"Ruby", I am a 51 year old man, almost exactly in the place stated in the letter. I find myself amazed at the stupidity of so many of my choices, and where that has gotten me. Alone is hard, so very hard, that I fully understand. Thanks for sharing this lesson and for its relatability.
Ruby's description of her struggles and upbringing very closely mirror my own experience. I am 62, single have not had a serious relationship in decades and fully employed but in a career that I don't enjoy. I spend a lot of time alone these days. I guess a lot of us do. But I never struggled with that before and being alone is or feeling lonely as one of the worst experiences there is. At least to me it is. I understand to her struggle with not feeling like she's afraid. Appreciate the clarity Anna. Best of luck to Ruby.
R McD and Ruby, and Anna too, I so relate to this. I am 51 this year too. I am unpicking a lot where I have emotionally damped issues which is numbing of my limbic feelings. In my situation I isolate and avoid and feel alone. This particular video practice is very good, thank you Anna. I found your work as a friend who also had has *extreme* multilayed CPTSD and helps people like you Anna with a technique, though he himself does not "feel heard" when he dysregulates. I see it, but he does not. I am very numb to my own limbic feelings due to my upbringing observing a massively disfunctional marriage of my parents (my late father had an affair for 27 years with someone very close to our family and I was unaware of it until 8 years after he passed. It started to come out through doing inner work). I have numbed my feelings to the point of almost being flat/damped and had/have major trust issues as some key early emotional events created some deep subconscious beliefs I am working on clearing and bringing to my conscious mind. The daily practice is something I am just starting to work on, however as I have tried a multitude of other things that worked for others, but me less so or not at all.. I have fear the daily practice won't work for me. I have fear I will fail again.
Im only in my 30's and find myself in a similar place in life and my own self perception, I'm subject to these fears like the rest of us here. We tend to forget that while we may not have the connection we desire that we are not subject to toxic and emotionally predatorial connections with significant others and/or family members and while we wait for better things to come we can improve ourselves. It took incredible strength for us to break those horrible cycles and even though we might not have a romantic life partner right now it's important to remember that love can find us at any age. It's important to remember that we broke free from the past and that one day we will find a real and healthy connection. Most of us forget that many are unhappily partnered and that's no way to live.
I've heard you talk about the daily practice *a lot*, but I'm so excited that you've answered one of my questions about it that I've had for a while. Guilt, shame, and remorse to be written as 'resentment at self.' Helpful. Thank you!
This video is a perfect interpretation of the essence of Daily Practice to me. After watching it three times and reading the comments, I finally understand why it's important to keep practicing to clarify my fear and resentment. Because of CPTSD, I am just not aware of this reality: I LIVE IN fear and resentment EVERYDAY, which is why I feel there is no fear when I practice. Just like we breathe every minute, but we are not aware of the air! Thank you, Rudy, for being brave to write the letter. Thank you, Anna, for re-phrase the letter with all the "fear" and "resentful".
You are brilliant, Anna. You've empowered us with the daily practice, and the demonstration was powerful. I rely on D.P several times a day. Did I say that on the days I don't have a pen I 'write' on my pant leg? Lol. There's pens in the car now.
I can relate to Ruby. I am in my mid- 50s, divorced, no kids, living alone in my RV, and have lost hope of ever meeting someone to share my senior years with. I lost most of my money due to my failed marriage and am very envious of my highly success brother, who has a beautiful family. I feel like a loser in life.
I hope you stay with this program, and that she can help you. I feel like anyone who can be as honest and aware about how they feel as you have just done, can't be 'a loser', even if it feels like that right now. And she really is helpful.
This letter was me, so crazy how parallel Ruby's life is, frighteningly close, almost "to the letter". You are worth every minute it takes to get the healing available.
I'm working on this practice. I'm grateful for it. Thank-you! Writing about fears and resentments is a way to consume the pain that can heal us. "Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding, It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self. Therefore trust the physician and drink his remedy in silence and tranquility." Khalil Gibran
Daily practice: Anything that is not calm and peace could be fear. Anything that is shame or guit can be resentment. Accept its existence; Find it; Write it down; Release and heal from it.
I appreciate you sharing how to apply the daily practice fears to everything that isn't calm and peace. That totally makes sense! I started doing the daily practice a few months ago and I always ended up feeling worse rather than a little better. I decided to do this as a tapping/eft exercise and it's been wonderful. Thanks for sharing this wonderful technique!
This answer is a bit late, and unsolicited, but in case anyone is reading this, Anna said that if we end up feeling worse after the daily practice, we may be digging to deep. The solution, as I have understood from this channel, is not always to feel all of our feelings, because we can then get dysregulated.
