Trans AND Lesbian? What's that like?
Вставка
- Опубліковано 5 лют 2025
- Wouldn't you like to know, huh? Well, luckily we're here to tell you - or at least tell you how we feel it has impacted our lives. Making the decision to live your authentic life can be freeing but at the same time cause a lot of worrying about your relationships, your sexuality and your sense of self.
Here's an idea: Instead of worrying, share your story and perspective in the comments! And if that's not enough for you, join us across this world wide internet of ours:
____________________________________________________
Instagram:
Anya: bit.ly/3FjcXjy
Jackie: bit.ly/3Qo2HJP
Jackie's tattoos: tinyurl.com/yk...
Blusky:
Anya: bsky.app/profi...
Jackie: bsky.app/profi...
TikTok: bit.ly/3C06j03
Ko-fi: ko-fi.com/wive...
Anya's Author Website: bit.ly/3w4Eikh
Art by the talented Lukaël at / lukael
Music credits:
"Brandenburg Concerto No4-1 BWV1049 - Classical Whimsical" by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 licence. creativecommon...
Source: incompetech.com...
Artist: incompetech.com/
Hank Green: "Human Sexuality is Complicated..." ( • Human Sexuality is Com... )
Comic recommendation: "Us" by Sara Soler (ISBN 978-1-50673-418-7)
____________________________________________________
We've been getting a lot of silly comments on this video about "autogynophilia", which is debunked fringe theory from the 80s that has gained some traction. We refer to this video by Natalie Wynn: • Autogynephilia | Contr...
I'm exactly in Jackie's situation: I'm a trans lesbian in couple with a cis woman who I was with before transition, and we are still happy together! The idea that trans women can't be lesbians is so ridiculous because 1/3 of us are lesbians! So way more likely than cis women in fact. I have a trans woman friend who was denied access to HRT because she was not attracted to men! Than was 20 years ago though. But thank you for talking about this, so that more people understand that yes we can be lesbians!
This is so wonderful to hear, thank you for sharing! 🥰❤️
That’s wild that they even asked about preferences. I’m sorry your friend had to go through that.
woah that's harsh... being like "nah, we don't support gay people". There wasn't really any rules against it with my transition began, but being attracted to men was definitely preferred. I was back then in a relationship with a transmasc, so I did "accidentally" confirm to the expectations back then. Even though they did refer to my partner as "woman who wants to become a man", which is pretty phobic way to describe a transmasc
That trans woman friend of yours was a heterosexual man pretending to be a woman. Not a lesbian
I remember at 12 years old thinking "I wish I could be a girl and would be so much happier as one, but to be a girl I have to like boys and I don't like them and don't want to, so I guess I have to stay like this"... and I buried it all deep and it took me 15 more years to realize who I was after that
Thank you for talking about this, while we now live in more understanding times, the more voices the better :)
Aww yeah I think that's the experience for a lot of trans people ;A; luckily you found out eventually ❤️
And thank you so much for your kind words!
same, except that it took me over 20 years to realize... effing stereotypes
Saaaame. Then in my mid 20's I heard a trans woman say she was a lesbian, and all I could think was "wait... you can do that?!" Like I'd never even considered it as a possibility but it suddenly made so much sense. It did still take me another 2-3 years after that to figure out that I also was a lesbian, but I got there!
Same but it took me 50 years.
Same except I'm now in my 50s with two grown sons and no idea how to chase my dream or if it is even possible anymore. Heck I wouldn't even know where to start as I don't know anyone. These videos make me happy seeing others at least get to live life so fully!
I think part of the problem is that a lot of people don't understand that trans people transition for ourselves, and not for others. Like, I didn't transition to be with women, I did it to make my life worth living.
Edit: Also, trans lesbian here. Always known I was attracted to women, but still had a weird phase at the beginning of my transition where I thought I was straight, then bi, and finally just gay^^ Compulsory heterosexuality is strong
Exactlyyyyyy 🙌❤️
I had a really similar experience! Before realizing I was trans I thought I was bi, turns out no I’m just gay. There was definitely a sort of, “while I like men alright, so I guess it’s fine for me to be a woman?”
I entered a t4t lesbian relationship since last time you guys posted
life is crazy
Hahaha daaamn!! Hope it's going strong! ❤️
I’m a Trans Lesbian, but it took me a long time to figure things out and deconstruct my internalized transphobia and homophobia which were preventing me from accepting and embracing myself. But now I’ve never felt more at peace with myself!
It can definitely be so hard to untangle those feelings! So happy to hear that though ❤️ thank you for sharing!
@@WivesVsWorldThank you for making this adorable video!
I fully expect many years from now to see you both still posting videos as happy grannies. :) You both are sooo lovely together. The way you look at each other is so heartwarming.
Hahaha hopefully! We definitely want to keep posting as long as we're able to!
My spouse came out as non -binary he/him two years before I came out as a trans woman and started transitioning. We've got 3 kids and have been married for 16 years. Our relationship is better now than it ever was because of how much our communication has improved so much since transitioning, even though it was difficult to sort through at times. Love y'all, thanks for sharing your experience!
Awww that's so wonderful!! Thank you for sharing your story ❤️
Tans-lesbian with bi-wife here too!
I had the same issue, where my attraction to women delayed my transition, first because when I was younger there was no genral understanding that one could be gay and trans, and later because I was thinking the same: "I already like women, so why would I transition, it would just be extra work..."
...and I was also very scared that my wife would not want to stay with me anymore after coming out, even though I already knew she was bisexual, it was still very scary!
Lots of love!
