Thanks for this information! After studying the Enneagram for over a year and thinking I was possibly a 1 or 8, I heard your description of the Self Pres 3 and a HUGE lightbulb went off. Yep, that is definitely me and knowing that has been both healing and transformative. Thanks so very much for your clarification! 💜
So sorry for the delay. Glad this helped and thanks so much for watching and digging deep! I put a hard boundary on my time in the last year so I could write a book, which I just finished the first draft 🙌🏼 Know that I always appreciate every remark/response and try to get back to each and every one. If at all interested send me your email through instagram or my email to be on my mailing list Insta - @drewnewkirkpsychotherapy OR Drew@DrewNewkirk.com Hope all is well and thanks for reaching out Drew
I would be interested in a video on the dynamic between 3 and 4, as there tends to be a lot of tension. I know that I, as a social 4, tend to be very put off by them.
@@drewnewkirk 3 w 4 wing here. Also score high in 8??? Relentless curiosity. Social yet enjoy time alone, but not too much. ENFJ in the Myer Briggs... psychotherapist (existential/experiential) by trade. Also an author! And founder of a not-for-profit, but didn't enjoy the authority... loved the process. Keep up the terrific work, Drew. Love your stuff & greetings from Australia.
For the last two years I have been 100% sure I was a self pres 1w2, and have always had a very difficult time with 3’s…but the self pres 3 really resonates with me. Is there a clear distinction between the two?
The clear distinction is always the unconscious motivation. Perfection/get-it-right or success/achievement Your core motivation is everything Maybe watch the overviews again and see if that helps. Keep digging 😉 Drew
Amazing work Drew!! Your enneagram insights Are as unique as you! Any updates on when your much anticipated 9w8 might be filmed ? Not trying to rush you but i am Just so curious about your take on the nine wing eight. Thanks !!
Ha! Damn. I’ve pumped out 22 videos in 2 months I’m exhausted Actually taking a sabbatical to Switzerland for 3 weeks to brainstorm But think I may actually get in to some unique topics that aren’t so specifically 1 number centric So…. Ugh… not soon
@@drewnewkirk good things come to those who wait . Hope u are even more revived … I have recommended your channel to many and all have given positive feedback. We all love how long / in depth the videos are !
@@drewnewkirk I think there was a miscommunication 😂… when I asked when u would make the video , it was my way of saying I am looking forward to it with excitement but not demanding you make a video at that moment! Maybe us 9s communicate too vaguely . Being misunderstood in my communication style has been a major life theme of mine !
when you after 2 years find out as infj you had all the time a 3 fix and dont saw it because of looking "what other say" and how often 3 is possible, then yes... difficult to see. I always loved ted talks and so/sx 3 tony robbins... i was always not only for love, own success and development or love partner as life sense or art or creative career you know? I always felt sense in the combination of the words "seeing potencial, motivate others, insprining leader, motivating, pushy and fair but competitive" and found out, im an infj with a 3 fix. Yes im good in chameleon like, i like navy blazers as woman and change between sporty, business, dancing, masculine, feminine, comfortable, childlike hapy or down to earth look. In my childhood we had financial problems and a lot of social stigma and mobbing. I understood that i want be "big", but not with forgetting myself. As kid i searched praised, compliments, words of others proud of me, showing my best, look good, healthy and professional. I still dont know if im 3w2 or 3w4 and where my sp is, im somewhat communication and recognition, career oriented, but like you said sx in form of relashionships, attractivness display and inspiration leader/talker and then the sp self growth and who i am my own and search for stability and good job and payment one as woman, looking more reserved. Like a 3w4 infj would be very atypical and often think of 2 and 4 in tritype or tipping false right? But truth is....MBTI is cognition and enneagram childhood wounds, strenghs, talents and behavior, its not about an INFJ cant be a 3 or entj and estj a 4 And yes thats... weird and i feel that... im somewhat for/in the group...participating, but not like my whole person is fully involved against my own goal and future plan. Also i knowed that young, my ni and se are both fearly felt, i was always more skilled in sport and dancing or motoric than typical infj descriptions. I also have 6w7 in my tritype and come along with esfps, estjs and esfjs... i also knowed i have less 3 because i felt unwell with the thought to stand out such originaly or weird, that others talk about my style. Im much more abput good looking, feminine, androgyne, good dressed, sneaker or business, but not too extraordinary or unnessary things on my body. I feel somewhat more down to earth. I saw traits of myself in azula of aang the series... like this hand up and agressive power eyes on volleyballfield and perfection trait to showmy best, she is so/sp 3w4 typed, but in my view 3w2 confident and search praise of others. I think, 3 in infj is like wanting