I can relate to Ruby, and I hear you… I regret so much too! My husband’s slow demise from hopeless addiction to medically subscribed medication. My selfish, self centeredness while my daughter was a fragile beautiful little girl, too busy trying to survive & keep a roof over our heads & trying to keep my husband alive to b really emotionally available to my daughter!! Only physically, but as emotionally checked as my own parents. And still checked after his passing until to learn recently I HAVE CPTSD, on top of my severe adhd & my own recovery from addiction..but finding this channel has been life changing. Except what if u realize in your daily practise that most of my resentment is directed at MYSELF? what a shitty self centered human being I have been my whole life?
I love you for having the power to look right into your pain. In the Daily Practice, resentment at self is one of the big resentments. All shame, guilt, regret is resentment at self, because you have fear (whatever it is). Good work!!! Hope is here!
WOW!!!! THIS REALLY HELPED! I better understand how to write the daily practice! !!!! I've been putting it off cause I didn't understand HOW!!!!! THANK YOU! !!!!!!!!
I could relate so much to Ruby’s story, like oh my God!!! Even what she said about how there would be no acknowledgement from her mother; I was adopted when I was 3 & although my birth mom & I had reconnected in 2017 & become close over the years, due to the conversations we’ve had, these are not conversations that I could have with my adopted mom, because I know that she won’t acknowledge certain things. I also can relate with Ruby about what she says about not necessarily having a crappy childhood, my adopted mom wasn’t a horrible parent, but there definitely was emotional neglect & lot of dysfunction & coupled with the adoption where I recognize was something I didn’t have a say in, was out of my control, that I recognize now how impactful that is for an adult trying to sift through & understand how it affects your adult life. I can also relate to the sister dynamic; the impression that my younger sister must be stable, because she married the guy she’s been married to for several years. However, she’s physically unhealthy & has got deep seeded anger & resentment over a lot of things from early childhood… we were both adopted & not blood. Her stuff has also strained our relationship our entire life & no attempt that I have made to be a sister to her is ever successful in the long run.
This is helpful. It puts it in perspective just how much fear people carry around. I think it sneaks up on us. I was reminded of how the Bible speaks of being rooted and grounded in the love of God. This video helped give me some more understanding in that area. Thank you!
It's tough for us C-PTSD sufferers who didnt get anywhere near this type of love as children. My prayer is that all of you will experience this "perfect love," as healing adults, no matter what your age.
Now I understand the daily practice more. I'm going to investigate this process and see if I can put it into action. I do think it's important to sit down and write our thoughts but this seems to be very proactive. Thank you for this method. And thank you for caring about and helping so many people. I enjoy your videos and you are a blessing.
I think I'm going to write out a journal style page and then go back through it and 'tag' fear and resentment like Anna did with Ruby's letter. I struggle giving names to my emotions and concerns however I write quite freely. This is a wonderful idea, Anna, thank you so much. I wish you all a pleasant rest of your day :)
I'm glad you're moved, but I encourage you to write FRESH, not go back over your journal. I was not recommending this as a technique -- only to show the letter writer (using her own letter) how her feelings can be written. In the Daily Practice, the goal is to get into present time and to unhook from all at the old hurts.
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Thank you for the feedback. I intended to write a page in the present eg "this and this is going on, I'm avoiding X, so&so is seen as ABC when they're really EFG, etc" and then tag it. I don't know if I'm explaining myself clearly - didn't mean crack out the archives! :) Thank you for everything you do, I really appreciate HOW you speak about topics.
@@toriahennesey I realize now that you didn't need what she responded to you but I did😅. It's great how this works and I love that we're cheering each other on.
Thank you for offering this practice. I truly underestimated the effect of a daily practice of any sort, then recall trying Morning Pages Journal by Julia Cameron and truly seeing the change. I’ll definitely be picking up the daily practice now that it’s clearer to me. I appreciate you.
I am fifty. I got diabetes at the age of 14 because of the torment I faced in my home. All my life I was cheated and played with physically and emotionally by almost all men with whom I had close relationship, especially my father and brother. Recently I got diabetic neuropathy after being tortured during the corona lockdown. I found that certain pranayams - anulom vilom and Nadi shodhan help to restore the nervous system and wash away the trauma stored in the body. 🙏
Sometimes an algorithm does help. You've given one a conduit to understanding how the mechanism of one's parents c.p.s.d. can cascade into future generations. Be well and stay safe. UK.
