look down upon urself about it bc when ever you find urself in those situations that are unfamilar and make u uncomfortable ur actual facing ur fears and that is a great victory. If you might of had some little situation like saying something awkward to ur crush don't regret it, say to urself- hey, even though i think this situation should be easy its actually hard for me but the corageous thing is that I made it through and am learning everytime, so in my own way its a victory. don't compare urself to others, only compare urself to who you were yesterday. This thinking helps me at least lol
I feel that i'm being judged no matter where i go. I feel that i always need to worry about what other people are thinking of me. I feel that everytime someone walks by me, i have to look perfect. I feel my heart beating so fast whenever i'm called on by a teacher infront of my class. I feel scared about humiliating myself and act in ways that just isn't me. I feel the need to turn around when i see someone else headed for the same place i am.
I used to have massive social anxiety. Esp. as a teenager and then in my early adult years. So bad and paralyzing.... But I worked on my healing - from traumas, narcissistic abuse, ACEs, CPTSD -- and as I recovered more and more, I found more strength and authenticity in myself. A year or so ago I was loading up on speakers like Brene Brown, who are bold, authentic and outspoken , desperately wanting to be a little bit like them. What helped me the most with my healing, authenticity and overcoming social anxiety is beginning to share my story, my struggles and feelings and helping out others. I now see how much I've grown and come into myself and love it! Still more to go, but it's a beautiful journey. You got this! Maybe try helping someone out who's in a darker place than you - you have more strength and gifts than you even know.😘
i always had the thought that i probably had social anxiety for many years now, but now im in a period in my life where its gotten alot worse again, and so i decided to reseach it more, and i cannot belive how much i can relate to EVERYTHING said in this video. I also have a few ticks that i didnt know was linked to my anxiety, i just thought they were weird habbits.
Just presented in class and had to stop and take a step back, breathe and gather my thoughts because my mind was racing, body shaking and I can feel myself allowing anxiety to take over my damn presentation and my life. So I went back to it, face it and kick that anxiety ass while presenting. Then cried aferwards
I need a friend like her.. none of my friends understand, no matter how many times I tell them. They just make me feel bad for not going to social events with them
I have social anxiety and I literally put on an act of being outgoing. I hate every single second of being there and hate every conversation but you would never ever suspect it. I put on my “social” face which is exhausting. I have to do it for work as well because I used to work in customer service and now run my own service based business. It is so hard. My husband died and now I don’t even have that partner to support me but I have two kids that want to go out and do stuff. It sucks.
Something right about me - I am open-minded and welcoming of people, I try to include them. I am a loyal friend too. Something right about her - she is kind and hasn’t abandoned her old friends.
That sounds great actually!! Didn’t thought it’s possible to build a strong relationship on the internet. I do have a few online friends but wouldn’t know how far our friendship would go. Hopefully to the point where I would meet them, like your experience
My problem is: whenever family asks "How did it go?" and the anxiety emerges so I say "I don't think it went well. I asked a question that didn't make sense to anybody and it looked weird.", my family has called me "conceited", "selfish" ,"self-centered", and "pessimistic" for feeling like I screwed up and everyone noticed. All of the negative feedback from family just makes me feel worse and the downward spiral continues.
Critical family and parents is often what leads to the condition or worsens it. So often parents know exactly how to push the poor self esteem button because they did their best to make us feel small and insignificant. This is especially true is they accuse you of being one way but your whole way of being is the opposite. I am on the spectrum and very honest but if my mum had misplaced something she would accuse me of taking it or using stuff that was hers, such as face cream. She even licked toothpaste off my face when I was 13 (I was making a home made face mask and I told her I had not taken her face cream...and she accused me of lying. To the point that she tasted the compound on my skin to prove I was lying.) Of course she knew immediately she was wrong and finally apologized but by that point I was in tears and felt so demeaned.
Sometimes i just wonder what's the point of life when i can never live to my ''potential'', by this i mean wasting so many opportunities of new hobbies and friendships, and so on. Feels like i don't live for myself, i live for/by a certain ''code'' that's predominant in my head. Years of my valuable teenage years just fly past, looking how others are having fun and enjoying life, doing things that i could only dream of, while i'm just deep in my misery and feeling anxious even when i'm alone in my room and playing videogames all day long. Social anxiety has partly ruined my life. It has always been an essential part of me, since i can remember, and therefore i don't see myself ever getting rid of it. Good luck for all of you socially anxious people in your struggle.
I love this woman/doctor. I could listen to her talk forever...I always feel better after watching her videos on the topics which apply to me. Oh! And great host!
Does anyone else feel like they have to go out because you don’t want anyone to talk down on you. Being picked on for having social anxiety made it even more difficult for me to socialize. Now I feel judged everywhere, alone and around people.
🙋🏽♀️🤦🏾♀️ I keep trying to overcome my social anxiety. I’ve been like this since I was a kid. I’m 40 now and I feel more withdrawn from people. it’s crippling to what I would like to accomplish in life...
I went through a huge change in the transition from childhood to teens. Changed school, moved away, even the people in my family I lived with changed. After that I went completely inwards and completely lost my footing of everything. Now, more than 10 years later, even if I'm light years better than before, I still struggle a lot with my social life and have only recently realized social anxiety is a thing and that I definitely have it. Even when it comes to friends I know for years, I sweat, my stomach flutters and my heartbeat elevates when I think of going out with them. But talking in public I've got no major problems with, IF I know what I'm gonna say and have time to prepare for it. I'd easily take presenting a project in front of my whole company than going on a barbecue party with the same people.
How is this so similar to my life?! Moved and had a huge transition right at the start of my teen years. Became much more nervous, socially anxious, etc. Professional settings like performances and presentations are better because I know exactly what to do/say and have an exact structure.
Yes, being a minority & how people interact with them can affect their mental health and how they see themselves. Feeling different, feeling like “the other”, drawing that unwanted attention...
Growing up as natural citizen of the United States, elementary school interactions revealed early how our culture othernizes minorities. Indian, Asian, Muslim, and Hispanic students were absolutely marginalized in group situations strickly for race alone. Now, whenever I make contact with a foreign national i.e. the elderly Mexican woman and young Sri Lankan man at my work, I acknowledge them and let them know that they will he accepted and treated equally like everyone else should be.
There are different layers to overcoming it too. I have suffered from social anxiety my entire life, but have made great strides in overcoming public speaking, especially with preparation. Ad hoc group situations are still a fear that I actively avoid and it is really holding me back.
R Law, do you know that Jesus is coming back soon? Are you ready? Today is the day of salvation, choose LIFE (Jesus) before it's too late. It won't be long now until the great tribulation of 7 years starts (the last 7 years of the world as it is now, and Jesus will save His followers before the great tribulation starts ), all the signs of the times are pointing towards this, and Jesus is your only hope for salvation, so I'm begging you to ask God to open your eyes and to consider these words from God's Word carefully: "Jesus said , “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." (John 14:6) "...if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved. For the Scripture says, “Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.” For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all, bestowing his riches on all who call on him. For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” (Romans 10:9-13) "But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8) "Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, He was buried, He was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures" (1 Corinthians 15) For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. (Ephesians 2:8-9) Jesus Christ said : “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. (Matthew 11:28) Please watch this: ua-cam.com/video/RPvghpK3oxk/v-deo.html super interesting, especially for these times!!
I've been hiding this my whole life and never spoke out once. Now everyone in my life thinks I'm wierd, at least I think they do. I love my friends and family to bits but just avoid social gatherings. Depressing isnt the word.
The more time I spend with my 15 year old daughter, the more confident she is when she goes to school. Validating her feelings and acknowledging her talents has made a difference as well:) It wasn’t easy to get close when she was closing herself off and that’s when I realized that just sitting quietly by her warmed her up. Patients and love 💖
i’m great because i have a grateful heart and am constantly open to criticism, my mother have a really pure heart and always looks out for others, my father knows how to reaffirm and encourages others and show that he cares.
