I truly believe that the weight we are feeling from motherhood is because we live in this western isolated society. We are not meant to raise kids alone. In all history of humankind, and still in many other parts of the world, we have shared the responsibility with other adults, other women. Many cultures have the "40 first days" where the mother and baby get pampered with food and massages and other people are there to rock and hold and sing to the baby. We have totally healthy reactions to an unhealthy society.
Then we need to get on board with supporting legislation that supports those who want to have children. Sorry but specifically white women, white women have historically voted against legislation that would support women and women of color.
Agreed. There need to be more ways to easily integrate children, living among a web of friends & neighbors. Who all look out for each other...it seems Impossible otherwise, to do it well & maintain yourself.
I agree, I live in africa and things are totally different here. For example, since I got pregnant I stopped working in the house, I got a maid that I pay 100$ per month. She does everything, I am just called when the food is ready. And when I will give birth, my mom will stay with me for 1 month, and the maid will live with us full time. I really feel like western women do it all by themselves without help and have to hold a full time job. This is not fair
I live in a country where families are still very close and if a baby is born in a family, the mother of the woman and mother-in-law usually (%90) helps. But unlike what you're thinking, the new moms in my country don't want anyone near them. Mostly because of what they say (rude comments etc) and they always try to teach like they know best. I'm not a mom but a few of my close friends recently gave birth. They say they're very happy because we're all isolated now due to the pandemic because no one visits and they can look after their baby themselves (mom and dad).
No. That is not true. Not ALL of us are thinking the same thing. There has never been a moment when I have not loved being a mom and I am an adult caretaker of a 28 year old autistic daughter. I have wanted to be a mom from an early age and love being one.
I had 5 kids, they are all grown,I love them all but I am still parenting 34 years later. I am financially, physically spiritually and emotionally exhausted.....it never ends. It’s ok to choose to not have kids.........
Do you think if you had less kids you’d be happier? I just had my 2nd child and I’m on the fence about whether to have another. My dream was always 4 kids but the reality of being a parent is very different from the dream. If I have more kids it’s for the kids, not for me. I had a 2nd child so my son could have a sibling. Your answer will help me decide on a very important decision. 😘
@@crazyhoe7924 More kids means you need to give yourself to more people. They will each need you in different ways. You have to think about the time you will have to designate to each child individually. Can you successfully give yourself to 4 people or 2 people?
I'm 4 months postpartum and literally yesterday I had a breakdown and looked at my partner and said, "I want my life back." Obviously, I love my daughter. I don't regret choosing to become a parent AND I'm sick of being home alone after 8pm every night while my partner works late. I miss having friends. I miss having alone time with my partner. I miss having time and energy for sex. I miss my body. I miss the time and freedom to workout and for self- care. I miss my confidence. I miss the way people related to me before I was a mom. I miss being able sleep in until 7:30am, yes thats sleeping in. I miss being able to work when I need to work - which in real estate, is like all the time while simultaneously I hate that I have to work instead of being able to just be with my daughter. I miss feeling like I'm on top of my shit. I miss the days when I could skip doing the dishes for a day but now the bottles must be cleaned daily. I could go on. We all could. If anyone says they love all things required to be a mom they are lying. This shit is hard and as much as I wanted this I have been rethinking my desire for a second child. I hear it gets easier, which I'm afraid will have me consider going through this hard early stage again. On another note, if you are reading this and not a mom yet but want to be one day... if you are in debt, get seriously motivated to get out of debt as fast as possible. Being a mom is stressful enough as it is - do yourself a favor and don't enter into parenthood with outstanding debts. If I didn't have debt I likely wouldn't be working in the same capacity that I am now. I will never get these moments back and I feel like I'm missing out on the best parts of being a mom while I struggle to stay on top of my work.
Lindsay Victory Hey. My kids are 12 and 19. I don’t think that it gets easier...it’s just that the demands on you change as your kids change. I will say, though, that the first year was definitely the worst year. I hope that you have a good day.
Lindsay Victory I relate to those 100%! I had a major breakdown yesterday while having to work and take care of my newborn that won’t stop feeding and crying and just cried to the point where I called my husband to come home and take care of me and the baby. I wish I can have the moments back when I didn’t have to work and enjoy my newborn. Thank you writing this! I know I’m not alone!
I feel so horrible because I resigned from my job to not send my baby to daycare but I feel like a nobody now. Then today I started crying just thinking about work and how I feel useless and said my kid ruined me 😭...I don't want to think like this but I miss being free and going out whenever also. I never thought I'd get pregnant because my husband and I have had unprotected sex for years and nothing ever happened. I would think if it happens it happens if not I think I'll be fine but it did happen. Lol...I love my baby but it's so tiring!!
I think in general it's annoying that people just say what they're supposed to instead of being honest and sincere. I think a little more honesty in the world would be nice, there's ways to be honest in a somewhat tactful way so you aren't offensive. I have always been annoyed with all the BS out in the world.
sandy casas EXACTLY dummies!! it sleeps more than half the day when first born and suppose to and will be up more as it gets older it’s so so ridiculous. THAN I would love for someone to explain to me why people ask me even now when my baby is 2 months old “does it sleep through the night” as if they are dieing for me to say no it dosent because they secretly don’t want to admit theirs dosent either. I wanna be like no u fool babies at this age REQUIRE TO BE FEED EVERY 2-3 hours. So therefore how can a baby sleep through the night when they need to wake up to eat???? If they didn’t that would be a major problem and also their diaper would be soiled and full of urine!!!!
There isn’t a difference. They’re saying I don’t like how motherhood has gotten in the way of my life. Motherhood is hard work and selfish feelings can’t be part of the equation. But it’s true that real mature adults can be caretakers. Very rare these days.
@@snapshot1386 I would say that the only time not liking motherhood and not liking your child are the same thing would be if those feelings resulted in you ignoring your child and putting yourself first rather then your child.
@@lordfreerealestate8302 That's because when you become a mom, you can't unbecome and most moms "just can imagine." I think it is great, there is so much to enjoy in life, other than kids. I sit here and watch my younger friends go through tremendous amounts of depression because they feel like they HAVE to become a parent, or own a house, or have a spouse by this age or whatever and it is not worth that feeling either. Enjoy your life and enjoy other people's babies!!
I have to say I am the one who loves being a mom and have always wanted to be. With that said I am glad you are able to say how you really feel. We need moms who support each other. We need both moms who enjoy it and those who don't so much. I wish we had more safe space to support other moms.
@@jaydapinkett7606 I enjoy when my kids tell me they love me. When I'm having a rough day and they tell me I'm the best mom in the world. To me that makes life all better. My kids smiles just melt my heart. I also am a nuturer by nature so I love taking care of people . so to me carding for my kids is the best part of my life. I love every day with my kids. On the flip side I can understand how someone can nor enjoy it. I don't enjoy every day. Some days are tough. For me though the good out weigh the bad. I am not judging you lot enjoyingmotherhood just saying what I enjoy about it.
Can you tell me how it is that you love not being able to do whatever you want whenever you want? I wanted to FOLD LAUNDRY that’s been sitting her there for almost a week and my baby kept getting into things she shouldn’t I couldn’t do both. I put the laundry back in the basket and just watched her instead. It’s so frustrating not being able to do basic things to maintain the damn house. Let alone maintain myself, self care. How do you deal with that.
That's so me, I always knew motherhood wasn't my thing even tho I adore babies, so been an auntie is the BEST thing in the world, she is the LOVE of my life and I help my sis as much as I can, but I enjoy my freedom and long sleep hours. ☺️
Silver Snow that is not a choice for some women who are independent and the sole provider only source of income. So, no, leaving a job isn’t always an option.
I'm so relieved that this issue is being talked about, I thought it was just me who felt this way, it's a really difficult thing to talk about because of the judgement that often comes with it, I love my children more than anything in the world but sometimes I feel like I can't do it, I just don't feel strong enough, if someone would have told me before I became a mum that this could be how I would feel I honestly would have changed my mind, like I said, I love my children and I want nothing but happiness and health for them but sometimes I just can't take it, it's not just the fact that it's the hardest thing I'm doing and probably will ever do but the overwhelming desire to keep them safe from the world is the hardest part, knowing that I have to let them go at some point and hope with everything in me that they will be ok.
These videos are educational for new Dads as well. I’ve been loving your videos and learning lots from them. How to be a better parent. A better father. And a more supportive husband no matter if my wife loves being a mom or doesn’t like it sometimes. So thank you for posting these. 😊
Couldn't agree more. Being a supportive father and husband for my wife and first time parents is harder than I ever thought it would be, but I still love my child and know it will be worth it.
I had 3 kids in 3 years and 4 months. I finished my PhD dissertation while pregnant with the second. The second child wouldn’t ever let me put her down without an ear piercing scream which made the oldest start howling. I call the first 4 years of motherhood the black years. I tried so hard to look like I was doing everything perfect for the benefit of society that I wasn’t putting quality energy into my kids. I was tired and anemic for YEARS. Now my kids are 16,15 and 13. They turned out great and I realize now, I’m just not a newborn, toddler person. I just don’t have the energy or patience for it. Now when I need sleep, I tell the kids to be quiet OR ELSE! Love it! It gets better! For those who think their teens are awful, I wonder if they were the ones trotting out their perfect newborns who never cried and slept through the night from the start. I was surrounded by those moms and felt like I was doing everything wrong. Now I KNOW I did everything the best I could under our circumstances. Far from perfect but they turned into great human beings.
OMG the black years, I love this!! I'm halfway through, waiting for it to end. Everyone keeps telling me I'll miss it, that it goes by so quickly but I, like you, don't have the patience for this stage. I often say if I could fast forward time two years, I would in a heartbeat.
I am there, have a 9 month old and also writing my Dissertation, have finally time to write at naps and at night, but it’s really hard to focus when you’re exhausted
I've been a mom for 12 years. In those 12 years the parties turn to acquaintances and acquaintances turn to no friends and the social isolation started and I'm about 4 years and it's complete social isolation and let me just tell you as a mom watching this thank you for saying that being a mom is so hard that you just dont like it. We sacrifice our whole selves to lose all of our relationships and our life suffers because of being a mom
I am almost 70. My first childcwas very sick and i was exausted. Had so much anger at my situation. My husband did not help. Things got better but wuth my lastvone told i will not have thus child unless you help me. Hon it does get better. My oldest died this past christmas at home. I miss him so much but it was soooo hard to get through thise years.i still feel guilt that i was not always a good mom. Love all three of my kids but being mom was not fun at all when they were little. I dudnot feel like a person but just a machine. My oldest was such a insprion to others and loved me even when i was so lacking.thought i was the inly one that felt this way.he never slept as a baby. 2 hour cat naps and awake fir 2 hrs.but god got me thriugh it
Let go of that guilt , you did all you was capable of at the time given each circumstance . It's okay to feel that wasn't good enough but trust me it was. We are all only human we have emotions , we struggle. You can't beat yourself up for it forever. Release it, forgive yourself and focus on all the parts that were positive and enjoy your life because your children would want that for you . Your son would want you to be happy. I'm sure he appreciated you more than you know . I'm so sorry for your loss , no parent should have to lose a child . X
@@bonnienash8585 thank you for saying thus. I know he never held a grudge or anything. Always loved me and my husband no matter what.a wonderful person. Trying hard to get on with life.jst wish i had one more hug.i tryed to let his last month be as good as pissable. He wanted to be home. So i called in hospice and let him pass the way he wanted.you are a very kind person.bless you
I'm sorry for your loss :( I bet back in the days it was even harder being a mom! Don't beat yourself up, no one is perfect, I'm sure your kids love you no matter what and your son is watching over you, he doesn't want to see you feeling guilty. God bless you !
@Ruby Vera because I follow her as a UA-camr so I watch her videos....because I watch a variety of content and like to hear from other people who live a life different from my own.
I love this... The women who never wanted to have a baby but ended up pregnant usually seemed more justified in saying this, but as a girl that always wanted babies since I was a toddler myself, throughout middle school, high school, and even college for some reason I idolized the idea of having babies and having a family. Once I gave birth to my daughter EVERYONE was saying “you got what you wanted” “you must be so happy” etc. and I just kept saying No. I am an independent person. I like to do things for myself and don’t really like relying on anybody. And babies are something that just CANNOT be done solo. Whether a significant other, mom, or friend you have to have someone help you in some way. To hold her so you can pee, or bring you food because you can’t leave, or watch her so you can work. I just hate feeling like I’m inconveniencing everyone for my decision, but there is no other way 😣Even during my pregnancy most women say they can’t wait to have the baby or their pregnancy was so long but I felt it was extremely short and kept saying she can stay in there. I just knew my freedom was out the door the moment she came, and dreaded that doctors wanted me to have her two weeks early, whereas most people are happy about meeting their little one earlier. I just can’t believe I feel like this when I have been thinking about it almost every day for as long as I can remember. Was I mislead? Was I misinformed? I feel so bad to feel this way, and when I complain my partner loves to tease that “you asked for this” “remember, you’ve been waiting your whole life for this” 🙄 It’s so hard 😭 My daughter is 5 weeks. I’m just crossing my fingers that this will be a little better in a few months when she’s more self-efficient .🤞🏽I hope I can eventually love my body again- it’s the things no one even told me would change that bother me the most.😫 & I had no cravings during pregnancy, but are postpartum cravings a thing? 🤨 I eat soo much chocolate now. My whole experience just seems opposite of what I was expecting or was told about. 😰 Anyway, thanks for prompting me to rant and get that off my chest 😆 Great video as always ❤️ Sending ‘Mommy Love’ your way!
This is me atm. I didn’t want to become a mom, and now I’m 19 and pregnant. Sometimes I just get so sad because nothing will ever be the same, and it’ll never just be about me.