That makes so much sense! It definitely doesn't make it easier ^^; thank you for sharing 🥰❤️
Im in a trans/cis lesbian relationship myself. My partner and I are in our late 30's and have been together for more then half our lives at this point (nearly 20 years married and 2 kids). I came out to my partner this summer since i was literally losing my mind trying to deny it in myself. I was so scared I was going to lose everything we had built together but instead she accepted me (They tell me they knew i was trans before i did XD ) and honestly our marriage has improved so much since I started my transition. I feel more engaged with my partner in all facets of our life.
I have lost all my "friends" and most of my family at this point but I am so much happier. Even my partner now feels more liberated to express some non-conforming stereotypes of their gender too ( i love this). We love each other, at a 'spiritual' level to put it in laymen terms and I dont think our external selves would really change that.
That's so wonderful and super relatable to us! ❤️ wish you all the best and thank you so much for sharing 🥰
These two are huge inspiration for what I want in life
Aww that's so sweet 🥺 may you have everything you want!! 🙏
When Jackie mentionned that she postponed her transition due to the fear of losing Anya. I had a similar experience with my ex. I first brought the transition with her back in 2020, but when she told me that she wouldn't love me I was scared and put all my feelings and identity back in the closet because I wasn't ready to lose her. It wasn't until 2024 that I was more okay If we were not together anymore that I built my courage again and told her a second time. It's important to put ourselves first even we are with someone wonderful. I still think that she was an amazing person, but because I like her this much. I think It's the best form of love for someone to let go and let her have her best life and find someone that can fill her needs best.
I was also asked during the holidays the question of "If you're transitionning. Why are you still interested in women?" and to that I replied "I don't know what the future hold, but I know It's important for me to be myself and love will come eventually." I have never been happier and so free since now and of course I would like to find a lady partner, but right now the person that needs the most love is myself ❤️
You've put it so wonderfully, thank you! Transitioning is something we do for ourselves, and like countless of comments on this video shows, it won't go away just because you try to lock it up and prioritise another person.
Thank you so much for sharing ❤️
@WivesVsWorld It's a pleasure! I am glad that I can share this and If this can be of any help to someone. It makes me happy.
Thank you to you both for being amazing people! ❤️
I had this conversation yesterday with my former hairdresser. Trying to explain being a trans lesbian and express androgynous/non-binary. She couldn't make it work in her mind.
Hahah it can be quite fun to watch them try to understand but very annoying that it can be so hard for people!
Omg saaaaaaame 🤣
i am a transmasc who used to identify as gay (mlm) and was in a mlm trans-cis couple until my gf came out as trans a bit over a year ago, which even before she came out deep down i kinda knew cuz she made me realize i did i fact like women, so we kinda came out to each other at the same time. sexuality labels are made up, ofc if you find a label that resonates with you, use it, but you dont have to conform to any label to be valid. just do what feels right and what you geniunely want.
Awwwwww that's so sweet 😭 what a wonderful story ❤️ and exactly - lables can a big help and comfort, but they should never be restricting!
It’s been so wonderful watching your videos the past several years as a sapphic trans woman myself
Awww that's so wonderful to hear!! 🥺 thank you so much for staying with us for so long!
so me and my wife have been together coming up on 8 years now, started together at 19 and for a while i had a big mustache and thick beard till one night when i was about 23 i messaged her asking if she would be bothered if i started wearing skirts. i knew she wasnt exactly straight but i was still really really worried, but luckily she had absolutely no problems with it. she in the early days of me figuring out i was trans took me to so many shops and picked out items 'for herself' so i wouldnt be self conscious taking a closer look.
i could gush for hours but it is late so ill leave you with this. she is the reason i stopped drinking, she is why i dont smoke, she is why i am the person i am and she is the reason i am so sunburned i can barely move. we went to the beach. wouldnt change a thing.
This is SO SWEET 🥺 she sounds amazing. Thank you so much for sharing, it's so wonderful to know that such beautiful love and acceptance is out there ❤️
I was thinking just five hours ago when driving home from my first visit to the HRT doc that I was hoping to see a new video soon, This is the best day ❤
I can definitely attest to it being slower to understand your own identity if your sexuality is more complicated as I only figured out at the age of 30 and am starting HRT now at the overripe age of 32
😅
Awwww so happy we can provide!! And good luck with HRT!! ❤️
Congratulations! I'm delighted for you! There's no wrong time to transition. I started HRT 18 months ago at 45.
@@sarah_757 Hah, so I hear but the voices inside, they are most insidious lol
I wish I could've shown this to my past self years ago! I was heavily questioning my identity while in a long term relationship with a strongly cishet woman. When I started to discuss those feelings with her, she made it explicitly clear that if I wanted to explore that part of my identity it meant the end of our relationship. Crushed, I tried to lock my feelings away, but denying that core part of my self killed any chance of emotional intimacy with her. Ultimately I had to end the relationship. We both spent too many years unhappy.
Long story short, save yourself the heartache listen to your heart! It sounds trite, but it's true. : )
That's such a great way to explain it: when we lock up those parts of ourselves, it's really hard to be emotionally available or intimate with another person. Well done on following your heart! Much love ❤️
Been single all my life, and I always ran away from potential relationships. I'd fawn over all the pretty ladies, but I somehow couldn't handle the thought of being in a relationship with them. I'd always look for an excuse to why it won't work out and force it on them if they showed any signs of returning my feelings. After 10 years since I last dated, it made me wonder why I was like this. I knew for a fact that I could never like guys, yet why was I so against dating women? Turns out I needed to be one as well. It was the thought of being the boyfriend that made me uncomfortable. I've been consuming a lot of social media on lesbian relationships, and i suddenly relate even if I've never been in one. I could see myself clearly in it, it just feels right, and the fear and discomfort aren't there if it's a wlw relationship. Whereas I never managed to feel this deeply towards depictions of heterosexual couples who are all over media.