Melody, do you know that Jesus is coming back soon? Are you ready? Today is the day of salvation, choose LIFE (Jesus) before it's too late. It won't be long now until the great tribulation of 7 years starts (the last 7 years of the world as it is now, and Jesus will save His followers before the great tribulation starts ), all the signs of the times are pointing towards this, and Jesus is your only hope for salvation, so I'm begging you to ask God to open your eyes and to consider these words from God's Word carefully: "Jesus said , “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." (John 14:6) "...if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved. For the Scripture says, “Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.” For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all, bestowing his riches on all who call on him. For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” (Romans 10:9-13) "But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8) "Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, He was buried, He was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures" (1 Corinthians 15) For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. (Ephesians 2:8-9) Jesus Christ said : “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. (Matthew 11:28) Please watch this: ua-cam.com/video/RPvghpK3oxk/v-deo.html super interesting, especially for these times!!
I Spread Love by Example My close friends understand my Social anxiety Disorder and I'm really thankful for them and their support. Frank🙏 Drew 🙏 Kris 🙏
Thank you Kyle for asking the right questions! I love that fact you all break it down and can help us differentiate between a person’s personality vs when something is becoming a hindrance to them being their authentic selves. These talks have helped me immensely with my interpersonal relationships and my relationship with myself.
My panic attacks are diffrent everytime, although usually they are triggered by something, i have had attacks while lying in bed trying to fall asleep. scariest thing ever! so glad i have not had one in public.. Things are much better now!!! I have not had an attack in over 5 months now…* Here’s how => t.co/SShXwevAHG
I have situational social anxiety I’m confident in talking and meeting people on my terms. My anxiety starts when I have no control over meetings, people and settings. It’s like because I never planned or set out too do that it sends me into over drive. I can’t stop thinking about it , can’t sleep and it always goes over.
I have been living with a mix of Generalizer Anxiety Disorder and Depression all my life. Every second goes by with these thoughts in mind. Aimless and with no purpose.
when i was little - around 7, my family always visit cousins and go to grandparents' home during holidays where everyone in my huge family would gather. i was fine when there wasn't many people gathered yet at their home. so i kept myself comfortable with my family at first. but the moment i heard a car approaching with the voice of other kids, i start to feel anxious. the moment they go upstairs where i mostly spend my alone time, just playing and talking to each other, i sat on a wooden coffee table while they all sit on the floor. quietly, never spoke a single word throughout the holiday, sitting there hugging my legs, covering my face and avoid any social interaction. until my family call me to eat and do stuff and that's about it. i truly hate my old self for sitting on higher ground than them while actually made people look at me weird. one of my cousins also took a picture of everyone in the damn room and there i was so awkward and pity looking. they never cared, they always ask why i'm so damn quiet and i never replied. "just talk" can't you see i couldn't. now, i'm in college and shits are tougher but i'm getting better. wish to meet a therapist one day, very insecure of my voice
Yea you did seem pretty weird as a kid, but who cares lol. Life goes on and no one truly cares! Easier said than done, but learn to not give a shit! You control your life! 🥳
I am pretty sure that I've devolved into a condition of social anxiety disorder over the last several years. I'm currently in an acute state of stress and anxiety. Last weekend was terrible for me, as I got panicky during a poker night with some guys I didn't know. I haven't been able to unwind and now I'm once again in a state of deep distress. I take Ativans at night in order to fall asleep, otherwise I can't. Following the advice of the interviewee, I do have strengths that I can name. I'm attentive to people's emotions, I am caring, I'm good at my job, and I used to be pretty sociable. I hope I can recover some of the person I used to be.
oh my god. I burst into tears when you directed the question to us to say one right thing about ourselves, because nobody ever asks that and i panicked because I felt like i didnt have an answer. now that i calmed down, i would say that despite my multiple "wrong" with me stuff. the fact that im on this page, that im aware of what they are is something I got right. I was able to recognize when i wasnt okay and raised my hand and said i need help. and im obviously still seeking it. so theres that. thank you both. i love hearing your conversations. going to watch more videos now.
![Severe Social Anxiety vs Being an Introvert [Key Differences]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/d_Zj_7a6l64/mqdefault.jpg)
![Severe Social Anxiety vs Being an Introvert [Key Differences]](/img/tr.png)
What's one thing that's "right" about you and one thing that's "right" about someone in your life? ( 10:28 )
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*Watch our FREE series on anxiety w Dr Ramani HERE: **bit.ly/3wcgTNb*
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One thing which is right about me is that I am very straightforward person (though many people hate this ). One thing which is right about my eldest brother is that he is very responsible guy.
What a great prompt/exercise!
I feel one thing that's right about me is my compassion.
One thing right about my mum is that she taught me to embrace and love all cultures and races.
I picked my mum for this, because she's one of the most difficult people I've ever known, and there was so much wrong in that relationship, so for my own peace, it feels right to find and be grateful for what was good in that relationship.
One thing that’s right about me is that I’m really good at praising people when I think they’ve done something good. I’m good at remembering to do so🙂
One thing that’s good about my coworker is that she is truly excellent at what she does. Every time I go to work I admire her!😄
I've been binge watching all your talks with Dr Ramani and I've been learning a lot so thank you for that!
One thing "right" about me is I always search for a new thing to do and a despite me being introverted I'd like to challenge myself
One thing "right" about my boyfriend is that he knows how to calm me and center and help me work and fight all my anxieties.
I'm kind to most people and all animals. My oldest daughter is outgoing, funny, and kind. If I don't know someone, sometimes I might talk to them, but sometimes I'm paralyzed and can't say a word. I'm the strangest person on the planet.
All I ever wanted was to feel confident
i have been doing NoFap today is day 21 and my social anxiety has decreased slightly. man i suggest you try it. even If you don't believe it's better to try and see if it helps. i wish you good luck, i Hope you can get decrease your levels of social anxiety aswell.
@@Shhehwhsi24 thanks a lot man i will try it
Great tribulation wtf😆
You live once live your life and not for gods that not exist you really brainwashed😬
This is nature there is no god life is life death is death, death is end there is nothing after it mommy brought us to the world to live you live and leave the world everyone does that. This is nature nature is god😂🤷🏽♂️
yes
Does anyone else have this overwhelming feeling of just crying when thinking about suffering from anxiety?
Whenever I feel any emotion that's overwhelming, it results in crying, so yes. It's the body's way of handling all that stress, even if it's only hypothetical.
Yes, it is a normal feeling. I’ve been there. It’s important to express it and not suppress it, otherwise it will lead to more anxiety, frustration, anger... To accept it & then work on it.
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Sometimes. Rn I just cried just bc of thinking that I'll have a presentation soon ;-;
What's worst is being put on the spot and reading something, stumbling over your words, and crying afterwards because you think you made a fool out of yourself.
"Anything where they feel they will be evaluated socially." Bingo! Great way to describe this.
Totally 😉
@James
Two weeks after applying his method to my life, my life has completely changed 🤣
Public speaking, social anxi ety problems, and various types of addi ctions have begun to disappear 🤣🤣
Recommend this kindle book
: m.site.naver.com/0E0Ap
Thanks ua-cam.com/video/_K1ic7C0FtM/v-deo.html
Thanks ua-cam.com/video/_K1ic7C0FtM/v-deo.html
ua-cam.com/video/xcziYDTs1MM/v-deo.html
My dad used to punish me for being so quiet and socially anxious. It made it even worse
Me too. They would also yell that people were staring (at the spectacle they caused) which only made it worse.
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I know. I just got worse=(
How fucked up. I got bullied, teased, labeled, and treated as a child or like im mentally retarded incapable of functioning in public which was pure ignorance about social anxiety. I had no support to help cope barely understanding what i was experiencing in the first place so i ran with im just overly shy. We must break the silence and stigmas its ridiculous
yh kids in my class make fun of me for being quiet and it just makes it worse and makes me even more uncomfortable so i know how you feel
Is it just me that I feel I am judged even when I am alone in my room?
It's not just you... Replaying past moments, insecurities about your looks...
Y E S. I do that... it's so sad that even alone i can't stop feeling this, as if any wrong step will make everyone hate me for the rest of my life.