to fit/shapeshift with that ni/fe/ti/se everywhere, every land and field or in relashionship as strengh. Learning stays to sense where the inner or deeper life goal is. I dont feel broken, i feel like i feel well when liked and fitting in, but also true myself... i like too help too, yes, but more in a career sense of potencial push and sport push... not like this "nice can i repair this or bring you this glass water or sure i forget my own and bake you something" type of helping. Its a... more deeper, nessesary and honest help on personality and life paths Also i had something crazy to think about... i was somewhat bullied and talked behind the back... but others also feared my or distant from me, because i also had self esteem and talked words honestly out... it feels like 3w4, but maybe i switch the wings during time and situation. Im either shy or initiative and forward, confronting. The problem with this sp 3 public view, a lot of 4s also reproduce false, is of being fake, material, money and things related. But when you understand self prservation for life energy, not being tired, health, less financial resources childhoods, health and safety needed and self growth... you see, that in reality 3s are often coaches, teachers, self entrepreneurs and helpers of all kinds who need something to see of value. Sp is no "money or car". I drive with train, i dont have a driving license, i like culture, workshops, education and to do something important with my own time and person The deep wound and seen in sp 3 and why they are more reserved or less sexual interested young is "i have to do something worthy to be of worth". Its like even when pausing, relaxing... there is an unwell feeling of (im bisexual) : "How can i manage family, a woman, a happy life, hobbies with no stable job and fun, with waisting my time and resources? Often sp 3s grow mostly between 25 and 50, when they have and earned more to life life. Its not all about an sp 7. I lead with 9 or 1, but with the 3 in tritype... i tend to look mostly up to others, to respect the people who suceed or had special career or motivated and helped people in life or big speeches.. i also tend young to make friends who had a life goal... it felt not like... real connecting out of love you know? I also wondered why i understood extroverted 3s so often, when others dont liked them... i have it myself in me and yes, im more honest to myself after being 16. And mh...i look in the mirror, but not all day 😮. Im good in beginnimg, but not maintaining relashionships, i seldom feel like being myself with someone. Im always both, confident and shy, intellectual and sporty, follower and leading... and it confuses the most people around me Vanity? I had dumped my family in public young in front of others to role myself as more important and more efficient, i saw that in azula and pictures of this harry potter blond opponent of 3w4 and dont realized that till enneagram Now i do my matura on second education way as adult and want the first who study in family
also recommendation "The instinctual drives and the enneagram", by John Luckovich. Its the book everyone needs. A lot of sexual self typed introverrs are social doms and sp lasts are sp doms. For example when you see "health" or look about health and life energy or dont wanna be depressed... you are sp first. Self preservation is the life force energy and ground basis of all life and so the most needed one. Its on the people and background and cognition, IQ, country, self development how healthy their sp instinct portrays. Normally healthy states means, you want it for yourself and others, so thats the reason why sp ones are also financial coaches for women or entrepreneurs, self starters... sp is "self growth, seeing own strenghs and ressources without others". Sure when buying low food, watching tv, obsess with shopping or things, nothing deeper can be suceed in life. Sp ones like me dont smoke (i know my health and protect it), dont like superficial hook ups and to earn a good job and life to feel lively and so also a good energy around others. No gluten, no milk, no brain fog, no unnessary things...
My understanding is that Sexual 3 is more the helping others find success. Which results in Tony Robbins, and other self help coaches.
The CMA’s analogy is spot on with that nuance.. nuance matters! The more i learn the more it all clicks into a pattern
It’s so subtle right? That’s why I love the enneagram, it requires you to really look for the nuances
Thanks for this information! After studying the Enneagram for over a year and thinking I was possibly a 1 or 8, I heard your description of the Self Pres 3 and a HUGE lightbulb went off. Yep, that is definitely me and knowing that has been both healing and transformative. Thanks so very much for your clarification! 💜
So sorry for the delay. Glad this helped and thanks so much for watching and digging deep! I put a hard boundary on my time in the last year so I could write a book, which I just finished the first draft 🙌🏼 Know that I always appreciate every remark/response and try to get back to each and every one.
If at all interested send me your email through instagram or my email to be on my mailing list
Insta - @drewnewkirkpsychotherapy OR Drew@DrewNewkirk.com
Hope all is well and thanks for reaching out
Drew
I would say 3 is masculine. 2 feminine. 4 is a mixture of both.