In fact, this channel was pivotal in helping me discover that I'm trans and lesbian, and I may have realized sooner if I had more role models like Jackie
That's so valid and seems like an experience many share!
So happy we have been a little part of your journey ❤️ and thank you so much for sharing your story!
When I was a teen, I was getting subtle hints from my parents that it would be ok if I was gay. Apparently, I was giving off very queer vibes. I was very confused, because I was into girls, and nobody told you about trans people in the 80s, let alone transbians.
Ah, and when I met my wife 20 years ago, I kind of knew I was trans. After we fell in love, she told me that she thought she was a lesbian, because she only ever fell in love with women before. So of course I told her she's still a lesbian, but with extra steps. She has settled calling herself pan, as she found out the people matter more to her than the plumbing. But anyways, she knew I would transition one day, and knowing that she went into the relationship knowing this made it so much easier to eventually transition.
Awww that's such a sweet story! Thank you so much for sharing ❤️
I really like the „genderbread person“. It‘s a perfect model to explain the difference between gender expression, attraction, identity and sex :)
That's so true! Everyone who needs to explain these aspects to someone should show that illustration ^^
I also am a trans lesbian. Sadly my partner was not ok being with a trans individual but we stay in contact. I have yet to find someone to share my life with but the two of you are absolutely adorable!
It's important to stay true to yourself ❤️ and now you get to find a person who'll love you for who you are ✨️
I've referred to myself as a male lesbian for 40 years. It's nice to see you had the ability to actually live the way you felt. The world is a very different place now.
It sure is! The world has changed so much just since we were kids so I can hardly imagine how it's been to grow up queer before that.
Im a 49 yr old woman of transgender experience and the term 'male lesbian' makes my skin crawl.
This is how my partner is as well. He feels trans but doesn't call himself that and does not want to transition yet, maybe ever, due to fear I think. I will love him regardless. I prefer women anyway, but he's my one. If he ever decides to take the plunge, I'll be here still.
I transitioned mtf six years ago. I'm also mainly interested in women. I'm married and my marriage survived my transition, as did my relationship with my daughter. The GP I first spoke to about being trans asked me about my sexuality, but nobody else did. I see myself as a kind of "butch" lesbian and I haven't really changed all that much. I have gone through medical transition with HRT and surgery. Perhaps because I'm older (in my fifties), I haven't noticed any experiences of not being accepted specifically due to my sexuality. There haven't been many people who haven't accepted me, actually, even in today's society. I live in Wales. Hope this helps people!
Oh that's so wonderful to hear! Thank you so much for sharing your experience 🙏❤️
I identified for years and years as a "male lesbian" because I didn't understand that trans was a thing I could be. Once I really connected the ideas, and asked "What actually makes me feel happy?" I found that in fact... me feeling feminine makes me happy. Even if I'm not a super girly woman, I'm much happier and more at ease... and while I was told my interests might shift focus a bit due to the hormones? I'm still a lesbian
That's wonderful that you found yourself ❤️
Just stumbled upon your channel, instantly subscribed :3
Honestly, that was one of the last defense lines in my denial 😂 I always thought "Well, mother nature dealt me a wrong card, so sadly I can't be lesbian, I'd rather die than force myself into being a man in a relationship and I guess I can't be trans since I'm crazy into girls". You two give me hope! ❤Also, Jackie is a real transition goal!
Aww thank you so much and welcome to the channel! So happy to have you here ❤️
Hahah that's so valid and quite a common experience it seems :') thank you for sharing and for the kind words!
trans lesbian here. met my wonderful girlfriend a month into transition, she is a few weeks behind in her transition so were kinda in the same spot. obviously as a T4T relationship its different to whats discussed here but a comfort in this is that we are both becoming more like the people we are and both are attracted to eachother, so change feels less scary. i love that i get to do this with her, that she just gets it. only downside is distance. but we fly and meet for the first time mid feruary and im sooooooooooo excited
I'm 37 and have only recently in the last few years come to the realization I was trans. It took a long time, partly because my coping mechanism for my dysphoria and depression was to escape reality and not think about things, but also because I knew I was attracted to women, but could never see myself being in a relationship or having sex with them. I thought for while in my early 30's I was just Aro/Ace but my depression and dysphoria grew even stronger until it became painfully obvious that I will never be happy in this body. Finally came out to family this week and they were very supportive. Feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders, scared and excited in equal measures about the next steps.
We're always talking about how damn complicated things like sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression are, it's all these different spectrums, labels and aspects of who we are, but ultimately I always end at the same conclusion that it's actually very VERY simple. We are who we are and we love who we love, and that's really all there is to it! Things would be so simple if society could just respect that in everyone.
Also I love that at 15:54 you can see the exact moment Anya completely loses track of what is being talked about 😆 I love you boo
For reaaaalllll :') how do people care so much about what other people do?? It's crazy.
And yepppp hahhaa I noticed it too and laughed at myself 😂
The amount of stories I've heard from ladies, also from friends, about men who thought the size of their dong was the ace in their deck, to win the person of desire over. Is frankly embarressing.
considering I've have never heard a single one mention member size being a factor to consider a potential lover.
also. Jackies dimples are adorable
Right?! No one loves deck more than a straight man 😂
And aren't they just? She melts my heart every day
It feels like I never see other trans/cis lesbian couples. Thank you both for sharing your life and love to us. My gf and I knew each other growing up and started dating just as she realised she wasn't cis, so it's been an amazing journey for us both so far.