I felt that way most of my life. It is better now that I have processed the expectations of my parents and since I have fully deconverted from the religion I was brought up in. Now it feels a lot less like I am being watched/judged by someone else and more like I am watching/looking out for myself.
Last year I went to a social function my hubby's work buddies were hosting, and their spouses were there. Against my better judgment, I went. I was almost paralyzed and didn't speak a word to anyone except the initial hellos to everyone. I just couldn't talk, at all. Has ANYONE else done something like this? I'll NEVER go back to a function like that. WTH is wrong with me?
If I am alone with an animal eg: a cat , I start to wonder if the cat is judging me or thinks I am stupid.
I think social anxiety is the core belief that people are dangerous, and won't be kind towards you.
Yeah, people with SA have the belief that people will hurt them, usually emotionally, but I think the core belief is that there's something wrong with them specifically. There are people out there who are very distrustful of people in general and think everyone's selfish etc. but they're not socially anxious because they don't feel like there's anything wrong with them. It's a self esteem and self worth issue.
I agree. That's what I feels when I socialize. I always thought people will always disrespect me, and they DO disrespect me most of the time.
@@thisisntallowed9560
Yes, I think they're being judgemental, they're always see me as some kind of weird alien because I'm very awkward. That's is the worst situation ever but everytime I socialize in public, those situation always happen. I'm f*ked.
@@thisisntallowed9560
Well, I do have fun a bit at school but outside of school, I feels likes an outsider. I'm not even in the minority group or immigrants in my country but yet I still feels likes an outcast. Maybe I need to be more outgoing but I'm very afraid and don't likes socializing.
@@thisisntallowed9560
It's not that I'm completely in fear, I have takes a few steps to socialize but they're ended up in a DISASTER. Now I'm back to 0. I read and watch a lots of about self help books and videos, learned about stoic lifestyle and all that stuff but sadly it's didn't do much to me. Maybe I have low IQ or something but I hope you can overcome social anxiety and have a great life :)
It's completely hopeless to me.
I always feel awkward. I never know what to say to people. I always wonder how people always have so much to say and as a result, have joy in everyday life, even at work. Why was I born different and as a result, depressed??
You will overcome and this will be your testimony 🙏
That’s me all day everyday even with my close friends and family. It feels impossible to talk sometimes and it’s so frustrating because I have no idea why I’m like this
@@alejandrogutierrez9380 ditto! expressing myself is so hard. I feel so much inside but when I can't express what I feel. It feels depressing.
I don’t have a lot of friends cause of my severe social anxiety, I have a lot of trouble trying to communicate with new people.
I feel the same way, I can’t be in groups or go out by myself. Family doesn’t understand really, no friends and in a new country by myself since I recently got out of a toxic relationship. Just opening my mouth to speak makes me fell like I am in a panic and nothing I say seems right. Christmas is gonna be fun
I have social anxiety, but I’ve never experienced any bullying or anything like that, I get very nervous around friends of friends, and I also get really shy and embarrassed around my close family.... When a teacher calls on me in class I panic and end up stuttering, I’m genuinely very awkward but when I’m around people, it gets worse.
Dont feel bad im the same way,it sucks so bad
You will overcome
@Charlie Gaming 🎯
What you just said is exactly the same for me
I’m actually astonished, everything you said describes me perfectly.
For people who have social anxiety as myself, we have to also choose which crowd we go into. Surround yourself with people who are good, compassionate and respectful. The root of our social anxiety I believe is developed from a chronic exposure to bullying and criticism, sometimes within the family and peers, this is like giving a child an understanding that any environment is hostile. And as a child grows he withdraws from any social interaction as a protective action that learned during childhood. I wish for you and any other people who suffer from social anxiety to unlearn this behavior, this is costing me of my joy and great opportunities in life. :(
I totally agree with you! It’s often triggered by bullying. I was bullied for about 13-14 years of my life which triggered major social anxiety & awkwardness.
I believe trauma is the root of social anxiety, it’s something a child learns and is not born with. Something that helps me is to remember that you also get to chose who you like or dislike just as much as others, think of the qualities of the person you’re taking to and thing you like or dislike about them. The world isn’t out to get you. I hate having social anxiety and am sorry you also have to struggle with it.
@@angelicahoff1420 this realization has also really helped me. Instead of chronically thinking "does this person like me? what can i do/say/behave in order for this person to like me??" ask instead "do i like this person? what qualities about them make me feel good?". once you begin that process it is much easier to attract people that are right for you and will help heal you anxiety around people by positive reinforcement
@@angelicahoff1420 Usually these are chronic disorder, could be caused by genetics
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i love how freaking wholesome this chat is like- everyone is just venting out their problems and their is no negativity here its just such a wholesome venting comment section omg^^
I wouldn't call it "wholesome" since people are venting their traumas and abuse. But I understand what you mean.
@@beefortebrea9386 Agreed - and this might sound stupid, but I prefer to vent on these types of videos on YT, where there are other people with SAD.
I feel like it’s better than venting/ranting to your acquaintances for example. They most likely wouldn’t understand or anything (like mine) - in addition that had lead to me losing them and getting ignored by them because they thought I was mental, but I did tell them about my case of SAD before, and they began being nice and kind for 2-3 weeks, and after that I was ignored and shoved again - I feel like it was all my fault for straight up venting like that, and it lead to a misunderstanding, but still, for them to suddenly ignore and shove me all the time gets me on my nerves. It really does.
@@beanhead7632 I only comment on these videos because I can relate to so many people here, now I feel I have dropped too many comments.
I'm at home
* there
i can't even write a comment without feeling judged
Edit: gladly I’m not this kind of person anymore
I’m sorry :(
same...
😆 me tto
Same.
@blue tiger same here
My social anxiety is so bad that I feel like people are going to judge me in my casket when I die...
You will overcome this and live a quality life. This anxiety will be a thing of the past for you and you will help others who suffer from anxiety. You are a healer, never give up
They will.
@@Abr022575 what’s wrong with you
The way I also thought about this 💀💀
I don't even want a funeral. It would be so embarrassing if only a couple of people showed up.
I think people with social anxiety are naturally very kind and empathetic, sure it sucks sometimes but remember to see the beauty in yourself from time to time❤️
❤️
It's not like if I'm quiet kid I'm 100% good boy, i swear at home how much I want. Everyone expect shy people to behave good, to have rich inner world and to like reading books. I was stupid at studying at school more than others in my class (there wasn't a reason to call me smart ass or nerd) i didn't liked any thing they teached, i hated all that stuff as everyone do. Maybe if I didn't have social anxiety i would be a bully or something.
@@SirusStarTV it's okay. You don't have to be awesome to be accepted with a flaw.
I just accept now that i'm gonna be single for the rest of my life. I can't even maintain an eye contact with my friends.
Believe me, I know exactly how that is (but it does get better and that's not just something people say). I was exactly that way for a little over a year before it actually got way better. But you've gotta know how to give yourself a break, and you've got to know how to be productive with your mental health during that break so that things are better when you do reconnect. It does take a while, and there are ups and downs, and I used to think it could never any get better and I'd just never look at anyone again (but that wasn't true, and it wasn't too helpful to tell myself that). Because I was like "it's been a year since I've really made much eye contact with anyone because of my anxiety/panic disorder, so... how's it gonna get any better?" But I was wrong, happily. :) When I allowed myself to have the boundaries I needed, respecting my limits, but slowly extending those boundaries/limits while having compassion on myself (and having 'tough love' at times, which can require a little courage, I know), and putting everything into perspective, everything got so much better over time (though sometimes I was frustrated with the pace of it, which is natural). And ultimately, some people accept me anyway, now that I've learned to communicate my difficulties. They're the people worth having around. I realize that I don't need the unsupportive people in my life anyway (and maybe you don't either). :) I can even be happy alone, but now I'm not alone. A guy even asked me for my number despite my lack of eye contact, and I was later able to make a lot of direct eye contact with him without feeling anxious, which would have been impossible a year before. It's really okay. :) You're not defective. Please don't sell yourself short. You can make things better eventually, but you have to nurture your way towards that. When you're feeling so much, moving forward in spite of that is really brave, so don't act like you can't do anything. Celebrate the small successes. You're worth it, and with so many people also suffering from anxiety disorders or whatever might be (maybe Aspergers? my cousins with Aspergers have difficulty making eye contact as well), you are NOT alone. There are people who were just like you who'd understand and would be fine with it, or would help you grow. It just takes patience, though I know how difficult it is to have that. :) P.S. I know this was really long, sorry, lol. Hope it helps. Plz take care of yourself.
really? wow my anxiety isnt that bad.