Good point that the healthier one is the more they can balance all 3 instincts.
Seeks approval more than other subtypes!
What is enviable is what is liked by most people!
Peacock
Needs the spotlight to keep motivated!
Tries to be what you are not
Tries to conform
Thank you. So on point on how I function
👊🏼
Wow, this video, unlike others helped me narrow in on instincts! :O
Interesting, bc I’ve seen Sx 3 help more.
Notes:
Sp - Concerned of being zapped of energy
Overidentify with role
Yazz!!! My Husband is a 3🥴😂... Look forward to this
Stick it to him! Let’s get the marriage cooking with grease 😉
I would be interested in a video on the dynamic between 3 and 4, as there tends to be a lot of tension. I know that I, as a social 4, tend to be very put off by them.
I think I cover a good bit of this in the 4w3 video. And I describe a bit of that tension in the 3 videos as I’m a 4 and totally biased 😉
Thanks! I will give a listen!
Makes being a 3w4 a little extra weird lol
@@leebarbs7176 definitely the 2 weirdest combinations
4w3 & 3w4
@@drewnewkirk 3 w 4 wing here. Also score high in 8??? Relentless curiosity. Social yet enjoy time alone, but not too much. ENFJ in the Myer Briggs... psychotherapist (existential/experiential) by trade. Also an author! And founder of a not-for-profit, but didn't enjoy the authority... loved the process. Keep up the terrific work, Drew. Love your stuff & greetings from Australia.
This is awesome, thank you!
Loved doing it, hope it helps
Drew
For the last two years I have been 100% sure I was a self pres 1w2, and have always had a very difficult time with 3’s…but the self pres 3 really resonates with me. Is there a clear distinction between the two?
The clear distinction is always the unconscious motivation. Perfection/get-it-right or success/achievement
Your core motivation is everything
Maybe watch the overviews again and see if that helps. Keep digging 😉
Drew
It is obvious being Self Pres = More $. But I wish there were more videos on the advantages of being sexual or social.
Been confused between SP3 and SX3…
Is it ok to identify with the one whose description stung the most?😂
Ha! That’s what happened for me. Or at least I knew I was hearing loud truth
Amazing work Drew!! Your enneagram insights Are as unique as you!
Any updates on when your much anticipated 9w8 might be filmed ? Not trying to rush you but i am Just so curious about your take on the nine wing eight.
Thanks !!
Ha! Damn. I’ve pumped out 22 videos in 2 months
I’m exhausted
Actually taking a sabbatical to Switzerland for 3 weeks to brainstorm
But think I may actually get in to some unique topics that aren’t so specifically 1 number centric
So…. Ugh… not soon
@@drewnewkirk enjoy your break! Thanks for all you have done! I bet u are exhausted
@@bradbohn1956 I am, but today is my first full day in Switzerland and I’m already feeling revived. But, still need patience 😂
@@drewnewkirk good things come to those who wait . Hope u are even more revived … I have recommended your channel to many and all have given positive feedback. We all love how long / in depth the videos are !
@@drewnewkirk I think there was a miscommunication 😂… when I asked when u would make the video , it was my way of saying I am looking forward to it with excitement but not demanding you make a video at that moment!
Maybe us 9s communicate too vaguely . Being misunderstood in my communication style has been a major life theme of mine !
Sx3, here, and this tracks…. Unfortunately. 😂
We all got our dogshit to deal with. Get after it and tweak a bit Ryen 😉
Drew
Min 35 .18. Ah bon?
35:
when you after 2 years find out as infj you had all the time a 3 fix and dont saw it because of looking "what other say" and how often 3 is possible, then yes... difficult to see.
I always loved ted talks and so/sx 3 tony robbins... i was always not only for love, own success and development or love partner as life sense or art or creative career you know? I always felt sense in the combination of the words "seeing potencial, motivate others, insprining leader, motivating, pushy and fair but competitive" and found out, im an infj with a 3 fix. Yes im good in chameleon like, i like navy blazers as woman and change between sporty, business, dancing, masculine, feminine, comfortable, childlike hapy or down to earth look. In my childhood we had financial problems and a lot of social stigma and mobbing. I understood that i want be "big", but not with forgetting myself. As kid i searched praised, compliments, words of others proud of me, showing my best, look good, healthy and professional.
I still dont know if im 3w2 or 3w4 and where my sp is, im somewhat communication and recognition, career oriented, but like you said sx in form of relashionships, attractivness display and inspiration leader/talker and then the sp self growth and who i am my own and search for stability and good job and payment one as woman, looking more reserved.