What a great letter. Their is a theme here in the group; one sibling is trouble and the other is "perfect" but controlling. I like the writing tool. I will try it. (I had to rewind to really hear the instructions as the topic is so triggering. I can relate to Ruby.)
this video is quite clarifying, like when therapists role model healthy and unhealthy interactions in role playing. Can you do this same thing with other letters? I think it will help us translate our thinking into daily practice writing. Thanks for all you do, Anna!
the resentment behind shame and guilt really hit me, i'm in a constant cycle of those two emotions and i can recognise the fear driving them i dont know what to do about fear though i'm overly fixated on definitions so to me fear being a feeling of danger, the loss or lack of safety, i have a really hard time sitting with it, i find its inevitability excrutiating to accept :(
This video popped up in my feed & I felt drawn to watch. Interesting the length of it is 14:14, & if you look up that Angel number, it’s about elevating your thoughts to a more positive state & giving your fears & worries to God & the angels for transmutation. So fitting. ☺️🙏🏻✨ After watching just some of the video, I feel like I must have childhood PTSD, because it perfectly explains the number of times in my life that I’ve literally self sabotaged my happiness & knowing on some level that I was. Sometimes I knew in the moment & sometimes, I could feel it coming & it would low key scare the shit out of me, but I didn’t know how to stop it. I always felt like any happiness that I experienced was short-lived & it got to the point where I could literally time it down to an average number of months. 3-4 months specifically, was like the turning point or when shit would hit the fan one way or another. I constantly felt at a loss as to how how to move past it. It was like I would experience some high in my life, but then a part of me was resistant to allowing mySelf to feel it, because I knew that it would end. The interesting thing, is that when it came to being open to loving & caring for someone, I never really closed mySelf off to that. The dominant part of me always operated with an open heart space. Yet inevitably, shit would still hit the fan within 3-4 months at the hands of the other person. So I find myself being more willing to be receptive & open up to others, than I am to my own Self… & that was my undoing.
All I wanna say here is that if Ruby lives in California, it's not a "fear" about not being able to buy a house; it's a fact for about 80% of those who live here. So welcome to the neighborhood. We're not even scared anymore. We just accept it. Thank God the weather's gorgeous :-D
I have been trying to figure out how to respond back to one of my abusers! They were telling me to confront the pedophile/perpetrator now that I'm a grown adult woman! I was around 17-19 because I had alot of shame, guilt and thought I was the one that would destroy the family! When I came out to my grandmother in a letter because I was crying so I told her what her husband said to me he did touch me he was rubbing his foot against mine! I was frozen everytime he was groom me! They were telling me what to do and they would say they are just giving their opinion and suggestions well belittling me! I keep rewriting it so since I keep telling myself to rewrite it and I decided there is no point in sending it! Because of the response I have already gotten! Which is common with this family! I have decided to delete her message and not respond back! They would always tell me to be the better person no matter what! They just let it go and let the perpetrators off the hook! That I'm ungrateful! That I have lost my compassion! My father even told me when he flipped the fuck out that I'm a worthless bitch! That I will get pregnant before I get married! I have been mentally, sexually and physically abused!
I would suggest focusing on some healing strategies for now- staying regulated is important to gain clarity. We can help with that kind of support- the Daily Practice listed here is a free course and a strong beginning courses.crappychildhoodfairy.com -Cara@TeamFairy
I added one more exercise after the I placed the word fear. I then replaced the word fear with "Safe" and started crying and let out a large sigh of relief. This world has suddenly become such an unsafe place to be. We all are stressed to different degrees. And there is no escape. I wonder if there is some alien force threatening us humans on Earth.
WOW !!!!!!!! i love your content, LOVE YR VIDEOS !!!! REMIND me OF ALICE E . MILLER DRAMA OF THE GIFTED CHILD , BUT EASier to absorb and assimilate. nicely down to Earth
I am interested in zoom calls. I battle fear. We have lost all jobs and in crisis due to covid-19. Being in my early 60s jobs are not available.Things are not good having illness and no health insurance. Its is scary. Trying faith over fear. Thank you.
At first I did what I could with the daily practice. Sometimes i meditated for 5 minutes other times id write and dig up stuff instead of simply sticking to what comes up. Other times I wouldnt be able to understand what was going on within me. Yet, little by little it has been helping. The mind has been less foggy, Im a little less anxious, a little less agitated. A little less triggered. Still very much triggered. But its helping. I hope ill soon have peace and clarity. I hope that with consistency my thoughts will change and ill make less mistakes, less dumb decisions that only lead to heartbreak. Having the mind lower its volume has been life changing.