@@elizaj8182 i'm going to save your reply on my keep notes..thank you so much for this💜
@@HoneyNotbunnie You're welcome. :) Anytime you need someone to talk to.
You are not alone, this too shall pass and you will overcome ❤️
The difficult thing about social anxiety is that you need to interact with someone to get help. If you're at the point where you're experiencing severe social anxiety, how do you get help? If you can't speak to anyone, what do you do? I'm really glad that the internet is a thing and a lot of organisations and companies are doing services online rather than in person. Although in a way, I wonder if that sort of enables the social anxiety? Instead of having to go out and do things in person, people are staying home and doing them online where going in person could be valuable exposure therapy. Maybe if people got together more in person there would be less socially anxious people?
Just go and do it regardless of how hard is to make an appoinment or to talk to your family about your issues. Find the right moment and do it even if it's super awkward..
Yes. I want to speak with my university's mental health clinicians. How do I get in contact with them: "for non-emergency visits please call..." - wtf
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online therapy through chat helps...
i can't even speak to people
I try to make people who look awkward or nervous at social gatherings feel welcome by just saying hello and chatting with them. My friend Charlene S. is so kind and patient and loyal and forgiving I don't know where I would be without her.
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Thank you for making a difference for those who need it, the world is a better place because of you
❤️
@@thistagworked That's really hard. I've been in that situation. It's frustrating and it makes me sad. Or it used to. I'm an introver but I'm also a writer. I got a degree in Journalism so I HAD to learn how to make myself walk up and talk to people. If I didn't I'd either flunk my class or get fired, lol. So I did it. And now I can do it. I still get very nervous. But most of the time I can reach out and say hello. It's not fair to you but maybe if you can take a small risk and say Hi to him that might work. Also you could also just take a book with you somewhere. I used to do that all the time but I was raised before there was Internet, lol. If they don't want to talk to you you don't have to talk to them. Just open your book. It works better than a phone. And it doesn't run out of power.
That is very kind of you.
Does anyone feel like when they’re teacher says out there name for the attendance list your heart starts beating so fast and you start shaking and after you say your name you over think it and ask yourself if you sounded too weird or quirky and if anybody laughed or judged at you?
aha same, I hated that
That's so me
That’s me at 21.. fkn shii
Wow, never knew other people went through this, I’ve been like this for years and just thought it was because I was “shy” or what not, then I realized it started to get progressively worse as I got older, with little things such as giving a waiter my order but not because I’m insecure in the way I sound, but because I was and still am afraid of speaking in front of everyone around me and assuming they’re judging me in their head. I’m 17 and finally decided to take a few social anxiety tests online because I had never really thought about it until recently, and after taking a few tests I always seemed to end up in the more severe to even extreme categories for some of them. What honestly bugs me the most is that I’m fully aware that all this is happening but feel like I cant ever get rid of it. It’s controlling my life and my teen years even though these are supposed to be some of the most fun years of my life yet I just stay trapped in my room to avoid these things. Hate it.
All the time. I didn’t really enjoy roll calls. Always criticised myself on how I would say “present” or “yes”. Every time I would start to feel nervous and anxious and I hated the feeling because I just didn’t understand why I had to feel that way (and I still don’t get it).
I don’t even eat in school. Sometimes I feel like crying because I’m so hungry, And i want to eat, but I feel like people are gonna judge me...
Edit: Guys i got over the fear, I can eat in peace now 🙏
Same,but just remember everybody is focusing on themselves not you
Same,nd i think sometimes u fill vomit also.m I rgt?
oh i experienced that in high school where i was the tallest girl in the campus. and i cannot walk on the pathway without other students looking at me. it made me conscious of my height and too embarassed that i dont even want to go to the cafeteria.
actually i'm a very obnoxious eater but i can't even interact with peoole, i can't look at them, i can't talk slowly and calm. i freak out and try to escape that situation as fast as possible.
Same
Most times when I’m in a social situation I won’t feel quite as anxious when I have someone I know who is outgoing to hide behind. My sister, for example is quite outgoing so when we are in a group of people socially, I will let her do the talking while I sit in the back and let her take the attention away from me. It helps me feel like I’m not going to die of anxiety. Thanks for reading this, I appreciate it. I am not officially diagnosed with social anxiety, I just relate to it.
Same, but for me my mom does the talking. She is very chatty and I am a quiet anxious person.
this describes me perfectly. I do the same thing with my dad because he is really outgoing
Kindly I suggest you stopped doing that, because it only hinders you in the long run. I did this too with my own twin sister, she even spoke for me sometimes (i asked her to tell other people what i wanted from them, etc), and now i deeply regret not having exposed myself socially and having learned that everything is okay, since i've had social anxiety for almost 20 years now. Plus if you don't adress this issues somehow, they only get worse, and can make you vulnerable to people who prey on other's weaknesses. Best of luck to you and stay strong!
Great advice, no no.
Russell Brand was discussing this on his channel today as well. He said he overcame his by not having expectations of fitting in socially and rather focusing on exchanging ideas instead. It's about being focused on feeling present in the conversation (mainly listening to others and their thoughts one on one, not focusing on groups or group conversations) and giving what you think the conversation "needs" to progress forward. Focus on meeting people on a spiritual level rather than a physical, emotionally vested level (not seeking approval or fishing for compliments). That made a lot of sense to me.
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Love Russell Brand, thanks for sharing this important message. You are appreciated
Wow this is really helpful. Thank you for sharing
I was praised for being a quite kid. I always find it so hard to express myself. Even to the friends who I have been with for 20 years
hello try trazadone 75mg every evening
Same
That’s the thing that gets me. Some people think of me as a “quiet boy”, when I’m not quiet at all, I just don’t speak when I don’t feel like it.
It's so weird. You're rewarded for your quietness in school, at home, etc since you're seen as well-behaved. And then when you get to be an adult, everything changes and you're now being punished for not speaking up, participating, sharing your opinion.
At this point, being rewarded for your quietness or "being obedient", is just society's way of saying "you're no trouble and it gives me less work to deal with you"
I’ve been hiding this for 40 years and doing a darn good job of it too!
I can pin point exactly when it started to when I was age 7 and the head master shouted at me for not reading out my part loud enough, the whole school laughed at me and I burst into tears. That’s the very moment my life got ruined and I lost all my confidence.
It's definitely a condition that people suffer from in silence. There is a ton of shame associated with it and I used to hide it away myself. Thanks for sharing!
You were 7.. being laughed at by 7 year olds..
that's really sad....I wish you the best for your future;)
@@gabriellopez6491 So?....
@FlyingMonkies325 I will homeschool my kids.
“They just dont do as well in big groups where they feel like they are being evaluated.” That’s powerful.
I feel like this amongst other things is the main reason for my SAD persisting for as long as it did.
Mentally, I don't have much of the common symptoms but physically, it seems like nothing's changing
Is the constant feeling of being watched and judged by everyone near you (even complete strangers in the passing by) an indicator of social anxiety? I’m 20 now, but I’ve felt like I was being constantly judged and looked for at least 10 years now.
I honestly have the same experience. Apart from that, however, when a stranger comes up to whether to talk to me or ask me a question my heart starts beating like crazy and I just wanna get out of the situation because I get so nervous. It really feels awful and it makes me feel bad because I see other’s and they seem completely fine but me I can’t deal with it. And college doesn’t help what with having to do ice breakers every semester, it makes it really hard but I’m dealing as best I can.