Like a 3w4 infj would be very atypical and often think of 2 and 4 in tritype or tipping false right? But truth is....MBTI is cognition and enneagram childhood wounds, strenghs, talents and behavior, its not about an INFJ cant be a 3 or entj and estj a 4
And yes thats... weird and i feel that... im somewhat for/in the group...participating, but not like my whole person is fully involved against my own goal and future plan. Also i knowed that young, my ni and se are both fearly felt, i was always more skilled in sport and dancing or motoric than typical infj descriptions. I also have 6w7 in my tritype and come along with esfps, estjs and esfjs... i also knowed i have less 3 because i felt unwell with the thought to stand out such originaly or weird, that others talk about my style. Im much more abput good looking, feminine, androgyne, good dressed, sneaker or business, but not too extraordinary or unnessary things on my body. I feel somewhat more down to earth. I saw traits of myself in azula of aang the series... like this hand up and agressive power eyes on volleyballfield and perfection trait to showmy best, she is so/sp 3w4 typed, but in my view 3w2 confident and search praise of others.
I think, 3 in infj is like wanting to fit/shapeshift with that ni/fe/ti/se everywhere, every land and field or in relashionship as strengh. Learning stays to sense where the inner or deeper life goal is.
I dont feel broken, i feel like i feel well when liked and fitting in, but also true myself... i like too help too, yes, but more in a career sense of potencial push and sport push... not like this "nice can i repair this or bring you this glass water or sure i forget my own and bake you something" type of helping. Its a... more deeper, nessesary and honest help on personality and life paths
Also i had something crazy to think about... i was somewhat bullied and talked behind the back... but others also feared my or distant from me, because i also had self esteem and talked words honestly out... it feels like 3w4, but maybe i switch the wings during time and situation. Im either shy or initiative and forward, confronting.
The problem with this sp 3 public view, a lot of 4s also reproduce false, is of being fake, material, money and things related. But when you understand self prservation for life energy, not being tired, health, less financial resources childhoods, health and safety needed and self growth... you see, that in reality 3s are often coaches, teachers, self entrepreneurs and helpers of all kinds who need something to see of value. Sp is no "money or car". I drive with train, i dont have a driving license, i like culture, workshops, education and to do something important with my own time and person
The deep wound and seen in sp 3 and why they are more reserved or less sexual interested young is "i have to do something worthy to be of worth". Its like even when pausing, relaxing... there is an unwell feeling of (im bisexual) : "How can i manage family, a woman, a happy life, hobbies with no stable job and fun, with waisting my time and resources? Often sp 3s grow mostly between 25 and 50, when they have and earned more to life life. Its not all about an sp 7.
I lead with 9 or 1, but with the 3 in tritype... i tend to look mostly up to others, to respect the people who suceed or had special career or motivated and helped people in life or big speeches.. i also tend young to make friends who had a life goal... it felt not like... real connecting out of love you know? I also wondered why i understood extroverted 3s so often, when others dont liked them... i have it myself in me and yes, im more honest to myself after being 16.
And mh...i look in the mirror, but not all day 😮. Im good in beginnimg, but not maintaining relashionships, i seldom feel like being myself with someone. Im always both, confident and shy, intellectual and sporty, follower and leading... and it confuses the most people around me
Vanity? I had dumped my family in public young in front of others to role myself as more important and more efficient, i saw that in azula and pictures of this harry potter blond opponent of 3w4 and dont realized that till enneagram
Now i do my matura on second education way as adult and want the first who study in family
also recommendation "The instinctual drives and the enneagram", by John Luckovich. Its the book everyone needs. A lot of sexual self typed introverrs are social doms and sp lasts are sp doms.
For example when you see "health" or look about health and life energy or dont wanna be depressed... you are sp first. Self preservation is the life force energy and ground basis of all life and so the most needed one.
Its on the people and background and cognition, IQ, country, self development how healthy their sp instinct portrays. Normally healthy states means, you want it for yourself and others, so thats the reason why sp ones are also financial coaches for women or entrepreneurs, self starters... sp is "self growth, seeing own strenghs and ressources without others". Sure when buying low food, watching tv, obsess with shopping or things, nothing deeper can be suceed in life.
Sp ones like me dont smoke (i know my health and protect it), dont like superficial hook ups and to earn a good job and life to feel lively and so also a good energy around others.
No gluten, no milk, no brain fog, no unnessary things...