Wow. Thank you for this. I’m having my first in January and while it was something I wanted for a while, I also very much value my independence. Having said that, I was a little worried that I would feel this way and I SO appreciate you being honest about this. I’m saving this video to look back on if I ever feel alone in motherhood. Sending you love. ❤️
I deliver my daughter in 13 days... I’ve always wanted to be pregnant. I’ve dreamed of it since I was 18. I’m currently 27. I think I’ll love motherhood. Pregnancy on the other hand has been absolutely miserable and I don’t ever want to do it again. I know people will say (and they do) “oh as soon as baby comes out you’ll want to do it again.” Yeah no I don’t like being miserable and suffering within my own body. It’s not very fun.
Jessica Michelle I was sick all day everyday until my son was born pregnancy was a nightmare and labor was identical to the labor scene in the movie look who’s talking. My son had sever acid reflux I kept telling the dr he kept calling me crazy my nursing baby screamed constantly in pain when he was 12 it was discovered his acid reflux destroyed his stomach a gastointeologist fixed it finally the stomach pain and crazy random vomiting stopped at age 12. In the 90s drs thought it was impossible to have acid reflux. I now hate the pediatric dr who wouldn’t listen to me. He is also the same dr that botched my son’s curcumsision and would not admit it even after a surgeon had to repair it. I now think the pediatrician was a sadist
I needed this I have a 9 week old baby as well, and I'm so exhausted, and emotional,and hungry all the time because of breast feeding, and I have been feeling a bit alone, but seeing this I feel more normal and not so alone and bad.
You got this momma! I had a rough start to motherhood and I remember being scared because of how much I didn’t like it, I was like oooo crap, but I do enjoy it more now. I feel like there’s really nothing that prepares us for it, we’re thrown into the most responsibility of our lives with no training and high hormones.
When you’re up at 3:30 in the morning, exhausted, frustrated, emotional, not sure if you’re doing it right, or can even do it at all, just know that there are literally millions of women up with you feeling the same way. You are not alone❤️
Thank you for validating all my reasons I’m not having kids. I don’t mean that in a mean way, I think moms are so cool and so important and I’m constantly in awe of moms. Maybe I’ll change my mind, but I doubt it. I just don’t think I have it in me to be a mom, and that’s okay too. But big props to those who can, I literally do not understand how you do it.
motherhood def was a hard transition for me also. The first months were so rough, sleep deprivation, clusterfeeding on my boob, waking up in the night every hour, having to walk AND nurse her to sleep on my boob, no nap consistencies, short naps or no naps... But then it gradually got better, and then she becomes more of a person and now she is consistent in napping and sleeping. And I still dont love being a mom, but I love her and do my best for her every day. i do love it sometimes but other times its just hard having this huge responsibility 24/7 and being all day with a baby you have to entertain for hours.
Yeah but you knew what you were getting yourself into.. like, you can’t have best of both worlds. It’s called being a grown up and be responsible for your actions and decisions. I think many women had kids just for the sake of social pressuring into having them, and because we just think that being parents makes our lives meaningful, but that’s not the case. We give our lives meaning, whether we have kids or don’tz
That’s like having a dog and complaining you have to clean after him and pick up his shit. That’s just my opinion though. Many things are really hard in life, but if you really want something you will push through the bad things too, maybe enjoying them too. 🤔
@@samantarizzi248 Girl be quiet just like working can get exhausting so do motherhood especially if you don't get no break in between. It don't have nothing to do with being responsible and being a grown up.
For every new mother who feels exhausted and overwhelmed, don't worry, it will get easier. My boy is now a bit over four months and yes, it's still a lot of work, but the nights are better already and those first crazy weeks already seem to be so far in the past. You've got this. 💚
Hate when ppl say it will get easier Years seem like centuries when your waiting for it to get easier can’t enjoy life cuz your waiting for it to get easier n get depressed
My boy is 22months but still I'm having sleepless nights and more exhausted then before 😫 I love him more than anything in this world but some times when i'm super tired and he doesn't sleep till late night, I hate him and tell my self many times. In real i can't live without him. I'm single mom with out parents so its really tought but i love him 💖
@@sabrinasapana9061 Hey. It is hard work indeed. I’m a single mother too. My son usually wakes two times during the night. He goes back to sleep quickly though, so I am nowhere near as tired as before. Wishing you a lot of love for you and your little one. Better nights will come. 💚
I feel the same, my daughter is 7 weeks old. Honestly, i didnt feel i could share these feelings with anyone because it seems all the other moms feel the opposite.
I decided to never have kids because it's a huge commitment and you can never quit this job ever. I just knew I didn't have the temperament. Women need to realize that motherhood is hard and can be very lonely. I saw my friends struggle. It takes a certain fortitude. Hats off to you for being honest. Motherhood is not a Hallmark card.
Yes, yes, yes! That's my decision too. People should think about all aspects of it BEFORE making babies. You can also live happily ever after life with travels, hobbies and animals and NO children. Just think about this option. Motherhood is not for everyone and I really do not see the point in sacrifising.
I’m only 6 weeks pregnant at 36. And I’m scared that I won’t like being a mom too...especially because up until now, I always felt that I didn’t want kids. All of that changed the moment I became pregnant! This pregnancy is both a miracle and a blessing and I’m terrified that something will happen to my lil’ bean. Trying to take it day by day and doing the best I can to be healthy, take care of myself and bring this baby to full term! I’m glad I found this channel.
Omg! I literally just told my husband last night “I don’t wana take care of our baby anymore and I don’t wana be a mom” 🤦🏽♀️ I was so serious at the time but then I felt SO bad! I just started my a channel and I think I want to make a video like this 😬. Mine will probably not be as funny 😂 but I feel like I need to because I love my baby but I HATE being a mom! 😒
I told my husband you will be changing every single diaper if we have kids because I would only be having them for him, he claims he doesn’t mind the idea of waking up all the time and doing all of the work, I don’t know how 🤷🏽♀️I don’t think he’s ever had to watch a baby for more then an hour… that sh*t is hard!!! Props to you!
Honestly, my highest level of RESPECT and admiration goes out to all of you Moms:-)......I am child-free by choice ONLY BECAUSE I had to babysit once for a college roommate of mine once while she went on a "date night" w/Baby Daddy and I nearly blew my head off after about 6 hours of babysitting. The fact that you literally "give up your life" to care for another life was just too "consuming" for me. I honestly do not know how Moms out there are pulling this off so for sure you guys must be AWESOMELY GIFTED and SPECTACULAR! women:-) Thank you for making this enlightening video:-)
Motherhood requires making a lot of sacrifices and makes you wake up early. It involves doing a lot of things we don't want to do. The truth is it takes a lot out of a person, emotionally, mentally and physically! That being said, the love a mother feels for their children is almost overwhelming sometimes and the children are an infinite amount of joy and love.
Sometimes I think "I wish I didn't have kids" so I could do all the fun stuff but then I remember I didn't do those things before kids and now I only have a couple friends and they have kids so there's no pressure to do things that aren't kid friendly. I have always wanted to have kids, even if just adopted but I will say it is so much harder than I expected.
I was just like this when i had muy first child. I felt drowning and that i didnt have an identity. now my son is 6 and my daughter is 4 and i enjoy motherhood soo much!! it will get better. babies are not easy
I thought I wanted three and then it was two and now I’m happy with my one. I love my son he’s two and a half but I loved my independence as well and being a mom isn’t for everyone. I think i was made to be a momma of one ☝️
And that's ok! Im a mom of one. He just turned eighteen. It's been a perfect number for me. Don't let people make you feel like you need half a dozen kids or something is wrong with you. My one kid is awesome and happy as are we!! :)
Aubrey Odom my son was 5 when we decided for a second because I always wanted a girl and Second was a girl. Before I always thought I want 3 kids but now I am good with my 2 kids. Having kids is so much work.
Aubrey Odom I’m the same I wanted a mum of 2!! And I’ve being struggling with pnd ... and I always wanted be a mumma and there days I don’t like being a mum my boy 15 months! He such a gorgeous bub... I’m sticking to one too! 🙂
There is so much guilt directed towards those who choose to have only one -- the main thing I've heard is that you "owe it" to your first child to give them a sibling, and it's just not true! I wish this belief could be dispelled! I understand that siblings can provide many opportunities to develop crucial social skills, but I don't believe a sibling is the only person who they can practice this with. And then there is the concern of loneliness, but I firmly believe that with enough intentional nurturing and providing enough companionship opportunities through various social groups (formal and informal), all of these developmental milestones can be properly navigated and result in a very well-balanced person who is able to conduct themself kindly and confidently in society. My husband and I are going to make the decision as we go, deciding how many and how often to have children. Each child (person) is different and there is no reason to assume that they NEED a sibling in order to properly develop. Another factor for me (that may not apply to everyone's situation) is that I have 4 siblings myself and we all live within 10-20 minutes of one another and plan to continue as such. Two of them already each have one child, and we plan to make sure they all get plenty of cousin time, which can be very similar to sibling relationships in many ways! This doesn't even have to be about family. Just be sure that the child gets a reasonable amount of socialization with others and don't worry too much about creating a "perfect" social scenario because that doesn't exist. I hope these thoughts I'm sharing will help give others confidence to follow your instinct on how many or how few children you ought to have (even if that means none at all). ❤️
Im 34, pregnant with my first child. I waited on purpose later in my life to have a child because i always knew I would love my kid but not love been a mom. I know i will not enjoy the job often lol I think there's nothing wrong with that. Thanks for your honesty xo
Gawd this is so true, I had my first daughter at 16!!! It happened I sucked it up decided that if i was old enough to be active that i was old enough to handle motherhood. I am now 25 with 3 girls spaced 5 years apart and happily married. I'm finishing up a college degree with a 8 month old with a pandemic+homeschooling and I'm just on the edge. Thank you for staying positive throughout the whole video, I needed to hear everything.
I’m a new mom as of two weeks ago and I am feeling this so hard right now! I love how positive your videos are but also how honest they are. They truly make me feel like I’m not alone and I can’t thank you enough for that!
Thank you for your honesty. I felt like this for years and my daughter is almost 4. I pursued all my degrees and wanted to be a successfully career woman, but I became a single mom. I did finish graduate school, but these jobs are merciless when your kid gets sick and you have to leave work to go get them. I’m always tired and unmotivated. I thought I was the only one going through this.
I’m so scared. I am worried I’ll regret it if I have kids and I’m scared to have kids. It‘s invasive, it could kill me, and I will be tired trying to raise a human - it terrifies me.
@ overpopulation is a myth. www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=m.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3D2tFTMVTafRg&ved=2ahUKEwiLlr3Ek_rmAhXcQEEAHaYzAIwQt9IBMAt6BAgJECU&usg=AOvVaw0yaVpoSx4C6n50HJDMYU2V
I cannot thank you ENOUGH for this. Currently 25yo, due in January, and was told I’d never get pregnant. Surprise surprise, we got pregnant in April! We are so thankful for the opportunity and that it was even possible as we let go of that dream years ago, but we also grieved and moved on and made new goals. I’m struggling with feelings bad for feeling the same. I am sure I will LOVE my child, but I don’t have a heart for motherhood, all the mommy things and events, the tiredness, etc. I love our life as just us two, and we are so thankful to have gotten pregnant and we are excited, but it is also going to be a huge adjustment and I will probably grieve our old life a little bit too and thats okay.
I don't know why this got in my recommended but considering I can barely take care of myself, I will always be childless. I made this decision when I entered high school and the thought still hasn't changed 15 years later. I'm so glad I'm still not a mother.
I so needed this video. Right now I am 8 months pregnant and nanny a 4 month old and a two year old, and some days it is so so hard to enjoy or let alone get excited about having my own kids. This seriously helped me so much.
I never wanted to be a Mom. I actually despised the idea. I met my partner and I kinda went "baby crazy" and now I'm 32 weeks pregnant. Thank you for this video. I've been very worried about having depression after giving birth.
melmelmog it's even worse having it during which is my current experience at 29 weeks. It's like its unexplainable. I didn't have this issue pre-pregnancy.
melmelmog Yes I'm referring to depression. But there are different sub categories to depression. During pregnancy it's a different type of depression versus not being pregnant and having it.
I’m not pregnant, nor do I have children but this exact thing is why I’m terrified to have children. But I also want children. Makes 0 sense. I know. I’m sorry. But 100% don’t think I could do it. But then on the other hand... I 100% feel like I could do it. 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃
Makes perfect sense. I want to be a mom and I feel like I would be a wonderful mother, but I also feel like I would really dislike being a mother. I feel like I would dislike being tired and not having my husband all to myself and I would dislike not being able to focus on myself and sleep when I want.
That's such a great way to describe it actually lol. I feel the same. I'm 27, married and I literally just found out today that our best friends are 4 weeks pregnant (so exciting!) so I've been really doing some serious thinking about whether I want to have kids. We really want to but also, I am under no illusions that having kids means anything other than devoting the entire rest of my life to them so it's a big deal and so scary and also sounds kind of awful in a lot of ways lol. Especially since I can barely take care of myself as it is! It's a really hard decision. I don't think it'll happen for us for at least a couple more years though, no matter how much our friends' pregnancy makes my mother-in-law even more persistent lol!
Laura Pardy i am preggo with baby #3 and never intended on having more than one. Life was so easy with just one. He would go to his his grammas once and a while for a night and my husband and I could go out and have date time and alone time. It was just so easy for me and I loved it more than anything. But then after having my second, it’s been so hard. My son still goes to his grammas every now and again but not my daughter. So she’s with me 24/7. When she’s older maybe she will go too but it doesn’t matter cause I’m preggo again and even if gramma keeps 2 at a time she will never keep all 3 at the same time which means I will ALWAYS have at least one child at all times so I’ll never ever get a break and never get a date night with my man. It’s hard. It’s exhausting. And it isn’t always fun or enjoyable. But I will say I love my kids more than life it’s self and the good times, the bond we have is more special and precious than anything and if I never became a mom I would regret it on my death bed. I’d always have felt like a part of me was missing becusss it was never born. But I will never regret having my babies.