Every step and milestone she goes through, I've fallen more in love with her. I never realised just how gay I was until I saw her standing in a cute dress leaning on one leg casually looking at her phone and just seeing the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. Makes me tear up from joy 🥹
lots of love from the UK xx
You guys are so cute and wholesome and I really needed this joy in my life today. Tak!❤❤❤
Aww so happy we could provide :') thank you so much!
Speaking of rights and wrongs: while I was in university, they told us one very true thing - the whole spectrum, being cis, trans, straight, bi, gay or lesbian doesn't matter at all, because all this just a variation of being completely normal person and so you're totally legit and alright whoever you are and whatever you do to make yourself to feel comfortable is absolutely ok. (Of course for the exception of intentional self harm or deliberately harming others)
I absolutely love this! Bc indeed - at the end of the day, there are as many experiences of gender and sexuality as there are people ❤️🙌
Your relationship is so beautiful. Thank you for being who you two are and making this video. My experience has been limited to discovering my transsbianis. Then hearing from a friend who outed me to a friend of hers I used to date, that the news about me wasn't surprising. I've been single and without a job since around that same time six plus years ago. I'm still trying to figure out if my family helping me move back to Missouri from Florida was a gift or a curse
Thank you for your kind words!
That sounds like a really complicated situation 🥺 I wish you all the best in finding your life out!
@WivesVsWorld complicated may as well be my middle name 😔. I'm just trying to be happy with having figured me out. . . which apparently I traded for having my life only half figured out. So progress, right? Now if I can just get a hand around my mind I might have a fighting chance with attempting the same with that life thing. Until then, the name of my boat will be the SS all of me existing over half a life with half a brain
@@JillianAlexis that's so valid 🥺 life takes time to figure out. ❤️
I'm a hetero man and my cousin just married the love of her life who is a trans woman, so a lot like you girls.
I never did any math or think anything of it because they are in love ❤ beyond that I really don't care 😂
I hope to see them soon as they are fleeing the US.
Aww that's so sweet ❤️ haha exactly - that should be how much ppl generally cared about other people's affairs 😂
Oh that's so sad :c but very understandable tbh
I love this video, I'm definitely Bi but I lean far more Saphic, it's like wishing I was a lesbian but not being able to shake some attraction to men, oh the futility of it all!!
Side note Anya's harness, collar and eye line combination is envy inducing and I LOVE IT.
Never seen your content before but I'm TOTALLY coming back to watch this just on the first few seconds alone lmao
you two seem really sweet right off the bat ^_^
Awww haha that's so sweet! Hope you'll enjoy it when you come back to watch then! 🥰 we tend to be very silly
I learned in the early 90s that sexual identity and sexual attraction are usually pretty independent of each other. Whoever you're into before you transition is probably who you'll be into after. Now, people's sexual attractions can definitely change over time, but it probably won't have a lot to do with transitioning.
I'm a sapphic leaning demisexual transfemme. Next month will be 16 years on HRT. Dating is definitely interesting, I usually end up dating Bi/Pan women because they're usually the most open to me as a transfemme.
My gender expression has changed a lot over the years too, once I was more comfortable living as a woman I started to get more tomboy/butch and even my friends where like, why did you transition??? But all 12yo me ever wanted to be was a punk tomboy, but My transition I felt that social pressured to be more feminine. Now most of my wardrobe is fun sun dresses and tank tops and I never really wear makeup. I'm very much that tomboy I didn't think was possible.
Awwww this is such a wonderful story! And definitely - somehow trans women are held to much stricter feminine expression than cis women!
Thank you so much for sharing ❤️
People be like, "So you transitioned to date men?" like if I needed to transition to date men...
Thank you so much for your video; it's nice to hear you talk about this subject!! And you're absolutely right: it's so hard to find out your true gender identity, especially if you're gender nonconforming in your chosen gender.
What a wonderful video. This came on my feed. Be what you want to be and live your own life. More people should watch this video and listen and care what others feel and want to be. Anya and Jackie , very well done.
The difficult thing for me is when I get into my own head. I find someone that I want to connect with but then I convince myself that she'll never see me as dating material due to what's between my legs, or that my voice isn't soft enough. I've been my biggest obstacle. Fear & panic have stopped me & been a true catalyst for many tears. I gave up trying for a few years. Fortunately I have made some good progress so things are looking up & heading in a positive direction.
I am trans and lesbian. It didn't work out for my marriage to a cis woman. I came out much later in life and I think that has a large impact on the ability to keep a marriage together.
Yeah that wouldn't surprise me! But glad to hear you're following your heart 🙏
Another trans gal here in a lesbian relationship with my cis partner 🙋♀️ We've been together over 16 years and started my transition a couple of years ago. She still identifies as a straight woman, but we are each others person. I'm definitely a little bi, but I'm way more attracted to women on the whole.
Love the channel and how open you guys are! 🫂
I’m a trans girl in a relationship with another trans girl, the connection we share and the depth of our love is something I feel would rival some of the greatest love stories ever told. I was always attracted to women and my partner is the same. We’ve had similar and very confused reactions but when they find out just how pure and beautiful our love for each other is, then it makes sense to most. Loved the video 🩷✌️
Thanks for talking about this! I had this experience when getting a wig. My hairdresser immediately jumped into the whole, “So we’re gonna get you something super glam so those men are gonna be really checking you out”.
She was incredibly disappointed when I told her I wanted short hair cause I’m a lesbian lol. The disappointed she showed was so palatable haha. I’m now in a beautiful relationship with a cis woman. 🥰🖤
Thank you for having this channel. I see a lot of really gross and judgey stuff when I search for "Trans Lesbians" and your channel feels fresh and honest. I appreciate that.