@@silentangel727 same 😔
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This happens exactly with me.
You shall overcome and you are not alone
What if someone was very cheerful and extrovert as a kid and then becomes socially anxious, depressive, sad, introverted and feeling wasted as they go though teenage...
See I was more quiet and wimpy as a child. Thankfully I never got bullied. Now as an adult, I’m more extroverted and definitely more confident.
@@diplomat2623
Nice!
Good for you pal! 👍🏻
@@RawHalibut1278 you just described my whole life.
this was basically how I am.
I used to be so extroverted and loved to speak with people, but the moment I realized people might not actually like me, or that they just talk to me to be polite, crushed me.
from then on, I was terrified to speak to strangers. still am.
As soon as I hit like 13 its just been happening to me it got worse every year now I dont even want to talk to people anymore
It just physically feels painful to be in those awkward situations....
I love this woman’s brain. Anytime a video with her pops up I watch it. Her intelligence, the way she breaks things down, explains things so easily, she’s just brilliant.
Me too! She's very smart I love how she's a really good active listener.
My anxiety is so bad when I’m out and about: now schools have started again there’s been three occasions I couldn’t make it out the door and my child had to be collected late and by somebody else. Social anxiety is an awful thing to live with. I wish anyone dealing with it the best x
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Thanks girl you too. Grocery shopping is hell on packed days and my poor heart is exhausted from racing all that time
same
You are not alone, I believe in your strength and ability to overcome. Never give up
Sorry to hear that. Sending all love to you
Is it me or do I feel like social anxiety victims seem to attract the ones who are very social and wants to continually hang out with them at social events!. I hate that..
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Yup all my exes were extroverts
Opposites attract 🤷♂️ lol
It really is a beautiful thing 🙂 always something to learn when the universe connects us
It's really weird, I noticed it too. People that I had a few conversations with keep wanting to hang out with me even though I keep declining invitations. I feel so bad having to make up excuses as to why I can't make it, but my anxiety makes it impossible for me to enjoy social gatherings.
I’m 54 and I just realized this about myself a few months ago
I have made plans for things with work friends over and over only to start trying to find a way out of it and most of the time canceling last min.
Recently in a group of people, someone called me out. They said ,”this isn’t going to be one of those things that u say u are going, then don’t show is it?”
I blurted out “I get very nervous, to the point of nausea as each event gets closer.”
Thank you for giving a name to what I have been dealing with all these years.
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I'm happy you found answers God bless you
me exactly! (im 54 too) spent most of my life drinking in social situations to get through it
Oh my god that must have been so hard for you. All love to you
No please dont tell me I will live this until I die ? Im 27 and hopeing it will get better with age !!!??
Yes... She described this perfectly... Except for me, this stayed with me my whole life... I'm 49 and getting on the internet is as social as I can be while feeling comfortable... I'm the most comfortable, alone in my house, working on my electronics... Silence is my friend, away from society... away from a world that I don't trust
Your last words inspired me to write a text and express my feelings about my anxiety and how this world can make you feel like a social misfit.. so thank you.
@@lisafritz7376 I'm glad my words inspired you in a positive way Lisa. Trust in God, we may go through tough times in life, but don't be discouraged. The one key thing I know is that, the world will always fail us, but God sees us through all the trials and struggles. Put your faith in Christ, you can get through anything.
It's books for me that make me feel normal but my mom threatens to burn them
This is me.
Social Anxiety Disorder has done incalculable damage to my life. This disorder does not get enough mainstream attention. We focus more on narcissism and whatnot.
Whenever I start to present my work, my entire body shakes at the thought of being judged by my classmates
My social anxiety made my life similar to a nightmare , I'm trapped in my own dark thoughts and no one can get me out of this
I hope you'll get out of this soon!
🙏💗
no one except your self-love
Just know that you are not alone in this. Please talk with a therapist who will help you to reduce this kind of anxiety to live a more peaceful life. It will pay off.
Going through a bout this evening. It's weird, I can go hang out with the (two) friends of mine that I've known since middle school without much issue.
As soon as a friend of a friend is involved I fall apart completely. Even when I know them fairly well, the thought of going to their place, outside of my sphere of comfort, is more than I can bear.
Weird, and frustrating, because I do want to go spend time with these people but I simply can't.
Then, of course, I feel that I'm pushing them away and I assume they feel like I don't want to be around them. And the negative thought spiral continues.
There must be a fine line between social anxiety and a avoidant personality. I grow up in a shitty narcissistic environment which totally murdered my self-confidence, especially during my formative years. I'm no doctor or have been diagnosed, but I check all the boxes for having environmental caused avoidant personality issues.
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@@electricfishfan Definitely hit the nail in that AVPD affects all your relationships while SAD more so depends on situations (i.e. Large groups, public speaking, parties). Granted both disorders are characterized by having low self esteem and avoidance of people that many psychologists see AVPD as a generalized form of social anxiety. With AVPD there is a need to be liked where you are suspicious that every person in your life secretly does not like to be with you and doesn't see you as worth their time. A person with AVPD is obsessed with signs of rejection, disapproval and criticism from every person they meet. It goes beyond extreme shyness and more so towards every relationship you make becomes a battlefield where the slightest comment or action is perceived as rejection. A truly debilitating disorder :(
My social anxiety actually manifested in a narcissistic environment.
Same and my teachers were narcissitic too
@@MrWinMrWin-qr2bn Thanks, I now figure I have avoidant personality and might as well k*ll myself
My social anxiety is by far the worst with one on one conversations.. where all the attention is on me and I have to make lots of eye contact. I feel more comfortable in groups generally.
The worst thing about my social anxiety is that I don't know how to be myself in a social setting, I tend to come off slightly extrovert to hide my anxiety and I'd do something stupid/ extra which makes my anxiety worse and I would keep thinking of the event and later on, I stop going to similar event. It's hard, I envy those people who walk alone and couldn't care less that she's walking/shopping alone. I hate that I look stupid because people could see through me that I have very low confidence and they tend to walk all over me. I'm depressed and everyday is a struggle.
Feel the exact same way, naturally trying to beat this is so hard that I need drugs at this point, I need to be medicated.
@@therealist2000 it's okay. Everything is going to be fine. Atleast you and I are here because we know what we are struggling with and that social anxiety disorder is an actually thing. We are one step ahead and we'll eventually learn how to free away from this. I'm 24 , I just came to know I have social anxiety just recently. And now, I'm searching on ways to overcome it which is a good thing, right?
me 100%. glad i found this comment !! Then i feel horrible after i overtalked and totally lost those people forever
*"the reason why they might turn away from the job that they love is because of fear"* A sad reality for socially anxious people. Social anxiety literally hinders my potential to improve myself and pursue my dreams. I can't imagine how far I might have gone now when this fear that is now embedded into my system didn't exist in the first place
my my my, I can relate so deep. I know I could be so successful in life. My anxiety is so bad that it has a resulted in a struggling life for me. I’ve turned down so many high paying jobs due to the overwhelming force of anxiety. It is a sad reality, crazy thing is... I was very popular in school, very outgoing, star football player - anxiety wasn’t even a thought in my mind. At about the age of 21-22 my whole world changed. Don’t know what happened, I just changed ... and not for the better. Think about what most people consider a nightmare - my nightmare is walking into a room of people, my nightmare is going to a job interview, my nightmare is going to FAMILY GATHERINGS. I haven’t celebrated a single holiday in 5 years - I constantly refuse invites to EVERYTHING. Why am I this way? I’m told I’m good-looking, I get compliments. Why can’t I just shake this? God only knows. Maybe I was born to fail.