Having support is crucial. I'm single mother now, with autistic child, no family whatsoever, so it's hard and I never imagined it that way when I was planning pregnancy
I've got 2 babies, a 2 year old and a newborn, I feel the same, I'm going through ppd and as a single mother, with no car, no job, living with my parents out of an abusive relationship, I'm just in pain, I'm tired, I want to give my toddler more attention. Just thank you so much for this I've cried for hours every night until my eyes swell up im crying now just realizing my mom will be home to help this weekend ❤❤❤
This was PERFECT timing. I've always thought I wanted 10 kids, but going on 3 weeks into motherhood, I'm DYING. It's always great to have that reminder that motherhood isn't easy, but it's worthwhile. My new mantra as I go into the next night of very little sleep
I'm due in 9 weeks. And this has been a fear that had kept me up at night! I've fretted over the fact of, "What if I can't handle it? What if I don't like it and I wasn't ready?" This helps and will help me in the future to know that if I feel this way I'm not alone!! 💙💙💙 thank you for everything you do
I have been fretting this too. I’m due in December and that’s a busy time of year of course, that might be adding to the thought but I’m so scared that it will last past the holidays.
I respect you for saying what you think. My babygirl is one year old and.. I really DO love it? I mean of course I would like to sleep more, but waking up every day to that smiley face makes my mornings so much better than back in the day without her when I DID sleep through the night. And being on this mom timer because of bottles, diapers etc.. it made me a better person! I was soo unorganized and umotivated before and if babygirl was not there to keep me on my feet I would not value my free hours half as much as I do now! I am now actually using my time to create things. But I still get why other moms feel the way you do. I appreciate your honesty.
Thank you for your honesty! I'm pregnant and it irritates me to hear people say, "You will not remember how your life was before you had your child" in such a positive way. I am very happy to be pregnant and want to be a mother, but I know that postpartum depression is a very real thing and I want to prepare myself to cope with my own emotions realistically. I appreciate how you seemed to acknowledge a perfectly acceptable gray area in parenting-- you can dislike parts of motherhood AND be a good mother at the same time.
I’m 3 weeks away from being a first time mom and this came to me just when I needed it, now my heart feels a little more at ease❤️ thank you so much for putting yourself out there and being vulnerable so new moms like me don’t feel so alone!
Congratulations! You must be just about to give birth if you haven't already. Such a precious time to be going through. There are plenty of places to get help as a new mother - this channel is a great one. (And Dunstan Baby is too!)
Thanks so much for making this. It’s not something most women talk about but it’s something that many of us feel and feel guilty about it. It’s good to know you’re not alone.
I needed this. Watched with my 7 week old strapped to me in a carrier cause I can’t put him down. I constantly feel guilt that I’m not making the most of every moment and wishing he was older. It’s just so.dam.hard. I wasn’t expecting it to be this way and it’s refreshing to hear I’m not alone. Thank you 💕
Alice and Rachel’s Angel Forever 😑😑😑😑 mom shaming at its finest. This is not a helpful comment. She is an overwhelmed new mom, learning things on step at a time. Also, I’m not sure if you’re aware, but every baby is different, you have no idea what may be going on with her baby to make it harder to deal with. My baby had colic and it was a nightmare, you clearly haven’t went through that. Shame on you for telling her to get a grip. As a woman be supportive and encouraging, not the 12 year old bully we already had in grade school 🙄
Alice and Rachel’s Angel Forever Lol that is not true at all. My daughters colic lasted for 3 months and you have no clue how hard that is 24/7. She also has torticollis and acid reflux. If you knew how hard those things are you would not be typing non sense that you don’t know anything about. You know NO ONES circumstances but your own. Please stop being annoying, rude, and judgemental. You have no clue what you’re talking about 😂
Ohhhhhh damnnn Lucky you!!! I can't even wear the carrier because it destroyed my belly totally:/ so he's either in my arms or stroller n I hate to walk around without a place to go to n I'm running outta places to go to then I get depressed I mope in da house a couple days stressing him out too so he cry more often n I be more stressed....etc endless circle....
Currently 13 weeks and I'm not filled with joy thinking about my pregnancy. Don't get me wrong we tried for 2 years and I even had a chemical pregnancy before. But all i feel this time is fear and I just want to get over with the being pregnant part. And I'm not even sure when the baby finally is born healthy, if I'm able to feel that joy and happiness that I wish to feel now. When you showed your daughter asking you how your day was, I bursted out into tears because I thought about this little thing inside my belly maybe will talk to me one day 😭😭
I’m not a mom yet and don’t plan too be one anytime soon, but I absolutely love your channel and the message you send❤️ thanks for willing to be so vulnerable to us and sharing your faith! “Vulnerability is our most accurate measurement of courage.” I pray God keeps shinning His light through you(:
Thank you so much!! Thank you for following along! Haha one of these days I'll make videos about other stuff again but my life is alllllll kids right now so that's what my videos are about!!
I’m 22 and currently 23 weeks pregnant. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 8 years and we’ve known we’ve wanted kids and my baby was semi planned. I got off birth control and we just kind of let it happen. I was still shocked and terrified when it happened but, we’re so excited. it’s so hard being the first friend in the group having a baby. I feel so left out of things sometimes.this really helped hearing this because I thought I was a bad mom for thinking this.
I’m 19 and 22 weeks pregnant and I relate to you so much! We didn’t admit that we were trying, but we were being careless, thinking having a baby would be somewhat fun lol I am not having too much fun and she’s not even here yet. But I never knew I could love an unborn human being more than I do at this moment! And the love will only get stronger ❤️ I’ll remind myself to not feel guilty when the burdens of motherhood come around.
Thank you so much for this. I have a 10 week old and it’s been hard. I’ve always wanted to be a mom but now that I am one I’ve found myself not liking it. I feel really guilty about having these feelings but knowing that there are other moms out there that feel the same way makes me feel a little better especially hearing the things that makes being a mom worth it. So thank you !
Thank you for this. I'm a new mum and I've been going through bad anxiety / depression. Just starting to seek help. It's so easy to compare ourselves to others. I feel less alone now! And I will remember the 10 awesome things 😍 much love xx
I am soooooooo glaaaaaaaaaaaaad I stumbled upon this video. I feel so distressed when I feel this, or think this.. this is comforting knowing I’m not alone.. I didn’t have anyone to talk to about this, and I could find few blogs or vlogs talking about this... thank you for sharing. We do need each other. We are not all the same.
Thank you for posting this video. I just had my first baby 5 weeks ago and I absolutely love her so much,but I definitely miss my old life sometimes when things get rough... I do not regret having my little girl but i find myself often wishing for my old lifestyle where nobody depended on me so much ,where I can shower however long I want eat whatever and wherever I want go out whenever I want come back whenever I want. But everytime i look at my daughter I feel like shit for thinking such awful thoughts because she's so perfect and did nothing to deserve such a terrible mother. I'm 22 and I feel like maybe I'm missing out of life but God plans your life for you. I'm trying to get rid of such thoughts and enjoy every minute of being her mommy and watching her grow. Thank you for making me feel not so alone. And not crazy.♥️
I so get it! I have felt that too! Don't worry life gets a lot easier as she gets more independent! Just do what you can to enjoy this season right now & don't be so hard on yourself! Congratulations on your beautiful daughter. Being a young mom is awesome. You won't regret it later!!
You’re definitely not a terrible mother - you sound like you care so much! You’re just human and it’s so much tougher than people say. All the best and sending you the best wishes.
You’re not missing out on life! You’re creating a new and different kind of life. Hard and maybe sucks a bit for now, but think of all the joys your childless friends are missing out on right now by not having kids like you 🤗 hang in there and join a MOPS group so you can enjoy “life” as you have it in this stage. Surrounding yourself in person with other women in the same stage will help immensely!!
This is so refreshing. When I had my 2 daughters when I was 20 and 22 I loved it... But when my youngest daughter got in with the wrong crowd and substances I became mom to my grandson who was brand new. I was 45 I love him to death but being able to cope was so hard. I had to take him to a babysitter for 6-8 hours once he was 9 months old until he was almost 2. I didn't work but I just needed me time during that hard stage. He's now 5 and I love it and wouldn't trade it for anything. I didn't dare say anything to anyone other then my babysitter who is a close friend I thought people would think I was selfish. I just needed time to adjust to being a mom to a baby again after being an empty nester for 7 yrs. Yeah my husband and I have to put off some off the plans we had planned But we have the son we always wanted and he's is loved and happy and healthy
I am a 39 year old mother of 4 kiddos. 14,12 special needs, 7, 2. I loved being a mom and then my fourth was a complete surprise and broke me. I was physically and emotionally done having children. I cried straight for months after I found out. I was just completely drained and exhausted. I couldn’t imagine starting over. Then he came and I loved him the minute I seen him. Pure perfection. Yes I do have my moments where I feel broken and I just want to run as far away as I can get. I’m dealing with a toddler and at the same time a moody teenager. Ohhhh boy. Then handling my special needs son and then my daughter who feels she’s not getting enough attention. There are days I cry alone and then days I just stare at them with love and amazement. Being a mom is hard really hard but I do love my kids. Don’t get me wrong. But it’s ok some days to not like being a mom. Thanks for sharing. You said everything we are all feeling. Much love.
Wow, I just made up my mind that I would like nothing more than to be a mom and then I see this video on my feed. I still long for the experience. Thanks for sharing! 🌻
My baby is 3 weeks(my first) and Omg I relate to this so so well thank you for posting this!!! It’s funny I was listening to Elton John’s Rocketman a couple days ago and it brought me to tears because I totally resonate with the message, I feel like I’m on a different planet and I’ve left my life behind! And it’s really hard to explain this feeling to people that don’t understand it because it makes me feel like I’m not good enough or I’m not feeling the way I should be feeling. But it’s so common to have these emotionsAnd my heart goes out to all the women who are experiencing it, we have to stick together ladies! Support is absolutely everything during this period!
I am 30 weeks pregnant today and I’m honestly hating my pregnancy, this was something I needed to hear that genuinely makes things so much easier and worth it. ❤️
I'm 24 weeks and I REALLLLLYYYYY don't like being pregnant! I had 1 doctor who wanted to constantly admit me for a "psych eval" for the feelings I shared. I told her I don't like being pregnant, what if I'm not a good mom since I don't like pregnancy. I felt so anxious and emotional but never thought to hurt my baby.. I finally switched doctors and my current doctor said "No one enjoys it, it's not bad that we don't enjoy not feeling ourselves. No one enjoys nausea, being tired" If we could talk more about our feelings without repercussions, ultimately the world would be so much better! My auntie said "you're the person who hates pregnancy but will adore your kid so much" I hope that's the case for you too girl. You've made it this far ❤
I’m 35 weeks and I’m so miserable. I miss not being pregnant - I miss being able to go out with my bf to eat or the mall or the movies wherever and just spend time with him. At this point I’m so uncomfortable and I already told him I don’t want any kids after this (he also has another kid who I love so much) but after this one I’m so done. I know once I see her little face we’re gonna be so in love but I know that’s not going to make me want to do it all over again. I don’t think the symptoms are worth it.
Devin Tidmore u I'm not pregnant, but I was given a *huge* reality check. My lungs are leaking fluid so they inserted two tubes inside me. It's so frustrating! Like I can't comfortably sleep on my side, it's an adventure to bend down, I kind of have to waddle when I walk, and my weight (before a majority of the fluid was drained) probably increased by ten poinds. I give you ladies so much credit! I could never see myself pregnant.
I'm 28 weeks pregnant and ugh. like, even though I feel like I'm getting it pretty well since I haven't had any nightmarish symptoms, I am also getting sick of it. sitting is annoying. standing is annoying. laying down is annoying. the most annoying of all is switching from one position to another, I feel like a bowling ball with tiny legs and arms, trying not to topple over. also I do one little chore and I'm dead tired. it's boring and annoying.
Never ever wanted kids n at 41 I just found out I’m pregnant. I truly am terrified, absolutely believe I’m going to HATE being a mom, I’m a selfish person that dreads giving up my life for this child. This video is EXACTLY what I desperately needed to see right now! I can’t explain the gigantic weight I felt lift off of me. I know you’ll probably never see this comment but THANK YOU so much for your honesty n making me feel like I’m not alone. Your list of reasons for motherhood being awesome has really changed how I’m feeling n now I’m almost looking forward to this new journey 💜
I hope you respond. I am 36 and I was the same as you. I am a New Yorker, jet setter, me me kind of woman. I hate kids and have no patience ... yet I got pregnant ! I am very very concerned I will hate being a mother. I am also very concerned I will be trapped forever. How are you feeling now ???
@@neuroticgypsy I am afraid of being a mother too. I NEED sleep and alone time. Terrified. Just wanna let you know, you have options. If you’re still in first trimester it’s relatively easy to get an abortion (go with surgical, not medical, trust me). You can also adopt out! Better option if you’re further along. You can do open or closed adoptions and choose the parents. Newborns are pretty easy to adopt out and if you contact an agency BEFORE giving birth, many times they cover all the pregnancy visits and birth and everything financially. Plus, you give a family a child. Pretty cool. Last option is of course keeping. I’m choosing to keep even though I’m terrified. Like, panicking every single day and sobbing, terrified. If you’re gonna keep, heavily suggest to get weekly therapy. Preferably from someone versed in maternal care and pre and post partum issues. Take good care of yourself. See a chiropractor, prenatal massage, prenatal yoga. Look for things to be excited about. -- ahh shoot I just realized your comment is from a year ago. 😂 I suppose I should ask you how it went for you? I’m 25 weeks pregnant at the moment 😂 Everything I just said doesn’t really matter now but I’m gonna leave it up in case another pregnant scared lady sees it.
