"Kale Propaganda" - Jim Gaffigan Standup (Obsessed)
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- Опубліковано 9 лип 2024
- Kale is a lie and we all know it! You cant fool me whole foods, I know it tastes like bug spray! Click subscribe for daily standup videos!
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Jim Gaffigan is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer and producer. He presently has 5 stand up specials on Netflix and 2 on Amazon Prime Video. He wrote 2 New York Times Best Sellers DAD IS FAT and FOOD: A Love Story He co-created and starred in a tv series based on his life called The Jim Gaffigan Show. He has appeared in numerous TV shows and films in both comedic and dramatic roles. - Розваги
Actually, if you cook kale in coconut oil, it makes it much easier to scoop into the trash can.
😂😂😂
Hahahaha 🤣 😂!! Lol 😅
Robert Comfort 😂👍
Love this! 😂
Hahaha
It's been scientifically proven that if you substitute kale for french fries, you will lose up to 90% of the joy you have in life...
I'll keep my fries & you can have your kale...IDGAF who is endorsing it.
😅
Back in the 80s-90s we used Kale to decorate the salad bar at the restaurant I worked at. No one ate it lol
A job i had over summer at high school back in 1986 was a gardener at the local zoo. We used to plant the traffic islands with what we called ornamental cabbage. It started to disappear in the evening and the head gardener was surprised anyone knew what it was. It was kale.
Lucky Duck , you're right! I remember that!
Exactly. Nobody eats "decorations."
SMH.
@@josephgaviota No one eats the decorations except candy canes, gingerbread houses, popcorn ropes, parsley, candied fruit and candied flowers. Ornamental ducks and pigeons at public parks have ended up on the menu.
@Lucky Duck *at the restaurant I worked". Or "restaurant where I worked." The second "at" on the end doesn't make sense and sounds so awkward.
"WholeFoods -It's like costco but instead of bulk, you get nothing " lol
Jim predicted that Amazon would buy Whole Foods, the proof is in this bit!
Until kale became the next big thing, the largest purchaser of kale in the United States was Pizza Hut, which used it for salad bar decorations, as someone mentioned below.
“I’ll take the loaf of bread made of wood” 😂🤣
Your humor brings me happiness.
Superb performance. Jim G. I am blaming you for getting me in trouble at outdoor church today. Our evangelist was reinforcing the idea that we are better as a group than as individuals. And began showing us ingredients for banana bread. Then asking us if we felt like eating the individual ingredients. At one point he held up a baggy of flour. He asked “who knows what this is?” I exclaimed in a loud clear voice for all to hear “Cocaine!”
You actual legend.
It is amazing how Jim manages to create humour out of today's dietary fads. His observations and assessments are dead on.
👍
He's the kinder version of George Carlin...
@@twicebittenthasme5545 lol cleaner too
He is soooooo talented! I’d love to see him in person.
@@twicebittenthasme5545 .. So true
He's so funny on simple everyday things.
yes,love him and im a new fan
"To be thin you eat things that look like cellulite! "
Kale... the dry-rot of the last human feeling you ever have...
the post-shows... I've watched it a thousand times and it still makes me giggle... xD
LOVE the Gaffigans !!!... :D
I like to dip my kale 🥬 in cooking oil, makes it slide right off my plate and into the trash can more easily.
🤣
I'll spend $60 at Whole Foods and walk out with one, well packed paper bag.
Matt G They don't call it 'Whole Paycheck' for nothing!!!
Now it’s $100 if you’re lucky
*Kale.*
*I prefer mine with a silent "K"! 😂*
*What do you call a Disney movie about vegetables?*
*A Fairy Kale. 🤭*
Lol 😅😆!!
"Propaganda", the second vowel is A. Love your comedy, I watch the videos or even just listen to them over and over almost every day as I go around my daily life.
Finally, someone speaks out about kale.
This man could literally do a whole special about the dictionary and I'd laugh by ass off I'm sure
Bug spray ingredients: real kale. OMG, Jim. Sooooo hysterical! 🤣😂🤣😂
Hi Jim , I think kale is the stuff stuck under your lawn mower , after you mowed a wet lawn ! 😜😁😂
So true!
@@bethgraham1505 Thanks Beth ! 😃
You know how sometimes, after you've mowed the lawn, you pick out some of the mowed grass moss with your finger and taste it? ..........Oh... no-one does that?
@@drinkinslim Hahaha , that's a good one !! 👍😂😂😂
John Roberts , it sure smells the same!