What will you suggest the people for whom the daily practice doesn't work.... Even after writing down fears and resentments and meditating, I find myself generally sad about my life and angry that I did not deserve this. I cannot get through my day without feeling restlessness every now and then. I want to be able to feel better and handle my life in a better way. But I just can't do it. What do I do? Help me
Everyone who registers for the course gets call schedule reminders from me ever couple of weeks. Perhaps you unsubscribed from e-mails? if so, sign up for the DP again, and you'll be back on the list.
When the person has cptsd and they are on opioids medication you talk how they feel. But where does that leave me. How am I suppose to feel. What they do just effect s me. Any answers
Loving an addict of this caliber (you write about her in every comment) is hell, until you can lose all expectation that they can or will change, and decide for yourself what you ant to do about it.
Hmmm. You seem to be putting the word “fear” in front of situations in the letter that would be better served using the words “I resent” or “I’m angry”. Granted, I haven’t taken your Daily Practice course so there’s probably a reason you attribute most things to fear, just a observation.
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy you said in your free course that if we mention while we write the fears and resentment it would justify the fear and would rather work not to get off but would stay because of the cause which maybe real, but not necessary when we need to abandon those. In the letter by Ruby, she mentioned the cause also between the lines. My question is, though you told not to write those causes why while differentiating the mail, you integrated the causes as also the fears. Thank you🙂
OK, it sounds like I need to say this better! There is no rule not to write what you believe the cause the cause of your fears are. But even your beliefs about the cause begin "I have fear..." So if causes are on your mind, you might write, "I have fear I look weak because fear I didn't speak up because fear when I was a kid I got punished for speaking up... (etc.). When you notice you are resentful, you write "I am resentful at my dad because I have fear he made fun of me when I spoke up as a teenager." You DON'T say "I am resentful at my dad because he made fun of me." In this technique, we break our habit of assigning "cause" to everything outside ourselves (even when people and situations were hurtful or unjust). To get free, we accept that our "stuck" thinking is caused by fear.
"Ruby", I am a 51 year old man, almost exactly in the place stated in the letter. I find myself amazed at the stupidity of so many of my choices, and where that has gotten me. Alone is hard, so very hard, that I fully understand. Thanks for sharing this lesson and for its relatability.
Thank you for putting yourself out there too :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
Ruby, your letter sounds like I could have written it about myself!!!
Ruby's description of her struggles and upbringing very closely mirror my own experience. I am 62, single have not had a serious relationship in decades and fully employed but in a career that I don't enjoy. I spend a lot of time alone these days. I guess a lot of us do. But I never struggled with that before and being alone is or feeling lonely as one of the worst experiences there is. At least to me it is. I understand to her struggle with not feeling like she's afraid. Appreciate the clarity Anna. Best of luck to Ruby.
R McD : maybe you had to be "stupid" in order to protect yourself from hard times, emotionally. Perhaps they were life preserving decisions.
R McD and Ruby, and Anna too,
I so relate to this. I am 51 this year too.
I am unpicking a lot where I have emotionally damped issues which is numbing of my limbic feelings. In my situation I isolate and avoid and feel alone.
This particular video practice is very good, thank you Anna.
I found your work as a friend who also had has *extreme* multilayed CPTSD and helps people like you Anna with a technique, though he himself does not "feel heard" when he dysregulates. I see it, but he does not. I am very numb to my own limbic feelings due to my upbringing observing a massively disfunctional marriage of my parents (my late father had an affair for 27 years with someone very close to our family and I was unaware of it until 8 years after he passed. It started to come out through doing inner work). I have numbed my feelings to the point of almost being flat/damped and had/have major trust issues as some key early emotional events created some deep subconscious beliefs I am working on clearing and bringing to my conscious mind.
The daily practice is something I am just starting to work on, however as I have tried a multitude of other things that worked for others, but me less so or not at all..
I have fear the daily practice won't work for me.
I have fear I will fail again.
Im only in my 30's and find myself in a similar place in life and my own self perception, I'm subject to these fears like the rest of us here. We tend to forget that while we may not have the connection we desire that we are not subject to toxic and emotionally predatorial connections with significant others and/or family members and while we wait for better things to come we can improve ourselves. It took incredible strength for us to break those horrible cycles and even though we might not have a romantic life partner right now it's important to remember that love can find us at any age. It's important to remember that we broke free from the past and that one day we will find a real and healthy connection. Most of us forget that many are unhappily partnered and that's no way to live.
So well put :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
I've heard you talk about the daily practice *a lot*, but I'm so excited that you've answered one of my questions about it that I've had for a while. Guilt, shame, and remorse to be written as 'resentment at self.' Helpful. Thank you!
Glad it was helpful!