I had my beautiful son on 9/23/21 via c -section. I had a miserable pregnancy, but an amazing post partum! I LOVE SON soooo much and being a mother can be rough for sure, but I wouldn’t go back to my old life if given the chance. He was worth everything and a healthy 10 month old now climbing and standing and laughing and loving life!
@@ninifire4282 lol there are tons of stories of moms being miserable and feeling disconnected with their newborn. Don't let one happy story influence you.
I'm pregnant with my first baby and I am terrified. This helps me understand that there's ups and downs. I appreciate how you explain how hard but wonderful and rewarding motherhood can be. This made my day. Thank you.
Annnnd subscribed. I could have used this channel a year ago. I found out I was pregnant with twins, right when I started my business. Everyone asked "so, when are you going to stop working?" which I found confusing because I love what I do and didn't intend to stop. My twins are 17 months old, and I'm still running my business, and loving it, and honestly resonate with everything you said in this video. I fantasized about making a video like this for a long time, and never did. You friggen rock.
I’m only 19 and just found out yesterday that I’m pregnant. Father is not in the picture. I never imagined myself having children and now I am. I’m so scared bc I haven’t even lived my life and I feel like my fun years are getting ripped from my hands.
Hey, i just read your comment and im also 19. I dont know your thoughts about pregnancy and motherhood and things related but you have your choice not to carry the baby before he/she gets bigger. If you dont think you can not do this, you dont have to, abortion is an option too. Whatever your choice is it, i support you ❤️🙏🏻 take care
I needed this video - I needed someone to say out loud what I have been afraid to feel. I am excited and terrified to become a mom because I am scared I wont' love it - or be good at it. I appreciate you; we appreciate you. Thank you
Also enjoyed this. Baby is 7 weeks, and I'm losing my mind. A couple days ago for the first time I thought, "I don't like my baby, I don't want to be a mom." I know it'll get better, but to know others feel the same is comforting. I wish we could be friends lol. Where do you live btw?
Your feelings are valid , consider asking people around you for help so you can have a bath and take a few hours to yourself. Being exhausted is no good for anyone. Take some you time . Being a mum is hard on us emotionally as well as being physically demanding. It can be a very isolating experience . Getting out is no longer a simple task . Talking and being around other people really does help x
I really appreciate you talking about the "schedule" aspect of early motherhood. For me this has been really hard on my mental health. Living my life in increments of 2-3 hours is disorienting and makes me always feel as if I'm behind. My baby has terrible gas and so his wake windows are all screwed up because he will get gas and just cry and not sleep for hours. I had no idea it would be like this - I genuinely didn't understand why new moms struggle to find time to shower and do basic stuff and naively thought I'd do better lol! It is SO HARD and there are times I hate it too. But my little guy is my favorite person and he just started social smiling so my heart explodes several times a day.
Not a Mum, but I’ve had this discussion so often with friends who are over the years. Of course, everyone loves their kids, but there is still a real stigma about saying “I love them, but if I could turn back the clock, I wouldn’t do it again.” As long as your kids NEVER hear or know that, and feel greatly loved, there should be a safe space to be honest about that, find or bring support to others’ In the same position, and most importantly, EDUCATE women before children so they can really know that 100% they’re making the right decision. For those who can’t turn back the clock, this is a really great, uplifting video, and for all the mums out there doing it tough, consistently remind yourself of what an awesome job you’re doing 👏🙌 Jessica, it’s been 4 years since you made this. How are you now? 💡 Video idea: “The clock is ticking, how do I know I most likely won’t enjoy motherhood?” (Or more so, hate it to the point it might psychologically become an issue eg depression). Thanks!
I'm 12 weeks pregnant and I've wanted to be a mum since I was a child... I'm 28 but I was so sure I'd end up pregnant at 18 😂 I'm so excited for this baby but I'm terrified that after wanting this for so long I'm going to hate it... Knowing that I might not love being a mum but of course I will love my baby is a nice way of looking at it. Thanks Mamma x
I get it! I dont think i could say that i dont lile being a mom, but i will say i dont like toddler temper tantrums or when babies who cant talk cry and i cant figure out the issue. I love you ❤️ This is ok!
I'm 19 and pregnant with a baby boy. In also single. I left the baby's dad on my own terms because of issues that I did not want to bring into bub's life. I'm looking to your videos for helpful tips and positivity! You're so positive and seem to have the mama thing down to a pat! You're doing great 💖
Hi Heather! congrats! I just want to say that I am happy for you! While it can be so, so hard (and really, by hard, i mean tiring) being a mom (single or no) dont ever let anyone make you think you can't do what needs to be done for your child because of your age. I wish I had known that. God bless!
Oh wow:))) I also had my son at 19 and left his dad when I found out for many reasons. Its mega tough at first. dont put too much pressure on yourself to be perfect youl eventually grow into motherhood it took me a few years. Best of luck xx
I don’t think you understand how important your type of content is in today’s world. The honesty and transparency you offer has got to be so comforting to vulnerable soon-to-be-moms who are only surrounded by social media influencer moms. I’ve seen a few videos of yours and the pure honesty and authenticity is such a special gift to the world.
I have found that the best things in life are also the hardest. The amount of pain and anguish you feel with motherhood is also how much joy you will feel from it. Not every day of course, but throughout the course of your life. I often tell my husband, "kids are the best! And the worst". He gets it. And we would never choose a life without them. Truly.
Thank you so much for this, I am 17 weeks pregnant and I can not wait to meet my baby, but pregnancy has been so difficult and I see other pregnant women look so happy and it makes me feel “crazy!” It makes me feel guilty for complaining about not getting enough sleep or throwing up all the time because I know pregnancy is a gift that not everyone can experience and I know I am very lucky to be having a healthy pregnancy, but that doesn’t change that it is hard, and I know it is going to be hard. But thank you for making this video I really needed it!
You’ll get through this mama!❤️ I was so sick through a lot of my pregnancy (currently 32 weeks) yes, there are days when you feel like you can’t get through an hour much less the day....but then one day you’ll realize you can eat a meal, or you feel that tiny kick for the first time, you see your belly grow and are reminded of the little life inside you❤️ you will get through this and you’ll know baby is worth every moment!
I felt the same with my first son and wondered how there are so many people on earth because it's so hard being pregnant (For a lot of us)! But you forget the hardship once they are here and then you might even think it's a good idea to have another! I'm 14 weeks with our third. Kids are hard and frustrating but they are the sweetest most amazing little things ever. Nothing can make your want to pull your hair out and melt your heart at the same time like a child your grew and birthed. Hang in there, you'll get past this hard time and pass right into another! Each hardship has equal blessings and it's so worth it. Focus on the good and it really will uplift you.. that's my goal each day : )
I needed this video. So bad. I gave birth to a gorgeous girl three weeks ago, and sometimes I cry because I miss my life before her. My hobbies includes spending hours in the garage, going to car meets, and driving. I can’t do that now. I can’t spend 6 hours in the garage. I can’t drive around for an entire night. I can’t play my music so loud it annoys an entire neighborhood. But I love my daughter, she’s the light of my life. But damn, I miss my life before her.
I needed this video so much. I don’t have my “village” from my family and don’t get very many breaks so to speak and I have to remember how strong I am. Us moms are incredible even when we couldn’t feel farther from it. Making mom friends has been a life saver. It’s so good to know you aren’t alone. Being a care taker is hard when you don’t feel cared about too. I had really bad postpartum depression and didn’t want to be alive so I’m proud of myself for waking up everyday and taking good care of my son. ❤️
I want to reach through this screen and hug you. Thank you for being so raw and real about this. I’m 6 weeks postpartum with my first, and boy it’s been a lot. It’s harder than I ever could have imagined. I hate when people ask me how motherhood is...I feel like I need to give this flowery answer about how magical it is, but it’s not at all. It’s freaking hard. I love my little boy so incredibly much, but some days I miss the old me. No task is a simple task anymore. A fussy baby makes every activity a big ordeal. I know it will get easier (and harder at the same time🤣🙈) but I need to hear this. I needed to know it’s ok not to love every moment of this journey. You have such a beautiful spirit. Keep shining girl. Thank you for giving us other mamas out there hope and encouragement. 💙
I honestly never have had the feeling of wanting my life back before being a mom or hated being a mom. My husband and I both feel like being parents just added to our lives and rarely do date nights because we would rather have time as a family. One of the biggest things that helped me was the app wonder weeks (it helps explain infant behavior during the various stages) and my husband and I being very schedule orientated and home bodies before being parents. Yes the schedule changed but it helped already being use to scheduled life.
I truly believe that the weight we are feeling from motherhood is because we live in this western isolated society. We are not meant to raise kids alone. In all history of humankind, and still in many other parts of the world, we have shared the responsibility with other adults, other women. Many cultures have the "40 first days" where the mother and baby get pampered with food and massages and other people are there to rock and hold and sing to the baby. We have totally healthy reactions to an unhealthy society.
Then we need to get on board with supporting legislation that supports those who want to have children. Sorry but specifically white women, white women have historically voted against legislation that would support women and women of color.
Agreed. There need to be more ways to easily integrate children, living among a web of friends & neighbors. Who all look out for each other...it seems Impossible otherwise, to do it well & maintain yourself.
I agree, I live in africa and things are totally different here. For example, since I got pregnant I stopped working in the house, I got a maid that I pay 100$ per month. She does everything, I am just called when the food is ready. And when I will give birth, my mom will stay with me for 1 month, and the maid will live with us full time. I really feel like western women do it all by themselves without help and have to hold a full time job. This is not fair
I live in a country where families are still very close and if a baby is born in a family, the mother of the woman and mother-in-law usually (%90) helps. But unlike what you're thinking, the new moms in my country don't want anyone near them. Mostly because of what they say (rude comments etc) and they always try to teach like they know best. I'm not a mom but a few of my close friends recently gave birth. They say they're very happy because we're all isolated now due to the pandemic because no one visits and they can look after their baby themselves (mom and dad).
It's a lot like this in India.
You said the thing no one is supposed to say, but what we are all thinking. This video is dead accurate. Thank you.
I wonder if she's discovered the ScaryMommy website yet. There's a whole world of mothers who can relate to this.
No. That is not true. Not ALL of us are thinking the same thing. There has never been a moment when I have not loved being a mom and I am an adult caretaker of a 28 year old autistic daughter. I have wanted to be a mom from an early age and love being one.
@@lorimav congratulations. Way to heap judgement.
@@MJ_Hershey how is saying you love being a mum and that no two mums think the exact same judgmental ?
4Veritas she never said all moms think the same? that didn’t come off as being very respectful to Jess, who is quite respectful
I had 5 kids, they are all grown,I love them all but I am still parenting 34 years later. I am financially, physically spiritually and emotionally exhausted.....it never ends. It’s ok to choose to not have kids.........
Thank you for saying this.
Thank you. Thank you for saying this. 💗
Do you think if you had less kids you’d be happier? I just had my 2nd child and I’m on the fence about whether to have another. My dream was always 4 kids but the reality of being a parent is very different from the dream. If I have more kids it’s for the kids, not for me. I had a 2nd child so my son could have a sibling. Your answer will help me decide on a very important decision. 😘
@@crazyhoe7924 More kids means you need to give yourself to more people. They will each need you in different ways. You have to think about the time you will have to designate to each child individually. Can you successfully give yourself to 4 people or 2 people?
Why so many? I feel after the 1st child you should stop if it's not for you
Why am I watching this I’m not a mom😂😂
According to Jordan same
You probably will be someday. Unconsciously prepping?
Haha. Not me. I’m spayed. Lol
I’m a dog mom... but I love being a dog mom so why am I here 🤷🏻♀️🤱🏻 🐶
Same here! Voluntarily sterilized, staunchly childfree, but here I am intrigued and subscribed. 😂😂😂
I'm 4 months postpartum and literally yesterday I had a breakdown and looked at my partner and said, "I want my life back." Obviously, I love my daughter. I don't regret choosing to become a parent AND I'm sick of being home alone after 8pm every night while my partner works late. I miss having friends. I miss having alone time with my partner. I miss having time and energy for sex. I miss my body. I miss the time and freedom to workout and for self- care. I miss my confidence. I miss the way people related to me before I was a mom. I miss being able sleep in until 7:30am, yes thats sleeping in. I miss being able to work when I need to work - which in real estate, is like all the time while simultaneously I hate that I have to work instead of being able to just be with my daughter. I miss feeling like I'm on top of my shit. I miss the days when I could skip doing the dishes for a day but now the bottles must be cleaned daily. I could go on. We all could. If anyone says they love all things required to be a mom they are lying. This shit is hard and as much as I wanted this I have been rethinking my desire for a second child. I hear it gets easier, which I'm afraid will have me consider going through this hard early stage again.
On another note, if you are reading this and not a mom yet but want to be one day... if you are in debt, get seriously motivated to get out of debt as fast as possible. Being a mom is stressful enough as it is - do yourself a favor and don't enter into parenthood with outstanding debts. If I didn't have debt I likely wouldn't be working in the same capacity that I am now. I will never get these moments back and I feel like I'm missing out on the best parts of being a mom while I struggle to stay on top of my work.
Lindsay Victory Hey. My kids are 12 and 19. I don’t think that it gets easier...it’s just that the demands on you change as your kids change. I will say, though, that the first year was definitely the worst year. I hope that you have a good day.