@@dayzreloadedpve Its like you read my mind. I have also turned down many high paying jobs due to anxiety which has negatively affected my life in so many way. It is sad and I'm constantly praying to God for an intervention or something close but i don't know if it is too late... I hope things are better for you now
I literally have had social anxiety and been an introvert all my life. And just two days ago, I got mugged/robbed.😢😩 This just increased my anxiety.
filwe, do you know that Jesus is coming back soon? Are you ready? Today is the day of salvation, choose LIFE (Jesus) before it's too late. It won't be long now until the great tribulation of 7 years starts (the last 7 years of the world as it is now, and Jesus will save His followers before the great tribulation starts ), all the signs of the times are pointing towards this, and Jesus is your only hope for salvation, so I'm begging you to ask God to open your eyes and to consider these words from God's Word carefully:
"Jesus said , “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." (John 14:6)
"...if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved. For the Scripture says, “Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.” For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all, bestowing his riches on all who call on him. For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” (Romans 10:9-13)
"But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8)
"Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, He was buried, He was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures" (1 Corinthians 15)
For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. (Ephesians 2:8-9)
Jesus Christ said : “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.
Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. (Matthew 11:28)
Please watch this: ua-cam.com/video/RPvghpK3oxk/v-deo.html super interesting, especially for these times!!
i felt this even behind a screen
@@NoyzRose492 Thank you for giving me the word.🌻
@@Shhehwhsi24 it's the world we live in. Very unkind.
Many people who are strong didn’t have it easy. You will get through this and it will feel that much sweeter because you have also been exposed to pain. Many Blessings to you
I actually wouldn't mind a little sticker for talking to a human at a party. Even going to a party is a huge achievement! That little show of validation might be so rewarding
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Can’t even get a job, some days I skip school and my counselor told me you are lazy that’s why you are skipping class.
Omg i feel you, my parents telling me to get a job, but i just can't it's so hard.
In school too i have no friends, I'm the only awkward guy in class, i skip school a lot, the teacher think that I'm rude, but i can't control my life, my social anxiety and depression controls my life.
I just want to be normal, I turned 18 last month, just thinking about how the last 5 years was i cry.
Im just 14 but i know Im gonna get this problem too when i grow up, cause Im ass at talking to people and having presentations. And my add is to no help either
Seriously? Counselor
i quit from a job because of this, actually ruin my life, idk what to do anymore
I remember when my face would be flushed red when ever I had to talk and id go in the bathroom cause i didnt want to go to lunch to avoid social interactions
I believe that I have pretty bad social anxiety (I took a lot of online tests, watched videos and read articles on it) and it just progressively gets worse as I get older. My parents won’t allow me to get a diagnosis or professional help with it. They just dismiss it by saying, “I get nervous too!” Or “why do you want to have anxiety?” And it literally makes me so mad because they downplay everything that I tell them. I had my first anxiety attack (and it was at school), and I couldn’t even go to anyone about it, cuz they won’t believe me. I was literally shaking, and I had to keep saying that I was fine/okay but I wasn’t at all. My parents also do things that trigger my social anxiety by forcing me into social situations to the point where I’m almost crying and down play it by saying that I’m being dramatic or that I hate being around people, when in actuality I want to but I just can’t. Now whenever I think about my social anxiety I literally cry, because I know that I can’t get help with it as long as I’m under my parents care (another 3 years). If you actually read all of that, thank you, I really had to get that off of my chest🙂
You literally described me friend...😢
I am really bad at facing people..and I always fear of being judged...
My friend, no one cares about you or how you look. Not in the mean way, but strangers don’t give a shit about you. You don’t give a shit about them so why would they of you? You have nothing to worry about!! I hope you figure it out. The more you talk to others, the more fun life gets!! 🥳🥳
Dont take medication from doctors take natural herbs that cure social anxiety nature cures everything
Is there anyone you can talk about this at school?
That’s how I am, except I’m scared to talk to my mom about it, that it will ruin our relationship. :(
One thing right with me is I am always trying to improve even if it doesn't work out. My partner has the ability to not let things get to him easily, he is always trying to enjoy life and be happy. He is such a ray of sun for me on dark days.
Social anxiety has gotten in my way of finding a better job. I’m 28 and have been working at the same minimum wage job since I was 16. I need to find a better job to be able to pay my rent but I just get so scared to go to job interviews or workwith new people. I’ve struggled with social anxiety since I was 4 years old. I didn’t talk in school until I changed schools in 3rd grade when I made my first friend and finally started to talk to someone. I struggled all throughout school with making friends and my grades were really bad because I wouldn’t turn in projects just so I wouldn’t have to participate in presentations.
🥲girl I’m the same ! 27 & I need a job but I’m so anxious just to apply! The fact that we’re here searching for help gives me hope that we will get through it! It may take way longer than we hope but we’ll get there ❤️❤️
may things get better for you! I'm having trouble to switch job because of the same fear too.
@44JesusIsLord44 thank you so much for this
my anxiety was very bad... but I conquered it by pushing myself to socialize with people. I still have 10% of it left. I was always told that I wasn't good at stuff which made me feel im not good enough for certain things like jobs.. which is totally in my head
Beautiful
@@mohinib2001 mine too, I think my anxiety is worse when I'm depressed. Do you feel you might be depressed aswell?
@@mohinib2001 i have that issue where your aware of the expectations of others socially so to not stand out or be labeled weird and attacked..we do alot of masking. This makes us feel like we are not being genuine and to me thats the number one thing i hate not being. My genuine self sees no need for talking without purpose most people like small talk my genuine response is to say whats necessary and move on.
But idk if im naturally this way or i was made to be this way by the way i grew up and now it just feels normal because its familiar.
@@mohinib2001 like for example when im at work my mind is on work so i ignore social cues and tend to not say hi to people when i walk by. Its not on purpose its just my mind is on something else but people take it personally.
What age did you start trying to lose it I’m 18
I’m caring and wise and funny, I love that my friends are so great and supportive
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“ 0:23 fear of separation” yep...my first sign that literally nobody even noticed..
I feel for all of you, I'm so sorry that you all are going through this, I'm 53 years old I've had social anxiety since I was 8 years old.
Does it get better?
@@lisafritz7376 no.
i was crying..so hard...watching this video...make me shock how accurate...this video touch my heart....to know someone point it out the struggles and how partner play role in helping 😭😭😭
Thank you for this video! I've always suffered socially and I'm now realizing what I experience is all symptoms of social anxiety. Even though I can hardly go out without at some point feeling suffocated, meeting people is horrifying, and I'll always be a little jealous of people who can socialize more than me, I actually think my social anxiety is a kind of beautiful thing because only the most understanding and lovely people have access to me, and I'm so comfortable in my own company. I just think they're some beautiful things that not a whole lot of people these day have ♥️
I hope everyone is these comments that's suffering with social anxiety can accept themselves at some point because really something mind-blowing for me is just accepting that social situations are harder for me than they are for others and it doesn't make anything inherently wrong with me
I don’t wanna get up, because everyone will stare at me. I don’t wanna talk because I’m scared what you might think. I don’t wanna make friends because I never know what to say. I cry not because I’m sad, but because I’m not in my comfort place. I don’t look at you because I’ll make it awkward.
And saying “It’s because of that damn phone” doesn’t change the fact that I don’t want to exist. - The Quiet Kid
I can help you with my therapy if you don't mind
I hate it here. I was always ‘the quiet kid’ in class. I got so used of the phrases “u can talk? 😮” and “oOoOOoooOo she can talk?!😦😦” like fr it’s annoying and frustrating
"I don't wanna get up, because everyone will stare at me." Damn! That hit like a truck!
I have social anxiety and it sucks so bad. I feel like people always stare at me or judge me. People scare me. Talking to people, being in front of the class makes me so anxious. Even with my family, Im shy and easily embarrassed. I hide my face from people, especially when we have visitors at home. My family would even get mad at me or say not nice things about me being so shy. It sucks and I just want to be confident and be braver. I used to get panic attacks back when I was in school and I never got any help
Hey mate, try training. Try get yourself out walking, running, cycling and swimming. Any physical exercise will help. I used to hate exercising but now it definitely helps. Set yourself little tasks if you can. For instance today I’ll go in a shop on my own and look around. Tomorrow I may buy something. The next day I may ask the person how much something is. When people have phobias they hit their phobias head on in stages. Remember panic attacks usually go on their own and don’t pose a threat to you. Try meditating. Never sit around thinking about negative stuff so keep your mind occupied. You don’t know what’s around the corner in life - so try to look forwards to the possibilities. 👍
@@sprre3899 thank you for the advice, it's very kind of you! I actually work out, but I stopped for awhile since I was feeling empty and just really down. Im trying to get back on track and maybe do sports!