-Cara@TeamFairy
This really hits home for me. Fear seems to be my primary motivation in life.
This video is a perfect interpretation of the essence of Daily Practice to me. After watching it three times and reading the comments, I finally understand why it's important to keep practicing to clarify my fear and resentment.
Because of CPTSD, I am just not aware of this reality: I LIVE IN fear and resentment EVERYDAY, which is why I feel there is no fear when I practice. Just like we breathe every minute, but we are not aware of the air!
Thank you, Rudy, for being brave to write the letter. Thank you, Anna, for re-phrase the letter with all the "fear" and "resentful".
I'm so glad it helped, please also attend Anna's Daily Practice groups :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
I struggle with fear and worry all the time... I work on it with my therapist and support group ...
That's great!
-Cara@TeamFairy
You are brilliant, Anna. You've empowered us with the daily practice, and the demonstration was powerful. I rely on D.P several times a day. Did I say that on the days I don't have a pen I 'write' on my pant leg? Lol. There's pens in the car now.
Yay! Pens everywhere!
I can relate to Ruby. I am in my mid- 50s, divorced, no kids, living alone in my RV, and have lost hope of ever meeting someone to share my senior years with. I lost most of my money due to my failed marriage and am very envious of my highly success brother, who has a beautiful family. I feel like a loser in life.
I hope you stay with this program, and that she can help you. I feel like anyone who can be as honest and aware about how they feel as you have just done, can't be 'a loser', even if it feels like that right now. And she really is helpful.
You'll come to know you're not a loser, even if you feel like it right now. 🙋 Let's all keep cheering each other on!
@@HidingPlainSight Thank you
@@jen-dy6tm Thank you
Your brother allows you to visit and stay a weekend or no..?
Go purchase a lady for a 1/2 hour….
This letter was me, so crazy how parallel Ruby's life is, frighteningly close, almost "to the letter". You are worth every minute it takes to get the healing available.
I'm working on this practice. I'm grateful for it. Thank-you! Writing about fears and resentments is a way to consume the pain that can heal us.
"Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding,
It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician and drink his remedy in silence and tranquility."
Khalil Gibran
So glad you are giving it a try!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Daily practice:
Anything that is not calm and peace could be fear.
Anything that is shame or guit can be resentment.
Accept its existence;
Find it;
Write it down;
Release and heal from it.
Simple and effective practice :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
I love. how you worked out the problem piece by peace . I signed up and do the daily practice. I notice the days I do it I don’t have nightmares!
That's amazing! Thanks for sharing :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I appreciate you sharing how to apply the daily practice fears to everything that isn't calm and peace. That totally makes sense! I started doing the daily practice a few months ago and I always ended up feeling worse rather than a little better. I decided to do this as a tapping/eft exercise and it's been wonderful. Thanks for sharing this wonderful technique!
Glad it's useful :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
Have you found Bradley Yates EFT UA-cam? Also very good..
This answer is a bit late, and unsolicited, but in case anyone is reading this, Anna said that if we end up feeling worse after the daily practice, we may be digging to deep. The solution, as I have understood from this channel, is not always to feel all of our feelings, because we can then get dysregulated.
@@ragga7862 I just address the feelings that come up as I'm doing it. I don't need to dig. Doing the tapping helps me even when it's more surface.
@@jejrstans I just started doing the daily practice, I hope it works. Good to hear you find it helpful!
I can relate to Ruby, and I hear you… I regret so much too! My husband’s slow demise from hopeless addiction to medically subscribed medication. My selfish, self centeredness while my daughter was a fragile beautiful little girl, too busy trying to survive & keep a roof over our heads & trying to keep my husband alive to b really emotionally available to my daughter!! Only physically, but as emotionally checked as my own parents. And still checked after his passing until to learn recently I HAVE CPTSD, on top of my severe adhd & my own recovery from addiction..but finding this channel has been life changing. Except what if u realize in your daily practise that most of my resentment is directed at MYSELF? what a shitty self centered human being I have been my whole life?
I love you for having the power to look right into your pain. In the Daily Practice, resentment at self is one of the big resentments. All shame, guilt, regret is resentment at self, because you have fear (whatever it is). Good work!!! Hope is here!
Thank you. I was having trouble with the definition of fear, too. This will help me do the daily practice.
Glad the video was helpful! -Calista@TeamFairy
I love this. What a great video. Ann, you were amazing. I can relate with you, "Ruby!" You're not alone, and your words were wonderfully spoken.
Thank you so much!
WOW!!!! THIS REALLY HELPED! I better understand how to write the daily practice! !!!! I've been putting it off cause I didn't understand HOW!!!!! THANK YOU! !!!!!!!!