Laughed so hard I pulled a muscle watching this video. 😂😂😂
As a big proponent of kale and healthy living, I enjoyed your humorous takes here. Thanks Jim for cracking me up big time 😂.
So funny. My wife loves Whole Foods. Shy says there's no price for health. I tell her, yes there is...homelessness.
lmao! remind her of all the people that lost their jobs or have expensive medical expenses and whole foods hired police officers since customers started stealing because they can no longer afford WFM groceries.also remind her of their nickname "whole PAYCHECK market."
Lol. And if you’re eating kale, does it REALLY matter if it organic or whatever?
Lmaooooo
Great name
@@alysononoahu8702 - Thanks. It's from a Mel Brooks movie.
Not that one, it's poison ivy! ..wait can we make milk out of that? 😂
Jim you are amazing! You even make a yukky vegetable funny!!😂😂😂
I had a dr. once, tell me to stop taking my vitamins & just eat kale. I never went back.
Kale is absolutely disgusting, but we also need to stop pretending cauliflower is a good substitute for things like pizza crust, mashed potatoes and chicken wings.
Chicken wings, LOL 😂
uhhh.... cauliflower tater tots are delicious.
mark thurst 0.o
@@artistikitten try them try them, you will see!
@@artistikitten green giant is the best brand i have found.
This guy... It has an amazing flair... Being really funny whitout swear words or idiocracy ...i love him
In the natural industry Whole Foods is called Whole Paycheck! 😂
Jim is literally the funniest man in America..... love this guy...
You can't re-tell his jokes. His voices and timing are so perfect.
Each day in life you something new. Today I learned that one should never take a sip of coffee when this Jim guy is about to deliver his punchline. ( Great! Now who's gonna clean up this mess?)
One in the morning and I'm bark- laughing.😆🤣😂🤣🤣😛
I went to whole foods one time.. they got me with the salad bar lol.. it was like 20 bucks for a regular size salad
My own take on kale: 'Then The Devil said "I know! Let's convince them that kale is a food for humans", and all the demons ROARED with laughter.
😂😂😂😂
Hilarious !!!
"They could find out Kale cures cancer I'll still be like 'I'm just gonna do the chemo'"
*Same*
Replied. My mom died of cancer, so I'm really scared of cancer; but I agree, that made me laugh too.
I do have cancer and that made me laugh, the amount of "advice" I get from kale specialist it's not a joke 😂😂
My daughter made me a salad of "massaged kale". You crush hand fulls of it before you chop it up. It is sort of like pre-chewing.
Kale is not superfood. It's kryptonite for regular people.
“How many jokes is this guys gonna do about kale?” 😂 I use this Dead Sea mud mask on my face twice a week. It’s supposed to help with any impurities but so far It’s only helped on the surface 😂
This was my favorite!!!❤❤❤
Jim. that kaled !
I had someone tell me the secret to good kale is to massage it. I just fell out laughing, but she was serious
"Kale is very bitter spinach...with hair"😵😯 SO ACCURATE!🤣🤣
That is some standup gold😘
That was the best subscribe i have ever had
Yes, I had to start the day with a smile ! Thanks Mr. Gaffigan ! I am ready ! Or am I ?
One of my favorite comedians.
About Whole Foods and truly odd things they've sold: anyone remember their asparagus water. It wasn't cheap either (of course).
I spit my tea. "When you roll food...!"
OMG that sad droopy dog voice at the very end cracked me up so hard!!
‘ I’m not a yeti’ 😂😂
😂 he’s so funny, love him!
Kale no! What did you say? I'll say it again, OH KALE NO!
Wow... That was amazing. I also feel like we really connected.....
- Good stuff.
“a sandwich wand” 😂🤣
Haha... You had me at kale, and the Whole Foods bit... Thank you, Jim! We should swap cauliflower recipes...
Actually that was Amazing Jim, you should be Proud! You're Fuggin Hilarious!
"Hey fella, I like kale."
The key is getting the big leaf kale, those little curly kale leaves are acrid.
In the 80's, a popular restaurant chain used to serve food over kale leaves as garnish. Not liking to waste food, I would eat it. My friend would make fun of me. I remember asking him what this was and he said kale. Guess who got the last laugh. (Especially now that he's dead, sadly.)
Excellent....
Lmao. Do one on cauliflower.
"Just drink cow's milk, it tastes better than all the other milks!" Laughs in lactose intolerance. Also I'm surprised you didn't mention oat milk, tastes the best out of all of them.
goat* milk
Cows milk*
So,so funny and true!!
I like how Jim kind of predicted Amazon buying out Whole Foods.