@@LyleLane You will get better with time. Do you know what caused this? Does anyone in your family have it?
@@sprre3899 im actually the only one like this in my fam. They actually get mad or annoyed whenever I get panic attacks or anxious. I guess the reason is when I was a kid, them trying to discipline me made a negative impact
@@LyleLane Yeh usually social anxiety can be traced back to things that have happened in childhood. Quite often being made to stand up in school and read or act for example can cause so much stress it impacts our development. I think that coupled with someone who may be naturally sensitive, or like someone who’s a thinker so to speak, can be tough. Don’t worry keep challenging yourself, never hide away from your fears, but don’t bite off more than you can chew. As you get older the social anxiety should subside also. Keep your chin up mate and always smile!
She has saved my life and helped me heal in so many ways especially with narcissism she’s amazing
One thing that is right about me is that i am a very good human being. Good listener and helpful.
Social anxiety is often needing to find that golden social fit, current people maybe not a very socially invigorating environment you truly resonate with.
I'm 35, and for as long as I remember I have always been called out for being "anti-social" by my friends and others I would meet. I'm sure in most cases, they meant no harm and may even have been joking. But this had a huge impact, as it made me that much more self conscious in many ways.
Oh, and let's not forget all the times I was literally called out in public, like at a party 😔...right in front of others I do not even know.
I have anxiety since a very young age, but I only understand it in high school, i used to shake,my heart would beat so fast, i didn't like to be around other people, i didn't had friends, i would to talk to myself cause I didn't had anyone to talk to...things got way better when I went to college but I still feel it some times
I’m smart and my mom is the most loving person I have ever met.
one thing right about myself is that I have an amazing sense of humor that brings so much great laughter into my life.
From the moment i step out my front door my social anxiety rises, such a depressing life
One thing thats right about me is that i never give up even when im at my lowest. One thing thats right about my kids is that they are really smart for their age.
What an awesome strength! I would just like to say perseverance is a beautiful quality; no matter how difficult or big the mountain might be infront of you, you will get to the other side, It may not happen overnight but the journey and things you learn along the way will become a new set of tools that you have knowledge of and the wisdom to use. Continue to grow my friend and may God bless you and your children.
❤️
I just want to tell fellow social anxiety suffers that when you have a hard, awkward moment with people don't feel shame about it or look down upon urself about it bc when ever you find urself in those situations that are unfamilar and make u uncomfortable ur actual facing ur fears and that is a great victory. If you might of had some little situation like saying something awkward to ur crush don't regret it, say to urself- hey, even though i think this situation should be easy its actually hard for me but the corageous thing is that I made it through and am learning everytime, so in my own way its a victory. don't compare urself to others, only compare urself to who you were yesterday. This thinking helps me at least lol
I feel that i'm being judged no matter where i go.
I feel that i always need to worry about what other people are thinking of me.
I feel that everytime someone walks by me, i have to look perfect.
I feel my heart beating so fast whenever i'm called on by a teacher infront of my class.
I feel scared about humiliating myself and act in ways that just isn't me.
I feel the need to turn around when i see someone else headed for the same place i am.
I don’t know what my life would be without MedCircle therapeutic discussions! 💜🙏🏼
I used to have massive social anxiety. Esp. as a teenager and then in my early adult years. So bad and paralyzing....
But I worked on my healing - from traumas, narcissistic abuse, ACEs, CPTSD -- and as I recovered more and more, I found more strength and authenticity in myself. A year or so ago I was loading up on speakers like Brene Brown, who are bold, authentic and outspoken , desperately wanting to be a little bit like them.
What helped me the most with my healing, authenticity and overcoming social anxiety is beginning to share my story, my struggles and feelings and helping out others. I now see how much I've grown and come into myself and love it! Still more to go, but it's a beautiful journey.
You got this! Maybe try helping someone out who's in a darker place than you - you have more strength and gifts than you even know.😘
i always had the thought that i probably had social anxiety for many years now, but now im in a period in my life where its gotten alot worse again, and so i decided to reseach it more, and i cannot belive how much i can relate to EVERYTHING said in this video. I also have a few ticks that i didnt know was linked to my anxiety, i just thought they were weird habbits.
Just presented in class and had to stop and take a step back, breathe and gather my thoughts because my mind was racing, body shaking and I can feel myself allowing anxiety to take over my damn presentation and my life. So I went back to it, face it and kick that anxiety ass while presenting. Then cried aferwards
💛
Something right about me is my ability to socialise and seem confident when talking to people when I actually feel very nervous
I just love her personality and how she managed to explain what we are experiencing
You are life saver dr Ramani
Thank you for all your videos! They are very helpful.
ua-cam.com/video/xcziYDTs1MM/v-deo.html
I need a friend like her.. none of my friends understand, no matter how many times I tell them. They just make me feel bad for not going to social events with them
I'm sure they care, they just don't know how else to help you. That's pretty common.
😭
Just go out with them once, dude. You’re missing out and making things worse for yourself! It’ll be fun, no one cares!
I have social anxiety and I literally put on an act of being outgoing. I hate every single second of being there and hate every conversation but you would never ever suspect it. I put on my “social” face which is exhausting. I have to do it for work as well because I used to work in customer service and now run my own service based business. It is so hard. My husband died and now I don’t even have that partner to support me but I have two kids that want to go out and do stuff. It sucks.
Something right about me - I am open-minded and welcoming of people, I try to include them. I am a loyal friend too.
Something right about her - she is kind and hasn’t abandoned her old friends.
Reminding people of their strengths is the best way you can help someone with social anxiety
Both my partner and I are socially anxious and we met on the internet. Same with my mother and stepfather. It works!
That sounds great actually!! Didn’t thought it’s possible to build a strong relationship on the internet. I do have a few online friends but wouldn’t know how far our friendship would go. Hopefully to the point where I would meet them, like your experience
My problem is: whenever family asks "How did it go?" and the anxiety emerges so I say "I don't think it went well. I asked a question that didn't make sense to anybody and it looked weird.", my family has called me "conceited", "selfish" ,"self-centered", and "pessimistic" for feeling like I screwed up and everyone noticed. All of the negative feedback from family just makes me feel worse and the downward spiral continues.
Critical family and parents is often what leads to the condition or worsens it. So often parents know exactly how to push the poor self esteem button because they did their best to make us feel small and insignificant. This is especially true is they accuse you of being one way but your whole way of being is the opposite. I am on the spectrum and very honest but if my mum had misplaced something she would accuse me of taking it or using stuff that was hers, such as face cream. She even licked toothpaste off my face when I was 13 (I was making a home made face mask and I told her I had not taken her face cream...and she accused me of lying. To the point that she tasted the compound on my skin to prove I was lying.) Of course she knew immediately she was wrong and finally apologized but by that point I was in tears and felt so demeaned.
Sometimes i just wonder what's the point of life when i can never live to my ''potential'', by this i mean wasting so many opportunities of new hobbies and friendships, and so on.
Feels like i don't live for myself, i live for/by a certain ''code'' that's predominant in my head.
Years of my valuable teenage years just fly past, looking how others are having fun and enjoying life, doing things that i could only dream of, while i'm just deep in my misery and feeling anxious even when i'm alone in my room and playing videogames all day long.
Social anxiety has partly ruined my life. It has always been an essential part of me, since i can remember, and therefore i don't see myself ever getting rid of it.
Good luck for all of you socially anxious people in your struggle.
I love this woman/doctor. I could listen to her talk forever...I always feel better after watching her videos on the topics which apply to me. Oh! And great host!
Does anyone else feel like they have to go out because you don’t want anyone to talk down on you. Being picked on for having social anxiety made it even more difficult for me to socialize. Now I feel judged everywhere, alone and around people.