I did not understand it eather. So, I have to fill in 'fear' before every sentence?
Me too!!
I've been putting it off
@Susan_Mills Yay! Glad the video helped to clear up the practice
-Cara@TeamFairy
Go, Susan! ❤️ it REALLY makes a huge difference 😊 I'm happy for us all and thanking God for Anna.
@@mirjama1813 I don't but I think it each time 🙋
I could relate so much to Ruby’s story, like oh my God!!! Even what she said about how there would be no acknowledgement from her mother; I was adopted when I was 3 & although my birth mom & I had reconnected in 2017 & become close over the years, due to the conversations we’ve had, these are not conversations that I could have with my adopted mom, because I know that she won’t acknowledge certain things. I also can relate with Ruby about what she says about not necessarily having a crappy childhood, my adopted mom wasn’t a horrible parent, but there definitely was emotional neglect & lot of dysfunction & coupled with the adoption where I recognize was something I didn’t have a say in, was out of my control, that I recognize now how impactful that is for an adult trying to sift through & understand how it affects your adult life.
I can also relate to the sister dynamic; the impression that my younger sister must be stable, because she married the guy she’s been married to for several years. However, she’s physically unhealthy & has got deep seeded anger & resentment over a lot of things from early childhood… we were both adopted & not blood. Her stuff has also strained our relationship our entire life & no attempt that I have made to be a sister to her is ever successful in the long run.
Thanks for sharing your relatedness with Ruby and with us :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
This is helpful. It puts it in perspective just how much fear people carry around. I think it sneaks up on us. I was reminded of how the Bible speaks of being rooted and grounded in the love of God. This video helped give me some more understanding in that area. Thank you!
Yes. And "perfect love casts out all fear"!
Appreciate you commenting!
-Cara@TeamFairy
It's tough for us C-PTSD sufferers who didnt get anywhere near this type of love as children. My prayer is that all of you will experience this "perfect love," as healing adults, no matter what your age.
Now I understand the daily practice more. I'm going to investigate this process and see if I can put it into action. I do think it's important to sit down and write our thoughts but this seems to be very proactive. Thank you for this method. And thank you for caring about and helping so many people. I enjoy your videos and you are a blessing.
Thank you! Perhaps I should tuck the part of this video where I read both versions of the letter, into the free course.
I think I'm going to write out a journal style page and then go back through it and 'tag' fear and resentment like Anna did with Ruby's letter. I struggle giving names to my emotions and concerns however I write quite freely. This is a wonderful idea, Anna, thank you so much. I wish you all a pleasant rest of your day :)
I'm glad you're moved, but I encourage you to write FRESH, not go back over your journal. I was not recommending this as a technique -- only to show the letter writer (using her own letter) how her feelings can be written. In the Daily Practice, the goal is to get into present time and to unhook from all at the old hurts.
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Thank you for the feedback. I intended to write a page in the present eg "this and this is going on, I'm avoiding X, so&so is seen as ABC when they're really EFG, etc" and then tag it. I don't know if I'm explaining myself clearly - didn't mean crack out the archives! :) Thank you for everything you do, I really appreciate HOW you speak about topics.
@@toriahennesey I realize now that you didn't need what she responded to you but I did😅. It's great how this works and I love that we're cheering each other on.
Thank you for offering this practice. I truly underestimated the effect of a daily practice of any sort, then recall trying Morning Pages Journal by Julia Cameron and truly seeing the change. I’ll definitely be picking up the daily practice now that it’s clearer to me. I appreciate you.
That's great to hear :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
I am fifty. I got diabetes at the age of 14 because of the torment I faced in my home. All my life I was cheated and played with physically and emotionally by almost all men with whom I had close relationship, especially my father and brother.
Recently I got diabetic neuropathy after being tortured during the corona lockdown.
I found that certain pranayams - anulom vilom and Nadi shodhan help to restore the nervous system and wash away the trauma stored in the body. 🙏
Sometimes an algorithm does help. You've given one a conduit to understanding how the mechanism of one's parents c.p.s.d. can cascade into future generations. Be well and stay safe. UK.
Appreciate you watching!
-Cara@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy appreciate how this channel has helped. Thank you very much indeed.
Thanks for the letter, Ruby and thanks CCF for walking everyone through how the daily practice might work. I believe I will try it!
Please do!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Wow. This technique sounds very powerful. And your explanations so unexpectedly clear
Glad you think so!
-Cara@TeamFairy
The letter Ruby...resonates with me....I cried...thank you...for these videos
Thank you for sharing with Ruby that you relate!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Love this!!