HIIIIII!!! Great to see you again! Love the video, this was something that was really confusing for figuring myself out at first, and it's always nice to see other trans lesbians talk about this 💘
Aww thank you so much! We're so happy to be back here ❤️
I love watching your videos, it's such a nice breath of fresh air seeing you two happy and also some positivity.
Mostly gay trans fem here, dating sucks. I live in a really small area and the dating pool is just as small for now. Y'all mentioned the bit on gay transfems not being seen as more authentic definitely resonates with my experience. My voice is higher than it ever has been but still noticeably deep from day to day. Things are progressing well enough for me and while I wouldn't mind some things going faster, I definitely can relate to that experience of being on the outside from where I stand. Thanks for the interesting and fun talk!
So happy you enjoyed the video, and wishing you all the best on your journey! ❤️
Y'all are such a beautiful couple! Thanks for sharing your perspectives and your experiences, and for untangling gender identity and sexual orientation and gender presentation in such a straightforward (gayforward?) way. Wishing you both an amazing day! 💛
I’ve said it before and ill say it again, Jackie’s perspective is so relatable lol and has exquisite taste in people 😂 love y’all
I'm an openly Trans-woman, who prefers women, (Kinsey: 4)... I knew something wasn't right from a reasonably early age. But, had no idea what being transgender even was. I thought there was something wrong with me and I was deeply embarrassed about it. And so, I pushed it deep down in the hopes that puberty would somehow correct me. Later in my early 20's I learned what I was, but felt Like I had left things too late and fear held me back again... I was in a long term relationship, by this point, failing to commit to marriage, as I knew if she found out, it would end us.... deeply unhappy, I got to a point so low, lying to her and myself, I had no choice but to come out... which ended our relationship.
Being a late transitioner, I regret every day, my mix of fear and ignorance, that held me back so long.
You two have such a beautiful chemistry, The kind of relationship I always wished for..I love watching you and am filled with jealousy at the same time..x
That must have been so difficult. Thank you so much for sharing your story ❤️ I'm so glad you've found yourself though, and maybe the love of your life who sees you for who you are is right around the corner ✨️🙏
OMGomgomg when you mentioned the comic recommendation, I had a hunch that it would be Us, and I can't believe you actually recommended it!! Yeeeeessss such a great comic!! I'm from the same small province as the author, in Spain. I look up to her so much as an artist aaaaahhhh
Hi Jackie and Anya, love you both! I'm also a trans lesbian in a relationship with a bi cis woman. We've been married for almost 18 years, and I have been living as a woman for the last 3. She was always bi, and I always knew that about her, and I loved that about her. We would send each other pictures of Instagram models when we were apart from each other (we still do this, actually). I knew from a very early age that I wanted to be a woman, but didn't think that was something that I could be or that I would find any woman who would want to be with me if I transitioned (also a heaping helping of internalized transphobia.) I so was just like, "I guess this is good enough". I was so afraid of losing her if I transitioned. Eventuality she found out about my desires, because it's a difficult thing to keep to yourself, especially from someone that you share everything with. To my surprise, she encouraged me to dress up for her, and the flood gates just kind of opened from there. It was a little rocky in the beginning, both kind of not sure if the other would eventually want something (or someone) else, but today we are stronger than ever and living as a lesbian couple and raising our 3 kids. I don't know how I got so lucky, but I never take it for granted.
thank you a lot for this video. istg being trans and all of those questions always it is really exhausting to even think about what relationship is the validating one. It is so stressful because I can know that any relationship would be valid but Society doesn't make you feel that way at all.
I appreciate both of you so much. I learn a lot from every video. 💙💥
Thank you so much, so happy to hear that! ❤️
I am a trans lesbian (full 6 on the Richter scale). I think my sexuality definitely delayed my transition.
I think I panicked when I tried presenting very femme and started worrying about being attractive to men, and wound up repressing for years.
Although at this point I am a theoretical lesbian, as I haven't actually had a partner.
That definitely makes a lot of sense! It can be so confusing even without all the added layers on top :') but well done on figuring it out eventually ❤️ thank you for sharing!
Hi! I'm transfem, and so is my girlfriend.
I've had a crush on her since shortly after we met in ~2018. She and I were both cis then and neither of us were able to transition at that time due to pressure from now cut off family and school on both of our ends of things. Around 2020 she started transitioning, and in 2022 I began doing the same. She was the first person I talked to about me being trans, because I knew that I could trust her and that she'd have something to say to help me.
We've both been growing since then, and although neither of us are anywhere close to being done with our transitions, we're content with where we're at for the time being. Around November last year I asked her out, and ever since then it's just been magical. I love her so much, and she loves me. Neither one of us judge the other for their past or how their transition is going, and we support eachother in every way possible. She has done more good for me than anyone else ever has, and I genuinely believe that one day, when things have calmed down, I'm going to ask her to marry me. It's a long road to get there, as she is stuck in the US and I'm in Canada, but it's a road that I want to walk down.
For the first time in my life, I dont see myself dead by 10 years time, and thats all because of her. I actually look forward to the future, and I want to keep going, to keep fighting, to keep existing just so that I can be with her. I dont care how hard the road that's coming may be, I will do anything for her. She is the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, and I'm so happy because of her.
Julie, if you somehow find this, I love you so much, and I will never stop fighting for a future with you in it.
I'm gonna cry :') wish you two all the best!!
Thank you for this video, description fits me exactly 💕💕💕💕
So happy you enjoyed it! 🥰❤️
Such a sweet video! I'm excited to have found your channel. I'm pretty much in the same situation with my girlfriend and it's kinda funny to see the confusion on people's face when they see two transfemmes together.