🙋🏽♀️🤦🏾♀️ I keep trying to overcome my social anxiety. I’ve been like this since I was a kid. I’m 40 now and I feel more withdrawn from people. it’s crippling to what I would like to accomplish in life...
I went through a huge change in the transition from childhood to teens. Changed school, moved away, even the people in my family I lived with changed.
After that I went completely inwards and completely lost my footing of everything. Now, more than 10 years later, even if I'm light years better than before, I still struggle a lot with my social life and have only recently realized social anxiety is a thing and that I definitely have it.
Even when it comes to friends I know for years, I sweat, my stomach flutters and my heartbeat elevates when I think of going out with them. But talking in public I've got no major problems with, IF I know what I'm gonna say and have time to prepare for it.
I'd easily take presenting a project in front of my whole company than going on a barbecue party with the same people.
How is this so similar to my life?! Moved and had a huge transition right at the start of my teen years. Became much more nervous, socially anxious, etc. Professional settings like performances and presentations are better because I know exactly what to do/say and have an exact structure.
Yes, being a minority & how people interact with them can affect their mental health and how they see themselves. Feeling different, feeling like “the other”, drawing that unwanted attention...
ua-cam.com/video/xcziYDTs1MM/v-deo.html
Growing up as natural citizen of the United States, elementary school interactions revealed early how our culture othernizes minorities. Indian, Asian, Muslim, and Hispanic students were absolutely marginalized in group situations strickly for race alone.
Now, whenever I make contact with a foreign national i.e. the elderly Mexican woman and young Sri Lankan man at my work, I acknowledge them and let them know that they will he accepted and treated equally like everyone else should be.
Same. I am black and I never see people talk about this.
There are different layers to overcoming it too. I have suffered from social anxiety my entire life, but have made great strides in overcoming public speaking, especially with preparation. Ad hoc group situations are still a fear that I actively avoid and it is really holding me back.
R Law, do you know that Jesus is coming back soon? Are you ready? Today is the day of salvation, choose LIFE (Jesus) before it's too late. It won't be long now until the great tribulation of 7 years starts (the last 7 years of the world as it is now, and Jesus will save His followers before the great tribulation starts ), all the signs of the times are pointing towards this, and Jesus is your only hope for salvation, so I'm begging you to ask God to open your eyes and to consider these words from God's Word carefully:
"Jesus said , “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." (John 14:6)
"...if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved. For the Scripture says, “Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.” For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all, bestowing his riches on all who call on him. For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” (Romans 10:9-13)
"But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8)
"Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, He was buried, He was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures" (1 Corinthians 15)
For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. (Ephesians 2:8-9)
Jesus Christ said : “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.
Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. (Matthew 11:28)
Please watch this: ua-cam.com/video/RPvghpK3oxk/v-deo.html super interesting, especially for these times!!
You will overcome and continue to make great strides. Peace and love ❤️✌️
I've been hiding this my whole life and never spoke out once. Now everyone in my life thinks I'm wierd, at least I think they do. I love my friends and family to bits but just avoid social gatherings. Depressing isnt the word.
The more time I spend with my 15 year old daughter, the more confident she is when she goes to school. Validating her feelings and acknowledging her talents has made a difference as well:)
It wasn’t easy to get close when she was closing herself off and that’s when I realized that just sitting quietly by her warmed her up. Patients and love 💖
god i'd love to have a chat with dr ramani :( the way she puts it... i feel like she'd be able to cure everything that's not right in my life
i’m great because i have a grateful heart and am constantly open to criticism, my mother have a really pure heart and always looks out for others, my father knows how to reaffirm and encourages others and show that he cares.
Melody, do you know that Jesus is coming back soon? Are you ready? Today is the day of salvation, choose LIFE (Jesus) before it's too late. It won't be long now until the great tribulation of 7 years starts (the last 7 years of the world as it is now, and Jesus will save His followers before the great tribulation starts ), all the signs of the times are pointing towards this, and Jesus is your only hope for salvation, so I'm begging you to ask God to open your eyes and to consider these words from God's Word carefully:
"Jesus said , “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." (John 14:6)
"...if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved. For the Scripture says, “Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.” For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all, bestowing his riches on all who call on him. For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” (Romans 10:9-13)
"But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8)
"Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, He was buried, He was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures" (1 Corinthians 15)
For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. (Ephesians 2:8-9)
Jesus Christ said : “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.
Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. (Matthew 11:28)
Please watch this: ua-cam.com/video/RPvghpK3oxk/v-deo.html super interesting, especially for these times!!
Beautiful
I Spread Love by Example
My close friends understand my Social anxiety Disorder and I'm really thankful for them and their support.
Frank🙏
Drew 🙏
Kris 🙏
I can watch your interviews all day . Thanks med circle . Always enlightening
Thank you Kyle for asking the right questions! I love that fact you all break it down and can help us differentiate between a person’s personality vs when something is becoming a hindrance to them being their authentic selves.
These talks have helped me immensely with my interpersonal relationships and my relationship with myself.
You all have such a relaxing format, it calms me down to listen. Always informative. Helps highly sensitive people
My panic attacks are diffrent everytime, although usually they are triggered by something, i have had attacks while lying in bed trying to fall asleep. scariest thing ever! so glad i have not had one in public.. Things are much better now!!! I have not had an attack in over 5 months now…* Here’s how => t.co/SShXwevAHG
Love the video, i've used youtube as a main source of battling with social anxiety and facing my fears.
I have situational social anxiety I’m confident in talking and meeting people on my terms. My anxiety starts when I have no control over meetings, people and settings. It’s like because I never planned or set out too do that it sends me into over drive. I can’t stop thinking about it , can’t sleep and it always goes over.
I have been living with a mix of Generalizer Anxiety Disorder and Depression all my life. Every second goes by with these thoughts in mind. Aimless and with no purpose.
when i was little - around 7, my family always visit cousins and go to grandparents' home during holidays where everyone in my huge family would gather. i was fine when there wasn't many people gathered yet at their home. so i kept myself comfortable with my family at first. but the moment i heard a car approaching with the voice of other kids, i start to feel anxious. the moment they go upstairs where i mostly spend my alone time, just playing and talking to each other, i sat on a wooden coffee table while they all sit on the floor. quietly, never spoke a single word throughout the holiday, sitting there hugging my legs, covering my face and avoid any social interaction. until my family call me to eat and do stuff and that's about it. i truly hate my old self for sitting on higher ground than them while actually made people look at me weird. one of my cousins also took a picture of everyone in the damn room and there i was so awkward and pity looking. they never cared, they always ask why i'm so damn quiet and i never replied. "just talk" can't you see i couldn't. now, i'm in college and shits are tougher but i'm getting better. wish to meet a therapist one day, very insecure of my voice
Yea you did seem pretty weird as a kid, but who cares lol. Life goes on and no one truly cares! Easier said than done, but learn to not give a shit! You control your life! 🥳
Wow. I needed this. I have been introverted all of my life. It’s hard and sad.
You are not alone. Much Love 💕
I am pretty sure that I've devolved into a condition of social anxiety disorder over the last several years.
I'm currently in an acute state of stress and anxiety. Last weekend was terrible for me, as I got panicky during a poker night with some guys I didn't know. I haven't been able to unwind and now I'm once again in a state of deep distress. I take Ativans at night in order to fall asleep, otherwise I can't.
Following the advice of the interviewee, I do have strengths that I can name. I'm attentive to people's emotions, I am caring, I'm good at my job, and I used to be pretty sociable. I hope I can recover some of the person I used to be.
oh my god. I burst into tears when you directed the question to us to say one right thing about ourselves, because nobody ever asks that and i panicked because I felt like i didnt have an answer. now that i calmed down, i would say that despite my multiple "wrong" with me stuff. the fact that im on this page, that im aware of what they are is something I got right. I was able to recognize when i wasnt okay and raised my hand and said i need help. and im obviously still seeking it. so theres that. thank you both. i love hearing your conversations. going to watch more videos now.