Thank you for all you do.
Thanks for watching!
-Cara@TeamFairy
This hit home. Ruby , I can relate...I am going to have to listen to this again and do the practice...
Great!
-Cara@TeamFairy
What a great letter. Their is a theme here in the group; one sibling is trouble and the other is "perfect" but controlling. I like the writing tool. I will try it. (I had to rewind to really hear the instructions as the topic is so triggering. I can relate to Ruby.)
this video is quite clarifying, like when therapists role model healthy and unhealthy interactions in role playing. Can you do this same thing with other letters? I think it will help us translate our thinking into daily practice writing. Thanks for all you do, Anna!
Please send questions about this -- hello@crappychildhoodfairy.com. Put "Ask the Fairy" as subject.
Thank you Ruby & Anna. I needed to hear this!
Glad it was helpful!
-Cara@TeamFairy
This video was quite helpful, thank you.
Glad to hear it!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Hi Anna I'm really grateful for all the links you suggest. With the different doctors and lectures thank you
Thank YOU for being here :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
the resentment behind shame and guilt really hit me, i'm in a constant cycle of those two emotions and i can recognise the fear driving them
i dont know what to do about fear though
i'm overly fixated on definitions so to me fear being a feeling of danger, the loss or lack of safety, i have a really hard time sitting with it, i find its inevitability excrutiating to accept :(
This video popped up in my feed & I felt drawn to watch. Interesting the length of it is 14:14, & if you look up that Angel number, it’s about elevating your thoughts to a more positive state & giving your fears & worries to God & the angels for transmutation. So fitting. ☺️🙏🏻✨
After watching just some of the video, I feel like I must have childhood PTSD, because it perfectly explains the number of times in my life that I’ve literally self sabotaged my happiness & knowing on some level that I was. Sometimes I knew in the moment & sometimes, I could feel it coming & it would low key scare the shit out of me, but I didn’t know how to stop it. I always felt like any happiness that I experienced was short-lived & it got to the point where I could literally time it down to an average number of months. 3-4 months specifically, was like the turning point or when shit would hit the fan one way or another. I constantly felt at a loss as to how how to move past it. It was like I would experience some high in my life, but then a part of me was resistant to allowing mySelf to feel it, because I knew that it would end. The interesting thing, is that when it came to being open to loving & caring for someone, I never really closed mySelf off to that. The dominant part of me always operated with an open heart space. Yet inevitably, shit would still hit the fan within 3-4 months at the hands of the other person. So I find myself being more willing to be receptive & open up to others, than I am to my own Self… & that was my undoing.
Thanks for sharing and welcome to the Channel!
-Cara@TeamFairy
I had the same experience. One of the crappy childhood videos popped up and I subscribed. Now things are all clear got many answers
This was a really good one Anna! Thank you!
Glad it was helpful :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
Thanks for the video! 🥰
Thanks for watching!
-Cara@TeamFairy
The pdf is excellent and practically does it for you. But it works.
All I wanna say here is that if Ruby lives in California, it's not a "fear" about not being able to buy a house; it's a fact for about 80% of those who live here. So welcome to the neighborhood. We're not even scared anymore. We just accept it. Thank God the weather's gorgeous :-D
I live in CA and I know what you mean. But in the Daily Practice, all distressing thoughts go on paper as fears.
Your channel has helped me and my family alot ♡ tysm for what you do
Thanks for the Fairy love :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
I have been trying to figure out how to respond back to one of my abusers! They were telling me to confront the pedophile/perpetrator now that I'm a grown adult woman! I was around 17-19 because I had alot of shame, guilt and thought I was the one that would destroy the family! When I came out to my grandmother in a letter because I was crying so I told her what her husband said to me he did touch me he was rubbing his foot against mine! I was frozen everytime he was groom me!
They were telling me what to do and they would say they are just giving their opinion and suggestions well belittling me!
I keep rewriting it so since I keep telling myself to rewrite it and I decided there is no point in sending it! Because of the response I have already gotten! Which is common with this family! I have decided to delete her message and not respond back!
They would always tell me to be the better person no matter what! They just let it go and let the perpetrators off the hook! That I'm ungrateful! That I have lost my compassion! My father even told me when he flipped the fuck out that I'm a worthless bitch! That I will get pregnant before I get married! I have been mentally, sexually and physically abused!
I would suggest focusing on some healing strategies for now- staying regulated is important to gain clarity. We can help with that kind of support- the Daily Practice listed here is a free course and a strong beginning courses.crappychildhoodfairy.com
-Cara@TeamFairy
Thank you so much 🌟💕
Thank you so much for watching!