So glad you guys came back to YT today. I was feeling so dysphoric this weekend and this was 100% a pick-me-up video
Aww, the timing couldn't have been better then ❤️
Glad you're feeling a little better 😊
Trans lesbian here and i definitely had issues with my sexuality before coming out. I had been in a relationship for 3 years and, even if i already knew I wanted to marry my girlfriend and spend our whole lives together, I always had this feeling of something being wrong. I just couldn't help to be uncomfortable with the fact that people saw us as a very normative straight couple, even if both of us were already a bit queer. I just understood our love as something different, and when i came out everything started to feel right.
Don't get me wrong though, it wasn't that easy, I was afraid too that i was about to lose the love of my life just out of a crazy thing that i needed to do, but it worked out and now we are happier than ever.
Your experiences helped me a lot back then when i needed to hear them, thanks for sharing them!
I hope someone who's in the same place as I was gets to read this, it's all gonna be alright
Awww what an amazing story 🥺 that is so wonderful! Thank you so much for sharing, and how amazing that we've been a small part of your journey ❤️ much love!
I'm so happy to see this video. I transfer when I was in school the thoughts in my head were all about wanting to be a girl and date my crushes, but thinking "no, if i was a girl I'd like boys wouldn't I?"
Love the channel, as always. Love from Scotland! ❤
I haven’t seen this yt channel in months but the hair is immaculate
We've been hidden under layers of work, but we're finally back! And thank you ☺️❤️
I’m a trans lesbian who went through both experiences. My wife (at the time), when I came out to her, told me that even though she’s bi she’s not attracted to trans people of either gender.
Fast forward a few years, after reconnecting with old friends I developed a deep and enduring connection with a woman I’ve known for half my life, who was herself exploring her new identity as a lesbian. We’ve had lots of conversations about gender, sexuality, and loving someone for their soul.
You're such a cute couple and obviously love each other so so much! I love your videos, they always bring a smile to my face.
so since you're asking let me talk about my life like it's important hahaha.
so i'm transfem, i'm currently in a lesbian relationship with the same person i was before i transitioned 2 years ago, which was already a 15y relationship at that point (we're not THAT old, we're just highschool sweethearts 😁).
a quick timeline : i was that "guy" in high school jokingly saying that "i would have been so happy to be born a girl and a lesbian" but since my only experience with trans identity was a transwoman that my family and their friends mocked during a trip to spain, i never considered it as a possibility, really falling into the "no but i'm cis but i'm really close to be trans" trap, until maybe 6 years ago when the gears finally started turning, finally coming to the realization 4 years ago (almost to the day) that i was, in fact, trans.
and my, at the time, 12y relationship was the big reason why i postponed, and at first, tried to fight my newly discovered gender identity. not really because i thought my gf would reject my gender as incompatible with her sexuality (me and my gf were both kind of out and open as both pan/bisexuals) but rather because in my head, she didn't signed for that, for the trouble to be in a lesbian relationship, and with a trans person, and the complete clusterfork that it will bring into our lives in years of growing fascism in the world.
it took us 2 years to clear the air and finally communicate on the subject and that was the key (therapy helped, for both of us). she had a role to play in that decision in a sense that i was unconsciously waiting for her "permission" to proceed, and we decided that, in the end, i was who i was, and we would both lost everything by not trying. so i started transitioning 2 years ago and came out to my family last year, and honestly, i've been very lucky because every side of my life has improved since (except my boobs... they are taking their sweet ass time unfortunately).
but yeah, it was a hard decision to make, it took time, communication, a bit of patience and also, throwing a dice, hoping to get a 20. i was very lucky to got one, not everyone will have the same luck and i'm grateful for it every day.
(and i'm still racking up a big chunk of guilt every time we got some side eyes when going outside and holding hands in the streets, because that wasn't what my girlfriend signed on when we started dating all those years ago. and she's always angry when i talk about that guilt and usually responds "it's not like you abducted me, i stayed because i wanted too" which, okay is a nice argument i give her that)
It’s wild that some people can’t decouple sexuality from gender, there’s soooo much variety in the way people love and interact with the world
It's really hard wired for some people, but hopefully we can help broaden their understanding one step at the time ☺️
"straight with extra step" is a taken joke from Tv show Rick and Morty when morty says "slavery with extra step".
But ohh boy that was a very long hiatus I was waiting for your video.
We'll probably be late again in the future but we're trying our best 😂🙏
@WivesVsWorld yes I really appreciate your content I hope you both enjoy making them 😁 no rush at all take ur time
@chrismonty9295 aww thank you so much!! And absolutely, we both love it and are so happy to be back! 🥰
Loved your video, and the love I could see for yourselves and each other on your faces! My situation is complicated with personal convictions of faith, but I've been married 19 years and on E for about 3. I lean heavily towards masc, probably soft masc transfem lesbian or bigender? I also worried about our relationship and the kids, but starting and being on E has helped our relationship immensely. I don't know what the future holds, whether a full social transition or something else. For now just relearning how to enjoy life.
I’ve known since I was little (around age 3) that I was not a boy. I am now in a loving relationship with a cis woman (recently married) and it’s definitely a queer relationship. I am really happy to have found this channel!
Hello, I just found your video. I am in a t4t marriage that is also poly. My wife currently has a cis girlfriend. I have partners that are trans. I love your take on these issues. Thank you for doing this. P.S. you are both so beautiful.
Thank you so much for your kind words and for sharing your experience ❤️ much love!
Trans Sapphic here, I thought that I would still have my partner as she enjoyed my feminine energy but presenting masc, as soon as I changed my look to be more feminine, she seemed less interested. There are still moments of being attracted to me but it could be driven by memories. To be fair, she’s been in search of someone else even before my transition but I suppose it was a nail to the coffin of our 15 year relationship. We still communicate because of our child though.