Lindsay Victory you’re spot on
Lindsay Victory I relate to those 100%! I had a major breakdown yesterday while having to work and take care of my newborn that won’t stop feeding and crying and just cried to the point where I called my husband to come home and take care of me and the baby. I wish I can have the moments back when I didn’t have to work and enjoy my newborn. Thank you writing this! I know I’m not alone!
I feel so horrible because I resigned from my job to not send my baby to daycare but I feel like a nobody now. Then today I started crying just thinking about work and how I feel useless and said my kid ruined me 😭...I don't want to think like this but I miss being free and going out whenever also. I never thought I'd get pregnant because my husband and I have had unprotected sex for years and nothing ever happened. I would think if it happens it happens if not I think I'll be fine but it did happen. Lol...I love my baby but it's so tiring!!
Holy shit what a depressing thread
I wish more mothers would tell the truth
I think in general it's annoying that people just say what they're supposed to instead of being honest and sincere. I think a little more honesty in the world would be nice, there's ways to be honest in a somewhat tactful way so you aren't offensive. I have always been annoyed with all the BS out in the world.
@@sandycastro3925 LOL...rest assured time will teach her that lesson (just have some popcorn whilst you listen 😁)
sandy casas EXACTLY dummies!! it sleeps more than half the day when first born and suppose to and will be up more as it gets older it’s so so ridiculous. THAN I would love for someone to explain to me why people ask me even now when my baby is 2 months old “does it sleep through the night” as if they are dieing for me to say no it dosent because they secretly don’t want to admit theirs dosent either. I wanna be like no u fool babies at this age REQUIRE TO BE FEED EVERY 2-3 hours. So therefore how can a baby sleep through the night when they need to wake up to eat???? If they didn’t that would be a major problem and also their diaper would be soiled and full of urine!!!!
sandy casas therefore next person who asks me I will say actually no they need to eat every 2-3 hours so she has to wake up at least 2 times!!!
Iron Snowflake lmao exactly
I am bawling because for three years I truly thought something was wrong with me. Thank you so much for this. ♥️
💜
Mariah Contreras were suppose to lie to the world tho and pretend it’s so wonderful!!!
You are not crazy. I felt the same. I still do a lot of the time and my kids are 12 and 19 now.
It’s not wonderful I hate it
Mariah Contreras absolutely nothing is wrong with you. People lie about these things as they are scared to be judged or so. ❤️
You are so likable. Relatable but without being negative. Your energy is kind, light, and honest.
She radiates so much authenticity and kindness!
Why do you put materialism, like her voice and attitude to something mystic and transcendental? It's nothing "energetic" in her voice and attitude lol
There's a difference between
"I don't like being a mom"
And
"I don't like my child"
The dislikes need to learn the difference!
💯💯💯💯
There isn’t a difference. They’re saying I don’t like how motherhood has gotten in the way of my life. Motherhood is hard work and selfish feelings can’t be part of the equation. But it’s true that real mature adults can be caretakers. Very rare these days.
@@snapshot1386 that is an extremely ignorant take.
@@snapshot1386 you can love your kids and miss your life at the same time lmao.
@@snapshot1386 I would say that the only time not liking motherhood and not liking your child are the same thing would be if those feelings resulted in you ignoring your child and putting yourself first rather then your child.
This is why I decided motherhood wasn’t for me. Thanks for your honesty x
same x
Ditto.
We need you ladies too!! I am a mom, but I can appreciate and respect when people know THAT life isn't for them. 💜💚
@@mrs.hatfield1451 Thanks for your support! So many people don't like it when you say you don't want kids. :(
@@lordfreerealestate8302 That's because when you become a mom, you can't unbecome and most moms "just can imagine." I think it is great, there is so much to enjoy in life, other than kids. I sit here and watch my younger friends go through tremendous amounts of depression because they feel like they HAVE to become a parent, or own a house, or have a spouse by this age or whatever and it is not worth that feeling either. Enjoy your life and enjoy other people's babies!!
I have to say I am the one who loves being a mom and have always wanted to be. With that said I am glad you are able to say how you really feel. We need moms who support each other. We need both moms who enjoy it and those who don't so much. I wish we had more safe space to support other moms.
You said it perfectly. I too love being a mom, but am supportive of other moms struggling.
I hate being a mom and I wish I didn’t hate it but can’t help the way that I feel
What do u enjoy about it
@@jaydapinkett7606 I enjoy when my kids tell me they love me. When I'm having a rough day and they tell me I'm the best mom in the world. To me that makes life all better. My kids smiles just melt my heart. I also am a nuturer by nature so I love taking care of people . so to me carding for my kids is the best part of my life. I love every day with my kids. On the flip side I can understand how someone can nor enjoy it. I don't enjoy every day. Some days are tough. For me though the good out weigh the bad. I am not judging you lot enjoyingmotherhood just saying what I enjoy about it.
Can you tell me how it is that you love not being able to do whatever you want whenever you want? I wanted to FOLD LAUNDRY that’s been sitting her there for almost a week and my baby kept getting into things she shouldn’t I couldn’t do both. I put the laundry back in the basket and just watched her instead. It’s so frustrating not being able to do basic things to maintain the damn house. Let alone maintain myself, self care. How do you deal with that.
I think a lot of people put on a front and pretend motherhood is lovely and all giggles. You’re awesome for being so honest
agree completely. It's like having to maintain the facade that motherhood is constantly an endless source of joy.
I agree I hate it
Sarah true. It’s not. Lol. Mom life is not always the best life.
Thank God someone said it. I’m the one that tells my child free friends - “don’t let anyone tell you that you have to have children.”
Me too!!
I never liked the idea of becoming a mom, so i am the fun aunt and give them back by 8pm
same here! i’m childfree and wanna to be the cool auntie :)
the world and all the moms needs you too!
Lol that’s my sister and she’s happy as can be with her doggies
YES!
That's so me, I always knew motherhood wasn't my thing even tho I adore babies, so been an auntie is the BEST thing in the world, she is the LOVE of my life and I help my sis as much as I can, but I enjoy my freedom and long sleep hours. ☺️
I love my daughter but being a mom is exhausting and sometimes awful
Alexa 26 as with anything else in life. There are pros and cons with everything.
Silver Snow well said! Other things you can choose to leave behind but from a child you can’t
Silver Snow that is not a choice for some women who are independent and the sole provider only source of income. So, no, leaving a job isn’t always an option.
Silver Snow Lol right like there’s only one job on earth.
I'm so relieved that this issue is being talked about, I thought it was just me who felt this way, it's a really difficult thing to talk about because of the judgement that often comes with it, I love my children more than anything in the world but sometimes I feel like I can't do it, I just don't feel strong enough, if someone would have told me before I became a mum that this could be how I would feel I honestly would have changed my mind, like I said, I love my children and I want nothing but happiness and health for them but sometimes I just can't take it, it's not just the fact that it's the hardest thing I'm doing and probably will ever do but the overwhelming desire to keep them safe from the world is the hardest part, knowing that I have to let them go at some point and hope with everything in me that they will be ok.
These videos are educational for new Dads as well. I’ve been loving your videos and learning lots from them. How to be a better parent. A better father. And a more supportive husband no matter if my wife loves being a mom or doesn’t like it sometimes. So thank you for posting these. 😊
Couldn't agree more. Being a supportive father and husband for my wife and first time parents is harder than I ever thought it would be, but I still love my child and know it will be worth it.
Thank you Buddy for being an example for men everywhere. GOD bless you!
It's so nice to see a man caring!
Awww nice to see a couple men in the comments here. Funny I actually just sent this to my husband 😂
Great dads!! Awesome!
I fully expected the title to be a clickbait. So happy it wasn't, this is such a wonderful video!
sameee
"Of course I remember life before being a Mom" THANK YOU! AGREE so MUCH!
I had 3 kids in 3 years and 4 months. I finished my PhD dissertation while pregnant with the second. The second child wouldn’t ever let me put her down without an ear piercing scream which made the oldest start howling. I call the first 4 years of motherhood the black years. I tried so hard to look like I was doing everything perfect for the benefit of society that I wasn’t putting quality energy into my kids. I was tired and anemic for YEARS.
Now my kids are 16,15 and 13. They turned out great and I realize now, I’m just not a newborn, toddler person. I just don’t have the energy or patience for it. Now when I need sleep, I tell the kids to be quiet OR ELSE! Love it!
It gets better! For those who think their teens are awful, I wonder if they were the ones trotting out their perfect newborns who never cried and slept through the night from the start. I was surrounded by those moms and felt like I was doing everything wrong. Now I KNOW I did everything the best I could under our circumstances. Far from perfect but they turned into great human beings.
Thank you!
OMG the black years, I love this!! I'm halfway through, waiting for it to end. Everyone keeps telling me I'll miss it, that it goes by so quickly but I, like you, don't have the patience for this stage. I often say if I could fast forward time two years, I would in a heartbeat.
LP I hate when people say you’ll miss this stage. You don’t know me! I know I won’t miss this stage, it sucks!
I am there, have a 9 month old and also writing my Dissertation, have finally time to write at naps and at night, but it’s really hard to focus when you’re exhausted
Yep calm baby , toddler , teens difficult . Haha
I've been a mom for 12 years. In those 12 years the parties turn to acquaintances and acquaintances turn to no friends and the social isolation started and I'm about 4 years and it's complete social isolation and let me just tell you as a mom watching this thank you for saying that being a mom is so hard that you just dont like it. We sacrifice our whole selves to lose all of our relationships and our life suffers because of being a mom
I also have a 4 and a half year old and a one-year-old and let me tell you it's the hardest ages to have combined
I am almost 70. My first childcwas very sick and i was exausted. Had so much anger at my situation. My husband did not help. Things got better but wuth my lastvone told i will not have thus child unless you help me. Hon it does get better. My oldest died this past christmas at home. I miss him so much but it was soooo hard to get through thise years.i still feel guilt that i was not always a good mom. Love all three of my kids but being mom was not fun at all when they were little. I dudnot feel like a person but just a machine. My oldest was such a insprion to others and loved me even when i was so lacking.thought i was the inly one that felt this way.he never slept as a baby. 2 hour cat naps and awake fir 2 hrs.but god got me thriugh it
Let go of that guilt , you did all you was capable of at the time given each circumstance .
It's okay to feel that wasn't good enough but trust me it was. We are all only human we have emotions , we struggle. You can't beat yourself up for it forever. Release it, forgive yourself and focus on all the parts that were positive and enjoy your life because your children would want that for you . Your son would want you to be happy. I'm sure he appreciated you more than you know . I'm so sorry for your loss , no parent should have to lose a child . X
@@bonnienash8585 thank you for saying thus. I know he never held a grudge or anything. Always loved me and my husband no matter what.a wonderful person. Trying hard to get on with life.jst wish i had one more hug.i tryed to let his last month be as good as pissable. He wanted to be home. So i called in hospice and let him pass the way he wanted.you are a very kind person.bless you
I'm sorry for your loss :( I bet back in the days it was even harder being a mom! Don't beat yourself up, no one is perfect, I'm sure your kids love you no matter what and your son is watching over you, he doesn't want to see you feeling guilty. God bless you !
@@isabeldiaz9717 thank you so much.and blesd you. I really needed to hear that💝💝💝
@@ruthgoddard6539 ❤❤❤❤❤
Currently sitting trying to settle a fussy 6 week old at 7am, been up since 4.30 and also looking for hope. Thank you I needed this!
hang in there, gets much better closer to the end of the 4th trimester :)
Mine is 7 weeks and I’m about ready to break. Us moms need each other!
I'm surprised you were able to type out this little paragraph. My little one doesn't let me do anything when he's fussy!!
Yeah this is why I will never be a mother. So glad you're honest
@Ruby Vera because I follow her as a UA-camr so I watch her videos....because I watch a variety of content and like to hear from other people who live a life different from my own.
@SilverMoon 333 To look for other experiences
This just came out of my mouth this morning. My husband looked at me. Thank you for helping me let him know I'm not alone.
I love this... The women who never wanted to have a baby but ended up pregnant usually seemed more justified in saying this, but as a girl that always wanted babies since I was a toddler myself, throughout middle school, high school, and even college for some reason I idolized the idea of having babies and having a family. Once I gave birth to my daughter EVERYONE was saying “you got what you wanted” “you must be so happy” etc. and I just kept saying No. I am an independent person. I like to do things for myself and don’t really like relying on anybody. And babies are something that just CANNOT be done solo. Whether a significant other, mom, or friend you have to have someone help you in some way. To hold her so you can pee, or bring you food because you can’t leave, or watch her so you can work. I just hate feeling like I’m inconveniencing everyone for my decision, but there is no other way 😣Even during my pregnancy most women say they can’t wait to have the baby or their pregnancy was so long but I felt it was extremely short and kept saying she can stay in there. I just knew my freedom was out the door the moment she came, and dreaded that doctors wanted me to have her two weeks early, whereas most people are happy about meeting their little one earlier. I just can’t believe I feel like this when I have been thinking about it almost every day for as long as I can remember. Was I mislead? Was I misinformed? I feel so bad to feel this way, and when I complain my partner loves to tease that “you asked for this” “remember, you’ve been waiting your whole life for this” 🙄 It’s so hard 😭 My daughter is 5 weeks. I’m just crossing my fingers that this will be a little better in a few months when she’s more self-efficient .🤞🏽I hope I can eventually love my body again- it’s the things no one even told me would change that bother me the most.😫 & I had no cravings during pregnancy, but are postpartum cravings a thing? 🤨 I eat soo much chocolate now. My whole experience just seems opposite of what I was expecting or was told about. 😰 Anyway, thanks for prompting me to rant and get that off my chest 😆 Great video as always ❤️ Sending ‘Mommy Love’ your way!