"It's big in Europe" LMAO
Just for wanting to throw a bowl of kale at the mom...I gave you a thumb's up lol
This was hilarious!
Good stuff
Let's keep kale where it belongs, in the bunny's salad!
Kale is good 👌 I know it came Handy after there was no more toilet paper.
Kale rocks! I mean, kale tastes like rocks. I mean, I don't like kale. 👎
Rocks don't taste like much.
Do you mean it has the consistency of rocks?
@@Valjean666dk Rocks, like kale, do taste inconsistently. A major negative characteristic IMHO.
You've opened my eyes. I'm not going to eat rocks anymore.
🤣
"I'll put the rest on my Amazon Wishlist." Talk about a crazy concept! I can hear my dad (thank goodness he didn't have to experience ANY of the past few years!) saying, For what? You either need it or you don't, and we don't! LOL Jim, you're a true observer of this madness! What's next--recycled leaves?! Keep it coming, man!
I made kale chips one time and it stunk up the whole house. I think a decomposing body would smell better. I threw away my good Tupperware bowl I had put it in.
okay fried kale with garlic and oil IS SOOOOO GOOOOOD
@@johnpossum556 ik
@Rick james yes
@Rick james um Kinda hurt that he said that 😭 XD
@Howie Felterbush nah
@Howie Felterbush no try it its so good trust me
Kale is one of the most heavily sprayed crops with pesticides. He may have actually tasted bug spray.
Thank you. 👍
There`s no way you mess around with Big Jim Walker .
Love kale salad! And I find this funny! It's good to eat healthy and have good sense humor.
Ha-ha! I loved kale thirty years before it became a fad. I love all greens, but especially kale and collard greens. I think it has something to do with liking bitter flavors, because I also love dandelion greens, citrus peel, arugula, cranberries, and Bitters added to drink like tonic water with bitters or an Old Fashioned.
collard greens, the other stupid idea for food.
@@AbsoluteNut1 Collard greens are in the kale family but in my opinion, taste way better. Traditional methods involve boiling for hours with a ham hock but I like them just wilted with just about anything savory.
Never ever "sneak" kale into foods and then disclose to those eating that you've done so.
The 11th commandment:
Thou shalt not lie about kale!😜
How and why are their any thumbs down.. this guy is hahahahalarious
Those may be from celiac ppl
celiac vegans who like kale
Kale was in the audience.
Jim Gaffigan makes me laugh again; thanks Jim Gaffigan!
Jim, I like your video in this pandemic time.
The Wholefoods bit is so true 🤦♂️🤣.
Love the health jokes
I lost 17 lbs in six weeks , using Kale. A kale/ mango/protein powder smoothie, twice a day. Very filling very healthy. i would have lost much more, but I had reached my goal . Highly recommended .
I love your work Jim. Not the outro. =8^)
Your amazing
In all the talk about kale...Does anyone remember Woody Boyd making a commercial for kale juice? "You can really taste the kale."
Too damn funny. When you roll things it takes the calories out. I laughed throughout! The Whole Foods thing was great and true.
I also heard that cookies experience calorie deflation when you break them up 🙌
pretty sharp stuff bud lol
When the server asks you if you want an egg white omlet.
No ty I don't want the stuff the chicken needs to live, I want the delicious yolk that turns into the chicken.
Mmmmmm.... dipping mounds of white buttered up bread in egg yolks.
I never thought I'd miss a bacon joke. 😕
😂
Hilarious lol
It has gone crazy!! They got to Chef Pepin!!!!!
OMG!!! The first episode I saw when he added the demon weed kale to a dish, I gave up on watching his shows. My eyes have cataracts and I dont see so well. Bought some tortelini salad with what I thought was spinach. Turned out to be vile kale. It was particularly aweful. Tossed it in the trash. Cant wait for baked nonfat, gluten free, reduced sodium, flavor resistent, organic, nonwheat, noncorn, nonbarley, high plant protein, PBAOF free, nonfree radical, first cold pressed, dessicated, reduced oxyhydrogen, preservative free kale essence. I will invest in that stock heavily and always keep several kilos in my pantry so I can add it to everything with my plant based refurbished power protein collagen powder.
If you chop it up and mix it with milder greens, it’s good. Sprinkle some good fats on there. It’s great.
Hilarious that the ad that ran before this was one for Hello Fresh. You know, kale and crap. LOL
Ta Da! So funny!
I cook kale with garlic, onions, vinegar and lots of bacon. Bacon is the key to great tasting kale. 🤣 The best kale I ever had was baked under chicken. Bone in and skin on. Adding unhealthy ingredients makes kale delicious.