I do think family pressures to give our daughter straight parents was a big factor.
We do still spend time together as a family whenever we can but unfortunately live separately. 😢
So sorry to hear that! 🥺 hopefully you can move on and be true to yourself and find someone who loves you just as you are ❤️
@ thank you so much for your videos. Always gives me hope.
the future is unknown. As easy as it is to make it seem negative, I have to keep in mind that there will be positive moments. It’s those moments we have to be prepared to be surprised by.
My dreams still live and I hope to have love again.
Trans woman here, 23yrs. 7 months on e 😁 Growing up, I didn’t have any notion of my gender other than I felt I didn’t fit in with anyone, regardless of gender. This is mostly because I was dissociative. I’ve resolved that only recently and now have started discovering myself.
This is all to say I didn’t believe myself that I was trans til recently, though all through my childhood and high school years, I was absolutely infatuated with every girl I met, even before knowing anything about lgbt whatsoever. It was honestly unreasonable how much I loved women.
This is still true to an extent but I’m much more healthy with it now, just still am probably a bit love bomby in relationships now.
I finally had the realisation that I wasn’t lying to myself about my identity at all, seven months ago. So no, gender identity has nothing to do with sexuality, at least in my experience.
An interesting experience from my teenage years though, is that I constantly felt like I was gay. I identified incredibly heavily with liking the same gender, even though I believed myself to be a boy, and liked women, making me straight, but I never identified with being straight. It just didn’t feel right.
Once I had the realisation that I really was trans, it made so much sense. I was identifying with being lesbian, because my identity and sexuality lined up to make me a lesbian, even though I didn’t know this due to dissociation, my brain was identifying exactly what I was even though I couldn’t see it.
I'm a trans woman married to a cis woman and have been for many, many years and expect to for many more. I love seeing this so much!
Awww that's so sweet! Much love to you!!
This is so comforting to me thank you for sharing your experiences and thoughts 💜💜💜
You are so welcome 🤗❤️
I wish i can see u guys do some vlogs and show more of ur life!
That's such a good idea! We're not very familiar with vlogging but maybe we could start experimenting with it! 🥰
I’m trans my wife is cis it’s been a beautiful journey so far and hopefully a very long one I love your videos 🥰
Aww that's so wonderful! ❤️
One of my younger children are transitioning FTM, as are their significant other, and they are two happy young gay men who are horrendously supportive of each other and I'm glad they have that.
I identify as Cis Male Hetro. I grew up as a teenager in the early 90s in Canada. My best friend is a Trans woman who is also bi-sexual. I was/am privileged to have gone on that journey together. We learned togeather. I'm greatful for that continuing opportunity. ✌😁🖖🇨🇦
I'm born male, mid-50s now, about 9 months since my egg cracked.
My attractions did not change since I realized I'm some form of trans: I'm still attracted to women, across a range from tomboy to femme.
Most of my past women partners have been bi- or discovering that tendency in themselves. I'm okay with having been a stepping stone for some of them to realize their true selves, and I'm super happy for them.
I've kissed men to see what it was like. It didn't do much for me, and I doubt I'll ever kiss one again.
The only thing that has really changed is that I now recognize myself as more female than male, and most of that masculinity is just remnants of the mask I wore to survive in an intolerant society.
Thank you so much for sharing ❤️
I always so enjoy your videos. This was a wonderful start to my day!
Thank you so much, and thanks for watching! 🥰
That was me, I delayed my transition for years because I thought I wouldn't be allowed to transition because I am only attracted to women(and some non binary folks) like full on dedicated Himejoshi, even before I knew I was a woman I only shipped women together, only played women in games and if I was allowed to, dated/flirted with women in it. Plus I am futch/butch, another reason why I thought I wouldn't be able to transition
It took me half a decade after realizing that I'm a woman before I finally took the plunge(at 25 yrs old), I was miserable in the end, just got a bunch of hrt online and did it myself, waiting that long and not just doing it myself from the start has been the biggest mistake of my life!
I'm about to celebrate 2 years on hrt on March 16th!🥳
It can be so tricky when society is so busy stuffing us into such rigid boxes! Thank you for sharing ❤️
@@WivesVsWorld I hope someday we'll live in a post cisheteropatriarchal world where people can just be allowed to be themselves from the get-go and not have to struggle against all these societal pressures demanding from them to be one of the 2 approved modes of being a person 24/7/365!
I'm in a T4T Lesbian relationship and I also had to have the sexuality is not the same as gender identity talk with a co worker but other than that It's been amazing
So wonderful to hear! ❤️
I'm transfemme pansexual but prefer women more. Many, many people outside of trans and LGBTQ circles are very confused about the difference of gender and sexuality.
Love your humor. Like when Jackie says in the start "Do they not know the homosexual?"
Wish you ladies all the best in 2025! 💖🏳🌈🏳⚧
Exactly! And when you live in this bubble, it can be quite baffling sometimes.
Hahaa glad you enjoy our silliness! And thank you so much, right back at you ❤️
Hii straight transgirly heree (who loves your videos :>) I've actually experienced the same but opposite problem. For example when i came out as trans publicly my sister started assuming i like women. it got to a point where i literally had to come out to her as straight lol but when i did she couldn't fathom it at all. She kept saying "no! You're not straight your bi!!"