This is me atm. I didn’t want to become a mom, and now I’m 19 and pregnant. Sometimes I just get so sad because nothing will ever be the same, and it’ll never just be about me.
Wow. Thank you for this. I’m having my first in January and while it was something I wanted for a while, I also very much value my independence. Having said that, I was a little worried that I would feel this way and I SO appreciate you being honest about this. I’m saving this video to look back on if I ever feel alone in motherhood. Sending you love. ❤️
Thank you so much!! Congratulations! You are going to be a great mama!
Same here and due in November. I'm so so nervous! But we got this.. 🖤
Me too! I’m due on the first of October and I’ve been shifting between excited and afraid of the huge change. Nice to know we’re not alone.
I’m due in November and I feel the same. It’s been a hard adjustment.
@@jess_hover brill video x have u Snapchat or Instagram
I deliver my daughter in 13 days... I’ve always wanted to be pregnant. I’ve dreamed of it since I was 18. I’m currently 27. I think I’ll love motherhood. Pregnancy on the other hand has been absolutely miserable and I don’t ever want to do it again. I know people will say (and they do) “oh as soon as baby comes out you’ll want to do it again.”
Yeah no I don’t like being miserable and suffering within my own body. It’s not very fun.
Jessica Michelle I was sick all day everyday until my son was born pregnancy was a nightmare and labor was identical to the labor scene in the movie look who’s talking. My son had sever acid reflux I kept telling the dr he kept calling me crazy my nursing baby screamed constantly in pain when he was 12 it was discovered his acid reflux destroyed his stomach a gastointeologist fixed it finally the stomach pain and crazy random vomiting stopped at age 12. In the 90s drs thought it was impossible to have acid reflux. I now hate the pediatric dr who wouldn’t listen to me. He is also the same dr that botched my son’s curcumsision and would not admit it even after a surgeon had to repair it. I now think the pediatrician was a sadist
I HATED when people made those comments to me about pregnancy. People really need to stfu sometimes, especially if they've never gone thru it.
joan baczek Get that lawsuit !
Bout time women started to be honest about this.
I needed this I have a 9 week old baby as well, and I'm so exhausted, and emotional,and hungry all the time because of breast feeding, and I have been feeling a bit alone, but seeing this I feel more normal and not so alone and bad.
You got this momma! I had a rough start to motherhood and I remember being scared because of how much I didn’t like it, I was like oooo crap, but I do enjoy it more now. I feel like there’s really nothing that prepares us for it, we’re thrown into the most responsibility of our lives with no training and high hormones.
When you’re up at 3:30 in the morning, exhausted, frustrated, emotional, not sure if you’re doing it right, or can even do it at all, just know that there are literally millions of women up with you feeling the same way. You are not alone❤️
@@oddlilbird I have a 6 week old. Thank you all.
chepookadook you will sleep again, I promise☺️🤪.
chepookadook to clarify, you will sleep AGAIN, but you won’t sleep IN, again😆. 😊
Thank you for validating all my reasons I’m not having kids. I don’t mean that in a mean way, I think moms are so cool and so important and I’m constantly in awe of moms. Maybe I’ll change my mind, but I doubt it. I just don’t think I have it in me to be a mom, and that’s okay too. But big props to those who can, I literally do not understand how you do it.
motherhood def was a hard transition for me also. The first months were so rough, sleep deprivation, clusterfeeding on my boob, waking up in the night every hour, having to walk AND nurse her to sleep on my boob, no nap consistencies, short naps or no naps...
But then it gradually got better, and then she becomes more of a person and now she is consistent in napping and sleeping. And I still dont love being a mom, but I love her and do my best for her every day. i do love it sometimes but other times its just hard having this huge responsibility 24/7 and being all day with a baby you have to entertain for hours.
Yeah but you knew what you were getting yourself into.. like, you can’t have best of both worlds. It’s called being a grown up and be responsible for your actions and decisions. I think many women had kids just for the sake of social pressuring into having them, and because we just think that being parents makes our lives meaningful, but that’s not the case. We give our lives meaning, whether we have kids or don’tz
That’s like having a dog and complaining you have to clean after him and pick up his shit. That’s just my opinion though. Many things are really hard in life, but if you really want something you will push through the bad things too, maybe enjoying them too. 🤔
@@samantarizzi248 Girl be quiet just like working can get exhausting so do motherhood especially if you don't get no break in between. It don't have nothing to do with being responsible and being a grown up.
@@octavialinton243 taking responsibity is part of being a grown up.
@@nicolebee3273 Clearly you missed what I said. Have a blessed life.
For every new mother who feels exhausted and overwhelmed, don't worry, it will get easier. My boy is now a bit over four months and yes, it's still a lot of work, but the nights are better already and those first crazy weeks already seem to be so far in the past. You've got this. 💚
Hate when ppl say it will get easier Years seem like centuries when your waiting for it to get easier can’t enjoy life cuz your waiting for it to get easier n get depressed
I love when people say it gets easier, it is encouraging and gives me hope
My boy is 22months but still I'm having sleepless nights and more exhausted then before 😫 I love him more than anything in this world but some times when i'm super tired and he doesn't sleep till late night, I hate him and tell my self many times. In real i can't live without him. I'm single mom with out parents so its really tought but i love him 💖
@@sabrinasapana9061 Hey. It is hard work indeed. I’m a single mother too. My son usually wakes two times during the night. He goes back to sleep quickly though, so I am nowhere near as tired as before. Wishing you a lot of love for you and your little one. Better nights will come. 💚
I thought it would get easier too. Newborn was a cake walk. Toddlers make me wanna Thelma and Louise it off a cliff alone in my car.
I feel the same, my daughter is 7 weeks old. Honestly, i didnt feel i could share these feelings with anyone because it seems all the other moms feel the opposite.
u r not alone, i feel these way too!
I can't take it im going to lose my mind sometimes I beg for my old life back
It just gets worse
I had an awareness Awaken be grateful my god
Some of them are lying.
I decided to never have kids because it's a huge commitment and you can never quit this job ever. I just knew I didn't have the temperament. Women need to realize that motherhood is hard and can be very lonely. I saw my friends struggle. It takes a certain fortitude. Hats off to you for being honest. Motherhood is not a Hallmark card.
Yes, yes, yes! That's my decision too. People should think about all aspects of it BEFORE making babies. You can also live happily ever after life with travels, hobbies and animals and NO children. Just think about this option. Motherhood is not for everyone and I really do not see the point in sacrifising.
I’m only 6 weeks pregnant at 36. And I’m scared that I won’t like being a mom too...especially because up until now, I always felt that I didn’t want kids. All of that changed the moment I became pregnant! This pregnancy is both a miracle and a blessing and I’m terrified that something will happen to my lil’ bean. Trying to take it day by day and doing the best I can to be healthy, take care of myself and bring this baby to full term! I’m glad I found this channel.
How did it go?
Omg! I literally just told my husband last night “I don’t wana take care of our baby anymore and I don’t wana be a mom” 🤦🏽♀️ I was so serious at the time but then I felt SO bad! I just started my a channel and I think I want to make a video like this 😬. Mine will probably not be as funny 😂 but I feel like I need to because I love my baby but I HATE being a mom! 😒
Say this to my husband all the time but I will never quit - you got this x
I told my husband you will be changing every single diaper if we have kids because I would only be having them for him, he claims he doesn’t mind the idea of waking up all the time and doing all of the work, I don’t know how 🤷🏽♀️I don’t think he’s ever had to watch a baby for more then an hour… that sh*t is hard!!! Props to you!
I cried so many times to this video. I so needed this message. I feel everything she's felt and I'm so glad I'm not alone.
Honestly, my highest level of RESPECT and admiration goes out to all of you Moms:-)......I am child-free by choice ONLY BECAUSE I had to babysit once for a college roommate of mine once while she went on a "date night" w/Baby Daddy and I nearly blew my head off after about 6 hours of babysitting. The fact that you literally "give up your life" to care for another life was just too "consuming" for me. I honestly do not know how Moms out there are pulling this off so for sure you guys must be AWESOMELY GIFTED and SPECTACULAR! women:-) Thank you for making this enlightening video:-)
Motherhood requires making a lot of sacrifices and makes you wake up early. It involves doing a lot of things we don't want to do. The truth is it takes a lot out of a person, emotionally, mentally and physically! That being said, the love a mother feels for their children is almost overwhelming sometimes and the children are an infinite amount of joy and love.
You’re like a Disney princess in casual clothes.
Sometimes I think "I wish I didn't have kids" so I could do all the fun stuff but then I remember I didn't do those things before kids and now I only have a couple friends and they have kids so there's no pressure to do things that aren't kid friendly. I have always wanted to have kids, even if just adopted but I will say it is so much harder than I expected.
I was just like this when i had muy first child. I felt drowning and that i didnt have an identity. now my son is 6 and my daughter is 4 and i enjoy motherhood soo much!! it will get better. babies are not easy
Oh Jess, you are so precious. We need you in this world.
I thought I wanted three and then it was two and now I’m happy with my one. I love my son he’s two and a half but I loved my independence as well and being a mom isn’t for everyone. I think i was made to be a momma of one ☝️
And that's ok! Im a mom of one. He just turned eighteen. It's been a perfect number for me. Don't let people make you feel like you need half a dozen kids or something is wrong with you. My one kid is awesome and happy as are we!! :)
Aubrey Odom my son was 5 when we decided for a second because I always wanted a girl and Second was a girl. Before I always thought I want 3 kids but now I am good with my 2 kids. Having kids is so much work.
Aubrey Odom I’m the same I wanted a mum of 2!! And I’ve being struggling with pnd ... and I always wanted be a mumma and there days I don’t like being a mum my boy 15 months! He such a gorgeous bub... I’m sticking to one too! 🙂
Same here. I struggle daily cause I always thought I would have two but nope ... one and done
There is so much guilt directed towards those who choose to have only one -- the main thing I've heard is that you "owe it" to your first child to give them a sibling, and it's just not true! I wish this belief could be dispelled! I understand that siblings can provide many opportunities to develop crucial social skills, but I don't believe a sibling is the only person who they can practice this with. And then there is the concern of loneliness, but I firmly believe that with enough intentional nurturing and providing enough companionship opportunities through various social groups (formal and informal), all of these developmental milestones can be properly navigated and result in a very well-balanced person who is able to conduct themself kindly and confidently in society. My husband and I are going to make the decision as we go, deciding how many and how often to have children. Each child (person) is different and there is no reason to assume that they NEED a sibling in order to properly develop.
Another factor for me (that may not apply to everyone's situation) is that I have 4 siblings myself and we all live within 10-20 minutes of one another and plan to continue as such. Two of them already each have one child, and we plan to make sure they all get plenty of cousin time, which can be very similar to sibling relationships in many ways! This doesn't even have to be about family. Just be sure that the child gets a reasonable amount of socialization with others and don't worry too much about creating a "perfect" social scenario because that doesn't exist. I hope these thoughts I'm sharing will help give others confidence to follow your instinct on how many or how few children you ought to have (even if that means none at all). ❤️
Im 34, pregnant with my first child. I waited on purpose later in my life to have a child because i always knew I would love my kid but not love been a mom. I know i will not enjoy the job often lol I think there's nothing wrong with that. Thanks for your honesty xo
Gawd this is so true, I had my first daughter at 16!!! It happened I sucked it up decided that if i was old enough to be active that i was old enough to handle motherhood. I am now 25 with 3 girls spaced 5 years apart and happily married. I'm finishing up a college degree with a 8 month old with a pandemic+homeschooling and I'm just on the edge. Thank you for staying positive throughout the whole video, I needed to hear everything.
I needed this. I’m a stay at home mom of 3 girls, and due with my 4th daughter in November. It’s so hard and so beautiful all at once.
Is your baby here?
Vlasta Barac , she’ll be here on the 15th 💕
I’m a new mom as of two weeks ago and I am feeling this so hard right now! I love how positive your videos are but also how honest they are. They truly make me feel like I’m not alone and I can’t thank you enough for that!
I couldn’t handle being up all night I start to see things when I don’t get 8 hours
Thank you for your honesty. I felt like this for years and my daughter is almost 4. I pursued all my degrees and wanted to be a successfully career woman, but I became a single mom. I did finish graduate school, but these jobs are merciless when your kid gets sick and you have to leave work to go get them. I’m always tired and unmotivated. I thought I was the only one going through this.
I’m so scared. I am worried I’ll regret it if I have kids and I’m scared to have kids. It‘s invasive, it could kill me, and I will be tired trying to raise a human - it terrifies me.
@ overpopulation is a myth. www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=m.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3D2tFTMVTafRg&ved=2ahUKEwiLlr3Ek_rmAhXcQEEAHaYzAIwQt9IBMAt6BAgJECU&usg=AOvVaw0yaVpoSx4C6n50HJDMYU2V
@ I can't believe some people actually think 7.3 billion is a less number lol. Childfree all the way
Better not to have kids then??
I don't regret having my kids. I just don't like being a mom. Even if I could go back in time and change it, I wouldn't.
I cannot thank you ENOUGH for this. Currently 25yo, due in January, and was told I’d never get pregnant. Surprise surprise, we got pregnant in April! We are so thankful for the opportunity and that it was even possible as we let go of that dream years ago, but we also grieved and moved on and made new goals. I’m struggling with feelings bad for feeling the same. I am sure I will LOVE my child, but I don’t have a heart for motherhood, all the mommy things and events, the tiredness, etc. I love our life as just us two, and we are so thankful to have gotten pregnant and we are excited, but it is also going to be a huge adjustment and I will probably grieve our old life a little bit too and thats okay.
I don't know why this got in my recommended but considering I can barely take care of myself, I will always be childless. I made this decision when I entered high school and the thought still hasn't changed 15 years later. I'm so glad I'm still not a mother.