-Cara@TeamFairy
I added one more exercise after the I placed the word fear. I then replaced the word fear with "Safe" and started crying and let out a large sigh of relief. This world has suddenly become such an unsafe place to be. We all are stressed to different degrees. And there is no escape. I wonder if there is some alien force threatening us humans on Earth.
WOW !!!!!!!! i love your content, LOVE YR VIDEOS !!!! REMIND me OF ALICE E . MILLER DRAMA OF THE GIFTED CHILD , BUT EASier to absorb and assimilate. nicely down to Earth
Thanks for sharing!
-Cara@TeamFairy
This video pushes me to go deeper with your work Anna!!!
I've only been watching your videos!! 091021
I have no fear.
I'm the bad guy. It never stops.
I have a lot of fears
Sending you encouragement!
-Calista@TeamFairy
I am interested in zoom calls. I battle fear. We have lost all jobs and in crisis due to covid-19. Being in my early 60s jobs are not available.Things are not good having illness and no health insurance. Its is scary. Trying faith over fear. Thank you.
Thanks for being here!
-Cara@TeamFairy
At first I did what I could with the daily practice. Sometimes i meditated for 5 minutes other times id write and dig up stuff instead of simply sticking to what comes up. Other times I wouldnt be able to understand what was going on within me. Yet, little by little it has been helping. The mind has been less foggy, Im a little less anxious, a little less agitated. A little less triggered. Still very much triggered. But its helping. I hope ill soon have peace and clarity. I hope that with consistency my thoughts will change and ill make less mistakes, less dumb decisions that only lead to heartbreak. Having the mind lower its volume has been life changing.
Fear is exhausting. i hope to drop dead soon because the abuse & neglect just won't ever end until i do.
I need to deal with Scrupulosity as well.
Thanks for watching!
-Cara@TeamFairy
This exercise sort of reminds me of Byron Katie’s, “Is it true”? exercise.
Annoyed and Upset me
Such sad stories 😭
Love you
Thanks for sending Fairy some love :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
The Lord did not give us a spirit of fear
What will you suggest the people for whom the daily practice doesn't work.... Even after writing down fears and resentments and meditating, I find myself generally sad about my life and angry that I did not deserve this. I cannot get through my day without feeling restlessness every now and then. I want to be able to feel better and handle my life in a better way. But I just can't do it. What do I do? Help me
Have you taken the course and joined my Zoom calls? This is a common question and we can help you through it on the calls.
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy yes, I have taken the course, how can I join the zoom calls?
Everyone who registers for the course gets call schedule reminders from me ever couple of weeks. Perhaps you unsubscribed from e-mails? if so, sign up for the DP again, and you'll be back on the list.
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy What's DP?
@@CC-xn5xi Daily Practice
When the person has cptsd and they are on opioids medication you talk how they feel. But where does that leave me. How am I suppose to feel. What they do just effect s me. Any answers
Loving an addict of this caliber (you write about her in every comment) is hell, until you can lose all expectation that they can or will change, and decide for yourself what you ant to do about it.
Ruby is...well...me 😥
Hmmm. You seem to be putting the word “fear” in front of situations in the letter that would be better served using the words “I resent” or “I’m angry”. Granted, I haven’t taken your Daily Practice course so there’s probably a reason you attribute most things to fear, just a observation.
Yes, there are reasons. It's a very specific technique.
2:19, interesting.
Thanks for watching!
-Cara@TeamFairy
✌💜
Thanks for watching!
-Cara@TeamFairy
But you have told not to mention the cause of fear
I'm not sure what you mean... can you clarify?
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy you said in your free course that if we mention while we write the fears and resentment it would justify the fear and would rather work not to get off but would stay because of the cause which maybe real, but not necessary when we need to abandon those. In the letter by Ruby, she mentioned the cause also between the lines. My question is, though you told not to write those causes why while differentiating the mail, you integrated the causes as also the fears. Thank you🙂
OK, it sounds like I need to say this better! There is no rule not to write what you believe the cause the cause of your fears are. But even your beliefs about the cause begin "I have fear..." So if causes are on your mind, you might write, "I have fear I look weak because fear I didn't speak up because fear when I was a kid I got punished for speaking up... (etc.). When you notice you are resentful, you write "I am resentful at my dad because I have fear he made fun of me when I spoke up as a teenager." You DON'T say "I am resentful at my dad because he made fun of me." In this technique, we break our habit of assigning "cause" to everything outside ourselves (even when people and situations were hurtful or unjust). To get free, we accept that our "stuck" thinking is caused by fear.
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Thank you for breaking it to the fullest.