Oh hahah quite a different experience! Thank you so much for sharing 🥰 and thank you for your kind words ❤️
I'm very glad you are both happy! And crazily cute! Mostly very happy for you! That is awesome
You make a lovely couple. I transitioned to trans as a senior citizen after a lifetime of knowing I was trans. It took years for the concept to be clarified. In the 1950-60s you were a drag queen. Christine Jorgensen changed that. At first my wife of 30+ years was unhappy, but be patient. It takes time for people to adjust to such a big change, but the ones who love you will.
so I'm a trans lesbian too! I've always been into women, never really into men, but even then I really didn't identify with how other boys/men expressed their sexuality. Part of this was rejecting misogyny and stuff, but I had always wanted to call myself a lesbian and got really excited when I found out terms like 'male lesbian' cause I was like "hey, that's me!" Funnily enough, being gay made it easier for me to come out as trans cause it was like "omg I can actually be a lesbian now!! This answers so many questions about how I feel about my sexuality!!!" I have since learnt more about myself of course, I suspect I'm also somewhere on the ace spectrum, likely demisexual, so that only added to the disconnect I felt with my hypersexual teenage male peers growing up, but regardless I love love love being a lesbian, even if due to demisexuality I haven't actually been in a relationship since coming out as one :)
Thank you so much for sharing! ❤️
I've thought of myself as bi since I was around 15, even though I rarely felt attracted to actual men - it was always more of a fantasy, an abstract thing. I've had what I now know to call "very egg thoughts" as far back as my late teens or early 20s, but I didn't know what it meant. I dated almost exclusively women; my first dalliance with a man was when I was around 25 or 26, and while it was exciting, I didn't really enjoy the physical stuff as much as I expected I would.
I was 35 a year ago when my egg finally started to crack; and one of the things I realised (and which, in turn, helped me realise I'm trans) was that on the few occasions I actually had any kind of entanglement with a man, the thing that made it thrilling and exciting and fun was that I could _stop_ being "the man in the relationship" - it was an outlet, a way to feel more feminine. I'm still undecided if I now identify as fully lesbian, but it's a very near thing (and in part I'm holding back because of imposter syndrome, which I have an abundance of).
as a trans lesbian that just started HRT a bit more than a month ago, I'd say T4T is my only option. I have had experiences with cis sapphics that weren't super wholesome, sometimes it was just me being a complete mess but I sensed there was performative allyship going around and I don't really wanna expose myself to that until I'm truly confident about myself.
Trans girlie here! I remember always wishing I could wake up as a girl or imagining what it would be like to live as one. Back then, I thought, “Everyone has these kinds of daydreams, right?” It took me years to actually figure out what was behind those feelings.
A friend of mine took me to one of the most popular Pride parades in our country, and that’s when I first saw a trans girlie. At that point, I was already heavily questioning my sexuality, but I didn’t even know being trans was a possibility-I just didn’t know trans people existed. The realization hit me like a wall of bricks: What if that’s what I’ve been missing all this time? What if that’s the missing piece to why I’ve never been truly happy, even when I felt like I should be?
I started wandering around the internet and found Reddit communities like r/egg_irl and r/trans. I wanted to see if I had something in common with the people there. To my surprise (or not), I saw myself in nearly every post and meme. That only left me more confused. What does this mean? Am I trans? How do I figure that out on my own? I decided to look for a therapist who could help me out. After months of searching without any luck, I finally found one and started therapy with her. That’s where my journey began.
Fast forward to now: I’ve been in therapy for three years, on hormones for two, and just had my consultation for bottom surgery! Through this journey, I found my wonderful (cis) girlfriend, and we’ve been inseparable ever since. Living as a transbian is HARD. It feels like you’re breaking not one but two societal norms, and people either don’t understand or struggle to empathize. But honestly? That doesn’t matter. I’ve never felt so good about myself. I’ve never felt more right or complete, and I wouldn’t change who I am for anything or anyone.
I'm trans and.. pan. Leaning more lesbian than not, but not 100%. For me, being trans and opening my eyes to the LGBTQ++ community is incredible and freeing. I'm not sure where my future is headed, but no matter what happens I will never go back, never not be trans, and am so thankful that I came out and found a community and creators that are so interesting and fun. Thank you!
I er tilbage! Så dejligt at se jer igen
Hvor er du sød!! Vi havde lige et par lidt stramme måneder, men lige nu går det så dejligt og vi er excited over at være tilbage i videoformat! 🥳 tusind tak for de søde ord ❤️
@@WivesVsWorld Årh, det er jeg ked af at høre! Jeg er glad for at I er kommet igennem det -- what doesn't kill you makes you stronger ;)
So I started HRT three and a half months ago and after hearing from quite a few people who's attraction changed on estrogen one of my biggest fears was actually that I could start to find men attractive.
Turns out it just widened the spectrum of women I find attractive. 😅
Thanks for this video... it was an otherwise bright ray of sunshine on an otherwise dreadfully dark and scary day in America...
Glad we could provide a little bit of comfort 🥺🙏
@@WivesVsWorld Definitely appreciated!
As a bisexual trans guy, something that made me realize my transness many years ago was that attraction towards men feels queer to me 🤔 In a way attraction to women doesn't. But I'm very bisexual and would describe myself as smack down the middle of the kinsey scale. 😂
That's so interesting! But honestly makes a lot of sense haha ❤️ thank you for sharing!
I missed you so much❤
We missed you more!! ❤️
I've been out as trans for about a year and a half. I knew that it wouldn't matter to my cis nesting partner and cis gf(we're also polyamorous) because we're all pansexual. We don't see gender in our partners. We see their personality and fall in love with them for that. So on the outside we look like a bunch of lesbians but to us we just see the people we love to be with. ❤ Great video girls
That's so wonderful ❤️ love hearing that! Thank you so much for sharing ✨️
How interesting. In my personal experience, I've never ever met someone who is a transgender woman that is NOT attracted to women and only men. I never imagined that this case is seen as surprising and rare. How very interesting! Anyway, so glad you guys found each other ❤ you're a gorgeous couple. Beautiful chemistry ~