I so needed this video. Right now I am 8 months pregnant and nanny a 4 month old and a two year old, and some days it is so so hard to enjoy or let alone get excited about having my own kids. This seriously helped me so much.
I started looking up "I cant handle having a puppy" and "I regret getting a puppy". I cant even image a human, you are amazing.
I never wanted to be a Mom. I actually despised the idea.
I met my partner and I kinda went "baby crazy" and now I'm 32 weeks pregnant.
Thank you for this video. I've been very worried about having depression after giving birth.
melmelmog it's even worse having it during which is my current experience at 29 weeks. It's like its unexplainable. I didn't have this issue pre-pregnancy.
@@chioma2983 you mean depression? I've had it throughout my life and think that as long as I can recognise it, I'll be able to combat it.
melmelmog Yes I'm referring to depression. But there are different sub categories to depression. During pregnancy it's a different type of depression versus not being pregnant and having it.
@@chioma2983 yes I'd agree it's different, but the effects feel the same for me.
Maleficent postpartum depression occurs after pregnancy. I'm was talking about experiencing depression throughout pregnancy.
I’m not pregnant, nor do I have children but this exact thing is why I’m terrified to have children. But I also want children.
Makes 0 sense. I know. I’m sorry.
But
100% don’t think I could do it.
But then on the other hand... I 100% feel like I could do it.
🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃
I feel you! 100%
Motherhood seems terrifying, but having children seems wonderful, haha.
Makes perfect sense. I want to be a mom and I feel like I would be a wonderful mother, but I also feel like I would really dislike being a mother. I feel like I would dislike being tired and not having my husband all to myself and I would dislike not being able to focus on myself and sleep when I want.
That's such a great way to describe it actually lol. I feel the same. I'm 27, married and I literally just found out today that our best friends are 4 weeks pregnant (so exciting!) so I've been really doing some serious thinking about whether I want to have kids. We really want to but also, I am under no illusions that having kids means anything other than devoting the entire rest of my life to them so it's a big deal and so scary and also sounds kind of awful in a lot of ways lol. Especially since I can barely take care of myself as it is! It's a really hard decision. I don't think it'll happen for us for at least a couple more years though, no matter how much our friends' pregnancy makes my mother-in-law even more persistent lol!
Laura Pardy i am preggo with baby #3 and never intended on having more than one. Life was so easy with just one. He would go to his his grammas once and a while for a night and my husband and I could go out and have date time and alone time. It was just so easy for me and I loved it more than anything. But then after having my second, it’s been so hard. My son still goes to his grammas every now and again but not my daughter. So she’s with me 24/7. When she’s older maybe she will go too but it doesn’t matter cause I’m preggo again and even if gramma keeps 2 at a time she will never keep all 3 at the same time which means I will ALWAYS have at least one child at all times so I’ll never ever get a break and never get a date night with my man. It’s hard. It’s exhausting. And it isn’t always fun or enjoyable. But I will say I love my kids more than life it’s self and the good times, the bond we have is more special and precious than anything and if I never became a mom I would regret it on my death bed. I’d always have felt like a part of me was missing becusss it was never born. But I will never regret having my babies.
Having support is crucial. I'm single mother now, with autistic child, no family whatsoever, so it's hard and I never imagined it that way when I was planning pregnancy
I've got 2 babies, a 2 year old and a newborn, I feel the same, I'm going through ppd and as a single mother, with no car, no job, living with my parents out of an abusive relationship, I'm just in pain, I'm tired, I want to give my toddler more attention. Just thank you so much for this I've cried for hours every night until my eyes swell up im crying now just realizing my mom will be home to help this weekend ❤❤❤
Hang in there!!!
This was PERFECT timing. I've always thought I wanted 10 kids, but going on 3 weeks into motherhood, I'm DYING. It's always great to have that reminder that motherhood isn't easy, but it's worthwhile. My new mantra as I go into the next night of very little sleep
Aqualyn me too my girl is 3 weeks tomorrow ❤️ I understand
Love when people are real like this and are brave enough to talk about "taboo" subjects
I cried several times watching this.. i feel so emotional just thinking that this year I will be a mom. Thanks for the video
I'm due in 9 weeks. And this has been a fear that had kept me up at night! I've fretted over the fact of, "What if I can't handle it? What if I don't like it and I wasn't ready?"
This helps and will help me in the future to know that if I feel this way I'm not alone!! 💙💙💙 thank you for everything you do
I have been fretting this too. I’m due in December and that’s a busy time of year of course, that might be adding to the thought but I’m so scared that it will last past the holidays.
you can and its going to be alright.
i dont even have a kid but im 21 and my mom is my best friend. i hope she had someone to tell her these things.
messymonster cute that you thought of that :)
I respect you for saying what you think. My babygirl is one year old and.. I really DO love it? I mean of course I would like to sleep more, but waking up every day to that smiley face makes my mornings so much better than back in the day without her when I DID sleep through the night. And being on this mom timer because of bottles, diapers etc.. it made me a better person! I was soo unorganized and umotivated before and if babygirl was not there to keep me on my feet I would not value my free hours half as much as I do now! I am now actually using my time to create things. But I still get why other moms feel the way you do. I appreciate your honesty.
Thank you for your honesty! I'm pregnant and it irritates me to hear people say, "You will not remember how your life was before you had your child" in such a positive way. I am very happy to be pregnant and want to be a mother, but I know that postpartum depression is a very real thing and I want to prepare myself to cope with my own emotions realistically. I appreciate how you seemed to acknowledge a perfectly acceptable gray area in parenting-- you can dislike parts of motherhood AND be a good mother at the same time.
I’m 3 weeks away from being a first time mom and this came to me just when I needed it, now my heart feels a little more at ease❤️ thank you so much for putting yourself out there and being vulnerable so new moms like me don’t feel so alone!
Congratulations! You must be just about to give birth if you haven't already. Such a precious time to be going through. There are plenty of places to get help as a new mother - this channel is a great one. (And Dunstan Baby is too!)
Thanks so much for making this. It’s not something most women talk about but it’s something that many of us feel and feel guilty about it. It’s good to know you’re not alone.
I needed this. Watched with my 7 week old strapped to me in a carrier cause I can’t put him down. I constantly feel guilt that I’m not making the most of every moment and wishing he was older. It’s just so.dam.hard. I wasn’t expecting it to be this way and it’s refreshing to hear I’m not alone. Thank you 💕
Alice White It is all consuming at first, but it gets sooo much better !!! It gets so much easier. I promise
Also feeling this. The guilt over wanting him to be older is real right now!
Alice and Rachel’s Angel Forever 😑😑😑😑 mom shaming at its finest. This is not a helpful comment. She is an overwhelmed new mom, learning things on step at a time. Also, I’m not sure if you’re aware, but every baby is different, you have no idea what may be going on with her baby to make it harder to deal with. My baby had colic and it was a nightmare, you clearly haven’t went through that. Shame on you for telling her to get a grip. As a woman be supportive and encouraging, not the 12 year old bully we already had in grade school 🙄
Alice and Rachel’s Angel Forever Lol that is not true at all. My daughters colic lasted for 3 months and you have no clue how hard that is 24/7. She also has torticollis and acid reflux. If you knew how hard those things are you would not be typing non sense that you don’t know anything about. You know NO ONES circumstances but your own. Please stop being annoying, rude, and judgemental. You have no clue what you’re talking about 😂
Ohhhhhh damnnn Lucky you!!! I can't even wear the carrier because it destroyed my belly totally:/ so he's either in my arms or stroller n I hate to walk around without a place to go to n I'm running outta places to go to then I get depressed I mope in da house a couple days stressing him out too so he cry more often n I be more stressed....etc endless circle....
Thank you so much. Exactly how I am feeling. And yes, I feel crazy sometimes for feeling this way, but I'm happy I'm not alone.
Currently 13 weeks and I'm not filled with joy thinking about my pregnancy. Don't get me wrong we tried for 2 years and I even had a chemical pregnancy before. But all i feel this time is fear and I just want to get over with the being pregnant part. And I'm not even sure when the baby finally is born healthy, if I'm able to feel that joy and happiness that I wish to feel now. When you showed your daughter asking you how your day was, I bursted out into tears because I thought about this little thing inside my belly maybe will talk to me one day 😭😭
I’m not a mom yet and don’t plan too be one anytime soon, but I absolutely love your channel and the message you send❤️ thanks for willing to be so vulnerable to us and sharing your faith!
“Vulnerability is our most accurate measurement of courage.” I pray God keeps shinning His light through you(:
Thank you so much!! Thank you for following along! Haha one of these days I'll make videos about other stuff again but my life is alllllll kids right now so that's what my videos are about!!
I’m 22 and currently 23 weeks pregnant. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 8 years and we’ve known we’ve wanted kids and my baby was semi planned. I got off birth control and we just kind of let it happen. I was still shocked and terrified when it happened but, we’re so excited. it’s so hard being the first friend in the group having a baby. I feel so left out of things sometimes.this really helped hearing this because I thought I was a bad mom for thinking this.
Congratulations & you are sooo normal! Thank you for watching! Excited for you guys!!
I’m 19 and 22 weeks pregnant and I relate to you so much! We didn’t admit that we were trying, but we were being careless, thinking having a baby would be somewhat fun lol I am not having too much fun and she’s not even here yet. But I never knew I could love an unborn human being more than I do at this moment! And the love will only get stronger ❤️ I’ll remind myself to not feel guilty when the burdens of motherhood come around.
brittany Daniels I’m 22 and also 23 weeks pregnant !! Also lol heyyy
I’m 22 too and 37 weeks pregnant. I’m going to be a single mama and I’m scared for all of it.
23 weeks pregnant also with my 3rd!!
Thank you so much for this. I have a 10 week old and it’s been hard. I’ve always wanted to be a mom but now that I am one I’ve found myself not liking it. I feel really guilty about having these feelings but knowing that there are other moms out there that feel the same way makes me feel a little better especially hearing the things that makes being a mom worth it. So thank you !
Thank you for this. I'm a new mum and I've been going through bad anxiety / depression. Just starting to seek help. It's so easy to compare ourselves to others.
I feel less alone now! And I will remember the 10 awesome things 😍 much love xx
I am soooooooo glaaaaaaaaaaaaad I stumbled upon this video. I feel so distressed when I feel this, or think this.. this is comforting knowing I’m not alone.. I didn’t have anyone to talk to about this, and I could find few blogs or vlogs talking about this... thank you for sharing. We do need each other. We are not all the same.
Thank you for posting this video. I just had my first baby 5 weeks ago and I absolutely love her so much,but I definitely miss my old life sometimes when things get rough... I do not regret having my little girl but i find myself often wishing for my old lifestyle where nobody depended on me so much ,where I can shower however long I want eat whatever and wherever I want go out whenever I want come back whenever I want. But everytime i look at my daughter I feel like shit for thinking such awful thoughts because she's so perfect and did nothing to deserve such a terrible mother. I'm 22 and I feel like maybe I'm missing out of life but God plans your life for you. I'm trying to get rid of such thoughts and enjoy every minute of being her mommy and watching her grow. Thank you for making me feel not so alone. And not crazy.♥️
I so get it! I have felt that too! Don't worry life gets a lot easier as she gets more independent! Just do what you can to enjoy this season right now & don't be so hard on yourself! Congratulations on your beautiful daughter. Being a young mom is awesome. You won't regret it later!!
You’re definitely not a terrible mother - you sound like you care so much! You’re just human and it’s so much tougher than people say. All the best and sending you the best wishes.
You’re not missing out on life! You’re creating a new and different kind of life. Hard and maybe sucks a bit for now, but think of all the joys your childless friends are missing out on right now by not having kids like you 🤗 hang in there and join a MOPS group so you can enjoy “life” as you have it in this stage. Surrounding yourself in person with other women in the same stage will help immensely!!
This is so refreshing. When I had my 2 daughters when I was 20 and 22 I loved it... But when my youngest daughter got in with the wrong crowd and substances I became mom to my grandson who was brand new. I was 45 I love him to death but being able to cope was so hard. I had to take him to a babysitter for 6-8 hours once he was 9 months old until he was almost 2. I didn't work but I just needed me time during that hard stage. He's now 5 and I love it and wouldn't trade it for anything. I didn't dare say anything to anyone other then my babysitter who is a close friend I thought people would think I was selfish. I just needed time to adjust to being a mom to a baby again after being an empty nester for 7 yrs. Yeah my husband and I have to put off some off the plans we had planned But we have the son we always wanted and he's is loved and happy and healthy
How is he now at 7?
I am a 39 year old mother of 4 kiddos. 14,12 special needs, 7, 2. I loved being a mom and then my fourth was a complete surprise and broke me. I was physically and emotionally done having children. I cried straight for months after I found out. I was just completely drained and exhausted. I couldn’t imagine starting over. Then he came and I loved him the minute I seen him. Pure perfection. Yes I do have my moments where I feel broken and I just want to run as far away as I can get. I’m dealing with a toddler and at the same time a moody teenager. Ohhhh boy. Then handling my special needs son and then my daughter who feels she’s not getting enough attention. There are days I cry alone and then days I just stare at them with love and amazement. Being a mom is hard really hard but I do love my kids. Don’t get me wrong. But it’s ok some days to not like being a mom. Thanks for sharing. You said everything we are all feeling. Much love.
Wow, I just made up my mind that I would like nothing more than to be a mom and then I see this video on my feed. I still long for the experience. Thanks for sharing! 🌻
You are so cute, so many women feel like this but are afraid to admit it for fear of judgement...hats off to you for your honesty!
My baby is 3 weeks(my first) and Omg I relate to this so so well thank you for posting this!!! It’s funny I was listening to Elton John’s Rocketman a couple days ago and it brought me to tears because I totally resonate with the message, I feel like I’m on a different planet and I’ve left my life behind! And it’s really hard to explain this feeling to people that don’t understand it because it makes me feel like I’m not good enough or I’m not feeling the way I should be feeling. But it’s so common to have these emotionsAnd my heart goes out to all the women who are experiencing it, we have to stick together ladies! Support is absolutely everything during this period!
Well said 😊❤
I am 30 weeks pregnant today and I’m honestly hating my pregnancy, this was something I needed to hear that genuinely makes things so much easier and worth it. ❤️
I'm 24 weeks and I REALLLLLYYYYY don't like being pregnant! I had 1 doctor who wanted to constantly admit me for a "psych eval" for the feelings I shared. I told her I don't like being pregnant, what if I'm not a good mom since I don't like pregnancy. I felt so anxious and emotional but never thought to hurt my baby.. I finally switched doctors and my current doctor said "No one enjoys it, it's not bad that we don't enjoy not feeling ourselves. No one enjoys nausea, being tired" If we could talk more about our feelings without repercussions, ultimately the world would be so much better! My auntie said "you're the person who hates pregnancy but will adore your kid so much" I hope that's the case for you too girl. You've made it this far ❤
I’m 35 weeks and I’m so miserable. I miss not being pregnant - I miss being able to go out with my bf to eat or the mall or the movies wherever and just spend time with him. At this point I’m so uncomfortable and I already told him I don’t want any kids after this (he also has another kid who I love so much) but after this one I’m so done. I know once I see her little face we’re gonna be so in love but I know that’s not going to make me want to do it all over again. I don’t think the symptoms are worth it.
My daughter is 1 now . I hated being pregnant. My friends talk about how they miss it . Nope not here !!
Devin Tidmore u
I'm not pregnant, but I was given a *huge* reality check.
My lungs are leaking fluid so they inserted two tubes inside me. It's so frustrating!
Like I can't comfortably sleep on my side, it's an adventure to bend down, I kind of have to waddle when I walk, and my weight (before a majority of the fluid was drained) probably increased by ten poinds.
I give you ladies so much credit! I could never see myself pregnant.
I'm 28 weeks pregnant and ugh. like, even though I feel like I'm getting it pretty well since I haven't had any nightmarish symptoms, I am also getting sick of it. sitting is annoying. standing is annoying. laying down is annoying. the most annoying of all is switching from one position to another, I feel like a bowling ball with tiny legs and arms, trying not to topple over. also I do one little chore and I'm dead tired. it's boring and annoying.
Never ever wanted kids n at 41 I just found out I’m pregnant. I truly am terrified, absolutely believe I’m going to HATE being a mom, I’m a selfish person that dreads giving up my life for this child. This video is EXACTLY what I desperately needed to see right now! I can’t explain the gigantic weight I felt lift off of me. I know you’ll probably never see this comment but THANK YOU so much for your honesty n making me feel like I’m not alone. Your list of reasons for motherhood being awesome has really changed how I’m feeling n now I’m almost looking forward to this new journey 💜
I hope you respond. I am 36 and I was the same as you. I am a New Yorker, jet setter, me me kind of woman. I hate kids and have no patience ... yet I got pregnant ! I am very very concerned I will hate being a mother. I am also very concerned I will be trapped forever. How are you feeling now ???
@@neuroticgypsy I am afraid of being a mother too. I NEED sleep and alone time. Terrified.
Just wanna let you know, you have options. If you’re still in first trimester it’s relatively easy to get an abortion (go with surgical, not medical, trust me). You can also adopt out! Better option if you’re further along. You can do open or closed adoptions and choose the parents. Newborns are pretty easy to adopt out and if you contact an agency BEFORE giving birth, many times they cover all the pregnancy visits and birth and everything financially. Plus, you give a family a child. Pretty cool.
Last option is of course keeping. I’m choosing to keep even though I’m terrified. Like, panicking every single day and sobbing, terrified.
If you’re gonna keep, heavily suggest to get weekly therapy. Preferably from someone versed in maternal care and pre and post partum issues. Take good care of yourself. See a chiropractor, prenatal massage, prenatal yoga. Look for things to be excited about.
-- ahh shoot I just realized your comment is from a year ago. 😂
I suppose I should ask you how it went for you?
I’m 25 weeks pregnant at the moment 😂
Everything I just said doesn’t really matter now but I’m gonna leave it up in case another pregnant scared lady sees it.
I had my beautiful son on 9/23/21 via c -section. I had a miserable pregnancy, but an amazing post partum! I LOVE SON soooo much and being a mother can be rough for sure, but I wouldn’t go back to my old life if given the chance. He was worth everything and a healthy 10 month old now climbing and standing and laughing and loving life!
@@neuroticgypsy that makes me so very happy to hear! Thank you!
@@ninifire4282 lol there are tons of stories of moms being miserable and feeling disconnected with their newborn. Don't let one happy story influence you.
I'm pregnant with my first baby and I am terrified. This helps me understand that there's ups and downs. I appreciate how you explain how hard but wonderful and rewarding motherhood can be. This made my day. Thank you.
Annnnd subscribed. I could have used this channel a year ago. I found out I was pregnant with twins, right when I started my business. Everyone asked "so, when are you going to stop working?" which I found confusing because I love what I do and didn't intend to stop. My twins are 17 months old, and I'm still running my business, and loving it, and honestly resonate with everything you said in this video. I fantasized about making a video like this for a long time, and never did. You friggen rock.
I’m only 19 and just found out yesterday that I’m pregnant. Father is not in the picture. I never imagined myself having children and now I am. I’m so scared bc I haven’t even lived my life and I feel like my fun years are getting ripped from my hands.
I just watched the video and saw your comment. I hope you are okay after one year💗
I'm 49 with 5 kids started at 21was on my own, you can make all your years fun it's just different fun. congratulations 💖 enjoy your life
Hey, i just read your comment and im also 19. I dont know your thoughts about pregnancy and motherhood and things related but you have your choice not to carry the baby before he/she gets bigger. If you dont think you can not do this, you dont have to, abortion is an option too. Whatever your choice is it, i support you ❤️🙏🏻 take care
@@niluferg5504 Adoption is also an option there are plenty of women who can't give life.
@@lisawarren8591 yes, definitely.
I needed this video - I needed someone to say out loud what I have been afraid to feel. I am excited and terrified to become a mom because I am scared I wont' love it - or be good at it. I appreciate you; we appreciate you. Thank you
Same.. a year later. Do you still have thr same feeling?
Also enjoyed this. Baby is 7 weeks, and I'm losing my mind. A couple days ago for the first time I thought, "I don't like my baby, I don't want to be a mom." I know it'll get better, but to know others feel the same is comforting. I wish we could be friends lol. Where do you live btw?
Your feelings are valid , consider asking people around you for help so you can have a bath and take a few hours to yourself. Being exhausted is no good for anyone. Take some you time . Being a mum is hard on us emotionally as well as being physically demanding.
It can be a very isolating experience . Getting out is no longer a simple task .
Talking and being around other people really does help x
It's so hard at first, hang in there! I felt the same. It really does get better, even if it's hard to imagine right now. ♥️♥️
I really appreciate you talking about the "schedule" aspect of early motherhood. For me this has been really hard on my mental health. Living my life in increments of 2-3 hours is disorienting and makes me always feel as if I'm behind. My baby has terrible gas and so his wake windows are all screwed up because he will get gas and just cry and not sleep for hours. I had no idea it would be like this - I genuinely didn't understand why new moms struggle to find time to shower and do basic stuff and naively thought I'd do better lol! It is SO HARD and there are times I hate it too. But my little guy is my favorite person and he just started social smiling so my heart explodes several times a day.
Not a Mum, but I’ve had this discussion so often with friends who are over the years. Of course, everyone loves their kids, but there is still a real stigma about saying “I love them, but if I could turn back the clock, I wouldn’t do it again.” As long as your kids NEVER hear or know that, and feel greatly loved, there should be a safe space to be honest about that, find or bring support to others’ In the same position, and most importantly, EDUCATE women before children so they can really know that 100% they’re making the right decision. For those who can’t turn back the clock, this is a really great, uplifting video, and for all the mums out there doing it tough, consistently remind yourself of what an awesome job you’re doing 👏🙌
Jessica, it’s been 4 years since you made this. How are you now? 💡 Video idea: “The clock is ticking, how do I know I most likely won’t enjoy motherhood?” (Or more so, hate it to the point it might psychologically become an issue eg depression). Thanks!
I'm 12 weeks pregnant and I've wanted to be a mum since I was a child... I'm 28 but I was so sure I'd end up pregnant at 18 😂 I'm so excited for this baby but I'm terrified that after wanting this for so long I'm going to hate it... Knowing that I might not love being a mum but of course I will love my baby is a nice way of looking at it. Thanks Mamma x
I get it! I dont think i could say that i dont lile being a mom, but i will say i dont like toddler temper tantrums or when babies who cant talk cry and i cant figure out the issue.
I love you ❤️
This is ok!
I'm 19 and pregnant with a baby boy. In also single. I left the baby's dad on my own terms because of issues that I did not want to bring into bub's life.
I'm looking to your videos for helpful tips and positivity! You're so positive and seem to have the mama thing down to a pat! You're doing great 💖
Hi Heather! congrats! I just want to say that I am happy for you! While it can be so, so hard (and really, by hard, i mean tiring) being a mom (single or no) dont ever let anyone make you think you can't do what needs to be done for your child because of your age. I wish I had known that. God bless!
Good luck! It’s gonna be tuff sometimes but I’m sure you will be a good mom:)
Oh wow:))) I also had my son at 19 and left his dad when I found out for many reasons. Its mega tough at first. dont put too much pressure on yourself to be perfect youl eventually grow into motherhood it took me a few years. Best of luck xx
I don’t think you understand how important your type of content is in today’s world. The honesty and transparency you offer has got to be so comforting to vulnerable soon-to-be-moms who are only surrounded by social media influencer moms. I’ve seen a few videos of yours and the pure honesty and authenticity is such a special gift to the world.
I have found that the best things in life are also the hardest. The amount of pain and anguish you feel with motherhood is also how much joy you will feel from it. Not every day of course, but throughout the course of your life. I often tell my husband, "kids are the best! And the worst". He gets it. And we would never choose a life without them. Truly.
Thank you so much for this, I am 17 weeks pregnant and I can not wait to meet my baby, but pregnancy has been so difficult and I see other pregnant women look so happy and it makes me feel “crazy!” It makes me feel guilty for complaining about not getting enough sleep or throwing up all the time because I know pregnancy is a gift that not everyone can experience and I know I am very lucky to be having a healthy pregnancy, but that doesn’t change that it is hard, and I know it is going to be hard. But thank you for making this video I really needed it!
You’ll get through this mama!❤️ I was so sick through a lot of my pregnancy (currently 32 weeks) yes, there are days when you feel like you can’t get through an hour much less the day....but then one day you’ll realize you can eat a meal, or you feel that tiny kick for the first time, you see your belly grow and are reminded of the little life inside you❤️ you will get through this and you’ll know baby is worth every moment!
I felt the same with my first son and wondered how there are so many people on earth because it's so hard being pregnant (For a lot of us)! But you forget the hardship once they are here and then you might even think it's a good idea to have another! I'm 14 weeks with our third. Kids are hard and frustrating but they are the sweetest most amazing little things ever. Nothing can make your want to pull your hair out and melt your heart at the same time like a child your grew and birthed. Hang in there, you'll get past this hard time and pass right into another! Each hardship has equal blessings and it's so worth it. Focus on the good and it really will uplift you.. that's my goal each day : )
LadyM. Thank you ❤️
Vessel Of Grace ❤️❤️ thank you!! Wishing you the best with your 3rd!!
Honesty is freedom. Yin and yang. Each is a part of each other!
I needed this video. So bad. I gave birth to a gorgeous girl three weeks ago, and sometimes I cry because I miss my life before her. My hobbies includes spending hours in the garage, going to car meets, and driving. I can’t do that now. I can’t spend 6 hours in the garage. I can’t drive around for an entire night. I can’t play my music so loud it annoys an entire neighborhood. But I love my daughter, she’s the light of my life. But damn, I miss my life before her.
I needed this video so much. I don’t have my “village” from my family and don’t get very many breaks so to speak and I have to remember how strong I am. Us moms are incredible even when we couldn’t feel farther from it. Making mom friends has been a life saver. It’s so good to know you aren’t alone. Being a care taker is hard when you don’t feel cared about too. I had really bad postpartum depression and didn’t want to be alive so I’m proud of myself for waking up everyday and taking good care of my son. ❤️
I want to reach through this screen and hug you. Thank you for being so raw and real about this. I’m 6 weeks postpartum with my first, and boy it’s been a lot. It’s harder than I ever could have imagined. I hate when people ask me how motherhood is...I feel like I need to give this flowery answer about how magical it is, but it’s not at all. It’s freaking hard. I love my little boy so incredibly much, but some days I miss the old me. No task is a simple task anymore. A fussy baby makes every activity a big ordeal. I know it will get easier (and harder at the same time🤣🙈) but I need to hear this. I needed to know it’s ok not to love every moment of this journey.
You have such a beautiful spirit. Keep shining girl. Thank you for giving us other mamas out there hope and encouragement. 💙
I honestly never have had the feeling of wanting my life back before being a mom or hated being a mom. My husband and I both feel like being parents just added to our lives and rarely do date nights because we would rather have time as a family. One of the biggest things that helped me was the app wonder weeks (it helps explain infant behavior during the various stages) and my husband and I being very schedule orientated and home bodies before being parents. Yes the schedule changed but it helped already being use to scheduled life.
Omg thank you so much for giving me hope!